1.  It’s Okay.

• It’s okay to think and believe and live different than you’re supposed to.
• It’s okay to watch tv, to enjoy it, and to admit it.
• It’s okay to say “retarded” and other politically incorrect things.
• It’s okay to play it safe; it’s okay to get risky; and it’s okay to be wrong.
• It’s also okay to paint while you coach.

It’s okay to do things different.

Actually, Martha says it’s more than okay, she says it’s crucial to do life your way.  Letting your Essential Self lead is the only way we’ll ever know happiness and joy.

Her story about refusing to cut her ski vacation short just because Oprah Winfrey’s producer wanted to talk about her guesting on the show is a prime example of:

1. how well Martha walks the talk and
2. how well that pays off.

Martha gave me permission to live life my way.  Thank you for that, Martha.

2.  Your Body Knows

If you’re ever not getting the clue about your life, you can trust your body to tell you.

It’ll take you out with a headache, back ache, or life-threatening illness if it has to in order to get your attention to create a new direction or decision for your life.  Your body won’t give up on you, and in that sense your body’s “illness signals” can be your best friend.

(Martha also taught how to hear those messages from the body sooner rather than later.)

3.  Learn from & Share with Others

Martha is a powerhouse of knowledge, and continues to learn every way she can.  Even though everyone looks up to her as one who has all the answers, she doesn’t play the “know it all” guru role.

She studies other cultures, other viewpoints, nature and animals, she reads voraciously and – she generously and enthusiastically shares her gained insights with others.

Lesson taken: Keep an open mind, and don’t keep it to yourself.

Those are three of my favorite things picked up from the incomparable Martha Beck.

If you’ve had the benefit of gaining life wisdom from Martha, please feel free to add to this Martha Love List by commenting below!

Related posts:

1. When the Magic List Isn’t Working
2. Gotta Love It to Lose It
3. What Would You Love Next?

On today’s LOA & Dating call with Laura Gevanter and Lisa Hayes, Robert shared the colloquialism that a chased dog will always run.

Very true!

And not just for dogs.

Desperate energy sends anything running!

I’d just emailed a family member telling them to make peace with impending divorce – because this clinging to the marriage was making their spouse want out all the more.

Robert’s comment reminded me of the trick that savvy dog owners use to get a loose dog to come home.

You simply get in front of the dog so they can see you, then run in another direction.

They follow.  They can’t help it.  Even if they’ve fallen for it a hundred times before, they have to join the running pack leader.  It’s what they do.

So I get out in front where Stinkerhead Koda can see me, which sometimes involves fast running.  I know neighbors think I’m nuts as I run barefoot across lawns and down streets in a totally different trajectory than the dog is, but that’s okay.  This is no time to worry what neighbors think.

(Just like in LOA work.)

I get out in front and then make a noise to be sure he knows where I am, then start running in a direction that leads us home.  (Even a big circle works.)

I can run right into the garage or backyard or front door and he gleefully follows.

Unless I turn around to try to catch him. Which sends him in a different direction immediately.

Or if I lose speed, he loses interest.  It’s got to be a full on sprint to keep him engaged!

I’ve learned not to look back to make sure he’s following, because a leader of the pack doesn’t wonder about that.  I have to run with confidence that he’s right behind me.

And it works like a charm!  (I’ve done this with enough foster dogs as well as my own to know its reliability.)

This is very similar to engaging the energy of whatever in the world we want to come to us.

1. Get out in front.
2. Be someone they’re happy to follow.
3. Show it a good time and it’ll join the party!

How does that work with men in the dating world? Have a good time with or without them.  Let them follow.

How does it work with money? Don’t make your happy life dependent on it showing up – get out, do your thing and it will find you.

The same with health, jobs, success, etc.

We lead with the energy that requires it to line up with us.

Joy, happiness, freedom – all those vibes work great for getting what we want to follow us home.

Or in the case of dogs, simple running will do.  hee hee

You know I love a post that gives me an excuse to use a dog photo!  Although this one would work best with video …

In fact, on the call Adrienne offered to run up and down the streets of New York to see how many men she attracted.  lol

(Adrienne, you’re a hoot!)

Anyway, my invitation to you is to see where you’re “chasing” and start leading instead.  You’ll like what happens next.

Related posts:

1. Dog Whisperer Wisdom for Manifesters
2. Call to Vibrational Action
3. The Michael Scott Sabotage: How to Spoil Your Success LOA Style

1. how important it is to be happy, have fun, and enjoy (i.e. get in the vortex) and
2. how often life presents challenges to do so.

Case in point:

My ex called last night to report one of his cats missing.  Turbo escaped through a basement door inadvertently left open, and despite late night hours of searching, calling, and checking with neighbors, the adventurous feline hasn’t been spotted.

Verrall was worried.  His anxiety-filled words to me: “Turbo’s gone.”

He recapped all the desperate action he’d taken to try to bring him home.

I told him to relax and let that cat come home after his big adventure is over.

I reminded him Universe can’t deliver “found” while you’re so strongly dialed on “lost.”

“So relax.”

He did one better … and went jet skiing for the day.

When I heard that he was spending the day at the lake, I judgementally thought, “Well, I might have stayed home to open the door for the guy when he shows up” – but the truth is you can’t deny the power of having fun to get what you want.

Which was interesting because I had just begun writing this post about when we justify pulling the plug on fun.

I’m talking about the situations we resign ourselves to going through despite the fact that it is absolutely no fun.

• Like taking those phone calls from family and/or friends that don’t feel appropriate to ignore.
• Or doing the household chores that simply have to be done.
• Or going to jobs we detest.
• Or doctor visits we don’t look forward to.
• Or life events like funerals, protest campaigns, PTA meetings and such.

There are some things in life we have come to expect that simply have to be done or gotten through even though there isn’t an iota of fun or happiness in it for us.

Which is pretty ridiculous when we understand the role that our energy plays in how life unfolds.

Because anything that isn’t a good time isn’t taking us where we want to be.

And yet we still do it sometimes, don’t we?

The last time I did it was when I (believed I) had to phone the tree spray company to find out what they did to make four bushes die in the backyard.  I wasn’t looking forward to the call; I didn’t want to argue about who was at fault and how they were going to fix it; and I certainly didn’t enjoy looking at the struggling plants.

I put the call off for several couple weeks, waiting for a more appealing option to reveal itself, but that didn’t happen.  So I finally bit the bullet and made the call.

That might be a sign!  Any time we feel like we’re biting the bullet, maybe we should skip it altogether – or at least re-think it to get on a better vibe!

Anyway, as expected, it wasn’t the most pleasant phone call of my week.  I had to be annoyingly insistent that they send someone out.  Which they reluctantly agreed to do at the beginning of the week.

Which gave me time to realize how un-fun I was making this whole experience.

Luckily, by the time the guy showed up I had committed to having fun in this experience.

I intended we have a good conversation and that I felt treated like gold, which is exactly what happened.

Their guy explained how our extremely wet spring allowed for more fungus growth than usual, which two bushes were falling victim to.  He explained to me how he knew that, and it made perfect sense.  He also explained what was happening to the other two bushes, which had nothing to do with spray treatments.

We joked a little bit about how I had no idea what could have done them in other than his company.  He was very sweet about it!  He let me pick his brain for thoughts about a couple of other things in the yard (a bare spot in the lawn, an evergreen with spider mites), for which he generously shared resources and tips.  It was a fun conversation!  (And for those of you who know about my handsome man vibration – yes, he was cute, too.)

So here I had believed that calling to complain about service wasn’t fun.  And I very easily left that element out of this equation, because we KNOW that sort of thing isn’t any fun.

That’s worth questioning.

And if we really can’t find the enjoyment in it, then it’s worth questioning that we do it.

Right?

Because the bottom line is that if it’s not fun, or we if we can’t find some enjoyment in it, why do it? Abandoning the enjoyment is an upstream journey and we all know everything we want is downstream!

I also believe it’s possible to find the fun in just about anything once we intend it.

So let’s not be so quick to pull the plug on fun.  Because the truth is skipping the fun, enjoyment and happiness is like taking the long road to our happy ending.

And we know better than that. 

UPDATE: Turbo returned home on his own just before midnight on the day my ex went jet-skiing. Yay!

Related posts:

1. More Proof that Vibe Trumps Action
2. Energy Dynamics in Relationship
3. Call to Vibrational Action

Instead of writing first and then finding a photo to accompany the article, I’m starting with the photo.

It feels like another way to let Fun lead!

In fact, that’s why I’m so glad my marketing guy hasn’t gotten much done this summer.  He’s been busy skydiving, which is a major love in his life.

(He’s in Florida right now celebrating his 18 year old niece’s birthday by taking her on her first skydive!)

We deliberate creators know how important it is to make plenty of room for our passions and interests in life. That’s who I want investing in my business!  A guy who’s fully engaging what he loves.

It’s why I regularly encourage my sweetie here at home to get his golf time in.  Competitive golf is what he loves and does almost every day, weather permitting.  (And he’s not afraid to get on the course in blazing heat or signs of snow, so his season is long.)

I know the more he does what he loves, the better boyfriend he is.

Because it’s important to lead with joy; to go with what’s fun; follow the laughs; and indulge our inner child.

It’s not just a rewarding way to live in and of itself, but it also creates powerful vibrational alignment lining us up with what we’ve been wanting.

So when I lead with the fun (and for me, different is fun), and look for the photo that inspires the words, this “shaft of light in the storm” picture got my attention.

It reminds me how easy it is for us to see things differently.

One might see it as tumultuous and stormy; another as hope and divinity.  Like half empty vs. half full, right?

Like the difference between these two dogs tonight …

… after finishing his steak treat for dinner, Koda is over here rolling on his back with the kind of satisfaction that makes him look like he’s died and gone to heaven.

While Joe, on the other hand, is sniffing around anxiously to see if he missed some.  No matter how much he eats or how good the meal, Joe is always looking for more.

In fact, Russ suggested I not waste any steak on Joe since he doesn’t taste it anyway.  ”Toss him a fry and he won’t know the difference.”

I have to admit he might be right.

Which makes me wonder, where do I gobble down the goods without properly noticing or appreciating them?  When do I look for more instead of being full with what already is?

I want to be the one who draws out the enjoyment and maximizes the pleasure, quick to laugh for any reason, and the last one out of the pool … but I do see lots of Joe in me, with a gift for spotting the problem in the midst of the pleasure and a quick eye for how things could be better.

So, if there’s a point to this post, it’s that there doesn’t always need to be a point, other than having fun.

Do what you love for fun’s sake; not because it’s where the money is.  Do it because it appeals, not because it makes sense or is what you’re supposed to do.

Listen to your heart, don’t take it too seriously, and be sure to enjoy your steak.  ;)

Related posts:

1. Drawing the Line on Love?
2. Gotta Love It to Lose It
3. My Martha Beck Love List

Which is where you all come in. 

Here’s Kerry’s question:

How do you know what action to take? I hear over and over that you visualize what you want and focus on that instead of the bad stuff. Then you all turn around and say you have to do stuff too!

I’m totally okay with that, it’s just I don’t know what to do. And you say you have to be okay not knowing how it’s going to happen.

Which leads me to wonder… if you don’t know how it’s going to happen, how can you take action towards it? Is it just a matter of doing what will make you feel best, even if it terrifies you? Or is that only part of the equation?

Quite confused, a little scared too.

What say you, Wise Ones? 

What suggestions or advice do you have for Kerry who wonders what action to take if you’re not supposed to worry about the “how”?

I’ll see you in the comments …

Related posts:

1. Don’t Know What To Do?
2. Call to Vibrational Action
3. Action is Mediocre at Best

I thought about my wonderful dogs, family, friends, clients and sweeties.  About all the great times and happy circumstances, gorgeous environment and beautiful things.  About great helpers, supporters and resources.

And quickly realized I was leaving the most important people and things off the list.

Because we know where the good stuff really originates … it starts with all the jerks and problems and things gone wrong in our past.

We know that all our good stuff is seeded by the crap.  That’s where all new desires come from – the “don’t wants,” the jerks and the problems.

So with that in mind, I hereby offer proper acknowledgement to some of the people and things I owe my wonderful life to:

• thank you, 15 extra pounds, for being so persistent in teaching me to love myself unconditionally
• thank you, dark side of corporate America, for caring more about your bottom line than employees and customers, which inspired me to do work I could be proud to put my name on
• thank you, people who didn’t “get” LOA, for inspiring me to rendezvous with those who do
• thank you, family who wasn’t always in touch, for teaching me to feel and know your love even when it wasn’t obvious
• thank you, awful lovers, for serving as catalysts to the fabulous men who followed you!
• thank you to every disconnected jerk who mistreated an animal, for leading me to the most generous and loving animal advocates I could ever meet
• thank you to every friend who betrayed, manipulated or disappeared, for bringing me Verrall and Pam and other fabulous friends
• thank you to every frustrating traffic jam and downtown concrete jungle that led me to these amazing walks in nature so close to home
• thank you to every money worry that brought on this much appreciated state of financial prosperity!

Indeed, thank you, Contrast, for all you’ve done to inspire me to a better life!

I am where I am now thanks to you.

We’ve done beautiful work together, and with that benefit of hindsight, it becomes easier to look forward to more.

Related posts:

1. Woman’s Best Friend?
2. Animals and LOA
3. My Wild Siamese

In fact, I think Michele has superseded the traditional definition of Superwoman to create a whole new one that all us deliberate creators (guys and gals alike) would do well to embrace.

Before I explain, let me share two recent stories …

This morning as I settled onto the couch to spend more time with Michele’s book, I had the overwhelming feeling of being an incredibly lucky girl.

Not because the house was clean, the emails were caught up, and the dogs were properly fed.

Quite the contrary.

There was a ton of stuff that needed doing.

And still, without a whiff of guilt, I settled on the couch to read one of my best friend’s books of wisdom.

While my sweetie golfed.  And the dogs slept.  And the cats watched the birds outside the window.

I thought it surely it doesn’t get any better than this.  A whole delicious day to do whatever I please with it.

Indeed, a whole delicious life to do whatever I please with it.

A life led by my joy.

Which reminds me of the Abraham quote Matt recently shared at GVU:

“Your quest for joy should be the same as your quest for water to survive.”

Indeed, joy is a big deal.

That’s one lead-in story.  Here’s the other:

Yesterday a friend (and client) told me about her 88 year old mother who is losing her will to live. While mom’s health isn’t fabulous and she’s restricted to an eating plan that eliminates salt and cholesterol, there isn’t any physical reason she should be withering away in body, mind and spirit.

My wise friend, upon noticing that mom’s depression is affecting her appetite, suggested:

“Mom, since you don’t have anything to lose, why don’t you go ahead and start eating your favorite foods again.”

Since mom wants to die anyway, there literally is no downside to eating her favorite ice cream and chips and such.

Mom followed the suggestion and quickly experienced a noticeable improvement in attitude.  (I’d go so far as to call it a dramatic improvement.  She was sounding spunky again!)

As I reflected on her renewed zest for life by simply eliminating eating rules and honoring her food joy, I thought about how nice it would be for all of us to realize we also have nothing to lose in following our joy.

Which brings me back to Michele’s book.

In chapter 2 Michele shares her “Disillusionment Theory” as to why women’s happiness has been shown to steadily decline after age 47.

Michele suggests that to be happy in mid-life, women should focus on what brings them joy and make that their life priority.  That misbehaving, forgetting about what other people think, and throwing out the rules might be exactly what we need!

(You know this message is music to my ears!)

Then in the following essay, Michele writes that we are best served when we engage things for the JOY and fun of it – not because of the results it’s supposed to generate.

For example, learning for the sake of learning – not just because of the job it will qualify us for.  Or running for the sake of running, not just because your marathon training schedule requires it.

Her message is to indulge yourself, to enjoy your life, and to honor what your heart calls for.

I have to say, that’s exactly my idea of a Superwoman.

Related posts:

1. Guest Post: Michele Woodward on Alignment
2. Resistance-1, Allowing-0
3. Q&A: How to Let Go?

Imagine a world where very early on parents teach their children how important – and yet challenging – it is to find good parking spots.

They’d be led to believe that getting good parking is the ultimate sign of success.

Their conversations might go something like:

“It is very important that you plan ahead to get good parking spots in life,”  and

“It’s no fun to go through life being parking lot challenged.”

We might be trained that people who get good parking spots are somehow superior.  That life is easier for them.

Some of us (who don’t get good parking spots, or who didn’t come from good parking spot families) might even judge them for it.

We might take pride in walking across the parking lot great distances.  We might tell stories about how it’s our karma, because we must have abused parking spot success in a past lifetime.

Radio stations would be repeatedly play songs about dreams of great parking, and the heartbreak of its elusiveness.

College girls would be on lookout for the best parkers (so they don’t have to get their own parking spots).

The very best parking spot people might host reality tv show contests to teach others how to get good parking.  They might appear on covers of magazines alongside articles entitled: “10 Steps to Get the Best Parking.”

When we saw someone down on their luck, we would know without asking that they don’t get good parking.  Because after all, good parking is the key to freedom and enjoyment.

But, of course, that’s not how it is for us.

At least, not when it comes to parking.

We are, however, trained to believe in the challenges of other things in life.

As a result, many of us deliberate creators manifest parking spots quite easily, while we struggle with other stuff.

Time and again I hear new clients tell me they’re great at manifesting rock star parking, but when it comes to (fill in the blank with whatever really matters to them), they’re stumped.

It’s as if they hit an invisible (self-imposed) wall on their impossible topic.

But the truth is that thinking it’s hard to manifest money (or love or health or success) is just as ridiculous as thinking it’s hard to manifest parking.  Abraham tells us it’s all energy (size doesn’t matter) and that it’s just as easy to create a castle as it is a button.

The other thing is that when we don’t manifest our rock star parking, we don’t get our panties in a twist.  It’s easy to shrug off.

• We’re not doing Byron Katie’s Work on it
• We’re not tapping away to get to a better feeling place
• It doesn’t deter us from manifesting one tomorrow
• It doesn’t inspire us to join support groups for the parking spot challenged
• and we aren’t still talking about it the next day at work.

It’s simply no big deal!

Unlike when we don’t manifest Mr. Right or the big bank account or whatever else we consider important to our happineses and well-being.

In fact, imagine how easy it would be to manifest money if we were raised in the parking spot obsessed society!

If we weren’t trained that money is hard to come by (yet also crucial to enjoyment of life), imagine how effortlessly we would approach its creation!

My point being we can get hung up on ridiculous stuff, and getting hung up is what makes it hard to come by.

Get as easy with money, love, and health as you are with parking spots – and you’re home free.

It’s all easily and equally within our reach.

All we have to do is change our minds about it.

So the next time you’re feeling discouraged about not manifesting what you want, remember this tip from Andy Dooley:

“Every desire is a parking spot; and life is a game of zip zap zop.”

(And if you don’t know what zip zap zop is and how it relates to deliberate creation, attend one of Andy’s workshops!)

Related posts:

1. The Power of Perspective
2. How’s Your Gratitude?
3. Guest Post: Wanting a Relationship or Avoiding Single?

At least, we know that intellectually!

But in practice, many of us have our fair share of resistance flowing.

Whether it’s not liking that we owe money, or wishing we had more of it, feeling frustrated in a relationship, or frustrated from the lack of one - there are all sorts of opportunities for us to not like what’s going on.

Which is normal and expected.

Feeling contrast is part of the process!

But savvy creators know to minimize that part of the process.  There’s no reason for us to suffer, and pushing against the suffering isn’t the way through it.

Rather, we know we can experience what we “don’t want” and then swiftly use it as a launching pad to the good things it’s inspired us toward.

For those of us who spend more time in the resistance to what is than we’d prefer, let’s review:

One of the reasons we focus so well on the contrast in life (like the sick dog, mean lover, unreliable car, etc.) is because we think if we’re not paying attention to it and willing it to change, it won’t change!

We’re (often unconsciously) nervous that if we accept it as it is, we’re stuck with it.

Which couldn’t be more backwards.

Because things don’t change while we’re in resistance to it.  Desperately needing things to be different just reinforces more of what we don’t want.

So when I ask new clients to make peace with what is, they sometimes hear that as a request to give up on their desires, and are afraid that by doing so all hope for change will be lost.

Not so.

Getting okay with what is can take a leap of faith.  But when we do, we open the door to what often seems like “magic and miracles”!

Here’s what Abe had to say about it in Phoenix a few months ago:

We want to say it in a way that is really convincing to you. That making peace with What Is, is not settling for What Is. It’s settling for what IS, in the Vortex of Creation.

Did you hear the distinction?

What Abraham means is that when we get okay with what is right now, that’s not settling.  Instead, it’s actually opening us up to all the wonderful things we desire.

It means that when I get okay with the state of my business, body, bank account or whatever – that’s how I allow all the stuff I’ve been wanting to come into my world.

(And it is a matter of allowing, not figuring it out or making it happen.)

I like how Thich Nhat Hanh said it in You Are Here:

You do not have to struggle against a desire.  There is no need for a battle within you.  The essential point is not to create conflict, a fight, within yourself.

He suggests we embrace whatever negativity arises in our world and in our selves, rather than push against it.  That’s where transformation begins.

So what have you been in resistance to that you can practice easing up about today? 

Where have you been pushing for change, when you can instead embrace how it is, knowing that’s what puts things in motion again?

It’s taken some practice, but I’m finally getting the hang of being okay with this body just as it is.  And making peace with the dog who doesn’t always potty outside.  And my boyfriend who sometimes comes home from work ornery. 

Not only does this allow things to get even better for me, but it also gives me the pleasure of enjoying life as it is right now.

What could be better? 

I played with a variety of techniques in practicing peace (Katie’s four inquiry questions, simple deep breathing, and Paul McKenna’s work), but I’d love to hear what works for you when it comes to getting okay with what is.

Related posts:

1. Slumdog Inspiration
2. Gotta Love It to Lose It
3. Habits of Tension?

One of my favorite former clients sent a progress report this morning on her dream of building her business.

She’s becoming more visible in her community, getting more requests for pro-bono work (to sit on non-profit boards, speak for free, etc.), has had some paying clients and is talking to three new prospects as well as preparing to present for a paid speaking gig, BUT …

… while she acknowledges learning tons about business and sales and has come far in many ways, she is still not where she wants to be.

She knows she’s capable of more, she believes the Universe wants her to succeed, and she asked that the Universe show her how to do it.

I felt a Jerry Maguire moment when I typed this response up:

Universe will SHOW YOU when you SHOW IT.

When you see it happening; when you envision your success; and even better, when you’re FEELING it -

- when you’re holding those pictures at least as often as you’re holding the pictures of it not happening (which is what we do when we pay attention to the reality we don’t like and worry about what might not happen in the future) – Universe will not only SHOW YOU what to do, but it will be your agent – connecting the dots and making things happen on your behalf.

SEE it.

FEEL it.

Then you’ll soon be IN it.

Universe will show us the money when we show it what we want.

All we need to do is dial OFF of the reality we don’t want, and dial ON to the pictures and feelings and words of what we DO want.

We don’t mess with the hows or figure out how to make it happen or worry that it won’t.

We just give it the instruction (through what we’re focusing on and paying attention to) and then do what feels good.

Didn’t we get the easy part in this partnership?  ;)

Related posts:

1. Official Retraction: Russ’ Money Love
2. How Money Changes Things
3. Vibrating Money In