Is Your ‘What’ a Hidden ‘How’?
Our job is to focus on What we want, and let Universe figure out How.
That’s LOA 101, but many of us find we’re correcting for that on a regular basis. (Or is it just me?)
Anyway, it occurred to me that sometimes our goals, dreams and desires are actually just ‘Hows’ in disguise.
The other day I heard Kathleen Miller share an instruction inspired by Neville:
Meaning, our power lies in visualizing (and ‘becoming’) the end result that we desire. We don’t have to baby step our way in manifestations to what we want. Rather, we can go for the gold and focus on the true desired outcome.
This is why every time I hear someone manifesting a book deal with Hay House or an appearance on Oprah (back when that was a thing) or winning the stupid lottery I get a little fired up.
Because that’s not what we really want.
All of those things are just ‘Hows’!
What we want is what we think that outcome means or leads to. And that’s the textbook definition of a How!
Example: no one really wants to lose 10 pounds – that’s likely the ‘how’ we made up for feeling healthier or sexier. Because trust me, it’s possible to lose ten pounds and feel less healthy and less attractive. (Like if you got sick or were in prison or were super stressed out?)
No one really wants a promotion at work – we likely want more recognition, challenge, prestige or power. In fact, we probably don’t really want the power – what we really want is to make a difference and feel good about our contribution to the world. I’m making that up, but my point is …
If there’s a way you could get what you thought you wanted and still feel ripped off – then it’s not a true desire.
In the ten years I’ve been coaching people to get what they want I’ve seen plenty of “got what I wanted but it isn’t what I really wanted” scenarios.
Like for myself – back when I thought I wanted a thousand daily hits to this blog. That target was actually part of my business plan! And the day that I realized it had happened, I couldn’t understand why I wasn’t more excited about it.
It took a minute to realize it was because I didn’t really want a bunch of traffic. What I wanted was to feel like my work was making a difference – that I was having a positive impact on the world. And a thousand daily hits is not that.
Or when I intended to be debt free. (Who wouldn’t want that, right?) Well, it turns out that wasn’t what I really wanted. On the day I made the final mortgage payment on my house over a decade ago I thought I’d feel liberated. Instead, I felt the same miserable way I’d been feeling for those five years I worked a job I didn’t love just to pay the bills.
Okay, I might be on an official rant now, and that’s not my favorite thing.
What is my favorite thing is helping us all be more clear about exercising our creative powers.
Let’s keep the Neville-inspired instruction in mind not to manifest the middle, and instead drill down to the true essence of our desire.
I have a somewhat twisted way of doing this with clients. When they tell me what they want, I start imagining scenarios in which they get what they said they wanted, but didn’t enjoy it. Just to help them get more dialed in on the core desire, i.e. their true ‘What.’
Like if he proposed (ah! her dream come true, she thinks!) but she found out later that he had another woman on the side the whole time. You wouldn’t really be delighted to be engaged to that guy. What you want is to be happy and in love! Let’s focus on that.
Or if you get the new career you always wanted, but it sucks the life out of you and threatens your health or relationships – that’s not what you had in mind. I want to help you see the deeper desire and connect with that, so you’re giving a powerful instruction of What and letting Universe deliver the best How.
I’ve seen people get the Oprah spotlight and it didn’t result in fame or fortune or accolades of any kind. I’ve seen people get book deals that didn’t change their lives in any appreciable way. I’ve seen people come into big money and still feel the same financial fears they’d been practicing their whole lives.
That’s not to say that Universe wouldn’t use those same avenues to deliver your goods, but that’s for Universe to figure out. Not you. Get your nose out of Universe’s business.
Don’t manifest the middle. As Abraham says, what we really want is always to feel better. That’s why their advice to “get happy now” is probably the best we’ll ever take to heart.