Feel It Out or Feel Good?
Today’s guest post on the dilemma deliberate creators sometimes run into comes from Janette Dalgliesh of Sweet Relief Coaching. Enjoy this wisdom from Janette:
We’re told to allow, allow, allow. To feel our feelings. To let them flow so we’re not caught up in resistance. We’re told that denying and bottling up our feelings is a Bad Thing, and that we need to honour all emotions as sacred.
But we’re also told to seek out the better-feeling thought, to make our way “up” the so-called emotional scale. We’re advised to find the feel-good as much as possible, to put our focus on what brings joy.
We’re sometimes led to believe our goal is to think positive all the time, since feeling bad might block our access to the good stuff of life.
What’s a deliberate creator to do?!
It seems like contradictory advice – feel our feelings … or reach for the feel-good no matter what.
I think the answer is YES and YES. First one, then the other.
Feel the feelings in the moment – whether that means throwing a mini-hissy fit in the privacy of the bathroom, or hiding under the blankets for a good cry, or simply letting the tears flow wherever you are. As long as we find a safe and appropriate way to express the emotion we’re feeling, then by letting it have its way with us we can usually let it flow through in a very short space of time, even just a few seconds. Safe and appropriate usually means on our own or with a compassionate witness who won’t engage in our drama; and it means not lashing out at anyone. No injuring innocent bystanders!
And then, only after the emotion has been allowed to express, it’s time to gently reach for the next better-feeling thought. Note I didn’t say “good feeling thought”. It just needs to feel a little better. It might even have swear words in it, if we’re moving from despair to anger. The keyword here is RELIEF.
Rinse and repeat.
But how do you know when the emotion has had its way with you?
Think of it like your normally-placid cat having one of those crazy tear-around-the-room-for-no-reason moments.
You sit there watching this mad feline frenzy, wondering if you’ve temporarily relocated to a different Universe where your cat is completely bananas, and hoping none of your precious vases goes flying …. and just as suddenly, it’s all over.
Your cat shakes herself and lies back down in the sunny spot. All is well.
First the feline frenzy, then the peace.
First the emotional release, then the reaching for a better-feeling thought.
Janette Dalgliesh walks the dual path between Saturn and Neptune: the practical left-brain science and the ineffable Divine. For her there is no discrepancy. She believes they are both part of the miraculous and loving Universe in which we all have this physical human experience. Find Janette online at Sweet Relief Coaching.