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To the Girl Who Doesn’t Like Her Body

weight loss through body loveI got a text from a 12 year old girl who is one of the most compassionate, generous, considerate people I have ever met.

She has gorgeous brown eyes, the loveliest curls a girl could ever ask for, and the physical strength of a true warrior. She plays a mean game of soccer, devotes her free time to nurturing abandoned cats, and babysits her little nephew with joy in her heart.

She’s an excellent student, and has the kind of manners that you don’t often run into these days (in kids or adults).

This girl is a treat to meet.

And she’s breaking my heart, because she wants to be skinny.

She weighs more than most others her age, and she is not comfortable with that. She doesn’t know what’s wrong with her, and is desperate to change it.

Here’s what I want that 12 year old girl to know, and anyone else who is unhappy with their body:

Lots of skinny girls don’t like their bodies either. Skinny isn’t the answer. A different anything isn’t the answer. You’ll just find something else to not like about yourself (or your life) if you change your weight without changing how you feel about yourself.

Weighing less doesn’t necessarily mean you will be healthier or have a better social life.

What you really want is to feel good about yourself and your body; to love and be loved.

The best way to like your body is to practice now, in the body you’ve got today. Practice liking your body. (It’s not as hard as you think it is. And seriously, if you can trim the nails of an angry squirming cat, you can do anything, girlfriend.)

Loving your body will transform it and you.

The way to practice body love is to simply start treating yourself – in thought and action – the way you would treat someone you love. That includes saying nice things to it and doing nice things for it. You wouldn’t abuse or criticize or withhold love from your favorite person – give your body that same respect.

When you say you just want to be healthy, the best way to do that is to listen to what your body wants. She will tell you what and how much to eat, when to eat it, when and how to move, when to rest, etc. Learn to listen to her. She is the best authority on your health and well-being.

That’s it. That’s what I would want this girl and any other person who doesn’t like their body to know.

Your body deserves your love and kindness. When you learn to treat your body well, it will do the same for you. Maybe that means weighing less, and maybe not. But it won’t matter when you’ve got what you really wanted all along – which is to like yourself.

Many of you reading already know this. Do you practice it in the way you want to? It’s advice I suspect we could all benefit from taking more to heart, myself included.
Here’s to learning to love who we are, as is, right now. That sounds like a good time to me. 🙂

For anyone who wants a deeper dive on this subject, I wrote an ebook for it. It’s written from personal experience with self-loathing and the transformation that happens when we self-love instead.

Body love is worth getting good at.

I know some who are reading now are familiar with the pain and angst of not liking their physical selves – we’d love to hear your words of wisdom, too.

  • June 23, 2018

How To Love Your Self

how to love your selfOne of the most common questions from creators wanting physical change in their body is how to love your body when you don’t feel beautiful.
The question came in again after I released an ebook on the subject last month:

My question is what does that actually look like to love your body even when it’s not what you prefer?
I mean, what did you actually “say” to yourself during those times? When I look in the mirror, and get so bummed, get dressed and the physical evidence of clothes being tight … I want to cry!
When I try to fake it till I make it, and say something like “I appreciate my body for being strong and healthy, my mind goes back to what’s in front of me. And if I even try to say something like “I rock! I’m sexy no matter what” my mind adamantly replies “you are full of shit”!
I feel like I’m not doing this stuff right.

I responded that we weren’t trying to see something that wasn’t there, or pretend it was other than it was. But rather we practice seeing it in a more loving and appreciative way.
Which is hard when we’ve practiced criticism and judgment for so long.
What I did was look in the mirror and practice looking for curves instead of fat rolls. Curves are womanly. They can be sensual, if you practice seeing them that way. We’ve just been hypnotized into hate for so long that we don’t see beauty without consciously changing our perspective.
I would also think of some of the beautiful women online who have shared pictures of their bigger selves, and how sexy they were. And if they could be sexy – and undoubtedly they were – if they could be sexy in their bigness, why not me?
I just practiced seeing it. It wasn’t easy, or immediate, but we get whatever we look for long enough.
I also remembered how good it feels to hug someone with some heft to them. Isn’t that the best hug? And now I was someone with some heft to herself. I’m a woman of substance! I can get down with that.
Somedays I’d see my mom’s family in the mirror when I looked at myself – they’re not dainty women. They’re strong, beautiful European women. And I LOVE them! They are lovers of life! They give the best hugs! They laugh with gusto! They eat with gusto! They enjoy life! They don’t sweat it what size they’re wearing. They’re lovely, loving women. And I could be one of those women, too, maybe. A lovely, loving woman. I could start to see it as a good thing instead of a cursed thing.
Sometimes I would try to see what my boyfriend say when he said he loved my butt. What could be loving about this butt?? But the more I looked, the more I could see it. It did have a nice shape and a nice feel. (Not gonna lie – it does!) I could see how he was a fan.
And that’s all it was – practicing seeing it with new eyes where it isn’t easy at first.
Little by little, not giving up, being persistent at finding the treasure that this body is. Because guaranteed our bodies are true treasures, and if we keep looking for that, we’ll eventually see it because we always get whatever we’re willing to see.
I asked for permission to post her question, because I thought you all would have good input, too. She said yes, and added this:

My thing is I can’t seem to get past the feeling of the fat rolls on my back, or whatever, which only thrusts me back into reality, which is what I’m supposed to be not focusing on! How in the world can I get to the point you were at in the shower, not even realizing you got thin again until you ran your hand across your belly? I am looking for it at every turn. How did you just forget the bigger body you were in??

And I told her that I didn’t forget it. I found the love in it. I didn’t pretend it was something different, I just changed the way I saw it. And that changes everything, when we learn to look with love.
Just like that exchange between Sarah Silverman and her troll. She responded with love and it transformed the situation.
We’re looking to do the same thing with our selves.
That’s what I told her.
But I thought maybe someone here might have a different way of saying it or a different approach altogether? Let’s share tips that work.
Thanks in advance, everyone!

  • January 6, 2018

3 Things I Wish Everyone Knew about Their Body

Body Love ebook and audioIn honor of my latest ebook on Manifesting the Body You Love, I’m sharing three things I wish everyone knew about their body.

After more than a decade of working with fellow creators to manifest physical changes in their body, these are a few things I’ve learned along the way:

1. Your body is working for you, at all times, even when it doesn’t seem like it.

“Symptoms” and illnesses are not a sign of failure on your body’s part. They are actually in service to your healing and your highest good.
Any time we feel inclined to judge or criticize something going “wrong” in our body is a sign we’re operating under an illusion.
Our bodies aren’t betraying us. Rather, they’re either in the active process of healing or they’re simply following our own bad instructions.
The good news is we can change those instructions. In fact, even judging it as “going wrong” is an instruction the body has to follow!

2. Your body is capable of more than you’re allowing.

We limit what’s possible in our bodies by what we believe. Most of us have been trained into a very narrow thought stream about what our bodies can and can’t do.
When we drop those constraints about what’s possible, our bodies rise to the occasion.
And that’s when things get really fun. There are plenty of people already proving it!

3. Your body knows best.

Anyone who doesn’t know your vibration is not in a position to know what serves your physical form best. (And no one knows your vibration better than you.)
That means anyone writing a prescription, creating a workout, or offering diet instructions should take second chair to your body’s own wisdom.
That’s not to say that muggle experts don’t sometimes present us with just the solution needed, but you don’t know for sure until you check in with your body.
The thing is our bodies are telling us what they want every moment of every day. They’re constantly calling us forward on the path of well-being, when we take the time to listen. 🙂
When we learn to trust that our bodies know how to thrive, and we let them lead the way, our experience of our physical selves gets better than we ever dreamed.
Here’s to partnering with our bodies and loving them into their highest expression, rather than that other routine we may have been doing for so long.
You’re invited to check out the ebook and give your body some love today. 🙂

  • December 27, 2017

How Are Your Thoughts Looking?

Manifesting Weight Loss with Law of AttractionEven savvy creators fall for it …
When we want to drop weight, common wisdom has trained us to clean up our diet and increase movement.
After all, everyone “knows” you can’t lose weight without watching what you eat and/or making an exercise commitment.
It amazes me how often skilled creators default to muggle weight loss methods, even though they know we live in a vibrational world that arises from our thoughts.
Granted, whatever we believe strongly enough, we will see evidence of.
So some people do get results by restricting calories and sweating up a storm.
But for those who are looking for more efficient results in manifesting physical change, it’s worth starting with what matters …
Our thoughts. That make up our vibration.
Instead of swearing off pancakes and vowing to take the stairs, start with an inventory of your thinking.

  • Are your thoughts sexy and healthy, or are they flabby and critical?
  • Is your self-talk creating a thriving body, or is it sabotaging your physical prowess?
  • Are your dominant feelings ones of self-loathing and discouragement, or are they appreciative and encouraging?

This is where savvy creators begin  with the vibration – long before we do any evaluation of food and movement.
We start by making sure our thoughts are lined up with what we want.
Because that’s what really matters.
Are your thoughts those of a healthy, beautiful, strong, energetic person? Or are they thoughts of a critical, tired, out of shape person?
You can’t get the body you want while thinking thoughts about a body you hate.

That’s not to say you can’t get results by taking a traditional focus on food and exercise, but best leverage comes from vibrational tweaking at the start.

Once you know what lean/healthy/sexy/strong/or whatever-you-want-your-body-to-be thoughts are – and that’s what you’re thinking more often than not – then it will occur to you to make helpful changes.
You’ll make those changes from inspiration, not willpower. It will be enjoyable, not a slog.
But making those changes without having the right vibration in place is pointless.
(Which is why there are so many frustrated and disappointed dieters out there.)
We start with the vibration. Not the diet. Not the exercise.
We cultivate the feelings of what we want, and then listen to inspiration for what comes next.
Sometimes just changing the instruction you’re giving your body is enough to create the change. (I’ve seen it happen!)
Sometimes your inner guidance will show you the next step to getting there.
Like that time I consciously dialed onto body love instead of body loathing, and shortly after I got all lit up about a NutriBullet. (I still love my NutriBullet!)
It would be easy to say that thing changed my life, but the truth is, the new vibration changed my life. The vibration of love instead of loathing; the vibration of healthy and beautiful instead of declining and out of shape.
So the next time you’re in the mood to manifest physical change in your body, start with an inventory of your thoughts.
That’s where savvy creators start.
PS – if you don’t know the thoughts of body love, one of these vibration activation scripts might help: healthy body, weight loss, feelin’ sexy. You might also enjoy this podcast.
But however you do it, giving your body the love it deserves is the best way for it to love you back!

  • July 15, 2017

Does Acceptance Foil Potential?

Does Acceptance Foil Potential?If you’ve ever wondered whether accepting your present reality eliminates motivation to manifest the dream, you’re not alone.
Whether you’re after professional success, new love, more money or a better body, many are hesitant to appreciate what is (let alone accept it) for fear things won’t change.
I’ll share my thoughts in comments, but this one comes up often enough to run it by you all.
Here’s the latest version of the question:

I had a question about practicing self-love and acceptance for the body … I have been doing that, and felt huge relief.
But what’s the difference between surrendering/acceptance and giving up? For example, I was the top student in school (I really liked it and desired it a lot), but I feel like if I had been totally accepting of what is and not doing any work, I wouldn’t have had that success.
I’m just wondering if I’m not asking enough of myself. I don’t have to beat myself up to challenge myself, but it feels kind of weird for an achiever like myself to be totally cool with size 14 (even though that is totally cool). It feels like I’m not fulfilling my potential.
I would appreciate your thoughts!

Fellow creators, what say you …
Is there a difference between accepting and giving up? And what impact does that have on accomplishing our true desires?
Do you find that acceptance of what is prevents progress toward what you really want?
Thanks in advance, my friends!

  • January 30, 2016

It's Not About the Tea

Weight Loss with Law of AttractionThe other day someone asked how I’d managed to lose 20 pounds.
She was guessing the number, because all I know is I’ve gone from Beautiful to Cute to Ravishing past Hot on the Yay scale. If anyone knows how much that is, don’t tell me – I like living beyond the numbers!
I gave her the answer she was expecting, although it wasn’t an accurate or helpful one …
I told her what I’d been doing differently.
Conscious creators know how misleading that is – to attribute the change to actions only and not acknowledge the role of the vibrational shift.
The helpful and more accurate response to her question would have been to tell her how I’ve been feeling differently.
Because that’s where our entire reality comes from – our vibration.
It was factual to say that I’d begun drinking a daily detox tea. That was true.
But that’s not what any weight loss was a result of.
This weight loss began with finding the vibration of body love. Making that the norm rather than the exception for how I felt about myself. And then just following inspiration. Which led to Doc of Detox’s daily tea.
If I drank that tea with my old vibration in place, I doubt it would have any effect. Because it’s not actions that matter most – it’s the vibration.
Someone else could do the very same things and get a very different result.
As she found out when she started drinking the same daily detox tea. She got the opposite results, if you can believe it.
Conscious creators wouldn’t be surprised by that because we know everything arises from the vibration. A new vibration may inspire us to new actions, but it is inaccurate to attribute change solely to those actions.
The same action can lead to very different results for people flowing different vibrations.
Which is why this post isn’t about the most amazing detox tea I’ve ever found.
This post is a reminder that the vibration is what matters. Once we tune into the frequency of what we want, we’ll be inspired to take any actions that support that result.
That’s what we’re doing at Body Love Lab right now, but anyone who wants a hand in tuning into a new vibration can find one for a variety of dreams or desires in our Vibration Activation series. (Here’s the weight loss, healthy body, feelin’ sexy and the good news from the doc scripts.)
In the meantime, my next job is to drop my limiting beliefs about what I think muggles can hear and not hear. !!

  • July 29, 2015

How to Manifest a Pregnancy

Nathalie Thompson offers her personal experience in this guest post for conscious creators asking how to use the law of attraction to get pregnant:
How to Get Pregnant using Law of AttractionWhen my now ex-husband and I decided we wanted to start a family, I remember thinking how easy it would be. I would just stop taking my contraceptives and I would get pregnant, and all would be in order.
Because, really, according to all our high school health teachers, the very instant you even think about not using proper protection, you’re going to get knocked up, right?
At least, that was the way it was supposed to happen.
I remember being a little surprised the first month when it didn’t happen that way. And the second. And the third. On the fourth month, I got annoyed and impatient. On the fifth month, I started worrying.
And that’s when I found out that, at my age (32 at the time), it takes an average of 6 months of trying before you “catch.” So I thought, for sure, the next month would be the lucky one.
It wasn’t.
So I did what any woman hell-bent on conceiving does; I joined discussion forums where women all over the world could obsess together about the “two-week wait” and whether they had managed to get pregnant yet and what crazy things they would be trying next month to improve their chances if they hadn’t.
I also Googled everything I could about conception and the female reproductive system. And I came up with a fool-proof PLAN. I was on a mission, let me tell you, and this became a project that preoccupied most of my waking thoughts. There were even schedules, people!
And so, “trying” stopped being fun for either of us and instead became a chore; something that had to be done, according to my carefully wrought timetable of course, in order to achieve a particular desired outcome. (“You can’t go out to your game now, dammit — I’m ovulating! Just drop ‘em and let’s get this done!”)
And with every month that passed, it became more and more heartbreaking when the undisputable evidence that I still wasn’t pregnant presented itself. I began to think that it was never going to happen.
Until one day, about a year after we’d begun trying, I just gave up. I still wanted a baby, but I stopped focusing so much on that and on trying to do everything in my power to make it happen THIS month.
I was tired of getting my hopes up, tired of the disappointment and despair, tired of crying, tired of trying…. just tired of the whole frickin’ cycle.
Basically, I got to the point where I just accepted that if it was going to happen, it would happen in its own time, and there was nothing that I could do about it. I just gave it all up to the Universe.
And in true LOA fashion, that’s the point at which it did happen.
It happened when I stopped sending the constant signal out to the Universe that what I wanted most wasn’t in my life yet. It happened when I stopped trying to interfere with how it was going to happen and when I stopped insisting that it happen in a particular time frame.
I finally got pregnant when I stopped obsessing about becoming pregnant and just focused on living and enjoying my life as it was.
Nathalie ThompsonNathalie Thompson is the author of Seven-Minute Stress Busters and the Head Dream Catcher over at VibeShifting.com, where she helps people master the methods and mindsets of success and transform their dreams into reality.
Pick up her free Build Your Best Life quick-start guide and bonus video series and start creating a life you really love, today!

  • January 27, 2015

Losing Weight with Law of Attraction

Law of Attraction Weight LossAn LOA weight loss coach recently sent a guest post on how to drop weight using law of attraction.
I haven’t written about that subject lately, so I was interested to share it.
Until I read it.
It was about she used meditation and self love to stick to an organic raw foods diet.
Yikes! A lot of people could get the wrong impression from that – that her success came from eating a particular way.
She was all about using spiritual processes to stick to a “healthy” diet.
That is not LOA weight loss.
At least not my idea of it.
Because we don’t necessarily know what food or exercise serves our body best. But our body does. A nutritionist, a doctor, your physical trainer, your spouse – even an LOA weight loss coach – doesn’t know.
They can’t know, because they can’t hear your inner guidance.
Conscious creators know it’s all vibrational. And each of us is unique. What serves you nutritionally could be my undoing. And vice versa.
We can’t copy eating habits or exercise routines and expect the same results.
What we can do is learn how to activate the vibrations of what we want. And then do whatever feels best.
That’s my idea of consciously manifesting a more ideal body: find the frequency of body love and then follow her instructions. She knows best, all I have to do is listen for what she wants and then give it.
Maybe she does prefer organic raw food, but it would have to be her idea, because I would never impose that on her (again).

I did a bunch of crazy eating routines in my ridiculously misinformed youth – including an entire year of no sugar. Another year of no fat. A couple months of no processed foods, half a year vegan. And I won’t recount all the juicing and cleansing fasts. That’s insane stuff when it isn’t prompted by inner wisdom or body intuition.
One doc said I ruined my metabolism and launched adrenal fatigue with all the fasting and ridiculous diets. This was way before I knew about energy, attraction and my body’s wisdom.

If I were writing an article on how to lose weight with law of attraction, I’d say this:
Find the frequency of what you want, then do what feels best.
That’s it.
Finding the frequency of your desire could be done many ways:

There are lots of ways to shift the vibe. And that’s what you want to do first.
After that, learning to trust and respond to your body’s preference is your only work.
Sometimes your body might say ‘nap’ instead of ‘workout.’ She might prefer dancing over CrossFit. She might suggest chocolate instead of grapefruit one day.
When you’re dialed on what you want, you can trust whatever your body asks for.
You won’t know what serves best until you tune in to that frequency and listen for inspiration.
Lots of folks (mostly muggles, but some LOA savvy people, too) make decisions about what’s best for their body from a place of dissatisfaction, frustration or even fear. We’re not likely to make successful choices from that vibration.
And sometimes we mistake physical addictions for true desires, so it’s helpful to get clear on the difference. (That’s actually a great time for a skilled coach like the one who wrote!)
But imposing external rules that drown out our inner knowing is not the way to go.
So. For the record. To use your creative powers to manifest a more ideal body, just engage your skills to find the vibration of what you want and let your body lead you to it.
And when your inner guidance says “organic raw” or “gluten free” or whatever it might say, please don’t assume that’s the healthy diet we should all be on.

  • November 22, 2014
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