How to Manifest a Keeper

July 27, 2015 | 24 Comments »

manifest lasting love and romanceThis post is by request after Mia asked how I manifested the guy who felt like “home sweet home” the first time I laid eyes on him.

I’ve probably shared this story somewhere else, but I like it so much I thought it worth retelling. ๐Ÿ™‚

It’s 2006 and I’ve been actively dating a bunch of fabulous men for about a year or two.ย I’ve had an absolute blast with amazing guys, but the whole “rotation,” we’ll call it, is starting to lose its luster.

I’m (finally) in the mood for a keeper.

Someone I can put some time in with. To get to know someone in a way that you don’t during 3 month stints. I want a relationship that’s got legs.

My name for him is “One of the Ones.” (Because I don’t believe in just One.)

But I’m ready for someone Significant. Someone to go the distance with.

So I decide to manifest One of the Ones. My attitude about it was, “Bring him on, Universe, I’m ready for a keeper!”

That wasn’t out of frustration with dating, or being treated poorly by men. I was having a great time. I was just ready for something else.

(I think that vibrational setup matters.)

I had loved being single and loved meeting new guys. But now I just wanted to love a new guy for a longer while.

After deciding this (not wanting it, not wishing for it, but deciding it), the next thing I did was make a list. The ubiquitous manifesting list.

Mine’s got 47 things on it, including that he’s a dog lover and drives a truck. (I’m thinking a down to earth kind of guy who loves animals.)

I wrote the list once and mostly forgot about it. (I might have read it once or twice after for fun, but it certainly wasn’t a regular practice.)

Due to what I knew about vibration and attraction, I strongly suspected I would meet this guy doing something that I loved. Right? Love your life, and life gets even better.

So I suspected I would meet my new guy while doing something with my dogs. Probably a dog walk up the canyon. But maybe Petsmart, maybe at the dog park. Maybe at a volunteer event. But probably up that favorite canyon of mine.

On every walk I had an eagle eye out for cutie patootie guys with no rings. “Oh, maybe that’s him!” I would think when I turned the corner to see another handsome stranger smiling at me. (I was probably throwing off some strange energy.)

Other than those dog walks where I knew I was eventually going to meet him, I’m enjoying other parts of my life as if he were already here

  • I grocery shop like I’m picking up things for me and my cool new boyfriend.
  • I sit in the movie theater like my date’s just out standing in the popcorn line.
  • I talk to girlfriends as if it’s already a done deal. I giggle like someone already in love, but really I’m just anticipating the delights of a new love. They aren’t sure what to make of me.

So basically I’ve got a couple of LOA elements in play:

I know he’s coming (because I said so). I’m expecting to meet him on a dog walk someday (no hurry, no time pressure). I’m enjoying myself in the meantime and also acting as if he’s already here (in certain moments where it works to do that).

In the meantime, back at the ranch, I am done with dating and have no interest in reactivating my online dating profile. Great entertainment, but no keepers. That was my assessment.

Here’s where Universe started to surprise me …

One day I’m on the computer and an ad gets my attention for eharmony. Never did eharmony; have no intention of starting now.

Except inspiration is crawling all over this thing.

Like, I can’t ignore it. I feel something pulling me to check out this eharmony thing.

Seriously, eharmony?! Sheesh. I don’t know what Universe is thinking – I’m meeting my guy at a dog park. But I know not to ignore inspiration, even when it makes no sense.

So fine. I put up a profile.ย Just to satisfy that guidance that said to.

And sure enough, it was such a bad idea that I asked eharmony for a refund when they only returned three matches. One of which was already hooked up and hadn’t taken himself off the site yet. They apologized for not having more matches and refunded my fee.

There was one match, though, who requested a fast track so we could exchange messages. I didn’t know the whole fast track routine, but I said yes and we exchanged a few notes. Nice enough guy. Kind of funny. Attentive, but respectful. I wasn’t having a bad time.

Until he shared his must-haves and can’t-stands. (I think it’s called something different now.)

His must-haves included something like “fashionable” or “stylish” and “financially responsible.”

Okay, stylish is the last thing anyone is ever going to call me. Andย the last time I balanced my checkbook was after mysterious untraceable money kept showing up in my account. I figured it was my easy money intention coming to fruition, andย stopped tracking that balance. So if he’s looking for someone with her nails done and her bank balance accounted for, I’m not her.

I tell him it looks like we’re not a match and I shut down my profile.

Eharmony delivers his impassioned plea for me to reconsider. He thinks we have potential. He thinks there’s something worth exploring.

Something in me has a yes for this, although I really don’t want him to get in the way of the guy I’m meeting on my dog walk.

Okay, fine, I say, we can meet up in person.

Soon after I’m driving to meet him for a movie date.

As soon as I saw him, I felt like I’d come home. It felt like I’d been on vacation all my life and I was finally coming home sweet home.

He just felt so right.

It wasn’t that he was the most handsome guy I’d ever seen. It wasn’t that he was so charming and witty that he swept me off my feet instantly. It wasn’t that I was dazzled by his wealth and success in life.

I just knew this was where I was meant to be.

Bizarre, right? I’d never experienced anything like that with a guy before.

He didn’t have a dog and he didn’t drive a truck. But as we got to know each other I learned he was 43 of the 47 things I’d put on that list.

I had a girlfriend once who told me about how the first time she saw her husband, she knew they’d be married. He was just a guy in a bar, and she came to work the next day knowing they would marry. (They did! And they’re married to this day!) I didn’t understand how anything could work like that.

But I do now.

The time from deciding to call in One of the Ones to meeting my guy online was three weeks. That was nine years ago, he reminded me the other day when heย saidย happy anniversary. ๐Ÿ™‚

To recap this manifesting process:

  1. I believed he existed (lots of people have given up hope or think all the good ones are taken).
  2. I claimed it by deciding to manifest it.
  3. I got clear and focused using a list.
  4. I enjoyed myself in the meantime (not sitting on pins and needles waiting for him to show).
  5. I activated the vibration by acting as if (on occasion, not constantly).
  6. And I honored inspiration (even when it didn’t make sense).

What wasn’t part of it was looking for him on the dog walks. Go figure.

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24 Responses to “ How to Manifest a Keeper ”

  1. Ian RoeBuck says:

    Great article very descriptive and I hope it helps some people out. I think 43 out of 47 is not a bad combination. ๐Ÿ™‚

  2. Namaste says:

    Jeannette,

    I appreciate you sharing this manifesting list success story. I’m always telling people to make a list. Now I have another story to share with them about the power of the list =)

    And congrats on your manifesting success =)

    Namaste

  3. I was hoping you would end the story by telling us you paid back to eharmony the money they refunded you.

    • Jeannette says:

      Ha! No, but I do rave to single friends and acquaintances that eharmony was very cool magic for me. (I really think they’re on to something with that formula of theirs!)

  4. ash says:

    I too made a list but the guy never showed up ๐Ÿ™

    Should i make the list again??

    • Jeannette says:

      I wouldn’t bother with a list, Ash – I’d probably do something about my instruction that “he never showed up.” That’s in direct contradiction to what it sounds like you want to create, so I’d start there.

      (And of course check for all the usual stuff – attachment, vibrational alignment, payoffs, etc.)

  5. Mia says:

    I’m happy that I manifested this great article! ๐Ÿ™‚ Thanks for telling that story, Jeannette.

    By the way, just yesterday I came across an article about Arielle Ford who wrote a book on manifesting her soulmate. When she was asked how she would describe a soul mate, she answered: “… when we look into their eyes we feel like we are ‘home’.” Same experience as yours it seems! ๐Ÿ™‚

    I appreciate the lessons we get from your article, especially those:

    – You have to be READY and WILLING to really get what you want – which also takes courage and determination I think.

    – I like that you honored your inspiration even if it didn’t come the way you expected (eharmoy instead of dog walks).
    People always tell me that in order to meet like-minded friends I should join other people in doing activities that I love. So far, that has never worked for me. So maybe I should be open for a completely different option, just like you were.

    I have a question, too: You – and many others – always stress how important it is to be happily single before you can manifest a romantic partner into your life. But what to do if you really feel quite alone or even lonely – how can you shift that vibration? I’m not so much talking about attracting a romantic partner here but more of attracting happy, nourishing relationships of all kind. Would you practice being a “happy lonely” or “happy friendless” person first? ๐Ÿ™‚ And how to do that?

    Jeannette, I’d really like to hear how Russ is telling that same story – can I maybe manifest him writing a blog post, too? ๐Ÿ™‚

    Thank you for sharing!
    Mia

    • Jeannette says:

      Getting a partner won’t necessarily shift the loneliness. In fact, some find it exacerbates it, believe if or not.

      So getting clear on your TRUE desire might be a good start. (Which Abe tells us is ALWAYS a feeling.) I’d make it my new mission to activate that vibration, whatever it is.

      I’m a big fan of these two things for getting comfortable with being alone:

      http://www.goodvibeuniversity.com/public/How_to_Be_Alone.cfm
      https://youtu.be/8ESdn0MuJWQ

      And I’ll ask Russ tonight for his version. ๐Ÿ™‚

      • Mia says:

        Thank you both for the feedback, Jeannette and Elle – I hope I understood what you wanted to tell me. I’m not quite sure what my true desire is (behind the “loneliness”), so that’s the tricky part for me …

        Jeannette, from your replies to all questions here I gather that true appreciation, really embracing what is – this seems to be the overall key for successfull manifesting, right?

        P.S.: Did a strong foundation of self-love play a role in manifesting your desired relationship, too?

        What an interesting discussion! ๐Ÿ™‚
        Mia

        • Jeannette says:

          Good point, Mia. I don’t think I ever would have had that much fun in dating world if I wasn’t rockin’ the self-love vibe!

    • Elle says:

      The thing about loneliness is that we actually are not alone in the grand scheme of things. This is why I would like to talk more about Source energy, the fact that it is our “true parent” and that we are part of it, albeit “far” from it (but not really, for it is an illusion) and, when knowing this, one does not feel lonely, but is instead filled with Source. This alignment and connection is important.

      OK, I may be a little over your head right now, but I think your experience with loneliness will lead you closer to Source, as all problems do. Hopefully, I added something that will be helpful to you.

      If not, as always, great post!

  6. Lyn R says:

    Thanks for the tap on the shoulder Jeannette. Clearly universe is reminding me not to be so happy with how things are that I stop asking how can it get better than this. I have had my list and quietly refresh it when I find something else attractive to add, I talk to a lot of people, I sing songs of love because I am in love. Any special action to pivot from this is great to hello Mr Marvellous?

    • Jeannette says:

      Two things come to mind:

      One, maybe we could embrace the idea that “even better” doesn’t include a Mr. Marvellous. Maybe! Who knows? Let’s be open to what “even better” looks like!

      Second (and these don’t necessarily go together, it’s probably one or the other) – to whatever extent you’re aware that he’s not here, I’d soften or drop that awareness. Let him be present.

      One way of approaching that … I mean, he DOES exist. Already. Right now. He’s born and living somewhere, right now. And we don’t need to be in the same room to be aware of each other. I can talk to him now. I can appreciate who he is now. I can enjoy thoughts of him already. Nothing holding me back from that. And that’s a much more aligned vibe than when I wonder why he hasn’t appeared yet.

      It’s the same thing we’re doing with money – did you read the 3 LOA Keys ebook where the first step is to appreciate what is here? When we do that our vibrational instructions make it a lot easier for the goods to appear. ๐Ÿ™‚

  7. Lyn R says:

    I sometimes feel I may be too at peace with what is content with my single life. Is that possible?

    • Jeannette says:

      I don’t think that’s possible. I’d enjoy the peace! There’s no way that embracing what life is right now holds it back from getting better. Quite the opposite, in fact.

      I can’t find it quickly, but I thought I’d written before about how much I loved my last house, so much so I knew I would never leave it. And yet here I am now in a new house that I love so much more I refused to go back to the other one that once upon a time I wanted nothing more than to live my life out in. Appreciation (true appreciation) is incredibly powerful!!

  8. Stacy says:

    I had similar feelings about just “knowing” when I was buying my house. I just had this knowing that I was about to look at MY house – before I even saw it. I’d already looked at several houses that day, and it was while driving down the road that would get me into the neighborhood, that I started getting that feeling. It got stronger as I drove down the street and was blaring when we pulled into the driveway. And sure enough, I closed on that house 2 weeks later.

    So I know I can have that knowing – but with relationships, I’ve had the opposite knowing. For some reason – and I have no idea where it came from – when I was quite young -before I ever started dating (I’m talking I was 12 or so) – and long before my parents divorced, I just had this gut feeling/knowing that I’d never find someone.

    And yes, it has been a self-fulfilling prophecy. I know I’ve attracted that because of those beliefs. I just don’t know how to shake that unwanted “knowing” I’ve had since I was a kid. I’ve felt that was my fate since I was a kid.

    Any advice on how to soften such a negative and unwanted “knowing”/feeling that has been around for the majority of my life? Especially since I have years of evidence of that initial gut feeling being spot on?

    • Jeannette says:

      What a fun experience, Stacy! And interesting, too, because I’ve had that same knowing about my two homes, too! Although not as dramatic as yours, there was a solid “knowing” as soon as I walked through that this was my home.

      So about your “I’ll never find someone” gut feeling … I might soften it by embracing it. You know, I’ve seen lots of very successful people who aren’t all about finding their soul mate or significant other. They’re quite fulfilled and happy with life all on their own. They actually make it look really attractive. Maybe you could join them in that approach?

      My mind is filled with a bunch of better-feeling-thoughts on this subject, but the ones that feel better to me may not be the ones that feel better to you.

      We know that’s the process, though … find the thoughts that feel better. Rinse and repeat. And you’re golden. ๐Ÿ™‚

  9. Christy says:

    I quite enjoyed reading this post. Thank you so much, Jeannette, you really are an amazing woman!

    I’ve heard about eharmony a few years ago when I was still legally married (mind you, I’m only referring to the status here) and I told myself that the website would probably be handy for me in the future. I have not tried it out till now. I don’t really know why, but I just don’t have the ‘feeling’ (to try it out) yet although it came to mind a few times. Maybe I still have doubts or fear :p

    But I made a list at least twice. I think I will revisit the list just to see if it needs any update ๐Ÿ˜€ And I am happy being single again. I really am. I actually see it as a blessing ๐Ÿ™‚ And I am learning to love myself more every day. I think I’m on the right track. One question I have is, being happy as a single person doesn’t always mean an active dating life, right? Because I am happy being single even though I don’t actively date. Is that possible?

    • Jeannette says:

      Absolutely, Christy! Being happily single doesn’t have to look like anything in particular – it’s all about how it feels. ๐Ÿ™‚

      It makes me think – along those lines – for someone else reading this, they might have made a list and it makes them feel worse about their partner not being here. Someone else could make the list and feel excited about the possibilities. So just like there’s different ways to be single, there’s different ways to make that (i.e. feel about) that list.

      Sounds like you’re on a really good track already just by being happy in your current state! Kudos for that. ๐Ÿ™‚

  10. Meme says:

    Manifesting a keeper…..
    I feel like I can manifest men that I am interested in or would be interested in dating/a relationship. They approach me, we might have a few conversations; text etc. I get excited/anxious (probably attached to the outcome-hoping that something more will happen.) I might initiate contact and then I can feel their interest disappear. I have to admit, I am feeling a bit of a complex over it! I would just like there to be a lasting attraction-something that progresses past “the approaching stage”, especially with the men I am interested in dating/having a relationship. I honestly feel that the universe is just teasing me, by placing these guys that I wanted into my life, but taking them quickly back out of my life! I’m talking about a matter of a few days…..

    I must be blocked or stuck….etc. This is the only area in my life where I struggle! In every other area, most everything seems possible…..

    This doesn’t happen with the guys that I am not interested in, but only the ones that I am interested in. What am I doing wrong? I am about to completely give up!

    • Jeannette says:

      You know, whatever it is we’re manifesting, if we’re not having fun, we gotta go somewhere else where we can have fun. This is why Communion of Light recommends giving up early and often, I am sure.

      Whenever I find myself getting frustrated with something, that’s my cue to get back to fun. If I can’t do it on this topic or with this project, I go to one that I CAN have fun with.

      Because, as Dyer quotes Abe with, “Nothing is more important than that I feel good.” ๐Ÿ™‚

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