Q&A: Stuck in Negative Environment

October 13, 2014 | 29 Comments »

How to Manifest When Surrounded by Negative PeopleOkay, fellow creators – you’re up again.

Got a question this morning from one of our younger readers that we haven’t addressed before.

His question goes like this:

So you know how one of the most important tips for LOA is remove yourself from negative situations?

I literally cannot remove myself from my life because I live with my aunt and uncle.

So if I am constantly surrounded by negativity, what can I do?

He’s certainly not the first conscious creator to feel handicapped in his vibration management practice due to being immersed in a negative situation.

How have you handled it when it’s a work environment or family situation that doesn’t seem easy to just walk away from?

We’d all love to hear your tips and insights for our young manifesting friend. Thanks in advance for your advice!

* * * * * * * *
Join 12,444 savvy creators like you in receiving my best manifesting tips in your inbox. For high powered manifesting support you'll also love the online Law of Attraction party at Good Vibe U.

Tags: ,

29 Responses to “ Q&A: Stuck in Negative Environment ”

  1. If I were an LOA savvy person in this situation, I might take it on as my personal favorite new manifesting project … where I practice my ability to feel good no matter what. If nothing else, it’s a good chance to build some focusing muscle!

    I’d start by feeling my feelings fully – and being appropriately mad or sad or whatever emotions are up for me that I’m in this situation.

    And then I’m going to do my magic … I’m going to prove that I’m in charge of me by refusing to join them in their negativity. They can feel how they want to feel, but what I choose is peace. Relief. Optimism. Maybe even love.

    I choose to believe things are looking up for me and always working out.

    I choose to see things that are going right, even while they’re seeing things going wrong.

    And maybe I even choose to see how they aren’t always 100% negative – sometimes they laugh. Sometimes they say something that even sounds hopeful.

    And I won’t be surprised when my vibe takes over, and they entrain to me and my positivity. It may be my best miracle yet.

    But even if it isn’t, I am in charge of how I think and what I feel. I’m not letting someone else rule the day for me.

    And there’s plenty going right. In fact, I may just make a list right now …

    That might be my approach. But I’m curious to hear the input from other conscious creators!
    πŸ™‚

  2. Sam Curtis says:

    I am soooo glad this question has come up!

    I only discovered the LOA early last year and whilst my vibe is generally good and I have manifested some amazing changes into my life, one of the things I find trickiest is changing the subject around negative muggles when they go on about illness, lack of money etc.

    I get that we attract those to us who match our vibrational frequency but on the other hand, most of my friends aren’t LOA savvy at all and just don’t buy-in, so when I meet up with them, they aren’t going to be talking rainbows and unicorns all the time either… even if I am. I got rather preachy when I first learnt about the power each of us has and wanted to wave a magic wand over lots of people’s lives. After getting a healthy dose of criticism back from most of them, I have since learnt it doesn’t work like that ‘cos what you give out you get back and I have definitely stopped offering to lend them ‘The Secret’ πŸ˜‰

    When it comes to money, I can easily be upbeat and turn the conversation around. But when it comes to them talking about someone who is ill (a couple of my friends are in acute situations themselves), sometimes turning the conversation around can seem (from a rational point of view anyway) to be extremely cold! Yet knowing what I know, going back to my old view of the world is helpful to nobody! It IS enough to make you want to walk out of the room/cafe/get out of the car at the traffic lights to restore positive thoughts!

    So I’d be really interested to hear everyone’s responses to this young man’s question.

    I can say this much with regards to the being stuck in a negative situation thing:

    Every summer, the kids and I go back to the UK (we live in Southern Europe) to see the family. My husband stays with us 7 days or so when we are at his parents. They are very laid back and we have a good time. But when it comes to staying at my parents, things haven’t been quite so easy. This year in particular I BIGGED the situation up to such an extent for weeks before we went that it was nothing short of a spectacular round of fireworks on an almost daily basis. For 3 and a half weeks. And with those juicy negative thoughts building up nicely, how could it be anything else?!!

    I learnt 2 things from this:

    1) There is nothing more important than self-love. I hadn’t wanted to stay for that long. Ha, I am sure Mum and Dad secretly felt the same! It didn’t feel like a fun thing to do or a holiday all cooped up together. As much as I love my parents and sharing a bedroom with my 2 children, it literally gave me no space to gather my good thoughts and knowing how the LOA works, well, nothing can be more important than being in alignment with good feelings.

    2) It’s always better to ‘leave the party’ before the volcano bursts. I was at simmering point (as were my folks) after week 1. Instead of feeling I should do the right thing to keep the peace and make sure they saw enough of the grandchildren, I should have broken the time up with a healthy break ANYWHERE. Yes, even camping in the rain. That way, good feelings could have been restored and with a little space and time, we could have reunited for week 3… or the final day!

    I don’t have the wisdom of everybody in this community as I haven’t been consciously creating for as long as some, but I can say personally to this young man (of course we don’t know your age and whether physically getting out of your situation asap is appropriate) is firstly inject as much self love as you can into your situation so that you are putting your needs first. Always. And this can be done in a healthy, loving way. And secondly visualise and script the perfect family scenario you would like to see play out. I so wish I had known about Jeannette’s site before my stay with my family as when I was reading through some of the older blogs on this site, Jeannette (or a guest blogger, I am not sure who) did a FABULOUS blog on ‘FAMILY GATHERINGS’. The tips I found on there from those who replied were fab and I will definitely be putting them into place before our English Christmas gathering!

    Sending you happy vibes for a quick and fabulous resolution πŸ™‚

    PS. This was long, I know. Once I get going…

  3. James says:

    thanks a ton you guys.
    so ive made a list of how to combat this
    1-Jeannette’s: always focus on positive(in situation or in my aunt and uncle that i live with) and try to ignore what they’re saying(to a logical extent, obviously); and try to CHOOSE what i’m feeling-self love, happiness. speaking of
    2-Sam’s: self love. funny enough, Jeannette has been trying to get me to do her self love course(which im loving), so i think that’s a good enough sign.
    thanks a ton! I will be sure to implement this.

  4. We’re rooting for you, James!!

    And hey, you probably don’t remember/know this post, but it was my extreme example of handling a very negative person who was in close proximity:

    http://goodvibeblog.com/leaving-reality-behind/

    In case there’s anything there that helps. πŸ™‚

  5. Cassie says:

    Jeannette, I think you said most of it. The number one thing I see Deliberate Creators get stuck on believing something to be true that they can change. Ie “I’m stuck in the negativity”. I like Jeannette am responsible for the way I feel. If I feel “stuck” I like to daydream about all the possible ways things could change and I’m not stuck. For me, that pokes holes in that stuck feeling and starts to drain the bad feelings and allows the good stuff (people your surround by being more positive) to start flowing in.

    Sam, you are so dead on. Dive into the self-love!!!

    James, so glad you’re doing Jeannette’s course!!!

  6. True story – self love is a game changer for just about anything!

    And Cassie, here’s to the relief (and magic) of a great daydream!

  7. Chantelle says:

    Pop in some earphones and gorgeous music, meditate or take a long bubble bath or nap should you feel negative emotions rising because of them doing or saying something. I know it’s simple but it’s the best way of feeling better immediately. Once you’ve diffused a hot situation, do your self love, positive aspects, scripting etc. The trick is to constantly feel better each time. All universe needs is a little opening and you’ll see the shift start to happen. I went from a home fight zone, to constant peace and calm, to owning my own home – something I’d always dreamed of like this!! Anything is possible, just keep your positive focus more and more until it becomes a natural state, then one day you’ll wake up and realize that you don’t have this physical reality anymore. You have one that corresponds to your state of being. I love this magic!!

  8. That’s a great tip, Chantelle, to have a ready method for diffusing the hot situation, before we engage the positive aspects list or scripting.

    And that’s so wonderful that you’re on the other side of this journey yourself!

    Thanks for chiming in on this one, Chantelle. πŸ™‚

  9. Jen C. says:

    Great question and great responses so far! I hope to add to the mix, that I use my book of positive aspects every day, to really get a grip on the things that I want to increase, so I take time to notice the good things, and it really impacts them.
    In my family, I’ve got three daughters, and I can tell you that I influence them all the time with my magic. I write about them relentlessly, and it helps me focus my attention on the things I love about them, but I also take time to consider that there are lots of other qualities that I barely notice (I don’t dote on those qualities because they may not be important to ME, but they are still there and I love them nonetheless). It allows me to stay in gratitude for what I like, and then also see the person as a whole and stable being, that really doesn’t need me or my opinion to fulfill his/her destiny.
    As for the influence, I calmly remember to be calm and confident, and that each person is free to make their own decisions and opinions. It’s ok if we don’t always agree, but I’ve created an environment of thriving anyhow, where we can all be ourselves without limiting others.
    Life will keep on getting better and better, but when you remember to relish the great moments, more fun comes, and then it gets better, more fun, etc…then you have something better to talk about and feel good about.
    I’ve found over the years that talking about fun family stuff can feed a lot of good feelings, but for some, that is to be avoided! If it’s a sticky situation, I would just focus on what you are grateful for, that your family is giving you a home and care, rather than forcing you to leave and pay your own way, and then, just keep that as the complete focus. (Abraham says if you just give all of your attention to the 10 % of your life that IS working, it will all work out fine, and disregard the 90 % that isn’t working.)
    In general, yes, find lots of good things to focus on, journal about it, milk it, and stay away from specifics about anything hurtful within that situation. And, stay connected and you will find lots of useful and powerful tools to help you with every single phase of your life. Like this blog!

  10. Jen, I love that reminder from Abe (“if you just give all of your attention to the 10% of your life that IS working, it will all work out fine, and disregard the 90% that isn’t working”). And a positive aspects list is a great way to achieve that!

    Thanks for chiming in with that. πŸ™‚

  11. jen says:

    What if, in this immersive game/art project/amusement park that we call space-time and think is all there is, the beings who seem to have the roughest circumstances are really the more experienced players? The “old souls” who are (in the cosmic perspective) enjoying the hell out of the challenge?

    It gives me Yet Another reason not to get between someone and their drama.

    If a roller coaster didn’t have ups & downs, it would be a monorail.

    πŸ™‚

  12. Jen, I think I love you.

    Of course, that’s easy for me to see from where I sit now, but I intend to remember that next time I’m in the thick of it myself.
    πŸ™‚

  13. Christina says:

    Jeannette hit some great points. Once you get where you can change the story (you’re not stuck) and look at this objectively, see what living with your family is teaching you. What is the contrast that’s showing you what you really want? Is there a behavior mirroring back at you, something you want to change about yourself. Families are great lessons in Co creation.

  14. Karen says:

    I had a situation today that triggered very deep, very strong reactions of absolute rage. I know why it was triggered. I know why I have the trigger. First, I did not judge myself for the feeling. Emotion is energy in motion, and boy was I feeling the energy! So, I remembered right away that emotions are only our GPS to let us know if we’re moving towards or away from our center of gravity, our source energy. I knew I wasn’t about to jump from absolute hate and rage to love, so I looked for the best next thought I could think of. “Damn, men like that make me so mad!” Then I tried to move up to “disappointment” and decided it was still to far to go. I want to hurt men who hurt women because they are……fill in the blanks with imagination like I did.

    But then I remembered to just go general: so, maybe someone abused him as a kid, made him feel powerless and his path of least resistance was to hurt his wife and everyone else around him. I really don’t know what he’s thinking, what his motives are. I certainly don’t have power to control him or them, only my own feelings. So, I think I’ll move on to feeling better anyway. I don’t have to figure this out this red hot minute. I’m grateful to know that my emotions are not something that make me good or bad, they are just my feedback system to tell me where I am in relation to where I want to be. And that was not where I wanted to be emotionally.

  15. That really makes all the difference, doesn’t it, Christina? To be able to land on a version of the story that empowers rather than limits.

    And Karen, thank you for that very important reminder to feel the feelings and not judge ouselves for them.

    Such great input on this question – thank you, everyone!

  16. L says:

    I can TOTALLY relate! I was in a very similar position recently for 2 1/2 years as an adult living with her parents during that time. I found living with them very toxic and dysfunctional for me. So I had a lot of strategies for trying to keep myself clear of the intense negativity that would show up from them until I could leave the environment. I used all of these to different degrees. Spend a good deal of time out of the house when you can. Hang out with friends. Go to the library. Walk in the park. Volunteer your time for an organization you enjoy. Treat yourself to a meal or coffee or drinks. Run errands. Go to the gym. Just enjoy yourself as much as possible out of the house. And when you’re at the house, try to stay in your room and steer clear of them. Hopefully you have a television, phone, and radio/stero in your room. Listen to the radio. Spend time online. Call your friends. Watch movies. Pray. Meditate. Dance. Do yoga/tai chi/chi gong. Trust me, I understand that it is very difficult to elevate your energy while in that environment. But everything you do to feel good, feel happy, enjoy the present moment will start to add up until you are able to manifest a better living situation. I bear witness you can do it! I did it, and you can do it too. I moved out of state 8 weeks ago and it was a wonderful gift to myself. Hope this helps. Peace & Blessings. <3

  17. Jennifer T. says:

    hmmm… my two cents worth… here goes:

    see everything in your environment as a TOOL. and, if you need to tune something/someone out, may I suggest:

    1. reading an uplifting book
    2. watching something uplifting on the internet – with headphones, if available
    3. listening to music on an I-pod or whatever device you have
    4. having your own set of mantras that you can repeat over and over again in your head
    5. closing your eyes and zoning out
    6. going for a walk to physically remove yourself, or even going to the front or backyard
    7. writing some ideas down that you’ve come up with in a journal/diary
    8. banding together with people who are of like mind that you can bounce ideas off of.
    9. immersing yourself in your passion
    10. working out…. to relieve stress in a physical way. working out does help things work out!!
    hope that helps πŸ™‚

  18. Brenda says:

    So many brilliant insights within all these comments!!!

    I’m with Cassie – love her suggestion of daydreaming about all the ways in which things could change.

    For me, without building a strong vision (or daydream) of a perfect scenario for such a situation (or even imagining/visioning ‘another’ situation in which that drama doesn’t exist at all), it can be difficult, sometimes feeling impossible, to mentally and emotionally detach myself from this type of drama – like I can’t find my way out of the maze of emotion and frustration. But within a very short time (a few days or less) of a consistent practice, I’ll feel my power to do so. And once I’m even a little bit successful, it’s so much easier to see the good woven into this tricky drama and potential for resolution.

  19. Susann says:

    My first thought when I read this: go back to the basics. The Placemat Process, the focus-wheel, segment-intending, pre-paving, scripting are all powerful tools. Write out your intentions: how you *want* your day to go, how you want everyone around you to treat you, how you want to *feel* all day.It may seem overwhelming at first, but sometimes all it takes is one small step a day.

    I find that reading LOA material lifts me right up when I need it. Not the heavy “technical” stuff as much as practical applications — go through the archives here on Jeannette’s site for a mega-dose of happy! And YouTube has a wealth of great videos. I’ve said before that I have trouble reading the Abe-Hicks material but absolutely love watching the videos. Put them on an MP3 player, stick in your earbuds and let Esther & Abe transport you.

    What I find works best for me to get my vibe turned around is to journal. That’s what I call it, but really it’s just writing myself into a better, higher vibration.

    I start out with something like: “I have NO freaking idea how you’re going to pull *this* off, Universe, but fortunately that’s none of my business. I just know you’ll have my back, as always, and make this happen. Here’s what I want.” Then I start writing. I never know what I’m going to say because I go by feeling: I’ll write a sentence and what feeling that elicits in me will lead to the next sentence and then the next — I always go ONLY for the words and thoughts that make me feel good.

    I often find I inadvertently get caught up in “how” instead of “what”. My energy & positive feelings will take a sudden nose-dive & I’ll stop immediately, look at what I’ve written, and will realize that I’ve gone into subconscious disbelief-mode because I’ve written something that my skeptic-brain says is impossible. I remind myself, ok, this might be impossible for me, but it isn’t for the Universe! I head in another direction & keep writing until I hit something that makes me feel good again and I follow that thought until it leads to another and on & on. After a half-hour of this, I feel invincible!

    Write lists of all the things in the world that make you happy. Carry it with you and add to it until it get to 1000 (it took me almost 18 months!). List all the things right now that are going right and make you feel good. All the *positive* things you can say about where you’re presently living (trust me, they’re there — you just have to recognize them). Remember that this situation is helping you more fully realize what you *do* want. Thank it for that alone. In fact, give thanks for everything you can think of. It’s amazing how much goodness surrounds us every day that we forget to notice.

    Don’t forget to get outside, even if the weather is bad. Fresh air and exercise work wonders. Give yourself little challenges: walk for 20 minutes and notice how many examples of limitless abundance you see: leaves, bits of gravel, blades of grass, birds, grains of sand. Feel the miracle of this universe, of you. Remember there is nothing you can’t do — you’re star-stuff!

    And last, explore methods of protecting yourself against the negative energy around you: surrounding yourself with white light, with a Bubble of Protection, with deflector shields (I’m a Trekkie, so “Shields up!” is a favorite of mine; I’m such a nerd). And good luck. This will pass, and all will be well. [And sorry for the length of this; the more I wrote, the more I thought of.)

  20. So many great ideas here…and that’s what I want to point out James. Look at the amazing community of Deliberate Creator support you’ve manifested for yourself!! All being a witness for you, sending loving thoughts and ideas and examples of success in turning the contrasting environment vibe around! And you can add me to that group. πŸ™‚ You are very powerful, and an inspiration!

    Ease and flow,

    Julie Masters

  21. James says:

    all of these replies are really good. there are fantastic actually,there are just a few things I want to add.
    1-i am STUCK in my house when im home. (im in a wheelchair and there are no sidewalks for me to use safely)and I have no access to outside world at home. I only have internet during class. the only 2 places im allowed to be at is school and home.
    2-my aunt and uncle would probably send me to an asylum if they found out I believe in the law of attraction and am practicing it.

    BUT(to turn the situation around), for 2 weeks il be in the hosptital(I am actually looking forward to it)and that mean I get a 2 week break from my aunt and uncle and I can work more on self love and loa without their interference!
    -new things to add to my list: make a daily list of all the good things about my aunt and uncle:make a list of all the good things in my life until I read 1000

    thanks a ton! I will take what tips I can use and I will apply them.

  22. Chantelle says:

    One more thing James – always remember how blessed they are to have someone like you in their lives. You’re a master creator and you can have, be or do anything you want. Be proud for all you’ve done so far and look forward to how amazing your life is going to be. Leave the ‘what is’ behind slowly, steadily. You can do it.

  23. Sam Curtis says:

    It’s so great that you are finding so many positives already. Now Universe has to start reflecting that and you will find all sorts of miracles going on around you!

  24. Newbie Manifester says:

    Hi Everyone,

    This Q&A reminds me so much of my situation. I’m trying so hard to be positive and manifest good things for myself and my family. Mostly, I believe we’ll get out of debt and I’m trying hard to work at that. But my hubby, who’s usually pretty upbeat, is feeling the strain of the bills and just can’t get on board with the LOA to help us get out of debt. His negativity is starting to get on my nerves – not only are we living pay cheque to pay cheque, now our tv and computer are both on the fritz and he is on a tangent about how money is no good any more, we can’t afford anything, we have so much to buy and no money to buy it. I don’t feel the same way, I believe everything will work itself out. I truly do believe that. But, will his negativity and worrisome attitude hinder my success to manifest a debt free life…a life of financial freedom? I’ve accepted that he doesn’t believe in the LOA, but I do, so how do I make this work for our family?

  25. Bernadette says:

    I have been experiencing something similar am so glad I found this. Some fantastic ideas here.
    I adore what you have called this site Jeannette goodvibe makes me feel a little better straight away πŸ™‚
    I came across a photo on Facebook recently that said “pew! Pew! Pew! This is what it sounds like when your negativity bounces off my whiny b#tch shield” lol it really does sound like that in my head and immediately lifted my vibration πŸ™‚
    I also do a cord cutting exercise with Archangel Michael ( you can find it on youtube) we have plenty of unseen friends that are willing to help us out of the rut if you only remember to ask.
    I always try to remember that I am responsible for my vibration and happiness not anyone else, I am not responsible for anyone else’s that is up to them.
    I find sometimes it is useful to look for the gift in the situation, see it as an opportunity to enhance my loa skills or to show me where there is a limiting belief or kink in my vibration, then try to turn my attention to what it is I want instead.

  26. Kitnye says:

    I’m in the same situation with my family. They’re so negative and my mother repeats her negative beliefs to me like a mantra like she’s trying to make sure I learn them as “wisdom”. I’m 19, graduated from college yesterday and still I can’t just leave the house when I want. My mother made me staying home by making the excuse that she not well and I should stay with her to make sure she’s okay so my plans for today are suddenly derailed because she doesn’t feel like making me leave home and in times like these it’s just so hard to be positive

  27. Jennifer says:

    can’t remember who said it, but someone did, and here it is… “nothing changes until/unless we change.”

    meaning that the world out there ‘seems’ too solid for us to believe …. really believe in many circumstances, that we can alter it… but, we are far more ready to believe that we can change ourselves… the thing is… they are one and the same because it has a ripple effect πŸ™‚

The Podcast for Conscious Creators

The Money Manifesting Free Ebook Is Here:



140



Good Vibe Archives

Search Good Vibe Blog