Comments on: Q&A: How to Manifest ‘Him or Someone Better’?

By: Jennifer T

Jennifer T — Thu, 31 Dec 2009 19:10:15 +0000

The way I see it is, that I guess it all boils down to something I once heard: “be the change you want to see in your life”… which also can be put simply: “set the example.” After all, it is up to each and every one of us to let others know (romantic partners included) how we expect to be treated.

And, of course, by universal law… only those people/circumstances/etc… will be drawn to us from that standpoint.

By: Stacy G

Stacy G — Wed, 18 Nov 2009 15:51:26 +0000

Jeannette – thank you so much for your insight and good thoughts! Shortly after writing my posts and reading your response, I sat down and really thought about what makes me feel good and I acted on it. I actually went ahead and started my pray rain journal and over these last few days my attitude and happiness has shifted upward! I’m no longer stressing about where ‘he’ or anyone fits in my life anymore, I’m just taking it as it all comes and I’m enjoying every single second of it. Shutting people out doesn’t make me happy, so I put an end to that.

Whomever is my ‘dream’ man, will be, and that is that!

Thank you so much. I’m really grateful I found this post and this site. I really enjoy coming here everyday as a source of inspiration.

Stacy

By: Kelly

Kelly — Wed, 18 Nov 2009 14:46:15 +0000

Wow. Jeanette, you know that I needed this or you wouldn’t have sent me the link today! In the same situation, seeing my “dating partner” for 2.5 years now, met at an AWFUL time for her (lost job, father dying) and she told me on day one “I don’t do relationships well”.

The good is off the charts, the bad seems insurmountable. I try to stay open to all possibilities, her or someone else.

But the “pour all the loving energy in yourself for a while and the Universe will know you are ready…” from Carol was a swift kick in the pants. I don’t do this. I pour it all into this relationship.

So! Off to try something new.

This site, and you, are amazing Jeanette!

By: Carol

Carol — Wed, 18 Nov 2009 09:52:52 +0000

Hi Kiki, Like so many of us I have been involved in a soulmate relationship which was not a partner relationship. A relationship which makes you want to cry out ‘Why? Why?” a lot of the time. I really love Alora’s take on soulmate vs partner!
It was in 2006. I read Abraham and I’d come to realize ‘the situation’ was in no way contributing to my happiness and since happiness is paramount, I decided to focus on my feelings in the here and now and putting lots of energy in my goals, practicing self love… Starting meditation also. The “situation’ had lasted for almost six years and only one month after starting meditation, I was apparently ready to play a bit, had a very lighthearted experience with a guy, which still makes me smile. Then, another three months later, while volunteering for something I felt passionate about, I met my partner! And he’s the full package. And I keep focusing on my own goals, my own path.

Be very sweet to yourself, pour all that loving energy in yourself for a while and the universe will know you are ready…

By: Alora

Alora — Tue, 17 Nov 2009 06:56:07 +0000

Hi Kiki & All,

I was in a similar situation years ago. He was a soul mate and it was external circumstances that kept us apart and it was agonizing.

How I got turned around and manifested my husband was this (if it helps)…

I realized that there is a difference between a soul mate and a soul mate who is a partner. Just because they are a soul mate doesn’t mean they are a partner. I wanted a partner. He obviously wasn’t it because he couldn’t or wouldn’t go there with me.

I realized that dating and dealing with men was such a problematic area of my life and had been for 15 years that I realized I would rather be single because I was happier when I wasn’t in a Romeo-Juliet agony story. And I thought “What’s wrong with being single for my whole life if I’m happy, isn’t happy the point?” and I said OK to that.

I quit my day job, cashed in my 401k and committed myself to a passion/career I felt completely at Purpose with. I was totally fulfilled in it.

Then I turned around and there was this guy… and I didn’t want to date him because I was too busy doing my own thing. But the Universe pulled out the stops to get us to date (that’s another story) and 6 years and two kids later I am still madly in love with him, my husband.

And all of this happened before I knew about Law of Attraction.

So if it helps, I offer my story to you, with the tools about the soul mate vs. soul mate partner, just dropping the relationship stick (as Abraham may say) if it’s too messy for you and just aiming for happy, and getting yourself completely in tune with what makes you feel completely connected to your Purpose, whatever that is.

Personally, I am not sure I could have manifested a better guy while still in the woes of that star-crossed relationship. Instead of trying for another relationship – in retrospect – I chose myself instead. And ended up married…

…because the Universe knows what you want. The only reason you have to keep repeating it is for you.

HUGS to you all going through this because I remember how much it hurt. So be easy on yourself. You love deeply and you feel deeply and you have big hearts. You are so beautiful.

By: Jeannette

Jeannette — Sat, 14 Nov 2009 23:57:11 +0000

Stacy, if I were in your shoes I would genuinely ask myself the question, “What feels better?” and go with whatever answer comes up.

My answer in your shoes is that girlfriend or not, I’d still appreciate and enjoy my love for the guy. Just because we’re not in the same city, nor the same bed doesn’t mean I can’t love him! And just because I love him doesn’t mean someone else can’t fill the open spot for “boyfriend” in my life.

(Which is how I came to have so many ex-boyfriends I love to this day!)

But that’s MY take. You’ll want to find YOURS. Sending good thoughts to you for that process.

By: Kiki

Kiki — Sat, 14 Nov 2009 09:14:30 +0000

Hi Everyone

Hope you are all having good weeks. I came across this quote which is helping me (in addition to all your loving and helpful advice):

“Everything is ok in the end. If it’s not ok, it’s not the end.” – Unknown

Thought it might be useful.

Love Kiki

By: Stacy G

Stacy G — Fri, 13 Nov 2009 17:19:21 +0000

I am so glad this post was created. I need some guidance and insight on how I can help to improve my current situation that sounds very similar to Kiki’s and some others.

I met a guy a little over two years ago and we instantly hit it off and became friends. Our friendship quickly developed and within the first few months we were already referring to each other as best friends. I didn’t see him a romantic way at first but then all of a sudden it hit me and I realized I was falling in love with him. Then suddenly it hit me – he was the guy I created and had been waiting for. He fullfilled everything on my list. To top it off he even filled a test I had set up for myself and my friends. I talked about LOA often and I said I’m going to make a statement to prove it to everyone and I said outloud “I’m going to marry the man that takes me to see Gavin DeGraw” (an artist I love – I’m a big music buff so that statement meant a lot).

So the first time the two of us hung out alone (we met on a cruise -long story) was – get this – when he went with me to see Gavin DeGraw! I had missed tickets for his NYC show so I bought a solo ticket to see him in Boston and I planned on staying with family after the show. He decided to scalp a ticket (he paid $60 for a $25 ticket) and he took me to the show. That night was also our first kiss. Anyways…

He told me quickly off the bat that he wasn’t ready for a relationship with me. He said we were best friends and he didn’t want to ruin it and right now he just couldn’t take the chance at losing me due to his issues with relationships. Unfortunately, our friendship lines were very blurred and it often became confusing and in the meantime I fell madly in love with him. He has since dated another girl and is now living with his current girlfriend who was an Ex that he had unresolved feelings for.

That leads me to my struggle. I love him and I miss him terribly (we used to live in the same city, I moved before his GF came because I couldn’t handle it) but I’m trying to figure out what to do. He is my best friend and I can’t imagine not having him in my life but it hurts to see him with his girlfriend. The kicker is, it hurts more not to talk to him (which is what my friends suggested I do). I’m trying to figure out what solution is best. Do I have to give up my best friend and move on or do I accept the reality of it all and ‘give’ myself my best friend so I’m happy in that regard? I truly believe we are meant to be together but I know I need to detach myself from that thought right now.

Any insight would be so helpful! I feel like the right thing to do is to be his friend in the best way it works for me and just trust that it’s ‘him or someone better’ and it will all work out as it should. I feel better just typing that. I should listen to that, shouldn’t I?

Sorry it’s so long – I just feel so relieved to have a place to talk about this!

Stacy G

By: sonia

sonia — Thu, 12 Nov 2009 20:14:58 +0000

Kiki, just stop trying so hard. Let yourself feel the pain, be sad for as long as you need to, cry for as long as you need to and soothe yourself like you would for a close friend. Tell yourself the words you’d tell them, be nice and gentle, be caring.
You’re hurt, that’s your reality for now, accept it. Things will improve bit by bit and you will be guided toward Juan …or someone else but that’s not the point now. For now, just be patient with yourself, do nice things for Kiki, take care of her and if sometimes it gets too hard…so be it. It’s ok. This too shall pass. Hang in there. I know that some hours can be awful but it gets better, I promise, it does. Been there, done that. And feel the love you have for Juan with all your soul, love is really the greatest energy, it will heal you.
Much love.

By: Toni

Toni — Thu, 12 Nov 2009 19:10:09 +0000

Wow… this post AND comments are nothing short of fantastic…

And you know what, you guys, this can easily be applied to everything else that you so passionately want to attract into your life.

Personally I’ve got a few new ideas for my two big wishes, DreamJob and SecondChild – in particular thanks to LivingtheLOA and her great examples.

Thank you!