Fear or Intuition?

September 30, 2008 | 30 Comments »

How to tell the difference between fear vs. intuitionHave you ever wondered whether you were being driven by fear or intuition?

Those of us who have been trained to pay attention to our feelings and emotions sometimes get confused about whether it’s guidance or gremlins running the show.

For example, was it my intuition that told me I was in trouble in that hair stylists’ chair, or was it fear of change?  (Or both?!)

This seems a good topic to cover, since having confidence in your decision-making skills is always helpful.  Especially when fear seems rampant in the rest of the world.

So I wanted to pick your brains about how you tell the difference between fear and intuition.

To get the ball rolling, here’s what Michael Neill of www.genuiscatalyst.com wrote in a recent newsletter (edited for brevity):

The common sense/innate wisdom approach to life is nearly always available to us – but most of us spend so much of our time caught up in the whirlwind of our thought that we don’t notice it. And even when we do notice it, we’ll often ignore it hoping that our intellect can find a different answer more in keeping with what we hope will turn out to be true.

… nearly ever woman I’ve talked with who has come out the other side of a bad marriage has told me that she ‘knew’ not to marry the guy at some point before getting far enough down the aisle to say ‘I do’.

How to tell whether the “bad feeling” is inner wisdom or just fear?

– Wisdom often comes disguised as “common sense”, but in reality is extremely uncommon in usage.
– Wisdom is sometimes quiet but always clear
– Wisdom feels right, even if it doesn’t always feel good.
– Wisdom comes most often in the midst of inner quiet.
– Wisdom is always kind

Your wisdom is right there inside you, just waiting for you to allow it to guide you. You need only to be quiet and listen – when you relax into it, you’ll almost always know what to do.

Shell Tain of www.sensiblecoaching.com said in her September 29th issue of Money Knot:

Intuition is different from the charged emotion of fear. Intuition comes subtly and softly. Its tone is always neutral. An intuitive message may be negative, but the tone or delivery will always be neutral. If you are cranked up on the chemicals of fear you will not receive any messages from your intuition.

My best advice when you are in the fear based scary place is to not make any decisions or changes. Wait until you are in a calmer, clearer frame.

A couple years ago I wrote on the topic of how to tell the difference between Gremlins vs Guides:

  • Gremlin doesn’t move you into power; Higher guidance does
  • Gremlin is fear-based; Higher guidance is love-based
  • Gremlin rambles on and on with long explanations; Higher guidance comes in short “feeling” messages (inspiration, spark, inner knowing)
  • Gremlin makes your body feel tight, stuck, restricted, with shallow breathing; Higher guidance feels open and light

What do you think?  How do you know when fear’s in the driver’s seat versus when your intuition is in effect?

Would also love to hear real life examples of how you handle it!

 

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30 Responses to “ Fear or Intuition? ”

  1. Jerielle says:

    Excellent topic…and definitely something I often wonder about. For as much as I tend to ramble/analyze life, I know that I have pretty undeniable intuition about certain things. I probably have it about everything but it might be hidden by fear in other areas.

    I often literally can’t do things that don’t FEEL good to me….like taking certain jobs. I physically feel the negativity associated with it sometimes. I love that I am very in tune with it in regards to alcohol and such. I have a great internal censor and it pretty much keeps me out of trouble. The strongest one…being involved with someone (romantically) that isn’t right for me. That is one area that has always read loud and clear for me. Romantic relationships. I have hardly had them really. Not always, but often the situations where I am dating do not result in a real relationship. This has really bothered me at times, especially when I was 20 and thought I may never fall in love with anyone. A few short years later I did, and it became very clear to me that all those other times…it just wasn’t the right time or person. Many years past that now and only one other true relationship under my belt, I still have my moments wondering why it seems most other people live their lives experiencing the growth that comes from being a part of a couple many times. Sure I still entertain the notion that perhaps I am avoiding something I am truly “afraid” of…and hope I am not selling myself short, but honestly I am more inclined to believe that I must (for whatever reason) be single more often than not. Thankfully, though they are few…the relationships I have experienced have been good. I have NEVER been seriously involved with anyone who is harmful to me in any way. Though I feel like I could learn a lot more experiencing some of what other folks encounter I truly am SO grateful for my intuition when it is so loud and clear!

    Now…I have to clear things up so I can read those signals in other areas!

  2. Jerielle, I wish I had had that same gift … that one where you can’t force yourself to do something that doesn’t feel good!

    I’m the girl who got married despite that uncomfortable feeling in the background; the one who forced herself to go to work for five years (the first seven were fab!); and the one who occasionally still finds herself in front of a movie I knew better than to watch.

    (The last one, a gift from mother-in-law, was so awful I had nightmares ALL night long. Ugh!)

    The good news is I’ve learned a lot about how to not need a “good” reason to tell someone “no thanks.” And how not to question it when the insides are screaming “yes” all over the place! lol

    Great guidance we’ve got, when we tune in for it, huh? 😉

  3. Leslie Richter says:

    I thought you did a pretty good description Jeannette with your Gremlin versus guidance. Fear seems to come with long lists of should. Guidance never comes with should but is brief and to the point.
    I remeber once coming home from a visit with my mother-in-law who was quite a barricuda and I was desperate, just how was I going to deal with this situatuion. I stamped my foot and demanded an answer. I immediatley got the words just don’t react. Wow, I was shocked it took the wind right out of my sail sand I got it.
    Another time I was thinking of a client who had just passed away and I was wondering how he was doing, what he was doing? It was a question that just came straight from my heart. I looked out the window and there was a lone eagle doing his circle dance in the sky! I thought oh, I guess he is doing alright.
    When you have no expectations, when questions are clear and clean, answers come quickly and immediately, you just have to be open to them. And recognize that guidance comes the way it comes, whether it is a vision, words, a feeling or an action.
    There is no big long explanations with guidance, no worries, no clauses, no concerns of what other people would think, that clearly is fear.

  4. That’s a good tipoff, Leslie. When we hear a “should” it’s likely fear-based, isn’t it?

    I’m having trouble thinking of a single exception!

    Thanks for the examples of how you’ve connected and heard the intuitive voice. I agree that releasing the expectations is a big key to being able to hear it.

    PS – the “just don’t react” advice is probably a good one for lots of us to remember in challenging situations!

  5. Kim Falconer says:

    I was also one of those girls who knew the marriage was a mistake but went through with it anyway, and hung in there for years past the ‘use by’ date. My inner guidance was speaking to me, but the fear of letting someone down, going against the expectations of others and missing my chance at what should have been a good match kept me from listening. Guidance gave me every sign possible: a calm feeling in my guts saying, this isn’t you, his divorce papers not coming through until the last moment, the wedding celebrant having to leave town the day before on urgent family business, the ceremony grounds being locked, no attendant to unchain the gates, the day of…but I did it anyway because streams of babble told me I should.

    For me the big difference between fear and guidance is in the delivery–fear = high volume, high word count, guidance = simple, concise. If it’s more than a short sentence or a single symbol, it’s probably fear!

    I have a recent example that I will come back later to post. What a great topic, Jeannette.

    Thank you everyone!

  6. Ha – “use by” date – you’re funny, Kim!

    Is it wrong that it makes me feel better to have heard this wedding story from you, Kim? lol I hope not!

    Well, we live, we learn, don’t we? 😉

    Thanks for posting, girlfriend!

  7. Angie Lay says:

    Wow, Jeannette!

    You couldn’t be more right on with the fear-based thinking stuff! I’m a prime example of ignoring the inner wisdom and suffering the consequences (uh… can we all recite, “I will not ignore my inner voice” together?)

    I just left a horrid marriage a few weeks ago and fear has gotten the best of me lately! I slip back into the fear (lack thinking tends to breed it, doesn’t it) and find myself snowballing before I know it. But then I wake up and think, “Hey, you – yeah YOU. You KNOW better” and then the fear doesn’t seem quite so powerful.

    I, too, “just knew” not to marry my husband but ignored the red flags. (the topic of my next book, btw…) I sometimes wonder why we let fear get the best of us!

    As usual, your posts get those little wheels in my head turnin’… Keep up the great work!

  8. Congrats, Angie!

    We get it figured out eventually. 🙂

    I also like the perspective where we look back on those times we ignored intuition that seem like they didn’t serve us, and recognize that they DID serve us. Somehow, someway, we benefited. We grew, we learned, we experienced – SOMETHING good came from it.

    I, for example, learned how to tell whether I wanted to be married or not. lol That gift has served me well!! Through one other engagement and two proposals – it’s nice to HEAR the guidance loud and clear on that topic from now on.

    So there is that to be grateful for. he he

    Thanks for posting, Angie! Much appreciated and enjoyed!

  9. Kim Falconer says:

    We live, we learn! That’s a favorite saying of my Libra Mom! So true, and I love both: living and learning!

    Angie, I like the sound of ‘waking up’ before the snowball rolls too far! I found that immersing in self love, I mean really looking after myself like I would a cherished visitor 24-7, is very supportive for those early days after a big break up. Actually, they are supportive for every day of our lives! And listening to Inner Guidance is a form of self-love!

    I wanted to share an example of how my Inner Guidance got my attention recently.

    I found in the last week everyone was interrupting me –and I’m not a shy communicator! But suddenly people on the phone were talking without pausing for breath and others were asking how I was but then just talking right over the top of my answer. It kept up until I mentioned it to my friend who said, ‘why do you think you are attracting that?’

    I said ‘I guess I need to listen better,’ but she assured me I was a profound listener. ‘Maybe not always,’ I thought.

    Then Jeannette and I were talking and she said, ‘listen to your inner guidance’ and it went click. THAT was who I was talking over–not giving a chance to speak. With the subject in question, I was not pausing to hear an answer but spilling out a running commentary on the topic wondering why I wasn’t getting any guidance.

    I meditate twice a day, every day but when it came to this question I wasn’t letting a word in edgewise! As soon as I stopped to listen to my IG, all the interrupters in my life vanished! (and I got some guidance)

    Jeannette, I am in awe of how timely ALL your posts are! Thank you.

    xxx Kim

  10. Kim, you’re a hoot!

    Kudos for your ability to inquire and let answers appear. You DO make it look so easy!

    Nice releasing of the interruption. You’re an inspiration!

  11. Steve says:

    Boy, I certainly wish I was dead-on in knowing what was intuition, and whatr was self-doubt or fear-based decision making. Some obsevations: whenever “the little voice” in my head is using words, often beginning with “YOU should…” that’s a tip that it’s a gremlin. And whenever that guidance comes as a Feeling (not words) of what action to take, it’s a matter of trusting and not second-guessing that feeling – because intuition is that gut feeling. But all too often, that’s where the inner dialogue starts – just after the “feeling”, when self-doubt of our intuition lets the gremlins in to work their mischief.

  12. Steve, your last sentence is making me laugh!

    Because I can relate!

    I think many of us can.

    It often becomes a matter of sorting it out, huh?

    Or perhaps the better approach is not to “sort it out” but rather just get quiet so that feeling/intuition has more room to be heard.

    At any rate, thanks for reading and for posting, Steve!

  13. Paul. says:

    Nice topic, Jeannette!

    I’ve been mindful of this issue as I’ve journeyed on my career quest, trying to make sure which gut feelings were Guidance and which were actings-out of an internal 5-year-old.

    I think you summed it up nicely when you said it was in the volume (both of the emotion ad amount of the “message”).

    The topic reminded me of my decision to close my store. I would joke that the building was the Amityville Horror as it kept saying, “Get out!” The massage got louder and more frequent over 2 years until I finally heeded it. 😉

    “Well, we live, we learn, don’t we?” Amen, Jeannette! That is, if we’re doing it right. (Or else we get to revisit the lesson all over again. And with some lessons, once was more than enough for me, thank you very much. 😉 )

  14. Kristy M says:

    I’m a theatre geek 🙂 and this made me think of a song from the show [title of show] called “Die, Vampire, Die”. The singer describes bad feelings as ‘vampires’ and goes on a list of many different ‘vampires’. She ignores the vampires and helps her castmates do so as well.

    That has become a saying of mine now.. whenever I have fear or bad thoughts.. Die, Vampire, Die :)…

  15. Paul – you’re doing great!!!

    I’d be grateful had I heard/heeded MY “get out” message within two years. 4.5 for marriage; 5 for miserable job.

    But I can say this – I’ve definitely gotten better at it.

    Kristy, your “Die Vampire Die” I’m sure will be used by many reading here! The laugh factor associated with that is powerful, too. ha!

    Thanks for posting, you two. Great conversation you’re leading us into!

  16. Great post! And such wonderful replies!!

    I think it really boils down to two things:

    1. Higher Self / Inner Being always speaks softly but persistently.

    2. Do only what feels good.

    Anything else leads to more and more of what I don’t want.

    I just had an example today of this, by the way. My siblings and my mom and me are on a group cell phone plan. It’s under my sister’s name. And on Sunday, while I was at her house, I kept getting the nudge to ask her about the bill. But she was dealing with some major life issues and I didn’t want to bother her.

    I got the nudge probably three or four times on Sunday. A few more times on Monday. And then all went quiet on Tuesday.

    Today, my cell phone didn’t work all of a sudden at around noon. Turns out the bill was past due and all that (partly because of my sister’s major life issues).

    We got it turned back in a matter of minutes. But the scramble caused a bit more chaos and confusion, heaped on top of other things. We could have handled this on Monday (or even Sunday, thanks to the internet!) and all would have been well.

    Then, of course, I see Jeanette’s tweet about this post and feel drawn to read it…. Thank you Higher Self — I get the hint!!!!

  17. Jerielle says:

    Kristy!! I LOVE “Title of Show”! One of the main reasons is because of that song! I am going to post a link to hear the song in case anyone would enjoy it.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9DDdM66_nSI

    I don’t think there is any footage of them performing it. If you live in NYC you should definitely see it before it closes on October 12th. These people are an inspiration to all for SO many reasons!

    As for me…there are definitely some times when I have a harder time understanding which choice I should make. I may make lists of pros and cons…but that never helps since one con can mean more than 3 of the pros. I have even attempted to make up a rating system for my pros/cons to see if that makes a decision easier. But it basically ends up the same. So what I need to do is just take a moment (we always can do this, even when it seems we can’t)…just take a moment and stop weighing all the options…stop trying to figure things out. I focus on the question at hand and I listen for the relaxed answer/feeling. Sometimes it is an actual “yes” or “no”…sometimes it’s just a feeling, but it’s there. I just need to get quiet enough to hear it and trust it. In some situations I get so wrapped up in all the “what ifs” that this is all I can do. And it hasn’t failed me yet. How much easier would it be if I could just do that to start with!

  18. tarielle says:

    I have been living with fear and anxiety for the past few months because my 3 year old little jack russell doesn’t get along with the new 4 month old guide dog puppy we now have. Every time I see them together and my dog starts snapping my fear and anxiety levels go into overdrive. I know that my sis doesn’t have these problems when she has all the hounds together so why is it just me? Is my pooch picking up on my fear and acting more aggravated? Probably yes. So, my wise self is telling me that all the animals love each other, that there is peace in my home and that I should learn to calm myself down. This is what I am going to practice from now on. I mean, how hard can it be to take control of a 4 month old puppy for heaven’s sake.
    Lately I have been getting myself worked up over all this way too much and all rational thinking goes out the window.
    I’m going to grab my gremlin around the neck, lock it in chains, put it in a big steel box, weld the box shut and then launch it to the farthest reaches of space……never to be heard from again!

    Feeling much better now with that last thought!

  19. Jerielle says:

    oops. I am actually Jerielle not Tarielle. (yeesh!)

  20. And yet another G R E A T topic! Whaoo.

    Me, I’ve now learned this little trick (yes, do what is fun) — A rating of 1 to 10 — Ten being the highest.

    Ask yourself — how does this make me feel? Is it a 1 or 10 — anything under 5 is a NO.

    For instance —
    *Would I like a drink of water — YES A “10” —
    *would I purchase that “xxxxxx” (fill in the blank) item when I do not really want it — NO A “3”
    *would I like to go to dinner with a friend on Thursday night — hum, that could be a 4 or a 9 . . . I love my friend and always like to be with them – Thursdays are not good for me as I awake at 5am on Fridays — So this would be a NO – the “4” rating is what I would go by and see if my friend could go on another day.

    Simple and really helped me a lot!

    Cheers, P.

  21. PS — the higher rating (for me) shows me that my ‘radar’ of trusting my gut is a High Vibe and the lower rating is something else — not really fear but not what I should be doing.

    Fear — so, if I want to do or participate in something — and the rating is under ‘5’ I would avoid it, not out of fear, but because of the low vibe.

    Yes, I’ve done the ‘stuff’ even when I wasn’t in alignment with that (marriage, job, trusting someone, expensive purchase (home/car/vacation) if you can name it I most likely partook in it!) Now I know to Trust — Trust Me and the Universe . . . a Great Feeling to live with indeed. Cheers, P.

  22. Angie Lay says:

    Jeannette –

    Glad you finally figured out the “married or not” vibe! Hopefully some of that will rub off on me!

    Kim – Thanks for the tip about implementing a little extra self-love during this time. I’ve been running around worrying about everything and everyone but myself. I’m remedying that tonight. Thanks again for the reminder.

  23. Jerielle says:

    Wow…I was SO confused! I’m so sorry Tarielle! You are you…and not a typo I made! I have never met anyone with your name before! I am sorry I thought that was my post and I just misspelled my own name!

    I am also sorry you are experiencing this stress with the pups! You wrangle in those gremlins!! But please have some mercy on them and forgive them…for they know not what they do.
    🙂

  24. Paul. says:

    Kim, I love your Listening story. It reminded me of a lesson that one of my first teachers shared with (and a lesson I’m still learning, BTW 🙂 ). He told me, “God’s a perfect gentleman; He will wait ’til you’re done talking before speaking.”

    How beautifully you’ve demonstrated what he was talking about! (And thanks for the reminder of self-love; I forget that way too easily, I’m afraid.)

  25. Tarielle says:

    Hello Jerielle,

    Love the name, a bit like mine I guess so I see how you got confused.
    No need to apologise. Nice to meet you btw.

    We had a humungous (is that a word?) break through with my pup over the weekend. Seems she has miraculously transformed into a real little social butterfly. We went for a walk in the park (all 3 dogs) and she went up to some other people’s dogs to say hello with no sign of being fearfull at all. I nearly died of shock as she has never been friendly to another dog in her life so far.
    Was I happy dancing and squealing with delight or what!

    Miracles really do happen. After me being so fearfull with her condition she turned around and shocked my socks off. Goes to show that when I changed my attitude towards the problem, she followed my lead.

    This LOA stuff is truly amazing and I am incredibly blessed that it is working in my life.

    Those gremlins are out past Jupiter by now no doubt.

    He he…..

  26. Vanessa says:

    I have just been dealing with this exact topic. I have just made a major business investment that even though my inner voice said it was the right thing to do, even essential, my gremlins had been screaming fear! doom! too risky! I hadn’t slept through the night for over a week (is it just me or are gremlins more powerful at night?). So even though I still felt in my gut it was right, my chest was tight and I was losing sleep!

    A couple of nights ago I woke up again at 3am and my chest immediately tightened up – but this time, something wonderful and wierd happened. I got the inspiration to try to view my fear from a distance, so I imagined myself almost floating above this poor girl curled up in bed, scared to death and unable to sleep. I was filled with such a sense of empathy and compassion, like I might feel if a friend was in that situation, that I felt a warm flood of calm, my chest relaxed and I have been sleeping like a baby every since!

    I think I knew that the intuition and the fear were separate things, but it took a bit to tease them apart!

  27. Jessica Earl says:

    I agree with you Jeannette- Kim is a hoot! 🙂
    I’m glad you shared your experience Kim, as I had that similar thing happen lately. Everyone is just talkity-talk right over me?! Even after I was the one asked a question… I’ve been getting a lot of nudges to take more time for listening to my IG and for some reason keep resisting. It is crazy really. I have NO idea WHY, as my heart, mind, soul and body knows how GREAT I feel when I meditate regularly and take time for myself.

    So, on another note, I wanted to share my fear vs. intuition story, and oddly enough, it is about marriage also. I recently married and I am still sort of in shock at the whole process. In past realationships I always wondered how I can know if it is “right”. I would analyze, and think, and seek for IG. This time, it all just fell into place, and listening to Kim’s story about all the clues leading up to that, I realized just how many clues I rec’d that is was right. Everything fell into place. Really, I had so little to worry about. I didn’t have a lot of calls and people booked, etc. It went against all the “norms”… oh, book your (whomever) so many months in advance. I just did it when I wanted to. I only had to find “one” person, and that “one” always worked out fine- DJ, caterer, rentals, etc. Turns out most of them all recommend each other, but I found them (LOA I guess delivered them to me) all on my own, independently some how! Oh, so I got off track with my excitement. So, sometimes I sit back and wonder how my life has just been turned “upside down” in a blink, mostly just the speed at how different my life. I usually take things so slow, so calculated, etc. My mind gets in there and wonders how it all happened, yet I know the calmness in my being that says “Ahhh, it is right”.

    So here I am set to go change my name, and I am SO draggin my feet. I’m like, Jess, what’s up? Why are you so hesitant. I’m questioning if it is fear or intuition. Hmmm. Then Jeannette with her perfect timing posts… haha…

    So here’s how I figured it out… when I think of the end result after my name is changed, and I’m using it and everyone knows me by it, and my daughter, he and I all have the same last name as a family, I feel contented, happy and “right”. It is only when I think of taking the actions to go through the process that I get that icky feeling. So, I’m seeing it more as fear. I am looking at the “mound” of paperwork, at the fear of losing my identity that I’ve had for 33 years, fear of combining finances/credit, and just the mere speed of the change itself. So, once I realized what I was up against, it seemed to relax me and I felt “ready”. Yet I still didn’t find myself in the social security office like I anticipated. Maybe it simply isn’t the right time. Perhaps it is “right” (as the end result feels right), but there is a mystery reason for my dragging my feet. hmmm…

    All in all, at least I am finding the humor in it.

    And Paul, I just read your response to Kim’s… the quote about God being a perfect gentleman… I really like that perspective. I think of how humble intuition is, and yet how it can be insistent (unwavering) at the same time. It usually does seem so subtle unless we make a point of listening, then in that case, it is loud and clear!!

    thanks everyone!! I am glad I can share here and I love the variety of perspectives!

    Namaste.

  28. Jessica Earl says:

    Vanessa, I just read your post too… yes it was that sort of feeling I was getting with the name change. I knew it was right, yet I would get SO uncomfortable when I though of taking the steps to go do it!

    Thanks for sharing!

  29. Kathleen says:

    Hi there my name is Kathleen and I wanted a little guidance even though it seems like I have had all the guidance in the world I still feel fear and anxiety.

    My story is kind of long but I hope someone will bear with me and help me out here. To begin with I have had a whole life of pretty much horrible relationship examples. I got married at 18. And even though I loved him very much I knew I should not have gotten married. But I knew I shouldn’t have not because he wasn’t right for me but because I was too young and had too many hang ups to really handle an adult marriage.

    He and I have been apart for almost two years. He is stationed in England and I am in Las Vegas NV. Since then we have been through some very hard times. We got divorced less than year after we got married and even though I was angry at him because of what he did, I still thought in my heart of hearts that we should not have gotten divorced. He and I spent six months apart and not talking before we had an amazing reconciliation. Neither one of us wanted to be without the other. Now when we got married I was having a lot of anxiety. Now that we are back together and planning a life together I am getting anxiety all over again.

    Funny thing is, we are great for each other. We share a lot of the same views on major “relationship ending” issues. He is the only man I have met that truly loves me for all of who I am. Even at my worst he thinks I am the sexiest woman alive. He is attentive, warm, caring, great listener, great advice giver, and has done a LOT of growing up and maturing since we divorced. As cliche as it sounds I truly felt like from the first day we met, that I had known him my whole life. I feel such a sense of belonging with him and I felt like from that first day I knew I was going to love him.

    But now I am feeling the anxiety all over again and it’s driving me crazy. I have had everyone in my life, objective and not blatantly tell me we are going to be fine and we are great for each other. I have had nothing but dreams about unbelievable passion and love for him. I even had a dream of a young woman telling me everything will be ok with he and I and it is just past issues I am dealing with. I of course, took her as a spirit messenger.

    But now I am planning on moving to TX when he comes out here to the states to be stationed and I have so much fear and anxiety that it paralyzes me and makes me want to run away.

    One person on here had mentioned about asking for messages or guidance. One night I did that about our relationship and five minutes later, I found the copy of our original marriage certificate. Even through all this fear I have these wonderful uplifting powerful moments where I feel so happy, free and madly in love with this man I can’t even think. It feels soooo good! I LIVE for that feeling!

    But even after all of the great, all of the wonderful things I see in store for us and have felt in store for us, I keep having fears, anxieties and doubts and I just don’t know where this fear is coming from. Is it our relationship past? Am I afraid of the future? My parents divorced when I was young. My father was in a string of bad relationships. He was very emotionally unavailable and then committed suicide when I was fifteen. Could that be a part of all of this?

    I am just looking for guidance. It seems pretty obvious logically that he and I will be ok but I just can’t shake this literally paralyzing fear.

    Thank you for any help!

    Kathleen

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