Sometimes the best way to release the “want” (when we’re really kinked) is to say “screw it,” “whatever,” “oh well,” etc.

MissyB wrote in the last post’s comment section that it’s simple, yet hard to do.  @ScientistCoach tweeted last night that: “Sometimes [it] is so difficult to just let go. Any tip?”

And Pernille’s “flipover” method lit you up as a great way to release the desire after claiming it.

So I thought @ScientistCoach’s question deserved a chorus of responses from you Good Vibe Gurus about how best to let go.

I suspect we’ve covered this before, but I couldn’t quickly locate where (although this post is relevant), so here’s a great opportunity to remind how to let go when we really, really want something.

Turning it over to you: what’s worked for you – in real life – to let go and surrender the resistance that often goes hand in hand with strong “wanting” energy?

As in, believing that becoming wealthy is an issue because of the extra taxes incurred.  Or that losing weight is a problem because of the uncomfortable attention garnered from the opposite sex.  (Read the post again if this phenomenon doesn’t sound familiar.)

Now that we have brought those potential party poopers to light, what’s next?

Often, nothing.

Just bringing those contrary thoughts to the light of day can be enough to disappear them.  (Yes, you can “disappear them.”  They’ll evaporate in the light when you usher them out of the dark corners of your mind.)

But, some of the more stubborn stinkers may call for intervention.

If you’ve got a stubborn thought at cross-purposes of your dreams and desires, never fear.  You’re still in charge.  Here’s what to do:

1. Relax.  This isn’t a big deal or a big mystery.  Don’t let anxiety about a contrary thought add to negative energy.  It’s not a big deal, especially when you’re observing it in action!  You are SO in the power seat once you’re seeing clearly what’s happening, so it’s a great time to relax.

2. Get curious.  We know what we resist persists, so we don’t want to engage a “war” against the thoughts that aren’t serving us.  Observe them from a friendly, curious place.  Just noticing what’s up, maybe even being entertained by it.

3. Check references. You know how before you hire a stranger off the street or accept a new tenant into your house you make a phone call or two to check them out?  You can do the same thing with these limiting thoughts – inquire; question; test them out.  Byron Katie’s work is a powerful process for this step.

4. Rethink it.  Once you’ve poked and prodded and looked under the hood of the old contrary thought, it’s easier to find a new, more aligned, perspective.  After you’ve tried on a few alternative thoughts, you’re bound to find one you like better.  Entertaining that thought is going to serve you really well.

That’s how simple it is.  Let’s look at an example:

My realization that somewhere deep down I believe once I’m loaded my sweetie will relate to me differently, as in a huge (read: threatening) shift of power in the relationship is actually kind of interesting.  (That’s me getting curious, rather than judging myself for it or defending the truth of it.  I’m just curious about it.) 

How funny that I would think that!  I wonder where that came from – in fact, maybe it’s time to check references.   Is it true that my beau will be threatened when I’m the primary income earner; when his income is a pittance compared to mine?  (That’s me putting the Work to work.)

You know, now that I think about it, I have to admit, he might be delighted with that situation.  I can imagine he may very well have it in him to be a kept man.  Now that thought I’m having some fun with.  Is there another one I like better? 

Maybe this one: I read recently that women who earn the money tend to think of it as “our” money whereas men not so much.  So if that were the case, me making significantly more than my sweetheart might actually be a huge equilator.  (I made that word up and I like it.) 

That’s nice, but I like that other thought better – the one where Russ is excited to have a girlfriend whose income dwarfs his.  Why not, huh?!

Just like that, I’ve begun to resolve my subconscious “problem” in being rich.

And, this isn’t the only way.  Let’s hear from those of you who have alternative practices for unloading those thoughts that are preventing your total alignment to what you want. 

Who will share?

PS – be sure to read comments for Kim’s excellent addition as step #5!

I didn’t have anything in particular in mind – just thought it was a good overall intention.  Sweat out whatever’s not needed any more.

Sounded like a good plan.  (I still think it was.)

Regular readers who know what a chocolate afficianado I am may be surprised to hear that ever since that sweat I haven’t had a fraction of the desire for chocolate. 

(Instead I bought every kind of fruit possible at the store the next day.  It was slightly ridiculous.)

So I thought perhaps chocolate wasn’t serving, and thus it got released. 

Cool.

Except that I feel like crap.

Not sleeping well, not excited about much (that could be post Money Mojo completion, though), and a low grade irritation running in the background (that could just be because my boyfriend lives with me, though).  he he

(At least my sense of humor is intact.)

Maybe, I thought, chocolate really DOES serve me and I feel like crap because I’m not having any.  But the magnesium supplements should handle that.  And honestly, chocolate just doesn’t sound good any more.  It’s not a conscious denial thing.

Maybe, I thought, I’m detoxing because my body finally got a break from all that sugar.  (I liked this from Christine’s Bad Day post: “When you plant a new seed in the soil, the first thing that comes up is not the new shoot. The first thing that comes up is a little dirt.”)

Or maybe I’m still discouraged about my foster kitty that died last week (even though I keep reminding myself about the four that are thriving).

I don’t know.

I know one thing, though.  Spending this kind of time out of the vortex is serving me. 

It’s like going on a recon mission.

I don’t exactly know what a recon mission is, but this feels like one to me.  Because this venture out of the vortex is what fuels new desires and inspires more growth and leads to even better experiences ahead.

Those kinds of “wins” aren’t fueled on nothing, you know.  New “dreams come true” originate from days like these … these out of the vortex days. 

Because Step 3 doesn’t happen without Step 1 action.

Just a quick summary for those not familiar with Abraham lingo: the vortex is where all your successful manifestations await you.  It’s all ready and assembled, just waiting on you to get on board.  Step 1 is when you ask (i.e. have a new desire), Step 2 is when source energy (aka Universe, God, All That Is, etc.) follows our asking instruction and creates it, and Step 3 is when you let the goods in by lining up vibrationally (i.e. “allowing” it).

It’s during Step 3 that you’re in the vortex to enjoy the fruits of your creations. Step 1 is out of the vortex, where we get ideas for new creations.  In the vortex feels fabulous; out of the vortex no so much.  Got it?  Cool.

This kind of contrast inspires new desires.  As long as I make this venture temporary and don’t get too hung up on it, when I’m done with this Step 1 gig I can move right back into the vortex where life gets even better.

In fact, I just got a glimpse of that “even better” vortex from a client’s note today: 

Yesterday she and I chatted about a nervous anxiety that was creeping into her thoughts about a particular outcome she wanted next month.  We talked about making peace and telling new stories and refocusing on our power to create what we want.  And this morning she sent an enthusiastic update about a powerful turnaround she’s already experiencing that ended with these words: “I’m back, only BETTER!”

Hee hee.

That’s where I’m headed.  And just as fast as she did. 

After I gather up a little more material about what I don’t want and don’t like and don’t what to experience again, I’ll take my new information and brand new desires and head back into the vortex to a party that got even better while I was gone.

Sheesh, I’m feeling better already. 

My point is, we may as well make peace with our “out of the vortex days” because they are what make for really fun parties once we’re done with this recon mission and head back to the vortex party. 

You with me?

(Is that alliteration?)

Whether it’s clever, silly, or just an excuse for a blog post, I thought I’d share the latest one – because if we can keep it simple, it’s easier to employ, right?   Right!

So here goes.  Last week I told a client that deliberate creation was this simple:

First, you Recognize a thought that’s not serving you;

Second, you Release that thought, and

Third, you Redirect toward a new thought that serves you better.

Simple process, and works like magic.

In fact, I’ve probably done it a dozen times already today.  Once when I recognized I was thinking about how mad Russ would be if he knew Verrall was leaving special kitty food on our front porch in early morning hours; later when I thought I’m going to be tired all day because I woke up at five and couldn’t get back to sleep; and  just a few minutes ago when I wondered whether the little female kitty was also fighting off distemper virus.

(Her brother just got released from the hospital this morning after being diagnosed with distemper Saturday afternoon. That’s the quickest recovery we’ve seen/manifested for our foster kitties- YAY!  Thanks, Pray Rain Bloggers for joining me in it!)

Anyway, in each instance I recognized I was holding a thought that would take me to a place I didn’t want to go; I let it go in order to clear the slate for a new thought; then dialed up a new thought that was more aligned to what I wanted.

• With “I’m going to be tired all day now” … I recognized that’s not cool.  A quick mental release of “Mm, not that” cleared the way for “Excited to start a new week; the energy flows great.”
• With the sabotager thought, “Russ will be ticked if he finds out Verrall stopped by,” I released it with, “No, not that” and moved on to, “He doesn’t even know he was here.”  (That was easier to embrace than “He appreciates the help Verrall provides.”  Going with what feels best!)
• With “I wonder if this kitty is fighting a distemper bug,” I skipped the releasing/clearing part and jumped right to, “Give up the drama, Jeannette!  She is FINE!”

And, of course, Russ didn’t know Verrall stopped by this morning (maybe because Verrall didn’t); my energy’s been great all day; and sister kitty is sleeping peacefully in my lap right now.  I’m 100% positive all is well with her!

So next time you’re thinking this manifesting stuff is too complicated, just remember the three Rs: Recognize, Release, Redirect and put them to practice in your life to create yourself a miracle or two.

Last night with a new DVD player connected we finished watching

(Spoiler Alert: skip this post if you don’t want to hear how it ends!)

… we finished watching Randy the Ram self-destruct.  For some reason, that wasn’t one of the endings I’d anticipated!

Earlier that same day I listened to Abraham say they think we enjoy the drama of our lives – of building the tension in order to more thoroughly enjoy the release of resistance.  (“Wheeeeeeeeee” is how we squeal with delight once we let go of our overstretched rubber band.)

I thought of a couple friends who have these habits, whether it’s reaching the brink of financial ruin before pulling off a save, or sabotaging relationship after relationship, or continually manifesting illness in their body. 

Thinking of their drama, I was grateful that I don’t have a habit of resistance in my own life.

And then this morning I did something that got my attention: I put the new retainer in (that the dentist was excited to give me three weeks ago) – I put it back in after breakfast. 

Which was unusual, because even though that’s what I’m supposed to do after every meal, I haven’t done it once yet.  Wearing it during the daytime is a  hassle.  It makes me talk funny, and I’m not one for following the rules anyway.

So when I put it back in for the day, without really purposely intending to, I wondered why.  Then I realized I put it back in because I’ve become accustomed to the tension it provides. 

Accustomed to the tension.

It made me wonder what other tension I might be choosing unconsciously, just because I’ve become so accustomed to it?

Here’s the thing, guys: I don’t think I’m the only one doing this.

Remember the scene from What The Bleep where Candace Pert talks about how we become addicted to our emotions?  Because our emotions have a chemical component that our body cells not only adapt to, but become so used to that the body will actually crave it when it goes without?

Yeah, like addicted to drama.  Or self-destruction.  Or adrenalin.  Or tension.

In looking through other areas of life besides the dental retainer, I realized I’m also used to tension between my ex and my sweetie.  I take it for granted.  I don’t even bother manifesting something different! 

I’m also used to tension when it’s time for foster dogs and cats to go up for adoption.  (Why wouldn’t I let go of THAT?!)  I’m used to tension when I travel.  Sheeh, and that’s just what I found in the first couple seconds of looking!

Imagine if Randy the Ram or his sweetie Cassidy had been able to end old patterns of self destruction and disappointment and were able to instead choose relief and happiness? 

Surely they could have, had they just been more aware of their situation and their power to change it.  And surely we can to.

When we become aware – which we do simply by observing – we can make new choices in support of what we want, rather than what we’re used to.

Here it is almost noon and my retainer’s still in!  Makes me wonder if perhaps I’m ready to give up the tension of being a rule-breaker?  ha! 

Not likely. 

I’m curious to hear whether any of this hits home for you.  Do you see any habits of creating tension in your life?  Are there scenes you find yourself repeating, even though you might choose differently if you were paying better attention?  Are there any life tensions you take for granted? 

Or maybe you have a story of how you DID release old habits of tension to allow more relief into your life?  We’d love to hear from you!

I’m giving up the fight today.  On lots of things:

• I’m giving up my prejudice against processed food.  (Why did I carry that so long?  I know better!) 
• I’m giving up trying to contain this feral foster mom.  (Sweetie, you wanna go – you can go.)
• I’m giving up thinking I know how air travel purchase is supposed to work.  (What do you mean my browser timed out?!  Who do I gotta be – Speedy Gonzalez to get this thing done before you unplug me?!
• I’m giving up telling my body what I think is best.  (I was thinking sleep would be better, but she says awake is the way to go.)

Okay, I get it.

While I’m at it, I’m also gonna give up thinking I know how Russ should deal with his youngest son.  And maybe my attachment to this sweet foster dog, Sydney. 

And giving up being upset about damage to carpets and broken dishwasher doors and screwed up internet service.

Whoa nellie – things are starting to feel better already!

I’m giving up the fight!  Yay!!

Feral mom, Humane Society is waiting for you and they (unlike me) believe you are adoptable.  I’ll take good care of your babies.

Dishwasher repair guy – take your time.  It all works out perfectly.

Crackers and cheese for lunch – I’m gonna eat it either way, why not LOVE IT?!

Body says move now, I get it.  We’ll move.  She says chocolate soy milk – hey, who am I to argue?!  She’s officially running the show from now on.  Can’t wait to see what happens!  (Oh my God, did I just say “see what happens“!?  ha!)

I know I’m due to send out an ezine today and a follow up post on Bridging the Manifesting Gap – we’re waiting till some of this resistance clears, apparently.

‘Cause I’m giving up the fight.  All of them!  Including the one that says you better finish booking your air travel since you only have one leg purchased.   Screw it!  I hate air travel, and Universe and Delta and Southwest all know it!  I can’t fool ‘em! 

I’m giving up the resistance and getting okay with what is.   

And already, just while typing this post, I feel (and see) things coming together. 

• The furniture delivery guy calls to say bookcase is ready and lets me pick the delivery day next week.  Sweet! 
• Michele says stay as long or short as you want on Sunday.  Easy!
• My ex & best friend calls to say “What can I do for you today?”  Oh, let me count the ways! 

Ahh, the relief of giving up the fight! 

All this perseverance and “make it happen no matter what” and be the boss of everything – sheesh, it sucks.

When we feel resistance, rather than taking it as a sign to buckle down and grin & bear it and get’r done – let’s instead take it as a signal to relax and let go. 

Let’s take a deep breath and give it a hug instead of a boxing glove punch. 

Let’s remember that it all works out; that plenty is going right, and not take it all so seriously, huh?

Hee hee.

This post was for me today, but I thought someone else might benefit as well, so here it is.

Namaste.

So it seemed appropriate to have the subject of letting go be our next Q&A post for everyone to weigh in on. 

Here’s the succinct question from Maryann:

“I have really struggled in the past with the “Letting Go” step of the Law of Attraction process. I’m starting to get a handle on surrendering and realizing how much resistance that I had from trying so hard. Do you know of any other resources or any other suggestions that may help with ‘giving up’?”

Another woman writes in:

“I understand how important it is to release attachment to my desire; I just don’t know how to.  How do you do it when it’s something you really really want?”

I’ve got a feeling everyone reading this has felt this challenge, whether related to weight loss, love, money, or the American Idol winner (hee). 

And because we’ve all felt it, I believe everyone reading this has helpful insight to offer Maryann and others struggling with this aspect of manifesting! 

So basically, we know that needing something desperately introduces the kind of resistance that actually keeps it from happening.  Cool, we get that. 

But how do you let go of something that you’ve got your heart set on?

In traditional Q&A style, I’m turning this one over to you all.  Thanks in advance for your wise, humorous and helpful responses!