Best Self-Love Practices

Many conscious creators know the importance of self-love

but we don’t always know how to practice it.

Let’s remedy that now.

I’ve got an ebook that goes deep on the subject, but everyone should at least know the basics of how to treat themselves well.

Our manifesting success depends on it, since the Universe can only be as good to us as we are to ourselves.

Without further ado, here are my top five favorite methods to engage self-love:

1. Say something nice every night.

I learned this one from Jack Canfield, who looks himself in the eye every night in the bathroom mirror after he’s brushed his teeth, to say a couple of nice things to himself.

The same way he’d say something supportive or encouraging to his kids or a valued employee, he turns that love on himself before bed every night.

When I do this, it might be a shoutout for how well I handled something that day, or a simple rampage of appreciation on my good hair day, or what a clever outfit I put together, or how smart I was to remember that thing that needed remembering.

Jack said his negative self-talk disappeared after 40 days of that practice. (!)

I can vouch for how this self-love practice can take hold and dramatically improve our overall self-talk once we get a good practice going.

2. Say yes to what you want.

This practice is all about saying no when it’s a genuine no, and saying yes when it’s a genuine yes.

I do my best not to fall for the old routine of living according to others’ expectations or desires.

My preferences matter most. That’s a rebellious act of self-love for this former people-pleaser!

The other day I found myself strongly drawn to a piece of art that seemed a little expensive. Okay, a lot expensive (for me).

But were this my girlfriend, who I knew could easily afford it, if I saw her drooling over it yet refraining from purchase because it seemed extravagant, I would have encouraged her to let herself have what she wants.

And so I did.

For others, self love might be the opposite – saying no to an expenditure in order to secure finances.

It’s potentially different for us all, and only you know what your version of love looks like.

Just say yes to what you want, as best you can.

(And if you read this and immediately started thinking why you can’t say yes to what you want, please rethink that. No matter our circumstances, there is a way based on the options we are allowing ourselves that we can choose what we prefer, even if we’re working with less than our ultimate ideal options.)

3. Write a worthiness reminder.

I don’t do this daily, but every once in a while I pull out a piece of paper and do a page of “I am worthy” affirmations.

That’s where you write “I am worthy” on each line of the page until it’s full. The way I do it is to finish each line with something desirable, like “I am worthy of good friends. I am worthy of ideal health. I am worthy of helpful support.” etc.

The first time I did it (which I did without expectation – just so I could tell my clients I’d done it myself), my life exploded with good news within 24 hours. There was unexpected money in my mailbox, big thanks in my inbox, good news on my voice mail – the blessings were everywhere I turned.
It made me an immediate fan of the practice, to say the least.

Part of a powerful self-love practice is reminding ourselves of our inherent divinity and perfection. While there are lots of ways to do that, writing it down really works for me.

4. Upgrade self-talk.

This is related to the nice words at night practice, but expanded by consciously paying attention to how I’m speaking to myself (and about myself) during waking hours.

If it’s not something I would say to a loved one, then I don’t deserve it either. I try to give myself the benefit of the doubt, be generous in my self-evaluations, and encouraging with inner dialogue.

Gremlins will give you lots of chances to practice this should you choose to engage this particular radical act of self-love. But it’s really good for your overall vibe to master this.

5. Handle with care.

My final favorite self-love practice is how I handle myself …

I mean literally handle.

When I brush my hair or get dressed or soap up in the shower or put on the lotion – all these are opportunities to touch myself the way someone who loved and appreciated and adored themselves fully would.

Not with irritation, judgment, or distraction – but with mindful, conscious love.

You know how to do that, too … there’s surely someone (or maybe something) in your life that you handle with respect and love.

It might be the way you scratch your dog’s head, or how you wash your baby’s hair, or the way you share a delicious bite of dessert with your sweetie – we know what it’s like to handle someone with love.

When you start handling yourself that way, well, trust me, you’re going to realize how nice it is.

I’ve shared other self-love tips before (and at GVU we’ve been known to do it on the phone and in writing together), but I’d love to hear yours as well.

What’s your favorite way to practice self-love?

(Listen on the podcast if you prefer.)

  • July 30, 2017
  • Laura Lynn says:

    Jeannette, thanks for this article. I’m packing to move all the way to Florida to live with my Mother, who has been diagnosed with Alzheimer’s Disease. So – needless to say, my emotions have been on a roller coaster! I bounce from hating that my life is turned upside down, to feeling the responsibility of the monumental task, and then swerve into a pity-party, followed by a pep talk about how I can make a difference. Not a pretty site!
    After reading your wonderful article, I want to expand my perceptions and begin to focus on things that I love about myself and how this will be the best experience of my life.
    Thanks, Jeannette – you are wonderful!

  • María Julieta Martín says:

    Loved it! You are a genius. I’ve been reading the goodvibe blog since 2014 but this is the first time I dare to write a reply. (Although I have introduced myself via mail) Greetings from Argentina! Thank you!

    • Jeannette says:

      Delighted to see you posting here, Maria, after reading all this time!
      So glad you’re finding value here, and thanks for popping in to comment! 🙂

  • Lisa says:

    Thanks for this, Jeannette. As always, your timing on your posts is impeccable. I also use the “I love that about me” strategy and it really helps me to defuse an otherwise self-deprecating moment.

  • HappySandra says:

    I channel my “Inner Diva”. I like to think of my Inner Diva as my Inner Spirit’s not-so-humble sister. Hey, I got to expect the best in order to get it. 😃 Even Abraham said,” When you ask it is given, but at some point you have to stop asking and start expecting.”
    If anyone needs more info about Divas, see “Unleash Your Inner Diva” from February, 2014. When this post first came out, I loved the manifesto so much, I copied it into my notes app on my phone, where I keep all my other fun LOA articles, my journal, etc. I also copied the corresponding photo to my phone to keep with all my other “photo affirmations”.

  • Well, these are kind of related, but will list them separately. 1) Make sure any “healthy” habits you are choosing you actually enjoy and/or resonate with For example, cutting out certain foods when you get extreme pleasure eating them is not going to serve you (unless of course, you don’t feel good physically after eating it) as this is denying yourself some self love of pleasure. 2) Remind your body of it’s ability to heal itself instead of always going to the default treatment of medication. Again, there are exceptions but in conjunction, it’s a wonderful way of honoring your body by reminding of it’s ability to heal and then helping activate it.
    I dealt with this over the winter when I was dealing with a (mildish) case of Lyme disease. It was 99% treated homeopathically but I also DECIDED I was going to be even healthier after. I imagined all my cells perfectly healthy and really listened to the wisdom of my body. I also made dietary changes the felt good and “right” for me – cut out dairy, sugar and gluten to kick my immune system in super high gear..
    My doctor is amazing how super healthy I am and what a strong immune system I have. I feel great, have no symptoms and honor my body everyday by telling it how beautiful it is and appreciating what a super healing machine it is… 🙂

    • Jeannette says:

      What a huge advantage you gave yourself, Laura, by deciding to be healthier than ever and seeing your cells in that state!
      Really good self-love tip. Thanks for posting it here! 🙂

    • Deb Stillson says:

      Laura ~ How awesome!!! I am going through self healing right now myself.
      I found this amazing book called “You Are the Placebo” and “Breaking the Habit of being Yourself” by Dr. Joe Dispenza. I am also going to one of his weekend retreats in a few weeks.
      His books and his story are a total match to what you are saying and practicing. I have been practicing the meditations as well as making necessary changes (darn the ego is a “wild child” that wants to have it’s own way…lol).
      It is nice to know there are others out there doing their “thang” in living the best life and being their authentic self…..remembering and taking back our power 🙂
      ^5 to you.
      Thanks Jeanette……your awesome posts and newsletters are always an inspiration 🙂

    • Laura Lynn says:

      Laura – Thanks for sharing your tip! This is a fantastic idea that I want to use immediately!

  • Sophie says:

    You forgot the one you taught me:
    Take something most people would consider “wrong about you” and genuinely say “I love that about me!”
    Like, I am really good at texting while driving and I love that about me!!!! LOL
    Acknowledging your “hidden” talents helps others acknowledge theirs too 🙂
    Love you Jeannette!

    • Karin says:

      Ohh Sophie that is so good! I love how naughty I am…mostly in my thoughts LOL but I’m amazed at how so many millennials I work with pick up on it and appreciate that about me!

    • Jeannette says:

      Ha ha! I DO love that practice, Sophie! And I love that you had to remind me of it. lol
      You’re such a dear! THANK YOU for chiming in here!
      And Karin – I love that you love that about yourself, too. 🙂

    • Eva says:

      What if the wrong with me is i’m being negative/pessimistic. If i say ‘i love that about my self’ wouldn’t it be counter productive?

      • Jessica says:

        Ah, but there are definitely reasons that being negative/pessimistic can be helpful, Eva! 🙂
        Like, for instance, sometimes it is completely delicious to be right when everyone else was being optimistic. Sure, it’s not my preference to be cranky or snarky or pessimistic, but sometimes that plan they’re concocting over there absolutely stands no chance of working, and isn’t it kinda fun to know that?
        I think I’d play with this in a Martha Beck sort of way–where if you make a list of 100 ways to get what you want, if at least some of them aren’t illegal, you haven’t tried hard enough. Where if you aren’t sometimes wasting time doing something unvirtuous, you’re probably holding yourself to an impossible standard…
        So, maybe let yourself revel in this side of you: the side where you see all the possible negative outcomes because you’re creative in a super dark, snarky way. Sometimes, after all, it’s the contrast that gets us where we want to go in the fastest way possible. Or does that sound too terrible? 😉

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