Success Skills They Didn’t Teach Us

July 2, 2015 | 22 Comments »

10 Secret Success Skills You Were Never TaughtWhen it comes to creating a successful life, there are a variety of skills we’re often taught important to master, like:

  • time and money management
  • self discipline
  • accountability
  • persistence
  • interpersonal and communication skills, etc.

Certainly those are very helpful abilities in navigating our way through life.

But there are a handful of other competencies that are perhaps even more important to living a happy life.

Here are 10 success skills you probably weren’t taught to master:

1. How to say no.

Most of us were trained to accommodate the desires of others rather than to clearly communicate and honor our own preferences. Even when we do, it’s easy to feel guilty in declining someone’s request. But make no mistake, this is an essential skill for happiness.

2. How to accept rejection.

From the very beginning we learned to value acceptance and approval from others, which leads to fearful feelings when we’re not getting it. Yet fear of rejection keeps many of us from following our biggest dreams.

3. How to know what you want.

Many of us become experts at discerning what others want, and we prioritize their desires in an attempt to win affection and approval. This is not a habit that leads to personal fulfillment.

4. How to hear inner guidance.

It is a true gift when one is taught to find answers within, and how to listen for and honor that guidance. Little else contributes to successful living more than recognizing and following this inner voice.

5. How to prioritize joy.

Most of us were programmed that work comes first and dessert later – if we’re lucky. We pay our dues up front and hope we earned the reward later on. Stress and misery is too often the result of this life approach.

6. How to put yourself first.

Selfishness is often criticized and selflessness revered in many of our societies. And yet we know how useless we are to the world when we haven’t taken care of ourselves first.

7. How to give up.

We’re encouraged to continue on no matter the pain or cost because if we want something we must work hard for it. And yet nothing we want is upstream, as Abraham reminds us. Do as Communion of Light advises and learn to give up early and often.

8. How to appreciate what is.

More, bigger, better, and faster is the focus for many folks. But if we don’t learn how to appreciate the present moment and enjoy what life offers right now, it’s hopeless that we ever will.

9. How to ask for help.

Jack Canfield opened my mind when he suggested we become “world class askers.” The very idea seemed somewhat immoral. Yet nothing great is ever created in isolation, so learning to invite support is a key success skill.

10. How to receive.

Most of us learned how to be good givers and are actually uncomfortable on the receiving end, even when it’s something as simple as a compliment or a favor. This is a success skill worth mastering since our dreams remain out of reach until we know how to let the goods in.

Conscious creators are better than the average bear at many of these secret success skills, but if your attention was drawn to any one in particular, I suggest exploring it further. It’s never too late to embrace a new way of being.

Here’s a graphic summarizing all ten skills, and further below you’ll find a link to the free 10 Life Skills ebook. Enjoy!

If you’d like an in depth look at each of the 10 skills (plus one bonus skill), you can get a free copy of the ebook authored by some of my favorite coaches right here.

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22 Responses to “ Success Skills They Didn’t Teach Us ”

  1. Elle says:

    But is giving up an option, Jeannette? You mean ease up, not give up, right? I find that when I give it up, it keeps appearing in my reality and I must tend to it, so to speak. It is definitely in my vortex and I need to work on it somehow, to take it up again, to get closer to it actually appearing.

    When we do not need it to happen, it ends up happening. This means we no longer worry about it or take note that it has yet to appear, becasue we are ok no matter what. In this state, it appears. Perhaps this is what is meant? Would you please clarify this most important point? I think this is what many get stuck on and literally prevent instant manifestations from happening.

    I find when I manifest something quickly, I was either joking about it or did not care about it and viola! It is interesting how this occurs. Maybe we care about things too much, you know, and are not supposed to?

    • I think here give up is to recognize when you are struggling needlessly and to give up the struggle because it is needless. I best manifesting went something like this, “Oh Oh , I am out of money two weeks before I am out of month. Oh well guess like in the past when this has happened, money comes in from somewhere unexpected, so I’ll wait on it.” Guess what I get a check or someone pays back o loan I forgot about, or something else happens and money is there.

    • Jeannette says:

      Yes, thanks, Dr. Ian. Elle, I certainly prefer to ease up myself, but for many who are really kinked on a subject, giving up is the only way they ease up.

      But however we do it – yes, the skill here is to lighten the energy, release the attachment, drop the need, make it less important, etc.

      Thanks for launching our discussion here, Elle! 🙂

  2. Namaste says:

    Jeannette,

    Love your list =) As the world changes and evolves, I wouldn’t be surprised to hear that children are learning these very important skills in school one day.

    I think the “giving up” point is great. It’s a waste of time trying to pursue something that you’re not in alignment with. At the same time, I’ve had to “work” at aligning to a couple of my desires before they manifested. I’ve tried to not do this but it never created the results I wanted. The resistance was still there and until I dealt with it my desire didn’t manifest. I’ve noticed that my friends who are extroverted tend to really resonate with the “letting go early and often” method. My other friends who are introverted tend to resonate with more direct releasing resistance ways of doing things. Of course there are always exceptions to that rule but that’s what has generally been true.

    Namaste

    • Jeannette says:

      I love your comments here, Namaste. Interesting observation about introverts vs. extroverts.

      You know, I think of “giving up” as one of my alignment practices!

      It might be an extreme approach to adjusting the energy, but can be very effective when we’re super kinked on something. But the “make it less important” approach often works wonders for me, too.

      I guess another way to think of the give up instruction is to give up the gremlins, give up the negative story, give up the thoughts about why it won’t work, etc.

      • Namaste says:

        Jeannette,

        Thanks for the clarification, it makes a lot more sense looking at it as a way of aligning to what you want =)

        Namaste

      • Vonnie says:

        Jeannette, this is one of the lessons I’ve had to learn the hard way. I think that it can even be looked at from another perspective- like, for example success is an end of a lot of failures that were tweaked. Giving up gives the chance for that tweak- that change of how you’re moving towards what you want. Without giving up, or letting go, your energy is directed in a fruitless manner. What the rub was, I think, was that when I was in a fruitless quest that I wouldn’t let go of, I hadn’t gotten clarity on what I wanted first, so all I knew was working toward something, but not really what that something I wouldn’t let go of was. Ironic.

        • Jeannette says:

          Vonnie, I LOVE that: “success is an end of a lot of failures that were tweaked.” Here’s to taking enough of a step back to make that tweak.

          Thanks for that, Vonnie! 🙂

    • Anna BoBana says:

      Namaste: “I wouldn’t be surprised to hear that children are learning these very important skills in school one day.”

      Frankly, I’ve seen such skills as inherent and tend to be “taught out” of kids in school – not on purpose or with malice, but because it’s what most of us were taught… in the untaught way.

      When left to make their own decisions, kids tend to be decades ahead of adults in emotional evolution.

      I’m not surprised every time I hear of yet another child teaching these very important skills to yet another adult. 🙂

      • Namaste says:

        Anna,

        That’s a good point about how these skills are natural and actually get “taught out” of kids while in school. I certainly had that experience when I got into sales early on where I was taught to ignore my emotions. Great point =)

        Namaste

  3. Susann says:

    I’m a great believer in giving up: in order to manifest something successfully, you have to disengage fully from the desire of an outcome. Desire it. Clarify to yourself what “it” truly is. Fully expect it. Then give up on it — let it go — completely.

    We’re taught: never give up. But often the thing we’re pursuing isn’t really what we want. We’re not listening to our true heart. If you’re spending all your time chasing things you only *think* you want or what other people think you *should* want, you’ll have no room in your life for the real dreams. So, yeah: give up faulty dreams, wishes, desires, beliefs, goals, plans, jobs, toxic people, hobbies, career paths, bad marriages to the wrong people, wanting someone to love you who clearly does not, other people’s expectations of you. Only after I learned the freedom that comes from “giving up” on things that don’t nourish & support me have I found real joy & the magic of LOA.

    • Elle says:

      My understanding of freedom is to enjoy to the fullest the flow of life and things as they come, without the pressure of having to pursue this or that and have it show up becasue of intense need to. Things come easily this way. I guess the less pressure the better.

      Just trying to understand this a bit more.

    • Jeannette says:

      Excellent point, Susann, that giving up is part of the surrender it to Universe process. Not something we do out of frustration, but something we do to get out Universe’s way in manifesting it.

      Thanks for that! Really helpful comments you’ve shared here. 🙂

  4. Robert says:

    I love this list so much that I wish I had it on a giant poster to hang on my wall as a constant reminder.

    Then I wish I had a book where each item on this list was a chapter heading.

  5. Liz says:

    This is garbage. Many babies’ first word is NO!! It goes hand in hand with knowing exactly what you want and how to achieve joy. We were not all raised to be doormats nor are we raising our own children that way.

    • Jeannette says:

      Yes, it sounds like you’ve got joy down pat, Liz. Kudos for not un-training your kids out of what they naturally know! 🙂

  6. Michael says:

    CONGRATS JEANNETTE,
    Your list of “Skills They Didn’t Teach Us” is great, and important!

    I believe the following subjects should also be taught, in a Round Table format, where everyone is made to feel safe in a non-judgable setting. Like an old fashioned Rap Session.

    “What does being an Adult mean to you?

    “What does Marriage mean to you?

    “What does Being A Parent mean to you?”

    What does living with another exclusively mean to you?

    “What does love mean to you?

    Including discussing what are the possible difference between romantic love, (5th house) and love as interpreted in the (7th house) of Partnership.

    What makes for a mpositive sexual experience?

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