Wiping Out Wimpy Words

August 22, 2009 | 44 Comments »

thought-bubblesHow often do you hear words like these:

  • “We’ll see.”
  • “I’ll try.”
  • “Hopefully …”
  • “I don’t know how.”
  • “I can’t figure out …”

Not the words of a master manifester, right?

This is where I’d like to say I picked these phrases from client conversations in order to highlight what NOT to say as a powerful creator.

But the truth is these words came from my own mouth!

In fact, I can hardly believe … I just did it again!  While typing this very post I popped over to read emails; saw that my new virtual assistant resent a note I hadn’t responded to yet.  So I replied back saying thanks for the resend, and that I’m HOPING to get my inbox under control later today.

What the @$&*%?!

I know so much better than to hope or try for anything, and yet there I was speaking it.  (Or typing it, anyway.)

If I didn’t know better I might think I was insane to use weak speech that doesn’t reflect (or empower) my reality-creating abilities.  But, it’s not insanity – just habit.

While my language is much stronger now than years ago, obviously there’s still room for improvement.

I share this because I’m pretty sure I’m not alone.  🙂

Okay, now it’s getting ridiculous!  (Just saw a blog comment from Tia asking me to locate a lengthy comment she submitted but didn’t see post.  I couldn’t find it and tweeted her this: “nothing in my spam folder yet . but maybe it’ll take a second to show up? I hope!”  Argh!)

This is clearly time to regroup and realize resistance to wimpy words – in fact, resistance to ANYTHING – doesn’t eliminate it.  It just encourages more of it.

With this awareness, I’ll give up my battle against wimpy words like hope and try and can’t, and remember how good I am at speaking powerfully.  Remember how well I use language that reflects and enhances my powerful abilities to create whatever I want.

Relief already!

I’m tempted to change the title of this post at the same time.

Regardless of what I do, I know it’ll be perfect.

hee hee

That’s more like it!

  • I KNOW.
  • I INTEND.
  • I WILL.
  • I CAN.
  • I AM.

Okay, I’m on a sweet little roll now!  Let’s keep this one going!

I’d love to hear your most effective ways for spotting your own limiting language, and how you turn it around!  Game?

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44 Responses to “ Wiping Out Wimpy Words ”

  1. Jeannette, reading through your wise words made me smile, even laugh a little – mostly because I could recognize every word from myself 😉

    I’m very much aware of my words, cause I know that what I say (and write) is so very important – it reflects what I think, what I believe and what I create!!!

    I know I’m not using those small limiting words like hopefully and we’ll see very often any more, but they do pop up now and again. As soon as I realize one of them has slipped out of my mouth, I simply laugh of myself and rephrase.

    I’m very much OK with it, I know it’s just old habbit, and I know that every time I rephrase, I’m a bit less likely to say it again next time 🙂

    But what does bother me sometimes is all the “crap” I hear coming out of other peoples mouths 😉
    I know I’m not responsible for other people, but sometimes it does make me a little sad (just for a moment or two) to know, how hard they are making it for themselves.

    woohoo for powerful creating 🙂

  2. Sometimes I’ve asked friends to help me with my languaging, and vice versa. Both with the asking of better questions and the not using wimpy language. It can get annoying 24/7 though. So it should be a strong friendship! 😀

  3. Anonymous says:

    Jeanette,

    Tis another interesting and timely post! Just because the phrase may start out wimpy doesn’t mean that one can’t season it with some Lowrey’s “oomph” to give it a whole new flavor! Sure, I may not know how something is going to come about but it isn’t for me to worry about at this time. I got shoes to shop for! Or, I may not know how to do something but w/Google and YouTube? Consider it solved like a crossword puzzle!

    Still, I am not going to lie and type and claim that I don’t use wimpy language because I do! It’s just that I am able to catch myself in mid sentence, mid tweet or mid text in time to change it!

  4. MSNikki says:

    Jeanette,

    Tis another interesting and timely post! Just because the phrase may start out wimpy doesn’t mean that one can’t season it with some Lowrey’s “oomph” to give it a whole new flavor! Sure, I may not know how something is going to come about but it isn’t for me to worry about at this time. I got shoes to shop for! Or, I may not know how to do something but w/Google and YouTube? Consider it solved like a crossword puzzle!

    Still, I am not going to lie and type and claim that I don’t use wimpy language because I do! It’s just that I am able to catch myself in mid sentence, mid tweet or mid text in time to change it!

  5. I’ll second that, Pernille! (woo hoo for powerful creating!)

    Well said, Spiritual Nurse, that we should choose wisely in enlisting support for this work! ha

    Yay for catching it Anonymous! Awareness is everything!
    🙂

  6. “Giving them an out” as an argument for wimpy language .. hmm … interesting thought, Deb.

    Like, softening the blow to someone who asks us to be somewhere and we say “I’ll try” … like that’s a method for preserving better relationships and not hurting feelings? Not sure if that’s what you were thinking of as an argument for using wimpy words.

    In cases of not having all the information, I’m still not buying that as a good reason to give up our creative power with weak language. But I’m open to seeing it differently! Got a good example to look at?

  7. Cheri says:

    When I wanted to take ‘try’ and ‘should’ and ‘need to’ out of my vocabulary I did something really effective.

    I asked my kids and my husband to point out when I used them! They were happy to help out!

    And it really worked – not only for me, but for them as well! The best way to lead IS by example.

    I’ve heard that different chemicals are released in the brain when you use ‘should’ or ‘try’ then ‘will’ or ‘want to’. I have noticed a big difference in my life by taking those words out of my vocab.

    Go for it – you will be glad you did!

  8. Deb says:

    Well…. I haven’t commented in a while Jeannette, but I must dissent!

    I understand your point about being more directive and less “wimpy” but there’s a good reason to use wimpy words at times – it’s a way to question or discuss an issue with another person that allows for wiggle room when you don’t have all the information to “know” for sure.

    How many situations do you run into where you need to address a problem but don’t have ALL the information, or need to give the other person an “out” so that the aren’t defensive and you can resolve the problem? Wimpy language gives you the ability to step lightly when needed.

    The other side? Yes, many of us hedge and use wimpy words to keep us from making a commitment and following through with what we say. I can really get behind less wimpy language there. Being clear and direct with words gets us more responsible with our intentions in a lot of situations.

    Seems like the world would be a more proactive place with everyone watching their wimpy words!

    🙂

  9. Cheri says:

    I just read the other posts and I have one more thing to add. For me, a big part of the motivation in taking out those words was in moving from a place that I call ‘false choice’ to ‘true choice’.

    False choice is where you do things because you think you ‘should’ and you are ‘trying’. Life is often a struggle here and unfulfilling, even when you succeed. Because you manifest things in the same energy you create them in.

    True choice is only doing what you want to do. Often, it can look like the same actions, but it’s all about connecting with your vibration and your reason for doing it. From this place life is easy, things flow and you are fulfilled.

    Changing my language is not just about the words, its an opportunity to tune into ME and a opportunity to be in that place of true choice.

  10. Nice distinction, Cheri, between true choice and false choice! I’d never thought of it that way, and it sure hits home!

    Hmm. Can’t wait to share this with clients!
    🙂

  11. Flavia says:

    I love noticing my words, wimpy or otherwise. They are great indicators. For me the most important thing to ask myself is what am I focusing on when I say that? And what is the energy behind what I’m saying? (How does that feel?)

    For example sometimes “We’ll see” allows for an openness to be surprised and delighted, for it to turn out better than you could imagine it. I love re-wording and re-framing things to my benefit. It’s totally fun!!

    One of the games my hubby and I play is, when we hear the other say “I don’t want…” we ask “So what do you want?” or like instead or saying “Don’t forget to take the keys. It turns into “Remember to take the key” and we just laugh and have fun with it. We also figure it will also come in handy when we have kids. Instead of saying “Don’t run.” We can re-phrase it to “Walk slowly”.

    And Pernille, I know exactly what you mean and I’ve learned for myself (through doing ‘the work”) that I can’t really know what’s true for anyone else. Especially when I stress/ get sad for them or for what I think they are doing to themselves. I know sometimes I might say something that means something totally empowering to me yet someone from the outside might perceive it to be negative. I’m still learning to question my thoughts around this, ’cause I too sometimes feel like telling people “I know a better feeling, more empowering way to do this”:)) But even in an Abe way I recognize that even though someone might say something which sounds negative (which to me translates to focused on the lack of what is wanted) I never really know whether by what they just said. if they are moving up or down the emotional scale.

  12. Good point, Flavia, that the same phrase can have different energy behind it. Like, I can imagine “we’ll see” being a way to stay unattached to the outcome, but still allowing for the possibility.

    That’s not how I’ve found myself using that phrase, but I sure like that version of it!

  13. Si says:

    I’ve used EFT to change my accent (of all ridiculous things), & many other habits besides, so I see no reason it couldn’t be used to change speech patterns as well.

    Something like “Even though I say ‘hopefully’ I love & accept myself” (or “.. I use the word ‘hopefully'”) works really well. Just do a couple of rounds of tapping, then maybe follow up with “I still say ‘hopefully'” to get any remnants.

    I just had a bash with this, & cleared out hopefully, probably, should, try, ‘pretty sure’, ‘I’ll figure it out’, doubt, can’t & want. Worked a treat. Could feel the way I was thinking changing – because after all, whatever words we use verbally we use ten times as much in our heads, against ourselves.

  14. WOW!! Using EFT to clear it out!! Who’da thought of that, Si?! Thanks for sharing that fabulous tip!

  15. We’re moving into a place where we all need to stand fully in our power. Thanks for the reminder Jeannette!!

    The healing work with the horses is always a great testing ground for where we really stand with our energy (that’s being reflected by our language choice.)

    The horses KNOW the difference between I WILL And I’ll try!

    I suppose the Universe takes you about as seriously as do the horses when you’re in the “I’ll try” space! 🙂

    I’ll go take it out to them and see how much I’m in my power on 2 big projects, then shift my words accordingly!

    Rock On!

  16. Flavia says:

    Cheri I have a friend who said she learned it from someone else and so on so I don’t know it’s true source, but she says in her family if they hear each other say “I should” they promptly remind each other “Don’t should on yourself”. :))

    Also they have 4 kinds and when they were growing up and bumping across some contrast and would come home saying “This person made me feel angry” she would say “I made myself angry because the person did what?” In this way they learned at an early age that no one has power over how you feel, you have sole ownership of that. They might do unpleasant/unwanted things but how you feel about it is in your control. This she learned from Barry Neil Kaufman who wrote “Happiness is a choice”.
    The book also talks about how so often we motivate ourselves with unhapiness like “I’ll be so dissapointed if such and such doesn’t happen”. As if that has or would ever work!:))

  17. Yep, the world outside will reveal the energy behind our words, huh, Jenn? And what a great mirror horses make!

    And Flavia, you’ve reminded me of another weak phrase I sometimes use: “he makes me .. (so mad)” or “she’s driving me .. (nuts/crazy/to drink)” – not only completely untrue but ridiculously disempowering as well!

    Thanks. 🙂

  18. Mitch says:

    Jeannette, I can remember a session with you when you gave me some advice, and I said, “Yeah, I’ll try,” or something like that. And without missing a beat, you said, “Well, don’t try…” You didn’t even have to finish the statement for me to understand what you meant. lol

    What I loved about it, and this post, is that it pointed out to me what was even more important than the words I used, and that is the underlying vibration. If I’m saying “try” then I’m vibrating “try” and trying ain’t the same as *being*.

    Thanks for this. 🙂

  19. Now THAT is rewarding to hear, Mitch.

    I’m letting that satisfaction sink in!! woo hoo!

    And Janette, correcting yourself out loud – that’s a beautiful example to set and powerful lead to take with your friends.

    Thanks for posting, you two!

  20. Kristy M says:

    Haha yeah! I was just thinking of Yoda, Janette!
    One of the worse words I can think of is “IF”… like “If I get a new car…” or “If I go to the Bahamas..” ect.. I replace it all with “WHEN”. Ad I got some good ‘when’s lol

  21. Anonymous says:

    I, too, have recently become aware of my language choices. Shift happens. 🙂 Like Flavia and her husband, when I catch myself speaking or thinking a negative phrase, I turn it around to a positive. Empowering!

  22. Ooh, that’s another great one, Kristy! Switching up If to When. Thanks for that one!

    You know, Marci, I know that habit is effective not just with myself but I’ve also seen it rub off on my sweetheart! Pretty cool!

  23. Janette says:

    Hey Mitch – *Yoda voice*: There is no try. There is just do, or not do.

    😉

    IMHO *all* communication is hypnosis, including self-talk, so it’s important to be conscious of the language we use.

    My biggest challenge is staying immune from my friends’ language – after an hour with them I hear myself saying things like “with any luck” or “if only”…. I love my friends and don’t expect them to change to suit me, so I choose to use it as an opportunity to build my positive-language muscle! When I catch myself doing the wimpy talk thing, I correct myself out loud – that means I become more conscious of my thoughts, and sometimes I even make my friends curious to know why. Hee hee!

  24. Marci says:

    I, too, have recently become aware of my language choices. Shift happens. 🙂 Like Flavia and her husband, when I catch myself speaking or thinking a negative phrase, I turn it around to a positive. Empowering!

  25. Flavia, thanks for your wise words about other people, they offered me a different perspective which made me feel better – woohoo!!!!

    And I also very much enjoyed your comments about children – can’t wait to use the ““I made myself angry because the person did what?” on my 9 year old !!

  26. Avi Marcus says:

    This is an excellent point! Being aware of our words is a good reflection, and changing them can help shore up the desired vibration. Tony Robbins talks a bit about it..

    Another point is that sometimes we use wimpy words because we haven’t decided yet. Often, it’s better in the long run to say “I’m sorry” than to use some wimpy word that gives us an out. Being clear on our vibration helps us reflect that in our words and vice versa!

    @Flavia
    That sounds like an excellent thing to do with kids!
    And, I’ve noticed myself saying: “I’ll be so annoyed if X happens!” Then immediately I’d say: “Hmm, why would I do such a silly thing like choose to be annoyed?” So I’d start to release on the spot.

  27. Luci Weston says:

    What a great post to remind us of the power of words. Thanks!

    My mother’s favorite saying as I was growing up was, “We’ll see…” This really meant, “No, it’s not happening, ever!” I hated this saying so much that it never crept into my vocabulary, but “I’ll try” did. It has been a struggle, but I have learned to stop it from tumbling out of my mouth and quickly change it to a form of “I will” or “I’ll do…” This adjustment has made a big difference in reaching goals. It has also helped me to step out of my comfort zone. “Doing” makes one act, “trying” allows one to hide.

  28. Funny that you should post about this, Jeannette! Yesterday, I found myself typing to someone that I would be “trying” to complete a project. As soon as I typed it, I could feel the resistance inside of me (about the word AND the action it was related to).

    I checked in with myself to see how I *really* felt. At that moment in time, I had other things I wanted to give my attention to so part of me was *doubting* if I was going to have enough time to accomplish the task by the self-imposed deadline. I know that if I am doubting, I am creating more doubt.

    So I chose to *INTEND* that the project would be completed by the time I have set. I let go of *HOW* that will happen, and focus on the intention PLUS how great it feels to think of having it successfully completed!! :o)

    Janette’s point about self-hypnosis is well-taken. I see all words (and thoughts) as having an affect on me because they generate emotional vibes that create. Everything is either a positive or negative affirmation. The good thing is: We get to choose!

    While I’m at it, I’ll give EFT a few rounds, too!

  29. Robert says:

    I have been thinking a lot about this post since I first read it yesterday. And I must admit that my first reaction was to ask how we can always be positive in such a negative world. And remembering the post on asking better questions, I asked how can I be more like the Universe (God)? Because the Universe never uses wimpy words. In fact the Universe (God) never even says “no.” The Universe only says “YES” or “I have something better!” Now those are powerful words.

    Some of my favorite Law of Attraction books are the Scriptures and God doesn’t use wimpy words. One of my favorite scriptures is the one that says: “Ask and ye SHALL receive, seek and ye SHALL find, knock and it SHALL be opened unto you.” God doesn’t say, “Ask and you might receive,” or “seek and maybe you will find something sometimes.” Or even “knock and there is a high probability that you will get an answer.”

  30. Well said, Avi. You put in words what I was feeling after reading Deb’s post.

    Luci, I totally know what you mean. When I feel the “I’ll try” creeping up in my throat (it sometimes makes its way out, but I usually can catch it beforehand) I recognize that’s my sign of a “no thanks.” (In fact, I wonder if that was creeping up from a “gut feeling,” getting transformed into a socially acceptable response on its way out? ha Luckily I don’t worry AS much about social acceptance as I used to. Still do, just not AS MUCH.)

    Nancy, you and Si are making me want to incorporate some EFT into this process!! Thanks for the inspiration!

  31. Tiffany says:

    I have a challenge in using powerful words because I don’t want friends to think I’m insane! My family is pretty used to me, so they know whatever I set my mind to, becomes. My friends are a whole different wavelength sometimes, so saying…er…softer words will be a little easier.

  32. Kim Falconer says:

    Wonderful post, Jeannette, and everyone’s comments too!

    Janette, I loved that line ‘*all* communication is hypnosis, including self-talk. . . ‘ Nice reminder of the power of words.

    I have no worries intending, willing, doing, being. Where I find myself saying, ‘The gods be willing . . .’ or ‘If the timing is right . . .’ is in the realm of intimate relationship. This is where I would like to develop (am developing!!!) greater awareness. I have (had!) this underlying belief that when it comes to another person’s will, I have no power, no choice.

    Interesting.

    This touches on our cultural paradigm beliefs, particularly the one that suggests happiness in relationship depends on how the other person behaves. (not much choice there?)

    I think it is really more about our perception of how the other person behaves (plenty of choice there!)

    Thank you for this thought provoking topic!!! I’m having an epiphany…. anyone else????

    🙂 Kim

  33. Kimberly Gauthier says:

    This is so true. I find that I do it, because I don’t want to come across as cocky, but why is being certain, sure, and confident a bad thing? It’s not, so I’m dropping these from my vocab, because they’re just slowing me down 🙂

    Happy Sunday

    Kimberly

  34. Kristy M says:

    Kimberly, I have the same problem! You either don’t want to sound cocky or have people look at you like you are crazy lol. Thats why I really talk about my dreams to the right people. Like my a friend who supports everything I do. I could say “I’m going to quit performing and become a cowgirl(never haha)” and he would say “Well, awesome.. let’s shop for boots!”.. I just posted the quote on Twitter “Your Playing Small Does Not Serve The World” by Marianne Williamson… So maybe we all need a little Kanye West confidence in us.. just don’t jump on stage and insult the award show if you don’t win a Grammy (or whatever he didn’t win lol.. other than that he is amazing).

  35. Ooh, Tiffany, I’m liking the thoughts of a new friend for you who also uses “insane” languaging! lol

    Kim, I love how your fantasy characters school each other in powerful languaging! I smile every time I read it happening!

    And Kimberly, you remind me how many of us (Tiffany, too?) make ourselves “smaller” so as not to threaten or show up others. No one wins in that game, huh?

    What great contributions everyone’s making to this thread! Thank you for all of them!

  36. Jeanne says:

    What a great post, Jeannette, another soul-searching question, and what great comments it’s generated!

    One of my wimpy words is “I’m going to” (focus on future) instead of “I am” (focus on now). I choose to discard linear time and see my reality as NOW instead of sometime in the future. Denis Waitley pointed out the dangers of living on “Someday Isle” (someday I’ll). And, I just caught myself: I almost typed “it’s an ongoing battle” but immediately remembered what I told myself some years ago: “I’m DONE with struggle.”

    Our words make it so! Thanks —

  37. Now THAT’S stepping up the game even more, Jeanne! Woo Hoo!!

  38. Deb, I’m actually expecting to find a situation where your original post makes perfect sense. Because you know we get what we look for, and since you pointed me in that direction, I have no doubt I’ll see it soon!

    🙂

  39. Deb says:

    I missed the whole point of this post. !

    So sorry!

    When i was referring to the benefits of using wimpy words, it wasn’t about letting myself off the hook, it was using them to let others off the hook. Such as “I think you meant to say xxx, right?” Now there’s some wimpy words that gives the other person the ability to let you know if you understood what they meant or not.

    But what I see is that this is all about self empowerment… I totally missed the focus and the point.

    However, since finally getting the point (LOL) i have been watching my language for using words that “give me an out” and find that I too was using them much too often. It’s been very helpful to focus attention on this and understand how using those wimpy words affect my vibe and my integrity as a person.

    🙂

    -deb

  40. Kelly says:

    You are such a fine example of taking care of your community. Can’t believe, after all this time, you still manage to get in there and respond to all of these comments!

    I have a BIG opportunity that landed in my lap tonight from a very unexpected source. When telling my bff about it I said “we’ll see” and even now, that is my mentality. Feels too big!!! She corrected me, but it is so easy to slip.

    As always your post showed up right when it should have (via the newsletter).

    Hugs! Kelly

  41. Wormy says:

    Having written a post only this morning on how hope can be so disempowering this is a perfect follow up! I like Si’s idea of EFT too.

    Less of I’m trying to….
    Much more of I am, I will, I do etc

    Liking the timely reminder to watch the self talk – thank you.

  42. I wrote a similar post a couple of times. Love your title! I actually wonder how frequently I fail to catch these limiting words that come out of my mouth. Of course, when I catch myself I make an immediate correction. Do our conversations really reveal our hearts?

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