25 Affirmations Louise Hay Didn’t Write

not your mothers affirmationsLouise Hay is the queen of affirmations and everyone knows it.

We’ve all used one of her originals, like…

  • All is well.
  • I am good enough.
  • I am healthy, whole and complete.
  • I choose peace.

There’s nothing wrong with those, but they don’t always float everyone’s boat.

Florence Scovel-Shinn says it’s important that our mantras “click” for us.

So if traditional isn’t your style, you might like one of these 26 affirmations that Louise Hay didn’t write.

We call these “affirmations with attitude,” and they aren’t for everyone.  (So if swear words offend, you might want to click away now …)

    1. Ain’t nothing to it, but to do it.
    2. Universe has my back.
    3. I’m the best there is.
    4. The more I goof off, the more money I make.
    5. Rock on with your bad self.
    6. Holy sh*t, I make a lot of money!
    7. I’m sexy and I know it.
    8. F**k it.
    9. S’all good.
    10. I am the greatest!
    11. I believe in the glamorous life and I live one.
    12. Easy peasy smooth & breezy.
    13. Universe is my b*tch.
    14. I design myself.
    15. It’s a good thing I’m rich!
    16. It is what it is.
    17. Jus’ chill.
    18. I got this!
    19. Winning!
    20. There is nobody like me.
    21. People are f***ing awesome.
    22. Oh yeah, watch me!
    23. Just do it.
    24. Money, I’m calling you into my life!  Money, You Love ME!
    25. Man, I’m good at this!

Thanks to the irreverent creators who brought us these politically incorrect affirmations:

Maya Angelou, Andy Dooley, Michele Woodward, Lady Gaga, Jay Z, Nike, Muhammad Ali, Charlie Sheen, Danielle LaPorte, thef**itlife.com, LMFAO, Mike Dooley, one or two from me, the US Marine Corps, Reverend Ike, and YOU.  Let’s hear your favorite “not for all audiences” affirmations …

  • January 24, 2014
  • Nadine says:

    Woohoo!! I love your creativity in bringing us fun ways to use affirmations Jeannette!
    How about this?
    “I get what I want… DEAL WITH IT!”
    Also a question…
    I know when it comes to trying to attract a partner, you’re not supposed to ask for a specific individual, but what if you’re already in love with them and you’re BFFs and you feel there is just something “stuck” in their life keeping them from being with you. And the very idea of this person being affectionate towards you and saying how they feel about you, brings you IMMENSE joy, even tears of joy, than WHY THE HECK CAN’T I USE HIS NAME IN MY AFFIRMATIONS? Hmm?? Whats wrong with that? It makes me BLISSFUL =)
    For example: “Jole finds me AMAZING!!”
    What’s wrong with that anyway? if it makes me happy? (no thats not his name btw lol) Besides, at the end of the affirmations you can say “I create all this or something better” Which still leaves the door open to other possibilities right?
    “It’s MY WAY, GET OVER IT” lol…

  • Crystal says:

    I love this Jeannette! Thanks for the great affirmations!
    Florence Scovel Shinn was my introduction to this life 20 years ago. Love her. And these totally click with me. 🙂
    After having our parking paid for in town the other night we started saying to the Cosmic Divine ….. Love that Susann!:)
    “What else do you have for me?”
    I also love to say…
    “Would be obstacles dissolve in my path!”

  • Christina in Cleveland says:

    HAHAHAHAHA … R I G H T O N !!!!! Love these!!!
    4.The more I goof off, the more money I make. — Yeah bayyybeee!!

  • Cassie says:

    Oh I love these! Fabulous when you need a quick shift. My favorite is “I’m Fuc**** awesome!!! or ‘Damn I’m good!”

  • Janette says:

    Love ’em ALL. And use most of ’em from time to time, especially if there’s an f-bomb included.
    I’ve another affirmation I reserve only for moments when my monkey mind has a momentary panic. I remind myself to “just calm the f*** down, Janette” – and that makes me laugh.
    Can’t laugh and panic at the same time, it turns out. 😉

  • Kristen says:

    I’m so going to start saying “It’s a good thing I’m rich!” every time I make a purchase to the cashier! 🙂
    One of my favorites is “I always get everything I want… The Universe spoils me!”

  • Katy says:

    Woo…I love these! I’m going to put some of these around – and I like listening to myself saying them, ha! – like “I’m all that” lmao! Thanks Jeannette 🙂

  • Thanks Jeannette:-) I wish there were a way to like posts:-)

  • Susann – I am laughing out loud with “that’s one big Mother of a miracle”!! lol LOVE it!!!
    And I love your self-description of tending toward an “earthy vocabulary.” That’s what I’m calling mine from now on, too.

  • Susann says:

    LOVE these, Jeannette! My faves at the moment: “F*ck, yeah!” & “Whoo, I SO rock!”
    I also have taken, for some reason, to calling the Big Whatever either Cosmic Divine (I love the sound of those 2 words together, kinda like peanut butter and chocolate)or Mother Cosmic Divine (don’t know where it came from, I just go with what hits the tip of my tongue in the moment) — which leads (naturally!) to things like “Whoo, Big Moma, you rock!” & “That’s one big Mother of a miracle!” & other less socially acceptable polysyllabic variations . . .
    I tend toward a pretty earthy vocabulary anyway & have never felt a need to clean it up for my best bud, the Big U.

  • Some of my favorites…
    Row, row, row your boat
    Gently down the stream
    Merrily, merrily, merrily, merrily
    Life is but a dream
    Gotta love the U!
    Difficult takes a day
    Impossible takes a week –Jay-Z
    I RAWK!
    I am in stride with the upward, progressive movement of life.
    My success is inevitable:-)

  • Good one, Sylvia! Thanks for adding that one!
    And Nneka, it sounds like your self talk is FABULOUS! I’m borrowing that last one from you.

  • “How good can I stand it?” is one of my favorites.

  • Amanda says:

    These have great attitude!

  • Oh Deanna, it seems we are peas in a pod yet again. lol
    Thanks for sharing! 🙂

  • Deanna says:

    Hello! so many of these “hit” for me – using 3, 5, 6,7 a whole lot these days “oh H*LL YEAH!!”
    enjoy! and many thanks for jazz up those affirmations!!
    – Deanna

  • It does, doesn’t it, GorgeouSophie?! lol
    I’m glad we both enjoy that together!

  • Gorgeousophie says:

    Giggling away on an unsunny day in my kitchen in London! Da BIG U is my?!…OMG OMG OMG!!! Sacrilegious almost and feels so naughty, LOVING it!

  • Susanne, I love the graphic you’re making of these! SO much fun!!
    And Sebastian, that doesn’t surprise me to hear. lol
    Thanks for reading and for posting, you two!

  • Sebastian says:

    Hahahaha, I’ve said 13 a couple of times 🙂

  • Susanne F says:

    F**k , I’m doing it anyway … is what I often use when facing a situation I fear … at the moment it is driving in the mountains (I’m from a flat flat country)… thanks for the list it is cool.

  • Giggling is a good sign of the “click,” isn’t it Elizabeth? Glad you enjoyed it!

  • Elizabeth says:

    Easy peasy smooth and breezy makes me giggle happily. Clearly I need to adopt it.

  • I know what you mean, Jessica – a little irreverence goes a long way with me, too!

  • Jessica says:

    Oh my god Jeanette this is hilarious! I love it! Reminds me of that time Abraham said “That’s something to give a **** about!”

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