Q&A: “All Is Well” Attitude Harmful?

time to face reality?It’s time for another post where you readers are the stars!

We’ve got a great question from a savvy creator who feels stuck. She’s wondering if it’s time to face reality.

What do you say we give this fellow creator some TLC? She’s looking for new insights on an old problem:

I hope I can ask this question of you because I have run out of doctors, acupuncturists, and therapists to ask.

I have a job that I really do love. Great people, great work, great benefits and pay. I would rather work from home, but until then I have a terrific job.

But I am constantly plagued by illnesses that keep me from going to work. And because I miss so much work I am losing a LOT of my pay so I am behind on my mortgage and have several loans/credit cards. My employer is so wonderful that because of my illnesses and doctor’s notes they allow me to make up time by working from home. But then something will happen where I am unable to get the computer connected.

I spend several times a day feeling the feelings of having everything paid off or feeling healthy. And overall I feel I am a pretty happy person. Plus I say Thank You a LOT for the pennies I find, the green lights I get, the beautiful people I see.

I think my faulty thinking is that “something” is trying to keep me down because either I don’t deserve the things I want or that i am being kept down because there is something to learn from what I am going through. I wouldn’t say I have these thoughts/feelings often but I am afraid they might be a core belief.

And I try to counteract these with telling myself that’s not true; my feelings and thoughts determine what I manifest.

I have being trying so hard for so long and so many things (western medicine, eastern medicine, acupuncture, feng shui, and even just giving up and allowing/accepting what is happening and even being grateful for my illnesses, days off work, and bills) and I feel like I am getting nowhere!

I also sometimes feel that my attitude of it will all work out is hurting me. That I am not facing reality. But then the other part of me shouts out that this reality will change as soon as I “believe enough” or “feel the right way.” But then that makes me feel like I am not doing it right either. I just don’t know!

I am really hoping that you have a fresh perspective on this and that you have some wisdom for me.

Thank you so much for all that you do and that you share!!!

I know this is such a compassionate community that many of you are already wanting to help out just after reading that.

Let’s start by practicing some outsourcering where we see our friend healthy, happy and thriving and then share inspired thoughts in the comments.

Thanks, everyone! 🙂

  • July 16, 2014
  • Meg Amor says:

    Aloha, great site by the way!! Love it. 🙂
    I agree with Susann and Cynthia.
    You actually said yourself in the first few lines:
    “I would rather work from home, but until then I have a terrific job.”
    “But I am constantly plagued by illnesses that keep me from going to work.”
    I give you permission to work from home. I’m not being facetious. Sometimes we need to know it’s okay to do what’s really in our heart.
    You’ve said it clearly: I WOULD RATHER WORK FROM HOME.
    It doesn’t matter what the reasons is. You want to work from home, so that’s what you’re putting out for. You might want to sit down and work out WHY you think you SHOULDN’T work from home. Then give yourself permission to let them go and be in your heart energy. That’s the only place you’re letting yourself down. Give yourself permission to work from home. Maybe you grew up with a belief system like: ‘People who work from home don’t have real jobs.’ ‘Working from home is really lazy.’ ‘If I work from home, I’ll feel spoilt and overindulged.’ You know what it is.
    Find it, clean out the sharpnel with it and give yourself permission to work from home. This is an easy fix for you. Once you accept it, the Universe will pull it all into line for you.
    Let us know please. 🙂
    I’m going to sit down and pretend I’m writing to you all and work out my sticky glicky point now. If I can’t, I might post it on here, great answers and insights everyone.
    Aloha Meg Amor 🙂

  • Cynthia says:

    I have never posted here before but have been a long time lurker 🙂
    Having been through the exact same thing 30 years ago where I was very successful in my job at a very young age, made great money etc… There was a voice in my head that kept saying work from home. I needed to be working from home or something to do with the Home.
    I didn’t listen ( I was being practical)and eventually the universe forced me to work from home in a way I think your illness is nudging you to where you really want to be.
    Also another suggestion is to try and find an Environmental Medicine Doctor. If you have a hard time locating one you can go to the International Board of Environmental Medicine website and they will have a list of Board Certified MDs in this specific practice area.
    The reason I am suggesting this is because you may actually be allergic to your place of employment ( and the universe may be trying to protect you by keeping you away from it ) and this type of doctor can help figure out what this is. They are typically MDs and also holistic practitioners, so it is great to have a doctor who is educated in and understands both. The reason I know about this type of medicine is due to having been exposed to toxic mold and no one could figure it out. It can cause very serious health issues.
    I have a strong feeling that this may be so and your employer really cares about and values you so may very likely be willing to have you work from home on a full time basis. And you wont have any guilt or fear about it 🙂
    I keep hearing “A Leap Of Faith”, and “Have No Fear”.
    It will all work out very well 🙂

  • Ken says:

    What I’ve gotten from this is that sometimes you do have to let go, give up, be still and listen. I’ve reached my wits end many times, and I find it helpful to be with the feeling that at the moment, I just don’t know anything. I might have a lot of ideas, but nothing I can hold onto. So I’m honest with myself, with my feelings and with my blank slate. And sure enough, when I’ve quieted down, something clear always comes from within or I get a sign of some kind. That All Knowing is always there and responsive. It has not failed to reveal the truth even once. So, while I will not hazard a guess about what this dear soul should do, I’m certainly hearing “take it easy” for myself.

  • Kathleen says:

    I’ve been thinking about this question for a few days – as parts of it apply to me 🙂 Expectation is what comes to mind. It seems when something has been practiced for a while, it’s easier to expect those things to continue rather than the wanted health and abundance.
    This is the area I’m focusing on now. Expecting good stuff, smiling when the phone rings even before I see who’s calling (because I’m expecting a friendly voice and good news/laughter) Opening my eyes first thing in the morning and knowing it will be a good day – expecting a healthy vibrant body, delightful encounters, checks in the mail!
    Thank you for the question and the space here for discussion.

  • Mitch says:

    Great question and great responses! First of all, be proud of yourself for “throwing up your hands” and admitting that you are out of ideas. That sounds like a big release of resistance to me. Simply asking for help can really take the pressure off, so I hope that you feel at least a little better already.
    So I have two thoughts. The first is about how you mentioned that you spend time feeling the feelings of the outcomes that you desire, which is AWESOME! Have you been keeping your eyes open for results when you do that? In my experience, I only have to spend a few minutes feeling the feelings to get some kind of results, but keep in mind that in the beginning, the results will be really subtle. So subtle that you could easily write them off as coincidence. But keep it going (just a few minutes a day is enough!) and the results will grow. Just as long as you don’t get frustrated too soon and say, “This sh*t doesn’t work!” lol
    Secondly, make sure you’re spending lots of time with the things in your life that are easy to feel good about. Do you like music? Do you like to read? Do you have friends who make you laugh by cracking offensive jokes? (Or am I just speaking for myself? ;)) You have so much strong asking around these desires, you could just stop working them for a while and focus on easy, happy things and everything else would start falling into place.

  • Sharne says:

    You are absolutely perfect the way you are! You don’t need to be fixed, the more love and acceptance you give yourself as you are right here and now the better you will feel instantly. Your experiences may be from past thinking, feeling, beliefs, reactions, let the new you embrace those aspects of yourself for creating the beauty and compassion who is you and what you now have to offer the world through the growth you have experienced from your past self. Much love and blessings to you on this journey! <3

  • Rosa Muziotti says:

    Do not be hard on yourself. Put your hand over your heart, take three deep breaths and ask your body…”BODY, WHAT DO YOU WANT?” Then relax and hear the answers. Many people struggle with their health because they do not take time to ask for pieces of advice from their bodies. Our bodies are perfect and wise and they KNOW how to heal themselves. May be your body wants you send more love and appreciation to every cell. May be it needs more rest, water, sunlight, movement or joy…

  • Anon says:

    I feel that I too am trying TOO HARD>> and that is my instinct with our friend. She is trying too hard and like a hamster on the wheel if we just keep trying harder and harder we think we will finally get somewhere.
    THANK YOU so much for this perspective .. it has helped me tremendously realize that if I just get off the wheel and let go, the flow will take me to where I am supposed to go.. It is like LOA anxiety!!!
    THANK YOU to your reader for reminding me to just relax into it and sometimes acknowledging we are sick and tired and ALLOW to be sick and tired.. It reminds me of when we try so hard to remember what is on the tip of our tongue we will never remember what it is and once we relax into the forgetting of what we forgot we remember.

  • Feeling so much love and appreciation for all the help you guys are offering!! You are the BEST!!!
    Got this note earlier today from our questioner:
    “Thank you so much! I am so grateful to have someone in my life who will help me with this, not to mention all the people you have in your life who also are helping. With just a few responses I can already feel the love and positivity coming through! Plus there is already so much to think about!!!”
    I feel the same way about you all. What a wonderful community. 🙂

  • Susann says:

    Oh my goodness, this is so difficult, isn’t it, when it seems that the harder you try to “do it right”, the more things go all cattywumpus & seem to get even more tangled & difficult.
    This jumped right out at me: “I have a job that I really do love. Great people, great work, great benefits and pay. I would rather work from home, but until then I have a terrific job.”
    And the question that *instantly* popped into my head was: until **when**? In other words, what are you waiting for? Do you want to work at a *different* job than you’re presently doing? Or your existing job, just from home? I’m wondering if part of you is more than ready to make the change, but another part is really resistant to the change, especially if it means leaving something you admit you “love”.
    Maybe the Universe is getting your clarity on the “home” part just fine & you’re very successfully manifesting situations (even unpleasant ones) that are keeping you there, but your ambiguous feelings about leaving your present job (which you love) & what work you want to be doing (& when you might be ready to do it) are concurrently manifesting a situation where doing your present work from home just isn’t on the table. [And maybe I’m completely full of crap, in which case you will of course ignore everything I’m saying!]
    I’m so far from an expert it’s not even funny, but my instinct is to reinforce what Sabeen suggested. Take a break from all the “trying”. Take a couple of weeks (or whatever feels comfortable)to just stop. Create an intention that you’re releasing all the “trying” & effort for this given period of time & that you’re turning the whole damn mess over to your magnificent co-creator, the Universe . . . because *you* are on vacation!
    And while you’re On Vacation, noodle around with what you’d really *love* to be doing. Don’t worry about how you think t might happen, or whether or not you think it’s even possible — and do *not* fret about leaving a present job & people you love. Just daydream. Ask yourself: “in the best possible set of circumstances, I’d love to be — ”
    And I’d love to know what happens down the road . . .

  • Cassie says:

    Hey Jeannette I’m with you. Amp up the self-love by starting to pay attention to how your treat yourself. Thoughts and the words you speak are important and I think action speaks volumes. If someone doesn’t know where to start I usually send them to LovingYourselfUniversity.com and have them sign up for the free quotes and lessons. A person can get daily reminders and steps from some really awesome coaches. I’ve heard from many women that that alone changed their life.
    I think the best way to describe how to love yourself is to thing of the greatest relationship you could ever be in and then treat yourself like you imagine the other person treating you. Do the things they would do. Talk to yourself the way they would talk to you.

  • kim Falconer says:

    First of all, I’m sending a bundle of love and light to every corner of this energy, head to toe, top to bottom, inside and out. My thought is, all is well.
    I realize that all is well is not going to resonate as very helpful though!
    When things feel this frustrating, it’s a perfect time to look at the birth chart, the astro-energy signature for her most authentic Self. Often, the answer to what’s going on under the surface is crystal (Saturn) clear.
    If I have the date, time and place of birth, I could most likely offer a few simple steps to releasing all this kamuzzle.

  • Thanks for sharing and before I start I want you to know that I am sending you positive healing energy!
    10 months ago I was in a similar situation with my health where I had a chronic debilitating injury which was affecting my life in all areas. Like you I tried all of the healers from kinesiology,acupuncture,physio, pain medication, deep tissue massage and of course meditation. While doing this I was seeing my Western doctor who was telling me that I was faced with back surgery and other intrusive measures. It was tough because I have a small child and a life to lead.
    I am now healed completely without any of the intrusive procedures and have gone from a pain threshold of 9 or 10 to non existent.
    Like you I was searching for what would work and trying everything. I kept going because I am a positive person, a successful manifester who has a great life. My core belief was that I was going to find the right “thing” though I also felt I had a negative core belief which was holding me back.
    What did work was understanding that my injury was caused by deep seated pain from my past which had not been addressed. I was fortunate enough to have a Reiki session which tapped into this and basically during that one session I felt the pain and the sadness of a past hurt and felt it leave. The injury did not go away immediately, it took about 3 days to leave.
    I also worked with Angels intently for a short period of time especially Raphael. I found I was grounded when in tune with this.
    Once again I believed that I would not be having surgery although there was several times I almost caved. The pain caused a great deal of doubt in my mind at times as well. I felt those feelings and let them go every time.
    Keep going to gently seek out a strategy which will work for you. You have been given some gifts such as your employers and colleagues who allow you to take care of yourself. Let go of your fear and listen to your inner knowing.
    Good Luck!

  • Sabeen says:

    What is coming through loud and clear from this lovely creator is all of the “trying” that is going on. So much trying – to heal, to create better, to be better, to find a better vibration. I completely understand why – that’s what deliberate creators do, right? We know what kinds of things we need to do to fix our problems so it makes sense that we try all of them until something works. Believe me, I’ve done exactly that myself. The thing is, the vibration of the problem and the vibration of the solution are two very different things and you can’t get to the solution while you are still engaged in trying to deal with the problem (to paraphrase Abraham). Sometimes, we just need to give ourselves a real break from dealing with any of the problems in order to give the Universe room to sneak in and start turning it around for us. For a little while at least, I would suggest stopping the majority of the effort at solving anything. Give yourself a break and do the reaaallly easy stuff. Just for a little while. Stop trying to figure out what treatment is the right one (keep doing whatever seems to be helping you but stop all of the “figuring out” you are probably engaged in doing). Do what you can do for work but spend as much of your time doing relaxing things, even if (especially if) they have nothing to do with what you are trying to accomplish. Watch funny tv, go for walks, read good books, pet your dog/cat (or your neighbor’s dog/cat), look at flowers… let yourself off the hook from figuring anything out. Let yourself off the hook from visualizing, trying to overcome your limiting beliefs, trying to manifest, all of it. Just for a bit. With just a little breathing room, the Universe will start seeping in some magic. Just you watch. Your only job is to get off of the problems long enough to start letting some of it happen. That’s how it worked for me, at least 🙂

  • DelicateSound says:

    Your story is touching, it seems you are doing all the right things and you deserve to get the desired results. It made me think of something I listened to recently.
    I stumbled on it one day when I had heaps of gremlin thoughts, the main concern on my mind being the worry that by putting daily focus on something I wanted, and in the off chance that I was deluding myself, I would make a given situation worse instead of better. Let me explain the train of thoughts I had; ‘what if I would be unable to manifest this specific goal, would I then not be making life more difficult for myself by repeating it over and over again and as such somehow get obsessed with the result? Hence, would it have a negative impact on my everyday life?”
    When surfing around and without knowing who the speaker was, it caught my attention. When later I looked up the name + background and some info on the person, I learned he started his quest as a result of having suffered a serious accident. The story inspired me; perhaps it can do the same for you just to get enough courage not to give up.
    I do not believe ‘All is well’ can always be used as a rule, perhaps sometimes you need to adapt to “All is not well but I have the power to change it”.
    Hope this story will have some meaning for you. In the meantime we can jointly send you good vibes and manifest a better reality for you.
    Wishing you happy thoughts,

  • Right, Jesann?! sigh. I know.
    I think our fellow creator knows that, too. But it is a powerful thing to consciously own, isn’t it?
    And Lord knows that laughter can break many an evil spell!! You are brilliant. Thanks for adding to the conversation here.

  • Jesann says:

    Oh, God, the computer connection. That’s (sorry) you. And I know because it’s something I went through (with LOA-savvy witnesses, so those times were interesting). That’s something in you thinking you’re supposed to feel frustrated, blocked, cut off, isolated, choose your feeling.
    But I’ve found that just realizing it’s me, when it happens to me, and laughing about it (“Oh, ha! Wait, OK, *how* much stuck energy have I been giving off? OK, hang on, calm down, this’ll clear up”) does help. Though I’ll admit it took practice to get there.
    Good luck!

  • I was thinking the same thing, Eva … “they must LOVE her!”
    And since that’s such a nice feeling thought, I’d probably dwell on that one for a minute, if it were me.
    And you know, I hadn’t thought of that excellent point you’re making about ignoring the call to do what we might love even more. I think anyone who came here with a specific mission/intention for themselves, it’s getting harder and harder to ignore it.
    Thanks for shedding some light on that possibility. There’s no doubt in my mind it will resonate for someone reading this.
    Love you! 🙂

  • Eva says:

    Hi, thanks for sharing this and I know how hard it is to feel stuck no matter what you try. I’m sure you do great work though since your employer is accommodating!
    Since I obviously don’t know the whole story the following are just some suggestions. Feel free to disregard if they don’t resonate. I once heard Carolyn Myss describe how someone had called into her Hay House radio show wondering what they should do with their life. Carolyn asked her what prospect scared her the most. She replied something to the effect of “working in an inner city school”. To which Carolyn said “I think that’s where you belong” Turns out the woman took her advice and found it to be extremely rewarding. Martha Beck also talks about Shaman sickness when you get sick if you’re not answering a call to do healing work. So those two things first came to mind when I read your question. I’m just wondering if there’s something nagging in the back of your mind, even though this job is perfect, that you feel you should be doing but the thought is scaring you. Again, please disregard if this doesn’t resonate. But if it does, it might be a clue. Big hug! Eva

  • Cassie, your wise words to stop trying to heal remind me of Lisa’s story!!
    That one is worth reading for anyone who is relating to our reader’s question.
    And Cassie, you are literally the Queen of Self-Love, so I’m delighted that you chimed in to support that approach.
    Ways to practice that? Would you suggest anything in particular? (I always tell people to pay attention to how they treat themselves in thought and in action.)
    Thanks for chiming in on this one, my friend! 🙂

  • Cassie says:

    Sending lots of love and light your way. Seeing you happy, healthy and thriving. My advice would be to stop “trying” to fix things and start “being” the healthy person you want to be. Stop thinking about what it would feel like and start acting like a healthy person. Make a decision you are healthy and financially thriving and start being in the world like you are.
    If you think something is trying to keep you down it is. You make your own reality and you create what happens. If you believe it’s a belief, make the decision to let it go. I often find it helpful to replace a thought or belief I don’t want with something I do want. You can play with your own, but if I were in your situation I might adapt the core belief, “I am always supported” or “Everything works to support my increase in health and financial success.”
    If you think there is anything in you about not deserving something, it’s time to amp your self-love doses big time. If it were me that is where I would put 99% of my focus there for awhile. There’s a time in my life I could link not loving myself directly to my illnesses.
    Get aligned with being a healthy, financially success person before you “do” anything. Trying things with out being aligned to the outcome you desire is just trying and that can go on forever. “BE” the healthy person first and then follow your instinct as to what avenues will be best to support that.
    Sending lots of love and light your way!

  • PS – the highlights in the question are mine, so don’t read anything into that other than me pointing out what I thought were some important parts to catch.

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