When an Affirmation Feels Like a Lie

April 11, 2013 | 20 Comments »

when an affirmation feels like a lie“As you speak, so shall it be.”

That’s the promise that inspires many a deliberate creator to speak something big into being.

But what happens when the words we choose feel like a lie?

Much as we might want certain things to be true, thinking or speaking them sometimes makes us feel worse because of our contradicting reality:

  • “I am rich beyond belief.”
  • “I am happily married to a loving, committed partner.”
  • “I am a highly paid professional in high demand.”

Do we just power through, ignoring that inner critic that says “yeah, right“?  Or do we dial it back to something more believable that our subconscious won’t reject?

I don’t think there’s a right or wrong answer that applies to everyone for every situation.  Sometimes we can boldly sidestep contradictory evidence and continue reinforcing the big reality we want to create …

Other times it feels better to soften the mantra and baby step our way into a dream come true manifestation.

Teal Scott says,

The better your affirmations feel to you, the more effective they are.

If the statement you come up with feels like you are simply arguing with yourself and invalidating how you feel, it is not the right affirmation to use.

I’ve personally found it very effective to use big affirmations even when they were far, far from “true.”  If I can stick with the big thought, eventually Universe has to prove me right – no matter how ridiculous or unlikely it is.  And the more I repeat it, the less foreign it feels.  It’s been very powerful in creating new outcomes.

Teal says that while the ‘fake it till you make it’ kind of pretending is sometimes degraded as being dishonest, “there is a vast element of universal truth in this saying.”  Because everything begins with a thought, and the Universe doesn’t distinguish between what’s pretend and real.

And yet, there are times when the big thought feels like too big a leap to make.  That’s when it might be preferable to bite off something we can better chew.  On those occasions the path of least resistance might be to soften big thoughts with a preface like “I am looking forward to …” or “I am in process of …”

However we do it, what matters most is that we consciously engage our power of focus to create what we want.

How about you?  What works best for you in crafting affirmations – to baby step your way in or go big?

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20 Responses to “ When an Affirmation Feels Like a Lie ”

  1. Thomas Warner says:

    I love the subtlety in choice when manifesting BIG THINGS! I love the reminder that the Universe…and our subconscious doesn’t know the difference between real or imagined. Mostly, I love the fact I am reminded to get out of my own way….the size of the “thing” doesn’t matter to the higher power…it is all the same….a dollar or a million. We make it hard for ourselves…Thank you or this post. I am in the middle of a major manifesting, something that I strongly desire. I can’t wait to share my inspiring results with the world!!! It will benefit many.
    Thanks for the kick in the pants and reminding me of my POWER!

  2. Jeannette, the reason I developed my free Six Steps to Powerful Affirmations eCourse was for people to learn how to create affirmations they LOVE saying and thinking, and how to change them as their consciousness grows. The most powerful affirmations are unique to each of us and trigger a shift into a higher vibration: they make us smile or giggle or fill us with joy, love or appreciation.

    As you say, the *size* isn’t the issue—everything is consciousness, or said another way: everything is conscious energy.

    What does matter is the level of OUR consciousness on that subject of our affirmation(s)—when we are open to the possibility, and the idea delights us, with no attachment or stories, the Universe can deliver it to us more readily. That is, our *allowing consciousness* is a cooperative component to the manifestation process.

    Interestingly, Jeannette, I’ve noticed that highly creative right-brain dominant people find it easier to “suspend disbelief” and focus on possibility. When I work with left-brain dominant people, more often than not, their back-talk is so strong they do better with Afformations, which you did a post about a while back.

    Many blessings,
    Nancy

  3. Good reminder, Thomas! Universe doesn’t know the difference between real or imagined and “big” or “little”!

    And Nancy, I’m so glad you mentioned Afformations here! That’s a good alternative for deliberate creators to consider when we’re creating our magic words that “click” best.

    Thanks for posting, you two! 🙂

  4. Janette says:

    I had a hang up about Affirmations for many years – partly because I grew up in the comfort zone of being one of those left-brain people Nancy mentions 😉

    So I stopped calling them Affirmations, and I simply call them I AM statements. And getting picky about what comes after the words ‘I am….’ – well, that way my power lies!

    When it comes to deliberate I AM statements, I know some will trigger the strict ‘be real’ part of my psyche, and for those I keep it general. So instead of ‘I am ridiculously wealthy’ – which I’d love to use, but it immediately sets off my internal BS detector! – I’ll use something like ‘I have more than enough money for everything I need’ – because that can slide into my consciousness with ease and grace. Mmmmm….. 😀

  5. Yes, Janette – from what I’ve read the “I am” versions are the most powerful affirmations we could use. (And I love that you pointed out how calling them something besides affirmations works better for some. Kind of like how some people have a negative charge on the word “goal.”)

    I wonder if that plays out with others’ experience … has anyone noticed the I AM version of affirmations to be more powerful than others? And does the contracted version work just as well? (“I’m ridiculously wealthy?”)

  6. Stacy | Online Reputation Marketing says:

    Something that has helped me – not just for affirmations but with beliefs and desires in general – was to learn more of the quantum physics behind law of attraction.

    One book I’d suggest is Happy Pocket Full of Money by David Cameron (not even sure if it comes in a regular book format – I have the pdf of it).

    Anyhoo – reading about the quantum physics of it all – and how everything we want ALREADY exists helped me a lot. It helped me to stop thinking the things I wanted but didn’t have in current reality were false when I affirmed them as if I already have them – because they all already exist. I just haven’t lined up with it yet. But it’s all true – I just have to get myself to that plane of existence/open my eyes to it actually already being true.

    For those of us that have a harder time with simply trusting and having faith, I highly recommend learning more of the science that gives “proof” to law of attraction.

    So then it doesn’t matter how “big” or out there an affirmation might seem on the surface because it’s much easier to believe it will come to pass when you get the science down too.

  7. That is so true, Stacy! Or at least, it has been for me, too. Understanding the mechanics of it all has definitely empowered me to go for the big stuff.

    Thank you for chiming in with that!

    So I thought I’d read that book, but I don’t remember it being particularly heavy on the science aspect. Maybe I’m due for a re-read?

  8. A unity minister I knew taught us to TAB our affirmations or say I “totally accept the belief” before our affirmation.

    Recently, I read (sorry, I can’t remember where) someone writing and saying their affirmations in this way, “I wish to believe I am abundant.” or “I wish to believe my body is gloriously healthy.” I really liked the way it felt. It softened the affirmations for me and it felt good, but a wish might not be strong enough for some people. It could be a good starting point though.

  9. Ashey says:

    Thank you so much for this post! I have recently been focusing more on affirmations. I’ve had Louise Hay’s book “I Can Do It” for a awhile but just started reading it again. (it’s all about affirmations)

    It’s only right that my vibe would attract such a post!! (That and I always read good vibe blog). I am a true believer that affirmations work, as Louise says, “Everything you say is an affirmation”.

    If you keep saying something over and over, there must be a reason, it must be true and the Universe will make it so.

    Thank you and I wish you all a good vibe!! 🙂

  10. That’s a brilliant way to ease our way into something that might otherwise feel too big, Michelle. Thanks for the tip!

    Ashey, I love that you put a spotlight on the importance of repetition. I think that’s where a lot of creators go south – they give up on their magic too soon!

    Thanks for chiming in on this one, you two! 🙂

  11. Judy says:

    While I understand spoken affirmation can be very powerful (“In the beginning there was the Word…”) it has never been my cup of tea. But WRITING the same affirmation as an intention and pining it on my bulletin board (“I intend….blah blah blah…Thank you Universe”)is always powerful for me and I do it all the time. I like everyone’s responses, though….

  12. I have a particular affinity for the written ones, too, Judy.

    Here’s to engaging the power of affirmations however most lights us up!
    🙂

  13. I’ve never had much success with affirmations … they trigger what Janette so called accurately the BS detector in me, and even Afformations didn’t feel any more valid.

    (I mean, asking “Why am I so wealthy?” doesn’t ring any truer than “I am rich”.

    But it’s not so much the statements themselves, I think, but more because I don’t do them long enough to get over the disbelief.

    And the focus on the destination, not where I’m at right now.

  14. Jacqui, what DO you use to manage the vibration? I imagine others who are also discouraged with their experience with affirmations might like to hear an alternative that serves well …?

  15. Savannah says:

    This is something I’ve been thinking about lately. This morning, while drinking coffee, I felt like I absolutely NEEDED to make a list of things I am. It was actually sort of funny, because I never really thought I had a high self-esteem, but as I wrote, I locked on to “I am charming and amazing.” It makes me feel all warm and happy right in the heart chakra, so I’ve been saying, “I am charming and amazing, and I’m great at getting jobs” and “I’m charming and amazing, and they would be so lucky to have me as an employee. I should just call them and tell them that.” Starting with something that makes me feel warm and happy makes it so much easier for me to take another step forward.

    I know I’ve done this in the past, without realizing that I was using an assist to get the affirmation I wasn’t too sure about over the fence. “I have seriously amazing hair and I’m going to nail this test.” It can be little stuff like that, as long as you’re smiling about it.

  16. Savannah says:

    Now I am imagining affirmations grabbing the hands of other affirmations and going “okay! Let’s go!” Like when an older kid is helping their younger sibling jump into the pool!

    Can you tell I’m an older sister?

  17. Stacy | Online Reputation Marketing says:

    Jeannette, I felt that the beginning parts of Happy Pocket were quite science-y. Not so much the latter parts, but in the beginning it was about quantum physics and the illusion of time, etc.

  18. Kat says:

    I’ve also struggled with affirmations and doubt, but I’ve stumbled on to something that may help others (and probably isn’t news for a lot of people, but just in case)… If it takes 17 seconds to get into the vortex, then it makes sense to me to sandwich in my “intentions” every 17 seconds into affirmations I already believe to be true. For instance, spend 17 seconds affirming what you believe about yourself (in my case, I’m a great friend, a wonderful gardener, etc.) and if you can only come up with a few, embellish those statements until you use up 17 seconds and then slip in something you’re trying to manifest such as “I have a wonderful loving relationship with my soulmate,” or “I’m ridiculously rich.” Then go on to another block of 17 seconds of affirmations you believe to be true before you can call “BS” on the manifest affirmation. I think the more we appreciate ourselves and the many great things about us we know to be true, the easier it is to slide in a few new beliefs that we’re hoping to manifest.

  19. Diane Hunter says:

    Recently, I had the opportunity to take a look in the mirror and I saw that believing the big affirmations was a challenge. Very valuable feedback as I’m unable to change what I don’t see and I thank you for helping me see with clarity and compassion. Your post is such a tremendous gift and all the comments too. I see that I’m the one blocking the possibilities. Thank you Michelle for the softening start of “I wish to believe…” As I reflect, I realize writing them down has worked and will add that to an intentional practice starting the list with “I wish to believe and fully embrace big affirmations.”

  20. Lee says:

    What an enjoyable and positive website I ‘happened’ to find today! Thank you to all of you for your insightful comments!

    Re Affirmations, I have found that choosing my words very carefully works so well for me, especially after repetition!
    For example: If I’m feeling unhappy or miserable about something, instead of saying “I feel happy and joyous about ………!” (which does not sit well with me at that time!), I have learned to say something like “I love it when I feel so happy and joyous about …….. now!” or “When I feel so happy and joyous about ……., it feels so good now!” This firstly takes me into the future with the word “when” and then brings it instantly back into the present time with “now”! This tends to quickly bring me back into the Vortex again, which I believe is being in our truly natural state!

    Thanks again for the delightful sharing! Lee 🙂

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