The Antidote to Attachment

Conscious creators know that needing a certain outcome is a great way to make sure it doesn’t manifest.

Because “need” is the opposite vibrational instruction of “have.” Which makes it a powerful vibe-kinker when it comes to getting what we want.

So what do we do when we realize we’re attached to getting a particular result?

Here’s a sure-fire antidote that works every time:


Finding something to appreciate or be thankful for – or even to enjoy – is guaranteed to shut down the attachment frequency.

It doesn’t matter whether we get there by appreciating something in the present moment (whether related or unrelated to our desire), or remembering something from our past to be thankful for, or flowing advance gratitude for our manifested desire, or just turning attention to something enjoyable …

… however we can get dialed in on appreciation or happiness, it breaks the signal that’s holding up our desires and cues Universe to get busy delivering the goods.

So the next time you’re feeling:

  • hung up about getting that job offer
  • or anxious about hearing news from the doctor
  • or wondering how to get the house sold
  • or anything else that feels like your well-being is dependent on it,

just remember to give yourself a break from feelings of attachment and turn your attention to something you love. Revel in a couple of nice thoughts about how life already is good, and you become a much better match to getting what you want.

Here’s how TUT put it:

Often the sooner you can be happy without “it,” the sooner you will be happy with “it.” We call it the Reverse Law of Desires.

And with that we need never feel stumped about managing attachment again.

PS – if you’re not sure whether attachment is getting in the way of your dream come true, take the attachment quiz here.

  • February 20, 2016
  • Amina says:

    So good, so true, and so much more difficult with the super wanty things then you can imagine! Thanks for the great reminder. If we are present in our present moment, then, we truly do not need anything else.

  • Shraddha says:

    Katharina, i loved your post. Recently I have been doing lot of stuff to get my desires such as healthy hair and perfect digestive system. And somewhere I am being dependent on the state of making it come true. I just do not know what to do to make it happen.

    • Katharina says:

      Hi Shraddha:) I am glad to hear you liked my post. I think the answer lies in the opposite of your question:
      you don’t need to do anything at all.
      The natural state of our bodies is perfection. Look at the skin and vitality of little children. Apart from exceptions of course children always have flawless skin. no pores, soft as silk and no dark spots etc. They don’t need special shampoo or treatment for their hair, they just function perfectly themselves. As we gree older and more negative it showed in our bodies. It is like a windmill: when we stop the negativity and the worries and the resistance, we pull out the stick in the windmill and the wheel continues to turn. There is nothing we need to do except stop preventing our natural state.
      The hardest part is the letting go of the worrying and doubting and handling the work over to the Universe. There is nothing that needs to be done on our part. Ask and it is given.
      Lots of Love

  • Martha Magee says:


  • Laura Hansen says:

    Jannette, Awesome Post and amazing of the charts call with you today! Thanks a bunch! 🙂

  • anonymous says:

    What if I have several goals that I really want to achieve but don’t feel inspired to take action towards them? If I forget and let go of them, will I still achieve them? Or should I just take action anyway?

  • Katharina says:

    When you come to understand, that everything you see in this physical world was once a thought and ONLY a thought, than you begin to believe in the yet unseen. You don’t need proof anymore to know and believe that what you want is about to come. You simply KNOW and EXPECT, because you understand the laws of the Universe and therefore don’t ever question the realization of your wishes again. Once you succeed in manifesting something you considered small, you have to come to the conclusion that it is the same process for everything else you desire, too. No matter how big. It is always the same process.
    I once managed to manifest two rather small material objects within only a few days of deliberately changing to feeling good after having had those desires for many weeks and months without success. I did not think about them again as I felt good, I simply made it my goal to feel good and those things that I haven’t thought about in quite some time showed up almost both at once. It is as if the Universe has had it ready for me all the time along as I was unhappy und wondering where my stuff is and why it isn’t showing up. The Universe had it ready for me the MOMENT I asked for it and felt it in a brief visualization. It just basically waited for me to offer a high vibrational frequency and then literally made it appear in my life like by a magic trick. After that experience was I not only convinced in all the “all you need to do is feel good”-lectures, but something profound and life changing occurred to me: If this has happened to me with those two items, it is possible to happen for me with everything else I desire, too, no matter how “big”. Who says, I was worthy enough of that rare makeup brush and iphone but am not worthy enough or capable enough of receiving millions of Dollars and my dream body? That is only in my mind. For the Universe, everything is exactly the same size and exactly the same effort (namely zero), regardless of what it is we are wanting.
    I then realized that the Universe brought me those two things the moment I started to feel good, because they matched my belief. I believed I could get that somehow, and so it just came. It now occurred to me on a deeply transforming level, that when I view my big desires as not big anymore, but as just as likely as everything else, that then those things have to come as a result of my feeling good, too.
    And this thought train goes on: So once you really understand, that everything you want has to come the moment you change your belief in that way, you start wondering why it is that you have ever felt lack. Why you did not just allow everything you ever wanted. The longer I think about this new found truth, the more surreal it feels to me. You start to think about how it can be that no one else you know is living by those standards. You start to wonder if it can really be that simple and that amazing. Wanting something and being happy right away because you know that the moment you want something and see yourself having it, it is yours and has to come. That is like directing the plot of a movie or having the remote control of your life. It almost appears like magic and because it is so simple and so amazing, you cannot believe why it is so uncommon.
    But then again, how many people are out there who have achieved things no one ever has before them? How many people are out there who have set new standards of what is possible by their very first example? …
    The mind seems to still fight this whole idea a little and can’t quite grasp it and there is still this quite but distinct voice inside you asking “isn’t that too good to be true?” It is almost as if the mind is afraid of being unemployed as it can’t comprehend this whole new concept of not needing to worry and doubt. It puts your whole life into a new perspective. What am I supposed to do all day if there is nothing I need to worry about? What am I supposed to do all day once I know that life really IS like choosing from a catalogue? It would be like moving around and being happy all the time and excited and looking at things like little children, because you opened yourself up to a whole new world of things you have shut out before. Then everything I have ever heard like “your purpose of life is joy and fun” makes perfect sense, because you know that anything you want is already about to be yours and nothing else is ever going to bother you beyond the sole purpose of sifting and sorting.
    The mind still fights this whole idea because it defies everything you have been taught and learned to be true your entire life. And this new concept dismisses every belief you have ever held and makes so many things you have done in your life pointless. But then again, how many people do you know that are so happy they glow? How many people do you know, that experience everything they desire and are full of joy their entire life? Probably the answer is none. And when you consider that, how appealing does the idea of continuing to live life the way you are used to and everyone else does, now?

  • Mia says:

    Does this work for “serious” worries, too, Jeannette?
    For example, if I feel very lonely, worry about my future, have to face financial trouble or frightening health issues?
    Can you simply counteract all those serious stuff by finding something – *anything* – to appreciate in your life?
    I remember Abraham saying something like that, too: Even if your life is 98% problematic, if you focus on 2% of things that are good, you *will* see improvement. Did I get that one right? Not quite, probably …
    I notice that the topic of appreciation is a kind of “trend” in your writings lately. 🙂 I saw that as a sign: “Aha, Jeannette wants to tell me something here.” So thank you for the reminder!

  • Eleanor says:

    I agree and am putting this into practise now. I do have a question: is it just as efficient to go general and appreciate anything when you have that “needy/wanty” energy?

  • Jen C. says:

    I wonder if this can help me stop drinking decaf coffee with cream (both of which I’d rather NOT be attached to). I have tried having a lot of it, so that I’d rather not have it, and I’ve tried substituting teas or herbal coffee alternative type teas, but I still keep coming back to it.
    So, I am thinking of the vibe of being free (non attachment), and being calm in that environment, and maybe I’m just drinking water there. All I know is I feel better doing that…so I guess I’m moving in that direction…but I still would love to know if and how to use the appreciation for wanting coffee. Ideas?

    • Brian says:

      Hey Jen,
      Why do you want coffee?
      Do you appreciate it’s taste? Do you appreciate the flavor?
      Do you appreciate the awakening properties it helps you with?
      If you want coffee because it helps you to be awake, energized, and thus making it easier for you to focus, then what you want to focus on is appreciation of those things.
      “I want to feel energized. I want to feel well-rested. I want to feel in alignment. I want to feel energy flowing through me. I want to feel interested. I want to feel eager. I want to feel excited. I want to feel eager to start the day. I want to feel comfortable. I want to feel soothed. I want to feel the ease of going through my day. I want to feel Well-Being. I want to feel confident in my ability to be present and awake.”
      That is focused on the uncondition (emotion) of what you want.

    • Jeannette says:

      Jen, I’m laughing because that could be interpreted to mean you might be attached to being unattached. lol
      I like Brian’s take on finding what the payoff is and creating other ways to continue that benefit.
      I didn’t have this situation with coffee and cream, but I did have it with weight loss. It wasn’t until I got over “wanting/needing” to have a different body and let myself just love the one I had – that this body started to get even better.
      What we resist persists, so dropping resistance to what is can be a powerful aid in letting things evolve to “even better.”
      But there are two other things I might play with as well:
      the story of my habit. I might change how I think of myself so I don’t perpetuate what I don’t want by thinking of myself that way. (Like, instead of, “Ugh, I’m doing it again! Why am I doing this?! I can’t seem to get a handle on this habit!” I would go to, “I’m getting a handle on this.” Even when it might look like I’m not, because as I think, so shall it be.)
      and also I would set myself up for success by removing any physiological reasons I’m drawn to this particular food/drink. But it sounds like you’re already addressing that.
      And those three things aren’t necessarily easy to combine – but I’d play around till I found my sweet spot with it. The whole while not making it a big deal. Oooh, I like this thought, too – everyone’s got to have a vice. (A doctor told me that a long time ago, and thus decided not to hassle me about not wearing a seat belt since every other habit was where she wanted it.) But if everyone’s got to have a vice – this is a great one to have! woo hoo!! I am a good chooser of vices. This is so much tastier than lots of others. 🙂

  • Elle says:

    Yes, I have always been fascinated with this phenomenon. Gurus always say you don’t need anything, just go with the flow of your life and things will simply flow for you. Instead, we are taught by parents and society who judge us and we compare ourselves to others, things we should not do. It’s basically living the opposite way of society.
    It’s enough to just be here, so in reveling in that, the way is paved already. I am always so enthralled by individuals who live this way and things just go so well for them, as they manifest whatever it is they want. I had this ability, too, until I lost it when I deal with my mother. I’m working on this.
    thank you for the reminder.

  • Dani says:

    Whenever I thought about appreciating something to remove the need it never felt right. For example if I really hated my job and thinking about appreciating something in my job to help manifest the better job it was tough because even if I did think of something to appreciate I’d always have what I hated in mind but it’s good to know that I don’t necessarily have to appreciate my current job. I could appreciate a past job, the future job I hope to get or something else unrelated to the job like my awesome friends.
    That is what you’re saying right Jeannette?

  • Mary says:

    I love the simplicity of this. Great post!

    • Jeannette says:

      Thanks, Mary! I agree, it’s super simple – and sometimes I think that’s why we overlook it as our best solution, because we’re used to hard work or complex answers.
      Here’s to easy peasy and super effective appreciation! 🙂

  • YES! Need always leads to greed 🙂
    I go as far as saying “I don’t want to have more money” ten times until I feel totally fine having no money. “Want” means to lack so if we say we don’t want it we actually don’t lack it. It works great!
    Very much appreciate you Jeannette 🙂

    • Rosie says:

      Great idea! And makes me think of how so many people find partners when they swear off relationships. I’m going to use this one 🙂

    • Jeannette says:

      I can see how shooting for the opposite extreme could help us land in a more neutral, vibrationally advantageous place, Sophie. 🙂
      And Rosie’s right – how often have we seen something like that unfold?! ha!

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