(For those who aren’t familiar, Seth is a heavy hitter and leading edge thinker in the business world, not traditionally known for sharing deliberate creation tips!)

If you ever wondered how to share LOA principles with a traditional audience (read: without sounding wacky to someone who thinks LOA is woo wooey), Seth does it beautifully here.

In this piece, Seth suggests that our performance obsessed society causes us to focus on everything that’s not going perfect.  He says we’d be much better served by answering the “what’s up?” question literally with what’s going right.

As Seth writes, “Highlighting what’s working helps you make that happen more often.”

Abraham has long suggested we create a new habit of initiating conversation, where instead of asking each other how it’s going, and thus reinforcing the reality we’ve already created, or giving ourselves a cue to answer honestly when the truth isn’t necessarily what we want more of, instead we share what we’re looking forward to next.

The habit of answering what fun stuff we’re cooking up keeps our focus on where we’re going rather than where we’ve been.

In fact, here’s Abe on why not to focus on the past:

(You can’t keep up with who you really are when you’re thinking about what happened before.  ”You are forward looking beings.”)

So one of the best ways we can keep up with the vibrational reality we’ve created (i.e. “get what we want”) is to keep our attention on what’s going right, what we’re looking forward to next, and knowing the power of that focus.

I’d like to hear from you deliberate creators how you greet and answer others.

Have you given up the “How’s it going?” question for one that better prompts others to find a more helpful focus?

And how do you respond when you get the question about how you’re doing?  Do you answer as expected, or have you found a way to focus ton the future without sounding wacky?

I’d love to hear what you’re practicing out and about in the “real” world!

Related posts:

1. How Simple Is It?
2. Quick Ticket to Your Vortex
3. What Does It Look Like?

It’s a big deal.

But when Alice sees the enormously intimidating Jabberwocky, she says, “This is impossible.”

Mad Hatter replies, “Only if you believe it is.”

Alice then recalls that sometimes she “believes in as many as six impossible things before breakfast.” (A habit she learned from dad.)

Hatter replies, “That is an excellent practice.”  And suggests it’s time to focus on the Jabberwocky!

As the ferocious creature approaches, Alice lifts her sword and begins a recitation that deliberate creators would do well to note.

She says out loud to herself, eyes fixed on her impossible goal ahead:

“Six impossible things.  Count them, Alice.

“One.  There’s a potion that can make you shrink.
“Two.  A cake that can make you grow.
“Three.  Animals can talk.”

Jabberwocky slams Alice to the ground with a slice of its enormous tail.

Undeterred, Alice continues her recital as she picks herself off the ground.

“Four.  Cats can disappear.
“Five.  There’s a place called Wonderland.

* * * Spoiler alert! If you haven’t already seen this delightfully dark show, come back later. * * *

Alice finishes her powerful impossible recital with:

“Six.  I can slay the jabberwocky.”

Which is exactly what she does.

Alice draws from the impossible things she’s already known to be true, in order to accomplish the next impossible thing required of her.

I have a couple of heroes who achieved the impossible in their day (Florence Scovel-Shinn, Beatrix Potter, Pollyanna, Ellen Ripley, Joan Jett, etc.).

But Tim Burton’s Alice from Wonderland is my newest role model.

When everyone is telling her what must happen, Alice says with conviction, “This is my dream. I’ll decide where it goes from here. I make the path.”

She returns to her old world to make the difficult decisions and do the impossible things in her real life: saying no to the marriage proposal she was supposed to say yes to, speaking her mind to a couple of ornery relatives, and leaving the party she had no desire to be at.

Like all good happy endings, Alice’s forthright attitude catches the attention of the successful businessman who funds her adventurous trading trip to China.

Here’s to all of us being just as deliberate and brave as Alice when it comes to achieving our own impossible things.

(And you know I want to hear what your “impossible made possible” things are!  Share below if you want to play along.)

Related posts:

1. 25 Random Things – LOA Style
2. Good Old Affirmations
3. The Michael Scott Sabotage: How to Spoil Your Success LOA Style

Saturday night my sweetie* came home from the first day of a weekend golf tournament feeling anxious.

Not because his game sucked that day, but because it was just the opposite.

He played well enough to be in the hunt for the win, and thus knew it was shaping up to play out like every other high pressure tournament of his where:

He does great in the beginning; and the better he does, the more he chokes.

Case in point is last month’s spring tournament, where he handed over a two stroke lead due to his complete and pure choking the last two holes of the game.

For those international readers not familiar with this slang term, choking is defined as: “to become too tense or nervous to perform well.”

The term may have originated from when women accused as witches were forced to swallow a communion wafer as a test.  To choke on the wafer (which, considering the stakes, wouldn’t be surprising) was to fail the test.

Here’s an entertaining list of famous chokes which I don’t recommend reading.

Anyway, Russ recounted several recent stories of his typical “fade out.”  In unconscious rehearsal for another one.

He said his golf god and mentor, Rick G., told him he needed to get his head straight if he expected to take home the titles he was capable of winning.

I agreed!

And even knowing he treats my suggestions as a joke (I can still hear him laughing about “making friends with the tree” and rolling his eyes at the “I am a good putter!” mantra I advised) – despite that, I wasn’t deterred in sharing my tip for bringing home this win.

Since it was the pressure of being so close to winning that was messing up his game, I asked when he played his best golf.

He thought for a second and quickly responded, “At work.”

(Yes, he gets to play golf at work.  Rough life, I know.)

They have a work league  and the other day someone introduced him as “the best golfer in our league.”

Which is probably accurate, much because playing with these guys doesn’t matter all that much.  There are no sought after titles or shiny trophies or big pots at stake.  But there is some fun competition for bragging rights.  No big deal.

So I suggested he pretend he’s just golfing for work, while he was playing the second day at this tournament.

“When you feel pressure creeping in just say to yourself, ‘It’s just another day at work.  No one cares.  It’s just the work league.’”

He was polite enough not to roll his eyes.

To bring the point home, I told him my stories about:

• when I have a big audience on a call I pretend it’s a small one to not get freaked out.
• I shared about how when one of the animals is at the vet getting a serious test and I’m anxious about the results, I pretend the vet’s already called saying, “Everything’s fine.”
• and how when I’m on a date with a totally hot guy I pretend it’s already a given that he wants to see me again.  (Okay, I didn’t tell him about that one, but I thought it.)

It makes a difference in the vibe to play this pretending game.  Even though it’s totally made up.

So without making too much fun of me off he went to play day two, positioned in fifth place after first day standings.

It would require some good golf to pull off that win.

Which is exactly what he did!

He came home with a lovely trophy and a big smile, shooting a 69 to win three strokes ahead of the runner up.

He talked about how on the fourth hole where he duck-hooked it the first day to miss the green by 20 yards – this time he “stuck it three feet.”  From bogey on Saturday to birdie on Sunday.  (Whatever all that means.  All I understood was that it was a nice comeback.)

I asked what made the difference.

He said he slowed his game down and repeated to himself over and over when he started feeling tense, “work league, work league, work league.”  He laughed as he told me about it.

I was incredulous.  My sweetie?!  Listened and applied?!  Woo Hoo!!

That’s the true miracle here in this story - don’t give up on our stubborn sweeties. 

But the real reason I share this story – besides that Nancy suggested it would make a good blog post after she read about it at GVU – is to point out how simple it can be to turn things around.

In the words of my sweetie (from an email to his son):

I had a completely different mindset on Sunday and tried to relax and think of it as just another work match, where I am considered the best player in the league.  It worked – credit goes to Jeannette who gave me the idea on the new thought process.  I also slowed everything and tried to be more patient.

Ahhhh.

My work here is done. 

And it’s also where Nancy and Laura’s work begins.

Starting Monday June 14th these two amazing LOA coaches are spending six full weeks at Good Vibe University leading Shift Happens: Consciously Creating New Thought Patterns.

They’re drawing on work by Max Maltz and Dan Kennedy to cover:

• How your self-image dictates what you attract into your life
• De-hypnotizing yourself from beliefs that hold you back
• Why willpower fails and how to use relaxation to succeed
• How to give your subconscious mind instructions to overcome obstacles to your desires
• Awakening the automatic success mechanism within you
• The role of imagination in manifesting success
• How to acquire the habit of happiness
• and how to avoid accidentally activating your automatic failure mechanism

The 6 week Shift Happens: Consciously Creating New Thought Patterns class with Laura Gevanter and Nancy Barry-Jansson includes  access to live weekly Skype calls, recordings, class materials and a private forum for $199.

Unless you’re an annual member of Good Vibe U, in which case you get in free.  How’s that for membership having its benefits?!

But they do have limited seats for this (23 to be exact), so if you’re interested visit Nancy’s page for details on joining.

* – and for those who are scratching their head in confusion because you thought I was boyfriend-less after the breakup in March, you’re right.  Russ is my most recent ex-boyfriend with whom I am having more fun than ever, after committing to a breakup in the vortex.  It really does just get better and better.

Anyway, I’ll see 22 of you at GVU next Monday for Nancy and Laura’s launch of Shift Happens!

Related posts:

1. Feel It First, Then It Happens
2. Power of Not Knowing How
3. It’s Just Bad Luck

1. Leverage details but don’t attach to them
Much of Mike’s material encourages deliberate creators to focus on specific details of the end result we’re manifesting. 

But he makes an important distinction in that we don’t focus on those details in order to create those particular results.  Rather we just use them to get in the feeling of what we want.  That’s the only way those details are helpful. 

In Mike’s words, “The details are visualized to get you excited about your end results, not to be your end results.”

If we get hung up on a particular job, or person, or weight, that’s when the details don’t serve us.  But we can imagine those details since they’re often helpful for creating the feeling state of what we want.  Just don’t lose sight of the big picture.

2. Things will still look weird
Evidence of progress toward our success is often easy to miss.  Mike specifically said, “… the miracles of progress are usually invisible.”

So you can’t really say, “It isn’t happening.”  Because just like on a cross country road trip – you could be 24 hours away from your final destination, and things could still look really weird.  Doesn’t mean you’re not almost there.

So don’t worry if things aren’t looking like you thought they would.  It doesn’t mean you’re not making progress.

3. Why believe in limiting beliefs?

That wasn’t exactly the way Mike said it, but it was clear he does not invest much (if any) time exploring and resolving internal limiting beliefs.

Instead Mike believes that by taking action you automatically navigate around limiting beliefs.

I sure haven’t practiced that personally, but I’m willing to play with that idea!

There’s actually lots more to share with you, but I’ll save it for later! 

(If you’re interested in getting your hands on Mike’s material directly, here’s an affiliate link for that.)

In the meantime, I’d love to hear your thoughts on anything here that sparks your interest!

Related posts:

1. Limiting Belief or Focusing Weakness?
2. Dog Whisperer Wisdom for Manifesters
3. Guest Post: Andy Dooley’s 3 Holes in the Wall

Our very own Self Help Goddess shares her recent breakthrough about manifesting love and romance in her life. 

It’s a timely topic with Valentine’s Day right around the corner, so here’s Mary on manifesting relationships:

With February 14th approaching, I was thinking about love and romance.  As I contemplated the idea of relationships (I’m not currently in one), this thought occurred to me:

Am I am looking for a relationship right now to reap the benefits of being in a partnership, or to avoid being single? 

The question hit me like a ton of bricks!  The distinction is subtle, but important.

When most people think about relationships, they think of spending time with their partner, having someone to share their life with, being able to share their innermost fears and desires with a trusted companion, etc.  And sure, I would love to have all those things! 

For me, though, I think that up until now in my life the real motivation to be in a relationship has had less to do with sharing my love for someone and more to do with resisting being alone. 

And we all know that “whatever you resist, persists.”

I spend so much time focused on “not being alone” that I actually end up creating the experience I don’t want: that of being alone!  The men I attract into my life are either unappealing to me or unwilling/incapable of commitment, so I just end up feeling alone (the very thing I was trying to avoid in the first place). 

I’ve been beating my head against a wall trying to figure out why this has been my experience, but now I can see it’s the result of where I’ve been putting my focus: I’ve been focusing on not being alone versus focusing on the experience I want: a loving, fulfilling relationship! 

This got me thinking about how many of us spend time moving away from something we don’t want versus moving towards something we do want.  It can apply to money, weight loss, career success, romance, anything! 

In fact, I think it’s just in our DNA to recognize situations we don’t want to be in and avoid them at all costs.  For example, our ancestors had to constantly be on the lookout for wild animals and know how to escape if they were confronted with one in the wild!

But while it may seem like focusing on things you don’t want to create is beneficial because we think it will help us steer clear of them, the law of attraction dictates that we get more of whatever we’re focused on. 

Therefore, even if your attention is on avoiding or resisting a particular circumstance, you’ll just end up getting even more of it because you’re still focused on it! 

Many people are constantly focused on money and wonder why it’s not appearing more abundantly in their lives.  In essence, they’re trying to avoid the experience of not having enough money.  If you’re focused on the lack of money, however, or on how you don’t have as much as you’d like, then it’s that experience of not having as much as you’d like that gets created over and over again.  

In my situation, the constant preoccupation with resisting being alone is just leading to more of the same, being or feeling alone.

So, what to do if this phenomenon resonates with you? 

1. Know that whatever you spend the majority of your time focusing on is what gets produced in your life.  Even if you are focused on moving away from something, you are still focused on it!  If you notice your attention is on something you don’t want, shift your thoughts to what you DO want.  You might have to say out loud to yourself, “That’s not what I want!  What I do want is….”  You can literally take control of your thoughts and steer them in a new direction, just as if you were captain of a ship.
2. Try feeling love and compassion for that part of yourself you’re trying to avoid.  In my case, it’s the experience of being alone or single.  Can I just accept that part of myself, and love it exactly as it is?  Can I befriend it and even embrace it?  In the money example, try flowing unconditional love and acceptance to the part of yourself that feels poor or without money.  This helps release the resistance you feel towards a particular situation or circumstance in your life. 

By resisting something you are actually keeping your attention on it, which keeps the situation squarely in place.  Whatever you are focused on is what you attract, whether positive or negative. 

As you release resistance towards a situation you’ve been avoiding, don’t be surprised if suddenly whatever you were wishing for rushes into your life.  Since you’ve made peace with the situation and aren’t spending all your time giving it attention, you’ll begin focusing on actually having the thing you desire in your life. 

Once that happens, it’s only a matter of time before you manifest your dreams and desires right before your eyes!

Mary is known online as the Self Help Goddess because she loves finding, reading, and reviewing the best self help books and products on the market to help others create their ideal lives.  Visit her at www.selfhelpgoddess.com or on Twitter as @SelfHelpGoddess.

Nice observation and insight, Self Help Goddess!  Thanks for sharing it with us here!

Related posts:

1. Guest Post: Andy Dooley’s 3 Holes in the Wall
2. Guest Post: Eliminating Lip Service
3. Guest Post: Kim Falconer (Astro Mojo)

“I drilled three, one-inch holes in my wall and they are all in the wrong places!”

“Holy hell!”

Here’s a story of how my simple formula, THINK, FOCUS, FEEL, ATTRACT saved the day!

I was installing new shelves in my home office. A destroy-it yourself project. I mean, do-it yourself project!

Look out! I’m a man on a mission with power tools!!! Arrrrrrrrr!

DeWALT cordless drill 8.9 turbo, power saw, power vacuum, my nail gun and cement mixer!

I have 3 holes in my wall that need to be spackled and painted before I can finish installing my new shelves. Holy hell!

I was standing in my garage looking around… I find the spackling.

YES!

Now, where is the touch up paint????

I am looking everywhere, high and low, left and right! I even looked in my underwear drawer! Whoa, can’t tell you what I found there!

I am thinking to myself, “I know I have touch up paint”.  “I know I have touch up paint.”

“WHERE is it????”

Shaking the cordless drill to the paint Gods in the sky!!!! “I can’t find it! I can’t find it! I can’t find it! I can’t find it!”

Ugh, frustration!!

This means I have to go to the paint store? I don’t have time! But I have to fix these holes before I can install the shelves!

Wait a MINUTE!!!!! My vibration of attraction is way off. I am not in the receiving mode of my beloved paint!

Okay, let’s look at my situation. What am I doing wrong? Duh!!!!

Standing in my garage saying, “I can’t find it! Where is it? I can’t find it? I have looked everywhere!”

I am more focused on the lack of it, rather than the presence of it!

I am focused on what I don’t want, instead of what I do want.

I want the paint but I keep saying to myself over and over. I can’t find it, where is it? I know it’s around here somewhere, I can’t find it!

With my thoughts and focus on, “I can’t find it”, I now begin to FEEL the impossibility of finding it!!!

How I feel is how I attract!

Even though I want the paint, even though I visualize myself painting my closet. I am still so focused on how I can NOT find the paint, that I am NOW vibrating at a frequency that will not allow me to find the paint. No matter how hard I try!

I looked everywhere and could not find it! It’s gone!

KABOOM – FLASH OF LIGHTING! Suddenly I heard a voice inside my head! (Celestial music in the background)

“If you want to find the paint you have to start feeling like you have already found it!!!!!!!”

Whoa, dude! I slowly put down the cordless drill!

At first I could not find that feeling anywhere, because I was frustrated and starting to get angry!

The “feeling” of finding the paint was no where to be found!

This is where I used my THINK, FOCUS, FEEL, ATTRACT formula!

First I had to find a thought, one simple thought that would bring me the feeling I was after! I wasn’t even sure what the feeling thought would be???

I put my hands over my head and said, “YES! I found the paint! Woohoo! I did it! There it is! I knew it was around here somewhere! I found the paint. It was right there!! Ha ha ha! Silly me. I found it!!! Woohoo!”

Now I just radically changed my whole body and the way I feel, by simply thinking new thoughts and using my body! (hands waving over my head.)

I was now FEELING AS IF I had found the paint!!! I was living it. I was now vibrating on the same frequency as the paint.

Then I said something spontaneously brilliant, “I found the paint, it was in the……”

I paused for a half a second because I was now going to say where I found the paint, but the truth was I did not KNOW because I had not found the paint yet!!!

I was lying to myself!!!!

But hey, I am just playing pretend, make believe, no big deal, just make up a location where I found the paint! Gulp!

I said out loud, “I found the paint in the… washing machine!!!!!”

Laughing, I danced around singing, I found the paint! It worked!

Then I thought, “Okay forget about it, go do something else.”

I walked out of the garage and just for kicks went into the laundry room, I looked inside the washing machine. I laughed at my silliness.

Then I stopped and looked up above the washing machine. I have cabinets. Inside those cabinets is laundry detergent, rags, shoe polish, etc.

I had the impulse to open up the cabinets……………

I opened up the cabinet door and……….. there was the paint!!!

I found the paint!

WHY? Because I found the feeling first!!

Feeling first, manifestation second!

WooHoo!!

* * * * * * * *

THINK, FOCUS, FEEL, ATTRACT!
First, I thought new thoughts. Then I focused on those new thoughts! Then I focused those new thoughts into the FEELING. Then I attracted my desire!

I would have NEVER found the paint if my focus and feeling was on the lack of paint, even though my desire was for the paint!!

I wanted the paint, I wanted it so bad!!! BUT IT wasn’t until I focused on the FEELING of finding the paint and feeling AS IF I had already found the paint that I changed my vibration of attraction and was now in the receiving mode of finding the paint!!

What are you looking for in your life?

What is driving you crazy because it has not manifested yet????

Right now how would you feel if you found it, discovered it, attracted it? How would you feel??? Feel it now by using the simple formula Think, Focus, Feel, Attract!

FIRST you have to deliberately think new thoughts. SECOND you have to focus on those thoughts for at least 2 minutes, 3 times a day. Throw in some guided visualization for fun. THIRD you have to feel those new thoughts!!! Get that feeling going inside your mind, body and soul. Feel the excitement, passion, joy, gratitude and appreciation. FOURTH know you are attracting it to you.

Then celebrate AS IF it’s already done and be happy! Now you are in the receiving mode of all your desires!

Remember, the feeling has to come first, the manifestation comes second!

If you can feel it, you can have it!

Think, Focus, Feel, Attract!

If you get the chance to see Andy live, don’t miss it!  And if you’re in Utah, his brother Mike (of Notes from the Universe fame) is coming to Salt Lake on February 20th!  Love you guys!

Related posts:

1. Guest Post: Wanting a Relationship or Avoiding Single?
2. Guest Post: Eliminating Lip Service
3. Wisdom Nuggets from Mike Dooley

Everything is changing.

And by everything we mean, EVERY assumption, every belief, every
system, every pattern.

The only thing unchanging is love, oneness, peace, the unity of all things.

But even your experience of all of these is changing radically.
The entry points into these experiences are changing.

Can you feel the love in fear?
Can you feel peace in chaos?
Every moment is inviting you into the new world.
As quickly as you are willing to be made new.
  
Your DNA is changing.
Your breath is changing.
The consciousness that encompasses ALL is changing.
The very core of life is changing – through you.
Now.

Change is touching every part of human consciousness from the micro to the macro.

Some of this change is visible (especially to those on the leading edge), but most is not yet.

Trust your own experience and don’t worry about how others are experiencing their awakening.

Even the way you change is changing.

So what would you cling to?

Don’t even seek to answer this question, but simply notice anything that would not be easily released if you were to wake up in a
totally new world.

Focus instead on what is emerging.

Imagine the new world.

We realize this is antithetical to the human pattern of being “past-referenced.”

We know that for millions of years, you have been building slowly and incrementally in an evolutionary curve and yes, we are proposing
that you now become referenced instead to the unknown.

We invite you to fully open to quantum change, to allow a shift as significant as moving from ocean to land. The first creature to do that successfully was surely risking death, and instead created the ability to breathe air.

Play with this possibility.

Ask “what if…” and see what emerges.

Root yourself in the Unknown, and you will find it is the richest soil.

- Spirit speaking through Sylvia

Thank you, Sylvia (and Spirit) – and Happy New Year, everyone!

Related posts:

1. Crucial Message?
2. Six Habits to Transform Your Year
3. We Knew It!

As in, believing that becoming wealthy is an issue because of the extra taxes incurred.  Or that losing weight is a problem because of the uncomfortable attention garnered from the opposite sex.  (Read the post again if this phenomenon doesn’t sound familiar.)

Now that we have brought those potential party poopers to light, what’s next?

Often, nothing.

Just bringing those contrary thoughts to the light of day can be enough to disappear them.  (Yes, you can “disappear them.”  They’ll evaporate in the light when you usher them out of the dark corners of your mind.)

But, some of the more stubborn stinkers may call for intervention.

If you’ve got a stubborn thought at cross-purposes of your dreams and desires, never fear.  You’re still in charge.  Here’s what to do:

1. Relax.  This isn’t a big deal or a big mystery.  Don’t let anxiety about a contrary thought add to negative energy.  It’s not a big deal, especially when you’re observing it in action!  You are SO in the power seat once you’re seeing clearly what’s happening, so it’s a great time to relax.

2. Get curious.  We know what we resist persists, so we don’t want to engage a “war” against the thoughts that aren’t serving us.  Observe them from a friendly, curious place.  Just noticing what’s up, maybe even being entertained by it.

3. Check references. You know how before you hire a stranger off the street or accept a new tenant into your house you make a phone call or two to check them out?  You can do the same thing with these limiting thoughts – inquire; question; test them out.  Byron Katie’s work is a powerful process for this step.

4. Rethink it.  Once you’ve poked and prodded and looked under the hood of the old contrary thought, it’s easier to find a new, more aligned, perspective.  After you’ve tried on a few alternative thoughts, you’re bound to find one you like better.  Entertaining that thought is going to serve you really well.

That’s how simple it is.  Let’s look at an example:

My realization that somewhere deep down I believe once I’m loaded my sweetie will relate to me differently, as in a huge (read: threatening) shift of power in the relationship is actually kind of interesting.  (That’s me getting curious, rather than judging myself for it or defending the truth of it.  I’m just curious about it.) 

How funny that I would think that!  I wonder where that came from – in fact, maybe it’s time to check references.   Is it true that my beau will be threatened when I’m the primary income earner; when his income is a pittance compared to mine?  (That’s me putting the Work to work.)

You know, now that I think about it, I have to admit, he might be delighted with that situation.  I can imagine he may very well have it in him to be a kept man.  Now that thought I’m having some fun with.  Is there another one I like better? 

Maybe this one: I read recently that women who earn the money tend to think of it as “our” money whereas men not so much.  So if that were the case, me making significantly more than my sweetheart might actually be a huge equilator.  (I made that word up and I like it.) 

That’s nice, but I like that other thought better – the one where Russ is excited to have a girlfriend whose income dwarfs his.  Why not, huh?!

Just like that, I’ve begun to resolve my subconscious “problem” in being rich.

And, this isn’t the only way.  Let’s hear from those of you who have alternative practices for unloading those thoughts that are preventing your total alignment to what you want. 

Who will share?

PS – be sure to read comments for Kim’s excellent addition as step #5!

Related posts:

1. Shepherd Your Thoughts
2. Monkey Bar Thoughts
3. Creating Multiple Revenue Streams??

(He’d done the same for me ten years ago when my last engagement came to an abrupt end, so I was happy to return the favor.  Plus he’s a great guy, so it was a good excuse to hang out again.)

Yesterday as we spent several hours washing walls and sanding cupboards in his new place, it led to conversations we haven’t had before. 

One of those conversations was how he answers other people’s question about why we aren’t together. 

Apparently he’s been telling people (because he genuinely believes) that the reason we didn’t marry is because I chose cats over him. 

(He’s allergic and I didn’t give up my two cats when we moved in together.)

I could hardly believe that’s the story he not only tells, but also believes.  ?!

“Boy, that’s not how I remember it,” I said.

He asked what my version was, which went something like: 

The day he spent the last of my savings on lunch with his secretary, I told him that although I would buy the lunch he shared with his mom the day before, but I would not buy his secretary’s lunch.  He could pay me that money back.

That’s when he opened his wallet and started flipping bills in the air saying,  “Is this what you want?”

It would be an understatement to say this scene was a turning point in our relationship.  In that moment I marveled at how he suddenly had money, while at the same time launching a swing at him.

Several hours and broken items later, most of my belongings were strewn across the front lawn.  Of the house I was paying for.

That’s how I remember the end of our engagement.

But he really thought it was the cats.  In fact, he doesn’t even remember a conversation about lunches with secretaries.

Wow, huh?

(Although we both remember the knock-down drag-out fight I started.)

The reason I share this somewhat entertaining story is that it proved to me once again how malleable “reality” is. 

What is the truth?  And how could we ever claim to know it when perspectives vary so dramatically?

Last year I wrote about the power of purposely choosing better feeling perspectives after being inspired by Wicked.

This ability we have of telling our own version of what went down can actually be leveraged into more powerful manifesting. 

As we learn to consciously adopt a perspective that lines us up with what we want and how we want to feel, we deliberately manage the energy that leads to what happens next.

On the way home a big truck cut me off in traffic, and I thought, “Well, if you can go faster than me, more power to you.”  And he did (go faster than me) and I gave him a thumbs up.  I’m fine with that. 

That’s a very different perspective than when I used to think something like, “Who do you think you are?” and feeling indignant that he thinks he’s more important or in a bigger hurry than the rest of us.

So, I like my ex’s version of our breakup more than mine.  Yep, I’m a woman whose true love and devotion to animals wouldn’t be trumped by some fleeting romance.  hee hee  I know that story wouldn’t work for everyone, but it makes me giggle.

(And giggling is a sign of downstream movement, you know.)

In fact, I almost like the part where my ex-fiance “reminded” me (as if it happened – which I doubt) of the time he showed up to give me a ride home and found me making out with some guy in the parking lot. 

Now that’s incredibly unlikey to have happened for at least a dozen different reasons (I think he’s getting me mixed up with a different girlfriend), but still … I kind of like the thought that I wasn’t a hapless girl sitting at home while he wined and dined co-workers at Subway on my dime.  Rather, I was out having my share of fun, too. 

The discrepancies in our recalled histories are hilarious, considering it was a shared history.  To whatever extent I can find room for improvement on the version I tell, that leads to better vibrations which brings in more good stuff in the present day.

Because you know there are some situations where our version of the story is keeping us from vibrational alignment to what we want.

So if you’ve got a story that isn’t serving you, my suggestion is to switch it up. 

I mean, look how easy it is!  Stand in someone else’s shoes, and give it a try from their perspective.  If you don’t like that angle, find another one.

Because we each decide what’s true and real based on what we attend to.  Let’s use that power for good, huh?

Related posts:

1. Dealing with Reality
2. Lose Your Grip On Reality
3. Leaving Reality Behind

Hi Everyone! I’m thrilled at the chance to talk with the Good Vibe Coach Clan! Thank you, Jeannette!

With the New Moon in Libra, the sign ruling personal 1-to-1 relationships, this post is about romance—love, dating, commitment, marriage—whatever ‘romance’ means to you. If your love life could use a vibe shift (or if you just said, ‘what love life?’) then now is the perfect time to change the way you think. (And that’s all that needs to change to make a difference—the way you think!)

Many of you have heard me talk about astrology and law of attraction, but for those who haven’t, here ‘s the nut shell: Astrology (the birth time and place) doesn’t determine our character. It’s the other way around. We’re born at a particular time because of who we are. We don’t reflect the moment of birth—it reflects us!  Our astrology cannot limit conscious awareness, however it can offer timely insights and support along the way to our enlightenment. 

It is in this spirit I offer these tips under the New Libra Moon!

Tip one: Find your story

To alter your thoughts about love (i.e. improve your love life) you have to know what they are in the first place. The quickest way to find out is to ask. ‘What’s my story?’ (In six words or less please. Any longer and it’s the gremlins talking.) If you think it’s too hard to say it in so few worlds, relax. Your unconscious took care of it for you long ago. (Handy if the words are I have a wonderful love life. Or, Love is bliss. Or, I’m so darn lucky in love.  Not such a bonus if it out to be, Men suck.

No matter what you might be doing to shift your love vibe around, things aren’t going to budge while your story remains unconscious. When unknown, the story is fate—it creates your ‘relationship reality’. If I say, ‘all the good ones are taken,’ sure enough when I look for them, their taken! (This is something I used to say a lot and demon’s fire if it wasn’t true . . . until I changed my tune!)

Tip two: Let go of the old story

I used to think there were perfectly good reason for my story, my words. I mean, I did always get hurt, cheated on, lied to etc (you can see why I thought all the good ones were taken!) If you have a story, your life will fulfil it, which reinforces the story , which life fulfils . . . ad infinite.  But there are versions, and we can always choose which to tell.

Take Medusa for example. There are several versions of her mythology (as is the case in many ancient stories). In one she was a beautiful young nymph raped by Poseidon in the temple of Athena. The goddess punished her for this with a cures, turned her hair into snakes, and oh yes, I almost forgot, if she ever looked at a man again, he was turned to stone.

We can only imagine what her six words would be!

But another version tells a different story. Here Medusa is an honoured ally of Athena (her image is on her shield). No rape, no curse. She is a powerful warrior protecting her lands from barbarian (which she enjoys doing).  Both are the ‘Medusa story’, just different ‘tellings’.

We can do this too. 

Tip three: Write a better story!

The ancient Greeks called fate ‘that which is written.’ They thought it was immutable.  We know differently now. Changing our story literally means changing our ‘fate’. Remember, we choose which version of our lives to tell. 

The horoscope below is designed to help identify old stories and find better ones. Each sun sign is given with its opposite because relationships bring out the ‘bipolar’ in us—our sun sign AND the 180 degree ‘shadow’ sign. If you know your Ascendant sign, read that one too!

Aries & Libra: These signs share the story of Lover vs. Power.  Aries wants to be the boss and Libra wants to feel the love but in relationship the traits can flip (daily). Suddenly Libra calls the shot and Aries is begging for romance. (The conflict is within, inherent in both signs) The stories go like this: Relationships are a compromise. Marriage is a trap. I’m lonelier with than without.  When these signs let go ‘domination and subservience’ stories the energy harmonizes and becomes a conduit for enlightenment.  At that point, the story transforms to ‘Having the time of my life!’ 

Taurus & Scorpio: Peace vs. Change. Taurus yearns for peace at the expense of change and Scorpio yearns for change at the expense of peace. Both are incredibly stubborn. (Talk about what you resist . . .)  The stories can be Love isn’t worth the risk. Relationships always blow up, (S)he’s like a ball & chain. When there is balance the propensity to fall into a secure but stagnant peace is replaced with the willingness to traverse new territory. The urge to flee when it becomes over challenged is grounded with an inner peace. Then the story is, Things just keep getting better!

Gemini & Sagittarius: Words vs. Actions. When it comes to love, these signs can get caught up on words, ideas, beliefs, philosophies and what to ‘do’ about them. Gemini wants to gather and disseminate vast amounts of information and Sagittarius wants to turn the sparkling wisdom into an action (or religion). Talk about mixed messages! Stories include No one understands. They never listen to me. I’m not smart enough (or they aren’t). It’s better to just have friends. When aligned, the drive to expand consciousness may live out through the deep sharing of ideas as well as the intimacy of the bodies.  Then the story becomes, Together is better than ever!

Cancer & Capricorn: Co-dependency verses vs. Self-sufficiency.  Capricorn represents independence, capability and sometimes insensitivity.  Cancer is nurturing, bonding and sometimes ultra needy.  The combination can leave the partner saying WTH? The story goes like this: I’m not good enough for him/her. He only wants me for my money. Marriage is better than being alone (or the opposite). Alignment comes when the longing to immerse in the inner world of feelings moves into the larger collective and the desire for accomplishment move inwards to meet the empathy and compassion of shared feelings. Then the story becomes, Life’s a beautiful symbiosis!

Leo & Aquarius Self vs. Group. Traditionally, Leo is the monarch and Aquarius the cosmic social worker.  Leo finds creativity in individuality and distinction and Aquarius finds it in groups and community.  When in relationship, both signs can manifest conflicting urges, and both signs can be incredibly willful! Stories go like this: No one’s good enough for me. Relationship is sacrifice. They always hate my friends. (I always hate their friends). With alignment they can learn to pool their resources in a creative and erotic merging that brings about a beautiful result. Then the story becomes, Creativity through collaboration!

Virgo & Pisces: Order vs. Chaos. Virgo compares and contrasts; Pisces merges and dissolves.  One takes unformed mass from the sea of the collective and shapes it into something functional.  The other lures those forms back into the sea so they might remix in new ways. In love, these signs manifest some conflicting feel goods! Stories might be: I’m so confused. What they don’t know can’t hurt. It’s too good to be true. I let the good on get away. With acknowledgement of both ritual order and immersion in the unknown, relationship can bring these seemingly opposite qualities together.  Then the story becomes, Love is the soul of harmony!

What’s your love story in six words or less? It’d be great to hear you all chime in! 

Namaste, Kim

More from Kim:
Weekly Astro Mojo
Astrology
Novels

Related posts:

1. Physician Heal Thyself (Kim Falconer Guest Post)
2. Guest Post: Wanting a Relationship or Avoiding Single?
3. Guest Post: Eliminating Lip Service