Dealing with Reality

March 3, 2008 | 26 Comments »

dream-house.jpgWhen readers email questions, I do my best to respond with helpful answers – but this one inspired me to answer here.  Partly because I think we all deal with it, and also because it’s an important one to get a handle on.  Here’s the question:

“How do you attend to “reality” while focusing whole-heartedly on your desires?”

The reader goes on to ask: “How do you believe in the big wonderful Plan A dream while still having to live with what is currently manifested, sort of dealing with Plan B?  Isn’t that squandering some of your energy if you have to make a Plan B, because that is all current resources allow?”

Her situation is one we’ve each faced in one form another … where we have the dream, as represented on the vision board, reminder bracelet, audio tapes -or whatever we’re using to activate the vibe of what we want.  And then we all have the “reality” – the home we don’t love, the job that doesn’t cover the bills, the weight we’re still carrying, yada yada yada.

We know we get what we focus on, so as we attend to reality, we create more of the same.  We know that concentrating on our dreams is how they come true.  Yet focusing on dreams while living out “dreary” real life is easier said than done.  Figuring out how to make it to next payday can be somewhat of an impediment to feeling like you’re rolling in dough, if you know what I mean.  (Which I know many of you do, based on the emails you send.)

Two things important to remember here:

1) you don’t have to completely eliminate the old vibe in order to begin attracting what you want, and

2) you really can find a new, better-feeling perspective on your current reality.

Case in point: I successfully built my coaching practice amidst many and strong fears of failure.  I didn’t have to totally rid myself of the fear vibe before perfect clients started showing up.  I just needed to start spending some time with the “perfect clients hiring me” vibe.  If I had to get the energy 100% perfect before anyone retained me, it wouldn’t have happened!

Second, no matter what’s happening (or not happening) in your life, there’s a better feeling way to see it than you’re looking at now.  I’ve been practicing this deliberately the last couple days, and am amazed at the room for improvement I had in my perspective! 

For example, when you’re scraping together rent payment for another month in the run down house in the city you don’t even want to be, there’s a way to see it differently.  Maybe: “It’s nice to have a roof over my head,” “I’m going to miss these neighbors when I leave here,” “This place is close to work,” or even “This is one month closer to my last month here!”

Remember you don’t have to swim in your new vibe 24/7 in order to manifest it; and that there’s a way for you to inject (more) appreciation in your current reality. 

As far as how to feel like you haven’t given up on Plan A while you’re living out Plan B, you can find your way to a thought that feels better. 

  • I’m on my way. 
  • This is my stepping stone. 
  • This is the platform I launch from. 
  • This is what allows me to get my vibe together. 
  • This probably isn’t as awful as I’ve been making out. 
  • There’s lots here to enjoy I don’t even see.  But now that I look, I can see it. 
  • Even as I feel what I don’t enjoy, that’s just adding good stuff to my escrow, which I’m lining up with, every day. 
  • Things happen fast, and I might not see the big turnaround coming, but I know it is and when it gets here I’ll love it. 
  • In fact, I love just even thinking about it, and I know that “loving it” vibe serves me well. 
  • And I’ve got a great sweetie in on this gig with me, isn’t it nice we’re doing this together, on the same page about what we want, and doing lots of things to get there …

Bottom line is that if you think Plan B is squandering your energy, it is.  If you think Plan B is helping you get where you want to be, it is.  Find the thought that serves you better. 

Also, another technique that I use in a pinch is remembering how my movie ends.  I remind myself that I’m making all of this up, I’m the script-writer, and what I say goes.  So I don’t have to worry or wonder how this thing plays out – I CHOOSE how it ends.  And I choose Plan A. 

Yes, I may be in one of those dark, scary scenes right now, but that’s just for dramatic effect.  That’s just to keep my attention – and it makes the ending that much more delicious.  So I ride out this scene knowing I’m on my way to what I choose.  I know too much about LOA to not get this right.  And once I get there, I’m just going to want something else anyway, so I may as well get used to the process and find a way to enjoy it. 

In fact, what IS there to enjoy right now?  Oh yeah, I’m wearing my favorite pants.  My cat is sleeping in the sun.  There’s chocolate in the cupboard.  That’s my dad ringing me on the phone now …  LOTS to enjoy now.

Releasing the worries, doubts, fears and picking up the appreciation and enjoyment puts you on a direct course to your Plan A, my friend.  Find the thoughts that allow you to manage those vibes and repeat repeat repeat!  Here’s to your happy ending.  🙂

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26 Responses to “ Dealing with Reality ”

  1. Kate says:

    Thanks Jeanette…you did it again. I have happy tears in my eyes from a sincere recognition that what you said here is so very true. Deep down I may have already known this but obviously needed your perfectly worded reminder. Yes. Yes. Yes. I must have said “Yes” twenty times while reading your response. You are on my Gratitude list. 😉
    Kate Rowan Carey

  2. Rick says:

    ~Also, another technique that I use in a pinch is remembering how my movie ends. ~

    I love this one Jeanette! This is my meat and potatoes …. oh sorry …. tofu and eggplant. LOL

    I prefer to just have a Plan A, and it meanders because it’s more interesting.

    And I am going to watch a couple of movies tonight (Predator and Die Hard) because it gets me back in the vibe that thrives. I find that when it becomes an effort to let go of stuff (or I just plain “can’t” … lol now there’s a 4 letter word) that immersing myself in a mind vacation really helps: and after all, as you mentioned, we really are just replacing one story with another.

    Thanks for the reminders. Sometimes it really helps if someone gently reminds me that I’m somnambulating.

    Yippee Ki Yay!

  3. Kate, I’m flattered! Glad you found it helpful. It’s clear you are VERY lined up with gratitude and appreciation! Don’t underestimate the power of that!

  4. Rick, what does somnambulating mean?? lol And where’s the link to YOUR blog, please??

    PS – I was talking to someone in California the other day when she referenced the “F” word … I was like .. ??? But when I asked her to elaborate, she said the f-e-a-r word. ha! Your four letter “can’t” word made me think of that.

    Martha Beck throws an absolute FIT on the phone with me if I say the word “can’t.” I mean a SCREAMING fit. My experience is that’s pretty effective in teaching me to watch my language.

    Thanks for posting, Rick.

  5. Kirsten says:

    Great suggestions, Jeannette, to make a gentle transition from B to A. I also find that setting aside dedicated, focused time to meditate is a way to step outside “reality” for awhile to bring Plan A closer to me.

  6. Good one, Kirsten, I know that works really well for lots of folks. I’ve personally played with different forms of meditation in order to find one that suited me well. So I would encourage anyone reading this who feels inspired to explore it to do the same.

    Thanks, Kirsten! Always nice to hear other perspectives and ideas!!

  7. Toni says:

    Jeannette, (I’ll just repeat all the good stuff the other readers said before me, but anyway – here comes) – this is SOOOO good. You really do have a way with words, and your mastery of LOA – and love for it too – absolutely shines through.

    If you ever decide to write a book including all your good examples of this blog, I’ll promote it like crazy all over Scandinavia! 🙂

    Wonderful post – thank you so much.
    Love, Toni

  8. Rayna Campbell says:

    Wow Jeanette such a timely message and one that clears up a lot of anxiety!!! Thank you always xx

  9. Joann says:

    Jeanette,

    Who says that words don’t inspire. I so appreciate the reminders that we don’t have to be 100% into the new, finding the good in the present situation, and looking at how the movie ends. Thanks for Kim’s name (astrology) Had forgotten it.

    One of the Law of Attraction methods that has helped me so, so much and has worked so effectively for me (when I practice and remember to do it) is setting intentions in small increments throughout the day and combining that with gratitude. I’ll set my intention for the next immediate thing I’m doing. Like a 15 min. increment. That brings me into the Now. And when that is done and feels good, I’m in a better space and in a better vibe for the next increment. And it’s a neat feeling of “Wow, I really did that. That was easier than I thought.”
    And as it becomes easier, it becomes easier.

    EX: Start any time you remember to do it. The idea is to develop the habit.
    You can start first thing in the morning:
    Just before getting into shower:
    “I intend to have a refreshing shower that awakens me, etc.
    When in shower:
    I so appreciate the hot running water and how good the water feels, the smell of the soap, etc. ” .
    “I intend to eat breakfast(if not on the run) and receive optimal nourishment from the food I eat and I thank the earth for providing it.”
    When you get into your car:
    “I intend to have a pleasant drive to work, feeling calm and relaxed, I’m so grateful that I have a full tank of gas and my car is running so efficiently and the AC is working, etc.”
    When you arrive at work and turn off the ignition: etc, etc, etc.
    Of course, use words that are comfortable for you and relevant to your situation.

    Building on that throughout the day creates more and more moments of feeling good. – so I’m creating a whole string of them. That takes me away from the the larger overwhelming picture of “reality” and the feeling of being stuck in Plan B while moving toward Plan A.

    I am also developing what I call “quick reflexes”. I think of language as a precision instrument. I listen to my “self-talk” and the words I’m using and catch myself and change the language ASAP to feel relief. If a better-feeling word doesn’t come, which sometimes happens, at least my energy is acknowledging the intention and that shifts my vibe.
    Speaking of words: I read somewhere that “can’t” means “won’t”.

    Just love, love, love this site! Thank you all.

  10. Rick says:

    I have to share with you something that your post inspired me to do this morning:

    Okay, here I was driving in and around a few cities and out into some rural area that connects them. All of a sudden I got present to the inner dialogue: storm coming, tired, freakin’ other drivers, wah, wah, wah …
    (what brought me to the surface was hearing that song I Love Myself Today, the punky one, on the radio which was awesome of the Universe to arrange)

    When this happens I get really aware because really soon after, the Universe gives me a clue. This time it was some news banter on the radio.

    I started thinking about how it would be nice to hear some good news. Then I thought it would be great to hear some great news over the radio about me!

    Well, you know how I have a thing for sock puppets, so I pulled off the road, took off my shoes and put my socks over my hands and they were magically transformed into anchor persons.(Serendititously, I was wearing two different socks so that added to the experience) It was an exciting news flash telling about this guy Rick and the amazingly fantastic things going on in his life, his family and friend’s lives and the freakin amazing transformation of the world.

    Of course, sprinkled in amongst the news they flirted a bit, added interesting annecdotes and gave the winning lottery numbers, but it was transformational for me.

    I really went with it, and I am believe how relaxed and at ease and in a Joy Flow I am.

    And you are SO right: “enough” is the consolation prize.

    Another great thing I learned! I need to change my socks more often.

    (Also, I would have loved to hear what those people passing by in their cars were thinking)

    Yippee Ki Yay Coach

  11. Toni, your note absolutely made my day!! Thank you for the warm heart and huge smile you inspired within me!

    And Rayna, super nice to hear from you again! Glad you found the post helpful.

    I know I’m doing something right when I get emails like this from you two!

  12. Joann, I love your practice of doing the day in bite-sized chunks. Easy to handle and excellent at keeping us engaged in the present. Nice tip, and nice way to stay out of overwhelment of a challenging “reality.”

    And your mastery over deliberate use of language is an excellent example! It reminds of yesterday’s Abe quote:

    “You know what to do about it. Keep up with it with your words, with your conversation. Keep up with it. Because you can feel it when you don’t.”

    Abraham-Hicks, Boca Raton 11/3/07

    Thanks for reading, Joann, and especially for posting! I love it when we engage in conversation, so this isn’t just me posting my thoughts, but us sharing our experiences and ideas to make for an even better time than we were already having here. hee hee

    Partners in Creation! I love it!! And you. Thanks, Joann. And everyone who reads (and posts)!!

  13. Yay, Rick!! Not just for becoming present to the inner dialogue (although that in itself is HUGE!) but also for following your inspiration to do something that most would definitely raise their eyebrows at! I LOVE IT!!!

    You inspired me to revisit that lovely song today, which I thank you for introducing me to, as well as the concept of Joy Flow. That’s cool!! I’ve been there (Joy Flow), but never had a name for it (other than “tapped in, tuned in, turned on”). Now I suspect I’ll spend more time there.

    Thanks for the inspiration, Rick! You are one of my favorite manifestations. hee hee

  14. Rick says:

    ~You are one of my favorite manifestations. hee hee~

    Thank you. I am one of my favourite also 😉

    …. as are you. I should admit that the eyebrow thing was, yet again, me playing with irony: perfection is boring without a touch of asymmetry.

    BTW … I would not even of thought of playing with my sock puppets had you not challenged me to criticize you in the group. It was a gift that’s kept on giving.

    Спасибо

  15. Michael says:

    This topic so helps fill in the ‘gaps’ between where we are and where we envision going. Great, great topic.

    I am reminded that the Universe isn’t needing some ‘perfect’ effort on my part. I noticed that before in other instances, where I couldn’t maintain a ‘perfect’ focus on the vibe/goals I wanted…yet great things showed up just from the upward trend I was generating.

    So the universe isn’t grading my performance, which is nice! 🙂 I like the idea that there’s a constant flow of good, and that my Plan A is in escrow, I just have to keep getting myself out of the way so to speak…

    m|p

  16. You’re exactly right, Michael. It doesn’t need a perfect effort, or even a perfect vibe! Kind of a relief, huh? (And a mind-bender for all of us recovering perfectionists.) lol

    All we need to do is just feel even a little bit better, and we’re headed in the right direction.

    Thanks for piping in here!

  17. Rick – you MUST explain that signoff on your last post, as I am certain it’s not insignificant. ?

    PS – congrats on sock puppet play! I hadn’t realized what a big step up that is – but you’re absolutely right, it’s HUGE!! 🙂

  18. Rick says:

    Спасибо, which is spasibo in cyrillic, is “thank you” in Russian.

    The significance is that all languages are sounds that are attached to certain ideas so that we can communicate. I was reminding myself that I can get too limited in the languages I use. Just using sock puppets is a language.

    What you do is teach others how to create new languages with which to speak to ourselves. Not just different concepts but different ways to communicate them. New ways create new paths in the mind and make it not only possible but easier to create new behaviour. Even new people. How cool are you!!

    (My favorite is bawdy language, but that is pretty limiting)

    So it was just a little self reinforcement.

    And, in case you were wondering, Я говоpю немножко по-pусски.

  19. Michael says:

    Well (in regard to the Universe not needing a perfect effort)…I wasn’t having the ‘easiest’ of days. I sort of created a morass (sp?) for myself, and I knew right away I’d set myself up for some potential misery if I didn’t manage things today.

    As it was, it was really up and down, vibewise. But more up than down, because–sure enough–a check for a nice tidy sum manifested absolutely out of the blue in my mailbox when I got home.

    So what a shot in the arm, that even when we’re not 100% ‘in the vibe’, we can still create absolute miracles and forward the action in our lives…

    Great end to an educational day!!

    m|p

  20. Peregrine John says:

    Oh – no one else has answered the question yet, so I will: somnambulation is sleep-walking.

  21. Rick, you’re kind of a tease, aren’t you? ha! I love how you said what we’re learning is a new language to speak to ourselves. For many of us, positive self talk CAN seem like a foreign language.

    But a good one to learn!!

    Thanks for posting, Rick. ALways a pleasure to hear from you. Even if it’s in a language I don’t understand. 🙂

  22. Michael – I LOVE those “out of the blue” surprise checks!! Ha! Good on you! There’s evidence that you’re more lined up than you probably gave yourself credit for, perhaps? What I enjoy most is your “accepting” tone as you describe your up and down vibes. No blame, no fault, nothing wrong … and good things still happening! Yay!!!

    You rock, Michael!

  23. PS – thanks John. Nice to know someone’s reading, paying attention, and cares!! ha ha

    Hey, was it you that turned me on to Breaking Bad?

  24. Peregrine John says:

    Nope, I haven’t seen it yet, myself – though a couple of people mentioned that I probably should!

  25. Col @ life by muse says:

    I was just talking to a friend about how to tell your story the way you want it to be. She brought up a question that always trips me up, the classic “new story / old story” question … Whether to ignore the current story in favor of the new story … Or to tell the old story AND the new story like a transitional sort of story … I’m always second-guessing myself whenever I open my mouth with this story-stuff, it’s the one area of LOA that’s so slippery for me! So I came here to see what my trusted knowledgebase of all-things-LOA had to say about the sitya-a-shun! 😉

  26. I’ve found it depends on what I’m story-telling about, Col. If it’s a big fat stretch, maybe I do a transitional version. If it’s an easy reach, I go “new story” all the way!

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