If you wonder where it is or why it isn’t here yet, change that habit and recommit to your vibrational alignment.  (If you’re not sure what alignment is, read this.  Also, know that the question itself indicates misalignment.)

If you feel anxious that it better happen soon, check for releasing attachment.

If you have trouble focusing on what you want (from what already is), amp up your appreciation and/or work on developing your focus skills.

If you can manifest “small” stuff but not the “big” things that matter, it might be time to drop the need or make it less important.

If you’re experiencing strong feelings of jealousy for others who already have it, commit to improving your belief that you can have it, too.

If you have trouble believing it’s possible, remind yourself how the system works and what your true creative power is.  Hang out with others who believe in you.

If you don’t know whether you’re “doing it right,” chill out.  Relaxing goes a long way toward becoming a vibrational match.

If it’s been a while and nothing has happened, it might mean you’re not as lined up as you think you are.  Switch up your method for creating alignment.

If you’re worried about figuring out how or trying to make it happen, remember that’s not your job.

We’d all love it if you shared your tips and resources in the comments, or even additional obstacles to play with.  Together we’ll make this a great resource for working out the vibrational kinks to get what we want!

Other times, especially if it’s a really big dream of desire, it doesn’t work like that.

If you’re new to deliberate creation, this “how to” series offers the basics to start manifesting what you want, Good Vibe style.

If you’re not new to this work, these posts will re-inspire you about how easy it is to create what you want!

This is based on my experience as a deliberate creator and law of attraction coach, as well as absorbing a wide variety of manifesting resources (including Abraham, Chopra, Dooley, Canfield, Dyer, Assaaf, McTaggart, etc.).

The name of the game in getting what we want is Alignment!

Energetic (aka vibrational) alignment is your friend. That just means feel now how you would then.   Which usually boils down to feeling some sort of ‘happy.’  (Could be secure, free, successful, acknowledged, validated, loved, whatever.)

Here are 3 steps to creating that alignment. They don’t have to be done in any particular order, and even just one of them can make a world of difference in your manifesting success:

1.  Amp Up Appreciation
Some people have a nose for spotting lies. Others are good at drawing out drama in any situation. Maybe you know someone who has a gift for turning any comment into something sexual. Powerful manifesters develop a nose for Appreciation.  It becomes natural to them – their default setting.

Appreciation is a major key to creating alignment.  Getting in the regular habit of it just takes a little practice.  Or maybe a lot, depending on where you’re at.  But growing the skills of finding things to enjoy and be thankful for creates a powerful energetic path to your biggest and best desires.

Habits that build the thankful muscle include keeping a happiness journal, reading Pollyanna, hanging out with other happy people, listing 5 things you’re grateful for at the end of every day, etc.  Read more about developing appreciation here.

2.  Recover Lost Energy
Sometimes getting what you want is as easy as eliminating a big energy drain from your life. Anything that you’re tolerating drags down your vibe, keeping you from being a vibrational match to what you want.  By plugging the energy leaks and recovering your energetic integrity, you automatically raise your vibration.

How do you release tolerations?  First by recognizing what/who they are, since many of us have gotten so used to them we take them for granted.  Once you know what your leak is, you either get rid of it or get over it.  One way or another, find a way to feel better.

I’ve seen miracles happen for people who finally divorced, quit, or moved.   It sounds contrary to the principles of deliberate creation that we take action in order to feel better (normally it’s “feel better and then listen for inspiration”), but if you’ve got something dragging you down, address it now by eliminating key tolerations to dramatically improve your attraction power.

3.  Vibrate What You Want
Whether you call it Universe, God, the Matrix, the Field, etc.- source energy matches the vibrational signal you send.  (That’s that whole “like attracts like” thing.)

To get what you want, send the signal that says “Got what I wanted!” When you offer that instruction, Universe responds in kind by delivering the goods.  No matter how crazy or ridiculous or impossible the thing seems.  (Is that a cool system or what?!)

How do you vibrate “got what I wanted” before you have it?  That’s the fun part of being a deliberate creator!  Use your imagination and experiment with what you enjoy most.  Some possibilities:

• Some people do daily visualizations, running through the movie of their dream come true.
• Some journal it out in writing.
• Some script out loud (speak as if it’s happened.  We do it at GVU every month.)
• Some use affirmations (“I am” statements being particularly popular among deliberate creators).
• Some “act as if.”
• Some simply find a way to feel now how they would then.

However you do it, when you change your signal from “I want it” to “I am loving it” you are irresistible to success.

And, this is why everyone doesn’t do it.  It’s a bit challenging to break from “reality” and pretend we already got what we wanted.  Reality often gets in the way, disrupting our signal, or sometimes people just feel foolish vibrating what isn’t real yet.

But it works when you work it.

Since Universe can only send what you signal it for, you have to find a way that says “got what I wanted.”  ”All is well here.”  ”Life is good.”  ”Thanks for the win!”  Or something along those lines.  Every time you feel a yearning, dissatisfaction, or lack of fulfillment, that signal holds up the party.

Which is also why the Appreciation practice is so powerful – because in vibrating appreciation Universe hears that you are happy and loving life.  And sends in whatever else makes you feel happy and loving life!

Even if you can’t bring yourself to pretend that your desire is now a reality, if all you did was practice believing that it was coming soon, that optimism and faith serves as a powerful signal, too.

All three of these processes lead to one purpose: align your energy to what you want.  Deliberate creators don’t wait for something to happen before they feel good and get happy.  They get happy first, and then good stuff happens as icing on the cake.

The top 3 frequently asked questions (and their answers) are here, and you’ll find troubleshooting support here.  If you’d like more input, stay tuned for the upcoming free video series at Good Vibe U.

Feel free to share your tips or ask questions in the comments below.

Happy manifesting!  :)

My friend & I were discussing the law of attraction, and an interesting question came about:

Without creating an attraction of negativity for the future, how can a person remain present with a negative emotion (such as the sadness one might feel in the loss of a loved one) so that the negativity can be dissolved?

I suspect you guys will have excellent input on this one.  Is there a way to feel negative emotions without attracting more negative?

See you in the comments, and thanks for your insights!

You’ve noticed it, too, I’m sure.  How the things you don’t care about too much come together easier than the “big deal” desires of life.

It’s why the email from an old friend pops in the day after randomly thinking about them, but the phone hasn’t rung in weeks after interviewing for the dream job.

It’s why we can manifest a free lunch in the blink of an eye, but dropping the extra weight seems next to impossible.

People ask me regularly why the stuff they don’t care about happens so quick, while the things that really matter take forever.

* It’s the difference in the energy. *

When we make it a big deal, it might seem like that would light a fire under Universe to deliver it faster.

That approach might have worked with mom when we were little (which is probably why we default to it), but Universe doesn’t work that way.

That’s because when something really matters to us – when it’s a really big deal in our life, it’s common to have a “charge” on it that isn’t conducive to true vibrational alignment.

Feel it out for yourself … when something is really important it’s not unusual to feel a slight tension or anxiety, right?  It’s a stress signal that tells Universe all is not well here, that we’re on a little bit of edge.  Which is why it can’t deliver the goods since we’re not lined up for good news.  Rather, we’re lined up for tension, anxiety, more stress.

How do we get past that in order to let the “big” stuff manifest just as quickly and effortlessly as the “little” stuff?

The answer is to find a way to feel easier about it.  To lighten up.  To relax a little.  To treat it like the big deal it ISN’T.

Dropping the “charge” doesn’t mean giving up on the desire; it just means don’t make it a ‘life or death’ matter.

Because if your happiness or satisfaction is conditional on this result, you’re signaling Universe for a delay.  You’ve got to get happy/relaxed/peaceful/fulfilled first, then it can send in the goods.

I chill out a big deal desire in a couple of different ways:

by appreciating what’s already going right, and reflecting on all the things I already enjoy about my life.  That helps me release the “need” for this next thing to manifest.  Life is already REALLY good!  This will be icing on the cake, but I don’t have to have it in order to feel satisfied.

Sometimes I just remember that Universe might have an even better plan than I did, so while this thing might seem like a fabulous next step in life, I’m open that there could be something even better.  Thus, I don’t feel as attached to my idea.

Another way to replicate that aligned energy is to practice thinking of the big desire like it’s a small one.  I remember how I felt about something that happened really easily which helps me conjure up that “no big deal” feeling, and then practice feeling that way about this desire.

Sometimes I just remind myself that everything is easy to Universe.  There’s no difference between a huge pile of money and a good song on the radio.  A healthy body is just as easy as a smile from a stranger.  We’re the ones making some things harder than others.  And we can change that.

When we stop making things a big deal, when we remember that it’s all the same and that we don’t need anything to be happy anyway, we become much more powerful manifesters.

There is a way to make something a big deal that doesn’t kink the vibe.  That’s when we have strong belief or expectation and little attachment.  So it’s not that we have to never have another big dream again – it’s just a matter of making sure the energy is lined up.

Even if it isn’t the desire that we make such a big deal, some of us put pressure on ourselves to prove our deliberate creation skills. And that’s more energy that can kink the alignment, so let’s not do that, either.  <wink>

I’d love to hear how you let go of “big deal” anxiety to create stronger alignment to your desire, as well as examples of how something manifested after you stopped caring so much about it …

How do I stop caring about what other people think of me?

This question cannot be answered as such because it is predicated on a fiction. In truth, no one can ever know what anyone else is thinking. At best, they can make a guess based upon false assumptions.

If you will bear with me, I will create a metaphysical construct in which we can re-examine the dynamics of relationships and from that, reformulate the question to make it more useful.

To start with, we are each magnificent beings of light and love. We are both individual and All-that-is. How we are individual is that we each have a unique blend of spiritual gifts. And as such when we create, we expand the Universe in ways no other individual is capable of.

As a very powerful part of this creation of expansion, you chose to have a physical experience. When you created an idea of you that is very different from who you really are, a being of light and love. This idea of you is based upon millions of years of experiences, colored by your unique mix of spiritual gifts.

Anyone you have a relationship with also has a unique mix of spiritual gifts through which they have interpreted millions of years of experiences.

You may agree that an object is green, but your interpretation of “greenness” will be unique to you.  You may agree that a certain arrogant fuzzball is a cat, but your interpretation of what a cat is will be unique to you.

Because you have a unique interpretation of everything in your experience, there is simply no way you can know how anyone is interpreting you or anything else.

Therefore, we can also conclude that the way most people think of relationships is also a fiction. That is not to say we don’t blend reality, it is just slightly different than how we are used to thinking of it.

I have a relationship with Jeannette. I don’t have a clue who Jeannette is but I have assigned her the qualities of carefreeness, cuteness, slightly flirtatious, and a whole lot of fun. In essence, I have created a fiction of Jeannette that matches my unique point of view. She in turn cannot know me and has created her own fiction. In our blending of reality, Chip has a relationship with Chip’s idea of Jeannette, and Jeannette has a relationship with Jeannette’s idea of Chip.

Another way of saying this is I line up with a version of Jeannette that matches the vibration of my expectations. And Jeannette lines up with the version of Chip that matches the vibration of her expectations.

In the same way, you have a relationship with the idea of everyone one you meet. You have a relationship with the idea of every plant and animal you encounter. In fact you even have a relationship with the idea of every thought you think. And each idea you think carries with it a unique interpretation.

In other words everything you see about you is a projection of your interpretation. It’s all you baby.

You truly create your physical experience through your thoughts.

So let’s get back to the original question:

How do I stop caring what other people think?

We are still not quite there yet. No doubt you’ve heard the expression, “What you don’t like about someone else is what you don’t like about yourself.”

If you get that what you experience in other people is a projection of your vibration, what you are looking at in a person you don’t like is a projection of you.

Some examples of how this might work is:

If you are angry, you will attract the versions of people that will yell at you.  If you are feeling guilty, you will attract the versions of people that will punish you.  If you are feeling shame, you will attract the versions of people that will “put you down.”

So when you are worried about what others think, what you are really worried about is exposing yourself to yourself through the mirror of “other people.”

Now you can change the question to something more useful. You can ask, “What is it that I’m judging myself for that I’m not quite ready to face?”

Chip Engelmann is the founder of Light Tapping and known as the Law of Attraction “Fun Guru.”  Visit Chip at PracticalWizard.com and sign up for his free video series: the 5 Pillars of Practical Wizardry.

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and some of my favorite personal mantras:

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I LOVE to share Mike Dooley’s “It’s a good thing I’m rich” and Stuart Wilde’s “The trick to money is having some.”  But clients know me best for asking the question I learned from Abraham: “What’s the thought that feels better?”

What sayings are YOU known for?

But yesterday’s newsletter discussing the difference between powerful manifesting and irresponsible behavior flooded my inbox with the kind of comments I don’t usually get.

Here’s an unedited sampling:

Lisa M writes:

After I had children I would not even smash a spider or bug. .  I became more protective . . . . no worry and bring in “ lower vibration thoughts” ,  but “Common Sense with light” ? besides not wearing seat belts is Illegal . . that is close to keeping the change when the cashier accidentally gives you too much back. .  telling a white lie . . . “lower vibration”  Oh I did build a 300Million dollar company . . . Love to manifest

Kristel said:

It’s one thing to not wear a seat belt – you are just hurting yourself should something happen.  But do you really think that you are so powerful that you can control the will of your cats?  That borders on witch craft doesn’t it?

you are not God. Your point of view sounds a tad egotistical to me.  I would never put my beloved friends in danger. They can’t read, they don’t know Lilies are poisonous.  Would you leave out a potentially poisonous substance if you had a baby because you think you are so well protected?  If so, I certainly hope you don’t have children.

You seem like a very carring person who truly wants to help people and I have enjoyed reading many of the things you have written.  But the direction you are heading is not in line with my path.  It borders on a type of simplistic fanaticism that I think is harmfull.

Kindly remove me from your mailing list.

from Wendy (a colleague):

We are now living in a society that is driven by fear. Some of it is generated by companies that sell us things that will help us allay our fear (like sunscreen), but it has become close to a religion. If you are not living in a way that minimizes all known risks, you are treated like a heretic.  I’m glad you wrote a post on this. There is more to life than avoiding death and I agree living in fear brings in the things that we are most afraid of.

have a great day knowing full well you’re going to die. The choice is whether you spend your life worrying about dying or spend it enjoying your time here.

I laughed when even my good friend Croz wrote: “Are seat belts NOT compulsory in America?”

There were also notes like this:

Love this piece!  When somebody feels the need to curbside me and warn me about something- I feel like its a good check- in and as you say it’s done (as so many awful things are- out of love, lol!) and then, if I still feel my inner HELL YES-  I keep doing it!

Just wanted you to know I LOVED your recent message regarding powerful creators or irresponsible citizens!  When I read the blog about the guy who was out of work and spent his savings on an Alaskian cruise, I thought how great it would be to have that kind of faith, and lack of fear in one’s life! Wow! I’m not sure I could be that “throw it to the wind” but I admire people who can.

I refuse to take a flu shot even though I work in a hospital that almost makes it mandatory – I believe in perfect health and as such I am never sick. My collegues who do take the flu shot are always calling in sick and still get the flu despite the so called vaccination. Their belief that they are powerless over germs is their reality not mine.

Love this! Excellent piece of writing and really made me laugh . . . and good point!!!   I love you!!

1. Okay, but what do I do?  (As in, what action do I take?)
2. How long does it take?
3. How do I know if I’m doing it right?

I’m inviting readers to weigh in as well, but here’s my take on these commonly asked manifesting questions.

What actions to take?
So you’re activating appreciation, you’re dropping tolerations to raise the vibe, and/or working a manifesting technique to create alignment to what you want.  It’s pretty natural to wonder what action you should be taking to make your dream happen.

Savvy deliberate creators know they don’t have to do anything, other than what feels good. If it’s not inspired action, it will not help!  So unless/until you feel a big strong enjoyable urge to do something, skip it.  If it feels like a should, a supposed to, or any sort of effort or struggle, it’ll only slow progress.

Remember that Universe does the “hows” – you just focus on the “what.”  That’s where your true power lies.

How long does it take?
For the record, this is not a question that someone in alignment would ask.  That’s because if you’re doing a good job of appreciating life, having fun and acting as if you’ve already got what you wanted, you wouldn’t feel an “emptiness” or  impatience for something to happen.  Know that asking the question takes you out of the alignment that lets your dream come true.

Having said that, if you’ve done the work to get lined up with what you want, you’ll see signs or evidence of progress fairly soon.  A couple weeks at the outside; usually sooner.

If you’re not seeing those signs, either you’re not as lined up as you think you are, or you’re just not seeing things that are happening.  That’s a good time for a coach or group support.

Am I doing it right?
The key to knowing whether what you’re engaging is working is how you feel.  If you’re feeling better, you are on the right track!  It’s that simple.

If you’re not feeling better, then it’s time to switch things up.  The whole point of the Appreciation, Energy Recovery, and Vibrating It steps are to help raise your energy.  If you’re not feeling happier, more joyful, or at least lighter with some relief, then the work you’re doing is for naught.  In that case, chilling out may be the best solution for now.

We’ve got more FAQs about LOA posted here.  If you don’t see your question listed, feel free to ask it here.

Here’s to happy manifesting!

And we know alignment is the name of the manifesting game!

So it seems worth focusing on how to develop our appreciation skills as deliberate creators.  Here are tips for becoming a professional appreciator, but I’d love to hear yours as well in the comments.

Commit to it.
A key step to becoming a powerful appreciator is to decide it. Once you make the commitment, set an intention to create a focus on thankfulness in your life and it will serve you well.

Make a plan for it.
You’ll be more successful at building your appreciation muscle if you have a specific plan for how to engage it. It doesn’t have to be a big deal or a complex plan, but specificity supports success.  Even just naming five things you’re grateful for as you drift off to sleep can make all the difference.

Keep a happiness journal.
Make regular entries in a written journal to create a strong focus on what brings you joy.  It helps if you’re not obsessive about doing it every day without fail, but rather just making a gentle, relaxed commitment to posting regularly.  (I do mine publicly in the GVU forum.)

Hang out with other appreciators.
Energy is contagious, so by spending time with people who are natural appreciators rather than complainers sets you up for success. At the minimum, limit your exposure to those who have tendencies toward pessimism and negativity.

Study the experts.
When I hit a bit of a rough patch in life, dad insisted I read a copy of Pollyanna. She literally changed my life. Pollyanna is an appreciator to the extreme, and can’t help but rub off when you study her! Some have that same experience of Eckhart Tolle. (If you’ve got a particularly helpful appreciation model, please share with us in the comments!)

Get a dog. Or a cat.  (Or whatever else you might love.)
Set yourself up for easy, and fill your life with the things that are easy to love and appreciate.  For me, that’s animals.  For others, it could be music, good food, great books, fun exercise, a new friend, etc.

However you engage the habit of appreciation, you’re sure to find it makes a powerful difference in your vibration and thus your manifesting success.  Not to mention enjoyment of life!

Share your tips for building the appreciation muscle in the comments below …

Law of Attraction Success Secret #5: Drop the Agenda

Those of us who know how the system works can sometimes (maybe often) find ourselves working that system in order to get what we want.

That sounds innocent enough, right?  (In fact, isn’t that what we’re supposed to do?)

But if you’re ‘doing this’ in order to ‘get that’ – you’ve missed the boat.

Stay with me here, because really understanding this can be a huge boon to your manifesting practice …

You may be holding up your progress if you’re doing any of these things:

• putting together a vision board in order to manifest those things
• visualizing the desired outcome in order to create those results
• pray rain journaling to make it happen
• scripting out loud to direct what happens next
• doing nothing to make something happen (even Slackers slip!)

You guys, I probably do this a couple times every week.  That’s how easy it is to fall for!

The truth is, though, our highest alignment is found in genuine appreciation.

And we’re not truly appreciating when we’re only doing something in order to create change.  That’s doing it with an agenda.

Just like we’re not truly loving someone if we only do it to get them to love us back.  That’s not love; that’s emotional manipulation.

The purpose of manifesting techniques and exercises are to take us to a state of alignment via appreciation.

Which means: the most effective way to make a pray rain journal entry is to do it because it feels good, not to make it happen.  The real way to relax is to do it without trying to make something happen, because that’s not relaxing – that’s just efforting lying down.  The best way to visualize is to see what you want because it’s enjoyable to, not to ensure that’s what unfolds next.

Are you with me?

It means that if you’ve got an agenda to engage a manifesting method in order to create results, you would be better served to recognize that the real manifesting juice is in the vibration of appreciation.  That’s where we’ll find highest alignment to what we want.

All that means is that you’re best served when joy, love and appreciation are your real targets.

Here’s what Abe said about it recently:

“If you would spend just a little bit of time over the next few days just making lists of things that you appreciate from right where you stand, you would shore up a Grid that would begin to fill in immediately.

But if you do it because you want the Grid to fill in, rather than because you’re appreciating, then you’re not appreciating.  Then you’re trying to fill the Grid in.  And that’s what goes wrong with so many Deliberate Creators. You’re getting your cart before your horse.”  - Abraham, March 2012 in Orlanda FL

What I’m trying to convey here is that appreciation is the name of the game.  Any of those manifesting exercises we engage are designed to get us to that state of enjoyment and thankfulness now.  NOT to create that stuff we want so we can then get thankful and joyful.

Make sense?

It’s an easy distinction to miss, which is why it’s LOA Success Secret #5.  (Stay tuned for the next four.)

I’d love to hear your thoughts on dropping the manifesting agenda if you care to share.