What Do You Want?

June 3, 2008 | 9 Comments »

Desire” is the topic for the June issue of The Law of Attraction Blog Carnival

Which got me thinking about what we want … and how easily we get that simple subject wrong.

Someone once upon a time (wish I knew who to credit) told me that what most of us want is way more simple than we realize.

If you ask most people what they want, they’ll say something “big” like a promotion at work, a million dollars, a vacation around the world, or a dream come true lover.

Seems reasonable.  After all, we hear stuff like that all the time.  Many of us even think it.

But when you ask why they want that, we get a little closer to the truth. 

It’s often how we think that thing will make us feel that reveals the true desire.  (Michael Neill taught me that.)

Example: when I wanted to make more money at work, it was so I would feel more valued.  When I wanted a big bank account balance, it was to feel peace of mind.  When I wanted a boyfriend, it was to feel cared about.  When I wanted to volunteer at the animal shelter, it was to feel a sense of purpose.

When we shoot for the wrong target, we don’t experience fulfillment or satisfaction.  But even more, we make the work of getting what we (think we) want much harder than it really is.

Because if all we wanted was to feel a certain way, we could focus on that and activate it much more easily than requiring big money or promotions or lovers to come into our lives.  I could choose peace of mind right now; I could consciously care about and value my Self now.

But having said all that, I think it goes even deeper …

When I ask my client who says he wants a month long vacation, or to retire altogether, or to get a divorce, or whatever he thinks he wants – when I ask him what he’ll do after that, we start getting into much more interesting territory.

Once someone imagines themselves properly rested up from life, or unencumbered from the tolerations they live with day in and day out, then they have the freedom to start seeing what they really want. 

You know what I hear from them?  Things like: to grow a garden; to pet the dog; to laugh with children; to watch the sunset.  To read a book; to share a nice meal; to dance to the music.

It’s the simple stuff that really floats our boat.  Our true desires are much more basic and mundane than most of us realize, I suspect. 

In fact, Gregg Braden said that once we realize we can have whatever we want, we stop wanting.  The “want” energy just isn’t present like it used to be.  I would agree.

When my coach Martha Beck asked why I was so addicted to work, I told her it was because I wanted to create or hear some sort of good news.  “What will you do after that?” she asked.  I burst out laughing.  I’d relax!  Lay down!  Take it easy! 

She told me to skip the middle man and go straight for the true desire.  My homework was to lay on the couch.  lol

Martha was on to something there. 

It turns out my most delicious moments aren’t seeing my first eBook break records, or being invited to Oprah, or reveling in any other success I manifested.  My favorite moments are when the cat falls asleep in my lap, smelling fresh baked brownies, and taking a long hot bath.

And I’m not alone. 

It’s not that I’m incredibly easy to please; rather, I think we’re all after something much simpler than we realize.  To feel good; to enjoy life.  And that is SO much easier than we make it out to be.

At least that’s what I think.  🙂

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9 Responses to “ What Do You Want? ”

  1. Peregrine John says:

    Bobby McFerrin has a song that will be a good mnemonic for me in this area: Simple Pleasures

    The main section as an excerpt:
    I like to get up early in the morning
    About six a.m. to be exact
    I have this chair I like to sit down in
    I got the good book to sit down and read
    Get my day started in the right way
    I got these two little boys Taylor and Jevon
    I call them in the morning
    I say boys get up its time for school
    And they get on their clothes
    I pour the cereal out and the sugar too, yes indeed
    And I call my baby
    Baby I say Debbie get up get up
    Its time to get yourself together
    It’s such a beautiful day outside
    Simple pleasures are the best
    Yes they are
    I’m so happy
    I’m a happy man…

  2. Kim Falconer says:

    Wow John, those are great lyrics.

    Thank you.

    Jeannette these ideas are so important. I remember the revelations I had when you first asked me, “Kim, what do you really want?”

    I find now whenever I strive for something that my true desire is almost never ‘to strive.’ Pretty much everything boils down to “I want to enjoy life.”

    And I do 🙂

    Thank you for yet another wonderful post!

    xxxxxxx
    Kim

  3. Zoe Routh says:

    Hi Jeannette and gang

    J – I love your little ebook! I’ve been pray-raining all week, and so far I’ve racked up a ton of sales, been more productive than ever, and just signed another new client. I love this technique!

    I’m also including a book review on it in Monday’s edition of Compass Bearings keep an eye out for it 🙂

    Zoe

  4. Wow, how true and how simple, Kim. Enjoying life is what it always boils down to for me, as well. (And I don’t use the word “always” carelessly.)

    Then my next question is – okay, so what does “enjoying life” look like? How will I best do that? What does that include and encompass?

    My answers there are fun to consider, but I find it’s a little too easy to forget that the whole point was to ENJOY LIFE.

    This Abe quote brings me back to it well:

    “When your goal is growth, then, in your drive for growth, you work too hard, you try too hard, and as you get more disconnected, you lose your sense of freedom, you absolutely lose your sense of joy – and, the growth does not happen either.”

    It IS an interesting topic, huh?

    Thanks for pitching in, Kim! Your perspective is always enlightening!

  5. Zoe, thanks for the feedback on how the technique is treating you and I’m thrilled you’re having such fun with it!

    Thanks, too, for sharing it with your audience. I’m already getting lots of fun emails from people who are just starting to play with journaling, and look forward to even more!

  6. John, I just now caught your posting – and LOVE it! Simple pleasures indeed.

    I’m off to hear the song on youtube …

    Thanks for the inspiration!

  7. tbea says:

    Hi Jeannette,

    How true! Thanks for reminding me that the important thing is to just enjoy life. This is all so easy if we will just let it be.

    Thanks again,
    tbea

  8. You know, tbea, I see you on all the good LOA blogs!! Glad you’re hanging out here, as well. I consider it a huge compliment!

    That enjoying life thing – you know, it is such a powerful and simple understanding, yet I often have to remind myself of it. Each time I get attached to results, for example, I remember – wait a minute. It’s not the end result that matters here. It’s how you thought it would make you feel. And you can feel that way in any given moment.

    Relax. Enjoy. Trust.

    Here’s to letting it be so easy! 🙂

    Thanks for posting here, tbea.

  9. Anonymous says:

    Loved it!
    thank you 🙂

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