The Worst Mother’s Love Affair (Guest Post)
Enjoy today’s guest post from The Worst Mother:
I have been having an affair for some time now.
With the Universe.
Don’t worry, my husband, Thurston Howell the Fourth, knows all about it. In fact, he’s totally fine with it. He understands and accepts that there’s no fighting a love like this!
Don’t get me wrong. I love my husband a lot. He’s the absolute best man for me on the whole planet. There’s just one thing.
He’s only human.
Still, my Thurston brought sexy back long before Justin Timberlake. And you can surely see why, right? Is he not absolutely adorable? Incidentally, that scar on his cheek is from the time he saved me from a giant 420-pound coconut crab (a.k.a. Birgus latro), the largest anthropod in the world. (Actually, Thurston doesn’t smoke, but I think the cigarette makes him look exactly like the Marlboro Man. Smokin’ hot, don’t you think?)
Did I just digress or what? It happens every time I talk about my little scarface. So, let’s get back to my love affair with the Universe, shall we? ‘Cause that thing is B-I-G!
Don’t laugh but I once wrote the Universe a love letter. I’ll share it with you. It’s kinda embarrassing but, who cares?
And guess what? The Universe wrote me back! By email. I am not sh!ttin’ you. This is the email:
A Note from the Universe
Reply |The Universe to theworstmother
show details Oct 5
TWM, I can’t even remember the last time I was this excited for you over all that you’re on the verge of doing, being, and having.
Just sayin’ –
ps: actually, there was that one time, just before this very life began….!
I was in shock. This is a snapshot of me (taken by the Universe) at the very moment I read the note:
I was so excited. I was on the verge of something. Something big. And the Universe has known about this all along?
Even before I got here?
doo doo doo doo, doo doo doo doo
That’s some crazy sh!t, Batman.
And then I had this ultra cool thought:
The Universe Has My Back
Yup, the Universe has my back every second of every minute of every day. In fact, I came to realize that I didn’t have to know EVERYTHING (what a relief!). And–I came to trust that the Universe always alwaysknows what it is doing. After all, something that big must know what it’s doing, right?
So now, when I have a problem I can’t figure out, I just hand it over to the Universe to take care of. It’s like having a virtual assistant.
No matter how many problems I present it with, the Universe listens patiently, without judgment, while holding a great big space (pun intended) for me to dump the contents of my endless mind poop.
Now that’s what I call having excellent listening skills.
And then, after I get everything off my chest, I just wait around.
But in a good way. I do stuff I enjoy. I don’t worry…. as much.
And without fail the Universe sends me The Answer.
Sometimes when I least expect it.
Just like that, The Answer pops into my head. When I’m not thinking.
It’s not always the answer I would have predicted, or expected. Sometimes it’s downright bizarre. Other times I don’t like the answer. One time, the answer was simply “Yes“. That’s it. So, I said, “yes”. And it worked! (ps: I always know it’s the right answer because I feel it in my gut).
And that is why I am in mad love with the Universe. It always knows what’s best for me.
Even when Especially when I don’t.
Hey, if you want to get notes from the Universe, go here.
And remember, the Universe is all mine.
But we can share.
**Note back to Universe: Thanks for sending Thurston to me. He is the love of my life.
Lin Eleoff is an attorney, writer, and the face behind The Worst Mother.