(1) I allowed myself a few minutes of “bummer” and then (2) I recognized that I created the situation that led to the disappointment through earlier negative thoughts/doubt and (3) and say (out loud) “never mind” while waving my hand in front of my face (sort of a clear my brain exercise) and I start thinking about what I want.

My real life example is that my boyfriend found “the house” and I was freaked because he loves it and I didn’t think it was a good time to move, and we clashed.

I’m certain that you seasoned LOA pros can already see what I did – I set myself up for disappointment by having a closed mind and doubt. I know that when I have doubt or fear, then that’s exactly what I’m manifesting – so I need to change my thought process to what makes me confident and happy.

Having done that, I now realize…
1. my boyfriend really loves me
2. we have plenty of time to house hunt, get our places ready for market
3. I’m excited about being a landlord (years ago I said that I wanted a condo for a rental property – and here we are)
4. we have a new agent who will take us around to search for more houses like The House

Everything has worked out perfectly and I laugh that I didn’t trust myself yesterday.

Fantastic question – this is something that we need to revisit often!

Enjoy your week, Everyone
Kimberly

And I love the quote in MN’s newsletter about “If you couldn’t lose, it wouldn’t be much of a game.” Sounds like a fun way to think about disappointment.

Not to mention a technical genius and generous spirit to help me figure out gravatars! lol

If I don’t get a handle on that soon, I’m taking you up on that offer!

In the meantime, I read this bit from Michael Neill’s newsletter today that I thought might enhance the perspectives on this subject:

(Excerpted from Michael Neill’s Genius Catalyst newsletter)

2. Set a bold, “impossible” target with a challenging time frame.

When I first began working with Steve Chandler a few years back, he challenged me to create an impossible game around money. With his coaching support, I set up a 90 day game where “winning” was defined as earning more than I had earned in the previous 12 months.

What was interesting to me was just how hard it was for me to even write my “impossible” goal down, let alone speak it into being. It was as if setting a goal and failing to achieve it was the worst thing that could possibly happen to me. What freed me up was when I took my attention off “winning” and put it onto what I was going to do to play the game.

For example, the goal in any sporting competition is to win. But if you put all of your attention on winning, you will almost certainly lose. A successful golfer will put their attention on making solid contact, or feeling the moment where their club head strikes the ball. A great soccer player will have their attention on where they need to be in relation to the ball and the other players, and as Wayne Gretzky once said, a great hockey player will “skate to where the puck is going to be”. The more these athletes allow themselves to get absorbed in the playing, the better they play and the more likely it becomes that they will win.

Similarly, if you create an impossible game around money, you put your moment by moment attention on serving others. If your game is around weight loss, you take your attention off the scales and put it onto things like exercise, emotional management and learning to listen to your body’s full signal. If your game is around your writing, you put your attention on getting words out of your head and down onto paper.

The point is that you get to make up the rules – and what constitutes winning and losing is only one small part of the game.

3. Know that you will probably lose – and play to win!

Each time I pointed out to Steve that I didn’t think I could possibly win my self-proclaimed money game, he would just say “that’s OK – if you couldn’t lose, it wouldn’t be much of a game.” I found that thought oddly comforting, but it wasn’t until I read The Last Word on Power by Tracy Goss that I began to understand why.

Here’s how she puts it:

Leadership always includes knowledge of the possibility of failure. In [an impossible] game, that produces a remarkable degree of confidence. If you operate with an acceptance of failure, you will remain confident no matter what happens during the course of the game.

You still play “to win”, of course, as without that, there would be no game at all. And there is always a scoreboard – you kept your bold promise [achieved your goal] or you didn’t. You check the scoreboard when the whistle blows… but the game never ends.

You calculate the results and debrief on how you “played”. What’s important, because you said so, is that you move the possibility forward. That allows you to immerse yourself in the challenge and pleasure of your game, regardless of the impediments you encounter or the circumstances that you must include. They are all opportunities for building the muscles of making the impossible happen.

As it happens, I failed at the money game I created with Steve – I didn’t reach my target until half way through the 4th month. But along the way, I realized that I loved being focused on service and of course, my clients loved it as well. The more I helped them to achieve their impossible dreams, the more my own impossible dreams began to come true.

Hope you enjoyed that excerpt from Michael as much as I did.

In my case, I’d applied to three schools for an MFA degree, really just wanting one of them to want me, not really wanting to go (I realized later), but I was so disappointed to get the final rejection letter a few weeks ago, and I’m still playing with that experience because I know it represents a lot for me–in particular the way I still want *someone* to declare me a writer. Right now, I’ve just been letting myself feel the feeling as it comes up and not wallowing in it.

As I move out of the disappointment, though, I’m finding it a great encouragement for redefining what I do want going forward, and I know that just applying opened up all sorts of things from re-activating a relationship with an old professor to finally taking a standardized test and learning that I don’t do too badly on them. I know this doesn’t work for everything, but when it does, it helps me feel so grateful for the process; probably more so than I am when I get what I want… Hmmm. I wonder if I bring about disappointment sometimes to remind myself to feel exactly that–gratitude in the process.

As always, thanks for providing such a safe, encouraging place to play with these ideas, Jeannette.

Oh, and if you’d like, I’d be happy to walk you through enabling gravatars on comment posts. It’s really, really easy.

Today’s post is in progress … just finished watching the Wrestler self destruct last night and then had an interesting turnaround with a retainer that has me wondering the role tension plays in our manifestations.

I’ll get back on it!

Who we are to proclaim “this color” or “that job” or this trophy or whatever it is we want – who we are is an offshoot of divine source energy. Nothing less, right? So there’s no reason to feel humble or less than … WE call the shots because we’re the ones experiencing the contrast.

And yes, certainly disappointment can arise from unmet expectations or desires, but I’m not on board with the answer being giving up expectations or desires and leaving it in Universe’s hands to deliver what it thinks best.

Because that’s MY job.

At least, that’s how I see it.

Sometimes I DO find my better feeling thought by saying “whatever will be, will be” … but I don’t think that’s me at my finest.

Or maybe it is when it’s something I’ve been really wrapped up about, then making peace is a beautiful thing.

But I still think that’s a step on the way to a truly powerful manifestation.

Interesting topic! Thanks for the catalyst for it, Anna!

All too often, we feel somehow let down because of (and by) our expectations. It’s easy for us to get a little cocky with our vibration – I’m in the zone, working the vibe to create what I want, taking inspired action, visualizing, meditating, etc… and while we remember we are a part of the Universe – connected, unified, one, whole – we sometimes forget that this Universe we are at one with, is so much more massive than our individual selves, that we underestimate the ultimate power and wisdom of this incredible Universe – and ultimately, every other being of light and energy, be their participation conscious or not.

And (speaking for myself) who am I to think that I know better than the entire Universe about what is best for me and mine with regard to manifesting my desires?

I mean, we’re manifesting as we are living right now, yes? And we vibe out what we desire, for the Universe to bring to our present, yes? So just because we don’t see or accept certain moves along the way to the big desires, doesn’t mean we or the Universe are doing anything wrong – only that we’re not always thinking about the big picture… which is that desire vibe we put out, let go of, forget, and thereby allow the Universe to bring to us more easily. Seems to me it’s those contradictory vibrational desires (ie long term v. short term) that get us into these pickles of disappointment.

Personally, I’m totally cool with the Universe organizing and prioritizing my vibes – especially in all cases where I have contradictory, limiting vibes. I mean, who the heck am I to say “Give me purple – now! I like blue, yellow, soft pink and tortoise shell so give them to me – now – and do it EXACTLY where I want purple – now!”

I guess what I’m saying is that no matter what, I’ll always be grateful for knowledge and wisdom and future sight greater than mine. Which is all I can really speak to since I’m not afraid of death, or dying… a violent horrific act, yes, but death in and of itself, never… even with loved ones, bi and quadruped alike.

Of course, that doesn’t mean I don’t feel for you, or that I’m not sorry for your loss, Jeannette (that’s a people here thing) only that I am happy for your sweet kitty, who’s loving the grandeur on the other side.

Good to remember! Thanks for that.