Forget world peace and planetary health, let’s use our creative power where it really counts: on those thighs!

I get a lot of emailed questions, but I liked this one in particular.

Partly because I’ve been running into a similar obstacle with something I’ve been trying to get rid of lately.

Which is the recurring thought: “What’s wrong with people?!”

I don’t remember where it started – probably a conversation with someone in animal rescue.  (I get tripped up on that subject sometimes.)

And now it’s popping up in all sorts of conversations.  

• Senator Weiner tweets inappropriate photos, or
• Arnold cheats on Maria, or
• my brother tells me about his lawn mower appropriated by his ex-wife, or
• Bachelorette Ashley falls for the jerk …

… and there’s that thought again. 

Which isn’t a surprise, since that’s how law of attraction works.  I held the thought with strong emotion at some point, revisited it a time or two, and now Universe has it on my playlist.  “What’s wrong with people?” 

(not my proudest manifestation)

I don’t like it and I don’t want any more of it.

Kind of like how many of us feel about cellulite, right?

It’s easy to see where I’m going wrong with my “what’s wrong with people” mantra.  Whether we’re battling cellulite or cancer or the IRS or exes with illegally obtained lawn mowers - it’s all the same.

When I resist it, it persists.

I create more cellulite (or other things to dislike about my body) when I loathe it.  And when I push against a thought I don’t want, it replicates like rabbits in my mind.

So does that mean I should embrace my love for all that is wrong with people?  Well, that would be an improvement to what I’ve been doing – which is trying not to think it. 

It’s finally gotten to the point where I burst out laughing when I say it now.  (Which is also a step up the vibrational scale – laughter!)

Because “trying” is no match against law of attraction.

If you want something to be gone, whether it’s cellulite or stupid people – here’s what works better:

• make some peace with it
• and then focus on the opposite (or at least something alternative)

I’m practicing this by not beating myself up when I hear myself repeating my “What’s wrong with people” mantra, and then consciously noticing what’s right with folks.  And there is SO much evidence of that!

If it’s cellulite you want law of attraction to take away - start by stop making it such a problem. 

Soften your thinking about it; let it be a smaller deal.

And then notice what’s RIGHT.  Whith your body, your life, the world, whatever – get your attention on what’s easier to appreciate.

That’s the kind of vibration Universe can deliver you something good with.

Because anytime we do battle with something – whether it’s cellulite or thoughts or drugs or cancer or terrorists or true loves – we lose.  And we deliberate creators know too much to play it that way.

My argument was that when we visualize a better future, we sometimes don’t realize that in that process we’re pushing against “what is.”  Universe hears that signal as “this sucks, but it’ll be better when … ”

Which, we know, Universe can’t make it better for us.   That’s on us to tune into that “better” vibe ourselves first.

Once we do, Universe cues all the good stuff we’ve been looking forward to (like the money, the vitality, the resources, the lovers, the opportunities, the ideas, the rainbows and unicorns and hot dudes with kittens).

I also wrote that getting happy now is easy to do when we recognize that our dream has already come true.

This post is to explore that thought more fully, because it can be a stretch for someone knee-deep in problems.

So how do I know you’re already living your dream come true?

I have a couple answers, but I invite you to find yours, too.

Because you could just as easily argue the opposite (that life sucks).  But trust me, finding reasons to believe life is good right now is much better for your vibe.  So here’s the evidence for proof of your dream come true already:

1) you’re here.

That’s one reason I know your dream has come true.  This opportunity to live this life, to be who we are – it’s already dream come true material.  I don’t know for sure about this, but I sure like it when channelers talk about the long line to get in to the hot party happening here on earth as human beings.  This really is a cool gig!

Notes From the Universe are great reminders of the fact that just by virtue of being here, we are winners.  Sign up if you’re not already getting those.

2) we acclimate to success quickly.

In many instances today’s “what is” is really yesterday’s “dream.”  For example, I am writing this from the comfort of a home office with three dogs underfoot talking with folks about deliberate creation.  Once upon a time that was so far from my reality that it was hard to believe in this possibility.  And now I do it every day!

Jerry Hicks talks about how it wasn’t until he pulled out a bunch of old vision boards from the back of a closet that he realized how many of his dreams came true.  We all have this going on to a certain extent, and we’ll see it when we look.

3) we tend to focus on problems.

Which makes it easy to miss the good stuff.  My boyfriend had a habit of talking about one knee that was a little bit sore after a long day on the golf course.

One knee?  Little bit of pain?  After a whole of day of golfing?

There’s so much going right there that it’s ridiculous to even point it out – and yet, we all do this.  Skipping over the good news to dial on what’s not quite right.  When we change our focus, it’s easier to see that our entire life is one big fat miracle after another.

When you find THAT vibe, Universe drenches you in more good things.

********

So if you didn’t already know it, this is your official invitation to see your present day life as a dream come true.   As long as you feel otherwise, you’re holding at bay lots of cool things, people and experiences.

You’ll know you’re there when you’re feeling appreciation, joy and happiness; like the cool kid on the block.

Because sure enough, you are. 

PS – and if you’re not getting the newsletters, make sure you’re on the list by downloading the free LOA ebook here and then whitelist my email address as an approved sender to be sure emails aren’t getting filtered.  Thank you!

But law of attraction isn’t for fixing.

Law of attraction can only reflect who you are and what you’re vibrating.

So if your signal says something is “wrong,” like your body, or bank account, or marriage – it can only return more of that.

I’ve done this myself, so I know how easy it is to fall for.

Someone shared recently that she had tried everything under the sun to cure herself of cancer, including the  work of manifesting.   To no avail.

The thing is, when we pick up deliberate creation in order to change something we have resistance to, it won’t – it can’t – turn out how we want.  Because when we strongly don’t want something, Universe can onlydeliver the very thing we’re focused on.

The first “work” of manifesting is to drop any resistance to what is.  Which means making some peace.

When we’re complaining about or scared of something that hasn’t changed, that’s not peace – that’s resistance. 

So, you might ask, what’s the good of manifesting if we can’t use it to change what we don’t like?!

The point is to understand that we create our lives according to what we think and feel.  We can consciously direct our journey when we leverage that understanding and discipline our attention.

But when we use deliberate creation to fix something gone wrong, that belief that something is wrong and needs fixing is the very obstacle to what we want.

When I think cancer is big bad and ugly and I desperately do everything I can think of to get rid of it … can you feel that vibe?  Pretend you’re Universe on the other side of that signal.  What could it send besides more big bad ugly cancer?

When we train our focus on what we wan’t (rather than what we don’t want), that likely includes making peace with the diagnosis, or the breakup, or the bankruptcy – since those things are kind of big to try to ignore. 

Personally, my directed thoughts when something “wrong” is threatening to grab my attention might go something like:

“This is what is right now, and I’m okay with that.  I know it’s not permanent.  Nothing IS!  I know how this works.  I get what I focus on.  What can I pay attention to now that is going right?”

• My friends love me and would do anything they could to help.  That’s kind of cool.
• The sun is shining through the clouds right now in a way that is really beautiful.
• Good Wife is not a re-run!  Yay!
• This soup is just the right temperature.  I love when I get it right.

And then maybe I eventually find some better feeling thoughts on the topic at hand that’s feeling so pressureful.  But it doesn’t have to be right now.  There’s plenty of other things to feel better about here and now.  My dogs are healthy; I’ve got a quiet spot to myself right here; this is a great view of that big tree; etc. etc.

Dropping resistance and training our attention in a way that raises our vibration and improves our alignment is how we allow in magic and miracles. 

Not because we’re fixing something gone wrong, but because we exert our power as creators by directing our attention in a way that allows our preferences to unfold.

The nutshell: when you’re trying to fix something gone wrong, that’s attending to what you don’t want.  That vibration prevents solutions from appearing.

For inspiration in dropping resistance and making peace, check  out  these  posts, but I’d also love to hear from you readers on this as well.

… and that allowing is the best way to let in good stuff,

… that we still get anxious at the thought of giving up “hard work” and struggle in favor of doing what feels good?

I continue to be amazed at how many clients request coaching for getting over anxiety at releasing what doesn’t feel good.  Shouldn’t this be easier?

Are we that strongly programmed for struggle?

I can’t say I’m not familiar with that routine, though …

Years ago in corporate world I hated not just my job but my entire life.  Rather than stop doing what I didn’t like I drove myself to a mini-meltdown in the backyard.

That’s what it took for me to let go of what wasn’t working - a mental collapse.

Only then did I honor what my heart and soul screamed for: an end to the work I hated, an end to pretending everything was okay, an end to trying to keep it all together.  I let it all go in one feel swoop as I retreated to the bedroom for good.

When I tell this story, I credit a short scripting session (where you talk about what you want as if it’s already happened) as the trigger for a turnaround, but I underemphasize the importance of doing nothing in bed for four days to allow a transformation.

Giving it all up like sounds extreme, doesn’t it?  It seemed so to me, anyway. 

But relaxing and letting go of resistance doesn’t have to be that dramatic.

If you want to baby step your way there, you can begin by just taking a deeper breath right now.  

Already there’s less resistance.  That’s how easy it is.

You can also loosen your shoulders right now, too.  Soften your eyes.  Unfurrow your brow.  Maybe roll your head gently to relax a stiff neck. 

The body is a great tool to kickstart the releasing of resistance.  (Thank you, Abigail.)

Then perhaps you can let this tension-releasing process start to spill into other areas of life, little by little.

• Maybe by relaxing boundaries.  (So you’re a few minutes late for your lunch date?  It’s be better than showing up stressed and on time.)
• Or maybe it’s to strengthen a boundary with a delicious “no thanks” where a reluctant yes would ordinarily prevail.
• Perhaps it’s to reconsider an old habit.  (So what if all the dirty clothes aren’t in the basket before bed?)

Whatever you’re wound up about, consider loosening up a bit.  Notice what that extra room does for you physically and emotionally.

Contrary to popular opinion, I predict your world will not come crashing to a stupendous halt when you give up the struggle of hard work and that rather the opposite will unfold:

you’ll recognize it not only feels fabulous to release the resistance but also realize how nicely it opens doors for cool things to manifest.

Spouses get sweeter, traffic gets smoother, cashiers are friendlier, great deals pop up, good news is announced, lost items reappear, new job offers come in, surprise money appears, and more smile-inducing things unfold.

So if you find the thought of only doing what feels good too impossible to embrace, start small.  A deep breath, relaxing the body, and very soon the Universe will meet you in the sweet spot you’re headed.

• Success shouldn’t be this hard to come by;
• spouses shouldn’t cheat;
• big companies shouldn’t be allowed to spoil the planet;
• or my own recent favorite: there’s no way I should be wearing size 12 jeans.

Even in deliberate creator circles, it’s not unusual to hear sentiments like these about how things should be different.

The vibrational signal we send with those thoughts instructs Universe to ensure things are not how we want them to be.  Because we’re instructing things should be different than they are.  As in, not how we want it.

Law of attraction dictates that Universe has to match the vibrational quality of our thoughts.  As long as we feel resistance to how things are, it has to give us more of the same.  I know you all know this: Universe isn’t listening for your “yeses” and “nos” – it’s simply answering what you’ve got your attention on.

So if you’re dialed on it, you’re getting it.  Even if the reason you’re dialed on it is because you’re noticing this is not how things are supposed to be.

Which means a powerful creator would send a new signal.  A signal that says things are great and getting better.

…  Or at least not that bad.  Right?

And that means we would do well to start making peace with how things are.

Not just because that’s the only way things can ever change (I know how paradoxical that sounds, but it’s true), but also because it’s more enjoyable to get through the day with acceptance and appreciation rather than resistance and judgment.

So how to do that when the “things should be different” thought is so stubborn?

LOA 101: find a thought that feels better.

Here’s my contribution:

Who in their right mind could possibly think these beautiful butts should be any different than they are?!  They’re works of art!

And almost every one of them is bigger than size 12.

Let the appreciation begin!  :)

(Then I’m done talking about it, because this is not the story I’d like a repeat of.)

Backstory: When you’ve got a lot of animals in the house, it’s crucial to keep up on maintenance if you don’t want it to smell like a farm or a zoo.  (No offense to farms or zoos.)  So if I sound neurotic, it’s only because I have a zillion animals (as my boyrfriend says) and a nice house. 

So when pit bull Joe left a big doo-doo on my favorite rug, I was not happy. 

After all, he’s an adult and he’s supposed to be house-trained!  He’s old enough to know to take advantage of a potty break, and certainly old enough to hold it for an hour until someone gets home! 

Ridiculous!  (In a very wrong way.)

Anyway, it was not easy cleanup, so it felt like time to call in the professional.

Ned at Abacus Cleaners knows the routine well (he’s been my guy for over a decade) and popped over to do his magic on all the carpets and rugs. 

Before 24 hours had passed, Joe did it AGAIN.

He left another doo-doo on the same rug, in the same spot, and just as hard to clean up.  (You fellow dog owners know what I’m talking about, right?)

This shouldn’t even happen once a year, and here it was happening twice in 24 hours?!

I was … not happy, to put it mildly. 

After I fumed about it, I realized Joe practically had to go on the rug again because I was flowing such huge resistance about it.

I mean, pretend you’re Universe and all you hear from Jeannette is “blankety blank poop on the blankety blank rug from blankety blank dog.”  If you’re Universe, you gotta figure out how to get more poop on the rug.

The poor dog didn’t have a chance with the vibe I was flowing: HUGE resistance to poop on my floor.

That was the story I told the client who really really didn’t want to experience another breakup, and the other client who really really didn’t want to have to travel for work (she wants to stay local so she can get a DOG, believe it or not!), and the other one who really really didn’t want to go broke. 

Yeah, let me tell you how that works out … 

… it doesn’t.

The resistance is a magnet for it.

We all know this. I’ve written about it before and probably will again.  Because until we get it figured out, the reminders keep coming.

So our opportunity is to make peace with doo-doo on rugs.  And breakups, and going broke, and jobs that suck.

Not because we give up wanting it to be different, or thinking it could be different – but because as long as we need it to be different it can’t be. 

And all the action in the world I can think of to take cannot override my vibe of resistance. 

But seriously …

Peace with poop?  Really?

Yeah, really.  Unless I want more.

That’s my homework this week.

What’s yours?

Our very own Self Help Goddess shares her recent breakthrough about manifesting love and romance in her life.

It’s a timely topic with Valentine’s Day right around the corner, so here’s Mary on manifesting relationships:

With February 14th approaching, I was thinking about love and romance.  As I contemplated the idea of relationships (I’m not currently in one), this thought occurred to me:

Am I am looking for a relationship right now to reap the benefits of being in a partnership, or to avoid being single?

The question hit me like a ton of bricks!  The distinction is subtle, but important.

When most people think about relationships, they think of spending time with their partner, having someone to share their life with, being able to share their innermost fears and desires with a trusted companion, etc.  And sure, I would love to have all those things!

For me, though, I think that up until now in my life the real motivation to be in a relationship has had less to do with sharing my love for someone and more to do with resisting being alone.

And we all know that “whatever you resist, persists.”

I spend so much time focused on “not being alone” that I actually end up creating the experience I don’t want: that of being alone!  The men I attract into my life are either unappealing to me or unwilling/incapable of commitment, so I just end up feeling alone (the very thing I was trying to avoid in the first place).

I’ve been beating my head against a wall trying to figure out why this has been my experience, but now I can see it’s the result of where I’ve been putting my focus: I’ve been focusing on not being alone versus focusing on the experience I want: a loving, fulfilling relationship!

This got me thinking about how many of us spend time moving away from something we don’t want versus moving towards something we do want.  It can apply to money, weight loss, career success, romance, anything!

In fact, I think it’s just in our DNA to recognize situations we don’t want to be in and avoid them at all costs.  For example, our ancestors had to constantly be on the lookout for wild animals and know how to escape if they were confronted with one in the wild!

But while it may seem like focusing on things you don’t want to create is beneficial because we think it will help us steer clear of them, the law of attraction dictates that we get more of whatever we’re focused on.

Therefore, even if your attention is on avoiding or resisting a particular circumstance, you’ll just end up getting even more of it because you’re still focused on it!

Many people are constantly focused on money and wonder why it’s not appearing more abundantly in their lives.  In essence, they’re trying to avoid the experience of not having enough money.  If you’re focused on the lack of money, however, or on how you don’t have as much as you’d like, then it’s that experience of not having as much as you’d like that gets created over and over again.

In my situation, the constant preoccupation with resisting being alone is just leading to more of the same, being or feeling alone.

So, what to do if this phenomenon resonates with you?

1. Know that whatever you spend the majority of your time focusing on is what gets produced in your life.  Even if you are focused on moving away from something, you are still focused on it!  If you notice your attention is on something you don’t want, shift your thoughts to what you DO want.  You might have to say out loud to yourself, “That’s not what I want!  What I do want is….”  You can literally take control of your thoughts and steer them in a new direction, just as if you were captain of a ship.
2. Try feeling love and compassion for that part of yourself you’re trying to avoid.  In my case, it’s the experience of being alone or single.  Can I just accept that part of myself, and love it exactly as it is?  Can I befriend it and even embrace it?  In the money example, try flowing unconditional love and acceptance to the part of yourself that feels poor or without money.  This helps release the resistance you feel towards a particular situation or circumstance in your life.

By resisting something you are actually keeping your attention on it, which keeps the situation squarely in place.  Whatever you are focused on is what you attract, whether positive or negative.

As you release resistance towards a situation you’ve been avoiding, don’t be surprised if suddenly whatever you were wishing for rushes into your life.  Since you’ve made peace with the situation and aren’t spending all your time giving it attention, you’ll begin focusing on actually having the thing you desire in your life.

Once that happens, it’s only a matter of time before you manifest your dreams and desires right before your eyes!

Mary is known online as the Self Help Goddess because she loves finding, reading, and reviewing the best self help books and products on the market to help others create their ideal lives.  Visit her at www.selfhelpgoddess.com or on Twitter as @SelfHelpGoddess.

Nice observation and insight, Self Help Goddess!  Thanks for sharing it with us here!

Sometimes the best way to release the “want” (when we’re really kinked) is to say “screw it,” “whatever,” “oh well,” etc.

MissyB wrote in the last post’s comment section that it’s simple, yet hard to do.  @ScientistCoach tweeted last night that: “Sometimes [it] is so difficult to just let go. Any tip?”

And Pernille’s “flipover” method lit you up as a great way to release the desire after claiming it.

So I thought @ScientistCoach’s question deserved a chorus of responses from you Good Vibe Gurus about how best to let go.

I suspect we’ve covered this before, but I couldn’t quickly locate where (although this post is relevant), so here’s a great opportunity to remind how to let go when we really, really want something.

Turning it over to you: what’s worked for you – in real life – to let go and surrender the resistance that often goes hand in hand with strong “wanting” energy?

(She and a neurology specialist determined that an extra 20 pounds pressured nerves that were damaged in an old car accident, causing tremors and other unpleasant side effects.)

This was not good news as far as Joe was concerned.  This guy practically lives to eat. 

He loves food like few dogs I’ve met.  (And I’ve met some food-loving dogs!)

Joe could care less about a dog walk, doesn’t need to play with other dogs, and while he loves a good belly rub – his true passion is food.  All kinds of food; he’s not picky.  (Actually, I can relate.)

For my ex who thought the doggy diet was funny, I said, “It would be like you having to give up smoking.”  How about a little empathy, huh?

And when Russ laughed at the diagnosis, I said, “It would be like you having to give up golf.”  Thus the somberness of the situation settled in.

So with the vet’s strict orders to drop 20 pounds pronto, we’ve followed the feeding instructions for two and a half weeks.  That’s meant half portions and no table scraps whatsoever.  (Except when Russ isn’t looking, and then maybe just a spoon lick or two.  But still, it’s a BIG improvement!)

Today we drove to the vet’s office to weigh in for positive reinforcement from the scale for our extreme efforts.  At his last visit he was 81 pounds.  I thought after nearly three weeks of half portions he’d be in the 70 something range.

Not so.

This guy actually put on weight with this restrictive diet.  Unbelievable!

So this afternoon Joe comes in the office to tell me he’s hungry.  “No,” I said with my most calm assertive voice.  “It’s too early to eat.  You have to wait.”

Apparently I was convincing.  Joe collapsed into a desperate heap on the floor to wait it out.  He acted like he was being maliciously maltreated.

Which is when I realized I’d trained Joe to believe in scarcity of food. 

And his body was likely responding to that scarcity by going into “starvation mode,” saving up calories that were “obviously” needed for a rainy day.  This is probably a survival tactic, passed on by generations of successful forebears, to preserve precious calories in times of famine.

What’s embarrassing is this is the very thing I point out to my money clients: if we believe in lack and scarcity of money, we get clingy and desperate with our money.  Which signals Universe that we don’t have much; thus we unwittingly turn off our own money faucet. 

If we’re taking score, this weight loss situation with Joe might look like: Resistance – 1, Allowing – 0.

I gotta fix this!  (Ha - even more resistance about resistance!)

So you know what just happened here, right?  Joe just enjoyed a full dish of his favorite food, topped off to the brim, with no supervision from me and no sharing with the other dogs.  (They couldn’t hone in if they tried – he’s become much more protective of food since the diet started.)

That was a lot of food.  (Maybe now we can drop some weight around here, huh?)

How about you?  Are you playing the game of expecting something to get better by employing scarcity?  I’d love to hear if so, since I’m feeling a bit foolish now. 

Also thinking I could have written this post about how to not let someone else’s authority override your own!  (Written with all the love in the world to my well-meaning, well-educated, brilliant vets.) 

Last night with a new DVD player connected we finished watching

(Spoiler Alert: skip this post if you don’t want to hear how it ends!)

… we finished watching Randy the Ram self-destruct.  For some reason, that wasn’t one of the endings I’d anticipated!

Earlier that same day I listened to Abraham say they think we enjoy the drama of our lives – of building the tension in order to more thoroughly enjoy the release of resistance.  (“Wheeeeeeeeee” is how we squeal with delight once we let go of our overstretched rubber band.)

I thought of a couple friends who have these habits, whether it’s reaching the brink of financial ruin before pulling off a save, or sabotaging relationship after relationship, or continually manifesting illness in their body. 

Thinking of their drama, I was grateful that I don’t have a habit of resistance in my own life.

And then this morning I did something that got my attention: I put the new retainer in (that the dentist was excited to give me three weeks ago) – I put it back in after breakfast. 

Which was unusual, because even though that’s what I’m supposed to do after every meal, I haven’t done it once yet.  Wearing it during the daytime is a  hassle.  It makes me talk funny, and I’m not one for following the rules anyway.

So when I put it back in for the day, without really purposely intending to, I wondered why.  Then I realized I put it back in because I’ve become accustomed to the tension it provides. 

Accustomed to the tension.

It made me wonder what other tension I might be choosing unconsciously, just because I’ve become so accustomed to it?

Here’s the thing, guys: I don’t think I’m the only one doing this.

Remember the scene from What The Bleep where Candace Pert talks about how we become addicted to our emotions?  Because our emotions have a chemical component that our body cells not only adapt to, but become so used to that the body will actually crave it when it goes without?

Yeah, like addicted to drama.  Or self-destruction.  Or adrenalin.  Or tension.

In looking through other areas of life besides the dental retainer, I realized I’m also used to tension between my ex and my sweetie.  I take it for granted.  I don’t even bother manifesting something different! 

I’m also used to tension when it’s time for foster dogs and cats to go up for adoption.  (Why wouldn’t I let go of THAT?!)  I’m used to tension when I travel.  Sheeh, and that’s just what I found in the first couple seconds of looking!

Imagine if Randy the Ram or his sweetie Cassidy had been able to end old patterns of self destruction and disappointment and were able to instead choose relief and happiness? 

Surely they could have, had they just been more aware of their situation and their power to change it.  And surely we can to.

When we become aware – which we do simply by observing – we can make new choices in support of what we want, rather than what we’re used to.

Here it is almost noon and my retainer’s still in!  Makes me wonder if perhaps I’m ready to give up the tension of being a rule-breaker?  ha! 

Not likely. 

I’m curious to hear whether any of this hits home for you.  Do you see any habits of creating tension in your life?  Are there scenes you find yourself repeating, even though you might choose differently if you were paying better attention?  Are there any life tensions you take for granted? 

Or maybe you have a story of how you DID release old habits of tension to allow more relief into your life?  We’d love to hear from you!