When Self-Love Seems Selfish
That’s why not liking yourself is such a vibe-kinker. And why so many LOA coaches and teachers suggest self-love.
Because learning to be good to yourself, in thought and action, is the single-handed most powerful way to come into alignment.
We won’t really truly feel fulfilled until we like who we are.
And that’s a practice, guys. (At least, it is for those of us who were trained out of it.)
Here’s the obstacle some of my clients run into when I ask them to engage self-love …
Actually, they run into two challenges:
- the first is not knowing what that even looks like (to practice self-love), and
- the second is that it violates the conditioning they’ve received to put others first.
They think that to love themselves means they’re not being good to others. And that conflicts with their very basic programming to put others first.
As if you either love yourself or you love others. Because if you’re being good to yourself, someone else suffers.
I want to go on record to say that’s a bunchacrap.
A bunch of crap, you guys!
Nothing could be further from the truth!
To be good to yourself is to be good for the planet and everyone on it. There is no conflict.
Anything you think is a conflict is an illusion and a myth.
We are not serving others when we sacrifice our own desires and feelings for a “higher good.” There is no higher good than being good to ourselves!
I know that thought doesn’t fly with a lot of religious programming. But to be good to yourself is to bring your very best to the planet earth party.
Here’s another way to think of it …
If it really seems selfish to love yourself, then you need to know that it is a good thing to be selfish.
That is a habit you would want to cultivate and celebrate.
Because you aren’t doing anyone any favors when you live “less than.”
I shared an extreme example of this in a new podcast episode, of a mom who didn’t like being a mom. Who fantasized about leaving her kids behind to travel to another country, where she could pursue her life passion properly.
When she said yes to what she really truly desired, it changed everything for everyone.
It always does when we honor our true heart.
So if there’s any part of you that isn’t loving yourself properly because you think it negatively affects someone else, you’re invited to rethink that.
There is no way we’re better off because you’re shutting down something good for yourself.
That’s something worth getting straight about.
Your alignment depends on it!