My Boyfriend’s Brush with Cancer

July 10, 2009 | 66 Comments »

soldiersNo, Russ doesn’t have cancer.

Yet.

But if he’s not careful, we’re going to give it to him.

“We” being:

  • me
  • his sister
  • his niece
  • his son and daughter-in-law
  • his boss and his boss’ wife

.. and everyone else in the world who knows his ridiculous lifestyle and eating habits will lead to cancer if he doesn’t change his ways.

Have I mentioned I was almost a nutritionist in a prior life?  In my earlier years I paid super close attention to “healthy” eating habits, and not only practiced them myself but intently imposed them on everyone I cared about.

Almost cost me a super hot boyfriend one year.  That’s when I realized how obnoxious I was, when handsome pilot Don told me I was going to have to learn to let him eat cheese pizza in peace.

Much later on, with my developing law of attraction understanding, I came to realize that food and sun and chemicals don’t give us cancer – rather, our thoughts about them do.

But that didn’t stop me from declaring a boycott against Russ’ homemade chocolate chip cookies once I realized he wasn’t using real butter to make them.

He insists on using some ridiculous butter substitute that’s supposed to be easier to cook with that has partially hygrogenated soybean oil.  OMG!

See how I am?

I claim to know that it isn’t the FOOD that affects us adversely or optimally, it’s our THOUGHTS about the food.  And yet, I apparently haven’t given up my prejudice against all things hydrogenated.

And so the battle continues.

A couple of times now I’ve coached Russ to ignore me when I tell him how bad his daily Mountain Dew habit is, especially for a guy with sleep issues; and that his addiction to bread and pasta is wreaking havoc with his borderline diabetes (not to mention his colon that is probably screaming for fiber – and no, he won’t eat whole wheat, let alone veggies – trust me, I’ve tried), and how maybe a guy who lives his life on the golf course ought to consider sun screen, …

… yada yada yada.

It gets even worse with a couple of other “health-savvy” people in the conversation.  We lovingly gang up on him in an effort to change his “dangerous” ways.

I actually announced at our fourth of July barbecue table that I would not care for him when he got whatever type of cancer he was going to get, since he should have known better.

I said that even while knowing that if Russ got cancer, it would be most likely from living with a woman who kept insisting on it.

The truth is this isn’t really Russ’ battle – he doesn’t seem to be phased by any of it.  Thank God.

The battle is really mine: the fight between my LOA understanding and years of programming that say the world is a dangerous place.

So what’s a smart girl’s solution?

Well, I’ve already tried to protect Russ by telling him to ignore me; but I think he’s so good at that that he’s not even hearing that advice.

After that I just have to make some sort of peace, right?

I’ve either got to make peace with hydrogenation and preservatives and transfats or I need to make peace with my diet that excludes them, and make peace with Russ’ lifestyle that includes them.

Or get a healthier boyfriend.

Maybe ignorance might be helpful here …

… I purposely didn’t look at ingredients of Just Dessert’s brownie cakes from Costco that I thought I deserved since I was giving up homemade chocolate chip cookies.  (Made with Gold’n Soft.  Seriously!!  Does he have a death wish or WHAT?!)

Ugh!  There I go again!

This sounds like a great time for an intention.

“It is my formal intention to make peace with my food, and to make peace with your food, too.”

Amen.

* * * * * * * *
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66 Responses to “ My Boyfriend’s Brush with Cancer ”

  1. elizabeth says:

    I need the same intention. I don’t know why, but the eating thing is the hardest to let go. (I would love to be a nutritionist.) I’m always trying to tell my little sister the bads of HFCS and hydrogenated oils and the goods of fiber and protein. However, I do love Reeses eggs and Oreos, no matter what is in them! I have made peace with my food – probably because my diet is good overall so the little blips don’t register – but others’ diets are a different story ..

    btw – maybe you could make a batch of cookies with super-soft (left out on the counter) butter?! I don’t see how anyone could use anything else after eating cookies with real butter. Boggles the mind. 🙂

  2. Gosh, I’m glad I’m not alone, Elizabeth! lol

    I love your approach that Oreos are just little blips because the rest is so good. I’m working that one in to my perspective pronto.

    I don’t cook, and he does, so I figure I don’t get to tell him how to do it – but he did once upon a time placate me with a batch of real butter cookies – and he claims they sucked. They were delicious! He’s such a stubborn stinker.

    But he’s the cook. So he gets to do what he wants.

    And I get to do what I want.

    I guess I should just be glad I’m still allowing cookies in my diet. Because I was hard core enough at one point that I wasn’t eating ANY sugar.

    Anyway, glad to have good company in this one, Elizabeth! Thanks for posting!

  3. Terry DeMeo says:

    Whoo, boy, thanks for your honesty, Jeanette! The urge to give unsolicited advice on our food religions runs strong and deep, doesn’t it? Now I get to watch my kids “feel guilty” over the things they eat after a lifetime of me saying “Don’t eat sugar. Want a cookie?”

    And since I’ve quieted down with my unsolicited advice, my friends are advising me to quit dairy, eat raw, eat protein, etc., etc. Turn about’s fair play I guess.

    Now I’m going to figure out how it’s all perfect.

  4. That’s a great plan, Terry: seeing how it’s all perfect.

    Tremendous peace in seeing the perfection of it!

    Thanks for the laugh I got from reading your words here!

  5. Lorna says:

    Yeah, good luck with making peace with crappy, I mean less-than-healthy-foods; as a former happy raw foodist who fell off the wagon on Thanksgiving 2007–co- incidentally the week the divorce was official–and wants to get back on, I have food fights (mental) with myself and my poor children daily. Although these days it’s more along the lines of, “We really should eat more greens” (yeah, like once a week at least)…I give up.

    At least Russ has a positive attitude which may keep him out of the cancer ward after all! You never know.

  6. Good point, Lorna! His attitude IS positive (unlike that mean intolerant pilot years ago – hee hee) and that’s what keeps my guy in the clear.

    I should really follow his example. In attitude, if not in diet!

    Thanks for joining the conversation, Lorna!

  7. You know, Susan, one of the things I really liked about Russ (in the beginning – ha!) was his complete freedom around food!

    I started eating stuff with him that I wouldn’t even feed to my DOGS!!

    And the freedom – man, I kinda liked it.

    But then, I was thinking this is CRAP. You can’t eat THIS! (Mac & Cheese, Chips Ahoy, white bread.) Your body is a TEMPLE. Treat it as such!

    Which would be fine if I wasn’t imposing my view on him, and just really letting this be my own gig to figure out.

    Anyway – thanks for giving your two cents, Susan. Always a pleasure to hear from you!

  8. Stephen Taylor says:

    I have to laugh because the two Google ads right above the comment field are “Dangers of transfats” and “New Prostate Surgery.”

    The great food debate goes on here periodically. Jackie leans more toward your view and I am probably more like Russ (though not to the extreme you describe).

    I think my habits in this area would make you crazy. I eat what tastes good. I believe most everything is improved by adding bacon. I consume a pot of coffee most every morning. And (get ready for it) I have been known to SMOKE (tobacco and other combustibles).

    Will these lifestyle habits kill me? Could be, but SOMETHING is going to kill me eventually. I’ve never really cared how long I stay on this playground, so long as I enjoy myself while I’m here.

    If “making peace with your food” makes you feel good, knock yourself out. I don’t need to make peace with food, I just eat it.

  9. PS – no, google does that on their own! I forget those things are even there! (Good eyes!)

    Stephen – I was SO on board with you when you said this: “I eat what tastes good. ”

    And you TOTALLY lost me as soon as you said BACON and COFFEE!!! (I literally covered my mouth with both hands!!) lol

    Man, I’m programmed!!

    Oh my God, I just read the next part about SMOKING!!!!!

    Stephen, are you trying to give me a heart attack?! ROFL

    All right, I will say I’ve had practice in making peace with loved ones who smoke, too, because my ex-boyfriend smokes and he gave it up for a year and a half (thinking there would be some sort of sexual payoff involved). When there wasn’t (any sexual payoff involved), he started smoking again because, as he said, he simply likes to smoke.

    He claims he isn’t addicted, which he (says he) proved by easily quitting – he didn’t struggle with it at all. And he happily picked it back up. Because he likes life better with a cigarette in hand.

    I got over it.

    Hey, we each get to pick for ourselves, right?

    (Plus he never smokes around me, so that’s much easier for me to accept it.)

    “Bacon and coffee” … omg.

  10. Stephen Taylor says:

    We had a friend visiting us from Austin not long ago. She commented that both Jackie and I had lost weight since moving to Santa Fe. Jackie immediately started speculating about the physical causes of the weight loss; we were walking more, the change in altitude, eating differently, etc.

    I told our friend I know why I lost weight – I’m happier here.

  11. Stephen, I totally see both of your perspectives on it!

    And indeed, maybe walking more and eating differently helps contribute to happy, huh?

  12. Lorna, you are SO proven right! I emailed this post to Russ (since he never purposely reads my blog) and his response back:

    “Dating a guy with the last name of Seamon? Hmmm Jeannette Seamon – nice ring to it….”

    That guy’s attitude is light and funny and free! Gosh, I love that guy. (And cancer can’t touch him.)

    Now I, on the other hand, might have some room for improvement. lol

  13. Melissa (one of my coaches to work with!), you asked:

    “Maybe there’s a twist to this? Don’t we exist in both a world of thought energy and the physical?”

    I believe the physical AROSE from our thought energy. And that our thoughts continue to create the physical.

    So yes, they’re both here, but I believe one is responsible for the other.

    Then you asked whether cancer was the culprit .. well, you know I don’t believe we’re victims, so there’s no real “culprit” .. except maybe me! But I don’t think of myself as a culprit, rather more of a creator. lol

    Your uncomfortable question: “What are you afraid of losing?” made me think I’m not afraid of LOSING anything, including Russ, he can die of cancer if he wants to. I know I’ll be just fine with or without him. (Really.)

    But what I REALLY don’t like is the thought of being along for that ride. So the potential loss there feels like a loss of fun & freedom – which it strikes me as ridiculous because that’s exactly what Russ embodies now, and exactly what I’m not being with my food thoughts.

    Hmm.

  14. Hey, here’s a better rule: don’t eat what tastes good… eat what makes you feel good after you’ve eaten it. But then you actually have to pay attention to what you eat and have a certain level of awareness about how it makes you feel.

    And while I agree that how/what you think and feel about what you eat matters… what you “actually” eat also matters. You can think and feel great about never drinking water or any liquids, but you’ll still die of dehydration. The physical universe we live in is ruled by certain universal law. (ie. drink water or die, open you parachute when you jump from a plane or die, etc.). The drink water rule is easy. Which foods lead to health and which lead to disease my not be as clearly defined. But they exist.

    Which brings me back to my first rule: eat what makes you feel good after eating it. Most people would just rather complain that they feel like crap and never actually pay attention to the link between what they eat and how it makes them feel. As with most things in life it all goes back to awareness.

  15. Wow, really surprised to hear myself saying, “I totally agree, Jeff” – ha!

    But I totally agree that it’s all about awareness.

    I think Abe said it best with the suggestion to enjoy your food before, during and after eating it.

    That ensures we’ve got no guilt flowing, and that it’s just about enjoyment.

    You’re right that without awareness, we’d just be relying on blind luck to get there.

    Thanks for pitching in.

  16. We have set ourselves up pretty well for being able to easily “feel bad” when it comes to food & our rules around it, huh, Nikki?

    Acceptance is the first step – from there I intend to more fully feel Enjoyment.

    🙂

    Thanks for the Infinite Love & Gratitude reminder/blessing! SO looking forward to your Lifeline gig on Money Mojo!!

  17. Adrienne says:

    ROTFL!!! You crack me up. I LOL’ed the entire way through this, as I was raised from the age 9 as a holistic/organic food quasi-vegetarian (we ate fish and eggs, no dairy).

    I do agree with Jeff, though. The food that one puts in their body absolutely will have a biochemical effect on the body producing disease. This does NOT mean that thoughts do not also cause dis-ease, even if one ate healthily. Louise Hay cured her cancer by changing BOTH her thoughts AND her diet. I think the LOA part is that we can overcome dis-eases caused by “thoughts” by changing those thoughts. Maybe because I’m still a novice (still reading, understanding and coming to my belief platform), but I’m not yet at a point where I believe someone can overcome lung cancer caused by years of smoking by changing his thoughts alone and yet continuing to smoke.

  18. Glad you got a kick out of it too, Adrienne!

    You know what I’m thinking …

    .. maybe Louise was able to change her thoughts BECAUSE she changed her diet.

    Like, for example, when we start exercising, sometimes we feel so good about ourselves for just doing that – that those feel good thoughts could be the true “culprit” for improving health.

    I think action very often helps us change our vibe – like by setting up a website it gave me reason to believe clients would find and hire me.

    That doesn’t mean the website is what made the difference. (Plenty of coaches with websites and no clients proving that true every day.)

    What it means is that the action helped me get to positive expectation.

    Know what I mean?

    What a fun discussion we’re having here! Thanks for contributing to it, Adrienne!

  19. Mia says:

    Oh, what a great post. Food can be such a battle, a holy war, a Crusade into the Holy Land of Righteousness. I’ve been there, spurs on my boots, helmet with waving feather, fighting now with the flag of Raw Veganism, then Macrobiotics, then Paleo Diet, then Whole Foods, then Just Eat Whatever Feels Right.

    It’s a fun thing, and the more I find an easy way with food, the more I’ve discovered that all this battling was just a way of distracting me from what it’s all about: walking my own path in life, expressing my essence into the world.

    For me, I’ve found the balance by means of reading about food (all the contradictory lines of thought, and believe me, there are many that are diametrically opposed and that all tell you you’ll die and end up with horrible diseases if you don’t follow them), experimenting with different food styles, and in the end eating what feels good and chuck out the rest. That means I intuitively feel a lot better when my food doesn’t contain sugar or preservatives. I also feel better when my diet contains some meat (I get funny on a vegetarian diet, let alone vegan – very imbalanced and ungrounded for me). I don’t sleep well when I’ve had coffee, so I stay away from it most of the time. And when I do eat sugar, it’s a downhill snowball that makes me feel slow and continuously hungry.

    But all these are chunks of wisdom that me & my body & mind gathered together in the course of years of experimenting. By first religiously following all kinds of food dogmas, then throwing them out, and then adapting some again because they feel good.

    Having said all that, I have recently adopted the habit of regularly indulging in dark, pure chocolate… – sugar and all! Feels good – lol.

  20. Good point, Mia. There is so much contradiction out there about what constitutes good nutrition, that that alone makes it easier to ignore.

    And I agree this is the key: “eating what feels good and chuck out the rest.”

    I have to remind myself that a LOT whenever I hear someone raving about how GREAT she feels after giving up wheat or dairy, or how enlightening a juice fast is.

    Thanks for chiming in, my friend!

  21. Kat Crowley says:

    Jeannette…

    You are me and I am you, but it is much funnier when I read your take on Russ’ food choices than it is when I re-run in my head the Food Moralizing soundtrack that I share so frequently with my near and dear ones. My food sensibilities don’t always make sense to others [I eat bacon, but gag at the thoughts of ham or pork chops; I adore ice cream, but cringe at the idea of eating partially hydrogenated anything…] I’m with Jeff – eat what tastes good, but only if it makes you feel good when you are finished. Ice cream tastes good, but if I eat the whole quart, I feel gross in so many ways, so I try to stick to a small dish. Red wine is delightful, but it causes me to break out in a serious case of STUPID and/or HUNGOVER no matter how much or how little I have, so I don’t have any, ever.

    I am working on progress, not perfection…if I can up my awareness of what I am doing, that is really fine. I can be a power of example to my dear ones, but I can’t make them do anything they don’t choose to do!

    You are the best!
    Kat

  22. Yeah, I get it, Kat. I’ve learned my limits, too, on how much ice cream and wine feels good (very little).

    And I have to say YOU’RE the best, Kat, for sharing this gem:

    “I am working on progress, not perfection…if I can up my awareness of what I am doing, that is really fine.”

    Thanks for that easiness!!

  23. PurePotential says:

    first….did you arrange for the Google ads beneath your blog entry to be about cancer treatment????
    Great entry and it brings to mind the zealotry I felt when I began understanding LOA and manifesting. A couple of ‘you are crazy’ and ‘get out of my face’ situations and I moved firmly into ‘Not my business’ land. How can we know that others are not manifesting exactly what they want? Just because it is different from what we want for them? My my mantra for years was best characterized by the play title ‘I love you, now change’. These days at my core I know that it only applies to me, both the love and the recognition of change when I want to do so.
    Good post – got me thinking today.

  24. Jenny says:

    Thanks for sharing this, Jeannette. I’ve been on my sweetie’s case about diet soda and potato chips. He eats so many that he must feel awful or he will really soon! Yet somehow he continues to feel great.

    And like you commented about Russ, I have definitely lightened up on my eating habits in our 10 years together, and I seem to be doing okay. Interesting…

    My brother-in-law was recently diagnosed with some digestive problems and was told that “some day he will have colon cancer.” Part of me got mad at the doctors for telling him that because now my family and his will just be waiting for the cancer. And I have a feeling how that will go, down the road.

  25. LOVE this, Jenny: “and I seem to be doing okay. Interesting…”

    I totally get that!

    And I totally get how mad you can be at a doctor (who holds so much credibility for so many people) who predicts a cancer diagnosis.

    I’m reading Coyote Healing and Coyote Wisdom where the author talks much about how a diagnosis is just a story. And if doctors would learn to be better at telling happy-ending stories, then it would be so much easier for us to believe in our healings!

    Thanks for reading and especially for commenting, Jenny!

  26. Melissa says:

    One of my favorite women, Julia Child, when asked about a restricted diet on McNeil/Lehrer said, “Gin and beef. All in moderation.” (paraphrasing here)

    And my late Grandfather, whom I adore, was ecstatic to learn he had cancer. Seriously, he was so excited he called everyone, “Oh yes! I thought I was just slowing down!” He was 83 at the time, and lived another 13 years.

    How about the smokers who are more wrinkly than the rest of us, but live long? Or, on the other side, the gay men who were having a great time, completely unaware of acquired immune deficiency syndrome?

    Maybe there’s a twist to this? Don’t we exist in both a world of thought energy and the physical? Does saying that it’s our thoughts about food that effect us change the experience of feeling buzzed by caffeine or sleepy after Turkey? Clearly you believe that too (see MD habit, and near diabetes diagnosis above).

    Jeannette, you are brilliant. I know you know all this already. Is cancer the culprit (’cause Russ isn’t the one thinking about it)? Or food (you eat healthy, how do you celebrate your health?) What are you afraid of losing? What would happen if Russ was just Russ? Why is that the hardest gift we can give someone?

    For fairness, Mark takes his business calls outside now so I don’t butt in and offer helpful suggestions later.

  27. OH my gosh Jeanette! I used to be a health food nut too–I even started a 2nd degree so I could study nutrition to be a registered dietician but stopped as soon as I realized that wasn’t really what I wanted to do.

    And I remember when seemingly no one was even aware of what partially hydrogenated oils or trans fats were–and I was absolutely vigilant about avoiding them and would get so upset that no one cared about things like that–white flour, hormones, and on and on.

    I was worried about people I loved getting enough omega 3’s, antioxidants, blah blah blah–and not concerned enough about the level of joy. Going to dinner parties and out to eat actually became somewhat stressful and….truthfully, I became a total pain in the @#$ to eat with/cook for even though that was the last thing I wanted.

    I’m still a vegetarian (although I do occasionally eat fish & eggs) but I have waay chillaxed on worrying about nutrition (thanks A-H for that). I completely agree with you–it’s the worry, pushing against, and resistance part that does the damage. Of course it’s wonderful to eat as healthfully as we can, but I feel strongly that releasing resistance is the deeper key to allowing our health.

    That reminds me of something I heard from Abraham-Hicks–that it’s true the water comes out of the faucet, but there’s a bigger story there. The faucet is not the actual source of the water. Nutrition is important for health, but there’s also a much bigger, deeper story about the source of health and well-being….

  28. Nikki says:

    Thank you for the mirror, Jeannette! I too struggle with the hubs and his love of Coke & Mountain Dew. I politely remind him he’s drinking toxins that are not helping his health, physique or ability to sleep. Then I feel rotten for getting naggy and “holier than thou.” So I feel bad, and then I realize I made HIM feel bad by pointing out he’s not “doing it right.” UGH! It is not my desire to sow the seeds of bad feelings for all of us! Talk about out of alignment with source!

    I believe the key is acceptance. Allowing others to walk their own path, without judgment. Yeah, put THAT in your pipe and smoke it (smoking joke!)! It certainly isn’t easy!!

    If he wants to change, it has to be HIS intention, not because I guilt him into it. I can have some influence, by praying, show the example of a Pop-Free life, or just not buying the stuff… but the blatant nagging just drags down the vibe of all.

    Sounds like a great intention for a session. Infinite Love & Gratitude to the contrast!!

  29. PurePotential says:

    Left out part of the play name – I love You, You’re Perfect, Now Change

  30. Amen to THAT, Carol! “there’s also a much bigger, deeper story about the source of health and well-being….”

    Couldn’t agree more!

    And I’m with you as well that Abraham has helped me “chillax” much when it comes to food. Well, Abe and Russ. lol

  31. Google apparently has a setting that picks up on words you use in your headlines or copy and chooses ads containing similar words/phrases. I took them off my website because they were always for other massage therapists in my area.

    I have to confess that I would be very happy if Stephen stopped smoking, not so much for his health, although that is a consideration, but because it stinks (and gives me really bad headaches if I get exposed to too much of it) and causes inconveniences of which he is unaware or just ignores. At least he doesn’t do it in the car. Long road trips are another thing. He rolls down the window just a little while holding the cigarette up next to it and thinks that keeps the smoke out of the car. NOT! Just because I don’t say much about it to him doesn’t mean that I don’t gripe about it internally.

    As for our thoughts about what we eat, ingest, etc., I have this to say: For years I worked at an institution which housed what we then called mentally retarded adults. Some were non-verbal and low functioning. I have seen these people get cancer that would have killed anyone who knew it was supposed to in just a few months and live seemingly unbothered by it for years. I have always thought this was because they literally did no know that they were ‘supposed’ to be sick.

  32. meant to say..at least he doesn’t do it in the house.

  33. Oh my word, JACKIE!!! That is SO cool!! The story of the folks who didn’t die from cancer because they didn’t know they were supposed to!!

    (GOOSE BUMPS!!!!!)

    And I SO know what you mean about how the cracked window, with the cigarette hanging out it, doesn’t cut it!!

    My turn to ROFL! 🙂

  34. There’s dissension on my facebook page that speaks to Jeff’s earlier point about how we can believe what we want, but we will die without air.

    Here’s Kathleen on it:

    “This speaks to my own struggles with LOA as well, and I am coming to the conclusion that Maybe people take the ‘thoughts create reality’ concept to extremes. After all, if you give chocolate to a dog, Mountain Dew to a newborn, or pour salt on a slug, is it their thoughts that killed them? Has anyone changed Down’s Syndrome by thinking differently? Regrow a limb? It’s Possible, but it’s also at the level of faith of ‘move a mountain from here to there.’ Thoughts?”

    I appreciated Frank’s perspective in response:

    “Hi Kathleen –Neither of those things feel good to me. And it sounds like your inner guidance on those matters is pretty clear, which is awesome! I have progressed to the place where I am on this subject over a period of time. At one time, it would have sounded a bit fantastic. I’m now much more of a vibrational match and it feels liberating. If this didn’t feel good to me, I would move on to something else. Nothing is more important than that we feel good!! Hope this is helpful.”

    And I was thinking about how some yogis can go a long time without air, or without a heartbeat. And then I was thinking how Jeff would still say maybe so (MAYBE), but it’s a fact: you will die without air sooner than later.

    And that Kathleen would say she’s never known anyone who’s grown a limb back.

    And I thought that no matter how much we argue about what’s true and what the facts show, as we make that argument we create those limits.

    I’m not opting into them. I’m not saying I don’t believe a whole lotta stuff I’d rather not, but there’s no way I’m consciously talking myself into limits. Rather, I’m consciously working my way OUT of them. (That’s my story, and I’m sticking to it.)

    And that just leaves an easier path for those behind me (which I’ll probably be on again one day) and little by little (or lots by lots) we expand what our limited brains have been willing to accept.

    That’s my take on it! (Kinda long for a facebook comment.)

  35. re the comment about changing Down’s Syndrome by thinking differently: Wouldn’t this require the person affected to do the thinking? Otherwise, you would be trying to change someone else. My take on such conditions is that the soul decided to take them on for whatever reason and that we don’t know what that reason is.

  36. Have you heard Abraham’s take on Down’s, Jackie?

    That that was their intention in order that we would be much less successful in CHANGING them!!

    Wow, huh?!

  37. Jenny says:

    I love this, Jeannette:

    I’m not opting into them. I’m not saying I don’t believe a whole lotta stuff I’d rather not, but there’s no way I’m consciously talking myself into limits. Rather, I’m consciously working my way OUT of them. (That’s my story, and I’m sticking to it.)

    Thank you. Living without limits sounds like a really great way to go.

  38. And THIS, my friend, is exactly why I lead a group toward financial freedom, not food freedom. Still figuring that one out as you can tell!

  39. Flavia says:

    Ha ha ha!:)))) Jeannette you’re so FUNNY!!

  40. Melissa says:

    I love this post and the debate it’s creating. You’ve speared the heart of LoA and where I get stuck.

    Yes!!! Totally freakin’ ridiculous.
    Remember what you said in Mojo Magic about foreclosure, “What’s so bad about that?”
    Does your creative power up and vanish with bacon or cancer or if Russ doesn’t act how you want him to? Um, I don’t think so.

    What would feeling “fun & freedom” about your food look like? (food fight, savoring gorgeous summer berries, food orgy w/Russ, naked sun bathing)

    I get stuck on some LoA premises. But I do believe that we’re responsible for our thoughts, actions and that deliberately creating my life is a hell of a lot more fun.

    I admire your bold action, putting it out there. Kind of hard to stay stuck when you invite others into the dialogue. Thanks for teaching me that and creating such a powerful group.

  41. Tiffany says:

    I was born with a natural peace with food. It tastes good…I love things that taste good. Paired with my recent peace and love for my beautiful body, I’m set! I work (or worked, my last day is tomorrow :D) at an Ice Cream shop, next to a pizza place. I have discovered about 12 new favorite flavors of ice cream and learned that pizza fries are God’s gift to the human race. People would always come in and say “I don’t see how you stay so thin! Eating all this ice cream would blow me up…” And I just smile and say “If you say so…” (while politely returning to my three scoops of maple walnut..harumph!)

    My mother, on the other hand, is the opposite. She insists on eating what I call “rabbit food” because magazines say it’s “healthy”. She even fasts for a day every week to help her lose weight. She’s always complaining about how fat she is and how bad some foods are. Needless to say, she still finds it hard to lose weight sometimes.

    I’m almost the Anti-Jeannette. I’m always nagging my family to embrace the food they like and stop labeling it good or bad. Just enjoy it and trust your body to take care of itself!

    I love your honesty, Jeannette, because we all have our LOA battles that we need to overcome. Whether it’s bologna or boyfriends we need to get lined up with, the most important thing is to FEEL GOOD! Health will follow 😀

  42. Tiffany, if you’re not careful, this kind of talk is going to get you in trouble. ha!

    My gremlins had a heydey with your note, Tiffany, wondering how old you were and just try that kind of diet your whole life and see where it gets you.

    I could have said the same thing myself until my mid-30s.

    Would anyone be surprised to hear that what my gremlins were saying as I read Tiffany’s note were the exact same words I heard from my mom’s family while growing up? (“Oh just you wait, young lady, your time will come too.”)

    “My time is gonna come.”

    Strongly ingrained.

    Whatta buncha crap.

    I’m going to the money mojo old story pot with this one! (Apologies to those of you who aren’t familiar with that reference/pot.)

    Thanks, Tiffany, for showing me where my thought hangups were. (Purpose saying “were” instead of “are.”)

    Love to you, girlfriend! And your twelve ice cream flavors and pizza fries. he he

    (I can’t believe I just blessed pizza fries.) lol

  43. Dana - Your Inspired Coach says:

    Jeannette,

    We have similar guys. When I told David that I read we could live up to 50% longer on a restricted calorie diet, he said, “I don’t want to live if I can’t eat what I want. I’d rather live 50% less and enjoy my dinner.”

    Sums it up!

    I had a yoga instructor suggest I begin to eat tofu yesterday. (anyone who knows me is laughing already) I have my own food beliefs. Tofu is loaded with estrogen. She didn’t know what to say to me in response to me saying her healthy belief was unhealthy to me. Then I had a convo later with a friend over cornish hens, and I asked her if she knows many vegans. She rolled her eyes and said no as if she eats vegans for breakfast.

    Can’t we all just eat what we feel nourishes our bodies and makes us happy? Can’t people walk their own path? I mean, food snob can mean so many things and we’re all proving it. 🙂 I sent an article to a friend in Germany about the dangers of soy and she was offended and sent me back a schooling on who probably funded the article and why she thinks it’s hogwash. Then I let her have it because she sends vegan messages down my throat all the time and I don’t ever say anything to her, so I let it all out at once. tee-hee We’re still friends, don’t worry. 😀

    My sweetie’s parents tell him what to eat, and what he shouldn’t be eating, his sister does it and they blame me as if I influence what he eats or how much of it he eats. They eat margarine! (there I go) The fact is that I try to cook what is healthy and within both of our food snob requirements. He’s the one that goes to the drive thru for lunch. 😉 I have told his mom it’s not my job to be his mother. He already has one. It wouldn’t feel good to me to have him lpolice my food choices.

    If I eat bacon or mac n cheese or ice cream or white pasta or I refuse to drink green tea or eat tofu or overdoes on pomegranate, so what? I guess I’m happy with my 93 year old great-grandmother’s mantra that the fewer steps my food took to the table, the better and everything in moderation, and therein lies my LOA manifesting belief. All is well in moderation and my body is healthy and loves to be given mac n cheese!

    We’d all have a nice potluck, wouldn’t we? ROFL!

  44. Sweetheart, I am on my knees, bowing in front of you .. that YOU COOK!

    And your post is inspiring me to release the “food snob” within. ha

    Thanks, Dana!

  45. Leslie Richter says:

    I dunno know Jeannette I know of three women who ate amazingly well and all got breast cancer. It makes me wonder, like what were they thinking. Lol.
    Serioulsy though some people eat, drink, carry on and still live to a ripe old age while others live as consciously as they can and get sick. My mother who has smoked for 61 years is now on oxygean and wonders how she got there because she is such a nice person. I am amazed how she has been able to maintain her lifestyle even still living with me and on oxygen.
    My husband insists I should not buy her cigarettes. But I frankly don’t have the balls and she IS my mother. She so clearly has chosen her lifestyle and even gently pointing out things she still choses this vile entity.
    We live to the level of our awareness and nagging at others just doesn’t work. They chose what they chose and what is more important for you is what you chose. That is what you have control over.

    Love Leslie

  46. Exactly, Leslie! So much of this makes no “sense” on the outside. Which just confirms how ridiculous it is to point to any “truth” and call it that for everyone.

    My choice, and it’s a work in progress, is to release the “truths” I’ve bought into that I now know better of.

    Thanks for adding to this lively discussion, Leslie!

  47. Kim Falconer says:

    Jeannette, This is a fantastic post and discussion! Wow. So many gems here. Thank you everyone!

    I have some beliefs about food.

    Food is energy, just like everything else.

    On the quantum level, it’s empty space, an etch of light on the cosmic holograph for us to project into our reality.

    Food is whatever we believe it to be. Like air or water, we can live with it or without. (did you think that plants were the only ones capable of photosynthesis?) There are no limits here.

    Food is also a symbol of nurturing.

    Thoughts of food are strongly linked to survival and Mother. Food is our first tangible experience of relationship…No wonder issues come up! (Especially with boyfriends and family)

    If we don’t like what someone else is putting in their mouth, we might want to check for gremlins in our own kitchen. What judgments do we have that favor one arrangement of atoms over another? Do we think those atoms can not rearrange instantly to offer everything we ‘need’?

    Food issues might be asking if we are being loved and nurtured in our favorite ways. Or, if we take what’s on offer because it’s ‘all there is’ . . . After all, we have to eat, right? Ha!

    When we think of food as energy and energy as love, battles about diet take on a different hue.

    On an energy level the only carcinogen, the only ‘toxin’ is a thought we keep thinking.

    🙂 Kim

    PS. Haven’t you heard? Coffee is known to reduce the likelihood of Parkinson’s, colon cancer, liver cirrhosis, and gallstones. It’s like medicine in a cup! *wink* There is evidence for everything!!!!

  48. Hey, Kim, I have a friend who did that!! For many months – what are they called … “breatharians”? Only taking in oxygen? Or do they do limited amounts of water, too? I can’t remember.

    But it was very cool to know someone instead of just read or hear about someone who has practiced that.

    Re coffee .. “evidence for everything” .. yes, I know that. Honestly, if I liked coffee, I’d be quoting that stuff too. But it’s VILE!! ugh!! ha

    My favorite part: “On an energy level the only carcinogen, the only ‘toxin’ is a thought we keep thinking.”

    And I’m quoting you every time I think about what to eat and ask myself which arrangement of atoms I prefer at this time. lol

    LOVE YOU, KIM!!

  49. Dana - Your Inspired Coach says:

    Thanks Kim! Coffee also stimulates brain function at moderate consumption and keeps alzheimer’s at bay. One cup a day keeps the fuzzies away, and tastes yummy too!

  50. Adrienne says:

    I’ll drink to that!

    (( giggle …sorry … couldn’t help it …))

  51. Leslie Richter says:

    You know I don’t mean to sound so weak kneed about this. The truth is that it does matter what others chose around you. And it does affect your energy field. I suppose I was wanting to remind you that it is just energy and you can shift it at any time even when you are sitting around meat eaters.

    Some people like yourself have a wonderful awareness of good health and probably are here to teach other’s that very thing.

    XXO

  52. Patricia says:

    HaHaHaHaHA!! Loved it! As an ex chef – 30 years, more then 24 spent in the Wholistic arena – this just cracked me up.

    The food trip has been a wild ride indeed!!! After much discussion, observation, passion and experimentation I have concluded that you can be healthy eating ping pong balls – as long as you are willing to put in the time to change your orientation and make it so.

    Learning to keep my mouth shut was no easy task. I kept at it – as a ritual that expressed my commitment to breaking my own habit of thought. In this area of my life I have experienced triumph, and more importantly, freedom.

    Great post Jeannette!!

  53. Laura says:

    Jeannette, what a can of worms you opened! It’s great…what a heated topic. I can totally relate as I grew up with very health-conscious parents. Never had soda, candy or any junk food in the house. Of course, at the time me (and my siblings) felt deprived and grabbed the first cupcake we could when we had the chance outside the house. As I got older (and had some stomach issues right after college)…a “traditional” doctor treated my symptoms and gave me medication to take (I was 22 years old!).

    I wanted to take part in my own healing and went to see a complementary physician (one who specializes in preventative medicine but works is conventionally trained) and thought his untraditional testing methods, discovered I had many food sensitivites (not as severe as food allergies), my digestion was “off” as a result of these intolerances and I was not absorbing all the nutrients from my food. This was ultimately the reason why we eat, no? To nurnish our bodies?

    I was so thankful that I could participate in my own healing process and started to feel better when I changed my diet that I had a new found appreciation for my body, my health (not to take it for granted) and how good it felt to feel healthy.

    That being said, I also believe that you cannot preach to someone else what you believe in or what works for you (unless someone asks!)…I think this is why Dana was referring to as well. I saw my father – who is 80 and in great health – preach to friends, family and strangers and it always made me cringe. What gives someone the right to tell people how to eat (I am not yelling at you, Jeannette! – This is what I thought about my father). Many people who have a healthy lifestyle have a superior attitude that they are “better”. Sometimes it is just about education…I am very interested in this subject so I’ve educated myself. Other times it is just personal preference. I like to look and feel fit, and keep my weight down. I feel better when I eat better. I am less tired, feel more in control…but at the same time, I enjoy my food immensely….allow myself to indulge when I want and always feel good about it. That is the bottom line. If you feel good while you are eating in, feel good after (both emotionally and physcially) and are experiencing good health…than whatever you are doing it working for you.

    It is such a huge issue for people because it is not just nourishment. It deals with weight issues, emotional issues, family habits, cravings and a sense of comfort, and also health. I totally get where you are coming from with Russ. It is very hard, when YOU know what that stuff is doing to his insides…not to say something, but it really is his choice. I’ve been there many times and most of the time, they end up making the changes themselves once they are no longer nagged. Anyway….I know it’s a long post, but I really related to this subject! Thanks for posting a great blog…once again!
    xo, Laura

  54. Tshombe says:

    Hooray for Making Peace with Food, not matter what it is (or even if we’d classify it as food 🙂

    Oh, and hooray for accidentally eating Oreos, too!

  55. Sara Exley says:

    Hello All,

    I haven’t read all the comments yet, but I knew I had to respond to this. I’ll try to keep this as brief and cohesive as possible. I could give a weekend seminar about this topic…(note to self.) I have so many exciting thoughts about this!

    First of all, I think it’s relevant to point out that when we become the cancer police, we contribute to the disallowance that creates cancer. Everything that has evern been physical has been energy first, and thoughts equal energy.

    It seems to me that there is much confusion about health, happiness, life, and how they all relate to each other. We think our happiness lies in physical longevity, and that our power lies in knowledge. But truthfully, I would rather live 25 happy years than 70 or 80 miserable years. (If I had to pick one, that is.) The point is that long lives do not equal happy lives. Happy vibes equal happy lives. AND healthy vibes equal healthy lives. Always and all ways – whether you’re eating a meat lovers pizza or a tofu salad.

    And as for the “knowledge is power” stuff, that statement has always felt exhausting and just plain wrong to me. Is it really true that I can’t experience health unless I know EVERYTHING there is to know about food??? No, of course not. As someone who happily eats whatever I feel like, I’ve been lectured time and again by friends and family. Before my LOA awareness, I could see they meant well, but somehow I knew that this squacking about healthy food couldn’t be the whole story. I knew there had to be a better, EASIER way. A way to live happy and healthy without worrying about what I know about food and what I don’t, what I eat and what I don’t eat.

    Here’s what I know to be absolute: I’ve always been healthy and fit for as long as I’ve been in this physical body, and believe me, diet and exercise have had little to nothing to do with it.

    (I’ll spare you of my controversial eating habits, LOL.)

    The main reason I’ve been healthy my whole life is simple – it doesn’t occur to me that I should be unhealthyor sick. Also, I follow my gut about what I eat just as much as everything else in my life. What if we all made Intuition our health plan? Imagine how many crappy rules we would eliminate just by following what feels good and what tastes good! Imagine how much more health we would actually cultivate within ourselves with such a relaxed attitude!

    We are energy beings playing in a physical playground CREATED by energetic offering. We get what we think and feel about, and when we’re worried, we get what we’re worried about.

    Here’s my mantra to add to the pot;

    “There are many paths to perfect health, and each moment supports me in intuitively living my perfect path.”

    Good Vibes…it’s what’s for dinner!
    -Sara E.

  56. What an interesting debate this has turned into 🙂

    This is where I am right now (could be different tomorrow!):

    I don’t know what is “healthy” food/eating and what is not
    – cause there are so many “experts” telling us their (different) “truths” and most of the experts see only a little part of the big picture (my belief!)
    – cause science “proves” new truths every day (little parts again, in my belief) (and I even believe that scientists often prove what they intend to prove, which makes it even less “truth” for me)

    I believe that what really matters is our thoughts and beliefs about food and health
    – this is very new to me and I’m only in the process of understanding this, accepting this and finding out how to live this in practice “my way” (I do enjoy this process 🙂
    – this also means (to me) that “healthy” is different for every person according to their thoughts and beliefs

    And as I’m clearly very much “confused” on a higher level !!! – I do my best not to impose my food and healt beliefs on others – meaning that I accept whatever others choose to eat (and drink and smoke – and not eat).
    – except for my 9-year old daughter who I’m now mostly trying to learn to listen to her own body and what it’s telling her!

    Jeannette, as I read your post I couldn’t help thinking how clever it was of you to attract Russ in the first place so that he could bring you some contrast on food, health and other life matters – ha-ha !!! (and please forgive me if I’m completely wrong here!)

    Oh- and one more thing – the comment about the mentally retarded persons who lived for many years with cancer “cause they didn’t know they were supposed to die from it” – gave me goose bumbs – and once again “proved” to me that our thoughts are SOO powerful

  57. Great post, Jeannette! And I knew as I was reading it that it was gonna stir up a LOT of debate, LOL. We have SO MANY judgments and beliefs about food! I am one of the most remarkably relaxed people I know when it comes to food (this is no small miracle considering I have two degrees in nutrition and spent a decade working as a Registered Dietitian!)

    I absolutely agree with what Kim said: Food is whatever we believe it to be. There are people eating what most of us would consider to be “totally crappy” diets who are thriving, and there are people who are absolutely meticulous about what they eat with lots of health issues. The most important thing is that whatever you choose to eat, you absolutely need to feel good about it! If you believe it’s bad for you, it will be 🙂 So, as Abe says “Get clear and happy, whichever choice you make!”

    I am quite clear that food is my friend, and that my body is totally capable of taking whatever it needs from what I eat and leaving the rest. I love food and it loves me! I eat everything from broccoli to ice cream and enjoy the heck out of it all, guilt-free 🙂

    There’s a cool book called “The Gospel of Food: Everything You Think You Know About Food is Wrong” by Barry Glassner which I would highly recommend to anyone who’s interested in shaking up their food beliefs and eating with less guilt.

  58. This post got me to thinking, and I thought I’d share what’s stirring on the inside of me even though it’s more questions than answers at this point.

    First, my background is that I too “almost” became somewhat of a nutritionist – more like a Natural Health Practitioner. I was literally beginning my courses and my husband at the time requested a big life shift that I agreed to with the intention of coming back to the studies at another time – that was more 15 years ago – and I think way differently than I did then, about almost everything.

    For one, my mom was also studying to be a Natural Health Practitioner – she died of breast cancer two years ago after many years of eating completely “right”. She actually had quality of life many of the years that the cancer lived in her body but it eventually took over her body – her “earth suit”.

    I took care of her the last 6 months of her life. It was not a pretty picture and I had so many questions. How could this happen? She did everything “right”.

    About the same time I “happened” to come into the possession of several books that maybe answered some questions and raised a few others.

    The books:
    Biology of Belief – Bruce Lipton
    Molecules of Emotion – Candace Pert
    Deadly Emotions – Don Colbert

    Here’s the general concept I picked up from these books: “Our thoughts, our beliefs, our emotions release chemicals in our body that can eventually kill us. Our anger, depression, anxiety is more dangerous than the food we eat or don’t eat.”

    I look at my mom’s life. I hold her in very high esteem and learned so much from her in many ways but… she played the victim and held on to hurts long after the event had passed. Until the day she died she would not talk to her brother because she felt he was so critical of her. He tried over and over to reach out to her but she wouldn’t even take his calls.

    Okay – here’s where some of my stirring thoughts & questions come in.

    So, if everything is energy – our thoughts & emotions are energy, the food is energy, our bodies are energy – all energy…could it be that food, i.e. fruits & veggies vs. oreo cookies vibrate at different rates and can be energy enhancers or energy disrupters. Got me so far?

    Okay – well so are the emotions of anxiety, concern, caution, or relaxed joy, all energy drains or gains.

    Now, consider Russ who is consuming some of the energy drains in his “faux” butter but with a happy contented heart. Maybe his energy “balance” is safe, I don’t know.

    And, consider my mom who ate only energy enhancing foods with a bitter, unforgiving heart – somehow her energy was way out of balance.

    So, maybe it’s not a case of all or nothing – never, ever eat another Oreo cookie or slab of barbecued red meat – but maybe it’s a matter of paying attention to energy balance. So maybe if we’re anxious about something it is a better choice to add energy enhancing foods to our menu and when we’re celebrating life it’s okay to serve up the brownies.

    I dunno, what do you think?

  59. Hey Jeannette!
    I was just skimming through all the awesome comments and I saw yours about “Your body is a temple.” Here’s the thought that came to me:

    Yes, both of your bodies are temples.

    You just belong to different churches. 😉

  60. Iyabo Asani, The Inner Genius Coach says:

    Jeanette, I just want to say how much I love and adore Russ. You are such a force to be reckoned with that I admire him for being around you and just plain being himself.

    I love that guy!

    I love how this post went over into the food arena and we all get to discuss what gets us.

    What I noticed even from the comments, is that it is all about alignment.

    In preparing for my class, I have been studying Gregg Bradden and the alignment of thought, emotion and feeling and the result we get.

    Here again, it is alignment about eating what feels good, before, during and after.

    It is really a tell tale sign, how much discord there is around our bodies and our eating.

    The issue is how do we create alignment with the information we have about food and the way we feel about it and what we eat.

    Russ seems to have alignment. Did I say how much I love that guy?

    Now, I see why you are so attracted to your sweetie. He has very clean and clear energy alignment – just like you do!

    Hugs,

    Iyabo Asani
    http://www.AuthenticChangeCoach.com

  61. Kim Falconer says:

    Karen, I like what you said: ‘The most important thing is that whatever you choose to eat– feel good about it!’

    Here is a link to the book you recommend. The Gospel of Food: Everything You Think You Know About Food is Wrong by Barry Glassner. We can search inside and have a good look!

  62. re“breatharians”:We just watched ‘What If, the Movie” and there are a couple of people in it who do this. Google it and you can stream it for $4.95 if you are interested.

  63. Col @ life by muse says:

    Wanna hear something funny Jeannette? I misread “This sounds like a great time for an intention” to say “This sounds like a great time for an intervention” ha! 🙂

    I totally understand what you’re going through … I’ve been doin’ the very same dance over here. A very LOAish friend of mine told me a few months ago that a food is not bad for you if you do not *believe* that it is bad for you (after which I promptly went out and purchased the tube of chocolate chip cookie dough which I had been avoiding for months, prompting the inner argument, “I totally believe that he is right” / “I totally believe that cookie dough is naaahahat the best for you” / “but I know that he’s right” / “but really, Col, come on, not s’good”)

    This is the time when I say something fabulous and insightful … and I got nuthin’! ‘Cept “thank you for keepin’ it real, my friend!” And, “you rock!”

  64. Yeah, an “intervention style” intention, Col! ha

    You have just summed up the frustration/challenge that so many LOA savvy folks experience!

    It’s ONE thing to know we can create whatever we want (including perfect health on “junk” food), and it’s ANOTHER to actually drop deeply ingrained beliefs in order to be free to do so.

    But, as my Marine Corps father used to say, (thankfully I haven’t heard him say this in a long time), “if it were easy, they’d let women do it.”

    We’re getting it, though. And we’ve get lots of fun practice! Like with tubes of chocolate chip cookie dough. !!? You’re a HOOT, Col!

  65. Pat says:

    Hi, Jeannette

    I’m no expert; however, have studied LOA for over 15 years on my own and through some workshops and other venues. Have you ever considered that you attracted your boyfriend and his eating habits in order to balance out your preoccupation (sorry – couldn’t think of another word) with nutrition. Perhaps it’s the old “what you resist persists”??? Maybe his role is to help you be more relaxed about nutrition in the same way yours is to help him become more aware of it. Somewhere in the middle is the balance you both need 🙂

  66. Janette says:

    Love Kim’s insight into food as just a bunch of atoms!!!

    Some years ago I spent time with a wondeful Pranic Healer, who was by choice a strict vegetarian (and often vegan). She has a very busy social life, often with meat-eaters, and one of her key values is to be kind to others; offending her hosts by refusing certain food would be anathema to her.

    Smorgasbord and buffet events are fine, but sometimes she finds herself faced with meat-only choices. Her solution then is to quietly bless it and then literally transform it into vegetable matter as she eats it. Fascinating to watch her calmly making symbols under the table if you know what she’s up to!

    But she really challenged my notions of what is possible – thanks to this post, I’m now going back to re-examine my thoughts about food. Life is to be enjoyed, after all!!

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