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When LOA "Doesn't Work"

In this guest post, Love & Magic Coach Cindie Chavez shares how she used law of attraction magic on a failing relationship.
Here’s Cindie:
Cindie ChavezHave you ever felt frustrated because that thing you’ve been envisioning is not happening?
Sometimes we start learning about magic, or law of attraction, or some other way of facilitating conscious creation and everything seems possible. The sky’s the limit!
Then we get down to the business of conscious creation.
We visualize, and meditate, and “act as if” and imagine what it will feel like once that thing we want manifests.
And it feeeels so good … until it doesn’t.
Until things go wrong.
For instance, take the time when I was in my terrible, horrible, no good, very bad marriage. I was a few years into learning about Law of Attraction. I was consciously creating some pretty awesome stuff.
Miracles seemed to happen on a regular basis. Wow. THIS was the life for me! Opportunities were everywhere, synchronicities were everywhen. Wow. VERY cool. I was really digging this conscious creation stuff.
Except my marriage was pretty rocky. Well, abusive actually. Painful. Stressful. No bueno.
But hey, I was working miracles with this LOA stuff, so … maybe all I needed to do was work some of this magic on my relationship.
Commence LOA on relationship program. Insert disc. [sound of metaphorical hard drive whirring] and then…
total system crash
Wait … what the %^&$#?
Did something go wrong?
Yeah, the relationship got worse and worse. Until it came apart.
Seriously. It flew apart like a model airplane flying into the side of a mountain.
So what happened? Why didn’t this LOA stuff work to fix my relationship?
Well, actually – it did work. It just didn’t create the outcome I expected.
You see, I began to get very clear on what I wanted …

  • I wanted a marriage where I was loved, respected, cherished, cared for, appreciated, adored.
  • I wanted a relationship where I was both heard and seen.
  • A relationship where deep conversations and raucous laughter were a regular occurrence.
  • I wanted a relationship where there was plenty of hot sex, warm hugs, sweet kisses and tender lovemaking.
  • I wanted a relationship full of mutual pleasure, and yeah, mutual lemonade making on the occasion when life handed out lemons.

That was what I was envisioning. THAT was where I was aligned vibrationally.
And guess what – it’s pretty obvious now that my ex was not a vibrational match to this relationship I desired. And so, pretty quickly things fell apart.
healing relationships with law of attractionIt wasn’t because LOA didn’t work. It wasn’t because my alignment was off or my vibration was wonky. Not at all. The Law of Attraction worked perfectly, just as it always does.
The clearer I got about what my ideal relationship looked like, the further away my vibration was from his vibration.
That was the magic part. The magic did work. The magic worked perfectly.
And, you’ve probably heard me say that magical activities work even better when we couple them with mundane activities that support our magic.

For example – you can meditate on the perfect job, and then it helps to also send a resume, right? You can envision a beautiful painting, but then you need to take out the paint brushes and get to work on it.

So, here’s the mundane activity part – I spent a few years studying communication techniques (including conflict resolution and even hostage negotiating!) and through all of my learning I devised a very powerful method to communicate what I wanted and needed.
I learned a few simple tools that supported my own self-knowledge and my ability to express what I desired. I learned how to set boundaries and how to ask for specific outcomes. And even though I would put this little process I’ve created in the “mundane action” category – it works like magic.
And … it works if you’re single or in a relationship, it works if you’re discussing with another person or brainstorming with yourself, it works to bring clarity about relationship stuff and clarity about your own stuff.
So I put together a little do-it-yourself workshop for you so you can learn this powerful process, too.
It’s comprised of a 2-page worksheet and a 38 minute audio where I lead you every step of the way through this simple process – and I’m making it available this month as a “pay what you want” offering. I call this workshop The Voice of Love, and once you use it I think you’ll agree that it works miracles.
Jeannette again: I’m a fan of Cindie’s work, and believe whether you tune into her Voice of Love workshop, or browse her blog, or plug in via her facebook group, that our lives are better off for having her positive influence in it.

  • November 20, 2017

Giving Up Lands Her Perfect Husband

dancing with 2016Lisa Hayes has quite a love story. If you haven’t heard it, you’re in for a treat about how she went from rock bottom to over-the-moon happy with her new guy …

Ten years ago I spent my last Valentine’s Day single and it was a whopper.

I’d gone through a horrible breakup a few weeks before. We are talking about a record-breaking bad breakup.

I wasn’t heartbroken. I was emotionally bankrupt.

I had hit what I would categorize as an emotional rock bottom. I got there by making a too many bad decisions for too long. I was a mess.

On that particular Valentine’s Day I was in no mood for romance and I was jonesing for it like an addict all at the same time.

Fortunately for me, my best friend from high school was also post-breakup and didn’t have anyone on her dance card for V-day that year either.

So when she visited we got ourselves a bottle of wine and a notebook and went to work on “the list” to create our next relationships.

You know the list. It’s the list of qualities you’re looking for in a match.

Almost every woman I know has made that list.

I’d made it at least a dozen times before. Obviously, it hadn’t worked – at all.

I’ll fast forward six weeks from that Valentine’s afternoon when we made our lists. I met the love of my life.

He was such an exact match to that list that I recognized him immediately. We fell in love at first sight. We’ve been together every day, ever since.

So why did it work when I was at my most pathetic after my worst breakup when it hadn’t worked before?

I’ll tell you why and you probably won’t believe it because it goes against everything you’ve ever learned about how to attract anything.

It worked because I’d given up.

I didn’t think it would work. I’d done it before with train wreck results. I had no reason to believe doing it again would be any different.

I did it for fun to pass the time. Nothing more, nothing less.

I had a bottle of wine with a friend. We laughed and had a blast. I was just tipsy enough to be totally honest with that list about what I really wanted. I had zero attachment to it because I didn’t really believe it was within reach.

I got crystal clear about what I wanted that day and felt exactly zero angst about getting it because I had surrendered to the idea that I’d be single forever.

Sometimes it takes completely letting go to let the magic happen.

A smarter person than I was would let go before hitting rock bottom. However, even if you feel like you’re cruising for rock bottom you can still take heart. There is a lot of freedom in giving up and miracles happen when you least expect them.

Lisa Hayes, Love Whisperer

This Valentine’s Day I am wishing you lots of love, miracles you don’t expect, and some wishes you’ve long since given up on. It’s easy for me to see all of that happening for you. If I can get to happily-ever-after from rock bottom anything is possible.

Lisa Hayes is the Love Whisperer who helps clients leverage Law of Attraction to get the relationships they dream about and build the lives they want. Find her online at LisaMHayes.com

  • February 13, 2017

To Hookup or Not To Hookup …

Manifesting Hookups and RelationshipsWhen you’re manifesting a new love relationship, how do you handle hookups … yay or nay?
Does a casual connection mess with the alignment to a committed relationship, or does it have no effect at all?
Or might it even help in manifesting the love we want?
That’s the question from a fellow creator.
I’ve got thoughts, but this one felt worthy of running it by you all.
Here’s the question word for word:

What your thoughts were on hookups if you’re also looking for a relationship? Not necessarily with the person you’re hooking up with … but can you attract a great guy and have a little fun with someone else along the way?

Good question, right?!
What say you, wise ones? I’d especially love to hear from those with personal experience.
Thanks in advance for sharing your expertise!

  • November 25, 2016

How To Move On

How to Move On After BreakupFellow creators, I’m tapping your expertise to answer a big question from a kind soul about moving on after a breakup …
If you’ve ever sorted out how to feel better after a heartbreaking loss, I want to hear from you.
While I have a few ideas about what can help, this is one of those questions better addressed by the community rather than just me.
Here’s the question I’d love your help in answering:

Do you happen to have ideas for how to move on? From a breakup when you still love the person?
How do you get in a happy place now and not feel lonely?

If you’ve got tips or wisdom to share, please kindly post. Many thanks!

  • October 11, 2016

Talk Your Way Into Love

Speak Your Way Into LoveLots of folks who want love in their life don’t realize they block it by the way they talk about it.
They say things, to themselves and others, that reinforces the very reality they don’t want.

  • “I’m so tired of going to events alone.”
  • “All the good ones are taken.”
  • “It’s so hard to find new love.”
  • “I’ve been alone for so long.”

The average person doesn’t realize that as they speak, so shall it be.
Fortunately, you’re not average.
(Anyone reading law of attraction material is already way ahead of the consciousness curve!)
We know that the way to welcome new love into our lives is to get ahead of it.
That means to speak, think, feel and behave the way we would when we’re experiencing that love.
That’s how we vibrate love (or whatever want) into our lives.
And it might not feel like the most natural or intuitive thing to do …

It can feel strange to appreciate something that isn’t here yet.

It might seem a little crazy to talk to our lover before we’ve met them.

It can be awkward to practice love before love has arrived.

But that’s how we grease the wheels for it.
That’s how we cue Universe to send in the next love.
So if you’re in the mood to call in a new relationship, pay attention to the sorts of things you hear yourself saying about the state of your romance.
Instead of perpetuating your current reality, you can usher in a new one by speaking it so.
That could sound like having a conversation with your lover as if he/she were already in the room with you:

  • Ask what he’s been up to today.
  • Tell her how much you like your new socks.
  • Suggest something for dinner.

If you’ve been in the routine of feeling like you’re rolling solo through life, those conversations can be a big vibrational switch.
Instead of instructing Universe that you’re alone, you send the signal that a loved one is right there with you.
You may find it easier to engage less reality-confronting thoughts like, “I’m ready for love” or “Looking forward to my next relationship.”
I’ve also heard many success stories from creators who wrote letters to their love as if they were already connected. (That’s a big vibrational difference than traditional journaling about longing for a new love.)
Those of you who have super cool friends can even talk about your new partner with those who get what you’re up to. Together you’re scripting your relationship into existence!
But even if you don’t feel comfortable talking about your lover as if they’re already present and accounted for, at least stop holding him/her at bay by speaking them away.
Because when you say, “I’m so tired of being alone,” Universe has to make it so.
And when you say, “Honey, I’m home!” Universe has to make that so, too.
It will make real whatever you’re willing to speak into being.

Remember Mike Dooley declaring “It’s a good thing I’m rich!” when he got a big bill in the mail he didn’t know how to pay?
Conscious creators are willing to say what isn’t “real” yet in order to make it so.

This means you can talk your way right into your next true love by engaging your creative powers to speak it so.
This isn’t the only way to become a match for a fabulous new relationship, but it is a powerful one.
You’re already speaking your reality into existence, so let’s make sure it’s the one you want.
If you’ve got success stories along these lines, we’d love to hear them!

  • September 19, 2016

How To Manifest for Others

How To Manifest For OthersIt’s a common question among conscious creators: how to manifest for others?
Whether it’s a child you’d like to see heal; a spouse you want to help get the new job; or a friend you’d love to support in finding a relationship – many creators wonder how to put their manifesting powers to work on behalf of a loved one.
We’ve covered this before, but the question keeps coming, so let’s cover it again.
First, it’s worth remembering that we can’t create on someone else’s behalf. Everyone has free will and runs their own vibration. They can’t experience what they aren’t vibrationally aligned to.
So you’re not in charge of them.
If they are strongly committed to their struggle, all your best intentions can go the wayside.
Also, we don’t know what’s best for someone else. Not really.
It might seem obvious what would be good for them, but things could look very differently from Source perspective.
So it’s worth not getting attached to details. (Maybe there’s a better job, or a different calling, or a better lover in store. We don’t really know.)
Just sayin’ it’s worth not getting too hung up on particular details, and instead doing some high level focusing. (As in “happy,” “thriving,” “fulfilled.”) Let Universe fill in the details.
Third, you’re probably already doing it.
You probably already are co-creating a loved one’s reality with them.
Because you likely already vision things for them …
You imagine them struggling or succeeding; you think of them as happy or discontent; you talk about them as doing well or having a hard time.
So your creative powers are likely already at work.
Here’s how to ensure we’re working in highest service of our loved ones:
Mind your own business first. Abe says the greatest gift we can give another is our own happiness, and that we can’t be of any real service to another if we’re kinked our own selves. So you best affix that oxygen mask to your own self before you try helping another.
If you’re confident you’ve got the vibrational goods to share, then it’s a simple matter of engaging the highest vision of your loved one’s success.
You could either conjure this vision daily, or just whenever you find yourself thinking about them. See them thriving, imagine their smile and satisfaction, hear their laughter and practice knowing how well everything worked out for them.
Or as Abe puts it, connect with the “vortex version” of your loved one.
You could do that through visualizing, scripting, affirming, journaling, acting as if, or however you like to activate the vibration.
By doing so you create a vibrational foundation that they can join you in, or not. It’s ultimately up to them.

And if you can’t think about them without worrying or fretting, then you’re better off not thinking on them at all.
Because if you perceive them as in trouble, or struggling, or screwing things up, you’re not helping. That perception co-creates their challenges, so lay off if they’ve got their hands full already.
(Again, tend to your own vibe first before you go trying to straighten out someone else’s.)

Also, please make sure your own happiness isn’t dependent on what’s going on with them. It’s the mark of a master manifestor to maintain your own feel-good even when others around you aren’t.
Which just means you aren’t doing them any favors if you join them in upset, discouragement, fear, etc.
Hold the good ground, even if you have to ignore their plight to do it.
Because sometimes it’s just too hard to watch a loved one’s suffering and still be able to imagine their successful turnaround.
Does this stuff work? Absolutely.
I know from experience and from many fellow creators’ stories that magic can happen when you use your focusing powers this way.
I’ve seen countless successes from fellow creators when they engaged this work, including:

  • visioning a spouse or child into a new job
  • intending a physical healing by imagining their thriving health
  • willing courage, strength and/or wisdom to a friend for making a bold move
  • easing feelings of another’s depression by thinking of them as lighter and happier
  • helping to close an important real estate purchase by knowing it as done

The list could on forever …
This is what savvy LOA coaches do for their clients – see them thriving and successful instead of struggling or failing.
My own witchy bff recently intervened on my vibrational behalf by seeing my success where I doubted it; and by pouring buckets of love on a problematic person. (She knew I wasn’t tapping the love, so she did it for me.)
With miraculous results.
Not every time for every person. But often enough to know this power is real.
So use yours wisely.
Because like I said, you’re probably already doing it. 🙂

  • August 20, 2016

How We Create Them To Be

How We Create Them To BeThis might sound like it contradicts the voodoo I don’t do, but I don’t think it does and it’s important to cover anyway.
Because lots of times we hold up our own happiness based on how we create another to be.
That’s what they called it at Landmark Forum to describe how our focus influences the way others to show up for us.
In fact, it was at Landmark that I saw powerful example of this influence …
There was a participant who shared that he called his girlfriend to ask her an important question and she said no, much as he unfortunately expected her to. The instructor said that’s because he called the girlfriend he expected would say no. “Now go call the girlfriend who can say yes.”
The guy came back five minutes later with tears in his eyes saying his girlfriend said yes to the exact same question she’d just said no to minutes before.
That got our attention about how people show up however we create them to.

It’s what happened to me when years ago I felt myself bracing for trouble as I realized Russ would soon be home to discover I had new foster kitties in the house. (He had made it abundantly clear he was not a fan of my foster activities.)
On this particular occasion when I noticed myself tensing with anticipation of his anger, I realized as I expected him to be angry, I was creating him that way.
I used that awareness to engage that little Landmark trick to create him differently.
Instead of thinking of him as being upset because I have kittens again, I imagined him being happy to see me doing what I loved, and supportive of the activity that mattered so much to me. Even if he couldn’t love kittens, he could love that I was doing what made me happy.
That’s all it was – just a couple little new thoughts and a better feeling to go with it.
The guy that arrived home two hours later was not my usual boyfriend. Instead of flashing an angry look after discovering kittens, slamming the door and giving me the cold shoulder for two days, this guy was delighted to see kittens. He got down on hands and knees to play with them on the floor. Asked me what I named them. Wearing a happy smile the whole time. I was dumbstruck.

At first I assumed he must have been abducted by aliens on the way home, and I was dealing with some sort of walk-in. But then I realized it’s just that I used my power differently – of how I created him to be.
We gotta watch where we point that thing! Crazy powerful!
It happened again last week when my coach diagnosed me as stuck in a story about what an asshole my ex is, and gave me homework of writing out a version of the story where he was the hero instead of the ass. A different story every day for seven days straight, where I cast him as the good guy instead of the bad guy.
Look, I know how this stuff works, I’ve played with it plenty of times, but for real – he’s got the jerk gene fully activated. A couple of scripts about him being a nice guy aren’t going to change things.
But she’s my coach, so I did it.
Halfheartedly. Just so I could say I did.
By the second day, he pulled a move that only nice guys pull. (“Holy sh*t, this is magic!” I reported in the forum.)
On the third day, he sent an email proposing happy resolution of an issue that had been a point of contention for us for well over two years. A hundred thousand dollar issue, to be exact. (Not the easiest one to ignore.)
I’d been telling the version about what an ass he is for so long that it was next to impossible for him to be anything but that (for me). Just even a halfhearted attempt at a new version gave him a chance to show up differently.
So it isn’t so much that he was a jerk, as it was that I was a pro at vibrating him to be a jerk.
I’ve learned this story many times, and yet the lessons continue.
It all makes perfect sense when we remember that the world just reflects/matches our own vibrations.
Here’s what Abe has to say about it:

… Source is looking through your eyes and has an opinion of everything that sometimes you’re in alignment with and sometimes not. And sometimes there is something about a person that causes you to focus yourself out of alignment so that you can’t see them as they really are. Because you (the hotseater) made it sound like something they were doing, and we want you to understand that it is ALWAYS something you are doing.

Some want to argue with that because some people just get in your face and they are just annoying, and it’s hard to believe that you are the reason for that.

As you practice and practice and practice and practice the frequency of what you want, you’ll see how LOA will sort out who comes near you and will also sort out what they say when they get there.

Everyone has many probabilities of what they may be inspired to and you have more control over what they are inspired to than you have ever even begun to realize. Abraham-Hicks, Cancun, 2013

Are you making your boss out to be a jerk? Your neighbor to be troublesome? Fellow drivers to be idiots? Politicians to be unreliable?
Or are you making them out to be lovely, generous, competent, and pleasant?
I’m intending this story helps you become more aware of how you’re creating others to be, and making edits where you see fit.
Wherever you see room for improvement, give yourself – and others – the gift of a new story. Lord knows I will be! 🙂

  • February 15, 2016

I Slept With Him Every Night

Manifesting a New RelationshipThat’s how she manifested the new love of a lifetime …
She went to sleep with him every night.
Before she knew his name. Before they’d even met.
She went to sleep with him every night.
She felt his arms wrapped lovingly around her as she drifted off to sleep. (Using a body pillow to help trick herself into the comforts of the cuddle.)
She actually had another guy in mind. A specific guy she thought would be a great candidate for love. He turned out to be a great stand-in to activate those feelings of love.
But because she knew not to be attached to anyone in particular, she put her intention out for “him or someone better.”
This was summertime that she started sleeping with her imaginary boyfriend. And doing some cleanup in the love department. (Tying up loose ends and upgrading beliefs, I gathered.)
By July she’d nixed the idea of online dating (didn’t appeal to her), but she did receive an inspiration to go speed dating in August. Just for fun.
That’s where she met a dozen different men, one of whom she felt an instant connection with.
And she’s been having fun with him ever since. (“Even better” than she ever dreamed a relationship could be, she reports!)
All from being willing to feel him (emotionally, vibrationally) before he was real. From being willing to release thoughts of the guy she thought it should be, and from being willing to take inspired action just for fun.
That’s manifesting at its finest.
If you’ve used this process yourself and have tips to share, please do so in the comments! 🙂

  • February 1, 2016
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