Guest Post: Kim Falconer (Astro Mojo)

October 17, 2009 | 70 Comments »

Play It Again, Sam?
What to do when your love story gets stuck

Hi Everyone! I’m thrilled at the chance to talk with the Good Vibe Coach Clan! Thank you, Jeannette!

CatLoveWith the New Moon in Libra, the sign ruling personal 1-to-1 relationships, this post is about romance—love, dating, commitment, marriage—whatever ‘romance’ means to you. If your love life could use a vibe shift (or if you just said, ‘what love life?’) then now is the perfect time to change the way you think. (And that’s all that needs to change to make a difference—the way you think!)

Many of you have heard me talk about astrology and law of attraction, but for those who haven’t, here ‘s the nut shell: Astrology (the birth time and place) doesn’t determine our character. It’s the other way around. We’re born at a particular time because of who we are. We don’t reflect the moment of birth—it reflects us!  Our astrology cannot limit conscious awareness, however it can offer timely insights and support along the way to our enlightenment. 

It is in this spirit I offer these tips under the New Libra Moon!

Tip one: Find your story

To alter your thoughts about love (i.e. improve your love life) you have to know what they are in the first place. The quickest way to find out is to ask. ‘What’s my story?’ (In six words or less please. Any longer and it’s the gremlins talking.) If you think it’s too hard to say it in so few worlds, relax. Your unconscious took care of it for you long ago. (Handy if the words are I have a wonderful love life. Or, Love is bliss. Or, I’m so darn lucky in love.  Not such a bonus if it out to be, Men suck.

No matter what you might be doing to shift your love vibe around, things aren’t going to budge while your story remains unconscious. When unknown, the story is fate—it creates your ‘relationship reality’. If I say, ‘all the good ones are taken,’ sure enough when I look for them, their taken! (This is something I used to say a lot and demon’s fire if it wasn’t true . . . until I changed my tune!)

Tip two: Let go of the old story

I used to think there were perfectly good reason for my story, my words. I mean, I did always get hurt, cheated on, lied to etc (you can see why I thought all the good ones were taken!) If you have a story, your life will fulfil it, which reinforces the story , which life fulfils . . . ad infinite.  But there are versions, and we can always choose which to tell.

medusa2Take Medusa for example. There are several versions of her mythology (as is the case in many ancient stories). In one she was a beautiful young nymph raped by Poseidon in the temple of Athena. The goddess punished her for this with a cures, turned her hair into snakes, and oh yes, I almost forgot, if she ever looked at a man again, he was turned to stone.

We can only imagine what her six words would be!

Medusa1But another version tells a different story. Here Medusa is an honoured ally of Athena (her image is on her shield). No rape, no curse. She is a powerful warrior protecting her lands from barbarian (which she enjoys doing).  Both are the ‘Medusa story’, just different ‘tellings’.

We can do this too. 

Tip three: Write a better story!

The ancient Greeks called fate ‘that which is written.’ They thought it was immutable.  We know differently now. Changing our story literally means changing our ‘fate’. Remember, we choose which version of our lives to tell. 

The horoscope below is designed to help identify old stories and find better ones. Each sun sign is given with its opposite because relationships bring out the ‘bipolar’ in us—our sun sign AND the 180 degree ‘shadow’ sign. If you know your Ascendant sign, read that one too!

Aries & Libra: These signs share the story of Lover vs. Power.  Aries wants to be the boss and Libra wants to feel the love but in relationship the traits can flip (daily). Suddenly Libra calls the shot and Aries is begging for romance. (The conflict is within, inherent in both signs) The stories go like this: Relationships are a compromise. Marriage is a trap. I’m lonelier with than without.  When these signs let go ‘domination and subservience’ stories the energy harmonizes and becomes a conduit for enlightenment.  At that point, the story transforms to ‘Having the time of my life!’ 

Taurus & Scorpio: Peace vs. Change. Taurus yearns for peace at the expense of change and Scorpio yearns for change at the expense of peace. Both are incredibly stubborn. (Talk about what you resist . . .)  The stories can be Love isn’t worth the risk. Relationships always blow up, (S)he’s like a ball & chain. When there is balance the propensity to fall into a secure but stagnant peace is replaced with the willingness to traverse new territory. The urge to flee when it becomes over challenged is grounded with an inner peace. Then the story is, Things just keep getting better!

Gemini & Sagittarius: Words vs. Actions. When it comes to love, these signs can get caught up on words, ideas, beliefs, philosophies and what to ‘do’ about them. Gemini wants to gather and disseminate vast amounts of information and Sagittarius wants to turn the sparkling wisdom into an action (or religion). Talk about mixed messages! Stories include No one understands. They never listen to me. I’m not smart enough (or they aren’t). It’s better to just have friends. When aligned, the drive to expand consciousness may live out through the deep sharing of ideas as well as the intimacy of the bodies.  Then the story becomes, Together is better than ever!

Cancer & Capricorn: Co-dependency verses vs. Self-sufficiency Capricorn represents independence, capability and sometimes insensitivity.  Cancer is nurturing, bonding and sometimes ultra needy.  The combination can leave the partner saying WTH? The story goes like this: I’m not good enough for him/her. He only wants me for my money. Marriage is better than being alone (or the opposite). Alignment comes when the longing to immerse in the inner world of feelings moves into the larger collective and the desire for accomplishment move inwards to meet the empathy and compassion of shared feelings. Then the story becomes, Life’s a beautiful symbiosis!

Leo & Aquarius Self vs. Group. Traditionally, Leo is the monarch and Aquarius the cosmic social worker.  Leo finds creativity in individuality and distinction and Aquarius finds it in groups and community.  When in relationship, both signs can manifest conflicting urges, and both signs can be incredibly willful! Stories go like this: No one’s good enough for me. Relationship is sacrifice. They always hate my friends. (I always hate their friends). With alignment they can learn to pool their resources in a creative and erotic merging that brings about a beautiful result. Then the story becomes, Creativity through collaboration!

Virgo & Pisces: Order vs. Chaos. Virgo compares and contrasts; Pisces merges and dissolves.  One takes unformed mass from the sea of the collective and shapes it into something functional.  The other lures those forms back into the sea so they might remix in new ways. In love, these signs manifest some conflicting feel goods! Stories might be: I’m so confused. What they don’t know can’t hurt. It’s too good to be true. I let the good on get away. With acknowledgement of both ritual order and immersion in the unknown, relationship can bring these seemingly opposite qualities together.  Then the story becomes, Love is the soul of harmony!

What’s your love story in six words or less? It’d be great to hear you all chime in! 

Namaste, Kim

More from Kim:
Weekly Astro Mojo
Astrology
Novels

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70 Responses to “ Guest Post: Kim Falconer (Astro Mojo) ”

  1. Kim, I can’t even describe how well this hit home for me. (For both my ascendant and sun sign!)

    What an honor it is to have you share your wisdom and insights for us here!!

    The truth is, I just can’t get enough of you.

    Thank you for bringing the point home (of our power to create the love story we want, with a little help from our star chart) in a fun and enlightening way. I love you!!

    Now to think about my love story … oh boy, this will be fun!! lol

  2. Cate says:

    ew. I ditto Jeanett’es comments. This is something I have been working in EARNEST on the past month. Synchronicity. So much coming out the the Dark, and to tell the truth….I’d rather put it back in. It’s hard to look at.

    My love story?
    No one wants my Venus. Everyone wants my Moon. That’s the whole convoluted “story” in 9 words.

    Turning this around is like raising the Titanic….

  3. Tiffany says:

    My story in six words? Kim is a wonderful LOA genius! I’ve been asking for answers about this and you just provided sooo many. I want to print this article out and post it somewhere I can read it frequently!

    I love astrology and always use my perception of it to see where I’m at vibrationally. Lately I’ve been working on my vibration regarding my love life and this article was so refreshing! I’ve gone from feeling “My love life is boring.” to feeling like “This is my story now.”

    Thank you so much Jeanette and Kim!

  4. Kim Falconer says:

    Cate, that reminds me of the old blues tune, ‘Everybody wants to go to heaven; nobody wants to die.’ 🙂 Are your Venus and Moon at odds? More importantly, do YOU want your Venus? I’ve some great active imagination exercises for getting to know/love the inner planets. Your Venus might be grumpy and need some air clearing! Let me know.

    Tiffany, I’m beaming from your 6 words! What a vibe lifter you are! 🙂 Thank you.

  5. Mitch says:

    Kim, I continue to be shocked and amazed at your talent for astrology. And I’ve been on the verge of thinking about considering this topic for a while, so it’s a good one. lol

    Did you hear my old story in that statement?? Let me clear it up for you.

    “Love is a trap.” 😀

    You’re dead on with your Aries statement. Half of me wants to be totally in love and completely devoted and let the rest of my life just fall away. But the other half feels that I *must* let the rest of my life fall away when I’m in a relationship, and frankly, I want my whole life! Love is great, but I want all of my other stuff too!

    Look at me, I’m getting flustered just talking about it. lol! New story: I don’t have to make a choice between love and the rest of my life. I can be in a loving, committed relationship AND feel free and expansive.

    *deep breath* That’s better. 🙂

  6. Kim Falconer says:

    Mitch, it’s good to identify the old story so quickly and concisely. Love the way you get through the jitters to turn it around.

    Now, can you find a way to say the new story it in six words or less? Short and sweet?

  7. The other night I caught a glimpse of Biggest Loser where they were competing in a tough challenge for the privilege of watching videos from home.

    I told Russ I’d opt out of that challenge in a heartbeat – who needs videos from home?! He laughed at how that probably isn’t the thing most girlfriends would say to their boyfriends, and then added, “And you wonder why you have relationship issues.”

    I said, “Who said I have relationship issues?!”

    I was surprised to hear his perspective. What must HE be thinking?! lol

    So my 6 word love story is … well, it’s still coming together.

    LOVING this conversation you’ve started, Kim!!

  8. Kim Falconer says:

    Wow you guys….It’s warming my heart to know this hits home!

    Jeannette, I’m so so so grateful to be part of the community–you are such a guiding light!

    And, some of you may know this story but it was astrology that brought Jeannette and I together! Several years ago I was googling for ‘astrology AND LOA’ articles to find out who else in the world was thinking about these seemingly disparate topics. I clicked on Choose Your Astrology Wisely! by Jeannette Maw! Impressed and inspired, I emailed. She wrote straight back and so began our teacher/student/girl friends love affair! 🙂

    Clicking on that article was one of the best moments of my life, and I didn’t even know it at the time. I love it when that happens, don’t you?

  9. Monica says:

    Man, I laughed when I saw that picture of the cats. Usually I see pictures of perky, frisky cats, but today I keep seeing slug and limpet-like cats. What’s that about?

    I had a revelation the other day that my horoscope does not have anything to do with what I choose to create. It was very freeing.

    Sadly, like Mitch, that Aries analysis nails me, and “relationships are a compromise” is definitely my story.

    I wonder if your horoscope is what happens to you when you are creating by default?

  10. Kim Falconer says:

    Monica, that gave me spine tingles!

    … Your horoscope is what happens to you when you are creating by default…

    That’s part of it, indeed!

    Thank you for putting it so clearly.

  11. Laura says:

    Wow…what a great subject Kim…and perfect timing for me! I recently starting dating someone and so clearly see how my patterns of relationships/love have stayed with me even though I’ve learned so much and have gotten so much clearer as to what I really want. The thing that is most apparent is the energy shift I feel when I “decide” I really like someone. It’s as if I can feel the vibe I am sending out – the “don’t want to lose this” feeling. This attachment is so not what I am seeking.

    I am a Taurus with Leo rising (moon in Libra)…yes, that peace vs. change really resonates!

    The old story is: “The other side of love is loss.”. I know this sounds crazy, but I think that is the root of the fear I feel when I really start to like someone…that it won’t last. Then, I remind myself that love is not a goal, but a way of being and living. You love in the present. Period. Wow…it feels so much better even writing that.

    So, the new story is: “There is always love around me.” One relationship does not quantify the love in my life. It is only one type of love and I get to choose if this is the love I want.

    Wow…took a lot of soul searching to figure that one out. Thanks for laying the groundwork, Kim (and thank you Jeannette – as always).

    Love,
    Laura

  12. Kim Falconer says:

    Laura, you have some golden insights.

    Love is not a goal, but a way of being and living.

    And your new story sounds rich, abundant and nourishing! I’m loving saying that!

    Thank you!

  13. Tiffany says:

    @ Laura: “you love in the present. Period.”

    That was brilliant! That spoke to me so deeply. I always worry about outcomes too. What if i do this? What will happen after that? But loving in the present is about now. Loving them now because that’s all there is…now.

    Thank Ya!

  14. Kim Falconer says:

    Jeannette, I had to read your post several times because I couldn’t even fathom what a ‘video from home’ was….Yeah, I wouldn’t be doing any push-ups for that prize either! lol

    I like your six words–they have a lot of scope, freedom and a feeling of active creation!

  15. Janette says:

    Great article, Kim – thanks Jeannette for inviting her!

    My story has been “I’m so lucky to have found my soulmate” for a long time (married 18 years tomorrow!).

    But not till now did I make the connection, that if I can create this story – and I did create this story, even though I didn’t know I was doing it! – then I can create all the other ones I want too.

    I used to think I was just lucky at relationships and “unlucky” at other stuff. Now I know if I can do it with love, I can do it with EVERYTHING.

  16. Kim Falconer says:

    Hi Tiffany,

    Keeping it in the present makes for a clear and clean vibe. We can’t be in the past hashing out old worries if we are right here, right now in the ‘red hot moment’ (as Jeannette likes to say!)

    Janette,

    Your story has really smashed through some barriers for me! Wow. It’s so strong and bold and clear and confident. No hedging. I’m impressed!!!

    I’ll make you a deal, you pimp your love vibe to me and I’ll pimp my career vibe to you! It’s so true, if you can create the relationship of a lifetime, you can do anyting!

    (And if I can create the career of my dreams, why stop there?)

    We CAN do it with everything!

    Beautiful. Thank you!

    🙂

  17. Kim Falconer says:

    Just to let you all know how my ‘love story’ has evolved …

    1. Long ago: ‘Said I do, then I don’t!’

    2. For a long time after: ‘Relationship = slow death.’

    3. Recently: ‘Happy relationships are plausible.’

    4. Now ‘I’m with a really honey.’

    I think it’s important to allow for the evolution. I couldn’t get from ‘relationship = death’ to ‘I’m with a really honey.’ It was too big a leap. But once I was solid with ‘plausible’ the sweet as honey was a breeze!

  18. Good point, Kim. I often talk about being able to make the “big leap” all at once to the end result I’m manifesting, but there are some topics where I ease into it gradually which seems to work much better (for those highly “charged” topics).

    I also believe that no matter where we are with something, it can always get better. (Actually, not just can, but DOES.)

    I’ve been having fun today thinking about how my love story is just going to continue getting better and better!

    Thanks for the great inspiration you brought to the blog for our new Libra moon starting tomorrow!

  19. Mitch says:

    I love hearing about how you and Jeannette met, Kim! You’re both power players in the LOA world as far as I’m concerned, so I feel like I just got a glimpse of something important. Sort of like “Before They Were Stars” maybe… 😉

    Okay, my new love story in exactly six words:

    I feel freedom in loving relationships!

  20. Kim Falconer says:

    I love that one, Mitch! I can so so so relate! To be able to say freedom, loving and relationship all in the same sentence is like music to my ears!

    Thank you.

    And yes, it was so cool how Jeannette and I met. I emailed her because I was so Wow’d by her article and when she emailed me back the very next day I was over the moon…we haven’t stopped talking since 🙂

  21. Kim Falconer says:

    Loving that Mystic Medusa’s clan is dropping in!

    Thank you!!!

    xoxo

  22. Holy moly of course 🙂 My Cappy rising cancer moon fits the cappy/cancer reading SO well. It’s in the love mojo you did for me too and one that I’m ready to change. Identified more wt those than my Saggi Sun. The Cancer – cappy force is strong within me! This is the coolest post ever! Thank you xo

  23. Maria says:

    After reading your article I sat and pondered.
    Love should be easy. Not full of stress. Soft and gentle full of laughter. Part of the joy of living. I think

  24. Kim Falconer says:

    Tia,

    I know! I just realized that came through loud and clear on the relationship run down! Capricorn is so very ‘capable.’ There can be almost a ‘disdain’ for the emotionally vulnerability of Cancer. But Cancer is strong in her own way! The important thing to remember is, it doesn’t have to be ‘either/or’. It can be BOTH!

    Maria, (I so love writing Tia Maria….reminds me of California!) ‘Part of the joy of living!’ Beautiful.

    Love is easy. I’m going to be saying that all day.

    Thank you!

  25. janita says:

    Thank you Kim and Jeanette:-)

    Kim..my Sun sign and ascedant hit well home for me :-)..aries both
    I have some old story left behind, and what a journey, to the one i have now: ” I am in love:-)”

    I loved this : “Astrology (the birth time and place) doesn’t determine our character. It’s the other way around. We’re born at a particular time because of who we are. We don’t reflect the moment of birth—it reflects us! Our astrology cannot limit conscious awareness, however it can offer timely insights and support along the way to our enlightenment.”
    i have been thinking a bit about this.. astrology and the law of attraction :- ) and what about e.i karma and past life in this ??

  26. Kim Falconer says:

    Hi Janita,

    I’m glad the ‘nut shell’ version of astrology and LOA made sense to you! And, I love the vibe of ‘I’m in love’! That feels wonderful, light and open. 🙂

    I’m interested in your thoughts of karma and past lives. How do you think it fits in the scheme of things?
    I find many people have different ideas about what karma means. Do you have a definition?

  27. Meg says:

    Laura:

    Your post really spoke to me. Thank you so much for sharing! I too, began most every relationship with one foot already out the door. I don’t know if it’s my moon in Aries opposite my venus in Libra, but the intensity of emotions, followed by the panic of feeling trapped really did a number on me. Luckily, I’ve been able to identify that unhealthy pattern, and am ready to begin anew.

    I love Mitch’s new story! Reading it felt very comforting.

    Just because I’m in a playful mood this morning, my story is “Profound love easily finds me”

    Thanks Jeannette and Kim for such a wonderful topic! I love when you two band together. Good times ensue!

  28. Kim Falconer says:

    Oh Meg,

    This is brilliant! “Profound love easily finds me”!

    I’m feeling that in my bones. Thanks for bringing it to the discussion! 🙂

  29. Kate says:

    Hi all,

    First – kim, what a great post! How empowering to reclaim our story(ies) & be able to work with them. I really love that quote about the greeks – “that which is written”.

    I’ve been pondering the 6 word story for myself. I think my ongoing story with relationships might be something along the lines of “I always end up disappointed”… This surprised me a little, I’m just going to leave it a few days and see what new vibration I might come up with 🙂

    I have Venus conjunct Ascendent in Leo, Sun Virgo and Moon in Pisces in the 7th. I think generally relationships are a big theme for me.

    Kim, I saw you mention exercises for working with your inner planets. Sometimes I feel like I am having a lot of internal struggles with my inner planets (also mercury in libra and mars in scorpio), theres quite a few different directions going on sometimes. I would be really interested to hear more about these exercises?

  30. Kim Falconer says:

    Hi Kate,

    My Muse is thrilled to hear you particularly liked the ancient Greek thought on Fate–‘that which is written’. I wasn’t going to put it in (ridiculously high word count to edit down) but my Muse insisted–said it was crucial. 🙂 (Now I’m getting a quite, ‘told you so . . ,’ in my head!)

    Good to identify the old story, especially if it surprises you (wasn’t conscious). I will post the exercise for working with inner planet sub personalities and let you know where/when . . . it helps get in touch and resolve conflicts!

  31. Emiko Jaffe says:

    Thanks for this post Kim and Jeannette!

    Okay, my story is similar to Mitch’s and Monica’s old stories: “Love/acceptance from others means enslavement” ew, yuck, right? So, for now, I am single and quite happy, by choice. I know I have some very dirty thoughts about romantic relationships (and not in a good way . . .), and I intend to clean them up some day–it’s just not a huge priority at the moment. As long as I feel that a romantic partner is out to suck the life force out of me, I’m inclined to stay away from them.

    The new story (this feels better 🙂 ): “Strong confident men dig me AND my fierce independence”

    I’m a pisces and I know typically we are a super sensitive lot, and I am sensitive in an intuitive way (and I love that about me!), but I’m not an unusually emotionally sensitive person–I know little about astrology, but does this make sense?.

    BTW, I love your explanation that our birth signs reflect our characteristics–that makes so much sense! That is definitely a fresh perspective on birth signs for me.

  32. Kim Falconer says:

    Emiko! Wow! vivid images crossing my mind on the vampire like qualities of men and the ‘blood slave’ nature of relationship! Sister, I was there too! It’s good material for urban fantasy . . . not so pleasant if you want to date.

    That you can see it so clearly is awesome and your new story, Strong confident men dig me AND my fierce independence” is one I am sticking to my computer along with 2 + 2 = Whatever I choose!

    What you describe of your Pisces sun expression makes perfect sense. There are inner planets that travel very close to the sun (Mercury and Venus) and they are always found in the sign before, of or after the sun sign. It is likely you have one or both these planets in the sign before Pisces–the Strong confident AND fiercely independent Aries!

    Our astrology is recognizable in the statements we make!

    Thanks for posting!

  33. Adrienne says:

    Even though I now know “coincidences” are not random, I am still delightfully surprised when they happen!! I JUST told a friend LAST night that if she believes all men are players, she will only see players. I’m working (and even meditated on it THIS morning) on what I (finally) realized is an “independence” challenge 😉 in my personality = a possible fear that marriage/commitment is smothering AND unsafe. What have I attracted into my life in the past? Unavailable men (emotionally, geographically, etc.) ensuring my being alone, even during the relationship! What are my signs? I’m a Leo (Self) with a Capricorn moon (Independence/Self-Sufficiency) and a Virgo rising. After reading above what at least the first two signs mean, need I say more? wow.

    My old story: “Relationships won’t last; I’ll be alone.”

    My new story: “I’m never alone*; I HAVE a** LASTING love relationship.”
    *I always have my higher power, anyway.
    ** not just “a” but “THE most perfect for me”!! 😉

    THANK YOU, Kim, for guest posting (and Jeannette for asking) this AWESOME and synchronistic article – LOVE IT! XOXOXOXO!!

  34. Kim Falconer says:

    Adrienne,

    I think a LOT of us have beliefs about relationship being smothering or limiting. It could have something to do with the shift in the cultural paradigm over the last few decades. We carry genetic memories of the past where this may well have been the case (for parents or grandparents) –but not any more. Relationship can be whatever we want it to be!

    Our genetic memory gremlins get realigned every time we think that thought–What ever we want it do be!

    Love your new story! And the synchronicity!

    Thanks for dropping in!

    🙂

  35. Kate says:

    Thanks kim – glad to hear your muse is working well 🙂

    ‘We choose which version of our lives to tell’
    Its just great!

  36. Janette says:

    Just tweeted and will reiterate here – Kim, I am SO THERE with the offer to pimp our vibes, LOL!!! I’m making it a part of my daily mirror ritual (when I say daily, let me make it clear I’m doing Jack Canfield’s 40-day mirror exercise as recommended by Jeannette – but I only started yesterday so it’s currently daily in name only!).

    w00t!

  37. janita says:

    Its so funny how complicated i put things in my mind into somethimes.. So im happy for learning, growing, expanding:-)
    Yes i love to:- ) this is a subject that interessted me alot, so i try to keep it short 🙂
    My definition of karma is: you reap what you sow- as you give so you recive.
    I belive karma is recorded and balanced. Loving thoughts, emotions, words and deeds are credit. negative ones are debits. The universe calls these up when we least expect it. I do belive people unaware of karma call it fate or luck, good ot bad..
    Bad thoughts and deeds return to you. So does kindness, thoughtfulness, love joy and generosity. To the exact extend that you live these qualities, you will at some time receive an equivalent back into your life. It may not be from the direction you sent it to.

    Karma is carried forward from lifetime to lifetime, some we may not experince the consequenses of our actions until a subquent lifetime.
    I belive health is your karma. And that before you incarnate you choose your family, your life challenges and your mission.
    I belive that our soul choose our family before we are born to unresolve feelings or situations in past life. They offer you the lessons your soul need to learn. Some humans often refuse accept the opportunities which our relatives offer us for growt and transmution of karma. Instead we prefer to carry on tha old vandettas of feelings of reperation and irritation.
    I belive that the mindset you bring into this life with you are also karma and that you only carry karma until you have learnt the lesson. Ignorance keep ones burnered. You are responsible for your mindset, and change them if they do not serve. Like when your beliefs do not make you happy you can choose to and change them. And if you have a problem with someone, mentally wish them well. This will start fo heal the karma. And i read once that if you wish to enjoy a secure future pay back your spiritual depts and build up credit in the bank of the Universe 🙂

  38. Wow, I haven’t been on here in a bit, but what a perfect post to come back to!! Thanks Kim and Jeannette:)

    I’m a Capricorn and the Capricorn/Cancer explanation was dead-on! I can be both extremely independent and needy all at the same time! For me the trick has been finding someone who allows me to express both of those qualities in myself, at different times.

    My story about relationships has always been “guys are scared of me.” Granted, I do have a PRETTY big personality at times which can be a little scary (!), but I definitely gravitate towards guys who get easily intimidated by me and back away, even if they’re interested. They’re either scared of relationships in general, or just get spooked by me in particular. Naturally, those guys who aren’t scared of me do absolutely nothing for me! Haha.

    I think my new story’s going to be, “Guys can handle me,” or something along those lines. That way, I’ll start attracting guys who are willing to step up to the plate with me… or if I’m subconsciously pushing guys away to “scare” them, then I can put a stop to that:)

    Sounds fun!

  39. LOVING this conversation, everyone!

    Kim, you really know how to start a party. 😉

    I haven’t got mine to six words yet, but was thinking it goes like: “I’m a hell of a deal” AND “I’m hard to handle.” Meaning, not everyone could put up with me, but those who are up for it will be well-rewarded. he he

    So of course, Mary, I could relate to your “Guys can handle me” new story commitment. Or at least, “Russ can handle me.” lol

    What fun we’re having with our deliberate creative powers here!!

    Thanks, everyone!

  40. Kim Falconer says:

    Janette, I’m thinking of ways to swap vibes….why not, when inspired, send each other a short description of our vibe feeling (my career, your relationship) on twitter. As we read each others, we get that feeling, that ‘vibe hit’ and make it our own. Sort of like NFTU only NFEO (Notes from each other)…

    Give it a go?

    As long as Hugh and Stephanie don’t get confused on who their contracts are with, all will be well!!! 🙂 he he he

  41. Kim Falconer says:

    Hi Janita,

    Thank you for that powerful delivery and insights into Karma. You are rock solid with it and that means it is absolutely true for the world you create. I really liked this part, ‘when your beliefs do not make you happy you can choose to change them.’

    And sending beautiful thoughts to people you might be having difficulties with, that’s golden. It reminds me of Jeannette’s story of when she called the phone company (was it phone or electricity?) with some ridiculously huge and wrong bill and at first thought it was going to be nothing but trouble.

    We know what that would have created…nothing but trouble. But, (while on hold for extended periods of time) instead of thinking, ‘this is crap, this is the worst, I’m screwed’, she said, I LOVE this company; they treat me like gold!….and in the end, it was true!

    (Did I get that right, Jeannette?)

    The notion of ‘what we give is what we get’ can be seen in action here. What we ‘give’ is what we ‘think’. What we ‘think’ is woven into who we ‘are’, and who we are is reflected in the moment of birth–our astrology.

    I do think it is ‘bigger’ than that though. I’m not sure how to explain it yet, but I think what’s really going on is a much more boundless experience.

    More on this as it becomes clear!

    Thanks again for posting!

  42. ola says:

    Wow, great ideas in your post Kim. I love it!
    And only 6 words? With my retro Mercury… lol, challenging! Thank you! And after first reading of your post I can say that I can really identify with Scorpio (my Sun) and Sag (Asc). Especially Sag, since my Venus is also in Sag.

    It really evolved through years and first it was 1. ‘It hurts, I want to die’
    2. ‘All is a lie, they don’t care’ (here it was my Venus/Nept conj talking I guess)
    3. ‘Only friends please, I’ll be alone’
    4. ‘I find joy giving love to people’

    and I’m curious were it will go from here…

  43. Kim Falconer says:

    Mary! Bells are going off in my head. I am getting so much out of everyone’s posts and you pointing out the ‘fear factor’ made me sit bolt upright.

    Duh. Guys are freaked by me! (did I just say that aloud?) Good!

    My old story is like your old story (apparently there can be quite a few old stories on the same subject). I’ve had guys so trepidations they don’t even show up for dates! eeegads! I totally ‘forgot’ this one.

    New story of ‘handle me’ has a tiny bit of control implied (for me) so I am saying, ‘Guys love my eccentricity!’ The first thing that has to happen of course is, ‘I love my eccentricity.’

    I know you totally know this but language is SO important (and revealing). If I say, ‘I want to find someone who allows me to express both of those qualities in myself…power and vulnerability,’ then I’m either not allowing it in me, or I’m waiting for someone else to allow it for me…. I’m not in charge…someone else is (which is all part of the Capricorn – Cancer vibe in the first place!)

    I’ve this opposition with my Venus and Mars so it is VERY much enmeshed in my love life. I now say, ‘I allow my power AND vulnerability.’ Simple as that.

    When we accept something in ourselves, the guys we attract accept it too–look for it even. Love it!

    Thank you for posting. I’m having such an epiphany here.

    Jeannette, ‘I’m a hell of a deal!’ I like that. I mean, it takes a pretty cool guy to be up for one hell of a deal! Loving the vibe! 🙂

  44. Kim Falconer says:

    Hi Ola,

    Wow, thanks for giving us a taste of Scorpio in #1. There is such a desire for intensity and that Scorpio vibe does like to make things a ‘matter of live or death.’

    There are ways to keep it ‘on the edge intense’ and shift the vibe (because Scorp will not be happy with anything too light weight)…

    I’m thinking something like, ‘I attract ‘to die for’ partners. 🙂

    The evolution of your story is brilliant to see. Where do you want it to go next? If you could fast forward say, one year, what is your story then?

    Thanks for posting!

  45. Emiko Jaffe says:

    Kim,

    I LOVE “I allow my power AND vulnerability.” That’s GOOD.

    Your epiphany is infectious . . . I just thought “hmmm . . . if I feel I attract clingy/needy men, where am I being clingy/needy???” Wow. Good one, will have to investigate and open myself up to receive an answer there!

    Mary, I’m hearing that you’re attracted to guys you scare and not attracted to guys who accept you (that is, when you’re not trying to scare them away!). Could it be that by pursuing unavailable (spooked) men, you are shielding yourself from deep rejection (being with men who initially accept you could be unattractive if you’re afraid they might reject you once they get to know the ‘real you’ . . .I’ve had this one, still confront it on occasion and not just with romantic relationships . . .). I resonate on that: I tend to do a “come closer/stay back!/come closer/stay back!” dance with men once I think I may be interested in them romantically . . . I know this must be excruciatingly annoying (but I suspect that’s my objective? ha!) and it’s on my list of things to clean up when I decide to go there . . .

    This is so fascinating! <3 you guys!!

  46. ola says:

    OMG thank you for your response Kim.

    You made me realize and admit, and remember about that Scorpio needs. They are 12house, so hidden much.
    I usually don’t show people my intensity, because it is really sth that can scare much. They see much lighter face of Sag.

    I would be happy if someone would want my intensity and sometimes really dark side and share my Venus/Neptune visions of deep, universal, almost God like love.

    I am not sure If I am now ready to formulate my story FF one year.

    But ‘I attract to die for partners’ is a great one! And it resonates with my soul.
    Hmm… and I think I wouldn’t mind also ‘I am partner to die for’. Actually as I think about it I would like both, for the balance of intensity.

    Thank you much again!

  47. Janette says:

    Kim, love your NFEO idea, so cool!!

  48. Gillian says:

    Wow, this is a fabulous post Kim! Reading my sign (Taurus) it’s so clear how I yearn for change, but fear the instability assiciated with change. Especially with the year of the metal tiger coming up in 2010, which signifies “Drastic Change”, I am not sure wether to look forward to it or fear it. On one hand I yearn for a change and a new beginning, yet on the other hand I am jittery about what to expect as we may face drastic changes. Oh well, I’ll stick to your story: “things just keep getting better!”

  49. Mitch says:

    Kim and Janette, can I get in on this too?? lol While my old story is about loving feeling stifling, I forgot to mention that because of my healthy (maybe) detachment from having a relationship, I can manifest them like the flick of a switch.

    Kim, I’m willing to swap you some of my easy love mojo for some of your stellar career magic. 😀

  50. Kim Falconer says:

    Mitch, that’s a deal 🙂 Just hearing you say, ‘My easy love mojo’ has me smiling….That’s a powerful statement! I like!

    Gillian, So glad you dropped in! Year of the Tiger is wildly potent–Jeannette and I are writing that up for 2010 as we speak (Jeannette, you’ve already done your part–I’ll email soon:) Meanwhile, ‘Things just keep getting better!!!’

    Janette, NFEO…that’s going to be a new tweet thang #NFEO

    Ola, I love, ‘I’m a partner to die for!’ That’s what I after! Thank you!!!

  51. Kim!! So glad my story resonated with you! And I love what you said about your new story of guys loving your eccentricity… I’m going to use that one myself:) You know what’s funny? You’ve said that thing to me about language and allowing before! For some reason I keep giving my power to BE away to others… Like, I only feel I can be a certain way if the other person is okay with it. Maybe this time it will actually sink in that I only *I* have the power to decide who I’m going to be and actually allow it, regardless of others! Thanks for the reminder:)

    Emiko, I totally get what you’re saying and I think that’s definitely a big part of my story! I think there’s something inside of me that I think others would reject if they saw it… so the minute a guy starts to get close I have to “scare” him and push him away so he doesn’t see that part of me and reject me. Now if I could just figure out what that part is!! Good food for thought:)

    One thing I know for sure is that it always comes back to self-love. If we could just love those places inside of us that we think are so scary, we’d a) find out they’re really not so scary after all, and b) finally let others in and allow them to love those parts of us, too! 🙂

    Thanks for all the insights!!

  52. Leslie Richter says:

    Okay I am loving these conversations and I love it Kim that guys are sooo freaked out with maybe meeting with you they don’t show up for the date.
    Oh plez …sweet pussy-cat you, I am glad you are seeing all of this for yourself and not afraid anymore of all the many splendoured parts of yourself.
    What a great insight that what we are whinning about in our love life is what we are not allowing in for ourselves. It’s all about that love yourself first stuff and showing the world how you want to be loved.
    Recently I have recognized I am ready for easy pleasy love support, so busy supporting and pleasing the rest of the world I lost myself.
    So in my new world love easily supports and pleases me!

    Love Leslie

  53. janita says:

    Thank you alot Kim 🙂 and what you say about ” what we give is what we get” im all in with that..and im so exited and so looking forward to more insight about this:-)

    Jeanettes phone bill story..wow !! there we see in actions that the thoughts and feelings/emotions really count 🙂
    Im so delighted to read the posts from every one..can relate to alot, have some ahas, and so inspiring reading 🙂

  54. Mary why am I not surprised at our stories being so similar! I’m saggi but with my cappy rising and cancer moon that reading was DEAD on for me.

    Old story “Guys I like don’t like me and guys I don’t like, like me” Emiko’s explanation was oh sooo on target! Ha.

    New Story “Guys I like SO like ME!”

  55. Haha, I hear you Tia! 🙂

    I always have an abundance of guys hanging around that I’m NOT into, but the ones I AM into are a little harder to come by! And even then, they’re always “scared” of me… 😉

    Time to shake up this story and get rid of it permanently!! Go us!

  56. Kim Falconer says:

    Mary, Leslie, it does all come down to self-love. Everything is inside, not outside…and language is like the carrier pigeon–the words are not ‘it’ but the feeling behind them. We can help straighten out our love vibe by checking the pigeon’s flight path—‘a partner that allows me’ is quite different from ‘I allow.’

    Leslie!~ Meow!

    Love easily supports and pleases me! Me too! I’m so on board with that one as well.

    You are all giving so much to this topic. I am so grateful!
    xxx

  57. Kim Falconer says:

    Janita, I’m hoping Jeannette will tell the story properly…it is so inspiring! (Jeannette IS inspiring!) I agree, everyone’s posts are bringing new insights and bingo moments. It’s wonderful! 🙂

    Tia—New Story “Guys I like SO like ME!” I love that!!! Thank you 🙂

    All is well:)

  58. Pat says:

    Kim:
    As always, Universe sends me what I need when I most need it. I’m grateful to have your thoughts and words and Jeanette’s guidance at this time in my journey.

    I’m a Virgo who has just allowed myself to be devastated by the same Pisces twice in one year!

    Using Jeanette’s advice to ‘do what feels good’ I’m enjoying the sound track from Chicago…singing about retaliating against men who ‘do us wrong’ is VERY healing just now…and, so much better to sing about it than to actually DO it! It’s a guilty pleasure that will lead to much better things!
    I’m also exercising, eating healthier and seriously pondering changing my hair color back to auburn….All of which I believe will help me to rediscover the person I WAS 4 years ago, before the death of my Lover of 15 years!
    Once I recover my old-self, I can transit into the new version of ME I must become to move forward. I will have my self-love and personal power back and then, and only then, I will also find forgiveness in my heart so I can put this selfish and destructive Pisces permanently in my past!

    I’m 56 years old so my Love Story is long:
    *Started Out…who will fill my Daddy void?
    *Became…my Husband was the wrong choice.
    *Continued…my Lover makes me feel treasured in a way that I have never experienced with any man in my life. He loves me for who I am and has no desire to change any part of me, even those challenging aspects of my personality. He appreciates and embraces the positive things I bring to our relationship.
    *Next…his unexpected death 3 1/2 years ago was the greatest loss I’ve ever experienced. I lived in a fog until last year.
    *False Start…opened my heart to someone who wasn’t looking for a loving heart, just a warm body. And, 10 months later, I accepted his apology and almost let him back in. Thank You Lord for loving family and friends to give me strength and guidance and protect me from old self-destructive patterns.
    *My new life…will be filled with self respect, self love, personal power, joy in everyday things and the knowledge that I am my own happiness.

    My six words are: I’m a Gift to be Treasured!

  59. Parul says:

    I’m Ready To Embrace True Love :)!!

  60. Kim Falconer says:

    Pat, your post has really moved me! How wonderful to see your old ‘his’Story and find now I’m a Gift to be Treasured!

    And also, I treasure my gifts! That one feels kick ass/take charge amp’ed up to me!

    Thank you for sharing your journey. Your new life IS filled with everything you want!

    Namaste,
    Kim 🙂

  61. Kim Falconer says:

    Parul,

    I like!

    Even shorter and in the absolute now–I embrace true love!

    Thank you! 🙂

  62. Annette says:

    Kim, thank you for this thought-provoking post!
    I held a Values class yesterday and one of the things we discovered was that I put ‘Primary Relationship’ at the furthest point from me! I was giving a list of the 9 areas of life, from inner to outer, and #1 was Personal/Home. #9 was Primary Relationship!!! THAT was immediately pointed out by the astute Iyabo and seconded by Janette and Nikki. Eye-opening to say the least. And then I go to Jeannette’s blog – – what’s there? Your article!!!
    (insert Twilight Zone music here)
    I really adore sharing, and I WANT (read in petulant voice, please) someone who’s there and gets me 16/7 – allowing time for sleep.
    So the old story goes: The ‘one’ is out there.
    Which translate into out there, not here.
    New story: Where’d this fantastic mate come from?!?!
    My tummy is gigging.

  63. Parul says:

    Wow!! Thanks Kim :).

    This is really good. I embrace true love!! 🙂

  64. Ola says:

    Needed to add sth to my old stories.
    Kim with one word ‘appreciate’ you brought a storm to my soul. Thank you for that!

    I was wondering to keep it a secret (haha Scorpio primitive urges!) but decided that it’s too important to keep it down. You know, underneath all my old stories was always ‘not worthy’ with big letters (as I have hmm ‘interesting’ Saturn square Venus and Moon).

    So as I read Pat ‘I’m a Gift to be Treasured’ I can totally identify with that as my path to ‘I am a partner to die for’. Thank you Pat!

    I thought maybe finding and 100% accepting my Scorpio new story is through some Taurean seeking values in myself, as Taurus complete Scorpio in some way.
    Thank you Kim!

  65. Siouxane Martincic says:

    After reading this, I’d have to say in the past I’d say that healthy relationships don’t exist, However after meeting my partner I’d say that we ‘groom each other in the best possible way’.
    Thanx Kim

  66. Parul says:

    HE loves me!! 😀

  67. Pat says:

    The hair color is in place!
    No longer grey but now sassy, vibrant Auburn! With the color, came the attitude…also sassy and vibrant once again!
    The color is the EXTERNAL symbol of the INTERNAL triumph!
    I am once again energetic and self-assured! I am once more a powerful woman, loving myself and sharing my joyous energy! I am ME and I am a gift to be treasured!

  68. Pure Potential says:

    Healthy relationship with self = healthy relationships

  69. Kim Falconer says:

    I LOVE that one, Susan! This was the conversation I was having yesterday. Someone asked me how they could develop and expand feelings of empathy. I said, begin with yourself. Empathize with YOU. Love YOU. Care for YOU and that love and compassion and empathy will flow out into all your encounters with others.

    Thank you! 🙂

    Annette, I’ve been saying that all week! ‘Where did this fantastic man come from????’ and ‘Why am I so lucky in love?’ (big turnarounds for me!) Have you noticed any shifts?

    Parul, I embrace true love. Thank you!

    Ola, it was Abe that said ‘Appreciation was the highest form of love.’ I didn’t get that right away, but it’s deep in my bones now!

    Siouxane, your living example inspires me every day!

    Pat, I just put a colour in my hair–hint of passion red. Love the feeling!

    As I reread all the comments here I feel waves of gratitude. Thank you for the insights!!!

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