Q&A: Use LOA to Stop Neighbor’s Bad Behavior?

August 26, 2015 | 80 Comments »

Using Law of Attraction on Neighbor's Bad BehaviorThe question of the week seems to be how to use law of attraction to change a neighbor’s bad behavior.

Two readers have barking dogs next door that are driving them crazy, and another reader reports noisy and inconsiderate neighbor behavior.

All want to know how to use law of attraction to get someone else to change.

I’ve been there, so I know how easy it is to get caught in this downward spiral.

What words of wisdom do you have for someone who wants to use their manifesting powers to change bad neighbor behavior?

(I personally think the answer’s the same whether we’re talking about neighboring dogs or humans, which is why I rolled all these questions into one Q&A post.)

Thanks in advance for sharing your two cents!

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80 Responses to “ Q&A: Use LOA to Stop Neighbor’s Bad Behavior? ”

  1. Jeannette says:

    What you see is what you get, so if you don’t like what you’re seeing “out there” change starts with you “in here.” Meaning, start practicing what you prefer, in your mind’s eye.

    Try and distract yourself from the conditions you don’t want, and give more attention to what you do want. However you can accomplish that.

    I used mantras and sticky notes to train myself away from the vibes that didn’t work and onto the ones that did.

    My neighbor issues included drugs, theft, death threats, police and the entire neighborhood up in arms, so I know the contrast of living next to what you don’t want. And if I can do it, anyone can:

    http://goodvibeblog.com/leaving-reality-behind/

    • Elle says:

      Thank you so much for posting this Jeannette! It is ever so helpful! What quite a story you got there! I need to keep reading that one.

      I am sandwiched between two bad situations with multiple dogs and it has been a rough ride. Now I know better what I do want and the fact that the neighborhood in which you live does count, like my sisters mentioned to me but my parents disagree with, but they, too, have bad neighbors. I never knew this before until recently. I’ll practice the helpful advice fellow LOAers mention here.

    • Sandeep says:

      Hello Jeannette,

      What a coincidence that brings me here after a brief pause because things were busy on my side! Still, being busy should not be an excuse for sharing time with friends we care for.

      Since this early morning, my mind has been engrossed with my same ultra-rich, pestering neighbor who is re-constructing his house, thereby giving me and my parents all the stressful noise. So the LoA has brought me here to your blog post about pestering neighbors.

      I have only read your post and replying to it. My first reaction was that of sadness when I learned that my dear angel friend Jeannette also had a similar, may be worse, experience. Oh no! That happened to my good friend Jeannette also! I never though these things could happened in the USA where the laws are strict, concepts of equality, liberty and justice prevail, and people show respect for neighbors. But may be, when I traveled to the USA, I had visualized the society as a tourist whereas living a real life would show the hidden truths. Anyway, I still admire the USA and its friendly citizens, and I wish that my next birth be in Florida before I take moksha i.e. liberation.

      After my experience, I am suggesting a few possible solutions that could help my peace-loving friends to keep the noisy, pestering neighbors at bay. First thing would be to call the 911 and inform the Police. Since pestering neighbors do not change their selfish, noisy, polluting habits, it would be be best to take the help of Department of Environment or Environment Protection Authority. There are silence zones, and EPA can penalize the offenders for disturbing peace in community. They can bring a dB (decibels) measuring device too. Then there are various civic agencies, such as local municipality that issues building permit, traffic police that can tow away vehicles of construction companies parked in NO Parking zones, Office of Mayor that can again issue summon to the offender for disrupting chaos and spreading unhygienic conditions. Then there is the Office of Human Rights that protects our Constitutional Right to Life – to live peacefully, happily, healthily. If the pestering neighbor is an incorrigible menace, then move to the Judicial Court of Justice. Remember, this is democratic age, not autocracy when the kings and despots used to enslave humans and torture them ruthlessly. In my city, I tried everything, except the Court.

      My prayers to God are still in process. I also know, that the present state is because of our past actions – even from past births. Even I have learned and reformed. So I am more forgiving now and first request the offender with compassion and love. If these fail, then authorities are there to help, and we must seek their assistance in restoring peace, happiness, and well-being.

      Excuse me Jeannette! I need to pause here because I have been too verbose. May be I have compensated for being absent for a month or so from your posts.

      Cheers and love

      Sandeep

  2. Jen C. says:

    I had to laugh when I saw your email about this topic. My last neighbor had a dog that would continually bark, and it drove my husband nuts, both because he loves animals and wanted the dog cared for and hated the noise we got with houses so close together here, but the dog would bark all the time the neighbor was out of the house. Anyhow, I kept making peace with it and encouraged him to do so as well. We did not talk about it even while it was happening, and although our sleep was interrupted at times, I figured out that I have three kids and so I am a really light sleeper anyhow, kind of like having a kid! I just kept reminding myself that it was temporary

  3. Jen C. says:

    and they soon moved!!

  4. Namaste says:

    Hi,

    When I moved to Los Angeles the neighbors behind me had a really annoying dog that barked constantly. I work from home so it was a constant annoyance. The more I noticed it, the worse it got. Basically, I drove myself nuts until I figured out the obvious. I was giving attention to the problem and creating more of it. I realized the only way to stop paying attention was to stop hearing the barking. Problem was the earplugs I had didn’t do any good. I went online and did some research. Finally, after looking forever I decided on $6 earplugs from http://www.earplugsonline.com. They claimed to be the best on the market. I was skeptical but they proved true to their claim. The minute I put them in, I couldn’t hear the barking. I began wearing them daily. Within a few weeks the dog barking stopped completely! In the past six months, I haven’t heard the dog even once. Talk about bliss =) Stopping all attention to the problem really did cause it go away =)

    • Elle says:

      Wow, Namaste, thanks for this. I’ve had it out with the neighbor many times. The behavior stops in the beginning, but then falls back to where it was before. It pisses me off because there is no respect for others; they just do what they please and are as noisy as hell, yet we are the quietest ones on the block.

      You are saying to ignore it and it will eventually disappear. It is worth a try. Thank you!

      • Namaste says:

        Elle,

        Thanks for letting me know what I wrote helps. I know I already said this but the key was having those ear plugs always handy. I’d hear the barking and immediately put them in. That’s what allowed me to stop being annoyed and ignore effectively =)

    • Jeannette says:

      That’s a creative solution to distract yourself from the problem, Namaste! Thanks for the link, too.

      I have in the past asked neighbors if I could walk their dogs, which is a win all around, if you ask me. (My dogs get a new friend, I get a new friend, the dog gets to get out, etc.)

      Here’s to redirecting attention, however we can accomplish that. 🙂

      • Sandeep says:

        Only Angel Jeannette can do so practically; most of us would moan about it, honestly.

      • Namaste says:

        Jeannette,

        Wow, that’s a really cool idea =) It didn’t occur to me that the dog might be barking because he isn’t getting taken out. Thanks for the tip on that =)

  5. Jesann says:

    I used to have a reputation as the noise police in the buildings I lived in. When I moved in, I made sure the building policy was to be quiet — I didn’t move into noisy places and try to make them quiet — but almost invariably we’d get a new neighbor who blasted stereos, etc. Finally, a few years ago, I realized that I probably wasn’t the only person to be annoyed — I was just the quickest to try to do something about it. I thought maybe other neighbors were waiting for me to do something. So I stopped. I told myself that if I were getting annoyed, others probably were, too. I’d also ask the universe to solve the issue somehow. I still run across annoying situations (and in some cases the solution has been me leaving), but on the whole noisy situations solve themselves a lot faster now.

    • Jeannette says:

      Yay for your self-awareness, Jesann! I love asking higher power to intervene and resolve. Sometimes that in itself does just the trick!

    • Sandeep says:

      Me too; I called my neighbors and asked them to tell the pestering neighbor to stop the noise. As you said, they also told me that I am here and so they don’t have to worry about the issue.

  6. One of the fastest ways I’ve found to shift these kinds of seemingly impossible out-of-my-control situations is to just give in to it:

    >> Fall back into the noise (or whatever it may be) and really let it wash over.

    >> Let the annoyance rise up and move through.

    In a theoretical situation, like writing about it, this isn’t going to make much sense.

    But, in application, I’ve found great relief from barking dogs, screaming neighbors (not in actual pain or danger, just accustomed to screaming everything as a way of communicating), and snow (yes! snow! on a mountain pass! with slightly balding tires sliding all over the highway!) by just letting it happen and sinking into the experience by dropping any resistance to it.

    • Elle says:

      This does sound helpful. Like a wave washing over you and then receding. After a while, it does not bother you. I get this and earlier actually went out to clean with the other dog barking on the other side and it did not bother me at all. so, this is totally possible. I think I am just bothered by the disrespect of others, because I am quiet, why can’t they be?

    • Jeannette says:

      That’s a skill of a master, my friend! Sophie Mihalko just did a call at GVU today on a subject somewhat related to this. Very cool to practice! 🙂

    • Sandeep says:

      That’s true; but we cannot meditate in a noisy marketplace; we live in a home because we love peace; we want to have a sound sleep without noise; because of noise, we get stress, insomnia, and high BP; then we go to doctor for treatment; why not treat the noise giver?

    • Anonymous says:

      How does one “drop the resistance” and “sink into” a situation without paying attention to it? It’s not really ignoring the problem; hard to do that on a snowy mountain pass! More like not acknowledging that there is a problem?

      • The way I do it is to really let my reaction come up and stop pushing against it.

        The problem is not in the paying attention to the problem. The problem is in the resistance to the problem. And there is a difference.

        If you can let yourself have your reaction, it will change.

        And, yes, on a snowy mountain pass, sliding around the freeway between massive trucks, it can be hard, but if it’s the only option, it can work. That’s not a venue I would recommend for giving this a try in, but it was one that happened to me and where I was quite shocked to notice how, as I let myself be really afraid, that the fear passed and I began to trust the car and gravity and the trucks. And I’m here to talk about it, so that’s something.

        Also, I did mention that thinking about this approach is going to probably not make much sense. However, putting it into practice, right as it’s happening, could actually work. At that point, when you’re right with the intensity of the vibration, the last thing you would want to do is offer resistance to the intensity.

        If you let yourself have the intensity, it will evolve into something else that does actually feel better and it’s quite possible the circumstances will, in fact, change.

        But doing this to get something to change will always be problematic. Doing this to feel better will work.

        • Anonymous says:

          Love! Aligning with the vibration of a preferred condition puts the ball in your court in very personal way. You are deciding to choose something else, you are not trying to change another’s behaviour. So liberating. So brilliant!

        • Elle says:

          Would you guys please further explain this one? Let us take the stuff the one neighbor puts on our porch ledge as an example I can work with to make it more practical. You are saying to let all the anger out, and one day we won’t see the stuff there? My focus is on making things and neighbors disappear. I wonder, also, how you guys would feel about this (if someone puts things on your ledge) and please share your feelings about it so I have more to work with. Be nice, as I am still learning this stuff. Do not just pin it on me. I obviously would like to release this in some way, but need some help. Hence the posing of the question in the first place.

        • Elle — I can’t directly reply to you, so I’m posting it here in the hope you will see it.

          You are saying to let all the anger out, and one day we won’t see the stuff there? My focus is on making things and neighbors disappear.

          No, I’m specifically not saying that. What I’m saying is that if you let yourself feel the anger (which is different than expressing it, by the way), as it arises, then you will feel better. I have no idea what will happen in terms of stuff there or stuff not there, but I’m suggesting you will feel better, which is what this is all about.

          Do not just pin it on me.

          That may be a bit of a problem. This is all about you. If that doesn’t feel like a liberating thought, then you might want to ignore everything I’m suggesting and focus in on what only feels better.

          But it is all about you.

          In the same way that my issues with the screaming neighbors was all about me. Once I got that I had a choice about how to feel, I began to not notice them as much and then, not long after, they either had moved or had stopped screaming at each other. I never found out which.

          This is also what was so powerful in the snow. Once I realized that I could simply feel the fear and stop trying to not be afraid, everything changed. First the change happened in me. Then I began to notice that the car was not skidding as much as before. Then I noticed that the trucks were going more slowly and keeping more of a distance. I think this example is so powerful because there was literally nothing I could do and yet everything worked out much better than I thought it would.

          Hence the posing of the question in the first place.

          And this has been a fabulous question!!

        • Elle says:

          Dearest Frank,

          Thank you for this wonderful, powerful, yet soothing explanation. I know it is about me. But that is all I keep hearing. What is need is tools to go about it and work it and solve it. That is what I meant by that. I feel the finger gets pointed but more needs to be said about how to deal and resolve. It is teaching after all. And all the stories are so excellent, I am trying to incorporate them to my life for this example that has me falling out of the airplane.

          This has happened in the past with these neighbors and there was a great lull in between, until I got sick and noticed it again. So, now I will concentrate on my gig again. I keep thinking it could be a lot worse, so at least these are minor nuances.

        • Elle — I’ll just leave you with one last thought:

          So, now I will concentrate on my gig again. I keep thinking it could be a lot worse, so at least these are minor nuances.

          That sounds to me like a step in the right direction. One step that feels just a little better than where you have been. And then there’s another. And another. Until you find yourself in the place you want to be.

          Oh, and, I’m not a teacher. I’m more of a reminder. But there are some amazing teachers who have posted here. Jeannette, of course. And Janette. And Chip. And Namaste. Those are just the ones that I know. And you, of course. You’re teaching all of us and everyone who reads this. So, thank you!

  7. Steph G. says:

    A few years ago, I had a terrible problem with a neighbor who had 8 dogs that barked day and night and fought until they bled. When I complained to the HOA and animal control, things really got bad. This went on for months. Finally, since nothing else was working, I began to include the neighbors in my prayer during my daily backyard labyrinth walk. I specifically prayed that the neighbor would be blessed with wonderful housing accommodations that would be more suitable for their family situation. Then, I began to say hello each time I saw her and even smiled at her. My neighbor was so confused by my actions. It left her speechless! A short time thereafter, they moved. I was so excited to know that I had created a positive change in this way.

    • Namaste says:

      I love the adding them into your prayer part =)

    • Elle says:

      Love it!

    • Jeannette says:

      Steph, that’s exactly what they say on The Secret, isn’t it? That if we’re different vibrations, one will zig while the other zags. That’s actually what I expected to happen in my own situation. I was so surprised when he decided to zig with me. 🙂

      I also wanted to add how magical it is to shift the vibration by sending love to the other. I know lots of success stories of “impossible” situations involve that element.

  8. Really good answers! I have that problem as a matter of fact right now in the apartment complex I am in. So many natives from Sudan and north Africa have moved in who apparently have a culture were yelling is the preferred means of communication with their children. All day all evening they are out the door screaming at one kid or another.

    It was an easy solution for me, I wanted a better neighborhood and I deserved it and I got it, we begin moving to a quitter neighborhood ina duplex instead of a complex. 🙂 Older neighborhood no children. Home sweet home.

    • Elle says:

      Amen!

    • Jeannette says:

      Russ asked me at the peak of my crazy neighbor issue why I didn’t just move – but I suspected that I’d just take my crazy neighbor vibe with me and manifest a new one in a new neighborhood, because I’d done such a good job of practicing it for so long. (Not consciously, obviously.)

      I can definitely see, though, how taking an action to resolve it would go a long ways toward creating a new and improved expectation.

      Thanks for chiming in, Dr. Ian! 🙂

      • Yes, it came available with a huge garage, so the 200 bucks I had been spending on a separate wood shop cannow go to the rent in a better neighborhood and the total cost of the duplex is still the same as the place I am moving out of the first of the month. Very happy joy joy!

  9. Kari says:

    My neighbor was causing me a lot of problems and, of course, the more I focused on it the more problems she caused.

    One day I decided to stop giving all my attention to her. I moved my office to a room where I couldn’t hear her. I stopped looking out the window to see what she was doing. I pretty much stopped acknowledging that she was alive – and I stopped noticing her.

    Not long after that, she stopped coming out at the same time I did. I stopped hearing her. She stopped all her crazy attempts to drive me insane. And ever since then my reality with her has been pretty good. She’s left us alone.

    So, in my opinion, it’s not about focusing on changing the neighbor, but rather changing the relationship you have with the neighbor. In my case, I put my thoughts on making her disappear (as much as a neighbor can), and it worked!

  10. Stacey says:

    The part about distraction is so true.

    I have neighbors who had dogs who barked quite a bit.

    Recently, an idea came to me to create a product to help train dogs who engage in the unconscious bad habit of excessive barking– called ChatterBarX.

    After reading this, I guess annoyed neighbors can buy a ChatterBarX for themselves (and shake it up) to distract themselves from unwanted dog barking.

    Also, love Steph G.’s including the dog owners in prayer.

    • Jeannette says:

      Yeah, I’ve found dogs respond really well to exercise and time with their pack/socialization, too. I’d go a little crazy, myself, if I was stuck in a yard or house all day without proper interaction, attention or exercise.

      I love the idea of focusing on distracting the person who is annoyed, Stacey! 🙂

  11. Lisa says:

    I had a neighbor I was feuding with over a shared landscape bed (long unnecessary story) and after a heated exchange they put a life-size cut out figure of a matronly looking woman with wiry hair and her hands on her hips with a judgmental look on her face in his basement patio window facing my home office. No one else could see it but me so I had to assume there was a message there. I named her Matilda, my muse and had lovely chats with her daily throughout the winter. She became part of my morning ritual and a touchstone for me each day. When they took her down, I truly missed her.

  12. Monica says:

    Great article, and I must say that picture is priceless!! 🙂 LOL

  13. Janette says:

    When hubby and I first bought our current house, our neighbours were young adults sharing. They were a mix of students and apprentices, lovely kids, but they LOVED to sit in their backyard drinking beer and solving the problems of the world in loud voices, all night long.

    Some nights I’d wake at 4am and they’d STILL be going. I used to get so irritated – especially because I did NOT want to be the crotchety old lady next door who complains all the time. They were harmless and well-meaning and I’d BEEN one of those kids. I could talk meaning-of-life, fuelled by cheap wine, all night long back in the day.

    I tried making peace with it. I tried appreciating them. Usually smiling through clenched teeth…. and not surprisingly, nothing changed.

    One night as I climbed back into bed, I wondered what exactly it was that made them so irritating. And I realised that it was the story I had, that they were ruining my peace.

    I was irritated because they were being inconsiderate (a story, and none of my business). I was irritated because their noise would keep me awake (a story, because clearly I’d been successfully sleeping despite them). I was anxious that they’d keep my husband awake (definitely a story – he was right there in bed snoring his head off).

    Suddenly I realised what was irritating me was all the stories I’d been making up about what the noise meant. I remembered that Victor Frankl found it possible to be inspired and find meaning in the hellhole of a concentration camp. I recognised that this irritation was around something I was lucky to be experiencing (if I’d been homeless, noisy neighbours would be the least of my worries).

    In that moment, I finally found the way to make peace. I climbed back into bed with a big smile on my face. I listened for the voices and felt something close to affection for these inconsiderate, unruly young adults.

    A week later, I noticed a car with a trailer backing into their driveway. Someone loaded a mattress into it. I wondered if perhaps they were making room for a new bed. Over the next few hours various items got loaded into that trailer. I didn’t jump to any conclusions, but kept my vibration in simple curiosity.

    But when they loaded up the fridge, I knew they were moving out.

    Sure enough, by the next day the house was empty. We’ve had three lots of rental neighbours since then, and each time they’ve been quieter and quieter.

    I think I have this figured out now. Woohoo!!

    AND – it took some firm decisions to find that appreciation and making peace with what-is in those first few months. It also required me to do that without an agenda, in order to make something happen.

    Practice, practice, practice.

    🙂

    • Elle says:

      Janette, how can it be a “story” if they really are being inconsiderate? I mean, you are quiet and respectful, why can’t they be, is my question. I am really trying to figure and work this out. How can you make peace with being disrespected? It is like being a doormat, which no spiritual practice supports. If this is not so, please clarify. If they kept out of your way and were friendly enough, fine, but placing stuff on the ledge on your side of the porch and sweeping stuff onto it is sheer disrespect (this is my case). I guess I can look at it as, well, smoke isn’t being blown in my face, I can breathe, so it is okay, let them fill up the ledge with pots and sweep stuff onto the porch. Am I on the right track? So, does one continue to ignore this?

      What is the line between being a doormat and simply ignoring them is what I need to clarify. If anyone can help with this, it would be a great.

      • To me, this bit at the end of Janette’s comments is the answer to your question:

        AND – it took some firm decisions to find that appreciation and making peace with what-is in those first few months. It also required me to do that without an agenda, in order to make something happen.

        In my own mind, I think of this as consciously choosing. I’m making the choice. There’s nothing of being a doormat in that.

        Unless you enjoy the possibility of physical altercations, you do have the ability to decide, in your own mind, what something means.

        simply ignoring them

        That’s a phrase you used, which is not what Janette, or really anyone here, is describing. If it were simple, Jeannette would not have written a blog post about it. Obviously, you have this topic wrapped around some sort of axle and it may take a bit of persistence on your part to change your mind. I think that’s what Janette means with her final line about practice.

        Of course, as I mentioned in my own comment, you can always just completely fall back, which in my own experience is the fastest way through. And while I wouldn’t call it mastery, over time and with experience it becomes more clearly the most expedient way after years of beating my head against various walls.

        There is one other option, which is what my ghost friends do during sessions whenever there is a siren or, as in a call today, a whole lot of fowl language (chickens and roosters next door to a client in Ecuador started making the most amazing racket!): simply say that it is perfect. In one instance in a live workshop at a yoga studio right next door to the volunteer fire department, that little town had an awful lot of fire calls during a 3-hour workshop. Each time the fire alarm would be sounded, Paul would say, “Listen! This is important!” In other words, take your physical situation and make it mean what you want it to. Like: “the dogs are barking out their alignment and when they do, I get a chance to remember who I really am!” It’s wacky, but it does work.

    • Jeannette says:

      This is such a good point, Janette:

      “… it took some firm decisions to find that appreciation and making peace with what-is in those first few months. It also required me to do that without an agenda, in order to make something happen.”

      It isn’t necessarily something that happens overnight. And doing it in order to make something change isn’t how we get there. Thank you so much for sharing your story with us, Janette! 🙂

  14. Brian says:

    ”Two readers have barking dogs…”

    A.k.a. “Two readers have cooperative components…”


    They are, to themselves with their thoughts, “barking” about the barking dogs. So the dogs continue to reflect that.


    ”… that are driving them crazy…”

    To clarify that: “… that they are using as their reason to not feel good and be out of alignment with who-they-really-are.


    ”All want to know how to use law of attraction to get someone else to change.”

    You can, as long as you don’t need them to change so that you can feel better.


    As you focus on feeling better, regardless if the unwanted condition changes, that’s when you allow the condition to change to what you want.


    ”What words of wisdom do you have for someone who wants to use their manifesting powers to change bad neighbor behavior?”

    Change your bad thoughts about their bad behavior, and you will feel better.


    Here’s a quote from Abraham:


    “Some of those people in your life do not deserve your good thoughts. But YOU do.
    YOU deserve your good thoughts about them.”


    • Elle says:

      It’s great that you lead a dream life, Brian, and have stabilized that level of consciousness where nothing phases you. At least, that’s what it seems like to me. As a matter of fact, I sometimes ask myself “What would Brian say or do about this one?”

    • Jeannette says:

      Really appreciated the spotlight you gave this, Brian:

      “You can, as long as you don’t need them to change so that you can feel better.
” It took me a while to learn how having an agenda (besides feeling better) to force things to change can be a kinky vibration in itself.

  15. Deborah says:

    Quantum physics is now clear that ALL possible realities co-exist in parallel. Which means that what our job is to align ourselves with the version of reality that we prefer, rather than “attracting” what we want, per se.

    It *sounds* like a small distinction, especially since all of the LOA techniques that we use to feel better and to imagine ourselves in our desired circumstances will all help us align with our desired outcome.

    BUT it releases some crazy-powerful energy to approach a problem as simply selecting an EXISTING, preferred option, rather than with the mindset that we are tasked with somehow CREATING a thing that doesn’t yet exist.

    It’s a deceptively subtle adjustment that might just be the key to everything. These are the ideas I’ve been experimenting with lately. 😉

    • This is my opinion and it is mine.

      You are very much on track. Go with it.

      Chip
      Life Surfer

    • Anonymous says:

      Love! Aligning with the vibration of a preferred condition puts the ball in your court in very personal way. You are deciding to choose something else, you are not trying to change another’s behaviour. So liberating. So brilliant!

    • Jeannette says:

      Deborah, I like how you roll! That’s exactly the thought that gets me out of the woods sometimes, too:

      “… approach a problem as simply selecting an EXISTING, preferred option, rather than with the mindset that we are tasked with somehow CREATING a thing that doesn’t yet exist.”

      Yay for that!

  16. Sharon says:

    I live in a small sub division and when I first moved here the majority of the homeowners took great care of their homes and yards but we had the exception and I allowed myself to focus on the exceptions and created exactly the opposite of what I wanted. I have recently started to realize that as I’m walking my dog, to not use the neighbors as my objects of attention to hold myself out of alignment and slowly things that had been driving me crazy are now effortlessly being taken care of. I’m still a work in progress but I’m getting better at it.

  17. Gary Bodley says:

    Hi Jeannette, this is from Joshua

    The Law of Attraction is the fundamental law of the universe and it is absolute. Whatever exists in your life now does so because you have attracted it in some way. If you do not understand how or why something you think you do not like has entered into your reality, you are simply looking at it from a limited perspective. If you believe that your neighbor (or anyone) is doing something that you perceive as wrong, and you feel negative emotion, it’s a sign of a limiting belief you hold which is based in fear and is not true. If you want to change the person so that you feel better, you are going about it in a way that does not serve who you really are or what you really want.

    You attracted your neighbor and the fact that you believe their actions are wrong is meant to allow you to uncover and resolve a limiting belief. Your neighbor is actually there to help you expand through the experience. You must find a way to feel better first and the issues with your neighbor will be resolved. Until you realize that it is your personal issue, your neighbor cannot change no matter what you say or do. It is simply not possible in this reality.

    You make the change to yourself and by changing, you change your vibration and what you are a match to. Then as you no longer match the aspect of your neighbor you do not like, that aspect must be removed from your reality. It is law and cannot be any other way.

    The only possible way to change your neighbor is to change yourself. When you learn this process, realizing it is you who brings all that you do not like into your own life, not random events, but you, you will know how to create the life you really want. Until you change, you will receive a mix of wanted and unwanted. Trying to change other people so that you can feel good just doesn’t work in this reality.

    We Are Joshua

    • Jeannette says:

      I love this, Joshua/Gary:

      “The only possible way to change your neighbor is to change yourself. Trying to change other people so that you can feel good just doesn’t work in this reality.”

      Thank you for putting that to succinctly! Understanding that concept makes all the difference. 🙂

  18. Katy says:

    Ahhh…this one I know!! Jeannette helped me with this earlier in the year by sharing her stories of her own neighbors – I ‘thought’ I was doing alot of things right and maybe I was, HOWEVER I was giving them too much attention even when they weren’t doing anything lol…like I was wondering…’what are they up to?” Sheesh!! However once I started making some peace with it and them…got better earplugs, (though want to check out those Namaste mentioned -thanks!) and within a month, I noticed lots of comings and goings (this is after 2 yrs of noise!) and long and short..they moved out within 2 weeks!! Woo hoo –

    So of course now I’m ‘worried’ about the new neighbors lol (oh boy) BUT I was armed with new confidence and stories from folks like you all – and these new neighbors are huge improvement…little instances here and there but not even close to old neighbors. Whew!!

    Needless to say, it is possible and yes i do believe making the best of where you are ‘during’ it all (moving to diff rooms, I’d go on couch if back rooms were noisy and be ‘glad’ I had a couch lol) use earplugs and stop paying them attention. The U took care of the rest!

    We are pretty darn powerful creators ,eh? 🙂

    • Jeannette says:

      So cool that the new neighbors gave you another chance to nail this vibration once and for all. It is a great opportunity to practice our management skills, huh? 🙂

  19. I’m going to answer this from my perspective, as it relates to how I’ve been handling things lately. There is contrast here and the first thing I want to do is to move it from the unwanted column of experience into the wanted column. In other words, this contrast is arising because it is pointing out the very thing that is delaying the having of what I am wanting. I called it forth so I can examine it and decide what I want instead. It is a good thing.

    Now depending on how much it bothers me, I can do one of several things. If it is a mild feeling, I can just say that this is the last straw of a cluster of thoughts that is evolving away from me. I just let it be okay that the dog is barking.

    Or if it is irritating, it may be the outward manifestation of something of similar vibration that I have been ignoring. In that case, I let it be okay that the dogs are barking, they are just pointing out a cluster of thoughts that I have brushed aside. I can then let it be okay that I have been ignoring this cluster of thoughts and deal with the directly.

    If it is on my mind constantly, that is my cue to feel the contrast, let it arise so it can burn itself out, exposing the thoughts that I have been harboring.

    Now it it is the latter, I may have to work my way up the emotional scale. Like first I might feel powerless to do anything, then I might feel anger, then I might feel frustration, working my way to the “positive” end of the scale.

    But in none of these scenarios would I try to change or mitigate the experience–unless there was a very clear, obvious, and easy thing that I could do that is in alignment with the truth of who I am. It might be as simple as going indoors or listening to my iPod with noise cancelling headphones.

    But most of what I would focus on is shifting my vibration in relation to the unwanted experience. As others have pointed out, this vibrational shift is where your power lies.

    Chip
    Life Surfer

    • Elle says:

      Yup, Chip, that is what I am trying to do. The point is that I am far too busy to even pay attention to any of this stuff to tell you the truth. I actually noticed all this during a summer illness and it really angered me, but now I need to get back to work/school, as I have tons of both, and really cannot waste any of my time with the neighbors at all. I would like to get back to focusing on my stuff as I did before. I still want the neighbors to disappear, but I won’t be focusing on them and so many other things beckon. 🙂

      • Della Monk says:

        I love this answer! How does this work with something more immediate like a bodily condition? If I accept that it’s here to help me choose what’s wanted, how do I go about shifting my vibration in that regard? How can I find the vibration of healthy when I am finding it hard to move?

        • Elle says:

          I think this is what I am grappling with now as well. This situation came about as a ramification of an illness during and after which I noticed all this stuff with the neighbors on both sides. As Abe would say, I have fallen out of the airplane.

          I understand illness is a low vibe/not wanted state. This is how I explain it, others may explain it in other ways. Gurus say to not give in to the illness, go about your business as best you can/are able to. For example, people with PTSD are made to work in the garden and on the grounds and not focus on the ailment at all. When ill, the focus is on wellness (I recite a wellness declaration, as you are supposed to be in incessant communication with Source anyway).

          I hope this helps in some way. I am writing as a distraction because I am still dealing with this thing.

    • Jeannette says:

      Love you, Chip!

      “But most of what I would focus on is shifting my vibration in relation to the unwanted experience. As others have pointed out, this vibrational shift is where your power lies.” So true!

  20. Della and Elle,

    “How does this work with something more immediate like a bodily condition?”

    You probably already know this, but your body is not who you are. Your body is your creation, but it also is an entity (thought form) that evolves with your intention. To change how your body looks and feels is no different than any other of your creations. You set an intention of how you want to feel, and when your intention is set, contrast will arise–specifically the exact contrast that is keeping you from having the body you want.

    The steps in dealing with this contrast is the same as above.

    Change the contrast from something you don’t want to something you do want–contrast is serving you by helping you get a body that feels the way you want.

    Be okay with the way you feel. What you are feeling is information that is describing how far the thoughts you are holding are from how you want to feel.

    Find a thought that feels better than where you are right here right now. If you are hurting, a thought that feels better will feel like relief. Then find the next thought that feels better.

    At first it might be difficult to set an intention to feel healthy, just because healthy is out of reach. But setting the intention to just feel better is always in reach.

    The way to feel better will always be the easiest and most obvious thing. It may be as easy as taking an aspirin or watching a sunset.

    The idea that health is a hard issue to deal with is one that for one reason or another we have adopted. It is part of the way we think that our body is who we are. So, another good intention to set is that the healing process will be both simple and easy, rising organically out of where we are right here and now.

    One last thing:

    “Gurus say to not give in to the illness…”

    Where I come from, this is a definition of resistance. Instead, let it be okay that you feel the way you do.

    Chip
    Life Surfer

    • Elle says:

      Thank you so much, Chip, for your wisdom and insight. You are a true teacher. Of course, most illnesses need R&R, so sleep does wonders, just to add another thought to this topic.

      Today was a day full of various signs for me, flowers, butterflies, inspiration to walk down a certain street where I saved the life of a bird whose head got stuck in between the small fencing around a tree, with the help of someone passing by. We were the only two people on the street at the time. It was really synchronous.

      Cheers everybody!

  21. Raven says:

    I love Jeannette’s story about her neighbors. I found it when I had googled “bad neighbors” because my neighbors were making so much smoke with their woodstove – the chimney of which was about 10 feet from my bedroom window. On a 75 degree day, it looked as though our houses were surrounded by deep fog. It was so hard to breathe. When I asked gently if they could please tend their stove in a way that it didn’t smoke so much,they declared that it was a brand new stove and that they didn’t want to change their wood burning techniques because this was America and they could do whatever they darned well pleased! I was so quietly angry. I wished harm and mayhem on their chimney even though I knew it wasn’t the right thing to do. Things got steadily worse. Then one day, I noticed that I had never heard them laugh. Ever. So I began wishing them the joy of simple, uncomplicated laughter. Every day, several times a day. I could truly feel that wish in my heart. It felt so good. Then, one day, I heard them speaking kindly to their grandchildren – something else I had never heard before. They had always been so harsh when speaking to those little kids. The energetic atmosphere around my neighbors house seemed to lighten up bit by bit. Then a month later, they bought a pellet stove and there was no more smoke. Thank you for the inspiration, Jeannette!

    • Jeannette says:

      Raven, I LOVE your story! You made me laugh out loud when I read, “I wished harm and mayhem on their chimney” — been there, done that!

      Yay for you for evolving to a place of being able to wish them laughter upon them. You rock! 🙂

  22. Mel says:

    Hi, I hope my question hasn’t been mentioned earlier.

    Using the LOA how do you ask a person to stop one behaviour and do another instead? (In my case this is specifically about asking a neighbour to stop dropping in without notice and instead to contact me on the phone and respect my privacy.) I am aware that “No” is a tricky thing with the LOA, as in “I don’t want this (whatever it is)” is really focusing on what we don’t want and attracting it. However if you need to tell someone very clearly to stop something, how do you word it properly so they understand it the right way?

    Thanks in advance for your thoughts! I wish you all a perfectly peaceful harmonious neighbourhood!

    • Jeannette says:

      Happy to address your question, Mel. Thanks for posting it!

      Here are my thoughts: it’s not so much what you say, the words you use, or even how you say it. The results you get are much more based on what your vibration is about it all.

      Which is why you might even find that you don’t have to say anything at all once you shift your vibe. So the question to you is, what do you want, and how will you feel when you have it? Find a way to focus on that and feel that way now, and you’ll find inspiration to the right words, if any are needed.

    • “Using the LOA how do you ask a person to stop one behaviour and do another instead?”

      To follow-up on what Jeanette said, you cannot modify in any way another person’s behavior. Because you create the entirety of your experience, what you experience as another person is not them, but rather your interpretation of a vibration you share–your “version” of them.

      By changing your vibration about the topic to one of harmony, as Jeannette says, you are changing the dynamic of your relationship. Your version of them them shifts to match the new vibration.

      “I am aware that “No” is a tricky thing with the LOA, as in “I don’t want this (whatever it is)” is really focusing on what we don’t want and attracting it.”

      It’s not so much that it is tricky as it is misunderstood. You don’t get hit by a car because you hesitate and look both ways before you cross the street. You don’t get hit, because there is very little resistance to the idea you might get hit.

      Let’s apply this to your neighbor.

      If you were to just think, “I would like my neighbor to call before coming over.” You are just setting an intention and he/she would probably comply.

      But you give it energy when you don’t like the way you feel when your neighbor comes over. You are judging yourself for feeling the way you do, trying not to feel like that, and putting a courteous face on it. For instance, if you are irritated that they interrupted you, but stuff it to be polite, you are creating resistance–and you are using LOA to bring you more opportunities to become irritated.

      If however, you let it be okay that you feel irritation, that the emotion (irritation) is a messenger, bringing you information about thoughts don’t serve you (what you are thinking when you are irritated), you can greet your neighbor without the resistance. And the situation is free to change.

      The key is just be okay with how you feel. Emotions, although some feel bad, are neither good or bad any more than pixels on a computer screen are good or bad. They are just information. They tell you if what you are thinking is in alignment with the truth of who you are (feels better or like relief) or if what you are thinking is out of alignment with the truth of who you are (feels bad.)

      If you treat emotions like messengers and are okay with how you feel, you will create less resistance, and as a result, fewer repetitions of situations you don’t like.

      Chip
      life Surfer

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