Giving Up Lands Her Perfect Husband
Ten years ago I spent my last Valentine’s Day single and it was a whopper.
I’d gone through a horrible breakup a few weeks before. We are talking about a record-breaking bad breakup.
I wasn’t heartbroken. I was emotionally bankrupt.
I had hit what I would categorize as an emotional rock bottom. I got there by making a too many bad decisions for too long. I was a mess.
On that particular Valentine’s Day I was in no mood for romance and I was jonesing for it like an addict all at the same time.
Fortunately for me, my best friend from high school was also post-breakup and didn’t have anyone on her dance card for V-day that year either.
So when she visited we got ourselves a bottle of wine and a notebook and went to work on “the list” to create our next relationships.
You know the list. It’s the list of qualities you’re looking for in a match.
Almost every woman I know has made that list.
I’d made it at least a dozen times before. Obviously, it hadn’t worked – at all.
I’ll fast forward six weeks from that Valentine’s afternoon when we made our lists. I met the love of my life.
He was such an exact match to that list that I recognized him immediately. We fell in love at first sight. We’ve been together every day, ever since.
So why did it work when I was at my most pathetic after my worst breakup when it hadn’t worked before?
I’ll tell you why and you probably won’t believe it because it goes against everything you’ve ever learned about how to attract anything.
It worked because I’d given up.
I didn’t think it would work. I’d done it before with train wreck results. I had no reason to believe doing it again would be any different.
I did it for fun to pass the time. Nothing more, nothing less.
I had a bottle of wine with a friend. We laughed and had a blast. I was just tipsy enough to be totally honest with that list about what I really wanted. I had zero attachment to it because I didn’t really believe it was within reach.
I got crystal clear about what I wanted that day and felt exactly zero angst about getting it because I had surrendered to the idea that I’d be single forever.
Sometimes it takes completely letting go to let the magic happen.
A smarter person than I was would let go before hitting rock bottom. However, even if you feel like you’re cruising for rock bottom you can still take heart. There is a lot of freedom in giving up and miracles happen when you least expect them.
This Valentine’s Day I am wishing you lots of love, miracles you don’t expect, and some wishes you’ve long since given up on. It’s easy for me to see all of that happening for you. If I can get to happily-ever-after from rock bottom anything is possible.
Lisa Hayes is the Love Whisperer who helps clients leverage Law of Attraction to get the relationships they dream about and build the lives they want. Find her online at LisaMHayes.com.