Whether we asked how come we couldn’t sleep over at Shawn’s house or why did we have to finish homework before Dukes of Hazzard, sometimes the reason we got was: “Because I said so.”

And so it was.  The ultimate authority had spoken!

If your family was anything like mine, that was the end of it.  There was no cajoling or whining or trying to turn the tide in one’s favor.  It was a done deal.  Those four words put a stop to all negotiation.  “Because I said so.”

Maybe we even express that power with our own charges today – whether with our children, employees or partners.

(I said it to Russ just the other night when he asked on behalf of the dogs why they couldn’t go back outside - for the third time.  Helloooo … because I said so!)

I’m thinking this past history might give some of us a nice set-up for using those four words in our favor when it comes to deliberate creation.

After all, this is how -at least in one version that’s told, anyway - how God created the world, right?  He said, “Let there be light,” and there was light.

There’s no doubt that our words are powerful, especially when we say it like we mean it and believe what we say.

I just hung up with someone who said “the reality is the average working person won’t be able to afford medical care as they get older.”

Without going into the details of the law of attraction, I explained I saw things a little differently (okay, a LOT differently); that I believed we each choose the reality we’re creating, and that when we do so consciously we get to paint whatever picture we want of our lives.

(I’m not going to agree with the “powerless” perspective, even to be polite.)

He hesitated as if he had trouble understanding my accent or something, then repeated again that the reality is that retirement is expensive – nursing homes and medical care and fixed incomes and inflation and such – it’s all very expensive stuff that most people won’t be able to afford.  I reiterated my perspective which was a conversation-stopper, but …

.. it made me think of Will Smith’s interview where he said although it seems like two plus two equals four, the truth is that “two plus two’s gonna be what I want it to be.”

• Ridiculous financial abundance?  Yep.  Because I said so.
• Dream come true cake walk of a job?  A-huh.  Because I said so.
• Red hot lover in black leather pants whose greatest wish is to inspire another’s satisfaction?  Yepper skipper.  Because I said so.

(Hey, no judging.  We get to want whatever we want!)

Can you find that ultimate authority within yourself?  Can you connect with that part of you that knows you have final say about everything – that you are the ultimate creator who calls all the shots?

Yeah, I thought so.

How about you use it with Universe?!

Speak with conviction when you proclaim what you’re creating; know that you’re the authority of your life and your words are all-powerful.  Remember that you really do know how to say it like you mean it!

After all, you’re in charge here and Universe is listening.  Didn’t you say so?

Without good vibes we’ve got misaligned energy to the things we desire (since we only want anything because we think it’ll feel good to get it).  When the energy isn’t aligned with what we want, what we want doesn’t happen.

So feeling good is KEY.

The question sometimes arises as to what to do when we have contradictory “feel goods.” 

For example, it feels good to have a quiet weekend at home, but our sister is expecting us to visit for her birthday party.  Or it feels good to sleep in today, but it also feels good to keep the job that requires a 7 a.m. arrival.  Or it feels good to buy a one-person sauna, but it also feels good to keep the money set aside in savings.

How to manage contradictory feel goods? 

It’s an important skill to hone since feeling good is crucial to successful deliberate creation.

Here are the three “R”s for maintaining the “feel good” when contradictions appear:

• Recognize when a limiting belief may be in play (and get over it) 
• Release yourself from the need of someone else’s approval and acceptance 
• Reveal the deeper the desire (explore what you really want)

1. Recognize limiting beliefs: We handicap ourselves with limiting beliefs all the time.  (Oops, there it is again!) 

Question the obstacles that seem to contribute to a compromised feel good.  Do you really have to be at work at 7 am in order to keep the job?  When I realized my body really preferred to wake up with the sun, I asked my boss if I could shift my schedule to come in an hour later.  He appreciated the catalyst to implement flex hours for the entire department!

2. Release the need for approval from others: It’s the challenge of trying to make others happy that often compromises our own “feel good.” 

Once you give up the need for others love and acceptance (which you do by giving it to yourSELF) then it becomes much easier to follow your path of joy without influence or interruption from others.

3. Reveal the true desire: if you dig a little deeper on seemingly contradictory desires, you’ll likely find a commonality, and with that recognition it becomes easier to choose what’s best for you. 

For example, if I want a quiet weekend because I want to relax and rejuvenate, but I also want to help sister celebrate her birthday, maybe I could combine both by inviting her to the spa with me for a relaxing couples massage. 

Regardless of what option we choose, knowing that compromising the “feel good” is NOT an option is what serves our successful manifestations!

For more ideas about how to get past our most common manifesting obstacles, you’re invited to join me Tuesday, the 24th at 12 pm est on a rare Teleseminar Event where I’ll be discussing this very topic.  Dial 724-444-7444 with call ID 39932 and pin 1# to participate in this free event.  (Or listen online at the appropriate time using this link.)

In the meantime, I’d love to hear your tips for resolving conflicting feel goods.  Thanks in advance! 

“Why not me?”

That’s the question I happened to hear in two different client sessions this week. 

One client asked it with an air of hope and optimism; the other with a sense of despair and frustration.

It struck me how the same words, the same question, had such different vibrations associated with it.

Why not ME??

Why NOT me?

hee hee – I  love how this deliberate creation work calls for a willing awareness of the energy flowing amidst all these words.

The “why not ME??” client was focused on how things seemed to be happening for others but not for her.  She felt overlooked and falling behind.  (Until we refocused, of course, which she quickly engaged.)

The “why NOT me?” client could see lots of reasons why things should be and could be coming together for him.  He could have been singing the “future’s so bright, I have to wear shades” song.  His energy felt like it was a no-brainer that success would find him.

So my question to you:

How does your question feel?  Are your words encouraging an empowering feeling within?  Or a limiting one?  Are they positive, or are you headed for trouble with them? 

Pay attention .. and celebrate your ability to fine tune your way through this manifesting process.

Fun stuff, huh?!

But then I decided to change that expectation so I could participate and share link love with fellow bloggers! 

So here are 25 random things about me – LOA style. 

1. First book I ever read that introduced me to the law of attraction was How to Get Everything You Ever Wanted by Adrian Calabrese.

2. First manifesting project: getting a foster dog adopted.

3. That first success freaked me out so much I didn’t play with deliberate creation for an entire year.  (READ everything I could get my hands on about it, but didn’t actually practice it again for quite a while.)

4. Most challenging manifestation: involve animals I love dearly (attachment = resistance).

5. Easiest manifestations: new clients.  (I know that vibe better than the back of my hand!)

6. Manifesting skill I am most proud of: being able to change my story on a dime.  (Dismissing reality!)

7. Favorite topic to coach others on: Money!

8. Most unbelievable manifestations: Sadie returning to life.

9. Favorite deliberate creation resource: Ask and It Is Given.

10. Runner up to my favorite deliberate creation resource: Notes From The Universe

11. Three highest profile clients: hee hee – I can’t say, silly!

12. Favorite client ever: stumped on that one.  I love everyone!

13. A favorite LOA resource many might not recognize: Cesar Millan

14. Favorite old school LOA resources: Neville and Florence Scovel Shinn

15. Next manifesting project: my next mentor/guru.

16. What personal development skill I’m learning to stronger enhance manifesting abilities?  Meditation (fairly new to it)

17. What belief I would most like to opt out of: that duality is a fact of life.

18. What belief I would like to embrace even more: that bodies grow younger with time.

19. Most reliable method for allowing: remembering and reconnecting to (my version of) the big picture.

20. Who had the greatest impact on developing conscious creation skills?  Mentor Coach Jeanna Gabellini

21. If I could do anything, what would it be?  Already doing it – with clients, blog posts, ezines, articles, etc: sharing LOA knowledge!

22. Biggest manifesting handicap?  Still wanting love and approval from others.

23. What did I almost name my coaching practice? Lightworks Coaching

24. What would I have done if not vibration management coaching?  Professional dog walker

25. Who gives me my greatest gift of contrast?  People I am closest to.  Thank you, People. 

Next I’m supposed to tag 25 other bloggers to play this game as well: Melody, Tia, Col, Judy, Lyman, Deb, Ross, Pernille, Kevin, Alain, Vicki, Thauna, Tonya, Ann, Alex, Donncha, Ryan, Kate, Dawn, Stephanie, Zoe, Leslie, Carolyn, Jan, Martha and Shauna. 

And if anyone else wants to be tagged to join the game, leave a comment and I’ll add your link to the post!

My guy was upset for a variety of reasons so we were talking it out.  Among other things, he looked for reassurance that I wouldn’t ever have a physically intimate relationship with my ex again.

“I really don’t see that happening,” I said.  (I know not to say “never,” since that word often involves resistance, and flowing resistance is a fabulous way to invite it in.)  

As I gave serious consideration to Russ’ inquiry and thought about the unlikelihood of a future sexual rendezvous with my ex, I realized that now the two of us were thinking about said rendezvous – and we all know what thoughts lead to. 

Especially thoughts driven by strong emotion!

What popped out next did NOT help: ”Well, I don’t see it happening … unless you keep focusing on it.”

Oh, boy. 

Even if Russ doesn’t completely believe in the law of attraction, he knows I do.  And he did not like where I was going with it.

Which meant I was now in the hot seat for justifying my (theoretical) “bad behavior” on Russ’ vibration.  He was exasperated at the thought that I would have an affair and blame it on him because his fears brought it about.

If he understood energy the way deliberate creators do, he would know that makes perfect sense.  Wouldn’t he?

But his argument got me thinking …

I wondered how many law of attraction-savvy folks let themselves off certain hooks by saying something like “Well, if you weren’t vibrating it, it wouldn’t have happened.”

Like the couple times I’ve been stiffed by clients.  My ego wants to blame them for not following through on promises to pay, while the more rational part of me knows I can’t experience something I’m not vibrationally lined up with.  I’m not a victim of “non-payers.”  Rather, I’m responsible for what happens in my world.  Including not getting paid. 

One of my girlfriends who is familiar with the law of attraction basics has been known to tell family members that she is not responsible for their happiness and well-being.  (She usually reminds them of that after she’s late for Thanksgiving dinner or insulted the intelligence of her sister’s kids.) 

Her family has come to think of the law of attraction as a big excuse for someone to shirk what they are really responsible for.

When I hear about her exchanges, it sounds a little harsh that my friend says and does things she knows upsets her family, and then tells them it’s their own fault for being upset.  She reasons that because they can choose how they feel, why don’t they choose something that feels better than “upset”?

I get the logic, but something about that doesn’t sit quite right.

And yet there I was ready to blame Russ for a potential affair I might have with my best friend.  (Although, it’s not an affair if you’re not married, right?  Anyway …)

All of this has made me question … what are we responsible for?

In sorting this out, my conclusion is yes, we are indeed responsible for what happens in our world.  And we are continually CO-CREATING with others. 

So Russ can’t manifest my steamy hot night with an ex unless I (and my ex) are lined up with that.  I can’t manifest longstanding receivables unless clients are dialed into not paying.  Family members don’t get irreverent daughters showing up late for dinner unless everyone’s flowing a common vibe on it.

It’s the beauty of how Universe syncs up like vibrations. 

When we’re happy, we attract people and circumstances that reinforce that feeling.  When we’re disappointed, we attract the people and circumstances who are capable of reinforcing our disappointment. 

Rather than vibrating me into bed with an ex (ooh, kinky) it’s probably more likely that if I’m vibrating fidelity while my sweetie is vibrating worry about my infidelity, then our dissimilar vibrations wouldn’t allow us to stay in close proximity. 

Either we’d fall away from each other, or one of us is going to learn the other’s vibration.

You know which option I’m going with, right? 

As always, I’d love to hear your thoughts on this topic.  How have you noticed others’ vibrations affecting you?  And where do you place the responsibility for what that leads to?