Getting Okay With Contrast

July 30, 2010 | 26 Comments »

Deliberate creators know that manifesting our desires works best when there’s no resistance present; when we’re at peace with what is.

At least, we know that intellectually!

But in practice, many of us have our fair share of resistance flowing.

Whether it’s not liking that we owe money, or wishing we had more of it, feeling frustrated in a relationship, or frustrated from the lack of one – there are all sorts of opportunities for us to not like what’s going on.

Which is normal and expected.

Feeling contrast is part of the process!

But savvy creators know to minimize that part of the process.  There’s no reason for us to suffer, and pushing against the suffering isn’t the way through it.

Rather, we know we can experience what we “don’t want” and then swiftly use it as a launching pad to the good things it’s inspired us toward.

For those of us who spend more time in the resistance to what is than we’d prefer, let’s review:

One of the reasons we focus so well on the contrast in life (like the sick dog, mean lover, unreliable car, etc.) is because we think if we’re not paying attention to it and willing it to change, it won’t change!

We’re (often unconsciously) nervous that if we accept it as it is, we’re stuck with it.

Which couldn’t be more backwards.

Because things don’t change while we’re in resistance to it.  Desperately needing things to be different just reinforces more of what we don’t want.

So when I ask new clients to make peace with what is, they sometimes hear that as a request to give up on their desires, and are afraid that by doing so all hope for change will be lost.

Not so.

Getting okay with what is can take a leap of faith.  But when we do, we open the door to what often seems like “magic and miracles”!

Here’s what Abe had to say about it in Phoenix a few months ago:

We want to say it in a way that is really convincing to you. That making peace with What Is, is not settling for What Is. It’s settling for what IS, in the Vortex of Creation.

Did you hear the distinction?

What Abraham means is that when we get okay with what is right now, that’s not settling.  Instead, it’s actually opening us up to all the wonderful things we desire.

It means that when I get okay with the state of my business, body, bank account or whatever – that’s how I allow all the stuff I’ve been wanting to come into my world.

(And it is a matter of allowing, not figuring it out or making it happen.)

I like how Thich Nhat Hanh said it in You Are Here:

You do not have to struggle against a desire.  There is no need for a battle within you.  The essential point is not to create conflict, a fight, within yourself.

He suggests we embrace whatever negativity arises in our world and in our selves, rather than push against it.  That’s where transformation begins.

So what have you been in resistance to that you can practice easing up about today? 

Where have you been pushing for change, when you can instead embrace how it is, knowing that’s what puts things in motion again?

It’s taken some practice, but I’m finally getting the hang of being okay with this body just as it is.  And making peace with the dog who doesn’t always potty outside.  And my boyfriend who sometimes comes home from work ornery. 

Not only does this allow things to get even better for me, but it also gives me the pleasure of enjoying life as it is right now.

What could be better?  😉

I played with a variety of techniques in practicing peace (Katie’s four inquiry questions, simple deep breathing, and Paul McKenna’s work), but I’d love to hear what works for you when it comes to getting okay with what is.

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26 Responses to “ Getting Okay With Contrast ”

  1. Ayla says:

    I so needed this today, THANK YOU!!! “What you resist persists” Jung

  2. Glad you enjoyed it, Ayla! Thanks for posting to say so. 🙂

  3. Tammy says:

    Me too Ayla! Perfect timing Jeanette, just the kick in the pants I needed this week. I am needing to remember, I am awesome and the Universe spoils me rotten. There is no “bad” only nudges in the “proper” direction. Have a great weekend!

  4. Tammy, I LOVE that! “The Universe spoils me rotten”!! I am SO borrowing that!!

    And yay for nudges in the helpful direction. 🙂

    Thanks for posting, Tammy!

  5. Laura says:

    Ha! Interesting timing..not just 10 minutes ago I just posted to the GVU forum my experience about a week ago where I stumbled upon a process that worked for me and got me from a state of fear to a quick ride into the Vortex. I’ll quickly summarize here:

    I found out about a situation that caused me to experience some mild panic. I started to ask myself questions about what I was fearing and kept asking until I asked myself “do I have anything to fear right now”? When the answer was “no”, I knew that I had been swimming in a sea of “what ifs” that were all future based and had no validity at this time. Once I got to that place of feeling no fear in the present and completely shifting my energy, I just started a list of “what ifs” but this time, of possibly positive outcomes. I was able to come up with a list of 11 things without giving it much thought. Just stream of consciousness.

    The outcome astounded me. Not only did it dissolve my fear, but actually brought me into a really good “vortexy” feeling that all was going to work out just fine. It only took about 15 minutes and I now know that I will use this process to challenge the source of my fear and show it who’s boss. It was very empowering, indeed!

  6. Laura, I just read your GVU post and LOVED it!

    You really know how to rock it!!

    Thanks for sharing a summary here – much appreciated! 🙂

  7. Pernille Madsen says:

    What works best for me is simply seeing it as “contrast” and appreciating the opportunity to get clear about what it is that I want instead.

    When things are not the way I want them to be, I accept the responsibility; I know that I have attracted it myself, consciously or unconsciously, so I forgive myself and I either just accept the situation as it is (I have deliberately practiced “acceptance” for various years, so today it comes very easy to me; it didn’t before!) or, if it is important enough for me, I start telling a different story the way I want it to be and give more of my attention to the new story. If this part doesn’t come easy, I start by “wouldn’t it be wonderful if……”

    My experience is that the more I have practiced this, the less resistance I feel, and these days I do feel very little resistance 😉

  8. Pernille, you have shown how much easier it gets with a committed practice to it. I love your example of appreciating contrast for the clarity it brings.

    What a nice vibe! 🙂

    Thanks for sharing here, girlfriend.

  9. Toemaas says:

    I love contrast! When I find myself in contrast or contradiction or out of alignment I work to embrace it as an opportunity to work through the unreasonableness of the state. Not always easy to do, but the process uncovers beliefs that I take to be real that just are not and working through the process brings the shift to better alignment.

    And then, the excitement of what will come next (with no attachment to what that might be) emerges in the most delicious ways. I like to think of me being reasonable when I’m aligned with life and unreasonable when I’m not aligned. And unreasonable isn’t a bad thing, it’s just a choice, made unwittingly, and it serves me when I recognize it as just that and a way to start moving back into alignment with life. That moment of deliberate choice in becoming what I want is an awesome buzz!! And perfectly reasonable!! I feel it coming on right now, and I’m thrilled to see what will come.

  10. Toemaas, I can sense your true appreciation of contrast in the description of your management of it. Very inspiring!

    I think it helps people to hear that this isn’t theoretical wishful thinking – that real world people are actually really living this way!
    🙂
    And yay for “awesome buzzes”! lol

    Thanks for reading and especially for posting, my friend.

  11. Barbara says:

    Aw, the contrast! I like using EFT for stuff that gets stuck. I’m writing from the Tapping Experience (a 3-day EFT workshop with Carol Look, Nick and Jessica Ortner from The Tapping Solution) and after this weekend, I’m expecting my manifestations to speed up. With all this clearing for hours and hours, it has to have a significant effect. While not all the issues here are “mine,” I know there is benefit from “borrowing” from others, so woo hoo! I’m celebrating already and there’s one more day to go.

    Can’t wait to get back on GVU more routinely soon, too! I miss you all!

    Warmly,
    Barbara

  12. Oooh, with an expectation like THAT, Barbara, you’re bound to have some fun!

    woo hoo!!

  13. Elisabeth says:

    Hi All ~ Love this post!

    I have been listening to Abe-Hicks on a loop on my iPod and reading everything I can to help me get unstuck. After hearing the words “get happy” and “find the peace with where you are right now”, I finally HEARD the words.

    The other day while working on my writing, I allowed myself to get distracted by YouTube and created a playlist for myself called Get Happy. I saved video of songs that made me happy or brought up happy memories. I would search, listen and save then go back to some writing and repeat the process. I collected about 20 plus videos over the span of a few hours and then the call came.

    My boyfriend interviewed over the phone for a teaching job in Vegas. The principal hired him at the end of the phone call and just needs to verify his “highly qualified status” and interview one other person to determine which classes my boyfriend will teach. This job gets him back in the classroom with the student population he wants to work with, so I guess it’s Viva Las Vegas! Once I got over the shock of this life changing event, I went back to the list of things I wrote with the help of my coach about what I wanted to create at this point in my life. I will have the opportunity for all of those things in Vegas as well.

    I now realize that once you get in the Vortex, manifestation happens and it can be instant =)

    On a side note, I found one other fun way to get into the Vortex. My boyfriend usually does the driving and when we are driving in curvy downhill roads, I close my eyes and imagine that I am flowing and riding around in my Vortex. It’s like being on a roller coaster without the queasy feeling =)

    Thanks for listening and letting me share =)

  14. Elisabeth says:

    Oh and I just got the money to pay for the rest of a class I wanted to take and my coach referred me for a job that I can do from home which could lead to other projects with this company! I love getting in to the Vortex!

    Thanks again,
    E

  15. Girlfriend, we want that playlist!! lol

    Seriously, you’re doing exactly what Abe says is all important: finding ways to Get Happy!

    Thanks for sharing your example of it here.

    Love your curvy road experience, too! 🙂

  16. PS – get this, Elizabeth: after reading and responding to your post, I just got an advance payment from a returning client, too.

    Your vibe’s rubbing off on me already!! ha ha

  17. Katie says:

    Thank you for this! I was looking for a Law of Attraction Blog and yours is the first I went to. The above was exactly what I needed to hear today. Thank you so much. What are Katie’s four questions. The more tools I have to make peace with my current status, the better off I’ll be. Thank you again!

  18. Jeannette says:

    Glad you found something that helped, Katie! Here are Byron Katie’s four questions (aka “the work” aka “inquiry”):

    http://www.thework.com/thework-4questions.php

    Is it true?

    Can you absolutely know that it’s true?

    How do you react, what happens, when you believe that thought?

    Who would you be without the thought?

  19. Elisabeth says:

    Awesome Jeannette! The better it gets the better it gets! I can’t believe how easy it is and how difficult I made it.

    We need to do a new commercial. Instead of promoting V8 Juice, we can promote the Vortex. The actor can turn to the camera, tap the side of his head and say, “I should’ve gone into the Vortex!”

    Woo Hoo!

  20. Elisabeth, you are brilliant!!

    Robert, if you’re reading, and I know you’re going to video editing class soon, you should make us this video!
    🙂

  21. Elisabeth says:

    Jeannette, not brilliant, just in the Vortex! I would love to see it in video. Please Robert!!!!!!

    Woo Hoo!!!!!

  22. Mimamutz says:

    Dear Jeannette,
    I have bookmarked your Blog because I like the things you write. Thank you for this inspiring article. It was just what I needed today since I woke up with a grumpy mood and now I am smiling. Keep up the good work please!

  23. Scott says:

    So true.

  24. Reeya says:

    Agreed with Mimamutz! Bookmarked for me as well. Today I was feeling a little disappointed and I knew these were “upstream” thoughts…BOOO! So it looks like my desire to turn myself back downstream lead me here and to this article.
    As I read, i felt that it was helping to point me back in the right direction. So thanks much GVC!

    Just gotta continue to remember that, as Abraham says, I am where I am and THAT’S OK! 🙂

  25. Tarek says:

    Very nice article Jeanette… And it came at its time for me.
    Thank you.

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