1,000 Calorie Cake

Yesterday I had the rare treat of sharing lunch with dad and brother at the same table.  How fun!
We went to Macaroni Grill and I ordered the warm spinach salad.  (With garlic and goat cheese – mm mm!!)
But I only ate half to save room for dessert: “rich chocolate cake topped with homemade ganache and pecan pieces” with chilled whipping cream on the side.  Seriously, the description doesn’t do it justice – it’s delish!
Dad orders some lemon cake thing that sounds good, but I know he’s gonna wish he had chocolate.
My brother doesn’t order dessert; I’m thinking it’s because he’s happy to share ours.
The fabulous waitress brings two desserts and three forks and I can hardly believe how mouth-watering the cake looks. 
(I’m such a smart girl to have only eaten half my salad!  And what was dad thinking?!  Lemon?  Sure it’s good, but compared to chocolate?!  Oh my.  Rookie move, dad.)
Dad and I offer to share with brother, but he fends off yet another invitation by responding with a finger pointed to my cake, as if it were poison straight from the devil, “This is 1,000 calories” and pointing to dad’s, “That’s 200.”
For a moment my head spun.
He knows the calorie counts?!  That’s bad enough.  Even worse: he cares?!   
It spins even more when it registers: wait, this cake is a thousand calories?  Oh, that sounds like a lot.
Who brainwashed my brother into believing chocolate cake or 1,000 calories are bad things?!  Did his skinny wife trick him into not enjoying food any more?!
Apparently so.  He’s not having even a single bite.  He’s for real.
Did he die and go to hell?
Or maybe is an alien?
Or … was my brother the only smart one at the table?
Maybe I was a bad influence, running amok in life.
His wife is very thin, even after five kids.  Is that how she does it?
I thought about it today as I finished the rest of my (now deliciously cold) spinach salad.  (He was right that it would keep well.)  I realized that chocolate cake was important enough to me that even if 1,000 calories were a bad thing – I’m on board.
But it made me wonder, what am I vibrating that I can share a table with someone who judges 1,000 calories and deprives himself of the pleasure of chocolate cake?  (Or even lemon cake, if chocolate doesn’t float his boat.)

Which, I will say, dad did eat half the chocolate cake.  Told you so.

We know how this works – if I see it in another, that means I’ve got it in me.  And if I’m depriving myself of life’s pleasures, I want to know about it!   
It made me think of Abraham’s track the other day about how if you’re surrounded by needy people, that doesn’t necessarily mean you’re needy, too, but that you do have needy activated somehow.  Maybe it’s that you strongly don’t want to be around needy people.  Either way, somehow needy is activated in you.
So, what was I sensing at the lunch table?  Judging and deprivation.  How might I be flowing that? 

And if to you that sounded wise and willpowery, that just goes to show we don’t have the same vibes flowing.  Or the same taste in dessert.

Easy answer once I looked: I was judging someone who seemed to be depriving life pleasure.
Enjoyment is one of my core values.  There’s not a dog’s head I’m not gonna scratch when I pass by, or a single great song I’m not singing out loud when I feel the urge, nor a fabulous rain storm that doesn’t make me say, “gosh, what a gorgeous day!” when I skip out to check the mail.
Which means I’m likely gonna get wet, I might get fat (if I believe in 1,000 calories) and I’m certainly going to embarrass myself singing out loud.
My tombstone should maybe read: “She loved life!”  If it says that, I went to my grave a happy girl.
So instead of judging my brother as the poor guy who doesn’t let himself enjoy 1,000 calorie cake, I’m going to practice some live and let live
Like Abraham says, life’s a buffet.  We’re not all gonna do it the same way, and we’ll enjoy it way more when we don’t blame others for their choices.
So he’s not wrong for skipping dessert; the terrorists aren’t wrong for blowing up buildings; the child molesters aren’t wrong for .. dang, that one trips me up every time. 
But I get the gist and I see my chance.  To love life even more by letting others do it their way.  There’s no right, no wrong … just more cake for me. 

  • March 4, 2010
  • Dana - Your Inspired Coach says:

    Susan, you are so cool! I love that. You should be the “Mind Your Own Business Coach.” Susan Cohen will help you mind your own business. Let me tell you I think of you whenever I am judging or find myself stuck in someone else’s junk. 🙂 I just came to the same conclusion you just said about warring today when I was trying to explain to someone how their railing against something was just creating more of it. It is, but it’s not my business, and my railing against him railing against it is just making me see more people with causes and fights to fight.
    Tia, I think you’re right. I’m on to what you’re sniffin, Sweetheart. Sometimes it isn’t about us at all, but what the other person is co-creating, and sometimes we pull in things that are the same frequency but not the same thought at all. Could have nothing to do with cake. I’m so proud of you baking over there. We don’t do our midnight cake talk anymore.
    Roger, nicely played. I do the same thing. Wait til everyone else orders, order something they didn’t order so I can try everything! I love good food.
    Jeannette, the cake sounds devine! I wondered if you didn’t start cooking too! You’re so good at having fun and enjoying life. Always a joy to read and sometimes instead of asking what Abe would say, I ask myself what Jeannette would say.

  • Dana - Your Inspired Coach says:

    Oh, and Janette, I might start using your
    so cute! 😀

  • Dana - Your Inspired Coach says:

    Um, how do you have your photos up there, gals? 🙁

  • Dani Webb says:

    Love this Jeannette! Inspiring post!
    (Help me with the “it’s not wrong for terrorists to blow up buildings”???) You lost me there….

  • Well, the way I figure it – what am I gonna do with the judgment, Dani? No matter how I get there, it’s resistance, right? And that resistance isn’t going to help anyone or anything. (Since it would only make stronger whatever I deem as “wrong.”)
    And plus, it’s pretty cocky for me to say what’s right and what’s wrong – who am I to know?
    I mean, I’m the girl who would have wished away her best friend’s DUI ten years ago when that’s exactly what led him to his dream come true life. (I posted about that in GVU the other day; it’s still on my mind.)
    So I’m still learning to drop the whole “right” and “wrong” thing – but I did that routine full time long enough to realize it’s not the way to go. For me. Anyway. lol
    So I even get to make peace with those who fight, even though the fight isn’t something I believe works.
    I almost did it again, there!!
    The opportunities to nail this are everywhere! lol

  • Janette says:

    Oh, amen to live and let live!
    And – as usual – completely pertinent to what I’m experiencing right now.
    Sadly, I don’t mean chocolate cake (though personally, I’m with your dad on the lemon decision). What I mean is judging the energy of those around me.
    Just this morning, on the way to work, I was listening to an Abraham workshop and thinking to myself “here I am writing and editing articles about victories against bullies in the workplace, excessive workloads, stress-related injuries and dodgy contracts … no wonder I have a workplace injury, stress and a weird relationship with my boss!!”
    Wow! Well done Janette, great way to keep creating more of the same, LOL!
    Thank you for giving me the wriggle room I need, so that while I am still in this job I can do it professionally, recognise that at some level I still have struggle flowing, yet free myself from being IN struggle.
    I know that as soon as I release that struggle energy completely, I will be ready to release the job and the next amazing adventure will begin. The struggle gremlins are still clinging to my ankles and I will find a way for them to feel safe letting go .
    Meanwhile right now, this minute, it’s enough to simply feel that, loosening of the grip, the slip of their paws against my skin.
    Thank you! You are the undisputed Queen of Wriggle!!

  • Oooh, Janette, here’s to freeing yourself from being IN struggle and YAY to allowing the next adventure by doing so!
    And I think you get that Queen of Wriggle title for yourself, girlfriend. 🙂

  • Coach T.I.A says:

    Cute 🙂 I baked a cake last night, at MIDNIGHT and by 4p today, half gone! I esp love the crusty edges so eat them first. And I think that it’s not always about what we’re flowing either – YOU still had your cake and ate it too!
    It’s your brother that missed out but perhaps he doesn’t think he did? Perception is everything. I once dated a guy who was very strict about his food and I thought he was totally boring and anal to do that BUT it gave him pleasure to know he was looking after his body the way he wanted to so who am I to judge.
    In that case, I don’t think I was flowing ‘non-enjoyment’, rather, I was flowing “fun AND health” so both were present – me making up for the FUN component and him providing the health component (in my eyes).
    Same with your bro maybe? You’re vibing health too and thus attracting his company even though it may seem completely loopy. Get what I’m sniffin’ here? 😉

  • I would love to live with someone who both baked cake, and like crusty edges. And is as fun AND wise as you, Tia.
    I like the loopy perspective, as well as the thought that he’s having even more fun than me.
    He deserves it. 🙂

  • Janette says:

    Oh, and while I too struggle with the child molesters and terrorist – I find it helps to try and imagine just how much pain they must be in, to act out their disconnected-from-Self energy in such extreme ways. Once I can do that, I can see them as I think Source must see them, with compassion. They are just very, very lost souls.

  • Besides that, Janette, who else is gonna give us such great contrast?! (Which gives birth to new desires and fuels the whole system.)
    They do a good job of that!

  • Coach T.I.A says:

    “”what am I vibrating that I can share a table with someone who judges 1,000 calories and deprives himself of the pleasure of chocolate cake? If I see it in another, that means I’ve got it in me. And if I’m depriving myself of life’s pleasures, I want to know about it!”
    — Nooo! Apart from what I just wrote, what IF:
    1) He was vibing fun and got you eating cake for lunch?
    2) He isn’t depriving himself, he’s feeding one of HIS values which he cherishes?
    3) It has nothing to do with you depriving yourself of anything but both your vibes meeting in the middle?
    Sometimes we take this “if this is around me it must be ME” thing way too seriously. Jus sayin’ 😉

  • Roger says:

    I got to try the lemon poundcake plus eat half of the chocolate cake. Chocolate cake just doesn’t describe that dessert very well, it was delicious. Rookie move, hah! Thanks again for lunch, Love, Roger

  • Touche. You’re the guy who had TWO desserts at one lunch! lol
    I’ll follow your lead next time, Grasshopper.

  • PurePotential says:

    Excellent blog Jeannette. This is a clear example of your brother being in your business and vice versa….lots of judgment. I love when that happens to me and helps to remind me to stay in my business. The consequence of releasing judgement for me is happiness, pure and simple.
    Byron Katie speaks to the consequences of judgment and believing your judgment of others
    “Now, instead of trying to change the world around me (this didn’t work, but only for 43 years), I can put the thoughts on paper, investigate them, turn them around, and find that I am the very thing I thought you were. In the moment I see you as selfish, I am selfish (deciding how you should be). In the moment I see you as unkind, I am unkind. If I believe you should stop waging war, I am waging war on you in my mind.”
    BTW, according to the Macaroni Grill website the cake conrains 1180 calories – the best part is in the underestimating 180 calories – LOL

  • Holy freaking hannah – 1180?! rofl
    Well, before I read THAT part of your comment, Susan, I was especially loving this: “I am the very thing I thought you were.”
    Mmm, indeed – I still do.
    Have I told you lately how much I love you? I would even share some of my 1180 calorie cake with you.
    OMG!! lol
    I thought 1,000 might be an exaggeration. lol It’s not! Instead it just keeps getting better!!
    Sheesh, what a cool world.

  • PurePotential says:

    Woo Hoo for Roger! And Jeannette judged your choice as a rookie move, HA! A master manifester move!

  • Dana, you’re brilliant in a million ways. (Just read your comment at the Nuggets of Wisdom post.)
    And I bought mindyourownbusinesscoach.com for Susan (awaiting your transfer instructions, my friend). That one was too good to pass up!
    Although I have yet to find an exception when it wasn’t about me. Just sayin’ – if I’m not vibing it, it can’t be part of my world. So if it’s in my world, it’s part of me.
    How could an exception exist?

  • janny226 says:

    That sounds delicious. I have a hard time not judging my sister because she *hates* chocolate chip cookies….meanwhile I’d live on them if I could. It’s a good thing I love her so much!

  • I just can’t help but think something got seriously screwy in the wiring of someone who doesn’t like kittens, puppies and chocolate chip cookies. lol
    (Sort of.)
    Thanks for posting, Janny! I don’t know who you are, but I like you already.

  • Annette says:

    More cake for you!
    I don’t care a squished marshmallow (haha) about calories, but I don’t much care for either cake or chocolate!
    Ha!~ where’s your judgment now??? If you’re thinking I am a goof, then my work here is done!
    Seriously and for true, chocolate and cake are . . . ok, I guess, but is there not any strawberry about? Or a shrimp? or (oh the secretiveness of this confession!) a carob-coated coffee bean?? m m m m m mmmmmmmmm
    I think your brother was taken aback by your unabashed enjoyment. And good for him! Enjoyment is to be relished, as often as possible!!
    I also agree with pointing our fingers at things we believe are ‘wrong’ – it just gives power and attention to the things we point at!
    They give us clarity on where to spend more attention: solving international disputes with peace and understanding; loving, guiding and cherishing the children; making meals a celebration instead of a fuel intake stop.
    And Roger gets 5 stars for his deft use of desires!!

  • Well, you do have CHEETAHS, though, Annette – and that makes up for all the dessert in the world.
    All right, I’m going to be 100% honest because I think it’s highly unlikely my brother would ever find this post or read this far in the comments …
    … it wasn’t so much that he wasn’t eating lemon or chocolate cake, but that it was rather hard to see where ANY of the pleasure was.
    Yes, I am not privy to my brother’s life, and I’m sure there’s lots of pleasure somewhere (he has five kids and is an absolutely adoring father, from what I hear) – so I realize I was being judgmental without knowing any of the facts … but really, despite my joke above about people who don’t like chocolate chip cookies – I have nothing against people who don’t intake sugar.
    But … could we intake LIFE? Could we get excited about SOMETHING? There is SO much to be enjoyed here!
    And it’s right under our noses!! Calories be damned – let’s have a good time!!
    But wait – I realize even in typing this how wrong I was. Because he talked about fast cars and motorcycles with a glean in his eye (is that what it is? a glean?) that would make any life-lover proud.
    I stand corrected, dear brother. I saw it. Life is good.
    I was just overly immersed in my cake, I guess, and almost missed it. lol

  • Annette says:

    DANA: photos are enabled through gravatar.com. Go there, sign up, and your pic and when you post to certain sites like this one, your picture magically appears when you hit ‘submit’!!
    I too like ‘headdesk’! So succinctly picturesque!

  • Greg Blencoe says:

    I think you got your answers by the end of the post, but here are a few comments.
    Here is a thought:
    You were depriving yourself of pleasure at that moment by judging them about depriving themselves.
    Also, not everybody thinks of chocolate cake in the same way. Some people have positive views about other food and negative views about chocolate. Everybody is so different.
    But you got what you wanted and that is what matters! And since it doesn’t sound like you have negative thoughts about chocolate cake, you aren’t likely to have any negative consequences.
    Here is another comment that stood out:
    “But it made me wonder, what am I vibrating that I can share a table with someone who judges 1,000 calories and deprives himself of the pleasure of chocolate cake?”
    I think you have to give yourself a bit of a break here. We don’t choose our Dad or our brothers/sisters (though some might say we do and I may agree, but that is a longer conversation). Therefore, I think it would be different if this were a group of your friends. Also, this may just be an isolated incident.
    However, if all of your friends were people that deprived themselves all the time, then I definitely could see this as being an issue.
    Your comment about live and let live reminded me of something Wayne Dyer said in a DVD that I watched this past weekend.
    He said:
    Row, row, row YOUR boat (not somebody else’s boat!!!) gently down the stream, merrily, merrily, merrily, merrily, life is but a dream

  • It sounds like we might be of the same mindset, Greg, that we DO choose key players in our lives beforehand. I’m pretty sure this particular dad and this particular brother were no accident.
    But that’s just the thought I like best so it’s the one I go with. 🙂
    Thanks for posting, Greg!

  • Amy says:

    It seems as if, perhaps, your Dad and your brother were mirroring two aspects of yours and showing your discord? Unabashed enjoyment of yummy dessert, and the fear of the consequences? Perhaps there is a grain of fear left in you? And were you judgmental of your brother, or defensive of your action/feeling guilty about the cake? Just some thoughts, just wondering…
    I ask out of curiosity. I have found myself in a similar situation. For instance, once, while enjoying a salad from the salad bar, two of my lunch companions went on and on AND ON about how much salad dressing I put on my salad. At first I just ignored it, wanting to just let it go, but after a while, I thought, wow, they are still going!!!!! Why do they care? Why do I care that they care?
    Calories is an interesting topic, and on my mind a lot these days. I am skinny again, after having gotten fat for the second time. I know about LOA this time. My mind keeps going back to the Abe info about making peace with food before you eat it. I am asking myself if what I want to eat is in keeping with my goal (for lack of a better word.) Not every time, but much more often than I used to. Part of me has been rebellious about food! No one can tell me what I can and can’t eat!! And that’s the ornery energy I’d eat “unhealthy” food in. But, there is also the element of wondering what others will think if I eat certain foods in front of them. I haven’t worked on that one, one step at a time!
    Loved this one, thanks, Jeanette. Heck, I love them all…

  • That did cross my mind, Amy. I didn’t like that thought much – ha – but, yeah. It did cross my mind.
    And trust me, I was at peace with my cake before, during and after. And I can’t wait to have it again. I have it every time.
    All 1180 calories of it. (Next time dad will need to order his own.) ha
    I’m the girl who used to eat over 4,000 calories a day (regularly) and didn’t gain any weight at all. And the girl whose two dogs who gained weight once we started calorie restrictions. So I of all people know how ridiculous the traditional thoughts around calories are. I didn’t even need to learn that from Abraham to know it.
    And yet – there it was. So interesting!
    Glad you brought it up, Amy, as I’m sure others were thinking the same thing.

  • Dana - Your Inspired Coach says:

    Thanks @Annette! I will do that.
    @Greg, I believe we do choose our parents for the unique sets of expertise they have that squarely challenge us in exactly the ways we wanted to be challenged and expanded before we were born into the bodies and lives we have. I would venture to guess our siblings are soul mates of sorts, partnering up with us in mischief for eons in different capacities. I even read an animal intuitive’s interpretation of a dog whose spirit had followed the spirit of the woman who owned it for many lifetimes, and she said that is quite common.
    Where are Bridgette or Susan when you post on chocolate cake and calories? 🙂 My sweetie’s sister tells us how many calories is in everything and gives us books that tell us to “eat this, not that.” She even tells me to change my cooking for her brother because she worries about his weight and she gave us work out items for Christmas. I think we all attract some of this, but I wonder how much of it is their business.

  • Dana, I like how you described the relationship to family (they’re soulmates, too) and how we choose those who best help us grow and expand.
    Even while I laugh at the thought of your sweetie’s sister giving out books with eating instructions, I realize I’ve probably done the same thing in my past! lol
    And from that standpoint I can concur that I gave those gifts at times when I was the one concerned about food. Not because I knew they were.
    (Kind of funny that no matter HOW I look at it, it’s always about me.) !
    Thanks for posting on this, girlfriend.

  • Jessica says:

    I have a couple quotes that came to mind!
    “Nothing tastes as good as thin feels”. My mom had that posted on her fridge for the longest time. Maybe its still there. She may just be trying to inspire herself, but I know what that vibration feels like. It’s the place where you simply do not even crave the stuff that doesn’t vibrate “thin”. When in that place, there is no right or wrong, or is hard to resist. Nope. It just feels GREAT to eat certain things, and not great to eat other things. 😉
    The other quote came from my sister, although she got it from somewhere- and read this TWICE (or more) so you can think about it. “Add resentment to discernment and what you’ve got is judgment.” Hmm. Good one. You can make an observation that lacks inner friction and it’s called discernment. Just because we observe something, doesn’t mean that we’ve got it. It really depends on if there is resentment or that inner conflict. I love being in a place of discernment, where I can observe with unbridled curiosity! It is FUN to notice how and what others are doing. It is how I learn about myself. Does it mean I am judging? Only when I am resentful or jealous. Then it isn’t fun anymore and I am not learning!
    Awesome, fun and comical post! Love your energy!!

  • Jessica, I can totally relate to this: “It is FUN to notice how and what others are doing. It is how I learn about myself.”
    The world is a great mirror, huh?
    And that’s a great quote from your sister. Thanks for sharing it here!

  • leslie richter says:

    Sorry Jeannette but you have been had by that Dad of yours – why order chocolate cake when you can have both! I greatly admire and love the two of you because you both know what needs to be enjoyed.
    Obviously your brother has a different realm of enjoyment, yeah skinny. And here is how we walk in this world with other realms of reality. Love ’em but don’t take them on, in other words if their concepts don’t make you feel happy you really don’t have to take them on.
    I think sometimes as well we need to pay attention but not dwell in the energy that comes up. Recently I mailed birthday money to both sons. One lost his and the other never received his. I didn’t save the tracking papers because Harold had received his cheque. And Brian well he is the engineer in the family and you know he isn’t going to lose his!
    Ridiculous. I was bummed for awhile but decided to change the energy around this, obviously there was a “grounding” issue and a red flag around deserving. So I am sending a new message to my two sons, how they both deserve the money, how I love them and how wonderful it is to go to lunch and have both chocolate and lemon cake all in one lunch.

  • Wise, wise words here, Leslie: “Love ‘em but don’t take them on.”
    Gave me goose bumps!
    Thanks for posting, and I totally see that now how dad’s got it all figured out. lol

  • Barbara says:

    Excellent post again, Jeannette! There’s a lot to ponder here. I love how @PurePotential says this is an opportunity to remind her to “stay in her business.”
    This is a “hot topic” for me. Your brother’s comments reminds me of how many people talk about food at my job. People bring in food all the time–and most of the time, it’s candy or cakes. All that sweet stuff! 😉
    Suffice it to say, I hear a lot of ‘judgment’ around food everyday. I hear about calories, fat grams, and a whole lot of judgment about how they can’t eat that, new diets people are on, etc. And I find myself “in their business” by judging them because I know in my soul that it’s about how we feel about the food that matters. Yet I am very aware of my added padding on my body, and that I haven’t made the progress I’ve wanted to “show them.” That’s it, really. Wow. I have been vibrating an “I’ll show them I’m right” attitude. Amazing stuff that happens here while writing comments in your fabulous blog!
    So I am vibrating my own judgment to have that in my world. While I’ve been doing my own work in this area, I obviously could benefit from techniques that assist me in “minding my own business.” So reminding myself to “mind my own business” is definitely something that I can use. (This would be a good one for me to ask for some laser coaching on at GVU!)
    In the meantime, I’m wondering how you can get your hands on that recipe for that chocolate cake? 😉

  • Dana - Your Inspired Coach says:

    I agree with you, there are no exceptions. You were vibrating it for sure, but you may not have been vibrating about enjoying cake or food or what was happening at the table. You just might have had a similar frequency going on and that drew it in.
    For example, you can never ever think of having an accident, but if you’re vibrating at that frequency with your thoughts about something entirely different you can draw in someone with a similar vibration and have a little fender bender that nobody had in mind in any way, right?
    See what I mean? 🙂

  • Dana - Your Inspired Coach says:

    And WOW I can’t believe you bought the mindyourownbusiensscoach.com for Susan! That is awesome. How does Susan feel about that?
    Thanks for the nice compliment too, J!

  • Now THAT’S my favorite question so far, Barbara! (“How can I get my hands on that recipe!”) lol
    And of course I couldn’t agree more that it’s about how we feel about the food rather than the food itself.
    I appreciate your giving that truth a spotlight here. It’s one often missed by those who don’t question the conditioning our traditional culture passes on.
    Thanks for posting, Barbara. Every time I read you I feel my vibe going up a few notches.

  • Yes, very likely, Dana – some sort of similar frequency drawing it in.
    In fact, I DID get rear-ended by someone a few years ago when I was feeling not enough space in my schedule.
    Funny how creative Universe is in answering whatever vibe we’ve got going. lol

  • Brigitte says:

    That’s EXACTLY what I’ve been doing lately.
    Whenever I catch myself about to eat 987198217298719-calorie something, I stop and think about it, and then I say to myself:
    It’s probably not the chocolate that will make me fat, but the THOUGHT of it making me fat, and not enjoying it at all! So I’ll eat WHATEVER I want and ENJOY it and think as a skinny would do.
    My mother happens to be very skinny and a food lover AT THE SAME TIME. She eats a lot. She doesn’t count calories. She eats whatever she wants and doesn’t give it a thought, she just… listens to her stomach. And gives it what it wants. 🙂 I’m inspired by her.

  • I’m inspired by your mom, too, Brigitte!! (Goose bumps again!)
    Yeah, that’s exactly what I aspire to as well. I hereby today officially intend to attract more role models of that behavior and understanding in life, rather than believing it’s uncommon sense.
    Enjoying what we eat – whatEVER that is – that’s the ticket, isn’t it?
    Thanks for posting, Brigitte!

  • Laura says:

    Jeannette, I really enjoy your posts and I think you have some amazing insights on how to apply LOA. I’ve been reading your stuff for a while now and I’ve heard you mention your battle with the weight issue many times. As I read this post I couldn’t help hearing your resistance on the topic.
    First you perceive your bother’s pointing out the calorie count of your dessert as judgment. I don’t know your brother but, maybe it was a judgment and maybe he was just re-enforcing for himself his own decision not to partake. Later, you categorize your brother’s skipping dessert along with acts of terrorism and child molesting! It’s interesting that those were the examples that came to mind.
    I believe I’ve heard Abraham say that when you’re in alignment with source you won’t go out and do harm to people. So, I would say that the terrorist is probably pretty out of alignment but who was your brother hurting? You seem to assume that he was hurting himself but, that’s your perception. I can tell you as a person who often chooses to skip dessert that there can be joy in doing that. I think, ya I might like that chocolate cake (and yes I love chocolate) but what I really want is to be lean and fit. Not having the cake might bug me for a few moments but, then I’m thinking “whew, dodged that bullet… can’t wait to fit into those skinny jeans, I’m gonna look so good in a swimsuit…” and I’m happy and I’m feeling good and I’m moving in the direction I really want.
    Maybe wondering what’s off in your vibration that caused you to attract someone who denies himself the pleasure of chocolate cake is the wrong approach. Maybe you attracted your calorie counting lunch companion because this is a new path for you. Maybe this was opportunity knocking. Here is someone who could help you learn about how to eat right and give you support. Maybe it would serve you better to get in alignment with healthy eating and exercise. It’s possible to love eating food that vibrates skinny. It’s possible to love getting a good workout every day.
    I know that not wanting cake is inconceivable but, haven’t you ever been with a guy that you were madly in love with, you broke up, then saw him again 10 years later and thought, “wow, I don’t even find him attractive anymore, I can’t believe how hung up on him I was.” That can happen with cake. Anything is possible right? Besides it’s not really the cake you want. It’s the pleasure.

  • Laura, we probably have a basic difference in thought about the role that food and calories play in our weight, although I do sometimes wonder if I will always love chocolate as much as I do now when I’m at different vibrations.
    Know what I mean? Like, sometimes a song sounds great when I’m in a particular mood, but in a different mood, I can’t even listen to it.
    But I think it’s safe to say I’m pretty well dialed in on chocolate these days. That one never wavers much.
    And, some might see it differently (obviously you do), but I wouldn’t say that I have (or ever have had) a battle with weight.
    I have had a few battles in my life, but weight hasn’t been one of them. Even when I protested against the rodeo and the fur stores, it didn’t qualify as “battle” in my mind. (I’ve got a pretty long spectrum in mind of what resistance looks like, and while I’m fully aware I engage it frequently, I don’t get to the “battle” end very often.)
    Couple interesting exceptions there, ha – but they are exceptions. 🙂

  • Robin says:

    Hi, Jeannette, I’ve recently started reading your blog and THANK YOU for posting about that Abraham-Hicks stuff. I went to the library and got some of their cd’s and have been listening in the car every day. I highly highly recommend these to anyone who wants to improve what they attract. I have been listening nonstop to the Secret and to some Wallace Wattles books and those were great, but the Abraham-Hicks talks **really** give a lot of practical application and different ways to look at LOA. Anyway, I had two situations where I just though “these people are jerks, why do I have to be the one to change?” and I could not get away from these people. Well I tried changing my attitude, and GUESS what! Yes, things are a million percent better with both of these people. So thanks again, sorry for the novel here.

  • Robin, don’t you love when that happens?! (Changing your mind and then getting new results!)
    Glad you found your way to the Abe material, and super grateful for the big thumbs up you’re giving that here, so others who aren’t familiar may also be inspired to check it out.
    Thanks for reading, and especially for posting. (That was far from a novel, but even if it was, I’d be glad to hear it from you.)

  • And to think I considered this post not to be comment-worthy when I published it. lol

  • Gorgeousophie says:

    Wow?! Where is my post?! Jeannette, have you seen my post?! I just posted and it vanished! Gaaaaaaaa! *headdesk* toooooo!

  • That sucks, Gorgeousophie, but truth be told, I’m happy just seeing your picture here!
    Huge love, my friend.

  • livingtheloa says:

    You are too brilliant.
    When i judge others for being judgmental (ouch – who hasn’t been guilty of that one??!!??) I get more judgmental people in my experience…..and so the cycle continues.
    Here’s to breaking cycles!!

  • Here’s to breaking cycles, indeed, LivingtheLOA! I’m totally with you on that!
    Thanks for reading and especially for posting.

  • Stacy @ Wealth For Everyone says:

    Awesome about the part from Abraham about not being needy but resisting neediness that brings needy people into your experience. THAT explains a lot to me as I never bought into the idea of when you see something about someone you don’t like it means it’s something you don’t like in yourself. I much more like the idea that seeing that component in someone else is only because you resist that so much it couldn’t help but show up. So much more downstream for me.

  • Very cool you experience that as downstream, Stacy! I know for many that still shows up as frustrating. ha
    But I love seeing it through your eyes … as downstream.
    Thanks for contributing to the conversation, Stacy!

  • gemstone says:

    Nothing to add… just enjoying this dialog.
    I’ve also had that cake at Macaroni Grill, and it IS divine! Worth every calorie!

  • It IS, Gemstone, isn’t it?!! Not your average chocolate cake, for sure.
    So … I just talked to my brother, after I talked to dad and mentioned, “hey dad, by the way, I’m sure my brother would never read the blog, but be sure not to mention it …” and dad says, “Your blog? I just showed it to him!”
    For REAL?! For real.
    So he puts brother on the phone, who shares that he just finished delicious birthday cake and ice cream with the folks and the kids. And that he’s enjoying the conversation here at the blog about our lunch.
    Says that the reason he didn’t have dessert the other day was just that he was enjoying lunch so much that he didn’t need any dessert to enjoy it more.
    Sheesh – could I get a better brother??
    And then it reminds me how I just mentioned to a client tonight that we do a HUGE disservice when we underestimate others in what we think they’re ready to hear.
    And there I was cautioning dad to make sure not to mention blog post to brother.
    Nice lesson for Jeannette tonight. 🙂

  • Amy says:

    I believe you about being able to eat 4,000 calories per day and not gain weight!! When I was overweight, for years I could eat anything I wanted, not exercise and my weight never varied more than 2 pounds! My weight never fluctuated until, like your two dogs, I started dieting and working out. Fascinating.
    You have found a really charged topic here!
    It is a very individual journey. I love how carefree you are about it all, and I love learning from your example. Thanks!!

  • Amy, I totally get it. It wasn’t until my thoughts changed that my weight did, too.
    The calories and the exercise didn’t make the difference. Positive or negative.
    Thanks for seeing and mentioning the carefree attitude – I’m putting a spotlight on that for future benefit.

  • leslie richter says:

    Could you get a more cheekier Dad – already had shown the post to your brother, while your brother eats birthday cake and ice cream no less – gotta love those Maws.
    Underestimating others and what they are ready to hear, interesting point Jeannette. And really why do we worry about that, if it doesn’t fit they won’t put it on.
    Recently my Mom has been hallucinating about homeless bums up the hill stealing tools from my husband’s shop site. Okay embarrassing to share but you know it could happen (but we are in the country with woods in the backyard). To humor her and to keep it safe for her I insisted my husband take a look. Nothing was taken or moved and in his matter of fact, black and white way told her so.
    What she says to me, was I hallucinating? I say nothing being the coward I am. But I watch the wheels
    turn as she thinks about it and then turfs the idea out.
    I confess it cracks me up.

  • Gorgeousophie says:

    LOLOL! Honestly! Is there another place on earth* where you just have to show your face to get huge love?! How delightful is that?! Thank you Jeannette, am also giggling at the image of your Daddy, brother and the kids all having ice cream and reading your post! *Waaah!*. Guess it is just as well that my post got lost hey!? Another wink from Da Big U! HUGE love back to you!
    *Well I guess that everywhere we go, it is our very purpose – another lesson and a potential other blog post or GVU thread from Master Maw!?

  • risa says:

    Interesting topic. I have skinny sister who can eat anything she wants (and she does). In fact, we used to make fun of how she could put away the ribs when she was younger. I remember one day her telling me that she thought she was gaining weight, and then she “felt herself skinny” when she was standing in front of the mirror with her hand on her hip. I thought that was very interesting.
    On another note I myself don’t like dessert, but people don’t believe me when I pass it up! They most often think I’m depriving myself when I simply have a lighter, natural palete. Go figure.

  • Greg Blencoe says:

    Yes, I think we actually agree that we choose the families that we come into. My guess is that they are there to help us learn lots of spiritual lessons.
    For example, if one is related to a very negative person, this contrast can really help aid spiritual growth.
    I COMPLETELY agree that the Abraham-Hicks information is incredible.

  • MissyB says:

    I’ve yet to read the above posts – that’s something to savour in a mo.
    This resonates with me and might explain my pants week (GVU members will understand). I’ve become judgemental of some others because they do not work or contribute as I do at work. I have always been shown my shortcomings and have tried to work on them, yet my colleagues’ shortcomings seem to be ignored – except by me. Thanks for the post – I see some areas I can work on.
    As for the cake – well I read on a blog somewhere, don’t eat the food you like, eat the food you LOVE ! I’d have skipped the salad and gone straight for the cake :o)

  • WaniT says:

    I’m fairly new at this deliberate creation business (and I’ve never commented on a blog before! I only discovered goodvibe.com a couple of weeks ago and love pray rain journaling already.
    On the last 8 mths of last year, I lost 24kg (about 52lbs) with the aid of a gr8 product that was costing me a lot of money (too much). This year ive been moreconcerned with my spiritual & creative “awakening”, to give much thought to my diet & I haven’t taken the product all year.
    I don’t know why I thought this, but I thought maybe if I was on track with my creating, my weight should take care of itself! Sounds good in theory! But I guess I still have somedeep inner beliefs that say I deserve to be fat, because my body took care of re-gaining about 14lbs! Naughty Gremlins!
    I have learnt enough in the past few months to agree with Jeannetw that we shoulnt have to worry about calorie & what we eat, because we get what we focus on. Thinkingabout weight attracts weight!
    I recently watched “what the bleep do we know” DVD which stated that negativity shuts down cell receptors which has a bigger impact on our health than what we eat! Wow, did I understand that correctly? The best diet in the world won’t be a permanent solution if we are not positively, deliberately creating a healthy slim body!

  • Uhmmm…according to this document
    that dessert is 1,580 calories…but WHOSE counting? Your Dad ate half…so it was less than 800 for you. :o)
    Many blessings,

  • danae says:

    ummmm. YOur posts always have something for me Jeanette… today when I read this one I felt a lot of things – I imagined myself eating a lovely, life-giving, nourishing, refreshing, enlivening spinach salad (all of it!) and feeling REALLY good afterward… then when you got to the part in your story about eating chocolate cake all I could feel was horror, along with “oooohhhhh nooooooooooo, NOT cell-clumping, skin-damaging, bladder irritating, bowel clogging processed flour/sugar!!”.
    Clearly I’m not dialed in to the same vibe of pleasure in chocolate cake! ( I am that woman who is very thin, even after five children )
    But I enjoy that other people do love chocolate cake! (I get that its enjoyable for others)
    and I respect those that listen to their bodies and stick to their own game plans for their health and wellbeing (who believe that this is the way to stay in alignment with their desire for their ‘ideal’ body).
    …I sometimes succumb (in direct opposition to my aversion to sugar and processed food) to cravings for a hot chocolate made with chille and real melted dark belgian chocolate. There’s a special cafe nearby that does them – expensive and decadent – so creamy, spicy and sweet! I ALWAYS feel bad (sometimes even unwell) afterward and need to go away, do some energy shifting work, forgive myself (it always feels like pleasure at the time, and punishment afterwards).
    I VOW I will allow myself this pleasure and that it will do me no harm. And yet nothing changes, I wake up the next day with puffy eyes, dull skin, feeling heavier, with an irritated bladder (which is not a good thing after five babies!) and feeling just yuck (and ending up working out for longer and harder) – its clearly a very stubborn thought form in me.
    I’m training to become therapist so I’m able to utilise various tools/techniques (as well as getting supervision/therapy while doing so) and so what I do know that this one goes deeeeeep and no affirmation is going to ‘fix’ it….
    I like to think I’m practicing non-resistance (most of the time) by acknowledging the entire cycle and flowing with it. I like to think that asking the part of me that is struggling ‘what do you want?’ (and getting answers!) will discharge the negative vibe around ‘forbidden pleasure’ once and for all.
    Thanks for the prompt to get some more clarity around this Good Vibes people!
    xx d

  • Pernille Madsen says:

    Jeannette, thank you for the update on your brother – I love it, love it, love it every time I myself or others are positively surpriced by another person’s motives or capabilities 🙂

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