I had written about “loving it to lose it” – saying that when we resist extra weight, that’s exactly what we create. Extra weight.

So to lose pounds, the first step is to get out of resistance and (eventually & ideally) into appreciation.

This reader asked how does that instruction jibe with the common LOA knowledge that what you focus on grows?

She shrewdly concluded that according to the law of attraction, whatever we pay attention to is what we get more of, so why wouldn’t paying attention to extra pounds (even in a state of love) just attract more extra pounds?

I suspect she might not be the only person wondering about this seeming contradiction, so I wanted to post here to give others a chance to “weigh in” with their thoughts on the subject.

My personal take on it is that Universe knows what we want (Abraham would say “it’s in your vortex”).  When we find a way to enjoy, appreciate, feel good, and get happy  - or even just drop a little resistance and get to neutral – that’s what allows our desire to manifest.

That’s why loving our bodies “as is” can lead to weight loss.  What I’m focusing on as I love my body as it is, is love for my body. When Universe gets that signal from me, it sends in results/reasons/evidence to match that love.

It does seem contradictory, though, doesn’t it?  ”Love it to lose it.”

There is a trick here, though.  If I’m loving it in order to lose it – that’s like love with an agenda.  And love doesn’t have an agenda.

So you can’t really love it just to lose it.  You love it, and then you lose it.  (Subtle but important distinction, I think.)

It would be like saying to my boyfriend that I love him as long as he does what I want him to.  That’s not love.

I personally know that every time I feel hung up when my body doesn’t look how I prefer, it stems from resistance to how it is. And that resistance stymies any “positive” change.  The fact that I even think of it as “positive” change reveals a judgement, though, doesn’t it?

Turning to you smart creators to offer your thoughts, experiences and insights on this subject.  Thanks in advance, everyone!

Just because you didn’t manifest it “out of the clear blue” without lifting a finger doesn’t mean you’re a failure as a deliberate creator!

Indeed, it just may be that taking action was your path of least resistance.

So don’t hang your head in shame.  It doesn’t make you a bad manifester.  I would actually say quite the opposite!  How you create it doesn’t really matter, does it?

So if you …

• go to the doctor to get better,
• or exercise to lose weight,
• or fill out dozens of applications to get a job,
• or meet your sweetie online rather than having him knock on your door on one magical evening

… lighten up about it.

There’s nothing wrong with “doing something” to make it happen when that action feels inspired and good.

Just wanted to clear that up because we talk a lot here about not doing anything to create effortless success.

Sometimes master manifesters work up a sweat! It’s all good.

What we don’t advocate is taking action without alignment.  But when action is what helps you get aligned, don’t judge, please.

The key is to honor your belief system and your desires mutually.  To the extent you believe in action or enjoy it or feel inspired to it – as my friend Michele Woodward would say, rock on with your bad self!

And as Abraham reminds us, part of the joy of being human is getting our fingers in the clay to mold our lovely lives.  Enjoy it!

It’s a good skill for deliberate creation.

Because when we care more what others think than what our Inner Guidance thinks, the vibe gets kinky.  And that kinky vibe slows the flow of good stuff from our vortex.

I’ve personally found the habit of caring too much what others think is more deeply ingrained than I realized.  Like …

• The other day I was embarrassed when I referenced a scene from Bachelor Pad.  (Yes, I watched.) 
• I wonder if my mailman feels unappreciated when I don’t pick up the mail every day.   (Seriously?!) 
• I wondered if the neighbors thought it weird that I spent 30 minutes petting their cat on their driveway.  (It probably was.)

If I clocked it, I bet I worry or at least consider what someone else thinks as often as men think about sex.  (Studies say that’s a lot.)

So how does one stop giving a rip what others think?  To be less concerned about living up to others’ expectations and instead answer our own call to the vortex?

I turned to three experts for help on this topic:  Abraham, Michele Woodward, and Amy Pearson.

First up, when Michele Woodward addressed Masters of Creation Circle this week, she said that it’s a process to get to that place of caring less what others think, and it’s a process founded on self-love. 

I couldn’t agree more, because when we fully appreciate who we are, and are confident and approving of ourselves, others opinions just don’t weigh as heavily as when we’re filled with doubt or self-loathing.

Michelle said that when she has the sense that someone disapproves of her, she looks for any truth in it.  Example:

“Am I talking too much?  Am I failing to create a reciprocity in this conversation?” 

And if there is something which is true, I accept the knowledge of it as a gift.  But if there’s something in the disapproval which is completely not true, I attribute it to her pain body, figuratively pat her on the head and move on.

While she has compassion for those who live in fear or conflict, she doesn’t carry it for them.  “I have learned not to be a wet sponge, soaking up the emotions of others.  Rather, I am dry-as-a-bone – and I let it all run off me.”

That’s a nice example of what it looks like.  But I notice I can think myself in circles without anyone even saying a word to me.  Like when Andy Dooley joined us at Good Vibe U this week, I found myself wondering what he thought of our LOA party.  Did he like it?  Would he stay?  What did he think?

Lord help me if he ever actually says anything critical to me!

Here’s what Amy Pearson, who offers excellent remedies to Approval Addicts, had to say:

The thing about approval seeking is that it completely disconnects you from yourself so you end up totally stuck. Most of the people I work with have no idea what they even want. They have spent so much time focused externally.  How can you attract what you want when you don’t even know what it is? 

In this post Amy shares five steps for overcoming approval addiction, beginning with mindfulness (notice it), compassion (don’t beat yourself up for it), and courage (it takes guts to be yourself).  Be sure to sign up for Amy’s free email course for approval addicts.

Let’s check with Abe on this subject.  Here’s an exchange between a workshop participant and Abraham about how kids can show us the way to not worry so much what others think:

Guest: I stopped for lunch somewhere and went in.  There was a mother, a father and a beautiful, beautiful, beautiful, beautiful little maybe 2 or 3 year old blonde-hair, blue-eyed girl. 

And she was just being a little girl and she was standing on the chair and the father said, “I TOLD YOU, SIT DOWN, GET OFF THAT CHAIR!”  And the mother said right after, “WHY ARE YOU SO DIFFICULT?”  “WHY ARE YOU SO DIFFICULT?”

So, I had my phone with me, and when I saw that, I was texting my wife that, “I’m gonna help this mother and father transition and take this little girl home.”  (laughter) 

And then, this little girl looked at me like, “I’ll take care of this,” (laughter) stood up on her chair and said, with no anger, complete JOY, said, “I’m not difficult,  I’m not difficult,” sat down, turned towards me, and just looked at me and started LAUGHING! And she wouldn’t stop!  Like, “Everything’s cool here, everything’s good here!”

It was unbelievable!  It was really cool. 

Abraham: So, you and the child, on the same wavelength … having an experience and communicating with one another fully.  And her message to you, and now to the world is, “My parents do not have to behave in a way that is pleasing to me because I got it covered.   I got it covered.  You’re not taking me out of the Vortex.  And she’s saying, “And you, dear new friend who have come along to help me out – we can’t do anything about them.  We can just know what we know.”   (applause)  from Stamford, CT in May 2011

One more from Abe about embracing the habit of not trying to gain others’ approval:

When you really get there, somebody will disapprove of you and it will strike you as funny. It won’t bring you to your knees!

You won’t say, “Oh, oh, oh, what do I need to do differently?” You’ll just say, “Pffffffft! I’m sorry you have a problem with me, but it really isn’t something I can do anything about. This is between you and you.”

And they’ll say, “No it isn’t between me and me, it’s between YOU and me! And you need to be different.”

And you’ll say, “I can’t be different enough, so deal with it!”

Isn’t that liberating? “I can’t be what you need me to be so you can be happy. I’m giving this up! I’m releasing you to your own joy or bondage. And in the process, I’m releasing me. I’m standing on my head no longer to please anyone! I’m tuned in to who I am. And because I’m tuned in to who I am, I am in love with life! And you are SO cute when you are mad!”   Alaska cruise, July 2008

That’s what I want more of.  To not be trapped by caring what others think, but to care more about my own Inner Guidance opinion, and not feel guilty for it. 

Here’s to being able to say to the next person who is upset that we don’t care what they think: “You are SO cute when you’re mad!”

Harder than doing something, it turns out.

At least for me.

When coach Lisa Hayes prescribed three days of doing nothing other than just being with myself, I thought that wouldn’t be too far off from how I already did life.

Cinchy.

Until I had to say goodbye to everyone on facebook.  And couldn’t read or post at GVU.  Or write or respond here.  Or check emails.

Holy hannah, that’s unplugged!

I also ignored the phone and doorbell (except when Michele Woodward called – I mean, come on, I’m not Superwoman), and the only appointment I made was for a full body massage, which seemed appropriate for the self-connection intention.

But the other hurdles were managing strong inclinations to clean, organize, read, watch tv, exercise, garden, play with the dogs, brush the cats, … anything but sit quietly with myself.

Apparently I’m more outwardly focused than I realized.

Which I wouldn’t have guessed.  I mean, I’m the one who makes fun of my boyfriend for habits of always plugging into to something in order to avoid the “quiet.”  He doesn’t drive in the car without music, he prefers a tv on in the background, he doesn’t know how to slow his own brain to get to sleep at night and flat out refuses to try meditating.

In my opinion, my sweetie is a bit of a wreck on that point – but I’m good at this.  I can spend hours on end just by myself, doing nothing.

Or so I thought.

Doing nothing isn’t as easy as it sounds.

Doing nothing is not a vacation.  It’s not goofing off.  It’s not “following your feel good.”  bsscorpio8 says that “although ‘doing nothing’ may sound simple,it actually requires discipline” for activity-obsessed Americans.

But Americans aren’t holding the market on this goal oriented living.  Sid at Flow Psychology observes that many cultures consider doing nothing to be lazy and irresponsible.

So why is it worth practicing?

Personally, I wanted to be as good at being with Me as I am at being with others.  I wanted to master the art of presence.  I wanted to better embrace the truth of myself.

(Plus my coach told me to.)

But the benefits of doing nothing are widespread, including (click the links for great articles):

• making room for something new
• improving your health
• sparking your creativity
• supercharging your manifesting
• creating peace of mind and raise healthier, independent children
• increasing productivity (Alex says: “The less you do, the more you want to do.”  Paradoxical, but true, I found.)
• relieving stress
• allowing for reflection

(Regarding the importance of reflection and creativity, on a recent episode of Project Runway a designer complained that even while she knew she was going down the wrong path with a particular dress she was working on, because of the time constraints of the challenge she never “came up for air” to realize it, and to reassess and redirect.  That’s one thing when you’re screwing up your dress on reality tv; it’s another when you’re doing it to your life.)

More arguments for practicing nothing: Dr. Adizes believes doing nothing is the prerequisite for change.  Joann Davis writes that “Our souls need time to think, dream, and reflect. We benefit from doing nothing, from going out to play, from giving from the heart and spending time in nature.”

Doing nothing for three days also helped me truly know what I missed (writing, creating) and what I didn’t (obsessive facebook checkins, jumping from one activity to another).

I think doing nothing works best when you do nothing without an agenda – otherwise you’re actually probably doing something after all.  But regardless of how or why you play with it, I highly recommend you do, because there’s something very powerful about getting quiet, getting to know yourself, and making some extra room in your mind and your life.

I’ll close with a quote from the very wise Pooh:

“Don’t underestimate the value of Doing Nothing, of just going along, listening to all the things you can’t hear, and not bothering.”

When your home has areas that aren’t working (everyone has them…they’re your clutter zones or ‘touchy areas’ or the spaces that cause you the most stress or discomfort or embarrassment), I guarantee you that you have corresponding areas in your life that aren’t working so well, either.

When you start changing your home, room by room, you automatically make corresponding changes in the rest of your life as well.

Your home is where you start your day.

It’s where you end your day.

For many of you, it’s also where you spend your day…you work from home, you write, you coach, you create.

And your home is much, much more than simply a place to live.

Your home reflects everything about you.

And right now, your home is either supporting you fully, being a place that inspires and motivates and nurtures you, or it is dragging you down, one pile or irritation or frustration after another.

To start the process of changing your space:

Step 1. Start by noticing the hot spots in your home. Which areas do you dread, avoid, or feel anxiety about?

Step 2: Next, imagine a lovely place in your mind. Think of a space, either indoor or outdoor, that makes your heart sing. It might be a place you’ve visited, or seen in a magazine, or dreamed about.

Step 3: Come up with three words that describe the essence of that place, or how you feel when you imagine that place.

Step 4: Make one change in your hottest spot in your home that will bring in all three of your new essence words. For example, you might bring in an item to decorate that space that conveys all three essence words.

Step 5: Get rid of something in that same space that has been creating the anxious or unpleasant feeling for you.

And as you gently and lovingly make one small change in your space, start to notice what starts shifting in other areas of your life. It really helps to keep a notebook or journal…when you start tracking the shifts, you’ll start noticing that they are happening everywhere. I call it the ‘ripple effect’ of creating space.

In the words of Martha Beck, “you’ll find ‘butterfly effect’ changes in the rest of your life, not just in your decor.”

See? Easy as that.

Manifest change in your life by simply changing your space.

Sue Rasmussen is a Master Certified Coach, writer, and speaker who has always been fascinated by the connection between clutter, disorganization, and the way we arrange our environment with deeply personal and spiritual issues that go far beyond our ‘stuff.’ She believes that our exterior world is simply a mirror of what is going on inside us…a reflection of what we believe about ourselves, our lives, and the level of abundance, joy, and ease we give ourselves permission to experience.

Visit Sue’s website at www.unclutter-organize-transform.com for articles, tips, and upcoming events.

It makes me giggle out loud even thinking about it.  But it’s probably a misguided intention, truth be told.

Here’s why:

I’ve been putting a spell on my belly.  It goes like this:

“You are the flat belly of a 22 year old co-ed who majored in volleyball.”  (I’m smiling again just typing it!)

I repeat it three times while rubbing said belly and then finish with three little pats and the words “You know what to do.”

I told you it was ridiculous!

But it makes me laugh and it makes me trust my belly and I will also say – I am looking better than otherwise expected in these little summer tanks!  (Cute little belly, you!)

However, if I’ve learned anything in my ups and downs as a deliberate creator, it’s that we don’t really want to weigh a certain amount or be a certain size or look a certain way.

What we want is to love and feel good about ourselves.  That’s what we’re REALLY seeking when we start a new diet or exercise plan or – ahem – belly spell.

I know that.  And yet when Michele Woodward recently suggested that focusing on weight loss seemed very “social self” it was as if someone rang a big wake up bell inside my head.

Duh!!

In case you’re not familiar with the lingo, “social self” is somewhat of a four letter word in Martha Beck world.  Here it is from Martha herself which I lifted from Pam’s excellent post on the topic:

The social self is the part of you that developed in response to pressures from the people around you, including everyone from your family to your first love to the pope. As the most socially dependent of mammals, human babies are born knowing that their very survival depends on the goodwill of the grown-ups around them.  Because of this, we’re all literally designed to please others.

For example, many of our smiles are based on social convention.  When you smile but don’t mean it, that’s your social self in action.  When you say yes but mean no (or vice versa), that’s likely your social self in charge.

So far so good?

Our essential self, on the other hand, is what Abraham might call our Inner Being.  It’s the core of who we really are, and it is sourced from ultimate and pure divine love.

Okay, so that takes me back to Michele and her brilliant observation.

What do you think YOUR essential self (aka Inner Being) thinks you should weigh?  Or look like?

I’ve got a funny feeling my belly spell didn’t come from my Essential Self or Inner Being.  I think it came from the part of me that wants to look good to others.

After all, what if I didn’t know what “looked good”? What if my social self grew up in a culture where round bellies were exalted? Would I be “spelling it away” then?

I’m pretty sure not.

I mean, think of the social conditioning required to make this seem like a good idea: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Neck_ring

So I may very well get the flat belly of a 22 year old co-ed who majored in volleyball, but I will not be a true winner as long as I’m using my manifesting prowess to satisfy my Social Self.

Know what I mean?  Michele does.

(and she finally wrote on the topic! Check it out at Michele’s blog.)

But before you go, I’d love if you shared your thoughts on the subject!

In a 60 Minutes interview with Lady Gaga Anderson Cooper says part of the appeal of Lady Gaga’s work is not just her music, but also her uplifting mantras of self empowerment and self acceptance.

Gaga told Cooper she believes we all have the “freedom to pull the superstar out” of ourselves that we were born to be.

It seems she’s good at practicing what she preaches.  In an earlier interview (on the record with fuse), she revealed her process of using mantras to bring her dream to life.  Here are the words she shared:

‘Music is my life.  The fame is inside of me. I am going to make a number one record with number one hits.’

And it’s not yet; it’s a lie.  You’re saying a lie, over and over again.  And then one day, the lie is true.

One of the ways Gaga released her insecurities was by changing her name from Stefani Germanotta to Lady Gaga.  She said the new name freed her to become a superstar by getting rid of massive insecurities associated with her old identity.

(Harrison Klein would likely approve of this bold step to adopt a new identity!)

Plus she titled her debut album “The Fame.”  Which kind of reminds me of Kid Rock releasing his song about “going platinum” long before he was anywhere near achieving that kind of success.

But Gaga’s most telling signs of deliberate creation were revealed in this Costco Connection interview:

What I’ve learned is that you really don’t need to be a celebrity or have money or have the paparazzi following you around to be famous. Me and my friends just simply declared fame on our own … It was our confidence and our conviction and our abilities … and having that be in every fiber of our being.

In response to whether she ever felt despair about her career, she said:

Of course … but a record deal doesn’t make you an artist; you make yourself an artist. If you only believe that you’re an artist when you have a big advance in your pocket and a single coming out, I would say that’s quite soulless. You have to have a sense of your own greatness and your own ability from a very deep place inside you.

She’s also reported to visualize her concert performance before she takes the stage, but my favorite inspiration from Lady Gaga might actually be when she played a bit of her soon to be released next song for Anderson Cooper:

Here’s this song playing that no one’s ever heard, that she doesn’t have any idea how it will be received, but she treats it like it’s a hit already.  She dances to it like everyone knows and loves it.  (Which soon proved to be true.)

Gaga made her fame and fortune by believing in it and herself; by investing the energy of success in her work, and loving her material before anyone else did.

I can’t imagine a more powerful example of deliberate creation than that.

Anyone else got any examples or inspirations from Lady Gaga to share?

I have a reputation for chasing bunnies. Who can resist their fluffy white fur, cute pink noses and long floppy ears? I, for one, am a sucker for all things furry and cute. And therein lies the problem: I don’t want to have a reputation for chasing bunnies. The implication is that, from the outside looking in, I always appear to be going in different directions, trying something new, testing another brilliant idea.

Despite the fact that I really do love chasing bunnies, on a subconscious level I’ve been trying to deny my inner bunny chaser.

Of course, that which we resist only causes it to persist. And yet I was determined to tame my bunny chasing tendencies. In my mind, a bunny chaser was someone who’s scattered, unfocused, indecisive and, in my case, all of the above. And, as Abraham says, a belief is a thought we keep thinking, and the thought that bunny chasers are scattered, unfocused and indecisive eventually became a belief that bunny chasers were flawed; that one shouldn’t be doing so many things, going in different (albeit exciting) directions, trying something new, testing another great idea.

Because, I believed that’s not what successful people do.

It hadn’t ever occurred to me to test that theory. All the while, those darn bunnies just kept on comin’. I would sometimes look the other way, pretending not to see them, but that just made them bigger and cuter. The more I would try to resist the bunnies, the more they would taunt me from afar. I couldn’t resist. At least not for long.

What surprised me were all the successes I kept having in my life, despite my bunny chasing disorder.  It didn’t make sense. I figured if I could do all this with BCD, imagine what I could do without it. But no matter how I tried, I couldn’t shake those darling little fur balls. They were everywhere. And they always looked so sad when I ran the other way.

I continued to hold onto the belief that successful people didn’t chase bunnies. I figured my accomplishments were achieved despite my being a bunny chaser; that if not for my BCD, I would be able to do so much more. Boy, did I have it backwards.

My bunny-chasing flaw came up in a conversation I was having with my BFF, Jeannette Maw. After our little pow-wow, Jeannette became more than just my BFF – she was promoted to SWWITU: smartest, wisest woman in the universe. Here’s a snippet of our little chat…

SWWITU: How’s it goin’ my dear BFF? (Okay, this is not a verbatim transcript).

Me: Well, I was wondering if you can use your amazing superpowers to help me overcome my bunny chasing flaw.

SWWITU: Why is bunny chasing a flaw? (Oh, I knew that question was coming, so I prepared a fantastic answer).

Me: Because it just is. So there.

SWWITU: Hmmm. But bunnies are so cute.

Me: I knew you would say that, too. But bunnies, despite their cuteness, are keeping me distracted, unfocused and indecisive. They’re holding me back from accomplishing things. They keep showing up, all cute and furry and happy and fun. Please make them stop. They’re ruining my life.

SWWITU: The way I see it (this would be her x-ray vision superpower) you have already accomplished many things.

Me: But think of how much more I could do if all those cute-little-furry-fun bunnies weren’t getting in my way, holding me back by keeping me distracted from what I’m supposed to be doing.

SWWITU: Maybe it’s because you’re a bunny chaser that you’ve accomplished so many things already.

Me: Huh?

SWWITU: Well, it seems you have a limiting belief that chasing bunnies is holding you back; that you can’t be all that you can be unless you can figure out how not to be a bunny chaser. I’m suggesting that you could spend your whole life chasing bunnies and have a blast doing it. In fact, it seems that’s exactly what you are doing, except you haven’t yet connected those bunnies, er… I mean dots. The bunnies aren’t the problem. It’s your thinking that’s the problem.

At this point, and I’m not making this up or resorting to hyperbole to try to make a point, the skies opened up and a million—make that a billion– more bunnies fell from above. They were all the bunnies I had tried to chase away over the years. They had been set free by my BFF and SWWITU, Jeannette “Goosebumps” Maw. Not only did she get me to turn this ship around, she had me turn it on a dime.

And that’s how I dropped an old belief and picked up a new one, in the blink of an eye. Instead of thinking that the bunnies were holding me back, I realized that the bunnies were trying to show me the way. There’s so much more I can do with the bunnies than without them. Trying not to focus on the bunnies was futile. I needed to set an intention to pay attention to the bunnies, with no tension.

What happened next surprised me. I stopped worrying about the bunnies altogether. Instead, I honored the bunnies by not chasing them.

I sat back and waited for them to come to me.

And that is how I embraced my inner bunny chaser.

Lin Eleoff, a.k.a. The Worst Mother, would like to thank all of the bunnies that have come into her life, leading her to a successful career in television news broadcasting, then on to law school, all while having four bunnies of her own.  More recently the bunny tracks have led her to a career in coaching and mentoring women and girls, writing and illustrating for her blog, and learning how not to burn dinner in her new crock pot.

When we find ways to feel good, we create the vibrational alignment that ushers in the good stuff we’ve been wanting.

The challenge we sometimes face when it comes to feeling good is taking a measurement of reality.

Like balancing the checkbook.  Or stepping on the scale.  Or listening to voice mails for the message we’ve been waiting for.

Sometimes that measurement – or score – supports our feel good vibe; often it doesn’t.

So what’s a deliberate creator to do?  Never again consult something that might jeopardize our fantasy of things getting better?

(I personally don’t think that’s a bad idea!)

But Abraham’s advice is simply not to take score too soon.

Earlier this week someone asked what to do when she’s been feeling good consistently and then steps on the scale to find that nothing has changed.

I’d reminded her the importance of self-love and self-appreciation for weight loss, and asked whether she would weigh someone she loved; whether her feelings about them would be dependent on what the scale reported.  Which was a ridiculous thought – of course we don’t condition our love on our sweetheart’s weight.  Why then would it be any different for us?

What should she be measuring then? she wanted to know.  The inches with a tape measure?  Or the fit of old clothes?

No, none of that!

“If you have to measure something, measure how you feel.”

Because that’s all that matters.

When the goal is simply to feel good, taking score loses importance.  But if you insist on marking progress (which many say since we get what we focus on, measuring progress is a good idea), measure what really matters: your vibration.

If I felt better marking progress by measuring the vibe, I’d do it with an eye toward feeling better.

So if I’m feeling like 7 on the ten point scale, what would take me to 7.5?  More comfortable clothes?  If that one “ugh” appointment wasn’t on the books?  If it was movie night?

Incorporate your answers into your day.

Getting caught up in “what is” is easy to do, so learning the habit of focusing on what you’re creating rather than what you’ve already created is super helpful.

Having said that, there are times when I do take stock.  I look at the big money picture a couple times a year; I occasionally look up GVU and blog stats for fun.  But only if it is for fun, not out of need or worry.

There are two conditions I require be present before taking score:

• I’m feeling pretty freakin’ good (aka In The Vortex, to you Abers) and
• I have good reason to believe I’ll like what I see.

Which is why I don’t know what I weigh right now but do know my calves are looking fabulous; I’m not sure how the stocks have done but know the gold account is up 30%; I don’t know how many unread emails I have, but know there’s one from Frank Butterfield suggesting a joint venture with Communion of Light that really lights me up.  I have no idea how many times I’ve been broken up with, but I remember the really nice first kisses.

Focusing on what we know feels good sets us up for success.

And focusing on what matters keeps us on good track.

The contrast will work its way in whenever it does, and learning to manage it by taking the dip then keeping an eye towards what does feel good is powerful deliberate creation.

My advice?  Pay attention to what you’re measuring and whether it’s serving your vibe or not.  The “How do I feel right now?” and “What would feel even better?” questions serve well.  And …

If it’s a score you absolutely have to take, find a way to feel good (or at least better) about it beforehand.

1. Intend you’ll like what you see
2. Think of the reasons to believe it’ll be good news, and above all
3. Remind yourself that how you feel isn’t dependent on what it says.

When you get conscious about managing your energy, you can’t help but make good progress toward your dreams come true.

Here it is in her words:

One question I’m always confused about is this: If there is a specific man I want to date/have in my life, can I use LOA to have him?

I met this really great guy, and I think we’d be a good match. But how can I get my energies to flow to attract him to me? The only connection I have to him is his sister (who adores him and thinks we’d be a good match, too).

This question comes up so often in my coaching practice that it – by itself – could keep me in business.   Let’s cover the ins and outs here as to whether it’s possible to attract a particular person into our love life.

Thanks in advance for your input, everyone!

Update: one of our fabulous commenters (M.) posted this video that many are finding helpful on this topic:

Just wanted to make sure everyone who was interested in this topic had a chance to see it.

This one is super juicy, too. (Thanks, Kellie!)