Invite Your Problems to Stay

December 29, 2012 | 32 Comments »

Super excited about this guest post from Nancy Barry-Jansson!  I asked her for it after she mentioned this on a GVU call, and am thrilled you can also hear it Nancy’s own words by clicking the audio button below.  Enjoy!

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Invite Your Problems In

If you’ve been reading Jeannette’s blog for a while, you’ve read about the importance of letting go of resistance. Now, you may get the idea and logically understand the reasons, but still find yourself surrounded by persistent contrast.

Think about the recurring issues and “problems” in your life. If you are like most people, it won’t take you that long. You’ll know the answer immediately!

So, the important question to ask is, how does your body feel when you think about these topics, even the ones that you think you have been addressing?

Is it possible you are more in resistance than you realize?

Recently I watched one of Spiritual Catalyst and Spiritual Teacher Teal Scott‘s videos where she discussed this very topic. First she answered a question related to achieving wellness when someone is not experiencing that, but her response could easily apply to anything we want that we are not currently experiencing. So, in this example, just substitute your issue for the term disease.

Teal Scott said:

“Every disease is a teacher. So, one of the best things you can do if you are sitting in a diseased state, is to give it permission to be there for as long as it wants to be there.”

she also said…
“You can’t be at war with any aspect of What Is, and be winning. You can’t be at war with any aspect of What Is, and be benefiting in any way.”

That’s pretty profound, but it makes sense since every subject vibrationally contains the problem, the solution, and everything in-between. By labeling a current life situation as a “problem”, or feeling negatively toward it, we are automatically standing vibrationally opposite of any solution(s). As long as you feel sad, mad, frustrated, or irritated with a situation, that emotion is your indicator that you are vibrationally too far away from the solutions to *even be aware* of them!

To see a solution, we must release the resistance to the problem and line ourselves up vibrationally with the possibility of solution(s). Yeah, I know. Easier said than done when you are being reminded every second of your illness, or have no clue how you will pay your bills, or keep having that *same argument* yet again with your beloved.

So, how can you begin to line up and let go of resistance to your “problems”?

Teal suggests we stop labeling our experiences as problems, and instead see them as our friend and teacher who has an important message for us.

So, that might look like:

1. Acknowledging the “problem.” Formally acknowledge and welcome it into your life, since it’s been there anyway. By shining a light on it, it can no longer lurk and wreck havoc in the background. Invite it in to be your guest for as long as it needs to be there and get comfy. Pull up a chair or poof up a pillow on the couch.

2. Start a loving dialogue. Grab a journal if that feels right to you, and start by admitting how you have felt about it in the past. Let it know that you are willing to see it now as your best friend and teacher. Ask it what it is here to teach you, and let it know you appreciate any insights it would like to share with you throughout the day.

3. Check in with it often. For the rest of that day and week, consciously notice what related thoughts pop up that feel good (which means you’re on the right track to get the lesson) or which ones don’t feel good (which means you are resisting it). Raising your awareness on this subject and being open for the lessons will benefit you tremendously.

4. Express appreciation. Every time you consciously notice a related thought popping up, regardless of how it feels, say Thank You to your new friend/teacher and really feel that appreciation. Feel good about becoming more conscious and appreciating the lessons … even if you are not sure you fully get them, yet.

5. Trust the process. Know that when you have learned what this experience came to teach you, it will leave on it’s own. In the meantime, get comfortable and relax.

But, wait, Nancy…by welcoming the problem and appreciating it, aren’t we focusing on it and fueling it with our attention?

That’s a great question.

Actually, with our conscious attention and positive energy, we are fueling it to move along. What we push against and resist, is what persists. As Jeannette has shared before, our joys often seem fleeting because we don’t resist them, and so like any emotion that is not resisted, they seem to quickly move on. When we make our “problems” our friend, instead of an enemy, we open the door to the alchemical powers of love and compassion to transmute the energy as we reap the benefit of the lessons.

On this journey, your souvenirs will be the lessons you learned, a new appreciation for the teacher, and feeling empowered to welcome in new friends/teachers the rest of your life.

What are your thoughts about this approach? Are you willing to invite your “problems” to stay?

…………………………….

Nancy Barry-Jansson is a long-standing Good Vibe University faculty member and the creator of AffirmingSpirit™ Blank Affirmation Cards and the Six Steps to Powerful Affirmations free eCourse, both of which can be found online at AffirmingSpirit.com.

…………………………….

* * * * * * * *
Jeannette Maw is the LOA party host at Good Vibe U and co-founder of Good Vibe Astrology. Subscribe to her Good Vibe newsletter here. Connect on Google+.

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32 Responses to “ Invite Your Problems to Stay ”

  1. MissyB on December 29, 2012 at 12:03 pm

    Oooh….love, love, love !
    I have a but though…I can’t get my head around this bit…
    Every disease is a teacher. So, one of the best things you can do if you are sitting in a diseased state, is to give it permission to be there for as long as it wants to be there.

    and then this bit…
    As long as you feel sad, mad, frustrated, or irritated with a situation, that emotion is your indicator that you are vibrationally too far away from the solutions to *even be aware* of them!

    So I give myself permission to be sad for as long as I need…I like this idea. But then it says if I am sad I’m too far removed from any light of the end of the tunnel. This doesn’t resonate with me for I can only see contradiction. Help !

  2. AffirmingSpirit on December 29, 2012 at 12:11 pm

    Hi, MissyB! Good to see your smiling face again :D

    Kudos to you for honoring how you feel and what feels right to you!

    There’s no getting around to it: When we are feeling those negative emotions, we are in a resistant place. I agree that many of us need to fully feel that negative place for a while before we move forward. If you are one of those people, honor that, but be careful not to *park there forever* and remain stuck. It might help to say, “I feel this way right now, and I honor that feeling. I intend to move past this emotion once I feel ready.”

    While in resistance, we are too far away from solutions to “see” them. You can make peace with that by intending to move past the negative emotion as noted above.

    When you are ready to move forward, THEN you will see solutions begin to pop up.

    Does that help?

    The KEY point of this post, and why Jeannette wanted me to share it, is the idea of inviting the problem to stay, getting friendly with it, and welcoming the lessons it has to offer.

    Many blessings,
    Nancy

  3. Good Vibe Coach on December 29, 2012 at 12:27 pm

    Love this post, Nancy! Thank you so much for writing it!!

    I thought of you and what you’d written here when I read this on the wall at a cafe today:

    “Don’t run from your monsters because I hear they can heal you.” Jayson Haws

  4. Jillian on December 29, 2012 at 12:28 pm

    V. helpful. Got me thinking about how we always hear about people “losing his/her battle with…” caner, drug addiction, etc etc.. Whenever we position our problems as enemies, they conquer us. As Bashar says, whatever we experience is a mirror reflection of our conscious state. In order to alter the image in the mirror we don’t change the mirror or the image on it, but rather change that which it is a reflection of: ourself!

  5. AffirmingSpirit on December 29, 2012 at 12:30 pm

    EXACTLY, Jillian – by inviting the problem to stay and recognizing it as a friend/teacher, we are doing the inner work on our own consciousness.

    Don’t be surprised if you find yourself feeling real love and appreciation for your “problems”. :D

    Many blessings,
    Nancy

  6. Jillian on December 29, 2012 at 12:34 pm

    That analogy really hit home for me. You don’t put lipstick on the mirror (image). You put it on yourself, your lips, in order to see it on the external version: the one staring back at us from the mirror. In order to “touch up” our problems, we have to do it on the inside….by changing how we view them. Only then will the outer manifestation be madeover, so to speak, lol.

  7. Good Vibe Coach on December 29, 2012 at 12:40 pm

    Very well said, Jillian.

    I thought I was pretty good at spotting resistance, but looking at it this way (can I welcome it at the door and invite it to stay as long as it wants?) was an eye opener for me.

  8. Jillian on December 29, 2012 at 12:42 pm

    Also, we tend to continually attract the same “problems” (solve one, and manifest another in no time! Ad infinitum…) until we embrace them enough to learn the lesson they are there to teach us. That is their purpose. Once we learn what they are designed to teach us, they automatically gravitate right out of our lives…for good (literally)!.

  9. MissyB on December 29, 2012 at 12:42 pm

    Like Jillian’s thoughts too.
    Thanks for the explanation Nancy…it’s one of those double edged sword thingys…you invite the problem to stay so you get to feel sad or whatever…but the bonus to that is, you can learn your lesson and feel those feelings and thus get over it quicker.

  10. Good Vibe Coach on December 29, 2012 at 12:52 pm

    Another good point, Jillian. And another good reason to welcome our “problems” to stay.

    And MissyB, I think when we start to see our “problems” differently, the way we feel about them changes, too. So it’s not as heavy or sad as it may have been before.
    :)

  11. AffirmingSpirit on December 29, 2012 at 12:53 pm

    I agree, Jillian, that sustainable change only happens when we address our own consciousness. If you haven’t already done so, you’ll want to watch the video I linked to above (the paragraph where I refer to Teal Scott). If you like Abraham or Bashar, you’ll love Teal, who never lost her memory/connection with Source.

    Happy to hear that this discussion has helped, MissyB.

    Many blessings,
    Nancy

  12. Sara on December 29, 2012 at 2:35 pm

    Yay!!! Love this post and the mention of what Teal said in response to someone experiencing disease. I just watched that this week.

    I find this oddly freeing, because if you think about it, allowing problems to stay there immediately allows you to be off the hook for solving them! How amazing! It’s like actively saying, “Ok, cool, I’m just going to enjoy life with or without the problem.”

    This is one of those things that is best understood with experience as all things are. I know I didn’t understand this, until I found myself naturally moving into the living experience of it. To anyone who is afraid to engage in this kind of practice, the worst that can happen is that things stay the way they are and that you feel the same as you feel right now. Either way, where you are does not mean anything about who you are or the worth or value you embody. (It took my a while to begin feeling that myself.)

    Beautiful post Jeannette and Nancy!

  13. AffirmingSpirit on December 29, 2012 at 4:22 pm

    To anyone who is afraid to engage in this kind of practice, the worst that can happen is that things stay the way they are and that you feel the same as you feel right now. Either way, where you are does not mean anything about who you are or the worth or value you embody. (It took my a while to begin feeling that myself.)

    That’s a really important point, Sara – thank you for sharing that!

    Many blessings,
    Nancy

  14. Good Vibe Coach on December 29, 2012 at 7:12 pm

    You’re right, Sara – it IS oddly freeing. We’re immediately off the hook for changing them when we accept them just as they are. I like that!!

  15. mango on December 29, 2012 at 7:13 pm

    The House Guest by Rumi

    This being human is a guest house.
    Every morning a new arrival.

    A joy, a depression, a meanness,
    some momentary awareness comes
    as an unexpected visitor.

    Welcome and entertain them all!
    Even if they’re a crowd of sorrows,
    who violently sweep your house
    empty of its furniture,
    still, treat each guest honorably.
    He may be clearing you out
    for some new delight.

    The dark thought, the shame, the malice,
    meet them at the door laughing,
    and invite them in.

    Be grateful for whoever comes,
    because each has been sent
    as a guide from beyond.

  16. Good Vibe Coach on December 29, 2012 at 7:44 pm

    That is a beautiful addition to perfectly complement the theme of this post, Mango. Thank you!!

  17. AffirmingSpirit on December 29, 2012 at 8:37 pm

    Mango, I don’t know if it was intentional, but by re-titling Rumi’s poem The House Guest instead of its original title The Guest House, I read the poem in a much different way…seeing the “problems” as guests! LOL!

    Love this poem and appreciating your *twist* on it!

    Many blessings,
    Nancy

  18. Fine-tuning Inspiration — AffirmingSpirit on December 29, 2012 at 11:06 pm

    [...] the post for those who do better listening than reading. Go read and/or listen to the blog post Invite Your Problems to Stay and leave a [...]

  19. Julie Bernstein Engelmann on December 29, 2012 at 11:50 pm

    Wow, this just sent me into a spin of realization about what I was resisting, what that has meant to me (detrimentally), and delving into actually feeling what it feels like to be in complete permission on all of these different little and big former resistances. I’m just elevated to some other plane with my new-found opening up of boundaries and the love and acceptance that can now breathe through. Thanks, Nancy! Plus I went to Teal Scott’s site and enjoyed so many more nuggets of wisdom in her videos.

  20. AffirmingSpirit on December 29, 2012 at 11:58 pm

    Wonderful, Julie! I also hope you and Chip enjoy getting to know Teal Scott as a new Abe-friendly resource. :D

    Although Teal is relatively recently new to Abraham, she teaches virtually the SAME with her own twist. Despite her young age, Teal comes to this wisdom not by books (like the rest of us) but because she came into this life *remembering* where she came from and never lost that despite difficult life experiences.

    Thank you for stopping by and sharing your breakthrough experience. I know I am finding myself feeling *deep love and appreciation* for my current and past “problems” aka friends/teachers! :D

    Many blessings,
    Nancy

  21. Anonymous on December 30, 2012 at 7:45 am

    Thank you so much for this.

  22. Julie B on December 30, 2012 at 11:55 am

    WOW.. great post Nancy!!! Thank you so much for sharing these words and your gift.

    HAPPY NEW YEAR!!
    Julie

  23. Berta on December 30, 2012 at 7:09 pm

    Sara, what you said is perfect: “To anyone who is afraid to engage in this kind of practice, the worst that can happen is that things stay the way they are and that you feel the same as you feel right now. Either way, where you are does not mean anything about who you are or the worth or value you embody. (It took my a while to begin feeling that myself.)”

    Nancy, your post is the perfect follow-up for me from our discussion a little over a week ago. I get it, and more importantly, I’m applying the welcome sooner and sooner. Your post’s summary is amazing,” . . . our joys often seem fleeting because we don’t resist them, and so like any emotion that is not resisted, they seem to quickly move on. When we make our “problems” our friend, instead of an enemy, we open the door to the alchemical powers of love and compassion to transmute the energy as we reap the benefit of the lessons.”

    Cheers to our lessons!

  24. AffirmingSpirit on December 31, 2012 at 12:00 am

    Happy New Year, JulieB!

    Berta, so glad this resonated for you and that you are beginning to apply this to your life.

    Thank you all for your comments!

    Many blessings,
    Nancy

  25. Pat on January 1, 2013 at 8:55 am

    wow everyone! It’s really making me rethink things – I have been so frustrated lately by persistent “problems” and I know that means I haven’t gotten the lesson and I know that there is resistance there – so I really like this approach. I especially liked Sara’s advice…

    ““To anyone who is afraid to engage in this kind of practice, the worst that can happen is that things stay the way they are and that you feel the same as you feel right now. Either way, where you are does not mean anything about who you are or the worth or value you embody. (It took my a while to begin feeling that myself.)”

    That piece about “worth” is very key for me, I think it’s part of what creates the resistance – my perceived “problems” are tied in with my sense of self worth and maybe that is what it is here to teach me about??

    Thanks also for the introduction to Teal, I haven’t watched any videos yet but maybe that’s how I will start out my new year, with a new way of thinking, looking at and perceiving things..from the inside out of course.

    Much love and many blessings
    Pat

  26. AffirmingSpirit on January 2, 2013 at 12:41 am

    Thank you for reading and commenting, Pat! :-)

    That piece about “worth” is very key for me, I think it’s part of what creates the resistance – my perceived “problems” are tied in with my sense of self worth and maybe that is what it is here to teach me about??

    Pat, if that is what comes to mind for you, it is likely at least one of your lessons. Invite it in, get to know it, appreciate it and see if anything deeper shows up.

    Happy to hear that Sara’s suggestion resonated for you and that this post introduced you to Teal Scott, as well!

    Many blessings,
    Nancy

  27. mango on January 3, 2013 at 5:11 am

    Happy New Year everyone!

    Nancy, my re-titling was a complete accident. LOL! Since we’re a “guest house” I always read it as though the feelings, all of them, were house guests to be welcomed and greeted. Glad you liked the re-reading of the poem! This poem to me encapsulates allowing to me.

  28. AffirmingSpirit on January 4, 2013 at 3:37 pm

    Love it, Mango! In art school, anytime a creative problem could be turned into a positive it was called a “happy accident”. Sounds like what might have happened here…

    Although, there’s no such thing as accidents or coincidences, right? ;-) Any reason to include Rumi in a conversation is a good one in my humble opinion!

    Many blessings,
    Nancy

  29. Relationship Advice on January 4, 2013 at 7:09 pm

    Wow. What a GREAT article title and a fantastic article. It is so hard not to think of problems as negative and to understand that they are learning tools. Sometimes I find myself reading horrible news pieces and I just smile, thinking “This is life.” In in the pain, the horror, the suffering, there is still beauty. I can’t understand the feeling, but it puts my anxiety at ease. It’s a surrender, I guess. We all need to surrender to the uncertainty and the darkness. Light pours in that way. God Bless.

  30. AffirmingSpirit on January 6, 2013 at 1:27 am

    Wonderful that you enjoyed the article, Kristina! Thank you for leaving your comment. Would love to see you give this a try and come back to let us know what you experienced.

    I can say I find myself thinking about my personal “teachers” with deep appreciation! :-) (BIG vibe shift)

    Many blessings,
    Nancy

  31. Parul on January 23, 2013 at 11:03 am

    Brilliant post, Nancy! Something I needed to hear today. :)

  32. AffirmingSpirit on February 7, 2013 at 2:26 pm

    So glad you enjoyed the post and found it helpful, Parul! ;-)

    Any AHAs you’d like to share?

    Many blessings,
    Nancy

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