But law of attraction isn’t for fixing.

Law of attraction can only reflect who you are and what you’re vibrating.

So if your signal says something is “wrong,” like your body, or bank account, or marriage – it can only return more of that.

I’ve done this myself, so I know how easy it is to fall for.

Someone shared recently that she had tried everything under the sun to cure herself of cancer, including the  work of manifesting.   To no avail.

The thing is, when we pick up deliberate creation in order to change something we have resistance to, it won’t – it can’t – turn out how we want.  Because when we strongly don’t want something, Universe can onlydeliver the very thing we’re focused on.

The first “work” of manifesting is to drop any resistance to what is.  Which means making some peace.

When we’re complaining about or scared of something that hasn’t changed, that’s not peace – that’s resistance. 

So, you might ask, what’s the good of manifesting if we can’t use it to change what we don’t like?!

The point is to understand that we create our lives according to what we think and feel.  We can consciously direct our journey when we leverage that understanding and discipline our attention.

But when we use deliberate creation to fix something gone wrong, that belief that something is wrong and needs fixing is the very obstacle to what we want.

When I think cancer is big bad and ugly and I desperately do everything I can think of to get rid of it … can you feel that vibe?  Pretend you’re Universe on the other side of that signal.  What could it send besides more big bad ugly cancer?

When we train our focus on what we wan’t (rather than what we don’t want), that likely includes making peace with the diagnosis, or the breakup, or the bankruptcy – since those things are kind of big to try to ignore. 

Personally, my directed thoughts when something “wrong” is threatening to grab my attention might go something like:

“This is what is right now, and I’m okay with that.  I know it’s not permanent.  Nothing IS!  I know how this works.  I get what I focus on.  What can I pay attention to now that is going right?”

• My friends love me and would do anything they could to help.  That’s kind of cool.
• The sun is shining through the clouds right now in a way that is really beautiful.
• Good Wife is not a re-run!  Yay!
• This soup is just the right temperature.  I love when I get it right.

And then maybe I eventually find some better feeling thoughts on the topic at hand that’s feeling so pressureful.  But it doesn’t have to be right now.  There’s plenty of other things to feel better about here and now.  My dogs are healthy; I’ve got a quiet spot to myself right here; this is a great view of that big tree; etc. etc.

Dropping resistance and training our attention in a way that raises our vibration and improves our alignment is how we allow in magic and miracles. 

Not because we’re fixing something gone wrong, but because we exert our power as creators by directing our attention in a way that allows our preferences to unfold.

The nutshell: when you’re trying to fix something gone wrong, that’s attending to what you don’t want.  That vibration prevents solutions from appearing.

For inspiration in dropping resistance and making peace, check  out  these  posts, but I’d also love to hear from you readers on this as well.

(Not saying we’ve never done that, but we know how ineffective it is!)

It’s the same with creating what we want in life.

We don’t get where we want to be by producing more tension.

The same way tugging and pulling on the ends doesn’t untie a knot, neither does:

• Working harder to get clients for your business when you’re nervous about not getting clients.  Operating from fear or desperation just makes it worse.
• Arguing with a sweetheart when you want a better relationship.  We want things to improve, but raised voices and angry gestures don’t usually facilitate that.
• Beating up your body to get a body you love.  Unreasonably restrictive diets and exhaustive workout sessions just adds tension (i.e. “resistance”).

Your manifesting efforts will be more effective when you translate and implement some of your knot releasing skills.

For example, when I’ve got a knot I look for a key thread that’s keeping things stuck so I can create some slack there.  Sometimes I push the ends IN, even though that might seem contradictory for unraveling the whole thing.  Sometimes I take a break to give my frustration a chance to dissipate.

You can approach deliberate creation the same way you untie tangled up knots.

So how do you untie a knot?  Experiment with applying your process for untangling things to your deliberate creation practice.

It’s also worth remembering the magic of knots … sometimes one little loop released in the right direction unwinds messes miraculously!

(Thanks, Pernille, for guest posting your experience with us about how your phone rang with good news hours after listing what you wanted.)

And much as I’d like to say that’s how I roll, too, those immediate result stories tend to be the exception rather than the rule in my life.

It’s much more typical that my big “wins” creep in gradually – over weeks, months or even years. 

This post is for anyone who’s been frustrated they didn’t get immediate magical results or still haven’t had even a whiff of their happy ending.

What gives when you’ve been making the same list for 4 1/2 years?

For me this isn’t a hypothetical question.  My Intentions Journal dates as far back as October 2005 with the same elusive entry:

• In fall of 2005 it included a “slam-bam-thank-you-ma’am” body
• In December 2005 I intended to gift myself with 2″ smaller hips.
• In May 2006 I wanted to lose 7 pounds.
• In June 2006 I started to get a better handle on the true desire: “feel even better about my body.”
• But in July I was right back to wanting size 6 back.
• August 2006: perfect body
• September 2006: feeling good in my body
• October 2006: reaching my ideal weight
• November 2006: embrace my natural size 6 self
• February 2007: be the girl who loves her body
• March 2007: enjoy my sexy size 6
• October 2007: best shape ever
• By 2008 I was intending fabulous health, getting better every day
• December 2008: lean, strong, toned, flexible & rockin’ was on the list yet again.
• 2009 intentions included “gorgeous, healthy, fit body”
• February 2009: love and appreciate this body 100%

If that doesn’t deserve a couple rounds of “What the hell?!” I don’t know what does. 

After all, I know how this works and I’m a pro at working it. 

I know weight comes from resistant thoughts, and that all I gotta do is drop the resistance wherever I find it.  I know this stuff.  And I practice it!  (I think.)

But here’s what else I know:

1. As long as I think something is wrong or that something should change I am in resistance.  (And what we resist, persists.)
2. Until I make peace with what is, nothing can change.
3. If I don’t love this body as she is right here right now there’s no hope of loving her when she weighs whatever I think would be better.  It’s gotta start right here.  With the scale saying whatever it says.
4. For me to think I know best what this body should do is pretty ridiculous.  She’s way smarter than I am.

And perhaps through her consistency in offering me this lesson, I will finally have to break down and just love and accept her as she is.

In that moment, there will finally be vibrational alignment.  (Not just alignment to size six, or to 15 less pounds, but alignment to love.)

That’s when bodies get healthier and happier and even more smokin’ hot than they already are.

I guess the gift here is that the list didn’t immediately give me what I said I wanted, and in that opportunity I am forced to truly (eventually) learn unconditional love.  For myself.  For my body.

Come to think of it … maybe this list is magic after all.

The same way my crackhead neighbor taught me how to feel better before there was any reason to, my body is teaching me an even deeper skill level.  Love yourself, love your life – no matter what.

I can do that.

In fact, I just flipped ahead in the Intentions Journal to recall what I wrote for January 2010.  Here’s what it said (among other things): love my body, through and through, AS IS, now.

I might be on to something finally, huh? 

Without further ado – here’s how to get more (or better) sex.

(Which also applies for how to get more of whatever you want, be it money, success, a house, better body, etc.  But this is written specifically for the person who wants more sex.)

Here we go:

First of all, my friend, stop noticing the sex you’re not getting.

Stop giving attention to how you wish you had more.

Stop complaining about how little you’re getting and telling the story about how bad your sex life is.

In fact, stop believing you’re not getting as much sex as you want.

Yes, I know you’re justified in thinking and saying and believing what you’ve been thinking, telling and believing.  But that is NOT helping you get more sex.

It’s actually doing the exact opposite.

As you speak (and think) it, so shall it be.

So you’ve got to start appreciating your sex life.

However you can accomplish that.

You’ve got to love the sex you are having.  You’ve got to tell the story about how great your sex life is.  (Especially to your partner!)  You want to be the person who is enjoying all the fabulous sex they want.

Whether you’re remembering or imagining or however you can get to thoughts of appreciation about lots of great sex, that’s what you want to get in mind.

Would you talk different?  Smile more?  How would you behave differently?

However you would be when you’re sexually satisfied, start being that way now.

Whether that’s relaxed, happy, satisfied, content – or whatever it would be for you – start feeling that way and being that person NOW.

If you have a partner, you’ll become more attractive to him/her.  If you don’t yet have a partner, you’ll still be more attractive to him/her – whoever it turns out to be.

And I’m not talking physically attractive – I mean energetically attractive.

Since like attracts like, as you become the person who has a great sex life (even before you have one), you will attract a great sex life.

One of the stories I didn’t tell in my Adventures in Manifesting ebook  - even though it’s chock full of real world examples from my love life – was how my boyfriend noticed my manifesting success in getting foster dogs adopted, to which he responded by promptly using this magical new power to manifest more sex!  (What a quick study he was.)

So having been on the other side of this manifestation, I know how easy and effective it is to work on someone.

The trick (for the one doing the manifesting) is to not get caught up in the “reality” of what is.

Find some way to get your attention on what you want, rather than what is.

• For Pam (not her real name), that means she’s got to stop telling co-workers and friends about her husband’s challenges in the bedroom.  She’s got to appreciate what is working, even if it’s just that he’s great aabout public displays of affection – which she loves.
• For Scott (not his real name), that means he’s got to stop thinking of his wife as a woman who has no interest in sex.  Instead, he’ll want to see her differently – maybe as a woman who is waking up to new heights of sexual desire – with him in particular (that could be an important element to include).  Or whatever story would help make it believable that things are changing romantically.  He’ll also want to start treating her the way he would treat a woman who he is enjoying lots of highly satisfying sexual activity with.
• For Sue and Matt (not their real names), who don’t have any partners in sight and are tired of being celibate, they should know they cannot attract a great love life while upset about not having one.  It just doesn’t work that way.

You’ve got to find a way to feel better now, whether that’s by entertaining rich fantasies, purposefully appreciating the sex you are having, or by getting your mind on something else that is satisfying.  Whatever inspires you to shift the vibe – that’s what you want to engage. 

Change the way you feel now, without expecting your new love life to make you feel better.

And to anyone who feels stymied in getting what they want, it helps tremendously to take the pressure off this thing you want for making you happy.  When you make it out to be a big deal, especially a big deal that you’re not experiencing, it closes the door on it.

You’ve got to find ways to feel better now, even before it gets here – even if it NEVER gets here – in order to allow it in.

I know it’s a funky way to get what you want, but it works.

It’s also worth mentioning, even though I know many of you likely won’t believe me, that it isn’t really more sex you want.  What you really want is how you think having that amazing sex life is going to make you feel.

If anyone cares to share thoughts on the topic, I know it’d be a huge benefit to many who are wondering about all this!

PS – don’t forget to check out www.adventuresinmanifesting.com if you haven’t already.  It’s an inspiring compilation of my personal favorite manifesting stories.  Happy Holidays!

How often does a Law of Attraction Coach get to talk to (one of) the most conservative-minded groups in the state of Utah?

Maybe more often than I realize, but this was a big deal for me.  A room full of LOA virgins – how exciting!

I’m used to addressing folks who have some knowledge or interest in deliberate creation, but today was different - and I wanted it to be perfect: high impact and hugely inspiring.

So I put together a customized powerpoint presentation to guide my talk, and emailed the presentation to the appropriate folks before today’s event. 

They requested I save it in an old version of powerpoint to make sure it worked on the laptop that would be connected to the projector. 

I had told them I was NOT tech savvy and not sure I could make my mac work with their projector, so they supplied the laptop.

They just wanted me to bring the presentation saved on one of those stick thingies.  (Whatever they’re really called.)

My technology vibe isn’t fabulous, so I asked Russ to oversee to make sure everything I did was appropriate.  (Okay, I actually asked him to just do it all for me.)  Everything was a go.  Cute purple stick was all I needed to remember to bring.

As I get word that this is the largest turnout the group has ever had (to hear me speak), I get more nervous than I already was.  (Speaking gigs bring that out in me.) 

Yes, I know .. maybe I’ll change that story some day.  This is not that story.

The email and my growing nervousness got me thinking that I better make sure the technology works, since this is a lot of people.

And I know to manage the vibe … I know to shake off that nervousness about technology failing me, but what did I do?  I took all the actions a not-LOA savvy girl would take to make sure it was working: 

• Double checked to make sure I’d saved the right presentation to the stick, and saved it in multiple versions just to ensure at least one would be compatible with the laptop’s powerpoint version. 
• Emailed a copy of the presentation (now saved three different ways) to my gmail account, in case the stick failed and we had internet access in the room.
• Plugged in the stick to make sure the presentations pulled up okay on the computer. 
• When I accidentally twisted the stick a little bit (what is it called??) by bumping it when it was in the portal hole thingy, I pulled it out, called Russ, who told me to relax, then I just snapped it back together, put it back in and tested to make sure it worked yet again.
• Printed out a copy in case there was something I really did need from it.
• Emailed a second copy to the coordinator to make sure she had a copy available, too.

Overkill, you think?

I did remind myself that even if it didn’t work, all was not lost because I could still give a great presentation without the visual aid.  So there was that energy work included.

But I just wanted to make sure the technology worked fine.  And took all the action I could think of to ensure it.

So I arrive with plenty of time to prep, even if something went wrong.  Which it couldn’t possibly, because I’d covered all my bases (if you can call taking tons of action covering bases). 

Still had that little bit of nervousnes about technology flowing in the background, even though it shouldn’t be because I’d done everything a girl could do.  And I set an intention that there not be any porn that gets opened by accident from the stick.

With everything all set, the presentation pulls up fine from the stick to the laptop.  Yay!  No need for any of the emergency backup measures. 

But then the projector won’t project the presentation.  It projects a beautiful green landscape photo, and it shows an icon of the file in the bottom left corner, but that’s all it’s fessin’ up.

Four geeks and 20 minutes later, I called it and conducted my talk without visual aid. 

I joked about how maybe I should have set a stronger intention than just “please don’t let there be any porn on this stick.”  (Which would have been tricky, since I am not a peruser of porn.)

I did have an intention for fun, inspiration and empowerment for the talk, and all signs indicate that was met nicely.

But when Russ asked whether the powerpoint worked, I told him the very thing I was trying to avoid did indeed happen, even though it wasn’t technically my fault.  Or at least not a result of anything I’d done (or not done).

And my sweet boyfriend who pretends not to be paying any attention to this deliberate creation stuff I’m up to, points out that my vibe overruled my actions – just like happens with the electronic thermostat, the tv, the phone, and I’ll stop there before I make this tech vibe any worse than it already is.

I share this ridiculous story as proof, once again, that it is not the action that matters.  It’s the energy behind the actions.

You’d think an LOA Coach might have a handle on that, huh?

And that’s my cue to go love this about myself. 

While I’m at it, I sure do love you, too!  SO nice to be talking with folks who live this stuff day in and day out, much as I enjoyed the fabulous LOA virgins today.

Thanks for letting me tell you about my day, complete with misadventures in manifesting and all.

Here it is in her words:

Is it possible to be open to more than one outcome and still get what you want?

For example, Kiki is in love with Juan but is trying to allow the Universe to bring back that love or something better .  She really wants Juan but is willing for the Universe to show her Someone Better if he (Juan) is just not on the same wavelength as her.

How does she do it?

I know more than one person in this same situation, so I suspect this is a question many will appreciate being posted (and answered).

What are your thoughts?

“Do you mean it?”

Our first exercise was designed to reveal the energy we each flowed as reflected by the horses. 

Koelle asked us to perform a “join up” after “sending out” the horse to do a couple laps around the pen.  If we were tentative, the horse could tell and wouldn’t respond to our instruction. 

Aggressive energy didn’t fly either. 

We were each learning to find that energy stream of calm confidence in order to get the desired responses.  Which also happens to work extremely well for manifesting anything we want.

Martha Beck says “how we do anything is how we do everything.”  Because of that, we could analyze (and alter) our approach to horses and see how we were handicapping whatever else wasn’t happening in our lives.

Most of the participants were there to figure out how to get a boyfriend, heal their bodies, or grow their business.  I was the only one who said she was there to study energy, but really - that’s what all of us were doing.

Through the work with the instructors -the horses – we learned how we might be scaring off men, or being desperate for clients, or ignoring messages from our bodies. 

Koelle asked we be clear about what we want from the horse (i.e. set a strong intention).  Then to drop any fear or doubt and to lead the horse energetically with a calm, confident expectation.  All the while being aware of the interplay of energy and make adjustments as called for. 

Tentativeness was a sure fire way to fail the exercise.  (And trust me, it’s easy to “walk on eggshells” when you’re not used to being around those big, powerful animals!)

If we were tentative, the horses didn’t buy we were trustworthy leaders, and would either ran rampant or dilly-dally at their own will.  Which led some participants to frustrated or angry energy.  You might guess that didn’t help either. 

(Is Cesar Millan’s work coming to mind for anyone else right now, too?)

Speaking of Whisperers, Koelle displayed an awareness of energy like no one I’ve ever met before – and not just with horses, but with people, too.

She reads energy like the Matrix movie characters do.  It’s like she sees a code the rest of us don’t sense.  Except she was teaching us to sense it as well, through the work with horses.

And this is exactly what we get to do every day in life.  We don’t need horses to show us what we’re flowing energetically.  When we learn to pay attention to the world around us, we see the clues and evidence revealing what our energy is and how it is (or isn’t) helping us achieve our dreams. 

As we develop a stronger sensitivity and awareness to energy, and learn to manage it, there is literally nothing we can’t accomplish!

Which is a concept we’ll cover in my Abundance of Perfect Clients course starting next Wednesday.  You’ll learn to discern the vibration you flow on the topic of clients, and how to shift it in order to allow the results you want – no matter how elusive they may seem now. 

(The good news is this is the first course I’ve offered that can’t fill up!  It’s open to everyone who wants in, so if you’re interested click here and follow the steps to join.  Note: all VIP seats are filled.)

In the meantime, consider this post an invitation for you to look at things from the Universe’s perspective.  In regards to the results you want, do you really mean it?  Or are you kind of wishy-washy, doubtful, unfocused, fearful, or just plain frustrated? 

A clear and assertive calm confidence will help you not just in working with a horse, but also your entire world.  And that I mean.

Here’s one that many folks report fabulous results with.

This money manifesting method is even more successful when you approach it with a light, easy, carefree attitude, so be sure to have fun with it!

(Speaking of light & easy, get more tips on this topic at top 10 ways to manifest money.)

Without further ado, here is the money chant (aka abundance mantra):

Years ago Yoga Journal had a short column on it, which is still taped to my filing cabinet.  It’s a mantra designed to allow more abundance into your world.

Whether it’s more health, wealth, or happiness, you can chant this mantra to the goddess Lakshmi, the Hindu embodiment of good fortune, prosperity, and beauty – 108 times every day for 40 days.

Thomas Ashley-Farrand said he’s heard many amazing success stories of how people’s situations have improved by invoking Lakshmi.  Sometimes the mantra allows just a small stream of abundance to trickle into relationships, health or finances. But other times a flood of good fortune comes very quickly.

Chant the mantra and see what happens.  Here it is:

Om shrim maha lakshmiyei swaha

Phonetically it’s: Om shreem mah-hah lahk-shmee-yay swah-hah

And it means: “Om and salutations to she who manifests every kind of abundance.”

Here’s a slightly strange yet still helpful YouTube video to help with the pronunciation (this one includes “gum” for removing obstacles).

And here is the money chant by Martha Lopez.  (From her site, click on free downloads and then the Lakshmi Mantra. It’s 54 repetitions after 9 oms.)

I don’t know why it works, but it sure seems to.  Even before you get to day 40.  Some people just chant it for 10 minutes rather than count out 108 – but I suspect those in the know would tell you that there’s significance to 108 repetitions.

You may also considering combining this technique with the pray rain journaling process for extra money magic, or dive into my favorite resource for creating financial abundance: Money Mojo Magic!

Have fun with it if you feel inspired to play with it.  And if you’ve got positive experiences to share about this mantra, we’d love to hear them!

Without good vibes we’ve got misaligned energy to the things we desire (since we only want anything because we think it’ll feel good to get it).  When the energy isn’t aligned with what we want, what we want doesn’t happen.

So feeling good is KEY.

The question sometimes arises as to what to do when we have contradictory “feel goods.” 

For example, it feels good to have a quiet weekend at home, but our sister is expecting us to visit for her birthday party.  Or it feels good to sleep in today, but it also feels good to keep the job that requires a 7 a.m. arrival.  Or it feels good to buy a one-person sauna, but it also feels good to keep the money set aside in savings.

How to manage contradictory feel goods? 

It’s an important skill to hone since feeling good is crucial to successful deliberate creation.

Here are the three “R”s for maintaining the “feel good” when contradictions appear:

• Recognize when a limiting belief may be in play (and get over it) 
• Release yourself from the need of someone else’s approval and acceptance 
• Reveal the deeper the desire (explore what you really want)

1. Recognize limiting beliefs: We handicap ourselves with limiting beliefs all the time.  (Oops, there it is again!) 

Question the obstacles that seem to contribute to a compromised feel good.  Do you really have to be at work at 7 am in order to keep the job?  When I realized my body really preferred to wake up with the sun, I asked my boss if I could shift my schedule to come in an hour later.  He appreciated the catalyst to implement flex hours for the entire department!

2. Release the need for approval from others: It’s the challenge of trying to make others happy that often compromises our own “feel good.” 

Once you give up the need for others love and acceptance (which you do by giving it to yourSELF) then it becomes much easier to follow your path of joy without influence or interruption from others.

3. Reveal the true desire: if you dig a little deeper on seemingly contradictory desires, you’ll likely find a commonality, and with that recognition it becomes easier to choose what’s best for you. 

For example, if I want a quiet weekend because I want to relax and rejuvenate, but I also want to help sister celebrate her birthday, maybe I could combine both by inviting her to the spa with me for a relaxing couples massage. 

Regardless of what option we choose, knowing that compromising the “feel good” is NOT an option is what serves our successful manifestations!

For more ideas about how to get past our most common manifesting obstacles, you’re invited to join me Tuesday, the 24th at 12 pm est on a rare Teleseminar Event where I’ll be discussing this very topic.  Dial 724-444-7444 with call ID 39932 and pin 1# to participate in this free event.  (Or listen online at the appropriate time using this link.)

In the meantime, I’d love to hear your tips for resolving conflicting feel goods.  Thanks in advance! 

Many of my clients dream of appearing on Oprah, and since that’s the work we do – make dreams come true – we spend time activating that vibe.  So even though it hasn’t been one of my personal dreams (the thought terrifies me!), I’ve spent a fair amount of time with the Oprah vibe.

Last week when I was invited to possibly participate in Oprah’s upcoming LOA special, I realized their vibe had finally rubbed off on me.  

The only problem being that the thought of appearing on national tv makes me break out in a sweat.  (Literally.  Hands shaking, heart racing, working up a sweat.  Pit of dread in stomach, feeling numb all over.  Who would want this??)  I must add, Oprah is one of my heroes, I admire her greatly, but the thought of speaking even briefly on her show is a frightening one indeed.

As it looked like this opportunity might actually come to fruition, I got more and more stressed out.  (“What would I wear?  What would I say?  What do I do about this zit??”) 

I wouldn’t even let my boyfriend kiss me after we finished closing on our first house together, because he was sick and I didn’t want to have a cold for the Oprah show.  All my spare minutes were spent worrying about how I would handle myself.  I couldn’t sleep for three nights in a row!  (And I’m not pleasant without proper sleep.)

But then they booked the show up and didn’t need me any more.  False alarm!

Hanging up from that phone call gave me my first sense of relief, peace and enjoyment since I had first seriously entertained the thought of appearing on the show.  Even though I had to shake off minor feelings of rejection and disappointment (I think it was others’ disappointment for me that I was feeling – although the rejection was all mine), I reminded myself that I was already enjoying what I most wanted in life – a walk in the woods with my dog, a fire in  my cozy home, sleeping in my own bed, working with my fabulous clients … I had it good.

Less than 24 hours later, Harpo called back to say they still wanted me if I could make it.  They decided to tape two shows and would love for me to share a short little law of attraction success story (based on my pray rain journaling).

And with that phone call all my peace and enjoyment flew out the window again.  I’m right back in worry, although now realizing there’s a huge gift for me here.  This is my chance to practice what I preach – to let ME be in charge of my feelings - not a knee-jerk reaction to outside circumstances (that would under normal circumstances have me in full on panic mode). 

I can enjoy this.  I can have fun here.  I can be myself.  (Thanks, Rick, for that blessing.)

So I’m thanking Universe for the opportunity to stretch myself in new ways and get more comfortable with a bigger audience.   I’ll baby step my way through it and remember that nothing is more important than that I feel good. 

(But part of me still thinks Universe has a wicked sense of humor!)

That’s enough – I gotta go pack!!!