I Found My Line (LOA & Miscarriage)

September 4, 2014 | 44 Comments »

law of attraction and miscarriageI tend to roll my eyes whenever I hear a conscious creator draw the line on where law of attraction works.

Because it’s in effect everywhere.

There isn’t any part of life that operates outside the “like attracting like” system.

None. No exceptions.

But when I got a note today from a self-professed new student of LOA who wrote about how her vibration created her miscarriage, I suddenly discovered where I drew the line on LOA.

In fact, just yesterday I heard Abraham say, “You can take this LOA crap to a wrong level.”

That was in reference to when Esther didn’t speak up about her bad feeling at the sorting of luggage by cruise ship baggage handlers. (From the Aug 2012 Seattle workshop.)

The young mom writing me had found a peaceful place with her “baby who was born sleeping” (the sweetest term I’ve ever heard for an experience that can permanently take the wind out of anyone’s sails), but I know other conscious creators sometimes struggle to make sense of their role in manifesting something as unwanted as the death of an unborn child.

I am not the expert on this topic, but here’s what I do know …

any thought that doesn’t feel good isn’t true.

Abe tells us the fact that the thought doesn’t feel good means your inner being won’t join you in that thought. So you’re perceiving the situation in a way that Source doesn’t any time you think a thought that feels bad. Meaning, it’s bogus. You got it wrong.

(No worries, it happens to the best of us. Every day.)

Okay, so to me it does not feel fabulous to think that a mom’s vibration could cause her unborn baby to change his or her mind about being here.

Babies aren’t afraid of contrast. Some of them choose it on purpose to get a head start on all the fabulous things they’ll put in their vortex to manifest later in life.

Here’s the thought that does feel better to me when it comes to understanding miscarriage. (Which means it’s closer to the truth than any thought that feels bad.)

Actually, it’s worth noting that the thought that feels better to me may not work for you. So, this can be a very individual process. Feel free to customize your own better-feeling-thought.

Here’s the thought that feels better to me … (and this may very well be the strangest and worst analogy that ever came to mind, but I’m rolling with it):

You know how when you’re at a party and your friend is going to the john so he asks you to hold his drink for him?

Well, you’re a friend, so of course you’ll hold his beer for him. No big deal.

Did you create the holding of the beer? Well, you were a co-creator, sure. But it was his idea. He’s the one that has to pee or check his hair or whatever is calling him to the john. You are in this together, but he was really driving it.

You’re just the good friend who’s willing to hold two beers till he gets back.

That’s the extent of your role.

You did your buddy a solid.

That’s it.

It’s not your “fault” he needed to go. You’re just at the party together – and yes, you’ve got an extra hand to hold another beer.

These babies have their own intentions. They have their own reasons. They have drives and inspirations that you aren’t necessarily privy to.

You’re just along for this part of the ride.

This isn’t about you as much as it is about him and his journey. So I would ease up on trying to understand how you created a baby’s ‘undoing.’ You didn’t.

And did you notice there how the word ‘undoing’ doesn’t feel so fab? Another indicator we’re misperceiving the truth.

Because babies can’t be undone. In fact, all of us are eternal and everlasting. (That thought feels better to me than the prior one – which means I’m getting closer to truth.)

Some people find it easier to blame themselves than it is their unborn child, but in actuality there is no one to blame and there is nothing gone wrong.

That one can be a tricky thought to grasp at first, but remember – any thought that feels better is closer to the truth.

I suspect the “newbie” to LOA who wrote me this morning is already way ahead of me on this. Like I said, she sounded pretty peaceful. But I’m writing this for creators who haven’t found their way there yet.

Some may interpret this perspective as a bit anti-LOA, but I don’t think it really is when we understand what it is to be a co-creator.

And for the record, I am not saying that death is like taking a bathroom break at a party.

Although, hey … that may very well be the most accurate analogy that ever came to mind.

(Since death isn’t what most of us have been trained to think of it as.)

What I am saying is that these sweet souls have their own reasons for what unfolded. You were just the good friend willing to help out when the favor was asked.

Hold your head high. Not everyone is capable or willing to hold a buddy’s drink at the party.

Disclaimer: this can be a tender topic, and I don’t have any personal experience with it. So please take what I say with a thousand grains of salt, and find your own way to a truth that serves you. Which simply means – find the thought that feels better.

And God bless all the friendly beer holders at the party. You guys rock.

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44 Responses to “ I Found My Line (LOA & Miscarriage) ”

  1. Annie says:

    Um,he (the pee guy) is not real just a reflection of your thoughts, so you did create the need to pee, the beer, everything, there is only one of us here, a hologram if you will.. just my take
    so you created me and this response. Good job!

  2. When we get to that highest perspective, Annie, yes! No doubt!

    What would you say to the mom who is depressed to the point of giving up on life – even an LOA savvy mom – who’s having trouble understanding or making peace with a loss like this?

    PS – I just read today’s TUT note that goes right in line with what you shared:

    “If you look closely enough into the eyes of another, no matter who they are, you will always see me.” – The Universe

  3. Sometimes, you just gotta be pissed at the U.

    When you’re feeling depressed, that might be the thing that actually gets you out of it. (Spent a bit of time there myself.) It helps to rail at something when you are feeling powerless. It helps me to get to the point where I feel some sense of power. From there, I can access more “LOA-correct” thoughts.

    All thoughts are “LOA-correct”, but I couldn’t find a term to use that would represent what most people have come to accept as an “in the Vortex”, “high flying”, “aligned” thought. Really, all you need to do is find the thought that brings relief – for you. There is no right or wrong.

  4. Ginny says:

    I love this post, how it all fits together, you example and your so authentic reflection. xo

  5. That’s a really good and an important point, Nneka. That we can’t skip that part where we be present to the feelings, no matter what they are.

    Thanks for chiming in on this one. 🙂

  6. caroline says:

    I’m loving this one! I had a difficult birth with my baby and I wondered what I did wrong. Blame, blame, blame. Oh and guilt, guilt, guilt is always next in line. Then my baby came to me in my dreams and told me she was very scared to leave the world she had come to know and love. That’s all. I was just the vessel, it’s her journey and her creation not so much mine. My part ended when I agreed to carry her into the world, then she decided what to do next. She also decided to live, some don’t. It’s only us big people, a little more dis-connected from the all-that-is that make a big deal about it, you know…croaking.

  7. “Just the vessel; her journey, not yours” – what lovely messages you got from your sweet one, Caroline!

    Kudos for being able to release enough guilt and blame that you could hear from her. That heavy energy isn’t easy for a divine one to poke through, I don’t think. (Although could that be a limiting belief?)

    At any rate, thanks for reading and for sharing your experience, Caroline. Your perspective is much appreciated!

  8. Priya says:

    This is a really powerful topic, I love your point of view on this. We take on so much guilt and negativity – the responsibility, even, for the game that another beautiful soul wants to play.

  9. Thanks, Nicole!

    And Priya – “… the game that another beautiful soul wants to play” – could not have said it better.

    Thank you for that.

  10. sonia says:

    I misacarried once and what was even worse than losing the baby was reading some “wise-ass-guru” saying that a miscarriage was a baby deciding at the last minute that they didn’t want you as parents after all. I remember wondering for months how could ever that baby think for a second that he or she wouldn’t be loved enough. It broke my heart. I would have loved to read this post then. 🙂 Anyway, I made peace with the fact that it was my baby’s choice. I just talked to him/her saying how much I loved them even if they didn’t show up. Thank you Jeannette. Even after all all these years, it still means a lot.

  11. Well, that would be a reason I hesitate to talk about such a potentially sensitive subject, Sonia. As I said, I don’t really know what I’m talking about – but I’m glad there was some lighter relief energy in this approach than you received from the other guy.

    That’s got to be a sign we’re headed in the right direction of understanding.

    Big love, my friend!

  12. Paul says:

    We manifest 100% of everything in our reality.

    It’s not really an issue of “whose fault is it”, but rather an issue of accepting responsibility for everything in our lives.

    To answer your comment about what would you say to a mother who manifested a miscarriage, it isn’t about whether the baby manifested its own death, or whether the mother manifested it. That’s not even the question…

    … the question is why did YOU manifest a situation like this, where the concepts of the LoA are being tested in your reality. Meaning, it wasn’t the baby, it wasn’t the mother, it was YOU who created that entire situation, so that you can ask yourself some deeper questions, about your beliefs about the LoA, and to write this Blog post.

    But then, it’s not even about you doing that and writing this Blog post…because it was really ME who manifested the whole situation with the baby, mother, you, and now me being here.

    Essentially, we ALL co-create everything, together, but nobody can manifest something INTO our lives. Only we can do that. Others can influence our thinking, our energy and such, but they can’t control our vibration. We get to do that ourselves.

    The book “Zero Limits” explains this in great detail.

  13. Karen says:

    I love this part of your message:
    Because babies can’t be undone. In fact, all of us are eternal and everlasting. (That thought feels better to me than the prior one – which means I’m getting closer to truth.)

    I have never had a miscarriage (but often had good reasons to wish I’d been one). I have worked in women’s health and seen a lot of miscarriages and women’s different reactions to them.

    I think it is right on target that we cannot speak for anyone going through it, and we cannot tell anyone what to think or not think, feel or not feel. We do each have to find our own path out of the dark passages we find ourselves in as we travel this life. And that “one better feeling thought” at a time is a good start. Had to use it myself this morning when I was soooooooo frustrated with someone.

  14. Yeah, when we start to strip away the illusion of this reality and see everything as divine source energy – it’s sort of like “game over” for me. I get the truth of all that, but that’s not where I’m playing right now.

    Right now I’m pretending to be Jeannette Maw in a big party with a bunch of other co-creators on planet earth playing with our manifesting powers. I know it’s all a game and an illusion, but I like it here. I’ll be home soon enough – enjoying the hell out of this gig while I can.
    🙂

  15. So true, Karen, that it’s a journey we make on our own.

    I’m always grateful whenever someone is able to share a thought that might work for me, one maybe I wouldn’t have landed on my own when I’m in the middle of it.

    Here’s to each of us getting better and better at that process, no matter what we’ve got on our plates.

  16. Katie says:

    Jeannette- I think you are spot on. I have personal experience with this topic. I’ve always thought that my son chose me and my husband and have been very grateful for that. And the other babies came for as long as they needed to and then left when they needed. The fact that all of us were together for however long was for each one of our highest good and learning. Each lost child was a gift in it’s own way. I didn’t come to that conclusion quickly or easily, but it serves me now.

  17. Jennifer says:

    I am sorry for the loss that woman may feel and very happy that she seems at peace with it.

    I love the metaphor of death being like a bathroom break from the party – it’s perfect! Because…

    1. We never die, we just leave and come back
    2. Life is supposed to be playful and fun, just like a party (it is when we let it be)

  18. You’re exemplifying the ultimate experience of allowing, aren’t you, Katie? Not an easy one to come by in that situation, I imagine.

    Thanks for showing others a possibility for how to be with this.

    And Jennifer, it sounds like we think much alike. 🙂

  19. Beth says:

    I’d like to say Bravo to Jeannette for taking on such a sensitive subject and not shying away from the tough questions!

  20. Anonymous says:

    Wow. I think this is one of the more important posts I’ve seen in some time. “If it doesn’t feel good, it’s not true.” Thank you so much for that, Jeannette. There are some accepted “explanations” within the LOA community about why things do or do not happen that simply do not feel good to me at all. I used to think I was somehow missing something important, that these people seemed to have some higher understanding that was eluding me. Then I just accepted that, first, they may not be right (I love that old saying that bullshit spoken with authority is still bullshit), and, second, if I truly believe in LOA, then I must also believe that if it doesn’t feel good to me it can not be true for me. Until now, I’ve never had that belief validated.

    It bothers me that so many people (both within the LOA community & outside of it) seem unable to differentiate between “responsibility” and “blame”. Blame carries with it the added freight of guilt & (often) shame and is horribly disempowering. Accepting responsibility, on the other hand, is empowering & freeing. We seem to have built an entire culture obsessed with deflecting blame instead of accepting responsibility.

  21. Thank you, Beth.

    Anonymous, I agree about the important distinction between responsibility and blame. So true about the energetic difference between those two perspectives!

    I think our interpretation of events as “good” or “bad” helps contribute to that, but I know for many (myself included at times) that can be a tough one to shake.

    Melanie, my VA hasn’t been able to diagnose what’s up with the comments that post as “comment” – did you hear from her to try to track down what’s happening there? I’ll help by intending that it’s easily resolved.
    🙂

  22. Sam Curtis says:

    I can definitely relate to how that woman felt. I had a stillbirth 5 years ago and my thoughts during that pregnancy were extremely negative – fear of how to provide, how to put 2 kids through childcare etc etc, despite wanting that child with all of my heart. However, I know this is not the case for every Mom who loses a child in this way and Jeannette’s blog is one I shall read and re-read a few times because it may just aid to change my perspective on my ‘role’ in my situation. I am also at ease with it all. I sense the spirit of my daughter in everything and everywhere and she has brought me so many gifts. I didn’t know about the LOA at the time, and once I understood it, I felt ‘innocent’ of my fear based thoughts and feelings at that time. But now I read Jeannette’s post I am starting to see that my daughter (however small) had thoughts and feelings too and her own reasons. The co-creating thing has really struck a chime with me. I’ll have some thinking – rightful thinking, good thinking! – to do on this now…

  23. Sam Curtis says:

    I meant struck a chord!

  24. Sam, how delightful that you are able to still “sense” the spirit of your daughter and feel her presence! What an ongoing gift that is!

  25. Carolyn says:

    “… any thought that doesn’t feel good isn’t true” I love that Jeanette and absolutely agree with it.

    I also like what Paul has said, “nobody can manifest something INTO our lives”. That’s also true.

    I therefore choose to believe that if the idea that the baby did not want the mother or that the mother caused the baby’s “undoing” makes me feel BAD, then it must not be true. There may be more to this LOA than I understand but THAT i understand. Its all about feeling good/relief/better. That’s what its all about. So which thought feels better? The one closer to the truth and that Source also agrees with.

    Thanks Jeanette!

  26. That’s a good point to be making here, Carolyn – that nothing happens to us that we’re not in alignment with.

    That thought is an easy one for me to feel better about – so I don’t feel like a victim of a random accident or tragedy.

    There is an art to sifting through possibilities to find the better feeling thoughts, isn’t there?

  27. Alexandria says:

    Happily I haven’t experienced this either Jeannette, had 3 healthy births, but I love the way you handled it with so much compassion. I totally agree, and love both the bathroom as death analogy, and the ‘born sleeping’. Lovely

  28. Tesha says:

    December 2, 2011 will forever be scorched into my soul. It was the day I was told that my first son had passed away. I was about 25 weeks pregnant, this was supposed to have been just a routine check up. I’ve had many thoughts since then about why I couldn’t or wasn’t allowed to keep that child. My “2nd” son just turned 1 a few weeks ago. I love this kid with everything that I have but I am still so very unsettled about this whole thing. He should have an older brother, someone to play with and protect him, etc. Why was one child chosen to stay but not the other? What did I do or didn’t do? Why would a soul decide on a path that would cause such heart-numbing agony for so many people? I hope to speak with my son someday or the Source and receive answers. I feel so much love for my child and so much guilt too.

  29. linda says:

    Great post Jennette: You mention that all thoughts that don’t feel good are untrue, and that source doesn’t go there. And yet, we are advised to “feel our feelings” of grief, anger etc. I’ve never been clear on how to reconcile these two points. Would love to hear your take on this.

    thanks, Linda Ford

  30. Once again Jeannette, you show us how transparently open YOUR line is, when it comes to sharing with us all.

    As far as drawing the line on where the LOA works…while there may not be a “line” where it doesn’t, holding the belief that I, personally, may not know exactly all the different ways it is expressed, is a comforting one for me. Along with the belief that the LOA is most definitely NOT a stick to beat ourselves or others with. No one but the dreamer can interpret their dream. And soothing is often the first step, but an absolutely necessary one,to deeper understanding.

    Thank you again for always being willing to explore the LOA from ALL sides. Love that about you!

    Ease and flow,

    Julie Masters

  31. Sam Curtis says:

    Tesha, can I just say my heart completely goes out to you. I was 28 weeks pregnant when I found out my 2nd daughter, April, had died 5 years ago. I also have a 7 year old and a 3 year old and feel very blessed. Whilst one will always be missing, all I know is when my vibe is high – and I focus on getting it there as much as poss since discovering the LOA a few yrs ago! – I can literally sense April is around me. And that’s what keeps me going; that’s what enables me to hold back the unexpected tears during the school play (until I get back to the car), to get through Christmas dinner round the table without focusing on the empty chair, the candles being blown out at another 5 year old’s party… I know she is just having hers in ‘the next room’. Love and blessings xx

  32. Kati says:

    Every being has their own unique agenda and intentions and we can’t control anybody else, ever, except for ourselves. Especially little tiny babies, they are pure positive energy and they know exactly what they are doing. We don’t have to understand that or figure it out. We can’t get to the bottom of this, because there is no bottom!

    The only thing to do, is to use this as a stepping stone for a more connected life experience from here forward.. Can’t control conditions, but can control how we feel within the conditions, and that’s what conscious creating is all about. Sometimes “big” things like this happen to remind us that we are infinite and eternal beings and nobody is really ever going away anyway. Nothing ever goes wrong and we will never get it done. Period!

  33. Cassie says:

    I think you did a fabulous job navigating this tricky topic. I like the analogy.

  34. Deborah says:

    Good post Jeannette — you make several really good points on one of those challenging areas. (And I love the title.)

    To me the most helpful point (and of course the most basic yet profound) is that we can keep tuning into the thought that feels better.

    And sometimes saying it was my fault feels better and sometimes it doesn’t. And sometimes grieving feels better and sometimes it doesn’t.

    My first pregnancy ended in miscarriage over 17 years ago. Where I got stuck was at first was in not grieving fully. And then as I worked with it I realized that it felt better to think of the energy continuing in non physical. But it would have been spiritual bypass to get to that thought first. I needed to cry.

    It can get a bit complicated when we try be LOA-perfect and forget to follow our guidance. Thanks for a helpful article …..

  35. Janette says:

    No words for how perfect your writing is on this topic. Thank you

  36. Sara says:

    This is wonderful, than you for writing it. In situations like these, the better feeling thought for me tends to sound something like, “I can’t begin to understand this yet, and that’s okay.” I liked your analogy though

  37. Nancy says:

    When see adorable, sweet, helpless newborn babies, it is easy to forget they are being operated by a soul connected to Pure Positive Source…and in some cases, a Master Soul who has incarnated so many times that what appears to be a life cut short (to us) may actually be a profound gift of (contrasting) experience for the entire family.

    There’s so much at work here that we cannot understand in physical form…which is why you roll your eyes at me so often, Jeannette. :o)

  38. Patrice says:

    I’ve been through the miscarriage route myself… many decades ago. I am a firm believer in LOA BUT…. I think that not every single action/reaction is on the conscious level and somethings we experience just do not happen on a conscious level and we will not know the reason on a conscious level in this physical realm. I think that is where we trip ourselves up.. we are so determined to know the WHAT, WHEN, WHY, HOW of every single little thing that happens and in analyzing everything we distract ourselves from the beauty of flow. Why did I lose “my” baby I don’t know and never will know but what I have realized is there is no “my” in humans. We never can posses another soul and we certainly do not create them, we are just the vessel for the experience, how ever it turns out. I never felt bad or mourned this loss, not sure why, in my mind (and this was before I knew about LOA) but in my mind time and the soul wasn’t “mine”

  39. Andrea says:

    Interesting and I do think there’s something to it. That was funny when Abraham said “this LOA crap.” Whew.

  40. Janice says:

    From what I have learned from talking to Spirit , and yes I do, they talk about .. How we cannot intend everything we want consciously, Christopher Reeves intended many times.. almost every day.. and many times a day, that he would be healed. Jerry and Ester hicks say.. you can intend anything and make it happen.

    Spirit tells me not true..

    Did Christopher Reeves get healed. No… he could have prayed continuously and would not have been heeled.. because… Spirit tells me .. “Karma overrides intention”.

    Some say he didn’t pray enough, or the right way, Not true.. He did everything right.. and still passed away. They (Spirit) says .. no soul can come or go from the body without the universes permission. It was Karmic that Christopher Reeves had his accident… and Karmic that he passed away. It was his souls plan. We are held to the plan. Anything that you ask for that is not in your should plan. The universe won’t assist you get. 20 people might ask spirit to help them become President. They can pray for it, meditate for it, try to push their will for it .. only one will get it. because.. its a karmic position. same concept for souls coming to earth..its karmic. My mother tried to terminate her pregnancy with me… I’m here. My brother tried to take his life six times… didn’t happen.. karmic.

    A simple way they taught me… When the universe has the ball … things happen to you. When you have the ball… you make things happen.

    Its an odd dance, but karma always wins. often by magic, because the world is run my magic.

    Magically crappy things happen.. and magically fabulous things happen.

    Spirit tells me that humans are so silly that they think they control so much.

    Trust me .. you get from paint A to point B by the grace of God. even if your a fabulous driver.. are you in charge of whether someone runs a red light when your driving through a green light. Your in charge of the little things… what outfit to wear to an interview, how confident you answer interview questions, but are you in charge of being picked for the position.. no Spirit says… you only have control to pick from the choices around you.

    Sooo in the example of miscarriages. It’s karmic ! If a soul who’s watching you and the body your creating.. thinking it will slide in and take the body .. sees something does not match with their Karmic agenda… It will pass on the body. If its agenda is to be healthy and the body that formed has a deficiency… it will pass. The soul will take a pass if it does not match the souls karmic agenda. Spirit told me .. that the soul that slides into a handicapped body or Mongoloid body and stays.. it matches their agenda.

    A still born baby is a body that the soul did not slide in to stay because it did not match the agenda. Sometimes the soul slide in and a few month later slides back out because it decided the circumstances didn’t match the agenda. (many times waiting around to watch for the next body made till one matches agenda.

    Often Dr. tell a woman she can’t have a baby. Boom… they are pregnant.. karma wins! Often Dr. says someone will die.. boom.. cancer cured.

    Sorry … this was a long story. but to know the rules of the game of earth… is to know how to maximize the game. So you can play the game.. not the game play you. To know what your souls Karmic plan is.. is then to maximize the game. Thats called .. Mastering the game of earth Spiritually

  41. Judiesjuice says:

    Janice, thank you for bringing karma into the conversation. I have been reading, studying, practicing LOA and the power of our thoughts since I was a child. In my yoga teacher training, we discussed karma. I’ve had many conversations over the years with spiritual teachers who agree that our thoughts have a lot of power but we also need to keep in mind karma. I would love to have a more in depth discussion about karma and LOA. LOA (to me) makes it seem that we are in control of what happens to us but is that really true? Could this woman’s thoughts have manifested the loss of her baby? Can our thoughts cause the death of others? Can a child’s thoughts lead them to disease and illness? Or is it karma? Is it one or the other? Both?

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