Once upon a time in middle school I made plans with my long time friend Jenny to go trick or treating together on Halloween.
But instead of meeting up with her, I went out with my new friend Cassie, without letting Jenny know or inviting her along. Not cool.
Dad let me know when I got home what a bad move that was. (Jenny’s mom had called looking for me on her daughter’s behalf, so he knew what was up.)
He admonished that when you give your word, you stick to it. When you say you’re going to do something, you do it.
In Landmark Forum they make a point of driving that lesson home, too …
On day one our leader got everyone to agree to be in their seat and ready to go on time for the rest of the workshop. He even got us to agree to help each other be present and attentive on time. When there were loiterers still chatting in the lobby after first break was over, and when he asked why we didn’t help our classmates get in their seats on time, we all got the lecture about breaking our word.
It could seem like overkill and making a big deal about nothing (“I was 30 seconds late – chill out, buddy”), but the point – made by my dad and our forum leader – is that keeping your word is a big deal.
Do what you say you’re going to do.
Conscious creators know better than most the importance of keeping our word, since our “word is our wand,” as my bff Florence Scovel-Shinn says.
If we don’t treat our word as meaningful, how can we expect Universe to?
If we haven’t learned that our word has power (and to take that power seriously), how can we expect to experience its power in our manifesting?
When what you say doesn’t mean much, you train yourself not to believe what you say.
So when you declare, “I am a money magnet!” it’s easy to doubt because you’re in the habit of throwing your word around loosely. You’ve said other things that you didn’t take seriously. (“Sure, let’s do lunch soon!”; “No, I don’t mind at all.”) This is just another one for the list.
And vice versa – when you keep your word because that’s what you do, then you learn that your word means something. It has power and impact. Your word can be relied on. It’s happening, because you said so.
Okay, so that’s the backstory for what I wanted to share today …
This morning as I was reading Charles Duhigg on the importance of focus and how those with strong mental models succeed more often than those without, it inspired me to tune in again to what I’m creating in life.
(Duhigg’s right, I figured. Holding a strong mental model of what you want is the key to getting there. I don’t suspect he’s a studied conscious creator but he sure sounds like one in this chapter.)
So for good measure, I tuned in again to what I’m creating. Big beautiful brave things.
And as my gremlin tried to chime in with a thought along the lines of, “Who do you think you are (to think you could create such big things)?” that gremlin got dismissed so fast it wasn’t funny. That critical voice didn’t get a foothold because I automatically and immediately knew: it’s happening because I said so.
That’s what happens when I give my word.
And I have been giving my word to this big dream! I have been speaking it for long enough that it feels natural, so it’s got some power invested in it!
I know that once I say so, it’s a done deal. There’s no backing out. There’s no waffling. It’s happening, because I said so. As drilled into me by my no-messing-around Marine Corps dad and that super strict Forum leader.
For those who get frustrated because it’s hard to get a commitment from me, I’m not hard to pin down because I’m a Libra who changes her mind on a dime. (Okay, maybe that, too. Mostly I’m difficult to pin down because once I say I’m doing it, it’s a done deal. And I just want to make sure I want it before I say it.
Meaning, I have been trained to make my word meaningful.
And here’s the cool part …
Treating my word like it means something translates really well to my conscious creation practice.
It’s why when I put something in writing, whether it’s an affirmation or a pray rain journal entry or a calendar appointment or a signature on a marriage license, that thing is happening.
Now I sound like the one making small things a big deal, but it’s why I’m reliable at creating what I speak and write and think. My word means something.
I realize as I write this post that I have room for improvement on this habit. I’m not perfect, and maybe it’s good enough as is. But this really isn’t intended to be about me …
I share this so you can be more aware of how you’re using your word and what you’re speaking into reality.
Here’s to using our word with integrity so our manifesting practices have strength, too. 🙂
For the record, conscious creation is not about thinking positive thoughts.
That’s a common myth among muggles, and sometimes even among studied creators.
Lots of muggles dismiss – or even ridicule – conscious creation because they say expecting someone who feels terrible to think positive is downright cruel.
I would agree.
But creating reality isn’t about thinking positive thoughts 24/7.
It’s about finding ways to feel better. From wherever you are right now.
That could mean taking a break, or meditating, or yes, finding a new thought to think.
But the new thought doesn’t have to be positive. It just has to feel better.
And a better feeling thought is not necessarily a positive one. At least not all the time, and not to someone else’s ears.
(Don’t judge – sometimes that’s what it takes!)
For example, sometimes the better feeling thought is, “Aw, who gives a &*$%.” Or “I hope he rots in hell.”
I’m not saying all hateful thoughts are better-feeling ones that create delightful realities, but I am saying that sometimes one person’s better-feeling thought can sound downright negative to another.
And that’s okay. Because it doesn’t matter how it sounds to anyone else. It only matters how it feels to the speaker.
Those “negative” thoughts are appropriate (and even life-saving) when we’re in a bad vibrational neighborhood. Getting to better territory sometimes includes thoughts that don’t sound very pretty.
And if we aren’t willing to think those things we can end up stuck in a negative place with no way out. (That’s why some folks who’ve learned to only think nice things get stuck in depression, because they’re not willing to get angry or pessimistic. Friend, that could be your ticket out!)
Abe says that’s because “you can’t get there from here,” meaning when you’re feeling depressed you don’t have access to joy and enthusiasm. It’s too big a vibrational leap.
You maybe can get to jealousy and revenge, for example. And the thoughts that get you to jealousy and revenge can lead to something incrementally better. And so on and so on.
It’s a process, not a quantum leap.
So I agree it’s unhelpful and even unrealistic to expect a discouraged or fearful person to engage thoughts of love and appreciation on a dime.
And that’s not what conscious creation is.
It’s about finding a way to feel better.
Which might include some swear words and things you wouldn’t want to post publicly.
So the next time someone tells you that “thinking positive” is a pollyanna approach that won’t solve anything in our negative world, well – you’ll find the thought that feels best to you. 🙂 And that’s what conscious creation is!
Quick post for those tuning in for the World Cup (although these tips can be applied to anything you’re creating) …
I’m not necessarily a sports fan, but I am a fan of using conscious creation to manifest whatever we want.
So for those wondering how to help their team bring home a World Cup win, here are my favorite law of attraction tips (as inspired by my chat with Zestology’s Tony Wrighton):
1. Forget about the odds (unless the odds are in your favor).
Odds are for muggles. (Unless it supports our desired outcome, in which case we leverage them! Because we’re flexible like that. We’re conscious creators who know how to set ourselves up for thought success!)
Whatever you do, stop thinking about how unlikely or difficult or challenging it is for your guys to win. Give up the story of how hard it is to pull off. That focus does not serve the manifestation you want. Instead …
2. Dwell on reasons to believe.
Make your desired outcome easy to believe in by reminding yourself why it could happen. What are the reasons to believe in a win? It doesn’t have to be a long list – even just a couple reasons will direct your attention in a way that amps up belief.
(And belief along with desire are the two keys to successful manifesting!)
When I’m not coming up with a bunch of reasons to believe in what I want, one of my favorite answers is, “Stranger things have happened.” I believe in strange things, and this could be one of those.
But you’ll likely have a nice compilation of reasons to believe, including a capable coach with a proven successful approach (he got us this far, didn’t he?!), strong players who have the whole country rooting for them, or even that we’re just plain due for a win!
You know what else always goes on my list? (And yes, I do write this list out on paper.) I know how the system works, and I’m working it right now. By focusing on reasons to believe, I am adding to the power of that outcome. (That’s one of my reasons to believe: I am engaging my manifesting superpowers!)
Another reason to believe, if your list feels light: it’s already happened, in one version of reality. You’re not even creating something that doesn’t exist – this version is already happening. It’s already a done deal (on some level, in some parallel universe). All you have to do is become the frequency of that version in order to experience it.
Bottom line: manifest your team as capable, not compromised. If the odds are in your favor, remember why your team is favored. You’re mentally exploiting whatever advantages you can conjure to enhance your belief in a win.
3. See it happen (before it does).
In your mind’s eye, play out this win in advance. Envision things coming together. The fans are incredibly enthusiastic. The team is gelled, the players are in the flow, they’re on fire! It’s happening – you can see it, right? You gotta be able to see it. And feel it … feel the player’s triumph. Feel the fans explode with joy. Feel the excitement from the announcers. Feel the pride and the camaraderie with everyone else celebrating this win.
If you’re feeling now how you’d feel then, you’re clicked in. Ruminate in it for 30-60 seconds. Repeat as inspired or know that just one activation is all it takes. For extra effect, you might even celebrate the win in advance, like this win was already cinched.
4. Decide to feel good no matter what.
With this tip I’m asking you to activate appreciation. When you’re in appreciation mode, you’re not attached. And attachment can kink up a vibe in a hurry.
So decide you’re going to enjoy it either way. Don’t make your well-being or happiness dependent on game results. I mean, hasn’t it been fun to get here? Isn’t it a delight to feel the excitement of an entire country? Aren’t you loving seeing all these fans come together for this purpose? It’s already been a good time. No matter how it turns out, that’s still true.
5. Let it go.
This can be a tricky ask for some, but it really does bring extra magic when you get the hang of it. I’m talking about doing your focusing work, then letting it go.
Hand it over. Let the powers that be play with it next. Your part is done.
Obsessively turning this over in your mind can sometimes be a sign of kinky vibes. Someone who was enjoying themselves wouldn’t constantly fret or worry about what might happen. They do their part and then let it go.
(That’s why so many of our easiest manifesting successes are the ones we didn’t care about too much – just one little light thought, we forget about it, and then poof! – it’s happening before we know it! It’s because we didn’t hold on to it.)
Thoughts that might help you accomplish this tip are to remember that it’s just a game and life is meant to be fun. Not important. Not serious. Everything goes our way much more easily when we hold our desires lightly and with joy. Making this win a big deal isn’t actually conducive to success.
Extra tip for athletes competing on the field: play like you’re a winner. Not like you’re trying to win, or hoping to, or even wanting to. And certainly not like you need to. Play like the winner. It’s a different vibration – can you feel it?
Don’t wait for some score or trophy to feel it. You lead this party. Feel it first, right now, and throughout. Good vibes there.
(That’s also why so many winners keep winning. They know the vibe! It’s why the rich get richer and the poor get poorer. The vibe we hold dictates what follows. So get the winning vibe in place and carry on!)
As I mentioned before, these tips are good not just for bringing home the World Cup but also for anything else you’re in the mood to manifest.
And for anyone asking “What happens if everyone does this, and we’re rooting for opposite outcomes?“, the answer is three-fold:
This post series is about how to be rich.
Conscious creators know that once we adopt the vibration of rich it has to become our reality.
That’s how law of attraction works and that’s the best way to become rich.
It’s not about spending less or saving more, or cutting up credit cards or finding better investments, or figuring out how to make more.
Creating financial prosperity is about becoming that vibrational frequency.
Once we’re on the same energetic wavelength as wealth and abundance, it manifests. Effortlessly, enjoyably, and very often swiftly.
That means we just need to practice feeling rich now. Find ways to feel now how you would feel then.
That’s what the latest course at Good Vibe U leads us through. Before our bank account balance changes, before the debt is erased, before we get a gigantic raise or marry rich, we’re going to find ways to feel rich here and now.
That’s all it takes. Because once we’re dialed there, we just follow inspiration to financial dreams come true.
So the trick is … how to feel rich before you are?
Here are six reliable ways to do that:
(Note: you don’t need to do all six. Embracing even one will do nicely!)
1. Stop thinking that you aren’t already rich.
That knowing contradicts your rich vibration and slow progress. Start seeing how you are rich, already.
Yes, it might take some new thoughts to see things that way, but if you keep looking for it you’ll eventually see how you are rich already.
(Because that’s how law of attraction works – we get whatever we look for.)
In fact, I ran across this reminder from Tim Ferris today.
2. Start living rich.
Yes, you can. (I know your gremlin just popped in saying something like, “But I can’t live rich before I have the money to spend!”)
Yes, you can. Introduce little things or actions to your environment or daily routine that represent wealth to you.
For me that includes keeping a clean car. Taking a shower before it’s necessary. Making time for yoga. Dusting the desk.
Those are just a few of my things that make me feel like I’m living rich. Your “wealth prompts” will be different than mine. But that’s another way to activate the vibrations of prosperity and abundance.
3. Bless others’ abundance.
I once knew a fellow creator who exclaimed “Mahalo!” anytime she saw someone else living what she wanted. Whether it was a car or a relationship, that’s how she called it into her own world – by celebrating whenever she saw someone else with it.
I once heard mahalo defined as “blessing the space between us.” I don’t know if that’s an accurate translation (probably not), but I like that idea and the practice.
When you can celebrate someone else’s prosperity as if it were your own, you align with it. When you begrudge another for having it, or feel jealousy or envy, that puts distance between you and your wealth.
You can’t begrudge anyone else their abundance while still attracting your own.
4. Log your favorite rich memories.
Tell yourself the story of your most wealthy experiences. Re-immerse in what it was like like to feel really rich.
You could journal it, tell someone else the story, or just recall it in your mind’s eye, but however you leverage a past experience when you personally felt rich is an easy way to tap this vibe.
I use the time when years ago I was standing in a Walmart trying to decide whether to buy the cheetah-spots cat bed or the tiger-striped cat bed. I was taking so long to choose, that with my boyfriend waiting on me, I just decided to get them both. When I put both beds in the cart he said, “Oh, I forgot. You’re a billionairess.”
It sounds funny (and it was to me), but you know what? I did feel rich!
Or that time my retirement specialist friend from Fidelity opened my fridge door to find strawberries in there, and shouted at me, “Organic strawberries in December?! Do you have any idea how much these cost?”
And I didn’t (have any clue what they cost). It made me smile to realize that. I felt rich in that moment, and still get juice from it all these years later.
5. Pre-experience wealth in virtual reality.
Imagination is our superpower, fellow creators. Muggles dismiss it, but with imagination engaged we can create anything.
Here’s my favorite way to activate a really rich visualization:
Come up with three answers to each of these three questions:
When you have named those nine things, you are using your superpower nicely.
6. Close the gap on your rich self.
This is my hands down favorite way to align to wealth, not just because it’s super fun but because when you can pull this off results come in swift fashion!
Here’s how it works: Tune into the version of you that is living rich, and notice what’s different about that version of yourself. Do you walk differently? Is your smile the same? Do you sit in your chair differently? Do you answer the phone the same way?
Notice whatever’s different between rich you and current you, and then close the gap where you can, one little habit or difference at a time.
We’re going to have a lot of fun with this one at GVU!
If you’re liking this post series and want to take a deeper dive on the topic, we officially begin Tuesday. You can become a member today and get access to the full course materials and forum posts.
Earlier this month I suggested there is a better way to be rich than what we typically hear from financial experts or best selling money books.
I promised a follow up post series on that subject that has since turned into a full fledged course at Good Vibe University. (It begins July 10th.)
Over the next week at this blog I will publish the foundation of what I believe is really required in order to be rich. For those of you who want a deeper dive in this material, join me at GVU next month for a six part course where we will not just study these principles, but will put them into real time practice together.
Let’s begin with getting clear on a couple of key principles before we start manifesting fabulous financial prosperity. Busting muggle myths about money is a good starting point for engaging the magic that makes the difference …
Here’s what I think is essential to know when it comes to successfully creating wealth and abundance:
Myth #1: Money is what makes you rich.
Truth: Money is what shows up once you decide you are rich.
Most people think the money comes first and that’s what makes one rich. But the way our system works is that the money comes in response to feeling rich. It’s what keeps most people from having the money they want – they don’t know how to feel what isn’t so in their reality yet.
It’s a catch 22. But there is a workaround – and that is your all-powerful imagination. That’s how you break out of a current reality to create a new one.
Myth #2: Making money requires certain specific action.
Truth: Making money requires a specific vibration.
The essential ingredient to wealth isn’t what you do, it’s what you vibrate. Actions are a result (not the cause) of abundance. What I mean is that actions are incidental, not primary, to creating abundance.
Being rich isn’t about figuring out how to make it happen through the right actions. It’s about training your energetic instruction into one of wealth and prosperity rather than striving and lack.
Myth #3: Money (and the desire for it) isn’t spiritual
Truth: Everything that exists is spiritual.
Everything that exists comes from Spirit. Including money. So get over it if that one’s been tripping you up. There’s nothing wrong with having or wanting money. Period.
Myth #4: Making money is hard.
Truth: Keeping money out of your life is more challenging and requires more focus than letting it in.
It takes way more energy to block the natural abundance that is yours rather than to conjure it into reality. Abundance is our default state, so when we stop doing the things that block it, money flows in naturally, joyfully and easily.
Myth #5: You’re not good at manifesting money.
Truth: You are excellent at it already!
However you are manifesting money to be – whether it’s plenty or hardly any – you are a master manifestor money already. You’re either manifesting it here or not here, and either way it shows you’ve got money manifesting skills.
So you don’t have to learn any new skills – it’s just a matter of putting your current skills to better use.
This is so much easier than you ever thought it to be.
You ready to have some fun with money? It’s ready for you, too.
Stay tuned next week for the second post in this series where we learn the ways to really be rich.
And if you’d like to tune in for the full course at GVU, you can join now and get started on your prep work before the course officially begins on July 10th.
I got a text from a 12 year old girl who is one of the most compassionate, generous, considerate people I have ever met.
She has gorgeous brown eyes, the loveliest curls a girl could ever ask for, and the physical strength of a true warrior. She plays a mean game of soccer, devotes her free time to nurturing abandoned cats, and babysits her little nephew with joy in her heart.
She’s an excellent student, and has the kind of manners that you don’t often run into these days (in kids or adults).
This girl is a treat to meet.
And she’s breaking my heart, because she wants to be skinny.
She weighs more than most others her age, and she is not comfortable with that. She doesn’t know what’s wrong with her, and is desperate to change it.
Here’s what I want that 12 year old girl to know, and anyone else who is unhappy with their body:
Lots of skinny girls don’t like their bodies either. Skinny isn’t the answer. A different anything isn’t the answer. You’ll just find something else to not like about yourself (or your life) if you change your weight without changing how you feel about yourself.
Weighing less doesn’t necessarily mean you will be healthier or have a better social life.
What you really want is to feel good about yourself and your body; to love and be loved.
The best way to like your body is to practice now, in the body you’ve got today. Practice liking your body. (It’s not as hard as you think it is. And seriously, if you can trim the nails of an angry squirming cat, you can do anything, girlfriend.)
Loving your body will transform it and you.
The way to practice body love is to simply start treating yourself – in thought and action – the way you would treat someone you love. That includes saying nice things to it and doing nice things for it. You wouldn’t abuse or criticize or withhold love from your favorite person – give your body that same respect.
When you say you just want to be healthy, the best way to do that is to listen to what your body wants. She will tell you what and how much to eat, when to eat it, when and how to move, when to rest, etc. Learn to listen to her. She is the best authority on your health and well-being.
That’s it. That’s what I would want this girl and any other person who doesn’t like their body to know.
Your body deserves your love and kindness. When you learn to treat your body well, it will do the same for you. Maybe that means weighing less, and maybe not. But it won’t matter when you’ve got what you really wanted all along – which is to like yourself.
Many of you reading already know this. Do you practice it in the way you want to? It’s advice I suspect we could all benefit from taking more to heart, myself included.
Here’s to learning to love who we are, as is, right now. That sounds like a good time to me. 🙂
For anyone who wants a deeper dive on this subject, I wrote an ebook for it. It’s written from personal experience with self-loathing and the transformation that happens when we self-love instead.
Body love is worth getting good at.
I know some who are reading now are familiar with the pain and angst of not liking their physical selves – we’d love to hear your words of wisdom, too.
Last weekend mom made a fabulous pasta salad filled with all sorts of good things – cucumbers, tomatoes, garbanzo beans, black beans, olive oil, cheese cubes, and other good stuff that I can’t go confirm because I ate all the leftovers already.
When we were enjoying our first helping, someone asked what kind of cheese it was. (Mozzarella.) Which launched a discussion about which kind of cheese is best for you.
We were remembering differently about what the healthy cheeses are, and that’s when I decided the consensus isn’t important to me.
I get to decide what’s healthy for me.
And I declare this cheese as the healthiest for me. Right now. Because I’m cool like that. I say what goes (for me).
Then earlier this week I was wondering about our puppy adoption process, and whether we needed to do home checks to make sure we got everyone in good homes. Just to confirm we did right by all those foster puppies.
As I was grappling with whether we needed to follow up or not, I decided that all those adoptions were fabulous, all those adopters are amazing, and all those puppies are set to live happily ever after where they are treasured and adored members of their new families.
Because I said so. Because I know how to use my conscious creation powers.
Instead of trying to figure out is it “this” or is it “that” – I remember that everything is happening. Everything “good” and everything “bad.” It’s all happening.
The only question is which do I choose? (i.e. which do I vibrate?)
So of course when I’m in my right LOA mind I choose the preferred thing. The one where mozzarella is good for me and puppies live happily ever after.
I’ve been liking this routine so much that I turned the process into an official declaration:
I declare, by the power vested in me as a Conscious Creator from Source Energy, that this is a good idea.
And it settles the matter. There’s no longer any doubt in my mind. I no longer entertain any unwanted options. It’s settled.
The Powers That Be have spoken. (Me being the “Powers that Be.”)
(Yes, I am name-dropping when I invoke Source Energy, but it makes it feel even more official. Kind of like a “Do you know who I am?” sort of acknowledgement. I am a Creator. Descended directly from Source Energy. It doesn’t get any more authoritative than that.)
It’s been really fun making new declarations:
I like it so much I could go on all day.
In fact, I have been. I’ve been pointing my power all over the good places. Because I can. (“I declare this tree will live.” “I declare this show will be worth watching.” “I declare they will call when my phone is recharged.”)
It kind of makes me giggle.
Thought I’d share it with anyone else who is in the mood to use their power by declaring good things for themselves. 🙂
Actually, it’s fair to say I’m still processing remnants of it and finding my way back to a good groove again.
But with this recent experience in mind, I thought I’d pass along a couple tips that have helped me through dark times.
The next time you’re dealing with something highly unwanted (like divorce, job loss, financial troubles, loss of a loved one, health issues, or whatever might have you feeling like the world is crashing around you), here are five things for conscious creators to remember:
1. This won’t last forever.
It might seem like the end of the world, but it really will get better. It’s just your time for contrast.
Ride it out to get to the other side, where life gets even better as a result of what you’re living through now. It’s just a time of “step one.” It doesn’t last forever.
2. It’s okay not to feel okay.
Sometimes conscious creators get nervous about feeling bad, because of that whole like attracts like thing. And sometimes we have judgment about not being able to get to a better feeling place on a dime.
But the thing is resisting feeling bad just makes it worse. So let yourself feel whatever you feel, and know that’s the best way to move on.
3. Lay low in the meantime.
This is a good time to cut yourself lots of slack from daily life. Make some room in your schedule for you and eliminate whatever you can that doesn’t offer relief.
Know that while it might be helpful to share what you’re going through with a trusted friend or two as a way to process, you might not want to broadcast your current experience to the entire world. The last thing you need is everyone you know sending “sorry” vibes your way.
You’ve got enough on your plate without others amplifying negative energy by worrying or feeling concerned about you. Plus, it gives you a break from having to talk about it with everyone who wants to know how you’re doing.
Not to mention it takes a lot of energy to process heavy emotions, so give yourself plenty of solo time to do so.
4. Thoughts that feel bad aren’t true.
This one has been a lifesaver lately … every time a scary thought gets hold and threatens to do its worst, I remember what Abe says about thoughts that don’t feel good:
If a thought doesn’t feel good, that means my inner being doesn’t agree with it. Which means Source sees things differently. That’s my cue to practice seeing it differently, too.
I also found Byron Katie’s four questions with a turnaround helpful in finding better-feeling thoughts.
But whatever you do, remember that any thought that doesn’t feel good isn’t even true, so no need to obsess on it.
5. Don’t go it alone.
You might feel totally alone in what you’re going through, but you’re not. You’ve got a team of divine support that you can call on for help.
I asked my angels and guides to help me feel better and help me see things differently. I asked them to help me sleep, and to help me reconnect with Source. I asked them to handle other things for me while I’m in this space, and I asked them to help me know whatever I need to know.
Use your higher power, whoever that is for you, to get top notch support in place.
You’ve probably got incarnated support as well, so let friends and loved ones help however they can. It’ll be good for both of you.
And know that I’m also sending the love your way when it feels like all is lost. It’s no fun to go through dark times, but it isn’t forever and you’re not alone.