The Attachment Quiz

August 7, 2014 | 28 Comments »

The Attachment QuizConscious creators know that attachment to an outcome or result is a guaranteed way to slow the roll of that manifestation.

That’s why we get so much input about letting go of attachment.

Because some manifestors aren’t sure whether they’re experiencing attachment or not.

It’s easy to fool ourselves in thinking we’re clean and clear when really ‘need’ is running full force in the background.

And since it can kink the alignment, it’s good to shake yourself free of it.

Turns out there’s an easy way to tell whether we’re attached to results or not.

Just answer this simple yes or no question:

Are you fine either way?

Meaning, if your desire manifests or not, are you good no matter what? Can you be happy and at peace no matter how things turn out?

  • If yes, you’re free of attachment.
  • If no, you’re flowing it. (The stronger the no, the more attachment is present.)

Here’s an example of what that looks like in real life:

In You Are the Placebo Joe Dispenza tells the story of a woman who worked for several years to reprogram herself to be free of a disease she’d had since a teenager. She made some progress, but felt foiled when a urine test indicated presence of the disease.

She picked herself off the floor, resumed her reprogramming work, and went in for another test a couple months later.

In her words: “I peed in a cup, handed the nurse the bag, and walked out … I let go of the result – entirely. I was okay, deep down inside, with either outcome. It enabled me to forget about it entirely, because I wasn’t expecting anything. I felt happy, in fact, obsessively grateful. I stopped analyzing and just trusted.”

Two weeks later her results came in totally normal, for the first time in her life.

That’s what it looks like to be unattached to results.

Let’s be clear …

… dropping attachment doesn’t mean you stop having desires. (You can want something without having to have it. And that is a sweet spot to manifest from.)

You can have preferences without depending on them for your well-being. Being free of attachment doesn’t mean you don’t have any dreams or desires. It just means you’re fine either way.

And that you know how to enjoy life no matter what. That’s what it means to be liberated from external circumstances for how you feel.

And when you live from that place, you’re a magnet for more good things to unfold.

PS – we’re reviewing You Are the Placebo at this month’s LOA Book Club at GVU. You’re invited to join us if you feel so inspired!

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28 Responses to “ The Attachment Quiz ”

  1. Namaste says:

    Jeannette,

    I think this is the best attachment test I’ve found. And I love the story you used to illustrate the point, thank you for posting =)

    The question I use to move past attachment is, “Why is it possible for me to be happy without ever having this?”

    Sometimes it takes a while to figure it out, but the answer ALWAYS feels amazing once I’ve found it (like a weight lifted off my shoulders).

    Namaste

  2. What a beautiful way to start moving towards that attachment-free place, Namaste!

    That’s a power question I’ll be putting to good use. Thanks for it!! 🙂

  3. Sharne says:

    The only desire I seem to have each morning is to feel happy, loved, supported just as everything is. Yes this is separate from dreams they are part of my creative expansion of self but to depend on them to be happy has taken up enough of my joyful moments!! Love Sharne 🙂

  4. Crystal says:

    OHHHHH!!! This is so good!

    Yes. Thank you for the reminder!

    I just let myself and the whole wide world off the hook… again. 😉

    Here’s to freely flowing energy, loving life and surfing everything always.

    Have an outstanding week-end!

  5. That’s a lovely intention for Universe to play with, Sharne. 🙂

    And Crystal, I can feel the power of that releasing! HUGE!! (Gave me goosebumps.)

    Yay for us! 🙂

  6. Sara says:

    I read this post yesterday when it arrived in my email and have been thinking about it ever since. There is a specific outcome I am definitely attached to–I am NOT OK with it not happening for a lot of reasons. I get this concept of letting go, yet I am also challenged with what feels to me like conflicting “instructions.” Abe says “Life is supposed to feel good” and I feel really good when I think about and believe in this outcome, and really awful when I even consider it not occurring. I feel that flowing positive energy like “This is absolutely happening in divine timing” adds to the creation of it, while flowing what I consider to be negative energy (this may never happen and that’s ok with me) stops the creation process. The words would also be a lie because it’s not ok. Any suggestions?

  7. I like the power of your instruction that “this is absolutely happening,” Sara.

    And there’s a way to flow that certainty without having your happiness depend on that outcome, know what I mean? Like, yes, this is happening – and life is good right now in the meantime, and it’ll be good no matter what. I can be CERTAIN without DEPENDING on it as part of my well being.

    Am I saying that in a way that makes sense?

    Some people might find it easier to just loosen their grip on it altogether – and we know the power of doing that. That’s seriously how most of us manifest all our stuff – we don’t care too much about it. That’s why so many manifesters wonder why they’re so good at creating the “small” things and not so good at creating the things that feel like a bigger deal.

    This attachment quiz question helped me reconnect with the fabulousness of my life right now as is. Sometimes that’s easy to miss when we’ve got our eyes set on the new dream or desire. But when I remember that whether my dream unfolds or not, I’m still a winner, because there’s so much to appreciate about my life, then I am an easier match for good things to unfold. So it’s not like I’m talking myself out of the desire – I’m just reminding myself that my happiness isn’t contingent on it.

    Hope that helps. 🙂

  8. Namaste says:

    Sara,

    When I’m experiencing what Abraham calls “pure desire” when I think of what I want, I do not use a non-attachment tool. In all other cases, I use a non-attachment tool.

    What is pure desire? Pure desire is a sign of non-resistance. One of my favorite Abraham quotes is…

    When people ask us how long does it take for something to manifest, we say, “It takes as long as it takes you to release the resistance.”

    Abraham-Hicks Cleveland, OH — 7/11/00

    Why is non-resistance important? Non-resistance means that you don’t have any reasons, why you wouldn’t want your desire to manifest, so the Universe delivers your desire to you.

    How do you know if you’re experiencing pure desire or not? Ask yourself these two questions…

    #1 Why wouldn’t I want my desire to show up?

    If nothing comes to mind, move to next question. If something comes to mind, you need to find a solution to it. The Universe will NOT deliver something to you that you want, but don’t want too. Makes sense right? Imagine going to a restaurant and saying to the waiter, “I want the fruit plate but I don’t want the fruit plate.” The waiter wouldn’t know whether to bring it or not, so he’d ask, “You need to tell me if you want it or not.” Since the Universe can’t ask you that question, it simply waits until you no longer have any reasons why you don’t want your desire to show up.

    #2 What if my desire doesn’t show up?

    If you are experiencing “pure desire” your mind will reject the question, and you won’t experience any tension. Your mind simply won’t be interested in the question. It won’t dwell on it or be concerned about it. Think to a time when you were really in love. If you asked yourself, “What if I’m not in love?” your mind would reject it. It wouldn’t be interested in the question. And your mind certainly wouldn’t find itself thinking, “What if I’m not in love?” It would know you’re in love and that’s that. However if your mind doesn’t reject the question, if you find yourself feeling slightly worried that your desire won’t manifest, that’s a sure sign you have resistance to your desire and you have some work to do. And I’d start by asking myself this question, “Why is it possible for me to be happy without having this?” Not the easiest question to answer, especially when you’re attached, but trust me that you will find your answers. And when you do, combined with dealing with the reasons why you wouldn’t want your desire to manifest, it will then manifest =)

    In closing, if you’d like to hear Abraham talk about pure desire, and how you know if you’re experiencing it, check out this this short youtube clip https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2_9zEB2Oz-k

    Namaste

  9. Good point about the “pure desire,” Namaste!

    And I love that reminder from Abe (“When people ask us how long does it take for something to manifest, we say, ‘It takes as long as it takes you to release the resistance.'”)

    Thanks for those enlightening questions, too. Those are so insightful to play with!!

  10. Cynthia says:

    Hi,
    I keep reading this over and over as I am in the middle of something very important that is just not a “desire”.

    Yes I desire it completely, there is not doubts associated with whether I want it or not. It’s just that I feel I’m not getting anywhere.

    Briefly, I am in the middle of a serious lawsuit, I am the plaintiff and have done everything myself up to this point as I cant seem to find an attorney to take this type of case on ( either that or because the defendant is an international environmental attorney and they don’t want to get involved for business reasons).

    Am trying to let the universe do its magic but there is something inside ( old conditioning ) telling me I have to be very proactive now.

    Typically I try and do everything myself, as if I don’t no one will. But I REALLY need a Plaintiff’s trial attorney to take over at this point and not sure what else to do.

    Giving up is not an option.

    Part of me knows that I made my intention, asked for guidance, been keeping open to any signs and still nothing.

    When there are deadline and that type of pressure.
    I keep hearing in my head to just keep going, don’t give up, but am afraid I will be ending up being my own attorney at a jury trial.

    While the words of Just Keep Going and Don’t Give Up are great, I need a live human to appear and take this over at this late date.

    What do you suggest or can you see what I’m doing wrong ? I’m open to anything.

    Thank you

  11. Namaste says:

    Cynthia,

    I’ll share a quick story to illustrate what I suspect is going on..

    Years ago I was working with a guy who had a network marketing business. If you aren’t familiar with network marketing, you build a sales force, that sells a company’s products. The company then pays you a commission on every sale made by anyone in your sales organization. If you build a big sales organization you can make a lot of money.

    Andy (not his real name) loved network marketing. He loved the products he represented. He loved the mission of his company. The guy was in total alignment with every thing about his business, except he couldn’t seem to find even one other person to join his sales organization. And he’d tried every technique under the sun, for years, nothing seemed to work for him.

    I asked him, “Why wouldn’t you want anyone to join your sales organization?” He’d never thought of this before, he’d simply been focused on finding people to join. He thought about it and said to me, “The only reason I can think of is because I don’t feel like I can help the person be successful in this business because I’m not having any success myself.” I told him, “The Universe is NOT going to deliver people to you, to sell your products, if you don’t believe you can help them succeed. Makes sense right?” He thought about it and agreed. He sat down with a company trainer, and they devised a training program that he felt confident would help people he signed up be successful, and signed up his first new salesperson two weeks later.

    In my opinion, the reason the Universe isn’t delivering a Plaintiff’s trial attorney to you is because there is some reason why you don’t want that to happen. If that sounds nuts, trust me, I understand but I’ve found this to be true time and time and time again. Get out a piece of paper, or open a new document on your computer and at the top write, “Why wouldn’t I want a Plaintiff’s trial attorney to work with me on this case?” Write down anything and everything that comes to mind. Don’t judge, just write. You might get all your reasons down in one sitting, it might take a week or so to feel like you’ve got it all down. You’ll know you’ve got all your reasons down because you’ll feel complete, you’ll feel empty. Then you need to deal with the reasons why you don’t want a Plaintiff’s trial attorney to work with you on this case. Until you do that, the Universe is NOT going to deliver a Plaintiff’s trial attorney to you. Why? It won’t bring you something that you have reasons why you do not want.

    What if you can’t think of a single reason? Then your Plaintiff’s attorney is already on her way to you, the only reason she hasn’t shown up yet is because you’re looking around all the time noticing she isn’t there. If your dominant focus is on her not being there, that’s what you manifest, her not being there.

    Namaste

  12. jen says:

    Put your desire in the pool (or the hot tub, or the bathtub.) If it floats, you’re not attached. If it sinks, let it float! (If it floats off into the clouds, you’re in great shape.)

    Thought experiment, of course, don’t do this with a live pony…

  13. Cynthia says:

    Hi,

    Thank you for helping me get a better understanding and applying it to my situation.
    The ONLY thing I can think of is I don’t want the attorney to take all of the settlement.
    But on the other hand there might not be a settlement without the attorney so I hope that isn’t what is holding me back

    I want justice more than anything, not just for myself but for the other they did this to.

    You may have hit the nail on the head with “looking around all the time noticing she/he isn’t there”.

    Will work on this one immediately.

    Thank you so much

  14. Namaste says:

    Cynthia,

    Maybe you can come up with a settlement split that you feel is fair right now? If that’s the only thing holding things back, after you figure out a fair deal in your mind, an attorney will show up who will agree to your settlement terms.

    As to the second option, the only way I know to not think about something, that I really really want, is to make peace with not having it. Otherwise my mind will constantly be drawn to the fact that I don’t have what I want, which will keep creating it not being in my possession. The way I do that is by asking myself a question like, “Why is not having x perfect?” Or “What opportunity do I have by this not showing up, that serves me better than if it showed up?”

    Thanks for letting me know what I wrote was of value to you,

    Namaste

  15. Cynthia says:

    Hi,

    Being a Libra x 6 ( ha-ha ) I came up with a number I felt was fair and well documented awhile back. They on the other hand came back with an insulting amount and threatened if I didn’t accept it they would be seeking their attorney fees, which didn’t scare me at all after what they have already done.

    Re: “Making peace with not having it” isn’t that like a mind set of I’m going to lose and /or being left all on my own with no support ?

  16. Cynthia, anything that feels better to you IS in support of your alignment. So if being proactive helps you feel relief or positive expectation, it’s a step in the right direction.

    Releasing attachment to our desire doesn’t mean we don’t actively engage it. It just means our happiness and well being isn’t conditional on receiving it. We can still have a blast in the process of working with it – in fact, that’d be a tough vibration to beat!
    🙂
    (And as a conscious creator in the middle of a lawsuit of her own, I can tell you that the intention to have a super fun lawsuit is serving me well.)

    PS – just read your later comment. “Making peace with not having it” is a helpful way of releasing attachment that’s flowing. It’s not that we’re giving up on the desire, or setting ourselves up for the opposite of what we want. It’s just that we’re choosing peace or joy regardless of what unfolds.

    Example: I had a girlfriend who was overweight to the point of being obese. She very badly wanted to drop weight, and had never been successful with it. She couldn’t imagine ever being happy at her current weight.

    But it wasn’t her weight that kept her from happiness – it was her resistance to it. I asked her what if she remained this weight her whole life, wouldn’t she want to find a way to be okay with it instead of hating herself indefinitely? While she was initially mortified at the thought that her weight would never change, the fact was that it had only increased over the past decade, so what if she never did drop it? She eventually decided she’d rather be happy than unhappy.

    And she started going out with friends again. And dating again. And concentrating on her career instead of her weight. I don’t know what her current weight is but I do know she enjoyed life a lot more as a person who stopped worrying about her weight. And that was the whole reason she wanted to drop weight anyway – to enjoy life more.

    Kind of cool how that works, huh?

  17. I’ll second Namaste’s suggestion about the power of revealing any counter-intentions or payoffs that might be in place!

    Fabulous post, Namaste. Thanks for it. 🙂

  18. PS – Jen, thanks for the laugh.

    (And the excellent tip!) 🙂

  19. Cynthia says:

    Hello,

    Thank you All for your responses.

    Today while trying to get more referrals to specific type of attorneys, I realized a feeling that came over me when a name was given and also what my first reaction was.

    Before speaking with them I immediately Googled their name looking for any ratings and complaints.

    The first attorney I originally hired was awful to say the least so I fired him, then proceeded to find out how many professional misconduct complaints and cases he had against him.

    So now when I am referred to someone I immediately get a feeling of fear that this will happen all over again.

    Sure enough as ‘subconsciously’ expected, with this new referral today, I found repeated bad ratings and complaints. And an AVVO rating of 0 for an attorney with supposed 25 years experience !

    A strong feeling of Mis-Trust of All attorneys is very prevalent.
    ( I know most people feel this way anyways, but not typical for me as I always give everyone a chance no matter their profession )

    Will start working on a feeling of knowing that the Universe is watching out for me and that the perfect attorney for me Will show up or that I will be guided directly to them on time. And that they are just as passionate about doing the right thing as I am.

    Jeannette, I feel for you to be going through similar but glad that you are having fun with it. I would love to have fun with this too 🙂

    p.s. I am still daily getting very clear signs to not give up and to keep going, which feels good 🙂

    Thank you again for everything.

  20. jen says:

    Cynthia,

    I’ve been playing with this idea of a Cosmic Virtual Assistant (for when I’m too lazy to do the Cosmic Ordering myself. And yeah, that happens. 🙂 ) And for when what you want is more complicated than “red Mercedes convertible.”

    I think of my CVA as a bright young cosmic being who is eager to please, has boundless energy, loves the challenge of finding impossible stuff and is enjoying the foo out of playing on the “imaginal world” side of the time/space immersive multiplayer cosmic game. (And who loves helping me enjoy the foo out of playing on the physical side!)

    So if I wanted a lawyer, I’d set up some criteria like:
    – the intellect and trustworthy vibe of Neil DeGrasse Tyson
    – the sharp wit and pointed articulateness of Rachel Maddow
    – the street smarts, knowledge of all the legal/barely legal angles, and sense of loyalty to the client of Saul from “Breaking Bad”

    And then I would turn it over to my CVA. And then I would trust that my CVA would bring me this person, and I wouldn’t worry about it anymore. Why worry? That’s why I have staff!

    (Oh yeah, staff: you can have more than one CVA. Lots more. Like, want a new favorite pair of shorts? Fire up a Personal Shopper. The answer may come as a quick impulse to search particular words, stop in a store you just happen to be passing, a conversation with a friend you usually don’t talk clothes with, etc. You’ll know.) (My new favorite shorts? Also my husband’s favorite-on-me shorts. Bonus.)

    HTH. And have fun with it!

    (Note: as I was thinking about this, didn’t a story come on the radio about a computer version? http://www.wired.com/2014/08/viv/ )

  21. Cynthia says:

    Hi Jen,

    Thank you for this. I had completely forgotten about that.
    When under tight time restriction it’s harder for me relax, so have focused on stating my intentions, having faith, then continuing to put one foot in front of the other doing what comes to mind or whatever I can.

    Have already asked all my guardian angles, to take all of that energy and help that they tried to give me in the past that didn’t get through to me, and use it now on this.

    Will definitely have another chat with my GA’s and VA’s, and all their friends.

    Thank you for the reminder 🙂

  22. Cynthia says:

    Ha-ha, just had another mini chat with them ( GA’s and VA’s) and looked at the clock.
    11:11. Them letting me know they heard me or what 🙂

  23. Ken says:

    Just a question about this attachment stuff. Is it possible that the idea is to feel at peace and in joy even though I have this dream and it is important to me? Peace and joy and love are something we should feel anyway, right? At the very least, we should feel better and not suffer and that’s something we can have regardless. Is that kind of the idea?

  24. Namaste says:

    Ken,

    You got it. The whole point is to feel peace and joy even though your dream hasn’t manifested yet.

    The only way I was ever able to do this, was to remove the resistance I had to the dream, so that I KNEW that my dream would manifest. The Universe will not give you a desire that you want but don’t want at the same time.

    The way I removed my resistance to my desire is by asking myself, “Why wouldn’t I want this desire to show up in my life?” I wrote down everything that came to mind and then found solutions to them. Afterwards my desire manifested, as all desires do, once you remove your resistance to them.

    For example, when I wanted to manifest the woman of my dreams, I realized one of the reasons I wouldn’t want that to happen is because I didn’t want someone bugging me about my work schedule. In the past my former girlfriends always complained that I worked too much. I hated that. I realized that the Universe wouldn’t deliver her to me, if I expected her to complain about my work schedule. It took a few weeks but I realized that the solution was to request the Universe to bring me another workaholic. As soon as I came up with that realization, I felt a huge weight lift off my shoulders, I felt good, resistance was removed. I found solutions to the rest of my reasons and in a short time, the woman of my dreams showed up (for that period of my life).

    Try that question out, see what comes up for you =)

  25. Couldn’t have said it better, Ken. That sums it up nicely!!

    Thanks, Namaste, for elaborating on how to practice it so eloquently.
    🙂

  26. Ken says:

    I want to suggest something that might explain all this “attachment” and “non-attachment” stuff. First of all there’s nothing wrong with desire. Desire seems to beget creation. I think the hang-up (at least in my case) is about fundamentally not believing that what we desire can happen. That’s not “attachment”. That’s fear, and that can be based on a lot of usually wrong (as in not workable or sound or helpful) ideas about life, the Universe, God, etc. That’s what needs to be resolved. Once we know that our desire is a reality (before we actually see it), release, which is what I think we’re really talking about here, becomes easy. It’s hard to “need” or “want” something when you know you already have it and you’re just going along in joyful expectation until it shows up, which by the way it must because of the Law. If that is our definition of “detachment” then I get it. I get this from Ernest Holmes who founded the Science of Mind (and wrote a good bit about the Law of Attraction, Mental Equivalents, etc), and interestingly from the words of Scripture where Jesus says “believe you have received them, and you shall have them”. No equivocating here. Just thought I’d pass this along. Hope it helps. It’s sure helping me.

  27. Cynthia says:

    Hi Everyone,
    Recently I posted here in this thread as I was in a serious situation that had been going on for a very long time and was at the critical point. It was a Get This Right or Else time where I had to use everything inside me that I have always known, and make it work. Thank you for helping me really get it clear and Jen for reminding me to talk with my GAs and SGs, or as you call them CVAs, and ask them for help. There was a huge gathering of GAs and we talked about everything I needed, then I did my best to take my hands off of it.
    Update:
    I really listened to what I was being told intuitively and did it even when my first response would have been “no that wont work, why bother”. I was guided to 2 attorneys, even though one was leaning toward taking my case, I still continued to pursue the 2nd one at the same time. The first one ended up giving my paperwork back, so I thought ok I still have the 2nd one. Once I got ok with that, a week later I received a phone call out of the blue from the 1st one ( and actually the best one anyone could ask for) who decided to take it on. Being very well aware of how my energy can push things away ( I’m really good at that ) while at his office and having already signed part of the agreement, all of a sudden he reads some of the case paperwork and say ” this is a game changer I don’t know if I can take this on”. I had an out of body experience and thought “I give up”. Walked out and headed home. Before I got home he called 3 times and said if I can get some more info for him he will reconsider. I pulled an all nighter getting that for him which he was suppose to go over last Monday.
    He didn’t have a chance until today even though deadline are now or never.
    This has been a very intense week to say the least, when all outward appearance didn’t look good, I kept talking to myself and hearing your comments as well, reminding that I don’t need to know the how, and kept checking in to see how I felt about it. Oddly I felt really calm, and still kept getting signs of Don’t Give Hope, it didn’t matter so much anymore. I kind of gave up but was SO calm about it. I thought it will work out the way it is supposed to.
    Sure enough as of today, I have retained the best attorney possible with all the attributes I asked for. Even down to the percentage I told my SGs and GAs I wanted even though cases like this are always higher. That was a sign itself that it was my SGs and GAs who really listed and then did the work.
    So just finished a BIG Happy Dance with all my GAs and SGs and sending a BIG Thank You to all of you here who took the time to help me.
    Thank You Thank You Thank You 🙂

  28. Namaste says:

    Cynthia,

    Glad everything is working out, thanks for the update =)

    Namaste

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