Some of you heard me commit to having this breakup in the vortex, so I thought it time for an update as to how that’s working out.

Quick backstory: last month Russ said he’d had enough, was crystal clear that this wasn’t what he wanted, and if I wasn’t prepared to make immediate and significant change (which meant limits on a friendship with an ex-beau), then we were done.

So we were done.

Just like that.

While reeling from the shock of this surprise turn of events, I turned to my cohorts in creation and committed to having the best breakup I’d ever had.  A breakup in the vortex (ala Abraham).

I’ve never had one of those (a fun, enjoyable, loving breakup?) - so I didn’t know exactly what it would be like or how to go about creating it …

… but I did know from the anger, resentment and fear that was bubbling up that I needed to get very deliberate about what I chose to feel through all this.  Or I could easily get swept up in the typical routine of what we expect a breakup to be.

So in to the vortex I headed.

That trip in started with being really upset, primarily with his idiocy, some other name-calling (in my own mind and to a compassionate girlfriend or two), and a healthy round of blame.

That might not sound like vortex material, but it was an enormous step up from the initial despair and powerlessness I felt in those first red hot moments.

So with the feeling-better momentum in place (even if it came from bad-mouthing and imagining his deep regret about such a stupid move), I swiftly moved on to disappointment and then worked my way up to acceptance.

(When I say swiftly, I mean a couple of days.  This didn’t happen on a dime exactly.)

And get this: after being willing to fully feel all the not-so-nice stuff, I got beautiful access to the higher vibrations!  (It always surprises me how well that turns out!)

After being willing to feel scared and mad and all that other non-fun stuff, it gave me freedom from being stuck there.  Super cool how that works.

In that space, I had the presence of mind to remember that  big change can only mean one thing – good things coming!

Life only gets better (when you know to manage the contrast and go with the good flow), so to have a big shakeup like this must mean life was getting even better than before.  And I thought it was good to start with, so this would be interesting to see how Universe could top it!

I had no idea what “better than before” might look like – a new house?  A new man?  A new focus on me, or maybe my work?  This house to myself?  More cats??  I didn’t know.

I couldn’t see the end result, but I reiterated to myself that it’s only going to get better.

And I knew that would work best if I could flow some surrender and acceptance, rather than resistance.

So I got okay with it.

In fact, after a little bit of practice with the better-feeling thoughts, I started to be excited about what would happen next!

I actually woke up one morning, you know that moment of instant recall once you’re awake again and the flood of realization comes back about what’s happening in life – yeah, at that moment the thought that spontaneously popped in was “I love my life!”

To naturally come up with that thought in the midst of an uninitiated and unwanted breakup?  I knew I was in the vortex!

Which made it easier to appreciate all that was present in my life – not knowing whether I’d be with any of it next week even.

I soaked up the good stuff now: waking up in this fabulous bed, hearing those beautiful birds outside, seeing his ridiculous Frosted Flakes in the pantry, picking up his mail from the mailbox, dating a scratch golfer (surely that wouldn’t happen again!), admiring this gorgeous backyard, talking to him about the vote on Survivor that he missed, even something as simple as saying goodnight.

All the stuff I’d been taking for granted!  Sure I appreciated it, but not like I was NOW.  Now that I realized it might not be here tomorrow.

I mentally traced back the path to how I got here, those early dates in the beginning, what a breath of fresh air he was.  His traits of being super practical and thinking ahead and smelling so good.  And the frustrations, too!  I could even enjoy those now that I knew they wouldn’t be in my future.  No more not letting dogs on the people couch – ha!  No more over-trimming of the lawn.  Ahhhh.

It was a lot of enjoyment packed in those days.

Not to mention a tremendous amount of love and support coming from facebook friends and GVU compadres.  That was a LOT of love you guys sent!

So here I was dripping in love at a time when – normally – one would expect to be fired up with quite the opposite feelings.

It felt very vortexy!

I emailed Russ a sweet and heartfelt note about how I imagined he was having a rough day, because even though all this was his idea I knew it wasn’t easy for him.  I told him how much I admired his courage to do what was in his heart, and how grateful I was that he honored what mattered to him, even when I didn’t agree with it.

And I shared my confidence that good things were in store for both of us.

I even wrote to him suggesting that his next partner would be so much more of what he wanted.  I could genuinely enjoy the thoughts of him being happy with someone else, especially knowing life would get better for me, too.  However that might look!

So when he brusquely asked me to stop writing him and stay out of his way until we got into separate houses, I respected his request.  I knew his way of breaking up was different than mine, and I easily accommodated his request by laying low.  I stopped sending notes and did my best to not be home when he was.

I was turning out to be a really good ex-live-in-girlfriend!

After several days of this, Russ sent a note (when he couldn’t reach me by phone) saying he realized he had complained about things that seemed trivial now, that we had a good life together he had taken for granted, and that he hoped there was a road back for us.

My rather rigid response was that there was no going back, our breakup was official (it was on facebook after all) and that I wasn’t interested in “going backwards.”

He responded that instead of going back to how things were he was committed to moving forward to join me where I was.  In this place of love and appreciation and commitment to feeling good.

Holy hannah – he’s joining me in the vortex?!

Sure enough, that’s what the last month has been.  And continues to be once I dropped my resistancey “rules” about how to conduct relationships with exes.

This union is now better than it ever was – even though we’re technically “exes” – it got even better than it was before.  In too many ways to count.  (If this post weren’t already this long, I’d share some of those ways.)

Although there is one very surprising and interesting side effect I will mention from this vortex breakup: I have never had less interest in other men ever before in my entire life.

Like, I would have expected that in having a new ex I’d feel quite single and open to possibilities – “available” in some sense – since I wasn’t in a committed relationship.

And yet, the opposite has happened.  I couldn’t have less interest in other men.  That surprises me – to feel a deeper  level of commitment in a supposedly “uncommitted” relationship.

So I’m having the best time ever with my newest ex-boyfriend, and looking forward to more of it.  Although I know that if he changes his mind tomorrow, I know how to handle that situation quite nicely.  (Been there, done that.)

Universe delivered exactly what I expected in a way I didn’t anticipate. Big change ushering in even better stuff.  From my personal experience I will say that breakups in the vortex are not to be missed!

This post isn’t done, though, until I give due credit and thanks to those of you who flooded my world with vibrations of love and support.  Seriously, a girl couldn’t have a bad breakup when she’s in the midst of that sea of love!  Thanks, all.

Related posts:

1. Quick Ticket to Your Vortex
2. Abraham’s Vortex
3. Ventures Out of the Vortex

I don’t see too many folks getting hung up on joyful events, whereas it seems more common for someone to dwell on an experience that brings grief, anger, resentment, or other emotional pain.

I’d never given it much thought until browsing the bookstore yesterday I happened across this intriguing title: Working On Yourself Doesn’t Work.

The authors share three principles to transforming your life, including that

• whatever we resist persists (we know that one well) 
• you can only be with what is right now (theme of allowing, being present, and no judgment, although I could be remembering this one wrong)
• and the third one I especially liked: Allowing yourself to be with it will complete it

With that third principle (which clients will recognize from the Tom Stone homework I often assign of feeling your feelings fully), the authors suggest releasing any agenda of getting rid of something, and rather letting yourself be with it fully.  Then whatever it is will complete.

They told a personal story that involved the experience of physical pain, but shared that we also see this with emotions as well.  Like how happiness is often fleeting, while sadness can last for weeks.  Or longer.

What’s gives?

The reason, they say, is that when we don’t let ourselves feel something or be fully present to what is, it will continue.  Conversely, when we do allow ourselves to feel it fully, it completes. 

(Whoa, thinking of the physical examples of orgasms vs. headaches.)

Anyway, since happiness is easy to feel fully, it completes faster than things like sadness or grief or anger which we might not be as willing to fully feel.

Interesting, huh?

Some of you have heard me tell the story about how I accidentally practiced this several yeras ago when my dog Sophie died at home: 

It was the first time one of my animals died at home when it was just the two of us.  Usually I’m either at the vet’s office, trying to keep it together.  Or the vet is at my house, and I’m trying to keep it together.  Or I’m with a (human) friend, trying to keep it together. 

This time there was no reason to keep it together.  After Sophie died at the front door, I walked to the back porch, sat down on the top step in the sun, hugged my knees to my chest, and let myself be sad.

I was REALLY sad.  I was so sad, I remember being in absolute awe of how sad I was.  I actually observed it with the thought, “Man, look how SAD I am!  I didn’t know anyone could BE this sad.  This is really sad!”

I felt it intensely; it was the saddest I’ve ever been. 

For about four minutes.

And then it was gone.

Just that like that.

There was no more sadness.  Instead, just peace.

It was really bizarre – and cool – that the sadness could be that strong, without being overwhelming.  And then be gone, just as fast as it came.

When I ran across Tom Stone’s “feeling fully” work a few years later, I realized that’s what I had accidentally practiced that day on the back porch.  I let myself feel the sadness all the way.

And when we do that, it completes pretty quickly.

I thought it was a useful awareness when it sometimes seems like happiness can be so fleeting while other feelings seem to drag on forever.  This seems like a pretty good key as to why that’s the case, and how we could work with it differently if we wanted to.

Anyone else have experience with this? 

Ha – or does anyone have any experience with resisting happiness to make it last longer?  (I’m not sure I even want to attempt that experiment.)

Related posts:

1. What To Do With Unwanted Emotion?
2. The Beauty of Anger
3. My Breakup in the Vortex

(Roxy had a bunch of teeth pulled last week and is on pain meds and antibiotics.  As a feral in pain, you might imagine she’s not the easiest cat to medicate.  Thanks, Verrall, for saving the day!)

Anyway, my ex asked why I was on the computer on a Sunday morning. 

I showed him an inbox with over 120 recent emails from paying clients, people who want to be paying clients, colleagues proposing collaborations, etc. and told him I also needed to submit a Catalyst article and get a new blog post up. 

That’s why I’m in the office on Sunday. 

Even though it also happened to be Valentine’s Day, it’s a year round phenomenon that many of these client emails are from people frustrated with their love lives. 

• One client is upset that her love interest is unavailable to her,
• another is frustrated she hasn’t been able to manifest the relationship she wants,
• another is confused that his love interest is aloof,
• another is discouraged she has no love life whatsoever, etc. etc.

My ex (who says he can only preach law of attraction, not practice it) said to me, “If it’s work, it doesn’t work.”

I interpreted that sentence as helpful words for someone trying too hard to manifest a relationship. 

Turns out he meant them for me, about spending Sunday on an overflowing inbox with writing deadlines and a phone that kept ringing.

“You meant that in terms of people who are trying to find love and create a relationship, right?” I asked him. 

He rolled his eyes at my ability to miss the point and said, “For everything.”

For everything. 

• For trying to force a relationship that isn’t flowing,
• for trying to control the uncontrollable,
• for trying to make money that isn’t there,
• for trying to keep up when there’s too much to keep up with.

If it’s work, it doesn’t work.

Okay, maybe I get it.

When we try too hard (or try at all) to make something happen, we keep that very thing from happening. 

Not that “work” is bad in and of itself.  It’s just when it feels like work, in a hard and exhausting way, rather than in an enjoyable and uplifting “flow” kind of way, that it’s not serving us.

We know the difference, right?  If not, we’d be well served to get a handle on it.

It’s just like Abraham’s upstream vs. downstream analogy.  When we’re paddling upstream, we’re headed in the exact opposite direction of what we want, because everything we want is downstream.  And it’s not hard work to float downstream.

Ever since Fen posted in the Good Vibe U forum about “Allowing vs. Doing” I’ve been thinking about how sometimes it is enjoyable to do something, rather than just twinkle our nose and have it done immediately.  (Although there are times that “instant” is my favorite way to go.)

Like putting Good Vibe U together – that’s been “work,” but fun work.  Mostly, anyway.  The fabulous Kelly Livesay was happy to load content to it, but I rather enjoyed the process myself.  (Even if it wasn’t the smartest way for me to spend time.)

I could tell when it crossed the feel good line, and started to feel a little heavy.  Which was my sign to back off till it got fun again, which it quickly did once it had a little space.

Our opportunity as deliberate creators is to be sensitive enough to recognize once we’ve engaged the push or the try or the hard work energy.  That vibe won’t take us where we want to go.

So if my love-challenged clients would read blog posts (it amazes me how many don’t), I would point them to this one: 

Reminding them that if the relationship isn’t flowing naturally, that’s our cue to get looser, get easier, to shake it off and get our focus on something that does feel good.  To take a deep breath, relax our grip on it, and remember what is right about the world.

For those who are looking for a more potent reminder about how this all works, Terry DeMeo and Martha Beck and I are offering a four call series on the topic of attracting extraordinary relationships starting next week.  And no doubt Michele Woodward and I will explore it after we talk about money, which starts next week as well.

(Sheesh, told you I was busy!)

And I already know I’ll be quoting the wisdom of the Good Vibe community in the comments you share on this subject. 

Which, brings me back to why I’m still sitting in my office chair on Valentine’s Sunday morning.  This is without a doubt one of the things I love most in life – engaging with you on the fascinating and somewhat challenging subject of deliberate creation when it comes to love, money, and everything else we ever wanted.

Life is good, huh?!

Happy Valentine’s Day, lovers.

Related posts:

1. Guest Post: Wanting a Relationship or Avoiding Single?
2. My Breakup in the Vortex
3. Does It Really Work??

“I drilled three, one-inch holes in my wall and they are all in the wrong places!”

“Holy hell!”

Here’s a story of how my simple formula, THINK, FOCUS, FEEL, ATTRACT saved the day!

I was installing new shelves in my home office. A destroy-it yourself project. I mean, do-it yourself project!

Look out! I’m a man on a mission with power tools!!! Arrrrrrrrr!

DeWALT cordless drill 8.9 turbo, power saw, power vacuum, my nail gun and cement mixer!

I have 3 holes in my wall that need to be spackled and painted before I can finish installing my new shelves. Holy hell!

I was standing in my garage looking around… I find the spackling.

YES!

Now, where is the touch up paint????

I am looking everywhere, high and low, left and right! I even looked in my underwear drawer! Whoa, can’t tell you what I found there!

I am thinking to myself, “I know I have touch up paint”.  “I know I have touch up paint.”

“WHERE is it????”

Shaking the cordless drill to the paint Gods in the sky!!!! “I can’t find it! I can’t find it! I can’t find it! I can’t find it!”

Ugh, frustration!!

This means I have to go to the paint store? I don’t have time! But I have to fix these holes before I can install the shelves!

Wait a MINUTE!!!!! My vibration of attraction is way off. I am not in the receiving mode of my beloved paint!

Okay, let’s look at my situation. What am I doing wrong? Duh!!!!

Standing in my garage saying, “I can’t find it! Where is it? I can’t find it? I have looked everywhere!”

I am more focused on the lack of it, rather than the presence of it!

I am focused on what I don’t want, instead of what I do want.

I want the paint but I keep saying to myself over and over. I can’t find it, where is it? I know it’s around here somewhere, I can’t find it!

With my thoughts and focus on, “I can’t find it”, I now begin to FEEL the impossibility of finding it!!!

How I feel is how I attract!

Even though I want the paint, even though I visualize myself painting my closet. I am still so focused on how I can NOT find the paint, that I am NOW vibrating at a frequency that will not allow me to find the paint. No matter how hard I try!

I looked everywhere and could not find it! It’s gone!

KABOOM – FLASH OF LIGHTING! Suddenly I heard a voice inside my head! (Celestial music in the background)

“If you want to find the paint you have to start feeling like you have already found it!!!!!!!”

Whoa, dude! I slowly put down the cordless drill!

At first I could not find that feeling anywhere, because I was frustrated and starting to get angry!

The “feeling” of finding the paint was no where to be found!

This is where I used my THINK, FOCUS, FEEL, ATTRACT formula!

First I had to find a thought, one simple thought that would bring me the feeling I was after! I wasn’t even sure what the feeling thought would be???

I put my hands over my head and said, “YES! I found the paint! Woohoo! I did it! There it is! I knew it was around here somewhere! I found the paint. It was right there!! Ha ha ha! Silly me. I found it!!! Woohoo!”

Now I just radically changed my whole body and the way I feel, by simply thinking new thoughts and using my body! (hands waving over my head.)

I was now FEELING AS IF I had found the paint!!! I was living it. I was now vibrating on the same frequency as the paint.

Then I said something spontaneously brilliant, “I found the paint, it was in the……”

I paused for a half a second because I was now going to say where I found the paint, but the truth was I did not KNOW because I had not found the paint yet!!!

I was lying to myself!!!!

But hey, I am just playing pretend, make believe, no big deal, just make up a location where I found the paint! Gulp!

I said out loud, “I found the paint in the… washing machine!!!!!”

Laughing, I danced around singing, I found the paint! It worked!

Then I thought, “Okay forget about it, go do something else.”

I walked out of the garage and just for kicks went into the laundry room, I looked inside the washing machine. I laughed at my silliness.

Then I stopped and looked up above the washing machine. I have cabinets. Inside those cabinets is laundry detergent, rags, shoe polish, etc.

I had the impulse to open up the cabinets……………

I opened up the cabinet door and……….. there was the paint!!!

I found the paint!

WHY? Because I found the feeling first!!

Feeling first, manifestation second!

WooHoo!!

* * * * * * * *

THINK, FOCUS, FEEL, ATTRACT!
First, I thought new thoughts. Then I focused on those new thoughts! Then I focused those new thoughts into the FEELING. Then I attracted my desire!

I would have NEVER found the paint if my focus and feeling was on the lack of paint, even though my desire was for the paint!!

I wanted the paint, I wanted it so bad!!! BUT IT wasn’t until I focused on the FEELING of finding the paint and feeling AS IF I had already found the paint that I changed my vibration of attraction and was now in the receiving mode of finding the paint!!

What are you looking for in your life?

What is driving you crazy because it has not manifested yet????

Right now how would you feel if you found it, discovered it, attracted it? How would you feel??? Feel it now by using the simple formula Think, Focus, Feel, Attract!

FIRST you have to deliberately think new thoughts. SECOND you have to focus on those thoughts for at least 2 minutes, 3 times a day. Throw in some guided visualization for fun. THIRD you have to feel those new thoughts!!! Get that feeling going inside your mind, body and soul. Feel the excitement, passion, joy, gratitude and appreciation. FOURTH know you are attracting it to you.

Then celebrate AS IF it’s already done and be happy! Now you are in the receiving mode of all your desires!

Remember, the feeling has to come first, the manifestation comes second!

If you can feel it, you can have it!

Think, Focus, Feel, Attract!

If you get the chance to see Andy live, don’t miss it!  And if you’re in Utah, his brother Mike (of Notes from the Universe fame) is coming to Salt Lake on February 20th!  Love you guys!

Related posts:

1. Guest Post: Wanting a Relationship or Avoiding Single?
2. Guest Post: Eliminating Lip Service
3. Wisdom Nuggets from Mike Dooley

Jeannette, here’s a general LOA question I’ve been struggling with over the last few weeks! 

My minor medical issue is truly minor, but it will involve some outpatient surgery, something that in complete honesty I have very high anxiety about.  This came on the heels of a difficult emotional event with a close family member, plus the unexpected financial need to replace our heating/AC system at a time when things were already tight.
 
How can I get myself back into a place of positive vibration when I’m

1. afraid about my upcoming surgery,
2. worried about money fears, and
3. hurting about my family member all at the same time? 

I fully realize it’s not the events, but my thoughts about them that drive things.  I’m just having a hard time dealing with the number of difficult issues that have cropped up at once, and can feel that I’m in a place of low vibration.
 
Comments?
 
Many thanks Jeannette!!

Yep, I’ve got comments, as I’m sure you all do as well.  See you in the comments section with some helpful suggestions and insights for our fellow creator!

Related posts:

1. How to Get Fired
2. Animals and LOA
3. Q&A: How to Get Happy & Shiny?

How often does a Law of Attraction Coach get to talk to (one of) the most conservative-minded groups in the state of Utah?

Maybe more often than I realize, but this was a big deal for me.  A room full of LOA virgins – how exciting!

I’m used to addressing folks who have some knowledge or interest in deliberate creation, but today was different - and I wanted it to be perfect: high impact and hugely inspiring.

So I put together a customized powerpoint presentation to guide my talk, and emailed the presentation to the appropriate folks before today’s event. 

They requested I save it in an old version of powerpoint to make sure it worked on the laptop that would be connected to the projector. 

I had told them I was NOT tech savvy and not sure I could make my mac work with their projector, so they supplied the laptop.

They just wanted me to bring the presentation saved on one of those stick thingies.  (Whatever they’re really called.)

My technology vibe isn’t fabulous, so I asked Russ to oversee to make sure everything I did was appropriate.  (Okay, I actually asked him to just do it all for me.)  Everything was a go.  Cute purple stick was all I needed to remember to bring.

As I get word that this is the largest turnout the group has ever had (to hear me speak), I get more nervous than I already was.  (Speaking gigs bring that out in me.) 

Yes, I know .. maybe I’ll change that story some day.  This is not that story.

The email and my growing nervousness got me thinking that I better make sure the technology works, since this is a lot of people.

And I know to manage the vibe … I know to shake off that nervousness about technology failing me, but what did I do?  I took all the actions a not-LOA savvy girl would take to make sure it was working: 

• Double checked to make sure I’d saved the right presentation to the stick, and saved it in multiple versions just to ensure at least one would be compatible with the laptop’s powerpoint version. 
• Emailed a copy of the presentation (now saved three different ways) to my gmail account, in case the stick failed and we had internet access in the room.
• Plugged in the stick to make sure the presentations pulled up okay on the computer. 
• When I accidentally twisted the stick a little bit (what is it called??) by bumping it when it was in the portal hole thingy, I pulled it out, called Russ, who told me to relax, then I just snapped it back together, put it back in and tested to make sure it worked yet again.
• Printed out a copy in case there was something I really did need from it.
• Emailed a second copy to the coordinator to make sure she had a copy available, too.

Overkill, you think?

I did remind myself that even if it didn’t work, all was not lost because I could still give a great presentation without the visual aid.  So there was that energy work included.

But I just wanted to make sure the technology worked fine.  And took all the action I could think of to ensure it.

So I arrive with plenty of time to prep, even if something went wrong.  Which it couldn’t possibly, because I’d covered all my bases (if you can call taking tons of action covering bases). 

Still had that little bit of nervousnes about technology flowing in the background, even though it shouldn’t be because I’d done everything a girl could do.  And I set an intention that there not be any porn that gets opened by accident from the stick.

With everything all set, the presentation pulls up fine from the stick to the laptop.  Yay!  No need for any of the emergency backup measures. 

But then the projector won’t project the presentation.  It projects a beautiful green landscape photo, and it shows an icon of the file in the bottom left corner, but that’s all it’s fessin’ up.

Four geeks and 20 minutes later, I called it and conducted my talk without visual aid. 

I joked about how maybe I should have set a stronger intention than just “please don’t let there be any porn on this stick.”  (Which would have been tricky, since I am not a peruser of porn.)

I did have an intention for fun, inspiration and empowerment for the talk, and all signs indicate that was met nicely.

But when Russ asked whether the powerpoint worked, I told him the very thing I was trying to avoid did indeed happen, even though it wasn’t technically my fault.  Or at least not a result of anything I’d done (or not done).

And my sweet boyfriend who pretends not to be paying any attention to this deliberate creation stuff I’m up to, points out that my vibe overruled my actions – just like happens with the electronic thermostat, the tv, the phone, and I’ll stop there before I make this tech vibe any worse than it already is.

I share this ridiculous story as proof, once again, that it is not the action that matters.  It’s the energy behind the actions.

You’d think an LOA Coach might have a handle on that, huh?

And that’s my cue to go love this about myself. 

While I’m at it, I sure do love you, too!  SO nice to be talking with folks who live this stuff day in and day out, much as I enjoyed the fabulous LOA virgins today.

Thanks for letting me tell you about my day, complete with misadventures in manifesting and all.

Related posts:

1. Call to Vibrational Action
2. Q&A: How to Duck A Loved One’s Vibe?
3. Action is Mediocre at Best

But when you’re in the mood to pull a different trick out of your law of attraction hat, consider this one:

Make it an Inside Job

Often when we approach a desire, we think of it as something we want, i.e. something we don’t yet have.  Right? 

It’s like we’re on the outside looking in; saying “I want that” -  as if it were separate from us. 

That perspective signals the Powers That Be that we are without it, and since like attracts like that means we only perpetuate the “withoutness” of it.

To create true vibrational alignment (which is the name of the manifesting game), we’ve got to get on the inside of it.  We’ve got to make it a part of us; to feel it as if it’s already a done deal.

(“Feel it real,” as author Denise Coates might say.)

For example, when I was ready for One of the Ones (that’s what I called the new long term boyfriend I was manifesting), I purposely and deliberately felt like a girl who already had a fabulous keeper.  I smiled and walked and shopped like someone would who was in a long term relationship with One of her Ones.  I felt him here.  Not there, in my future or in my dreams, but right here right now.

I didn’t treat it like something outside of me that I wanted.  I got on the inside of that desire.  I brought it to life now, by feeling it as if it were already reality.  (Three weeks later we met; three years later we’re still having fun.)

Yes, it takes imagination along with a willingness to detach from reality.  But that’s what deliberate creation is all about, and once we understand how powerful it is to manage our vibration, we’ve got huge incentive to do so! 

So this is your manifesting tip of the week: get on the inside of your desire and feel it as if it’s already a done deal.  Whether you use your daydream skills, a pray rain journal, script it out with a friend, etc. -  Universe will hear a very different instruction from you when you treat it like an Inside Job.

Related posts:

1. What Would Make It An “Of Course”?
2. Guest Post: Andy Dooley’s 3 Holes in the Wall
3. Manifesting Friendly Exes

Part of Honi’s rain manifesting included this statement to God: “Master of the universe … I swear by your great name that I am not moving from here until you have mercy on your children.” 

In essence, he gets a bit feisty.

The author who relates this story says Honi didn’t order God to make it rain, but rather he tells Spirit his intent, and very firmly so, which puts conviction in the mix and helps him believe in his own ability to make it rain.

(And indeed, it does rain.  A lot.)

This story reminds me when Tia was manifesting a boyfriend, and she got fed up about no action and finally threw a fit, which is when he showed up.

All this was already on my mind when Dr. G. wrote in response to the Setting Intentions post shared in yesterday’s ezine.  Here’s what the Doc had to say:

“Here’s a contrarian viewpoint on ‘intention.’  Even though Wayne Dyer has popularized the word intention I have always been turned off by all the positive spin put on the word intention.  Remember the old saying “the road to hell is paved with good intentions”?  Most people have good intentions however have a terrible track record for following through.  Joe Vitale says that ‘intentions are for wimps.’

He suggests that we ‘DEMAND from the universe what we want,’ then take massive action.”

And after the Wimpy Words post, one of my favorite Abraham colleagues wrote to say that Hope is actually a very high vibration for her, and she definitely doesn’t consider it wimpy.

So there I was just the other day saying Hope is a wimpy word, and now Doc’s reminding me that Joe Vitale thinks Intent is just as weak and that we’re better off insisting – or demanding – what we want from Universe/God/higher power.

We already know the answer is whatever feels most empowering to us, right?  And that that’s very likely different for each of us, and may vary according to circumstances.

But I am super curious as to how many of you law of attraction savvy people find that demanding in the way that Honi and Tia did, and that Joe Vitale suggests, feels good to you.  And yields results. 

Is there something magical about “stomping our feet”?  Does it add conviction and strengthen our vibrational alignment? 

Or does it have the opposite effect, sending a weird signal to Universe?

I’ve got half a mind to try this out as an experiment.  (Although I can recall one time I used it spontaneously – with a very powerful outcome!)

With that I’m turning this topic over to you all.  Have you gotten feisty before and seen results?  Or does it work better when you Intend – or maybe even Hope?   What are your thoughts?

Related posts:

1. The Art of Setting Intentions
2. Wiping Out Wimpy Words
3. Q&A: How to Live Real Life While Manifesting the Dream?

Cher’s not usually allowed free rein of the house, since she has been known to do bad kitty deeds.  (She’s actually notorious for it, thanks to me.) 

But I couldn’t catch her to return her to the office.

So I opted for taking the leap of faith that she was trustworthy and would behave herself properly while unsupervised.  (Last time I did that it didn’t turn out fabulously well.)

As I walked away from the chair she was crouched behind, I found myself starting a mental tally of the damage she could do.  “Maybe I should put a blanket on that couch; it might be smart to close the bedroom door.”

And I realized these are not the thoughts nor actions of a person who is feeling trust.

Nice catch on not vibing what I thought was.  (Note to self: clean it up!)

Which made me wonder how many other times and on what other occasions I’ve done the same: saying I felt one way but really not coming anywhere close to it.

Sound familiar?

I’ve seen it a handful of times this last week in others, as well.

Like when my sweetheart said he trusted his son to follow through on filing paperwork for the insurance claim, but when it was revealed the forms weren’t sent, Russ wasn’t surprised. 

(If you really trusted someone to do something, you wouldn’t expect the opposite, right?  That was nothing but nice lip service, sweetie.)

Or when one of my clients said he was confident he would get the job offer, and he then spent the week worrying he might not. 

(Confidence doesn’t rendezvous with worry.)

Or when my computer said a really bad thing the other day (so bad I won’t repeat it), and I shut her down to let her get her head together, then hit the restart button and left the room so she could do her happy & good thing in peace (without interference from my nervous vibe). 

But when I approached the office door ten minutes later, I could feel anxiety growing as I wondered whether I would see anything on the screen or not.  (Luckily, I caught the contrary vibe flowing then, too, and detoured myself before coming back an hour later after playtime with foster kitties, completely forgetting I even had a trouble to start with.)

The point being: we can say the words, but if we’re not feeling the feeling, Universe is getting a completely different instruction from us!

And we know how this stuff works – we get what we’re vibrating (i.e. what we’re feeling.)

So, Cher, I’m gonna do a little cleaning up of the vibe right now before I make the rounds. 

Actually, a person who truly trusted her cat was on her best behavior wouldn’t be making any rounds, so scratch that!

And now I invite you to check in on where you might be saying one thing but doing another, cause I kinda got a feeling I’m not alone in this one.  ;)

Would love to hear your experiences of how you catch the contradiction and how you clean it up, as well!

Related posts:

1. Guest Post: Andy Dooley’s 3 Holes in the Wall
2. Monkey Bar Thoughts
3. Never Forget 9/11?

Hi Jeannette,
Our co-worker is quite lazy and inept.  How do I keep from letting this situation into my experience and, yet, make him more accountable and earn his pay?  Any suggestions?

I wrote back suggesting this reader knew more than he gave himself credit for, to which he responded:

I can choose to ignore the situation and give little thought to it, but how does that change his action/inaction…he has to have some measure of  accountability or nothing will get done.

That’s when I realized this topic was worthy of Good Vibe Community attention! 

My short response back outlined a four step formula for manifesting change:

• First we have to feel our feelings or they’ll just get stuck inside. 
• After that, our work is to make some peace with what is. 
• And after that, we start seeing what we like/appreciate about this person/situation. 
• And maybe finish it off with a little imagining what we want.

In most of my client sessions we eventually cover the subject of our influence on those around us.  Most of us aren’t conscious of the effect our energy has on others, but when we become aware of that and manage it deliberately … well, the transformations that take place can seem a little spooky!

I know many would suggest a Byron Katie take on this situation where we not stick our nose in someone else’s business.  And that’s super effective when we can implement it. 

But sometimes someone else’s business affects us in ways we aren’t successful at ignoring, right? 

(Like my neighbor who made death threats against my dogs and boyfriend and plumber, or an HOA member who threatens to sue us as board members, or when we think the boss wants to fire us – and those are just the calls I took while writing this post!  Let’s face it, we’ve all been there.)

I’m turning this one over to you for an in-depth exploration of what to do when we’re feeling challenged by someone in our immediate vicinity. 

When it doesn’t feel good (or seem possible) to walk away or ignore it, what do YOU do to best manage the situation?

Thanks for in advance for your excellent input!  Your real life examples are super helpful learning opportunities for the rest of us.

Related posts:

1. Fine Either Way
2. My Breakup in the Vortex
3. Neighbor’s Gift