Hands Off the Hows
But I’ve seen another way we sometimes handicap our success – which is by focusing on the end result we think will make us happy.
Sometimes that focus becomes yet another “how” that muddies the water of our highest satisfaction and joy.
For example …
I know someone who didn’t like their daughter’s new boyfriend, wishing he would make a swift exit from the family. Sure enough he did, and took his girlfriend with him. (That was not what they wanted.)
I know someone else who intended massive traffic to her site, which she got. But it wasn’t relevant traffic, so she had virtually no sales or signups and her bounce rate went though the roof.
I know another person focused on manifesting money, was very successful in doing so, but shortly after experienced a heartbreaking betrayal by his life partner. The money was little solace as his world seemed to fall apart.
What each of these manifestors has in common is using their creative powers to conjure the details of a reality they thought would make them happy – rather than focusing on happiness itself.
I’ve done it many times myself … when I thought I’d be happy if I could just make this coaching thing work, if I could just lose 5 more pounds, if my cat would just get better, etc. etc.
We can be such micro-managers of our happiness, can’t we? Thinking that if we could just get that one thing that’s missing, then life will be good.
But it doesn’t work that way.
Abraham, Mike Dooley, Bashar and plenty of other LOA teachers tell us to keep our hands off the hows – and instead focus on how we want to feel.
In doing that we target our true desire, which allows Universe to do a stellar job of sorting out the details that best match those high vibrations. (Guaranteed it knows an even better way to delight you than you’ve got in mind.)
That’s how we avoid creating results that may or may not ultimately enhance our satisfaction and joy in life.
And having said that, I know that sometimes the best way for us to feel what we want to feel is by focusing on a specific potential “result.”
As in, it’s easier to feel excited about a new romance when you imagine seeing the handsome stranger for the first time, or it’s easier to feel financial freedom when you pretend you’ve quit work and are planning a dream trip to Italy.
If that’s the case for you, just remember to use those specific details as a way to enhance your feeling state; not to require that particular thing to unfold. It truly makes all the difference in the world.