There are four different quadrants to explain your ‘beingness’ behind your choices. Deny choice, Avoid choice, False Choice and True Choice. You can be in anyone of these quadrants in any area of your life at anytime.

For the sake of brevity, I’ll describe False Choice and True Choice. In both False Choice and True Choice you produce results and people win.  That sounds good, right?

The main difference is that in False Choice you do not feel fulfilled with your win. You work hard to get a goal, and the thoughts in your mind might be along the lines of:

• ‘Is this important to me?’
• ‘Why aren’t I happier?’
• ‘Is this all there is?’

That is because the choice is based on the expectations of others (family, society, looking good, supposed to, have to, they made me, etc.) The person in false choice often feels exhausted!

In True Choice you also produce results and people win (yah!). What is different is that you are fulfilled and life seems easy and joyful! (double triple quadruple yah!) From this place you take personal responsibility for your choices – you are doing what you want to do. Your choices are not coming from a place of ‘should’. You have no judgement about others. You are proactive and you find solutions. You are a leader of yourself and of others.

That sounds pretty straightforward – but I can hear you asking HOW to do it!

A while ago I realized I’d been living a lot of my life from false choice. I created many wins, but felt exhausted and unfulfilled. Something was missing from my life – I think it was ME!

Like many of us, I often put other people’s needs or wants ahead of my own. The ironic thing is that martyr vibration of giving doesn’t feel good to the receiver or the giver.  I know when my husband does something for me from this kind of place I’m thinking ‘for heavens sake just do what makes you happy!’ I’d much rather be around a happy person. I decided to become the happy person I want other people to be!

False Choice or True Choice is not about the action. It is about the ‘beingness’ or the vibration in back of the action. It is all about feeling good – the vibration. But where a lot of people have problems is that they are not in alignment. Their vibration is not pure or a win/win. It is a mixture of win/lose.

Here’s an example that might help. Say you have a desire to get in better shape and you have started running. The time comes up for your run and you don’t want to go.

• Door #1 You choose to run (win) even though you don’t feel like it (lose)!
• Door #2 You choose not to run (lose) because you don’t feel like it (win)!

Most students of law of attraction understand the win/lose behind Door #1. The reason that Door #2 is a lose/win is because a part of you wants to get in better shape. You feel out of integrity in some part of your mind. You are honoring the part that doesn’t want to run, but not the part that wants to get in shape. That place is feeling bad. Both of these Doors are False Choice!

True Choice would be noticing that something doesn’t feel good and then shifting to a place that does feel good.

So in our example of the run – you can look at your desire to get in shape and your resistance to running at that time. And then start asking yourself some powerful questions while tuning into your answers. Maybe you discover you don’t like running alone, so you ask a friend to join. Now you’re excited to go and you are running (win/win). Maybe you discover you don’t like running but you can get excited about swimming (win/win). There are SO many options!

The key is living from a place of always wanting to do what you are doing.  True Choice will change your life.

Welcome to True Choice – or not.  It’s up to you!

Cheri teaches mothers how to fill themselves up so they have a renewed passion for life and can teach their kids by example how to live a life of fulfillment..  Check out her blog and connect with Cheri on twitter and facebook.

I wrote that many of us don’t “see” the things that serve as manifesting obstacles, like jobs we hate, relationships that aren’t working, or responsibilities we don’t enjoy.  The reason we don’t recognize them as problematic is because we often think these things are unchangeable or we’ve just grown to take them for granted.

(Like the frog who doesn’t jump out of the pot as the heat gradually increases.  We’re just used to it.)

I received emails from grateful folks who were willing to look for – and see – what wasn’t serving them vibrationally in daily life.

And while it seems helpful to point out potential pitfalls, I also wanted to offer solutions here by continuing where the ezine left off.

Not to suggest I know what’s best for you when it comes to changing your work, breaking up with partners or running away from home. 

But I believe there is one thing that can help no matter the situation we’re dealing with.

That is to recognize we have a choice.

We always have a choice.

Once upon a time I hated my job, but I went because of the story I believed about how I should be grateful for it, that bills needed paying, and that the investment in this career shouldn’t be wasted, etc. etc.

And it was misery.

But once I realized (with the help of a coach) that I actually had a choice as to whether I got out of bed and went to work, it wasn’t quite as awful to go.  I could stay home.  That was an option!

That choice would have consequences, surely … but it was an option! 

Believe it or not, that was a new perspective to me.  I could stay home!  I could get a different job.  I could spend my savings.  I could go bankrupt.  I could move back home with folks.  (Okay, maybe not that.)  But I had options!

All of a sudden this option (of going to work) made sense.  (Until it didn’t, and then I quit.)

But it was easier to go to work when I did it out of choice.

And when I didn’t enjoy my marriage …  I’d been raised to believe divorce was not an option; that this was a promise for life.  Grin and bear it.  It’s what we do.

Then one day, I realized I could stay married – or I could be divorced.  (Can you hear the angels singing?!)  CHOICE!  Freedom!

Just having the breathing room of knowing there were alternate possibilities available made it easier to be there.  (Divorce was his idea, not mine, but it was a good one.)

And there was a client who did not enjoy being a parent.  At all.  That was their big toleration in life.  (And that’s not an easy thing to admit, my friends: that you wish you’d never had your kids.) 

They were flabbergasted to hear me suggest they seriously consider their long time fantasy of relinquishing custody to the other parent and pursuing their big dream of travel with a new lover.

As they considered the possibility, guess what happened?  They began to recognize the joys of raising children.  To the point they realized they would not be happy giving it up.  That’s the magic of feeling CHOICE in life.

When you have room to say no, it makes the yes easier to feel.

So when you’re doing the work of following what feels best, be sure to include some options you might not have considered before.  Give yourself freedom to make a true choice, and don’t be surprised if that in itself transforms your experience of old “tolerations.”

(Easy to say for the girl who quit and got divorced, I know, but take it from my client who is now happily raising her children – it helps tremendously to recognize we truly have a choice.)

If any of you have experiences to share about eliminating big tolerations in life, I’d love to hear them!