Of all the challenges deliberate creators may face, a diagnosis of cancer can strongly test our ability to stay happy and aligned (aka “in the vortex”). Even if we’re just supporting friends or family with cancer, our alignment can be tough to find.
Which is why I asked the brilliant LOA Coach Zoe Routh for her take on this topic:
When I was told I had cancer – almost six years ago now – I think I got belted as far as can be possibly imagined from the vortex. Terror, fear, despair are all pretty non-vortexy.
One thing I knew for sure at the time: that there was no way I would heal if I stayed out of the vortex in sludgy vibes. So my ‘work’ in dealing with cancer was to edge myself back into the vortex. (Quick primer on the vortex here.)
How the heck do you do that when you’re faced with a potentially life threatening illness?
First of all you face the facts.
Cancer is not some evil insidious invasion. It is just some cells that have gotten out of balance and freaked out. Kind of like kids on too much sugar. They’re not evil; their behaviour is.
So I made peace with my cells and sent them loving thoughts. I made peace with lots of my body parts. I made peace with lots of my life too – let go of ‘shoulds’, and ‘ought tos’, and obligations. I became a stress free zone. I opened up to all the loving support that started to flood my way, and felt myself edging much closer to the Vortex. This is when I started to see and feel appreciation for my experience.
I started focusing on each day, valuing the loveliness and delights of life in a way I had never seen or experienced before. Very vortexy.
When I went in for my surgery, I was a lot more aligned with well-being than I was before my diagnosis.
So when I got news on Friday that my five-month pregnant sister had breast cancer there was a distinct lack of hysterics. I thought to myself, ‘this is ok, this is manageable. She’ll be fine.”
Part of me was wondering, ‘should I be more upset? Was I being callous by not being more emotional?’
Well, duh, no! How is me being hysterical in any way going to help her get in alignment with well-being?
Time to face the facts again: she is in the care of very good doctors, the cancer type is not aggressive and localised, the surgery will likely remove all the troubled cells, people survive this treatment all the time with no problems, the baby is in no danger from the surgery or any post-operative treatment, she’s got a good and loving husband around her, my mum will be there to support her too and help with her two year old, she’ll be in and out of hospital in a day, and bonus extra – the breast reconstruction will mean removal of some belly fat and matching in shape and size – a tummy tuck and boob job at the same time, all covered under insurance – nice!
The fact is, if we think that it’s no big deal, that’s what it is.
If we catastrophise and imagine the worst, we set ourselves up for alignment with an unhappy ending.
I know what I prefer.
So I’m doing cancer in the vortex:
I’m thinking of cancer with a little ‘c’. I’m not buying into the hysteria and hype and statistics (these are as Abe says, just evidence of what other people have done with their energy and has nothing to do with this situation). I’m buying into the story that cancer is no big deal – treatments are fast, effective, and getting better and better.
I’m living proof there is life – a very good one – after a cancer diagnosis.
I’m hoping by my example I’ll invite my sister to the Vortex too.
How would you do cancer in the vortex?
Zoe Routh is a Magnetic Leadership coach and expert with over 20 years experience in leadership and personal development, maximising the potential of youth and adults through outdoor adventure. She has worked with thousands of individuals and groups and counts amongst her previous leadership roles Staff and Training Director of Outward Bound Australia, President of the Chamber of Women in Business, and Chair of the Outdoor Council of Australia. Zoe also develops and delivers leadership programs for the Australian Rural Leadership Foundation.
Zoe is committed to better leaders, better business, and better life for her clients. Get her tips when you subscribe to the Magnetic Leader at www.innercompass.com.au
The last two weeks I’ve had so much fun with a new little manifesting routine that it’s ridiculous.
It makes me giggle out loud even thinking about it. But it’s probably a misguided intention, truth be told.
I’ve been putting a spell on my belly. It goes like this:
“You are the flat belly of a 22 year old co-ed who majored in volleyball.” (I’m smiling again just typing it!)
I repeat it three times while rubbing said belly and then finish with three little pats and the words, “You know what to do.”
I told you it was ridiculous!
But it makes me laugh and it makes me trust my belly and I will also say – I am looking better than otherwise expected in these little summer tanks! (Cute little belly, you!)
However, if I’ve learned anything in my ups and downs as a deliberate creator, it’s that we don’t really want to weigh a certain amount or be a certain size or look a certain way.
What we want is to love and feel good about ourselves. That’s what we’re truly seeking when we start a new diet or exercise plan or – ahem – belly spell.
I know that.
And yet when Michele Woodward recently suggested that focusing on weight loss seemed very “social self” it was as if someone rang a big wake up bell inside my head.
In case you’re not familiar with the lingo, “social self” is somewhat of a four letter word in Martha Beck world. Here it is from Martha herself which I lifted from Pam’s excellent post on the topic:
The social self is the part of you that developed in response to pressures from the people around you, including everyone from your family to your first love to the pope. As the most socially dependent of mammals, human babies are born knowing that their very survival depends on the goodwill of the grown-ups around them. Because of this, we’re all literally designed to please others.
For example, many of our smiles are based on social convention. When you smile but don’t mean it, that’s your social self in action. When you say yes but mean no (or vice versa), that’s likely your social self in charge.
You with me so far?
Our essential self, on the other hand, is what Abraham might call our Inner Being. It’s the core of who we really are, and it is sourced from ultimate and pure divine love.
Okay, so that takes me back to Michele and her brilliant observation.
What do you think your essential self (aka Inner Being) thinks you should weigh? Or look like?
I’ve got a funny feeling my belly spell didn’t come from my Essential Self or Inner Being. I think it came from the part of me that wants to look good to others.
After all, what if I didn’t know what “looked good”? What if my social self grew up in a culture where round bellies were exalted? Would I be “spelling it away” then?
I’m pretty sure not.
I mean, think of the social conditioning required to make this seem like a good idea: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Neck_ring
So I may very well get the flat belly of a 22 year old co-ed who majored in volleyball, but I will not be a true winner as long as I’m using my manifesting prowess to satisfy my Social Self.
Know what I mean? Michele does.
Before you go, I’d love if you shared your thoughts on the subject!
That’s what someone asked me today. How to use law of attraction to get rid of cellulite.
Forget world peace and planetary health, let’s use our creative power where it really counts: on those thighs!
I get a lot of emailed questions, but I liked this one in particular.
Partly because I’ve been running into a similar obstacle with something I’ve been trying to get rid of lately.
Which is the recurring thought: “What’s wrong with people?!”
I don’t remember where it started – probably a conversation with someone in animal rescue. (I get tripped up on that subject sometimes.)
And now it’s popping up in all sorts of conversations.
… and there’s that thought again.
Which isn’t a surprise, since that’s how law of attraction works. I held the thought with strong emotion at some point, revisited it a time or two, and now Universe has it on my playlist. “What’s wrong with people?”
(not my proudest manifestation)
I don’t like it and I don’t want any more of it.
Kind of like how many of us feel about cellulite, right?
It’s easy to see where I’m going wrong with my “what’s wrong with people” mantra. Whether we’re battling cellulite or cancer or the IRS or exes with illegally obtained lawn mowers – it’s all the same.
When I resist it, it persists.
I create more cellulite (or other things to dislike about my body) when I loathe it. And when I push against a thought I don’t want, it replicates like rabbits in my mind.
So does that mean I should embrace my love for all that is wrong with people? Well, that would be an improvement to what I’ve been doing – which is trying not to think it.
It’s finally gotten to the point where I burst out laughing when I say it now. (Which is also a step up the vibrational scale – laughter!)
Because “trying” is no match against law of attraction.
If you want something to be gone, whether it’s cellulite or stupid people – here’s what works better:
I’m practicing this by not beating myself up when I hear myself repeating my “What’s wrong with people” mantra, and then consciously noticing what’s right with folks. And there is SO much evidence of that!
If it’s cellulite you want law of attraction to take away – start by stop making it such a problem.
Soften your thinking about it; let it be a smaller deal.
And then notice what’s RIGHT. Whith your body, your life, the world, whatever – get your attention on what’s easier to appreciate.
That’s the kind of vibration Universe can deliver you something good with.
Because anytime we do battle with something – whether it’s cellulite or thoughts or drugs or cancer or terrorists or true loves – we lose. And we deliberate creators know too much to play it that way.
Even though it’s none of our business, it’s not unusual to have questions about someone else’s experience.
Especially when it’s someone we look up to as an example of how to live.
To the extent we can learn from it, be inspired by it or feel better by looking, I am all for getting in someone else’s business.
Since we’ve learned from Abraham that disease is a result of our vibration, and we assume Esther and Jerry Hicks are pretty good vibration managers, it does naturally lead one to ask what’s up with Jerry Hicks.
Last Wednesday Jerry sent out out an email sharing these details:
On March 12 we slept next to the dock with many yachts from many different parts of the world in the slip right outside our window. The next morning I had a large welt on the inside of my wrist that looked like a spider bite. It seemed to resolve itself as time went along forming a pea-shaped nodule on my wrist.
On April 18, I showed it to a dermatologist in Del Mar and she immediately decided to scrape it off and sent it in for a biopsy. We … heard back from the biopsy results that there was something amiss relative to my white blood cell count and she put us in touch with a dermatologist. The subsequent blood test showed my white blood cell count was extremely exaggerated and the physician insisted I undergo immediate treatment with no delay. He pointed out a number of options, one of them was to use the “big guns” (heavy chemotherapy) and so we decided to go along with that and checked into the hospital on May 6th.
We were swept up in such an obvious current of amazing “path of least resistance” events unlike anything we’ve ever experienced before. The strong feeling that we were proceeding in exactly the right direction continued as my response to these “big guns” was a week of no discomfort and none of the highly forewarned side effects. Everyone around us at the hospital kept speaking their surprise at my unusually comfortable experience. We are now in day 18 of a 28 day regimen of bringing my blood counts back into perfect balance.
Jerry plans to rejoin Esther at the workshops after he regains 15 pounds. Read the full post here if you’re interested.)
From the notes I’m getting it’s clear that deliberate creators are wondering how Jerry was a match for this experience, when everything Abraham trains us toward would seem to steer us clear of something like this.
I’ll share my thoughts in the comments, which I invite you to do as well. Together maybe we’ll better understand how this all works.
More importantly, and in keeping with the advice Lisa shared in her article on Maria and Arnold, I’m inviting everyone reading this to hold nice strong happy healthy pictures of Jerry.
Quoting a fellow creator:
“Feel free to think about me strong, whole and healthy, but for God’s sake if you’re feeling sorry for me mind your own damn business.”
Update: Jerry Hicks passed away on November 18, 2011. Read Esther’s note about it here.
Deliberate creators know the “secret” is all about feeling good.
When we find ways to feel good, we create the vibrational alignment that ushers in the good stuff we’ve been wanting.
The challenge we sometimes face when it comes to feeling good is taking a measurement of reality.
Like balancing the checkbook. Or stepping on the scale. Or listening to voice mails for the message we’ve been waiting for.
Sometimes that measurement – or score – supports our feel good vibe; often it doesn’t.
So what’s a deliberate creator to do? Never again consult something that might jeopardize our fantasy of things getting better?
(I personally don’t think that’s a bad idea!)
But Abraham’s advice is simply not to take score too soon.
Earlier this week someone asked what to do when she’s been feeling good consistently and then steps on the scale to find that nothing has changed.
I’d reminded her the importance of self-love and self-appreciation for weight loss, and asked whether she would weigh someone she loved; whether her feelings about them would be dependent on what the scale reported. Which was a ridiculous thought – of course we don’t condition our love on our sweetheart’s weight. Why then would it be any different for us?
What should she be measuring then? she wanted to know. The inches with a tape measure? Or the fit of old clothes?
No, none of that!
“If you have to measure something, measure how you feel.”
Because that’s all that matters.
When the goal is simply to feel good, taking score loses importance. But if you insist on marking progress (which many say since we get what we focus on, measuring progress is a good idea), measure what really matters: your vibration.
If I felt better marking progress by measuring the vibe, I’d do it with an eye toward feeling better.
So if I’m feeling like 7 on the ten point scale, what would take me to 7.5? More comfortable clothes? If that one “ugh” appointment wasn’t on the books? If it was movie night?
Incorporate your answers into your day.
Getting caught up in “what is” is easy to do, so learning the habit of focusing on what you’re creating rather than what you’ve already created is super helpful.
Having said that, there are times when I do take stock. I look at the big money picture a couple times a year; I occasionally look up GVU and blog stats for fun. But only if it is for fun, not out of need or worry.
There are two conditions I require be present before taking score:
Which is why I don’t know what I weigh right now but do know my calves are looking fabulous; I’m not sure how the stocks have done but know the gold account is up 30%; I don’t know how many unread emails I have, but know there’s one from Frank Butterfield suggesting a joint venture with Communion of Light that really lights me up. I have no idea how many times I’ve been broken up with, but I remember the really nice first kisses.
Focusing on what we know feels good sets us up for success.
And focusing on what matters keeps us on good track.
The contrast will work its way in whenever it does, and learning to manage it by taking the dip then keeping an eye towards what does feel good is powerful deliberate creation.
My advice? Pay attention to what you’re measuring and whether it’s serving your vibe or not. The “How do I feel right now?” and “What would feel even better?” questions serve well. And …
If it’s a score you absolutely have to take, find a way to feel good (or at least better) about it beforehand.
When you get conscious about managing your energy, you can’t help but make good progress toward your dreams come true.