Authentic Wannabe: How to Pretend It Into Reality

how to pretend it into realitySomeone asked me to sum up what the best way is to create what we want. I said it’s best done by becoming the person who already has it.

If you want professional success, be the person who is successful. Don’t wait for success to arrive before you “be” that person now.

If you want relationship harmony, become a person who is already experiencing it.

If you want more money, adopt the mindset of a wealthy person.

I told the story of how years ago when I was manifesting size six, instead of walking around in the world like a size eight, I became a size six. In my mind. In my heart. In my vibration.

I did it by asking questions like:

  • “What would a size six girl order for lunch today?”
  • “How does a size six girl drive through this intersection?”
  • “How would a size six girl answer this phone?”

Each time I asked the question, the answer that came reinforced the vibration of size six.

It turns out that – for me – a size six girl sometimes ordered dessert.  And sometimes she ordered salad. She smiled more when she was out and about and she answered the phone in a happier voice. She sat in chairs differently and she walked with more bounce in her step. She held her head just a little higher.  There was more ease and relaxation in her movements and positions.

Everything I did was as a six, not an eight.

This is helpful to do very consciously because it’s really hard not to “be” what you already are.

When you’re creating something different, you have to be that difference now.

In hindsight I will say that manifesting a size six was a target MISS.  What I really wanted was to feel good about and in my body. I imagined that would happen as a six, but that was a mistaken assumption.

The person I shared this with asked a critical question: how do you “become” something you “aren’t” yet while still maintaining your authenticity?

As a deliberate creator, it didn’t challenge my authenticity to practice the vibration of what I was manifesting, but I can see how for some people it might not feel good to adopt what feels like a “false identity.” Like they’re trying to fake it till they make it.

So how do you purposely adopt a new vibration that isn’t evidenced in your physical reality yet?

I’ve got three suggestions:
1) soften it a bit. Changing the wording or the way you think about what you’re creating may help it feel more embraceable. Instead of “being a millionaire” maybe you could be a person who is increasing their financial abundance?

2) challenge what you “know.” Who says I’m not already happily married to the love of my life?! I bet I am in another dimension – and certainly I am in my vortex. So I’m just allowing that other reality into this one. It’s not that it isn’t true yet – it is. I’m just allowing that truth to manifest in this reality.

3) read the comments posted here.  I know you guys will have a variety of excellent tips on this question, so thanks in advance for sharing your experiences and thoughts with us!

PS – in case you’re wondering if it worked for me – it did, until I stopped working it. Once I had good progress under my belt (ha – no pun intended) I stopped the very habits that led to it and eventually found my way back to size eight. Sure sign of a counter-intention or some sort of payoff in place! But I’ve also used this technique to help create a thriving coaching practice, a robust membership site for deliberate creators, a sweetheart, homes for foster animals, a profitable and impactful coach training program, a second home that I love, and many more lovely manifestations.

It works when you work it.

  • September 13, 2011
  • Steve says:

    I read an article not to long ago that had a great idea. We want great abundance in our lives, but when we shop we go for sales and bargains. Or we buy the “off brand” that is just a little less expensive. And constantly see things that we can’t or don’t feel like we can afford. And that’s the vibe that we send out to the Universe.
    But the idea was to every now and then, splurge. It doesn’t have to be huge, just something that you want and wouldn’t usually buy.
    Thanks all

  • Frank, how wonderful — both that you will have fun with this and that you have been doing something along this line! I totally got that vibe from you when you visited, of fully appreciating the foods that you chose to eat. I love that!
    Ashley, you ask a very good question that I’ve been pondering. I think an easy example that would net quick results would be this: A lonely person might say, “I’ll go to that party, but I sure hope I don’t end up laughing and enjoying being with people.”
    Someone who hasn’t been able to conceive might say, “I sure wouldn’t want to get pregnant on that trip!”
    Another scenario: “Let’s hope I don’t get that job or I might become one of those people who pays their bills on time!”
    These examples illustrate my hunch that the end image should be a powerful one toward what you do want.
    There are probably many ways to use the Law of Reversed Effort to our benefit, but I think this way (the vivid positive image) bypasses complications.
    So Frank, not to get you off track, but perhaps you could find a word that you like better than skinny but more vivid of an image than “lose too much weight” — such as “I wouldn’t want to become too lean / trim / slim / desirable / svelte / great looking.”
    Choose an image that feels good. Much love!

  • Ashley says:

    I’m loving the “Have I eaten enough today? I don’t want to lose too much weight and end up too skinny.” I’m trying to think of all the ways I can use this kind of statement/thinking in my life.
    I would like to hear some other examples of it used for different purposes if others have thought of any.
    Thanks in advance. 🙂

  • Oh my Julie!!
    That’s what I did in 1997. Well, the first part anyway… Only mine was: “What’s the tastiest thing on the menu?” This led to my weight stabilizing for now nearly 15 years, after previously having really big swings up and down.
    And I’ve been looking for a way to move into the skinnier version of me so I’m going to start with a slight variation on that question (“Have I eaten enough today? I don’t want to lose too much weight.”) and see where it goes.
    Wow!! Thanks!!

    Many years ago I read about the “Law of Reversed Effort” in some of the Eckankar books. At the time I was tired of always feeling pudgy, so I decided to try an experiment. Instead of always thinking that I shouldn’t eat more, I reversed my thought patterns to “Gee, have I eaten enough today? I don’t want to end up too skinny.”
    I can tell you, it was weird to do this at first, and kind of funny too. But the amazing thing was I didn’t even have to believe it, I just “gave it a good go,” and things started changing so quickly! I’ve been as slim as I care to be and never worried about my weight ever since, and it’s been over 25 years. Yes, I have continued to think this way all these years.
    For some people this technique may be easier than “thinking size 6,” perhaps because it humorously bypasses our attempt to judge ourselves. It also feels like pampering yourself, which is really good for those of us who look to food for comfort.

  • Elisabeth says:

    You know Jeannette, I AM thinking that this would be a great topic for a call at GVU. The how-tos on acting as if. 🙂

  • Chip Hambas says:

    I love this one, It is the old fake it till you make it approach. Very powerful, very insightful. There are so many things one can do and just to read about the different ways is totally exciting. I am curious to find out more.
    I also believe that dream building is very powerful and everyone would benefit from practicing that (
    Keep Up The Great Work
    Thank You

  • Oh, I like your approach so much better than “fake it till you make it” … somehow it seems much more authentic. I’m definitely going to give this a try. Thanks!

  • Great points, Chip and Denis!
    Thank you for posting them!!

  • Denis Rosendahl Huber says:

    Touching and inspiring post! Many great comments too. When playing the Wannabe you can bring your child aspect in: children handle play very seriously, yet the know they are playing. Acting like you’re rich is not so much about spending real money that you don’t have… Playing like rich means diving deep into this “role”, how do you feel, think, move about, behave when you’re rich? You’d find out a lot about your attitude to wealth and rich people. A millionaire will spend 10K with a totally different mindset than a broke person, right? Many millionaires where broke once or several times.
    So acting helps by (1) exploring/learning the new mindset (2) uncovering your thinking-pityfalls (3) shifting from a feeling of lack to a sense of potential.
    At the time of writing I’m not (yet) a millionaire – but I’m amazed indeed at our creative powers. I’ll defenitely come back here for more vibes.

  • ChipEFT says:

    A lot of people have a problem with pretending vs truth.
    My suggestion is to ask yourself what you really believe. Are you a physical being having a spiritual experience or are you a spiritual being having a physical experience.
    If you are a physical being having a spiritual experience, then truth is what you experience with your senses.
    If you are spiritual being having a physical experience, then when you decide you want something, it manifests as vibration – in other words it becomes part of you and your universe- truth.
    Everything is vibration, including that which we call physical. And that which is physical is simply vibration as interpreted by our physical/spiritual senses.
    “Pretending” then is putting attention on the vibration (or truth) we choose to experience.

  • Ann Harrison says:

    Great point MissyB! This is one I always ponder too! After all, the world is full of people who have ‘acted as if’ they had all the money they could ever need (and spent accordingly using credit) and now have more debt than they can ever possibly service.
    I’d love to hear how other people act as if they had money without getting themselves into financial problems…:)

  • Another good question, Melissa.
    Imagine how a person who IS in a relationship acts when they’re not with their sweetie pie.
    Like, when they’re at work. Or when they’re at their girlfriend’s baby shower. Or when they’re at their brother’s basketball game.
    There are lots of times people aren’t hand in hand, but they’re still “in” a relationship.
    How do THEY feel that’s different than how you’re feeling now? Imagine that, and close the gap.
    I realized this at the movie theater. Sometimes I felt a little self-conscious when I went to see a movie by myself, wondering what people thought that I didn’t have a single friend to go to a movie with.
    But then I just imagined that my sweetie was out buying popcorn, and he’d be right in to join me. And they might not ever see him, because the previews might start before he gets here. But the way I sat in that movie seat as a girlfriend whose sweetheart was on his way was very different than how I sat in that movie seat as a person who was mourning her aloneness.
    Know what I mean? I’m alone either way – but my vibration can be a LOT different based on what I choose to think about it.
    Someone else might sit in that movie seat as if she’s enjoying a night away from her lover while he’s out with his guy friends – something he hasn’t done in a while because they’ve been so head over heels in love with each other.
    Someone else might know that this is something she’ll do even when she IS in a relationship, because they don’t always want to see the same shows or have the same free time for it.
    Someone else might have a totally different approach – to just fully appreciate going to the movies alone. Not needing to pretend there’s a special someone who is mysteriously not present right now – but rather fully enjoy their night at the movies with themselves.
    I actually never felt “alone” at the movies – well, not in a long time anyway – because I’m at the movies with a bunch of other people! I love it when it’s crowded enough we sit next to each other. And sometimes even laugh together or even just smile at each other at certain scenes.
    Anyway, play around and have some fun with it. You’ll find your ticket in to alignment.

  • Melissa says:

    How does one act “as if” when manifesting a relationship? This is the number one thing I wish to receive in my life. I am open to trying this. How do I feel like I am in a relationship when there is no one there to react to?

  • It’s a good question, Missy B.
    Here’s how I’d work with that.
    I’d remind myself that even wealthy person sometimes make decisions about which one to buy, rather than just buying both.
    I consider myself financially abundant, and there have been a couple of occasions recently I’ve had to make choices between one or the other. I loved several color schemes for the newly remodeled bathroom, but could only pick one. There were two gorgeous marble desks to pick from. GORGEOUS. But I walked away with neither, because they weren’t ideal for my dogs to sleep underneath. (Too many legs compared to my current “cheaper” desk.)
    So I’d remember that even rich folks make choices between stuff – whether it’s because of space or time or fiscal responsibility or environmental friendliness or whatever. They aren’t always out there spending money willy nilly.
    Maybe that helps rectify the contradiction you sometimes feel with it?

  • MissyB says:

    Fab posts – but I too have a question.
    Acting as if one has money ? There are two large items I would like…I can have one or the other as current savings won’t allow for both. Now if I was to act like a wealthy person, would I buy both ? Or would I only imagine buying both ? Or would I think that I’ve got my wealth by saving and so buy neither !
    Anyway…when I walked this morning, I walked like a thin person who was in a mutually loving relationship. And it felt good.

  • Elisabeth says:

    Bama Girl – That was the most perfect and organic explanation of the process! I have a feeling that writing career is just around the corner!

  • What a great story, Bama Girl! Thank you for sharing it here!
    YAY for you!! For your old creations and your new ones! 🙂

  • Bama Girl says:

    Divya, I believe I can answer some of the job part. This is some of what I did.
    When I was looking for a full time job I was working part time in the afternoons so I had mornings free. But I knew I wanted a specific type of full time job. I didn’t even know what LOA was at the time, but I knew what I didn’t want and I created affirmations. I knew I didn’t want retail, so I specified in my affirmation that I wanted a full time, Monday – Friday position with insurance benefits, vacation time, a nice quiet office, etc. So with that in mind I started acting as if I had that job. What would a person working full time in an office do? What would they wear? What would they act like? So I went to bed early, I started getting up early. I laid my clothes out the night before. I didn’t have much money, but I went to the thrift store and bought some nicer clothes. My mom also surprised me one day and took me shopping. I made my lunch the night before. Then I spent my mornings “working” – I would go to the career center and check the computer for job listings, check the newspaper at the library, let other people know I was job hunting. When it was time to go to my part-time job, I considered it my “2nd job”.
    I did manifest my full time job this past spring, right out of the blue. My mom actually sent me the link to this organization and I applied in February. But I didn’t apply for the job I have because it wasn’t available yet. But God was working in the background and when they called me in to interview for a position in HR I had no idea what they were calling me in for. I got the job in April.
    I am now using LOA to manifest a writing career.

  • What a cool habit your brother has, Divya!
    To answer your question – how would you surf this internet as a woman who was married to that special person? What would you wear today? How would you conduct that conversation with your girlfriend as a happily married woman?
    You can do all the same stuff, but this time you do it as one who already has what she wants.
    There might be SOME things that we aren’t able to apply this with (like maybe you flirt with a guy that might not flirt with if you were married), but there are plenty of chances to give Universe the signal that we got what we wanted; that we are happy campers!
    Hope that helps?

  • Divya says:

    Hi Jeannette,
    This was really an awesome vibe lifting post, its reminds me of my younger brother who while playing alone by himself pretends to be the cartoon characters he likes then he also tries to communicate with in family in same way, this way he not only remains happy whole day, infact he completes his school tasks etc. remaining in those playful characters.
    After reading your article I could exactly relate this to him,really inspiring post. I think letting the child in us be alive can also add to the deliberate creation of what we want!! When we imitate or live those what we want to be like or achieve, it not only aligns us to our desire but also keeps the zeal and enthusiasm of enjoying the process playfully!!
    One question- If one wants to marry the person of his/her choice or get a Job of his/her choice, how to pretend/live that part.?
    Cheers and Grateful

  • Good for you, Danae! I’d love to hear how that works for you – please keep it up and report back!
    Elisabeth, I love that visual of Universe leaning in close to hear you better! lol Clearly you’re already having fun with it!

  • Elisabeth says:

    WOO HOO! I love this topic! As a writer who has creativity coursing through her veins, this is my favorite process because it engages my imagination, daydreaming skills and powers of make believe. When I play this game, I almost always feel like the Big U is leaning in close to hear every word I say so he will he know how to knock my socks off!
    For those people out there who might be worried about being inauthentic, I recommend making it a game. Make it FUN! When there is no right or wrong, you create the authenticity. You are making it TRUTH as you go along. When the goal is to have fun, you can’t help but be authentic!
    Cheers to playing make believe!

  • thank you thank you thank you.. I really needed to read this today too… I’ve been getting about like a tired, overworked, under-appreciated single working mother of five kids – instead of the prosperous, relaxed and happy woman and mother who loves her job and gets plenty of love (that I want to be). Now I’ll be asking myself – ‘how would a successful, prosperous and well-rested woman do this?’.
    You are *amazing* Jeannette, whether size 6 or 8.

  • Thanks for chiming in here, Ashley. Always a pleasure to hear from you!
    Laura, your comment reminded me how in my pre-LOA days on my first “real” job I learned from the boss who was training his exec secretary (who had hired me) how to interview for a seriously kick *ss job (that she had no experience and little credentials for) that the most important thing was for her to be confident.
    (Just realizing now how cool it was that he supported his employee so much he gave her tips on how to get another job. Which she did.)

  • Laura says:

    Love this post Jeannette…as a matter of fact we were talking about this very subject in my Mastermind group tonight (I said it sounded just like Jeannette’s blog today) when the very brilliant Lisa Hayes was telling me that I was looking for alignment of how I wanted to show up vs. taking action, creating a biz plan, etc. Basically if you ask yourself what it looks like to be a…..and then align with it (which is exactly what you did with manifesting a size 6) then the other stuff really doesn’t matter. Sometimes we go to default ways of thinking that we should be doing something different or change our strategy (we are a very action oriented society) rather than examine what a person who already has this would do/behave, etc.
    I also love the idea of pretending. Quite a few years back when I was in another career and going on a job interview for a position that I had some experience in but was a little concerned what I’d be asked in the interview since I was meeting with very senior people in the company. I asked a colleague who had alot more experience than I did what kinds of questions they might ask, etc. and her answer was priceless. She told me to “just pretend you know what you are talking about”. Mind you…this was waaaay before I knew about LOA so this was not at all what I was expecting to hear, but I was intrigued by it. Okay…that sounds like fun, if nothing else. Well..I got the job. The interesting thing is that you not only get creative in your answers, but it gave me confidence that I probably wouldn’t have had otherwise. How would someone answer if they “knew” what they wanted to hear. It was brilliant and I’ve never forgotten it.
    Another really helpful was to “be” before you are is to say affirmations/declarations while envisioning yourself doing something that you want to succeed in. I did this to conquer my fear of public speaking. I was giving a lecture at a resort spa and always dreaded this in the past. This was something that I wanted to do and knew I had great information to share. While I was preparing, and for about a week before I would repeat to myself that I am the expert. I am a calm, relaxed and engaging speaker. I also saw myself up there speaking to my audience. I am the expert. I am the expert. I not only believed it, but felt so natural and comfortable when I got up to do it that I knew I would was now in control of being whoever I decided I wanted to be.
    Like Frank, I have used this countless times to manifest many things. As you know…”deciding” something and then acting as if it’s a done deal and is on it’s way is also extrememly powerful.
    And I love Jeannette, how you said to lighten it up….always try and keep a sense of play and imagine “if”.

  • Ashley says:

    Love It! I accidentally manifested myself into a size 6. A size 10, 150 lbs had always been my skinny weight my whole adult life; I have never been smaller. I bought an expensive, beautiful dress at a thrift store with the intention of selling the dress and making some $$ but I dialed down my dress form and displayed the dress on the form in my sewing room. Turn the clock ahead six months and I tried the dress on after losing a lot of weight and it was tight but it fit enough to wear it! I’m now a perfect size 6, 135 lbs.
    A size 6 is pure delight and amazes me everyday, through out the day, A size 6 feels youthful and healthy. And when I go shopping for all the new clothes I have to buy, hee-hee, I’m in the dressing room for hours because it is so much fun. Talk about a vibe lift!

  • You are welcome, MissyB. Thanks for reading. 🙂
    Frank, you make an excellent point, as usual. I hope everyone reads your response!

  • Jeannette —
    I just really want to bring a hearty second to this whole idea. I’ve created jobs, relationships, and a house by doing this.
    More importantly, I also think we do this a lot without really noticing it, particularly when it comes to choosing what to buy with certain kinds of purchases.
    It might not seem like a big deal because we’re not creating something out of thin air, but it’s the same concept.
    Think about:
    * how you choose what clothes to buy
    * what you want to eat from a menu
    * which car you want to buy
    You probably are imagining:
    * what it would feel like to be a person who dresses that way or this way (“Can I get away with this?”)
    * what it would feel like to be a person who just ate a salad or a steak (“Will I feel bloated or too full after I eat?”)
    * what it would feel like to drive that car or this car (“Will I look fine cruising on these wheels?”)
    I’ve spent some time looking at and feeling into how these mundane things play out when it’s not a big deal. And it’s amazing how much visualizing, pre-paving, and imagining we do on something as simple as deciding what to have for lunch. We can easily take advantage of this very simple process for harnessing that new vibration. Great stuff Jeannette!!

  • MissyB says:

    Sorry – I’ve no hints or tips…but I love this and soooo need reminding of it right now. Thank you.

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