10 Ways to Transform a Relationship Using Law of Attraction

There are lots of ways to transform a relationship, but this list is devoted to ten law of attraction ways.

Even one of these ideas – put into practice – can make all the difference in your marriage, friendship or relationship with a family member, co-worker or neighbor.

You don’t need to engage all ten. Just be on the lookout for which appeals most:

1. Look for things to appreciate.
This is common advice in LOA circles, and for good reason. It’s a game-changer to develop a habit of noticing what we like about our other person.

Don’t overlook this gem for its simplicity or mundaneness. If every time you engaged a critical thought, you turned it around by clocking something you appreciate about them, that relationship will skyrocket into fabulous territory. Shoot, I even did it by accident once.

2. Love them up old-school. 
Remember how in the beginning you only had eyes for their perfection and were blind to faults? You can plug back into that original love vibe by recalling what you were so taken with about them, before contrast clouded your vision.

Just take a moment now to recall what drew you to them in the first place. Next write that down and keep it handy for occasional review, or be prepared to recapture this perspective next time you find yourself dwelling on less than fabulous thoughts.

The first time I laid eyes on Russ I had a strong sensation of coming home. It felt like I’d been on vacation all my life and I’d finally returned home sweet home. Recalling that brings me right back to the truth of what’s possible for us together.

3. Release your grudges. 
If there are memories or stories you’ve been hanging on to that you don’t want more of (I’m talking resentments, grudges, grievances, etc.) consider letting that go. Your relationship will be handicapped as long as you nurse old wounds.

That’s why it’s well worth letting that old reality be exactly that – an old reality. Stop bringing it into your present experience and make room for something better.

When I find myself lingering on a negative memory of Russ, I quote dad’s wisdom: “I don’t hold anything against anyone any more.” It helps me shake off the negative past and create a more enjoyable present.

4. Give what you want to receive. 
When we stop trying to outsource our happiness, and instead take responsibility for our own feelings, it gives the relationship breathing room to thrive.
Whatever we wish someone else would give us so we could feel better, we can give that to ourselves. You wish he was more considerate and respectful? Dial up your own self-respect and consideration. You want her to be more loving and attentive? Lead the way yourself. This is LOA at its best.

I used to blame Russ for not appreciating me like I thought he should. When I gave myself the gift I wanted from him (by finding ways to appreciate myself more), I felt better right away and it didn’t take long for him to follow my lead. Magic happens when we release the pressure we’ve put on them for how we feel.

5. Distance yourself from drama.
If you’ve got friends or family who chronically complain about their connections, limit your exposure to that energy. Don’t overly entertain others’ relationship criticisms.

Be discerning about the conversations and people you engage. Make a point of talking about what you prefer rather than what you wouldn’t consciously invite into your world. Because, as Jim Rohn said, we are who we hang out with.

6. Practice “I love that about you.”
When you see something you don’t like in your partner, try this little trick to turn that vibration around:

Say they’ve done that thing you just can’t stand. Again. Instead of engaging your inner critic, simply say to yourself (or even out loud), “I love that about you.”

Your Inner Being (aka Higher Self) really does love that about them, so when you think that thought you’re connecting with the part of you that sees them as Source does. And that’s a delicious and immediate shift.

In my experience, sometimes this trick works wonders and sometimes it just takes the edge off the criticism. But even that is a vibrational improvement.

7. Love them like you got what you wanted.
Have you noticed how much nicer we are when we’re fulfilled and satisfied? And have you noticed on the other hand how we sometimes withhold the goods when someone isn’t delivering what we want? Let’s suspend that latter routine, and instead lead the way to a happy relationship by conducting ourselves like we already got what we wanted.

My boyfriend works this magic on me sometimes … he’ll treat me like gold for no obvious reason. And when he does, I rise to the occasion and meet him at that gold standard. It’s a reliable way to draw the best out of your partner.

8. Clean up your expectations.
Often times what blocks another from being really good to us is our knowing who they are. We can only get what we vibrate, so when we expect someone to behave badly (“He’s a jerk”; “She’s so needy”), it’s a challenge for them to buck that vibrational current.

Practice seeing them at their best. As Abe would say, imagine their “vortex version” and let any low-vibe expectations evolve into positive ones. People live up to and down to our expectations all day long. Give your partner something good to work with!

When I found myself expecting Russ to be mad or upset about something, he was. When I shifted my expectations, it was like a different boyfriend came home from work that day. He matched my thoughts so perfectly it was a little spooky.

9. Rethink the negative past.
This is master level manifesting, and isn’t for all creators. It’s different than the tip to release a grudge, because what we’re doing with this one is imagining our past problem never happened. Or at least that it unfolded differently.

I learned this from Lynne McTaggart, who suggested we can change the past by recreating the memory in our minds. Not as it happened, but the way we prefer it had.

We do that by simply imagining the past events differently. That’s all. Tell a softer version of the past, and your present reality will adjust accordingly.

I practiced this once with a blowout that led to a five year estrangement with a loved one. Instead of thinking of that day as the big fight that ruined everything, I re-imagined that it wasn’t that big a deal. I told myself it was clear there was still a lot of love flowing between us and that all was well. Within days I received a love note and we were soon on friendly terms again, as if nothing had ever happened.

10. Open to possibilities.
Sometimes the transformation that’s being called for in our relationship is an ending. When we resist or deny that, we prevent our expansion and end up sabotaging our true fulfillment.

It simply doesn’t serve us when we’re attached to a particular outcome, so letting go our ideas of what’s “supposed to be” allows things to unfold in a way that serves everyone best. The name of this game isn’t using LOA to keep this person in our lives at any cost. It’s about finding a way to feel what we want and let Universe sort the details that match.

When I question the future of a relationship and am not sure whether to work it out or cut it loose, I let Universe guide me. My job is to vibrate what I want, so I tune into the feelings of a healthy, rewarding, happy relationship. I don’t necessarily know who I’m in this fabulous relationship with, but I do know how it feels. When I vibrate that, Universe makes things clear very quickly.

But it requires openness to practice that LOA magic.

These aren’t the only ways to employ your conscious creative powers in favor of an enhanced relationship, but they will take you far.

I’d love to hear your tips in the comments for how you’ve manifested positive change in your key relationships.

Important Note: if you are reading this in hopes of transforming an abusive person in your life, here are two suggestions: One, read this. Two, get outside support. This post is not written for those situations.

  • July 24, 2015
  • Daylite says:

    Thanks for this wonderful article. Positive vs negative in a relationship. How can that work out? I am doing Law of attraction and already have changed a lot but my partner is only laughing and making fun of it.We have arguments many times because we do business together. My partner is very negative minded about work,customers,and complaining a lot and seeing only bad things in me. That is a real problem because even tho I am advancing and constantly changing for the better, that negativity I feel strongly,is holding me back to achieve what I want too and know I can.My partner is having a hard time changing this negativity and the question for me really is what to do? Do you have suggestions for me? Thanks in advance

  • Really great article, this is the summary of everything I have learnt about LOA.
    I have been using it and attracted so many good things into my life. I wish more people will know about it and believe in it.
    If I may, I would summarize the LOA like this.
    1. Have a clear picture of what you want to attract to your life.
    2. Put emotion in that thought.
    3. Be calm about it, act as if you already have those things in your life.
    4. Be grateful and send out positive vibes everyday.
    5. Take actions
    6. Receive what you asked for and be thankful about it ????
    * And don’t forget to share your expereince with your friends

  • Reetika says:

    Is there a way I can connect with you via email ?

  • Heather says:

    Hi Jeannette, This is such a great article. 😀 I am going to add all into my daily list, too. 😀
    Could you tell me, what is your secret to writing such great, educating, fun and inspiring articles? 😀
    Thank you again!

    • Jeannette says:

      You’re making me laugh, Heather! The truth is I do work a pretty powerful intention along those lines, so thanks for the confirmation that it’s working! 🙂

  • Elmira says:

    I love your article , i m going to try them all in my relationships , Thanks you

  • Honeymoon says:

    Great list… but how do you tell when it’s time to leave or still worth staying? It’s a bit confusing sometimes with LOA, you get lots of teachers saying things like, ‘It’s never the situation, only your way of looking at the situation.’ So that kind of makes me think that it’s not my relationship that’s the problem, but my way of looking at it, and if I can just get my thoughts fixed up the right way then leaving will not be necessary…
    Obviously I’m not talking about extreme situations (such as physical abuse), I think in those situations it’s pretty obvious what needs to be done…
    I guess the thing to do is to implement all of the above steps, like the appreciation and the remembering and so on, and then if leaving still seems like the best thing, that’s what you do. But it’s still difficult to know when it’s the right moment. I’d be interested to hear anybody else’s thoughts on this…

    • Jeannette says:

      Here’s what I do, Honeymoon, when I’m not sure whether to stay or go …
      I tune myself to the vision of what I want. Happy relationship, wonderful partner, growing and enjoying life together, delicious love, tons of support and appreciation, etc. etc.
      I tune into that, and I know that Universe will make the appropriate adjustments.
      So if my current guy isn’t in line with what I’m visioning, Universe will make it clear that he’s got to go. On the other hand, if he is in alignment with what I’ve got in mind, Universe will make that clear, too.
      So it isn’t for ME to decide. It’s just for me to get clear and focused on what I want. Universe will close whatever gaps exist to make it so.
      Make sense?

  • Mia says:

    Thanks for this great selection of tips, Jeannette!
    They come in handy for me as I’ve had trouble with a family member for quite a few months now. It’s especially sad because we used to get on so well and I don’t really know what the problem is …
    I did try quite a few of your suggestions before but the problems keep coming back … What also helped me are the teachings of Buddhism – sending loving kindness, reminding myself to be more compassionate and mindful. Being aware of the fact that none of us are perfect and that human relationships are not always easy – but it isn’t necessarily all my fault.
    I loved what you wrote about your partner:
    “The first time I laid eyes on Russ I had a strong sensation of coming home. It felt like I’d been on vacation all my life and I’d finally returned home sweet home.”
    How did you manifest such a loving relationship? Care to share some tips? 🙂 I’m not necessarily looking for a romantic partner but a good friend like that would be wonderful to have.
    Thank you!

  • Julie says:

    I saw Bob Thursday, its been an age. Anyway on Thursdays there is another bloke I know called Robert, I have known him for years but he only works one day a week and that is Thursday. He parks near me and we walked up to the station entrance and walked in. Anyway the train comes in and Robert has disappeared down the platform I beeped open the door, turns round and see Bob up the platform, I didn’t see him come in. Then I wasn’t in Friday.
    Today, he was there and we more or less got to the entrance together. He could barely speak to me, I was trying to make some sort of conversation and it was like he didn’t want to know. In the end I had to give up as it was really embarrassing. I got on the train and felt really daft. I just think he’s jealous of Thursday (which is ridiculous), he doesn’t know how to handle it at all. I just cannot take all that, its so stupid. I felt an idiot.
    The one thing I really liked was seeing him and when we spoke for ages a while ago and were close up, it really made my day and I thought it would continue but clearly not. I’m so fed up. I know it would have made my life even more of a mess if he had taken it further but now its even worse, a complete mess. I’ll just have to carry on going into the station as if Bob never happened.

    • Jeannette says:

      You know what I’d be doing, Julie? Using it as a chance to focus on what you want.
      For me, that would include something like “comfortable, secure men.” Or whatever the opposite of awkward and jealous is. “Enjoyable romances.” “Easy relationships.” “Great times!” Mm, I can feel it moving already. 🙂
      Thanks for reading and for commenting, Julie.

  • Ena says:

    Jeannette, I agree those are the crucial ways to follow if you feel your relationship is not in the best place… Especially number 10, which most of us rejects…
    We should always stay open to the possibility that our current partner might just not be the best match for us, and allow the Universe to bring someone better…
    So, our only job in all the cases is, in fact, to raise our vibration as much as we can, let go and trust Life..

    • Jeannette says:

      That is so true, Ena! In fact, what I had to do was be open enough to see that my current ex-partner was the match for what I’d been asking. That one was more difficult for me to accept than being able to let him go!
      Here’s to being open and trusting Life, as you said. 🙂

  • Ian RoeBuck says:

    I found your list to be great, people who follow these points will not fail at relationships. Great list!

    • Jeannette says:

      Thank you, Dr. Ian. I agree with your assessment that following these practices would make it very difficult to fail at a relationship. ha

  • Barbara says:

    Wow, Jeannette! This is so awesome! While I do practice many of these things on the list, I think I’m going to try #9 more often. There’s probably some baggage there that could get a move on! lol Really LOVE how you explain things so clearly, too. Hugs, Barbara

  • Monica says:

    Indeed Raji, I feel the same way 🙂 Thank you Jeannette, these are really good and I’m already putting them to good use!

    • Jeannette says:

      Me too, Monica!
      This morning I could feel a grumble beginning about something Russ didn’t do … wow, I love that I’ve forgotten what it was! Because I remembered this post and instead made a point of thinking of three things I appreciated from him. He cleaned up the cat throwup himself and wasn’t even ornery about it; it’s so cute how he sits with the foster kitties for a while at the end of every day (whether I’m there or not); and he gave the dogs all their pills this morning so that was one less thing for me to do.
      I often accuse him of being quick to notice what’s wrong instead of what’s right, and I have to say this is a good chance for me to set the example of living life with a helpful focus. 🙂

  • Raji says:

    You are a mind reader at least to me. Anytime i am dealing with a question, and i am inspired to open your blog, your post is an answer to my exact question.
    Bless you Jeannette…..

  • Nicole says:

    This is BEAUTIFUL. I’m going to put all of it on my daily to-do list.

    • Jeannette says:

      I know you’ve mastered a couple of these already, right, Nicole? You’ve inspired me before with some of these skills! 🙂

      • Nicole says:

        Ah, yes! I had forgotten… thanks for the reminder! 🙂 🙂 🙂
        I particularly like #9, when other people spontaneously start to act as if your positively-recalled negative past actually happened. The more people who remember a changed past… the more changed the past actually becomes 🙂

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