Don’t Know What To Do?

June 10, 2008 | 26 Comments »

cloud-question.jpgWhat do you do when you don’t know what to do?

Yes, we know to focus on the solution instead of the problem.  Got that. 

But what to do when a solution doesn’t come into focus?

  • Do you ask yourself “What would Buddha do?” 
  • Do you take the course of action mom or dad would think best? 
  • Do you follow your gut and hope for the best? 
  • Do you consult the stars or toss the runes? 
  • Do you go with what the boss/lawyer/name-your-authority figure-here says?

They might seem like good answers, but the one I go with is:

Nothing.

When I don’t know what to do, I know it won’t serve to take action in the midst of confused or disconnected energy.

When the doctor bears bad news, or the relationship is on the rocks, or the bank account’s empty and creditors are calling … until you find the good vibe, any action taken out of desperate or frustrated or confused energy only leads to results that feel the same. 

The best thing to do is set it aside or leave it for now, and wait until inspiration hits. 

That’s what I’m practicing right now. 

I don’t know what to do.  I’m having trouble finding the feel-good.  None of the options I’ve come up with appeal to me. 

So what am I doing?

I’m letting the energy line up before I take any action. 

  • I’m chatting on the phone with a friend
  • Taking an extra long shower
  • Wearing my favorite clothes
  • Emptying my chocolate reserves
  • Watching Animal Cops in Houston
  • Laying on the floor with Sophie
  • Cleaning dog nose prints off windows
  • and whatever else makes me feel better. 

When I reconnect with the feel good energy, I know that’s the time to ask myself what to do next.

Until then, I remind myself all is well.  I remember Universe has my back.  That it’s all unfolding perfectly, and the more I relax, the smoother the ride will be.

And I know it’s okay not to know, and it’s okay to do nothing. 

Ahhh.  There it comes creeping back already … that part of me that knows what to do. 

Cool system we’ve got, huh?

As always – I’d love for you to share your thoughts, questions and experiences …

* * * * * * * *
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26 Responses to “ Don’t Know What To Do? ”

  1. Kim Falconer says:

    I love this post. Jeannette, just when I think you’ve made the most brilliant insight ever, you come up with an even better one!

    You’re amazing!

    And this topic is HUGE for me because I am one of those Need to Know and Do people. You know? The kind that always has to have a plan, never stops, has answers for everything….I used to PANIC if I wasn’t on track!

    On track?

    That was before I realized that those tracks I thought were so important were just an illusion–like the way you can paint lines on a canvas to make it look like something’s going off into the distance. The illusion of perspective.

    That’s all it is.

    On track or off, it’s an illusion. We can paint whatever we like and sometimes hanging out in ‘I don’t know’ is the best place to be!

    Waiting for the feel good!

    Learning to feel good right here, right now at ground Zero–forget about the painting for a moment and click with something beyond the canvas.

    And you are so right. Doing the little things, a talk with a friend, play shoe-string-snake with the cats, water the hanging baskets, feel the sunshine first thing in the morning, those things can transport us off the canvas and into a wider realm.

    From there, it’s a whole new ball game!!!

    Choices become easy because the stakes have changed–our perception has changed. Don’t you think?

    Thank you, Jeannette. Wonderful inspiration you are!

    xxx Kim

  2. Wow, Kim, that’s a good point – being able to ENJOY not knowing – let alone <i>tolerating</i> it – that’s a cool place to be.

    I love it when a CLIENT says “I don’t know how” or “I don’t know what to do” because of the possibility it allows (especially if they don’t believe they’re supposed to know) – but when it’s ME I find it a little disconcerting! lol

    I’m going to practice the squeal of delight for <i>myself</i> next time I don’t know.

    Thanks for the “sunshine” and “shoe string snakes with cats” feel goods – those are incredibly reliable for me, too!

    Love you, girlfriend!

  3. Jeannette,
    You’re staring to freak me out. This is exactly where I am right now! I too decided to just sit with it and not stress about it. Doing nothing feels way better when I’m not fighting it or feeling bad about it. Funny how that works…
    Bridgette

  4. Amen, Bridgette! Sounds like you’ve mastered the ability to be at peace with not knowing. That’s a talent!

    Thanks for posting here, and for sharing your powerful example of allowing in absence of knowing!

  5. Paul. says:

    I’m in that kind of space myself and I realy want to–as Abraham puts it–fix things. That and frustration has been gumming up the vibe some.

    So, some of the things which I’m doing at this time is to stop, go outside and feel the summer sun/breeze on my skin, work on that baby blanket that’s due in 30 days (eek!–ok, gotta switch that last vibe) and learnin ho’oponopono (which, by the way,goes well with knitting the blanket).

    I’ve been told that meditation would be the best thing but I can never quiet my mind sufficiently and “G-d is a perfect gentleman; He waits for you to stop before He speaks.”

    And, Jeannette, with regard to where you are:
    I love you.
    I’m sorry.
    Please forgive me.
    Thank you.

  6. Thank you, Paul! Good energy you’re sending my way – and it is MUCH appreciated, my friend!

    Thanks for reiterating the “sunshine” fixer upper … there must be something about the sun that many of us find our reconnection there, huh?

    Have fun with that baby blanket! And thanks again for the ho’oponopono … I’ll do a little cleaning myself tonight. 🙂

    Love you!

  7. Rick says:

    A beautiful wise woman once told me that we get what we vibrate and that includes not just things but also thoughts and ideas.

    So, beautiful wise woman, thanks for reminding me!

    Hmmmm, what would feel good right this moment?
    I have a idea!

    Actually, what I DID was put on some running shoes and joined the mad dogs and Englishmen out in the noonday sun and after my run took a shower, hung out in the shade with my dog and while he and I were watching the squirrels play, I found my feel good and my gratitude and pleasure and I could feel inside how to step right on over to joy.

    It’s like you say, I just have to be present enough to my Vibe to look around for the closest ‘better’ thing.And I can get just about anywhere from there.

    Thanks for the gift that keeps on giving.

  8. Rick, you said a mouthful here: “I can get just about anywhere from there.”

    Isn’t that the most comforting knowledge?! I love that reminder!

    Wow, I’m just going to revel in that one for another minute, because it feels so good.

    We’re never stuck, with just a little leverage from a slightly-better-feeling thought we can get ANYWHERE. Even to joy.

    What worked for me today, too, was getting on the phone with a particularly upbeat client. Within 30 seconds of feeling her energy, I felt mine bounce right back to where it likes to be.

    I definitely dragged that call out. lol

    I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, Rick: Life is better with you in it. Thanks for accompanying me on the journey, my friend. 🙂

  9. Jerielle says:

    Well I certainly know how this works. This past winter after all that happened with my mother, I was unsure of so much. While I really felt (and still do feel) that perhaps a move to be closer to her may be right, it just didn’t feel right yet. I had no idea what to do. I had to accept and welcome that not knowing. I did. Within almost no time I was called by a theatre I had worked at before who wanted to cast me in an incredible part in an incredible production. I still don’t know what tomorrow will bring, but I feel it was in the moment that welcomed the unknown that the gift of doing exactly what I loved was given to me easiest. I haven’t auditioned much at all this season, and yet I just finished performing in two shows and am preparing to leave for another in a month! All without auditions!

    So continue embracing the unknown, because no matter what we think we have figured out, it is truly all there is beyond this instant.

    I love that you know so much Jeannette, yet your blog is as real as it gets. You still stumble from time to time and usually you quickly figure out why and then you tell us all about it!

    Thank you!

  10. Oh! I remember that time for you, Jerielle!!

    Man, it’s so easy to tell someone else to relax and trust and let the inspiration come, but to practice it in the heat of the moment is another.

    I didn’t realize what courage and strength you were showing me!

    I’m in awe – because your situation was certainly .. well, mine isn’t nearly as stressful as what you were dealing with.

    Thanks for the unintentional reality check, Jerielle! ha

    Time for me to walk the talk, and if I can do it with even a fraction of the fabulous results YOU got, I’ll be thrilled. 🙂

    You rock, Jerielle! Keep us posted on your wonderful successes!

  11. Kim Falconer says:

    I love these stories! It’s so interesting that many of us are talking about sunshine! The sun is a symbol of consciousness!

    Don’t you just love that?

    Another point about hanging out in ‘I don’t know’ with ease is that if we always know how to handle something there is no room for surprise. If I think I know for sure what to do next, how can I ever do anything different? Anything new? Taking time out to be confused is a sure fire way of getting somewhere I haven’t dreamed of yet!

    Three cheers for ‘I don’t know’!!!

    Hip hip hurray!

    xxx Kim

  12. Judi says:

    Love this post Jeannette. So apt for where I am now.

    I guess when I am in that “help, what shall I do now?” space I intuitively move on to doing something else that I love to do. Sitting in the sun with my wonderful old boy Marvin, who is a poorly rescue pusscat does it for me. He’s been to hell and back but keeps on giving life a go and enjoying every minute now he’s with me. What a teacher!

    When in that state of joy it’s so easy to see a big expansive picture. But what do we do with the bit of us that says “hey, all this goofing off is all well and good, and conscious creation is just fine, but when are we going to take some concrete action?” You know the one? I am fine tuning at the moment to get the balance between waiting for “inspired action” and worrying that I am procrastinating? Terrible left brain word that isn’t it?

    Heck, just sit in the sun Judi, love Marvin and soak up the joy, look at the bigger picture and quit the fretting!! Wow that feels so much better.

    Love what you do Jeannette. Every post inspires me to be more of who I am.

  13. Amen, Kim, for surprise and consciousness!! I’ll join you in the cheers for “I don’t know” (in the sunshine even).

    You put such a fun spin on it that who could help being excited about the next time they don’t know?!

    You rock!!

  14. Yes, Judi, I know that one!! (“When are we going to take some concrete action?”)

    Let’s also hear a cheer for the Marvins of the world who remind us that all is well.

    It also helps me to remember that even when I get where I said I want to be, upon arrival there will shortly be new destinations, goals and intentions in mind – so it’s much more fun to really enjoy this journey part that often includes lots of “not knowing.”

    Thanks for your post, Judi!! Give Marvin (and yourself) a big love for me. 🙂

  15. Jerielle says:

    Well I must admit that, while I am glad to look back on those moments as having had courage and strength…at the time I just felt as if I truly had no other choice than to just be. I wanted to plan, but couldn’t. I wanted to know what to do, but I didn’t. I realize that we always do have other choices. We can panic, we can fight it, we can lose our marbles. I am thankful that in that moment the best thing I could do was welcome everything about it and ask for clarity at whatever point the time was right. I still am not sure about a move in my future, but at that moment, the show I got called to do certainly told me that I should be performing, and it was in one of the most NYC shows that exists. So I kind of have to trust that, if the time comes to make that move, I will know.

  16. Paul. says:

    I know I’ve already chimed in on this topic but, as I go through this myself, I reminded myself of Abraham’s Scripting process. I know Jeannette knows this but, for those of you who haven’t encountered it, you have a conversation (say, like over coffee with a dear friend) about how wonderfully everything all worked out.

    As I said, I’ve just remembered this process for myself. But the reason why I’m posting this again is I was struck, when reading your posts, how so many of you were already spending the time with dear friends, so adding this type of conversation might be a double-helping of good.

    I also realized that my worrying was just Scripting but towards a creation that I didn’t want (but I know you guys have already realized that yourselves 🙂 ).

    Back to that blanket….

    (Oh, and Jeannette:
    I love you.
    I’m sorry.
    Please forgive me.
    Thank you.)

  17. Michael says:

    That’s really big for me because I’ve previously been conditioned to DO rather than BE. I notice that a certain amount of action can lead me to a better frame of ‘being’, but just slogging with a vibe that doesn’t align with my desired result just produces results that further that vibe…plus I’m exhausted from all of that work! 🙂

    m|p

  18. Nice technique, Paul. Thanks for reminding us of that!

    The power of leveraging the conversations we engage in on a day in day out basis for deliberate creation purposes is VERY untapped in my opinion!

  19. Yeah, Michael, I think you’ve got lots of company in that “doing” programming you mentioned.

    I met a really sweet girl Friday who said she was “stuck in Utah” and didn’t know how to get out. She asked my advice, and I said what I do when I don’t know what to do is NOTHING. But having said that, the first thing I WOULD do is change my story about being “stuck in Utah.”

    Maybe “I’m working up an exit strategy” or “I’m in between pleasures” (that’s what my dad used to say instead of “unemployed” – he’d say “in between jobs”).

    So I guess there really is something to DO – even if it’s just change our vibe.

    Thanks for the inspiration to flesh that out a little more, Michael. Sending good thoughts your way! 🙂

  20. Crys says:

    This just happened to me this weekend.

    I flew into Columbia, SC just for a few hours.
    I met my son to see him off. He is deployed to Iraq.
    I never left the airport except to see him to the curb.
    When we left the gate area the information screen read the my return flight was delayed by an hour. I was thankful for the extra time to spend with my son.

    By the time I started back to the departure gate, I had an hour to spare. As I approached the gate area I noticed there were NO people. A very uneasy feeling, no way I’m the only passenger today. I double checked the screen as I approached. It still read that the flight was delayed by an hour. I could see an airplane out the window heading for the taxi way. No gate agent.
    Once that plane was on it’s way someone came in and asked if they could help.
    “Yeah . . . That’s not my plane is it?” Well, yes it was my plane, the last one out for the day. I pointed out the “delayed” message on the screen.
    She very casually said “yeah, I don’t know why that’s there” and walked away. Did she actually have a lolipop in her mouth or was it just my imagination?

    (Apparently updated announcements were made, but I was at the curb with my son and never heard them.)

    So I sat down. Not another soul in sight. Just me.
    I got still and got nothing. I felt very strongly that to act just then would be hasty, besides, I got nothin’
    No credit card for a hotel, not even a toothbrush.
    Nothin’ !!!
    So I sat, and sat, and sat. It was really pretty peaceful.
    I got “all up in the moment”. I checked in with me and found out I was fine for the moment, the next moment came and I was still fine. So far so good.

    That same agent came out a back door about a half an hour later and looked at me with great pity.
    “Where you trying to go?”
    “No place” I said, “this chair is fine”,
    She didn’t understand.
    “No more flights tonight” she said.
    “I know” as I sat calmly.
    She just looked at my like I was crazy, probably because she is used to passengers “acting out” when things fall apart.
    I sat some more, and found the quiet and the stillness and settled into it.
    After only an hour, the remedy presented itself.
    I’m not gonna tell you the rest except to say it was fabulous and I ended up being very happy I missed my flight and realized it was no accident.
    Yup, when in doubt . . . wait it out.
    Hugs,
    Crys

  21. Jade says:

    Oh C’mon Crys – what happened next? I’m dying to know.

  22. Oh, GIRLFRIEND, you’re emailing at least ME (and you better include Jade) with the rest of this story!! ha ha

    After just reading your post on Plan Bs, I have to tell you, Crys, I’m hoping that the remedy appeared in the form of a Mr. Potentially Right. hee hee

    Okay, maybe don’t tell me and let me have fun with the scenario that’s unfolding in my mind for you. lol

    Unless you don’t want any energy going into that picture, in which case you might want to straighten me out by telling what happened!

    Either way, thanks for the delicious smile this morning, Crys! AND a powerful example of how it’s possible to be calm and find the feel good no matter the circumstance. You rock!!

  23. Paul. says:

    Wow, Crys!

    I want to be able to do this someday (soon). Thanks for the inspiring example!

  24. Crys says:

    Thanks for the positive feedback Paul and Jade.
    I’ve learned so much from Jeanette, I’ll bet you have too.
    Now about this rash . . .
    hee hee.
    Crys

  25. Steve says:

    I am new to this whole blogging thing, but i figured it could do me some good to spend some time with other people that might be having the same struggles.

    I am facing an, “I dont know situation” myself. Mybe someone has some advice. My laptop just died and I have been stressing about what to do about getting a new once since it is kind of a necessity for my work. I have the cash to buy a new one, but by doing so I will be placing myself in a financial bind (which is what I have been in for the last 4-5 months an am just now getting out of). I dont qualify for the financing and I am not really sure I want to ask anyone for help in fincnaing it for me. I just dont know what to do.

    Now, I know all of the LOA stuff to stay postive, visualize the end result, get in the good feeling before you act etc…etc… But these are the things I struggle with. I havent been able to find a methos that really works for me. I dont ever seem to fully let go and release on a consistent basis. When I do; good things happen, but inevitably things go bad again. The past always seems to bring me back to a reality of struggle. for some reason being consitently in a good vibrational place is a challenge for me. I can I do? I have reasearched all the methods read a ton of books and I have gained wisdom but not the manifestations I desire.

    HELP!

  26. I know one thing, Steve. When we treat money as limited and in short supply, it is.

    When I catch myself making a decision around the amount of money I perceive myself to have, I ask myself to remember that money is in limitless supply, and will show up in whatever amounts I’m willing to let it in.

    Then with an “abundant” mindset, I ask myself the question again about whether this is a feel good expenditure at the time.

    Sometimes I realize it was limiting money thoughts that kept me from finding the feel good of it (like when my ex asked me to buy him a house – I thought at first “I can’t afford to buy you a HOUSE!” and then after I remembered there’s tons of money for us all, and I asked myself if I wanted to buy him a house, I realized I was happy to help. And pretty soon a finance guy got me on the phone who explained what an easy peasy deal it would be.)

    OTHER times I find that I was just using money as the excuse not to go. Like when Russ wanted to vacation somewhere, anywhere, he just wanted to get out of town. And I was thinking, “Oh, but I just committed a couple grand to the workshop in California,” and “I really wanted to get my retiremend fund caught up” or “I should pay taxes this quarter” hee hee or “Don’t you want a new bedroom set instead?”

    and I see myself acting as though I can only have one or the other – when I remember I can have it all – then the decision is clear for me. I just don’t want to vacation. I know that won’t sound normal to my sweetie, but what about me is, huh? I want to stay home. Not because of the money, but I just like it here.

    So … anyway … that’s the FIRST thing I do – is get clear with money (and my gremlins who like to shove money up front to be the “fall guy”).

    Until you know what to do though, relax and enjoy the time while the knowing is coming to you. It will. The more you relax about not knowing, the sooner it comes.

    Really cool how that works!

    Having said all that – I invite others to pitch in, although since this is an older post, I’m not sure how much we’ll hear back. Or should I intend differently, Steve? lol

    Steve, in reading your last paragraph again, I would add that you might want to start changing your story about yourself. The way you’re telling it, Universe HAS to deliver the “bad things” again, because that’s what you’re expecting.

    A new expectation (aka story, belief, vibration) would bring new results. And until you get a new one on board, this is a strongly sabotaging story!!

    Know what I mean?

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