Care But Not Care
I thought it might be from Lao-Tzu, but I might have that wrong.
Anyway, what she said was that one of the keys to getting what we want is to “know but not know; care but not care.”
She is, of course, talking about being free of resistance and dwelling in the sweet spot of allowing.
This “caring, but not caring” is one of the aspects we’ll focus on in the Perfect Clients course next week. Martha said if you care deeply about something, you’ve got to let it go.
Sounds contradictory, huh?
But deliberate creators know that’s excellent advice because the more we care about something, the more we want it, the more attached we (often) become to it, which means the more we repel it.
So this trick of combining desire with allowing could be described as “caring but not caring.” I think Martha’s saying that you don’t want to release your desire (which is what some Buddhists practice, right?) but you also don’t want to be attached to it.
Martha had a beautiful moment of imparting this wisdom when she taught a participant how her version of “not caring” wasn’t serving her. I hope I can do it justice by trying to describe it in words …
In an attempt to show us the different ways of “not caring” Martha stood in front of the group, paused while she got in character, and then embraced what felt like flippant and slightly bitter energy (reminded me of a snotty brat teenager) and said with very biting words, ” I don’t care!” along with a caustic flip of her hand and head.
Then Martha paused for a moment to “not care” differently: she took on a very light and carefree energy (you know how you can feel the energy someone’s flowing even before they talk?) and with a half smile and open arms she said, “I don’t care” with complete freedom, enjoyment and openness.
Again, it’s hard to describe, but I hope you get a sense of what I mean.
Can you feel the different versions of not caring? The helpful one is a kind of not caring that comes from already being fulfilled, simply because the sky is blue and life is good.
Koelle shared a related concept as well, when she asked a woman what having a boyfriend was going to do for her. The woman said it would make her feel loved and supported and appreciated. Koelle asked her to start feeling those senses now. Because, Koelle said, when you can feel love and support and appreciation now, you no longer need a boyfriend for it – and that’s what lets the boyfriend happen. It eliminates the “need.”
Koelle’s basically talking about releasing resistance, and stepping into allowing by creating vibrational alignment.
So to love, to enjoy, to be at peace and be happy now – that’s the key, right?
This “not caring” conversation came about when we were doing a herding exercise in the corral, where it was easy to get “attached” to doing it right and getting successful results. It was a great opportunity to remember to have an end result in mind, but to approach it with a lightness and easiness that kept resistance out of the picture.
Honestly, it was easy to stay light and easy in that gorgeous setting with beautiful horses and generous people and happy dogs and the amazing energy of Koelle. But we can do it no matter where we are, who we’re with and what we’re doing. We can do it at work, at the mall, and with our ex.
Life is good and offers an abundance of reasons to be happy. Find your reasons, and as you stick with ’em, know that’s putting you in direct alignment with all your dreams coming true.