Rooting for Alignment

November 28, 2010 | 33 Comments »

Each weekend when I drop my foster kitty off to be shown at an adoption event, I invite angels to hang out and make sure all goes well for her. 

Except the call to angels isn’t usually that generic.

It usually goes more like: “help her find her perfect home” and “keep her safe and happy in the meantime.”

As in: I know what’s best for her, and that is a quiet day at the adoption event until a stable, loving family who has a good history with cats comes along to claim her and devote themselves to her lifelong well-being.

Which seems like a no-brainer of an intention to me, but what if she’d do better living in a family of dog-lovers?  Or with a single person who moves all over the country?  Or with an irresponsible owner who lets her outside for big adventures? 

(I do, and my cats love it!)

Regardless, my prayer/intention today was a simple: “I’ll see you in a few hours.”  Then I asked angels to make sure she comes home tonight. 

(Not what foster moms are supposed to wish for.)

This isn’t the first time I’ve had trouble letting go of a foster animal.  

But it is the first time I’ve been this conscious about the conflicting and potentially misguided prayers I offer.

One week it’s “deliver her to her perfect family” and the next it’s “bring her home to me”?  It makes me realize just how micromanaging I can be.

Because all I really want for her is whatever she wants. 

And the truth is I don’t know what that is.

Maybe she wants to be free to roam the world without supervision, or to call it good and get run over next week, or to play rough with young children, or to be the only cat in the house, or … maybe she doesn’t give a rip.  I don’t know.

But I see that my opportunity here is to relax and let go.  To let her alignment look like whatever it’s gonna look like, and not let that jeopardize mine.

This routine might seem silly with the foster cat, but we do this same thing with ourselves and our loved ones, too.

We might wish for:

  • our brother to find the right girl and settle down (I actually wish for mine to live it up while he’s still single!)
  • or for our kids to get accepted into the right school and succeed there
  • or for our spouse’s business to take off
  • or for mom’s test results to come back negative.

But how can we know what someone else’s best and highest alignment looks like?

Or even our own, for that matter?

Earlier this year my highest alignment actually involved a breakup with my boyfriend. I cannot tell you how much better life has gotten as a result of that altercation!  And it’s not what I would have picked in advance, were I choosing from the menu of life experiences. 

But it profoundly contributed to a stronger alignment, deeper appreciation and higher quality of life for me.

So what do we know about alignment? 

We know it’s a feeling of thriving, passion, aliveness and delight.  And that it’s got lots of joy and love and appreciation mixed in.

Other than that – could we really say the specifics of what alignment looks like?  Especially someone else’s? 

What if it’s that they/we flunk out of school and travel the world with the wrong guy?  Or lose our home in order to be free to move at last?  Or go head to head with a life-threatening illness in order to better know the delicious value and purpose of life?

I heard Abraham say two things along these lines today:

One was on a workshop CD where they said we don’t really want money; rather, we want alignment.  (We think money brings alignment, but in fact alignment brings money.)

So you might be manifesting money thinking it’ll contribute to your greater alignment and enjoyment of life, but in fact, that would be backwards.  That’s a typical example of how we sometimes misdirect our manifesting efforts.

The other was on a video clip where they said most of us have a problem rooting mom across the finish line of death, but what we’re really rooting for is alignment.  And we can’t say what that is for another.

(If you play it, listen to the very end when Abe says it’s debatable about whose life was saved!)

My takeaway is that we’d do well to let go of manifesting the details and instead just root for alignment,  trusting that Universe can answer that request better than we can imagine.

I might be a big talker today because the phone just rang and my first thought was, “They better not be calling to say Luna got adopted.”

Sigh.

As long as we’re enjoying the process, right?  lol 

And that I am. 

If you have thoughts on this topic, you know I’d love to hear them.

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33 Responses to “ Rooting for Alignment ”

  1. Brittany says:

    Thank you SO much for this! I’ve been wanting a change in my career and romantic goals (i.e. I want a boyfriend, a job this summer, etc.) but you’re absolutely right-all of that comes with alignment! Great post, I really needed this “AHA!” moment. =)

  2. I still dance with this one myself, Brittany. So we’re giving each other good company on it.
    🙂
    Thanks for reading and especially for commenting!

  3. I like the world you live in, Pernille!

    I may very well join you there consistently one of these days! 🙂

  4. Pernille Madsen says:

    Great article, Jeannette!

    One of the things I have really come to understand lately is that I never know what’s best for other people. Never! Only they themselves know. So I’m not very often wishing for other people anymore. And when I am, I mostly wish for them to “feel better”, “find relief”, “get what they want” or something similar.

    And my experience is that it is actually quite a relief to myself. It has made my life much easier to let go of the “responsability” for other people.

    And of course it goes the other way around too; Only I know what’s best for me! Noone else does. So I don’t have to explain or justify my choices. It’s totally OK if others don’t understand why I do what I do. Or if they wouldn’t do the same. They are not me 😉

    I loved the Abe video!

  5. That’s a big conversation in itself, Ryan – about how everything that we experience is what we want. (That there’s SOME sort of payoff or we wouldn’t have engaged it.)

    I would have liked to be have been a fly on the wall for that conversation!
    🙂
    Thanks for reading, my friend.

  6. Ryan Biddulph says:

    Another eye-opener here Jeannette.

    What we say we want and what we want on a subconscious level are usually conflicting ideas. Once the conflict disappears manifestation occurs.

    I discussed this with someone a while back, saying that if someone is poor there’s a part of them that really doesn’t want money. They debated the fact but I mentioned how lack of money is the perfect indicator that the person doesn’t fully want it; if their heart and soul were 100% behind the desire they would be fully aligned and voila! And after reading your post I can say that it’s not even the desire for the money but the heart and soul 100% part – i.e. alignment – that makes it all happen.

    Thanks for sharing another mind bending truth here 🙂

    Ryan

  7. Zoe Routh says:

    I’d add a bit more to your comments Ryan as telling someone who has no money that they ‘don’t really want it heart and soul’ and they just have conflicting intentions might be a little harsh sounding to them. I would add that there is probably some default programming in there – some limiting beliefs – that are hindering the alignment.

    Re-programming those limiting beliefs is akin to ripping out the weeds at the roots and planting new flowers, and the new flowers are much closer to alignment.

    And Jeannette, what the heck is wrong with wanting to keep the kitty around? If you love something, treasure it I say! Just like I am treasuring my little roosters as much as my little hens 🙂

  8. Since you mention it, Zoe, the truth is there are conflicting desires … or at least I’m BELIEVING these are conflicting desires. (They might be conflicting if I’d change my mind about a few things!)

    Right now, I might want to keep the cat, but Russ and the other cats here would not join me in that desire, and I want everyone to be happy and comfortable here, so …

    … you see how I’ve painted this for myself. lol

    I say “might” want because truly what I want for her is a fabulous home, and I know there are better homes out there than mine. Like one that doesn’t have such strong competition for the lap or other prime time napping places.

    Just considering your question is helping me gain some clarity on this!

  9. Anna says:

    Who did what to save who indeed!
    Perspective. It really is everything.
    A slight shift in perspective can change one’s world…
    I LOVE it!

    Our wishing & desire for others is what is so often at the basis of the parent-child relationship – with regard to conflict, anyway.
    Maybe you posting this now will help some of us have an easier time this Christmas. (if not, at least stave off that extra glass of wine! haha)

  10. I’m all for easier times at Christmas!! ha ha

    Thanks, Anna.

  11. Ooooooooohhhhh that is so awesome!! Love the thought of flunking out of school 😀 Like when I had to repeat a year of school and I thought I’d die of embarrasment and instead, got to know my 3 best friends in the whole wide world who till this day, are the sisters I never had 🙂

    If I hadn’t stayed back a year in school, I wldn’t have been in the same year as them and never gotten to know them beyond a casual aquaintanceship! My fribblings (friends+siblings) are the best thing that happened to me and kept me going thru many years of adventures & ups and down. I am SO glad they are in my life – they really truly are my rocks!

    Or now, when I’m homeless for December cos my Argentina trip isn’t happening as planned so instead of being in summery Buenos Aires Dec 7th, I’ll be hanging out at my aunt’s in sub zero temps, I’m giggling & wondering what amazingness is going to happen as a result (after my initial tantrum of course, LOL).

    So I’m with you & Mike Dooley – rooting for the end result of happiness and alignment, and feeling darn good about it!

  12. “Fribblings” – that’s cool, Tia!

    Yeah, that’s a great example of what we’re talking about here.

    And to be able to giggle as things aren’t happening as we expected is a FABULOUS habit for allowing and alignment! woo hoo!

    I totally forgot this was one of the main points of Mike’s Matrix!! He says it much better than I did here.
    🙂

  13. Brian says:

    I’ve been wondering what to call this present stage of my life that started oh about a week ago. Now I know–Getting into alignment. I changed or at least rearranged all sorts of patterns just because everything fell into place that way. It wasn’t a particularly good feeling experience but growth did occur and I’m going towards something with little effort so the transition was a def vortex maneuver orchestrated by the vortex. Deffinately not planned by me. Except of course deep down somewhere it had to be what I vibrated. Extinguishing old patterns must be one avenue of going towards alignment.
    The beauty is that just wanting alignment (I forget, am I supposed to allow wanting or suppress it ? ) seemed to be a part of some apparent synchronicities that placed me somewhere on the outskirts of alignment.
    And why do I call this experience alignment, just because that feels like the right thing to call it.

  14. Brian, when you asked are we supposed to “allow wanting or suppress it?” – the answer is allow the desire! That might not feel like “wanting” (if we get technical about semantics) – but I don’t it’s possible or even preferable to eliminate desire, since that leads to an extinguishment of our experience here. (“Desire fueling expansion” and all that.)

    But wanting and alignment don’t necessarily go hand in hand, right? If we feel wanting as “lack,” anyway. If we feel it as pure desire – then we’re home free because alignment can easily be part of that one!

    I suspect you already know all this, though.

  15. That comment about poor people not really wanting money…

    What if they don’t? What if they really like their life the way it is, and feel sufficient and happy at a poverty level?

    How can we know what they’re thinking? Isn’t that exactly what Jeannette writes about?

    Because I have one definition and feeling about wealth, is it fair to assume that anyone else in the Universe shares my view? No, it’s not.

    Recently, I was shopping at BJ’s Warehouse because they sell things in bulk that my teenagers and their friends will eat – in bulk. At the self-checkout I had a glitch with the computer system and a kind clerk came to my aid. She asked, “Do you have any coupons?” I didn’t. She asked again. I said, “Nope. no coupons.” She said, “You really should shop with coupons because you can save money.”

    Her assumption? That everyone wants to save money. Is that true? Is it true for me? Is it even knowable? In every situation, for every person?

    Nope.

    I know a man – a lawyer – who makes $1 million a year, and consistently has for at least the last 10 years. You’d think him “wealthy”, wouldn’t you? Yet, he lives in extreme lack and fear of loss. He has paid off his house, “so no one can take that away from me.” He refuses to invest his money, “because you lose money in the stock market.” He works six days a week, 12 hours a day. If you asked him, he’d tell you that he’s not wealthy enough. If you asked his wife and kids, they’d say all the wealth they want is his presence.

    I think we all choose. And when we’re in alignment with our best – our integrity, our kindness, our openness, our creativity, our intention, our love – then we will have the wealth we want, on our own terms under our own definition.

    — Michele

  16. That’s the beauty of it, huh, Michele? We all get to want what we want. Period.
    🙂

  17. Sara Blumenfeld says:

    Jeannette,

    I love the authenticity, transparency, and wisdom of your posts. This one, including the video, was spot on for me today. Thanks for sharing your gift.

    Sara

  18. Glad it hit home, Sara! Thanks for saying so, too!
    🙂

  19. Pernille Madsen says:

    Love what you said, Michele 🙂

  20. Parul Bhargava says:

    As always a message I really needed to hear. 🙂

    With all that’s been going with my Dad’s health and general state of mind, and my frustration with trying to explain to everyone in my family how I see things and how we all need to approach whatever is going on, I have often wondered at my role and point of attraction in all of this.

    This clip really answers a lot of questions.

    Thanks again, Jeannette! 😀

  21. I’ve found a lot of comfort in it as well, Parul, so I totally get that.

    Glad you listened to it!

  22. My first thought on reading this was that you aren’t giving conflicting prayers because she’s already found her perfect home with you…and that’s why noone else has adopted her 🙂

  23. Your response makes me smile, Carolyn, and it’s easy for me to find agreement that this is her perfect home right now.

    Thanks for that. 🙂

  24. Kim Falconer says:

    I thought what Carolyn thought too. Lovely Luna has her perfect home. What’s next?

    🙂 This is such a great post. I immediately felt the pressure lift at the thought of ‘just get into alignment.’ That seems so much easier than what’s on my docket every day. I think I’ll make a major change!

    Thank you 🙂

  25. Oooh, that’s what we’re shooting for! An ease or lifting of pressure/resistance!

    woo hoo!!

  26. Leslie Richter says:

    I was looking for some comfort and guidance so I thought to look on this blog, of course.

    Not for a second did I realize I was dealing with an alignment issue, so relieved my mom is now in the hospital receiving medical
    help and so heart broken I can no longer take care of her.

    I actually am literally looking for the courage to root my Mom on to the finish line, imagine my surprise and amazement to seeing those exact words in print.

    Love, it just never looks like you think it is going to and always stretches those dam boundaries you try to put up!

  27. Isn’t that the truth, Leslie? (Love stretching us in new ways.)

    Sending good thoughts for you and mom. (And let me know if you want me to point you to the complete Abe track talking to the daughter who is worried about mom’s impending death.)

  28. MissyB says:

    I’m a thinkin’ on this one…

  29. Cate says:

    Love this, thanks! Well-timed as my mom is here for a three-week visit.

  30. Cate, I’m laughing because your avatar seems to match my idea of what a three week visit from mom would feel like. lol

    Thanks for reading and especially for chiming in!
    🙂

  31. Sarah seidelmann says:

    Jeannette- finally had moment to re-read my forum post and correlate with this wonderful post!! I love this idea of rooting for another’s alignment (how COULD I know what they crave/ yearn for or want to experience??). As for my own alignment- I think I’m at my best when I allow myself to want what I want (sans analysis) – and keep my practical/Left brain/Figure it out self out of the room!!!

    I think for me it always gets back to – how much good can I ALLOW in (. Or how much can I root for my own alignment)…….thank you for this insightful look at my (occasionally) micromanaged intentions:)

  32. Yay for leaving left brain analysis out of the process, Sarah! I like that.
    🙂
    Here’s to rooting for our own alignment – that one’s easy to get on board with!

  33. MMM. Looks like you are suggesting we stop micro managing the universe.

    Sounds like a good idea really because that is sooooo time consuming 🙂

    An interesting prospect.

    Cheers

    Rosemary

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