Benefits of Neglecting Your Desire

June 5, 2011 | 35 Comments »

There Are Benefits to Neglecting Your Manifesting PracticeI called a friend for green thumb advice on what to do different with a couple of indoor plants that weren’t thriving.

He suggested something I wouldn’t have come up with myself: neglect.

Robert said plants sometimes do better when you don’t give them too much attention, since we plant lovers can be prone to overwatering, overfertilizing, unnecessary repotting, etc.

It turns out, as he shared on a recent GVU call, the same wisdom applies when it comes to manifesting what we want.

Sometimes our deliberate creation routines don’t actually improve the vibration or help the situation.

Kind of like how I keep moving this wilting dracaena around, trying to find the best light.  Always sticking a finger in the dirt to see if it’s getting dry.   Wondering if I should try a different fertilizer. 

All that fuss and negative attention hasn’t helped it.

Yet, after implementing Robert’s advice a few weeks ago, I noticed today as I did the regular watering rounds (no more special attention to plants in jeopardy, so today’s the first time I noticed) that there are new leaves coming up!  And it’s not dropping as many as it used to!

Huh.  “Neglect” seems to be working.

Which shouldn’t surprise me, since the same thing occasionally happens with our manifesting practices – especially with those of us who qualify as zealot creators.  Like when we …

  • doggedly visualize every day, rain or shine, feel good or not.  (Sometimes there’s no good juju in those efforts.) 
  • or neurotically pay attention to our thoughts – is that a good thought or a bad one?  Can I do better?  Did I just ruin everything with that stupid worry?
  • or devotedly gaze at our vision board, willing those items to manifest in real life once and for all, g#$%&*it!

(Unwittingly) flowing fuss and worry about what we want won’t take us where we want to go.  In fact, in those situations we’d be better off not thinking about it at all.

For real.

I’m not suggesting that consciously managing our vibration is a hindrance to getting what we want – quite the contrary.

But sometimes our manifesting efforts don’t serve us as well as we think they do. 

Whether it’s because we try too hard, or get attached to results, or inadvertently pay “negative” attention – sometimes our manifesting practice backfires.  In those sitautions, easing up on our law of attraction routine or putting less focus on the desire itself is what’s best.

Ask anyone at Good Vibe U who has manifested a treasure hunt item after it ended.

Or ask those “natural manifesters” (don’t we all know one?) who are so good at getting what they want even though they’ve never heard of deliberate creation.

Or ask Abigail Steidley or Dan Howard who are well versed in the power of doing nothing.

I’m just saying that sometimes we overdo it, even though our intentions are good.

Relax. 

Chill out. 

Think about something else that’s easier to enjoy for a while.

And don’t be surprised if that’s exactly when new leaves start sprouting!

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35 Responses to “ Benefits of Neglecting Your Desire ”

  1. Parul Bhargava says:

    Hmmmmm… interesting post. I’ve heard Robert say that before in one of the posts in the GVU forums.

    I think I got my “assignment” for the 30-Day Kaizen Experiment! 🙂

  2. Parul Bhargava says:

    Oh and I just remembered my experience with this “neglect” technique.

    I had a patch on my forehead and was told by all around me that it would take a long time to heal. My Mom had had the same problem and I remember it took a long time for it to cure. I was quite freaked out and went to the doctor, who, I must say was the coolest one. He was totally and calm and said it was no big deal. He gave me some medicines to apply.

    But, I decided to just “ignore/ neglect” the issue. It was a little hard in the beginning since it was in a very obvious spot.

    I did eventually manage to ignore it and stopped the medication and the problem was resolved in record time. No medication and no repeat visits to the Doctor. It was pretty amazing! 🙂

    So yeah, this totally works!!! 🙂

  3. Okay, ignoring it when it’s on your own physical body is the sign of a master manifester in my opinion … or at least someone who is exceptionally gifted at directing their attention by concious choice.

    (Same thing, huh?)

    Kudos, Parul! Love that story! Thanks for sharing it here.
    🙂

  4. I think you’ll find it serves you well, Kati.

    Relaxing and chilling is very nice alignment.

    Thanks for reading and especially for posting, my friend.
    🙂

  5. KE says:

    I’d like to see an article on/interview with “natural manifestors”. I think to some degree we all easily manifest what we want in certain areas, so to others we might appear to be natural manifestors but we don’t recognize it because we take it for granted. There are several people in my life who I look at and think, how come she never had to think about this the (hard) way I have? How come it just comes easily to her? And these are kind of major things, like trips around the world, partners, homes, new phones, jobs I wanted (grr), and so on. I have had a lot of wonderful manifestations others may feel the same jealousy about, but I’m curious to know how many actually consider themselves “natural manifestors” and if they’re aware of what they “do right”.
    As for plant neglect, yes, they generally don’t like fussing. They want healthy soil, decent sun and water, some appreciation and then for us to bugger off 🙂

  6. Kati says:

    Exactly what I needed to hear! Thank you, Jeannette! 🙂 For the next week I will just relax and chill! Sounds perfect to me! 🙂

  7. Kati says:

    Oh yeah and neglect everything not going right, ofc! 🙂

  8. KE says:

    ETA: Oh, maybe those kind of stories are in your Adventures In Manifesting book, I’ll have to get that one 🙂

  9. KE, I think that might be what Universe wants from us too!! ha ha To “bugger off” so it can do its thing with what we’ve created through our desires!

    I’ll get to work on that “natural manifester” post. Oh wait, that’s exactly what a natural manifester wouldn’t say. (“get to work”) lol

  10. Jessica says:

    Did you say you did a loa treasure hunt? That’s SO COOL.

  11. It is fun, Jessica. Kind of a fun way to grow our confidence in our creative skills without any high stakes or pressure.

    Plus we each learn what serves us best so we develop our own personal manifesting style.
    🙂

  12. Csilla says:

    I agree totally – we are by nature “fixers” and controllers. But when we neglect, I like to think that we are moving into trust and belief; knowing that the order which we placed (our desire or wish) has been taken and will be delivered. A little like giving a waiter our order in the restaurant. We sit back and wait. We don’t run into the kitchen to see how the meal is proceeding. We don’t keep stopping the waiter and ask for an update. Same with this. Relax, chill out and if you want to call it neglect then so be it. Great information. Thank you.

  13. ooh, I like that, Csilla. Neglect as a form of trust and belief. That’s a very different vibe than frustration or giving up.

    The restaurant order analogy is a perfect one!

    Thanks for posting, my friend. And looking forward to your guest post soon!
    🙂

  14. Love this! I do ignore my desires – although I like to think of it as allowing my desires to percolate. Maybe the old adage, “a watched pot never boils” makes more sense than we thought~!

  15. “Percolating” – nice, Angela! And I think you’re right about the wisdom in that old adage.

    In fact, that might make a great blog post, too. Finding LOA wisdom in old sayings!

    Thanks for posting here, Angela. Always a pleasure to hear from you.
    🙂

  16. Elizabeth says:

    Ha. That’s exactly how I killed my cactus. With love (i.e. overwatering). 😉

  17. Yep, I know that routine, Elizabeth. I’ve put a few cacti in cactus heaven myself. lol

  18. Hi “Good Vibe”,
    I love to “chill”, no real effort needed there.
    ‘Neglect without forget’ would be my motto, love to visualise in a chilled way everyday.
    be good to yourself
    David

  19. That sounds like an excellent approach, David. Love the mantra!
    🙂

  20. David, your “neglect without forget” has me reflecting, too, that I didn’t TOTALLY stop watering.

    I mean, I stopped the extra attention, but there was still regular watering going on.

    Good to point out, I think. It wasn’t a complete abandonment.

    Note to self: continue visualization practices!

  21. Amanda42 says:

    Robert certainly knows his stuff! I’m being careful not too dig up the flowers to make sure they’re growing. Thanks, Robert!

    I also like to remind myself “Quit poking at it!” when I’m *too* focused on what I want.

  22. That reminder makes me laugh out loud, Amanda! “Quit poking at it.” Wise words delivered with a laugh are sure to be helpful in the manifesting process!

    Thanks for posting. 🙂

  23. Loulou says:

    Wotcha!

    I really like David’s ‘neglect without forget’ and Csilla’s restaurant parallel!

    Very often with awkward things at work that I don’t feel up to dealing with immediately, or haven’t worked out the best way to deal with straight away, I leave them (neglect/ignore) and occasionally idly mull it over and then send it packing back to the neglect room.

    When I feel ready to do something about whatever it is I frequently discover it’s actually all worked itself out without my input/interference far more beautifully and perfectly than I could ever have managed. All I had to do was leave it and get on with the stuff I knew I could deal with.

    I love it when this happens, it’s proper magic! Positive neglect really.

  24. Oh, how smart of you, Loulou!! That’s brilliant – and reminds me of how Esther Hicks sometimes will say to herself, “I don’t have to think about this right now.” Knowing that anytime we focus on it when we’re feeling anxious or tense isn’t likely to turn out how we’d prefer.

    And no surprise to hear you report that often when you DO check in on it, it’s already resolved!

    Thanks for sharing that bit of inspiration with us, Loulou! 🙂

  25. Nicole says:

    This reminds me of some very good advice that a coworker once gave me… he said “there are two ways to solve a problem – SOLVE it, or OUTLIVE it!” Outliving a problem oftentimes just means neglecting it until circumstances change, and they always do.

    This is great advice for me to take myself too. I have a tendency to force issues instead of letting them gracefully come to conclusions.

    Nicole

  26. I’d never heard that before, Nicole. Hmm!

    Great way to drop the “forcing” habit and allow things to resolve themselves.
    🙂

  27. Anna says:

    Love Csilla’s restaurant analogy – I’ll be using that one.

    Have to say, my quickest and easiest manifestations all came as a surprise to me because I’d *forgotten* all about them! So when they appeared right in front of me – literally – I giggled and smiled and thanked GUS right then and there!

    I’ve been practicing this neglect/forget every time a matter/issue/problem/uh-oh places itself on my mind. I’m not lagging about with my feet up eating bonbons because frankly, I don’t like bonbons. I do, however, make it a point of thoroughly enjoy my experience each time I have an Icy Square, Zero Bar, or any other piece of fine chocolate – especially dark! That totally keeps my mind off and away from trying to figure out how to solve a problem or what to do about bringing on a speedier manifestation. Besides, that’s all GUS’s job – and mine is to keep out of the way!

  28. “Stay out the way” – another good reminder not to get too fussy about “making” our dreams come to fruition, huh?

    Thanks for popping in on this one, Anna!

  29. Jussi says:

    This one I really enjoyed reading! You got a good point there! Thank you – I’m relaxing now!!

  30. I think when we’re relaxing, we’re on the right track, Jussi!

    Thanks for reading and for posting, my friend.
    🙂

  31. mariam says:

    Love all these suggestions but I’d like to know more about “LOA treasure hunt”..
    What is it? I want to grow my confidence in my creative skills and learn what serves me best etc…How do I do that?

  32. mariam says:

    Keep me posted, can’t wait to read the answers, thank you xo

  33. You’ll love this, Mariam:

    http://www.goodvibeuniversity.com/public/department79.cfm

    We have a new list every month that we just intend to manifest without taking any real life “action.” Definitely good to build the confidence in both law of attraction and our own manifesting skills.

    Do join us!

    (Members of GVU are in the running for prizes, but anyone can play along as we go.)

  34. Lin E says:

    Hmmm, Jeannette… this reminded me of when I decided I needed to ‘neglect’ my college student son. When I worried and worried about him, he would never call. As soon as I stopped thinking “he’s forgotten all about me!”, and carried on without the worry, he’d call me up with a big “HI MOM” and want to talk and talk.

    Moral of the story: plants and teenage boys are the same. LOL.

  35. Funny, Lin! I will say teenage sons are probably harder to ignore than plants, so kudos to you for being able to practice this there!

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