You’ve noticed it, too, I’m sure.  How the things you don’t care about too much come together easier than the “big deal” desires of life.

It’s why the email from an old friend pops in the day after randomly thinking about them, but the phone hasn’t rung in weeks after interviewing for the dream job.

It’s why we can manifest a free lunch in the blink of an eye, but dropping the extra weight seems next to impossible.

People ask me regularly why the stuff they don’t care about happens so quick, while the things that really matter take forever.

* It’s the difference in the energy. *

When we make it a big deal, it might seem like that would light a fire under Universe to deliver it faster.

That approach might have worked with mom when we were little (which is probably why we default to it), but Universe doesn’t work that way.

That’s because when something really matters to us – when it’s a really big deal in our life, it’s common to have a “charge” on it that isn’t conducive to true vibrational alignment.

Feel it out for yourself … when something is really important it’s not unusual to feel a slight tension or anxiety, right?  It’s a stress signal that tells Universe all is not well here, that we’re on a little bit of edge.  Which is why it can’t deliver the goods since we’re not lined up for good news.  Rather, we’re lined up for tension, anxiety, more stress.

How do we get past that in order to let the “big” stuff manifest just as quickly and effortlessly as the “little” stuff?

The answer is to find a way to feel easier about it.  To lighten up.  To relax a little.  To treat it like the big deal it ISN’T.

Dropping the “charge” doesn’t mean giving up on the desire; it just means don’t make it a ‘life or death’ matter.

Because if your happiness or satisfaction is conditional on this result, you’re signaling Universe for a delay.  You’ve got to get happy/relaxed/peaceful/fulfilled first, then it can send in the goods.

I chill out a big deal desire in a couple of different ways:

by appreciating what’s already going right, and reflecting on all the things I already enjoy about my life.  That helps me release the “need” for this next thing to manifest.  Life is already REALLY good!  This will be icing on the cake, but I don’t have to have it in order to feel satisfied.

Sometimes I just remember that Universe might have an even better plan than I did, so while this thing might seem like a fabulous next step in life, I’m open that there could be something even better.  Thus, I don’t feel as attached to my idea.

Another way to replicate that aligned energy is to practice thinking of the big desire like it’s a small one.  I remember how I felt about something that happened really easily which helps me conjure up that “no big deal” feeling, and then practice feeling that way about this desire.

Sometimes I just remind myself that everything is easy to Universe.  There’s no difference between a huge pile of money and a good song on the radio.  A healthy body is just as easy as a smile from a stranger.  We’re the ones making some things harder than others.  And we can change that.

When we stop making things a big deal, when we remember that it’s all the same and that we don’t need anything to be happy anyway, we become much more powerful manifesters.

There is a way to make something a big deal that doesn’t kink the vibe.  That’s when we have strong belief or expectation and little attachment.  So it’s not that we have to never have another big dream again – it’s just a matter of making sure the energy is lined up.

Even if it isn’t the desire that we make such a big deal, some of us put pressure on ourselves to prove our deliberate creation skills. And that’s more energy that can kink the alignment, so let’s not do that, either.  <wink>

I’d love to hear how you let go of “big deal” anxiety to create stronger alignment to your desire, as well as examples of how something manifested after you stopped caring so much about it …

How do I stop caring about what other people think of me?

This question cannot be answered as such because it is predicated on a fiction. In truth, no one can ever know what anyone else is thinking. At best, they can make a guess based upon false assumptions.

If you will bear with me, I will create a metaphysical construct in which we can re-examine the dynamics of relationships and from that, reformulate the question to make it more useful.

To start with, we are each magnificent beings of light and love. We are both individual and All-that-is. How we are individual is that we each have a unique blend of spiritual gifts. And as such when we create, we expand the Universe in ways no other individual is capable of.

As a very powerful part of this creation of expansion, you chose to have a physical experience. When you created an idea of you that is very different from who you really are, a being of light and love. This idea of you is based upon millions of years of experiences, colored by your unique mix of spiritual gifts.

Anyone you have a relationship with also has a unique mix of spiritual gifts through which they have interpreted millions of years of experiences.

You may agree that an object is green, but your interpretation of “greenness” will be unique to you.  You may agree that a certain arrogant fuzzball is a cat, but your interpretation of what a cat is will be unique to you.

Because you have a unique interpretation of everything in your experience, there is simply no way you can know how anyone is interpreting you or anything else.

Therefore, we can also conclude that the way most people think of relationships is also a fiction. That is not to say we don’t blend reality, it is just slightly different than how we are used to thinking of it.

I have a relationship with Jeannette. I don’t have a clue who Jeannette is but I have assigned her the qualities of carefreeness, cuteness, slightly flirtatious, and a whole lot of fun. In essence, I have created a fiction of Jeannette that matches my unique point of view. She in turn cannot know me and has created her own fiction. In our blending of reality, Chip has a relationship with Chip’s idea of Jeannette, and Jeannette has a relationship with Jeannette’s idea of Chip.

Another way of saying this is I line up with a version of Jeannette that matches the vibration of my expectations. And Jeannette lines up with the version of Chip that matches the vibration of her expectations.

In the same way, you have a relationship with the idea of everyone one you meet. You have a relationship with the idea of every plant and animal you encounter. In fact you even have a relationship with the idea of every thought you think. And each idea you think carries with it a unique interpretation.

In other words everything you see about you is a projection of your interpretation. It’s all you baby.

You truly create your physical experience through your thoughts.

So let’s get back to the original question:

How do I stop caring what other people think?

We are still not quite there yet. No doubt you’ve heard the expression, “What you don’t like about someone else is what you don’t like about yourself.”

If you get that what you experience in other people is a projection of your vibration, what you are looking at in a person you don’t like is a projection of you.

Some examples of how this might work is:

If you are angry, you will attract the versions of people that will yell at you.  If you are feeling guilty, you will attract the versions of people that will punish you.  If you are feeling shame, you will attract the versions of people that will “put you down.”

So when you are worried about what others think, what you are really worried about is exposing yourself to yourself through the mirror of “other people.”

Now you can change the question to something more useful. You can ask, “What is it that I’m judging myself for that I’m not quite ready to face?”

Chip Engelmann is the founder of Light Tapping and known as the Law of Attraction “Fun Guru.”  Visit Chip at PracticalWizard.com and sign up for his free video series: the 5 Pillars of Practical Wizardry.

www.goodvibeblog.com

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www.slackermanifesting.com

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www.moneymojomagic.com

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and some of my favorite personal mantras:

www.goodvibeblog.com

www.goodvibeblog.com

I LOVE to share Mike Dooley’s “It’s a good thing I’m rich” and Stuart Wilde’s “The trick to money is having some.”  But clients know me best for asking the question I learned from Abraham: “What’s the thought that feels better?”

What sayings are YOU known for?

But yesterday’s newsletter discussing the difference between powerful manifesting and irresponsible behavior flooded my inbox with the kind of comments I don’t usually get.

Here’s an unedited sampling:

Lisa M writes:

After I had children I would not even smash a spider or bug. .  I became more protective . . . . no worry and bring in “ lower vibration thoughts” ,  but “Common Sense with light” ? besides not wearing seat belts is Illegal . . that is close to keeping the change when the cashier accidentally gives you too much back. .  telling a white lie . . . “lower vibration”  Oh I did build a 300Million dollar company . . . Love to manifest

Kristel said:

It’s one thing to not wear a seat belt – you are just hurting yourself should something happen.  But do you really think that you are so powerful that you can control the will of your cats?  That borders on witch craft doesn’t it?

you are not God. Your point of view sounds a tad egotistical to me.  I would never put my beloved friends in danger. They can’t read, they don’t know Lilies are poisonous.  Would you leave out a potentially poisonous substance if you had a baby because you think you are so well protected?  If so, I certainly hope you don’t have children.

You seem like a very carring person who truly wants to help people and I have enjoyed reading many of the things you have written.  But the direction you are heading is not in line with my path.  It borders on a type of simplistic fanaticism that I think is harmfull.

Kindly remove me from your mailing list.

from Wendy (a colleague):

We are now living in a society that is driven by fear. Some of it is generated by companies that sell us things that will help us allay our fear (like sunscreen), but it has become close to a religion. If you are not living in a way that minimizes all known risks, you are treated like a heretic.  I’m glad you wrote a post on this. There is more to life than avoiding death and I agree living in fear brings in the things that we are most afraid of.

have a great day knowing full well you’re going to die. The choice is whether you spend your life worrying about dying or spend it enjoying your time here.

I laughed when even my good friend Croz wrote: “Are seat belts NOT compulsory in America?”

There were also notes like this:

Love this piece!  When somebody feels the need to curbside me and warn me about something- I feel like its a good check- in and as you say it’s done (as so many awful things are- out of love, lol!) and then, if I still feel my inner HELL YES-  I keep doing it!

Just wanted you to know I LOVED your recent message regarding powerful creators or irresponsible citizens!  When I read the blog about the guy who was out of work and spent his savings on an Alaskian cruise, I thought how great it would be to have that kind of faith, and lack of fear in one’s life! Wow! I’m not sure I could be that “throw it to the wind” but I admire people who can.

I refuse to take a flu shot even though I work in a hospital that almost makes it mandatory – I believe in perfect health and as such I am never sick. My collegues who do take the flu shot are always calling in sick and still get the flu despite the so called vaccination. Their belief that they are powerless over germs is their reality not mine.

Love this! Excellent piece of writing and really made me laugh . . . and good point!!!   I love you!!

Law of Attraction Success Secret #5: Drop the Agenda

Those of us who know how the system works can sometimes (maybe often) find ourselves working that system in order to get what we want.

That sounds innocent enough, right?  (In fact, isn’t that what we’re supposed to do?)

But if you’re ‘doing this’ in order to ‘get that’ – you’ve missed the boat.

Stay with me here, because really understanding this can be a huge boon to your manifesting practice …

You may be holding up your progress if you’re doing any of these things:

• putting together a vision board in order to manifest those things
• visualizing the desired outcome in order to create those results
• pray rain journaling to make it happen
• scripting out loud to direct what happens next
• doing nothing to make something happen (even Slackers slip!)

You guys, I probably do this a couple times every week.  That’s how easy it is to fall for!

The truth is, though, our highest alignment is found in genuine appreciation.

And we’re not truly appreciating when we’re only doing something in order to create change.  That’s doing it with an agenda.

Just like we’re not truly loving someone if we only do it to get them to love us back.  That’s not love; that’s emotional manipulation.

The purpose of manifesting techniques and exercises are to take us to a state of alignment via appreciation.

Which means: the most effective way to make a pray rain journal entry is to do it because it feels good, not to make it happen.  The real way to relax is to do it without trying to make something happen, because that’s not relaxing – that’s just efforting lying down.  The best way to visualize is to see what you want because it’s enjoyable to, not to ensure that’s what unfolds next.

Are you with me?

It means that if you’ve got an agenda to engage a manifesting method in order to create results, you would be better served to recognize that the real manifesting juice is in the vibration of appreciation.  That’s where we’ll find highest alignment to what we want.

All that means is that you’re best served when joy, love and appreciation are your real targets.

Here’s what Abe said about it recently:

“If you would spend just a little bit of time over the next few days just making lists of things that you appreciate from right where you stand, you would shore up a Grid that would begin to fill in immediately.

But if you do it because you want the Grid to fill in, rather than because you’re appreciating, then you’re not appreciating.  Then you’re trying to fill the Grid in.  And that’s what goes wrong with so many Deliberate Creators. You’re getting your cart before your horse.”  - Abraham, March 2012 in Orlanda FL

What I’m trying to convey here is that appreciation is the name of the game.  Any of those manifesting exercises we engage are designed to get us to that state of enjoyment and thankfulness now.  NOT to create that stuff we want so we can then get thankful and joyful.

Make sense?

It’s an easy distinction to miss, which is why it’s LOA Success Secret #5.  (Stay tuned for the next four.)

I’d love to hear your thoughts on dropping the manifesting agenda if you care to share.

How easy is your money?

On a scale of 1-10, with 1 being “I work like a slave for it” and 10 as “I barely lift a finger”, how easy is your money?

If you’re like many of us, you grew up believing it’s a virtue to work hard for your reward; that money was scarce and difficult to come by, and you better be careful with whatever you get.  And even to be grateful for the chance to sweat it out in a miserable job to earn it.

The thing is, that’s true.  If that’s what you believe.

But it can be also be true that:

• money is easy to come by
• that the less you work the more you make
• that the more you spend the more you have
• that earning it can be a completely joyful and pleasant experience
• or that you don’t even have to “work” for it at all

If that sounds foreign, but something you’d like to embrace, that’s what we’re doing this May.

I’m taking a group of creators up the scale towards experiencing even easier money.  If you answered less than an 8 on the ten point scale, and are keen to create a different experience with money, you’re invited to join in for a month long Easy Money course starting May 14th at 4 pm eastern.

Seats are $97 each, and include access to the GVU forums for the duration of the course.  Calls will be recorded if you can’t join in live, and access to the forums allows you to experience the power of group support even if you’re not dialed in for calls.

If you’d like to join to create Easy Money for yourself, reserve your seat by making payment of $97 below.

After sending payment, I’ll send an email with call-in details and forum access instructions.

And if you want to prime your pump right now for an easier time with money, these resources may help now:

Marc Allen on how he affirmed his way to “total financial success in an easy & relaxed manner.”
Abraham reminder on creating money without action.
Bashar on winning the lottery.

Great stuff there!  And very much in alignment with what we’ll be practicing in Easy Money next month.  See you then!

PS – current GVU members get free seats to this course.  So if you’re already a member, no need to register.  And if you’d like to become one now, you can do that here.

Between the pinterest boards I browse and my facebook news feed, it seems the reminders are constant about how to live a better life:

• “find forgiveness”
• “only speak well of others”
• watch my language
• never EVER give up

and on and on …

So I’m here to defend some of the things my well esteemed peers warn me against regularly, starting with:

1.  Forget forgiveness.

What do I have against forgiveness?  Two things.  First, to forgive someone first requires that I’ve  judged something or someone wrong.  If I’m going to put forth the effort to shift my vibe on a situation, I can probably do better than that.

Second, if I don’t allow myself a grudge because it’s not kosher to feel that way, I’m at risk of not properly owning my feelings.  And we know how that turns out.  (Not fab.)

Plus, I  may be bypassing some very powerful contrast!  Who knows what great stuff I’m cooking up as I hold those contrasty feelings and thoughts?! Experience has taught me I get to a peaceful place way more genuinely (and swiftly, too) when I honor the grudge while it lasts.  It’ll go when it’s time, and it seems to do that much better when I’m not opposed to it to start with.

So, don’t be so quick to forgive.

And another thing:

2.  Don’t watch your language.

If you’re like me, you have many well-intentioned friends telling you to “only speak what you want to create,” and use high energy language to ensure your vibration is top notch.  (I’ve probably been one of those friends!)

That’s a nice theory.  But real life has a different way of working out.

Here’s why I am in favor of things like gossip and swearing:  to put limits on where or how we find relief can botch the system.

And sometimes, to some people, it simply feels better to say what you’re trying not to or what you know you shouldn’t – just to get it out of your system.  Plus, some folks get great relief from gossip sessions, so who are we to judge what’s best?  Cut a girl some slack – it just may be that a good gossip session helps her get over it and get on with life.

This “find a way to feel better” thing works way better when we don’t put rules around it, and I know lots of people get genuine relief from saying things that others might qualify as rumorus chitchat.  Myself included on occasion.

Also, I’ve noticed that the times when I commit to avoiding conversations that feel gossipy is when I seem to attract/initiate them the most.  (What we resist, persists!)  My better plan has turned out to be “don’t be so uptight about it.”

On another note …

3.  Giving up can be good for you.

“Never EVER give up,” the sage advice goes.

But you know what?  Sometimes that routine just feeds resistance and attachment.  I know lots of us have experienced letting something go as exactly the relief that was needed to get things in gear.  So maybe we ought to champion those who are ready to throw in the towel!

* * *

While I’m at it, let me just give a little plug for emotional eating and drug use.

(By now you might think I’m joking, but I’m not.)

Just because someone else might think that eating for pleasure is from the devil, doesn’t mean they need to ruin it for the rest of us.

The way some experts preach vigilance about only eating when you’re really truly legitimately physically hungry, makes me think they have something against the benefits of ‘comfort food.’  If they want to believe that eating to feel better ruins us, then more power to them – but don’t drag the rest of us along for that ride.  We have fantastically powerful bodies – when we don’t block them with limiting beliefs.

(And I know most women do have those limiting beliefs, so don’t get crazy with yourself if you’re heavily invested in them.)

I’m not recommending using food as a sole method of feeling good – I think it’s great to have LOTS of ways to enjoy life and feel better.  If food is one of them, enjoy!  Your body will tell you what it appreciates; you can trust it without regulating it via externally imposed rules.

That goes for alcohol, too.  When I find myself the kind of wound up that makes a better feeling thought completely elusive – sometimes I take a dog walk, sometimes I take a nap, and sometimes I pop a beer. Not very often do I fall back on the alcohol trick, but it is a guaranteed effective one for me to loosen up and relax tight thoughts.

Abraham’s soothing words to someone who is addicted?  ”Don’t worry too much about it.”  (Because we know where worry and judgment take us!)

More than anything, I’m saying let’s not have too many rules for ourselves, or too many things we push against.  Let’s instead honor where our own inner guidance takes us, and where someone else’s takes them; trusting that inner guidance knows best, and living it free of limiting beliefs about what serves us and what doesn’t.  That’s a huge act of self-love.

As I learned on pinterest today, it’s all good. And that includes gossip, grudges, giving up, and lots of other “unapproved” activities.

At the risk of generating an x-rated comment or two, you know I’d love to hear how you find pleasure in things you’re not “supposed” to …

One reader writes in that she’s been working on changing limiting beliefs for years and has made absolutely no headway.  In fact, quite the opposite – things are worse than they’ve ever been.  What to do?

Another wants to know how to use law of attraction to secure food and shelter for herself and her young children.  (She’s homeless, unemployed and scared.)

I don’t know if it’s 2012 energy that’s amping up the contrast for some or what’s going on here, but I do know it’s no fun to feel like all is lost with no idea how to change it.

Those thoughts along the lines of “all is lost” or “it’s never been worse” or “nothing is working” don’t leave much room for something good to happen …

… and I’ve noticed it doesn’t matter whether we learn to manage those thoughts or not, because things are going to get better one way or another.

Here’s the way some folks experience that:

Things get so bad they finally give up trying to change it.  In that surrender is relief, and that’s when solutions can appear.

Deliberate creators know they don’t have to let things get that bad in order to experience relief; but sometimes that’s how it goes. So what?  We get to do this however we want.

In fact, I’ve had several people tell me that’s the ONLY time they ever get what they want – after they give up from exhaustion.

Some people use high contrast as part of their creation process, which is perfectly fine as long as we realize that it’s optional. We don’t have to have that much resistance in play in order to manifest what we want; that’s just one way to do it.

Abraham regularly reminds us that even what many of us consider the “worst case scenario” (i.e. death) offers tremendous relief.

So one way or another, things can’t help but get better when we’re feeling tremendously out of sorts.

But there is one thing I want everyone to hear when turning to law of attraction in their deepest time of need:

* * This is no time to blame yourself for creating your current circumstances. * *

This is not the time to berate yourself for not being able to think a positive thought.  This is not the time to compare yourself to others who seem to be succeeding so effortlessly.  Nor is this likely the best time to nail down your limiting beliefs.

This is the time to be easy on yourself. To show yourself some compassion and remember that you’re doing the best you can and that you’re doing better than you’ve given credit for.

Too many creators use their knowledge of law of attraction to make themselves wrong for what they’re manifesting.  And in my experience, that thought doesn’t help a whole helluva lot.

If you find it empowering to realize you are in charge of everything that unfolds in your life, go for it.  Have fun with that thought!

But if you’re in deep struggle with life, please stop beating yourself up by thinking it’s your fault for creating this.  The last thing you need right now is another heavy thought.

This is the time for relaxing, for surrendering, for trusting, and for being easier on yourself.

And if you can’t do that, don’t worry.  Relief is coming, one way or another.

(And no, I don’t mean you’re going to die if you don’t turn this ship around!)

I mean relief isn’t as far away as you think, it isn’t as hard as you think, and it’s coming for you even if you aren’t consciously seeking it.

The system is set up for our success – it’s fail proof and fool proof.  As one of my favorite pins reminds me:

(“Not to spoil the ending for you, but … everything’s going to be okay.”)

In the meantime, if you can just give up the fight for a while to pet a dog, or take a nap, or find something to laugh about, that’ll help your good news arrive sooner than later.

I am rooting for you, even though you don’t need it because your happy ending is guaranteed.  :)

As you might expect, the stranded cute blonde received immediate help with her tire.

When they replaced the woman with a young guy, he got help, too.  (Even if it did take a couple more minutes before someone stopped.)

But when it was a man in a Muslim cap who was stuck with a flat tire, he didn’t get nearly as much support.

It was discouraging (and even a little upsetting) to watch as people pretended not to see him.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aNJgX3qH148

Eventually, though, a passersby did stop.

He was a rather remarkable young man.  The kind that you’re still thinking about days later.

Dominic had a tattoo representing “mental alchemy” on his forearm, which he says is all about turning negative into positive.  His message: “Do not judge; we’re all the same;” and his policy is to practice “unconditional love for every living thing.”

The producers behind the scenes literally cheered when Dominic refused money from the Muslim actor!

So … was it discouraging that only two people in the entire day stopped to help our Muslim in distress?  Or was it fabulous that such an open-minded openly loving young person did?

As Abraham reminded at a workshop the other day, we get to decide, because both perspectives are true.

Things are both the worst they’ve ever been and the best they’ve ever been.

A man in Abraham’s hot seat wanted to correct his grandmother who believes the world is going to hell in a handbasket.  But Abraham said, “She’s right!”  Things are as bad as they’ve ever been.

And they’re also the best they’ve ever been.

It’s simply a matter of what we choose for ourselves.

Since the balance between contrast and desire will always be linked, and since expansion is inevitable – it means things are (always) as good and as bad as they’ve ever been.

Kind of gives you good incentive to focus on the best, right?

Here’s to Dominic and all those like him, who make it so easy to see that the world is changing for the better.

Happy Easter.

I get lit up every time I run across a reminder that it can be instant; or that life transformations can take place in as little as 30 days.

My own personal experience has proven how quickly Universe responds to my shifted vibe:

• my first pray rain journal entry delivered exactly what I wanted in less than 2 hours
• my first scripting exercise netted spectacular results in under two days
• I manifested chocolate out of thin air in minutes
• I turned around a screwed up dating vibe with a 10 minute visualization that resulted in HUGE success within the hour
• I’ve willed phone reps to give me good answers while on hold

So I personally know that it can happen FAST.

On the other side, I have a couple of manifesting projects that have been in the works for years.  Literally, years.

What I’ve learned from personal experience as well as working with hundreds of other deliberate creators is that the speed of manifestation is impacted by these things:

1. how badly we need it (less attachment is better)
2. how much contrast has been engaged (more is good)
3. how well we can disengage from current reality (if we’re stuck on ‘what is,’ it’s going to go SLOW)
4. how much we believe in it

Maybe a smart math person here could put that in some type of formula:

Speed of Manifestation is inversely correlated to level of need (i.e. attachment), exponentially connected to prior contrast, divided by the reality disengagement factor times belief.  ha  (I’m not the smart math person.)

But I am a smart and experienced deliberate creator.

I know that my past contrast works to my benefit – when I let go of that contrast. (Contrast meaning the “sucky stuff” or the “don’t want” of life.)  That’s why the scripting and journaling worked so quickly – I was coming from huge contrast in both those experiences.

I know that needing results sends a contrary signal to Universe, blocking the very thing I want.  (Which is why present moment appreciation is such a powerful manifesting aid.)

I know that seeing “what is” is also a hindrance to results. (Start seeing what you’re creating, not what you’ve created.)

And I know that the more I believe/expect it, the faster it unfolds.

So to allow for fast manifesting, you want to incorporate these elements as much as possible:

huge desire, little attachment, and a strong focus on and belief in success.

With those elements in play you are guaranteed to turn some heads at your crazy fast manifesting skills!  I’d love to hear your stories of fast manifesting, if you care to share …