Manage Your Expectations
Meaning, usually, to lower them.
It’s a common tip intended to help us be realistic and avoid disappointment, by not getting our hopes up.
It might be well meaning, but it’s completely unhelpful once we understand that our expectations manifest. Over and over again.
That’s what our entire life is – getting what we expect. Whatever that is.
Which is why the best way to manage our expectations is to raise them …
To learn how to believe in what we want.
Because our desires can’t manifest until we learn how to believe in them.
And that’s what an expectation is – a sign of what we believe.
When my credit card was declined at the store the other day, I knew immediately it was a glitch in their system. Because the money’s there. My account is in good standing, and even if it weren’t, my credit is stellar.
But after checking the expiration, the clerk handed my card back assuming I must have exceeded my limit. She felt sorry for how awkward this must be for me.
I didn’t feel awkward, though. Because I knew my card was good.
I told her to try it again. She did, and it was rejected again. So were my next two cards.
And not for a single second did I expect that there was a problem with my money. I knew this was her computer acting up, not my money.
(Which was proven when I invited the next customer to try their card – and it was rejected for a return. That’s when she realized it was her system, not me.)
That’s a pretty strong expectation, to be able to hold it even in the face of contrary evidence. Even when others don’t believe it with you. But I’ve worked on my money expectations, so these are solid.
Different story for me when it comes to lottery tickets. I don’t actually expect those things to pay off. (It’d be nice! I’d be very happy about it! But I don’t actually truly expect it. Not the way I expect my bank account to be in good standing.)
This girl, on the other hand, expected to win the lottery. And win she did.
I do expect men to treat me well. I also expect my business to thrive. And I expect my clients to succeed.
I’m learning how to expect to find a dream house that is everything I want it to be.
I’m learning how to expect my old dogs to thrive. And my own body to improve with age.
I’m learning how to expect better support in all areas of my life.
It’s a practice – learning to believe in the things we want.
And it’s a practice worth engaging. Which just means repeating the thoughts and images you prefer; and dwelling on reasons to believe in what you want. That’s how to develop a new expectation.
(It’s the same process we use to create negative expectations, only this time in our favor!)
So the next time someone suggests you manage your expectations, I say, by all means, yes, do that! By ratcheting them up and learning to believe in what you want.
Because all our dreams are out there just waiting for us to say yes to them. 🙂