Category Archives for "LOA in Love & Relationships"

How To Manifest for Others

It’s a common question among conscious creators: how to manifest for others?

Whether it’s a child you’d like to see heal; a spouse you want to help get the new job; or a friend you’d love to support in finding a relationship – many creators wonder how to put their manifesting powers to work on behalf of a loved one.

We’ve covered this before, but the question keeps coming, so let’s cover it again.

First, it’s worth remembering that we can’t create on someone else’s behalf. Everyone has free will and runs their own vibration. They can’t experience what they aren’t vibrationally aligned to.

So you’re not in charge of them.

If they are strongly committed to their struggle, all your best intentions can go the wayside.

Also, we don’t know what’s best for someone else. Not really.

It might seem obvious what would be good for them, but things could look very differently from Source perspective.

So it’s worth not getting attached to details. (Maybe there’s a better job, or a different calling, or a better lover in store. We don’t really know.)

Just sayin’ it’s worth not getting too hung up on particular details, and instead doing some high level focusing. (As in “happy,” “thriving,” “fulfilled.”) Let Universe fill in the details.

Third, you’re probably already doing it.

You probably already are co-creating a loved one’s reality with them.

Because you likely already vision things for them …

You imagine them struggling or succeeding; you think of them as happy or discontent; you talk about them as doing well or having a hard time.

So your creative powers are likely already at work.

Here’s how to ensure we’re working in highest service of our loved ones:

Mind your own business first. Abe says the greatest gift we can give another is our own happiness, and that we can’t be of any real service to another if we’re kinked our own selves. So you best affix that oxygen mask to your own self before you try helping another.

If you’re confident you’ve got the vibrational goods to share, then it’s a simple matter of engaging the highest vision of your loved one’s success.

You could either conjure this vision daily, or just whenever you find yourself thinking about them. See them thriving, imagine their smile and satisfaction, hear their laughter and practice knowing how well everything worked out for them.

Or as Abe puts it, connect with the “vortex version” of your loved one.

You could do that through visualizing, scripting, affirming, journaling, acting as if, or however you like to activate the vibration.

By doing so you create a vibrational foundation that they can join you in, or not. It’s ultimately up to them.

And if you can’t think about them without worrying or fretting, then you’re better off not thinking on them at all.
Because if you perceive them as in trouble, or struggling, or screwing things up, you’re not helping. That perception co-creates their challenges, so lay off if they’ve got their hands full already.

(Again, tend to your own vibe first before you go trying to straighten out someone else’s.)

Also, please make sure your own happiness isn’t dependent on what’s going on with them. It’s the mark of a master manifestor to maintain your own feel-good even when others around you aren’t.

Which just means you aren’t doing them any favors if you join them in upset, discouragement, fear, etc.

Hold the good ground, even if you have to ignore their plight to do it.

Because sometimes it’s just too hard to watch a loved one’s suffering and still be able to imagine their successful turnaround.

Does this stuff work? Absolutely.

I know from experience and from many fellow creators’ stories that magic can happen when you use your focusing powers this way.

I’ve seen countless successes from fellow creators when they engaged this work, including:

  • visioning a spouse or child into a new job
  • intending a physical healing by imagining their thriving health
  • willing courage, strength and/or wisdom to a friend for making a bold move
  • easing feelings of another’s depression by thinking of them as lighter and happier
  • helping to close an important real estate purchase by knowing it as done

The list could on forever …

This is what savvy LOA coaches do for their clients – see them thriving and successful instead of struggling or failing.

My own witchy bff recently intervened on my vibrational behalf by seeing my success where I doubted it; and by pouring buckets of love on a problematic person. (She knew I wasn’t tapping the love, so she did it for me.)

With miraculous results.

Not every time for every person. But often enough to know this power is real.

So use yours wisely.

Because like I said, you’re probably already doing it. 🙂

  • August 20, 2016

How We Create Them To Be

How We Create Them To BeThis might sound like it contradicts the voodoo I don’t do, but I don’t think it does and it’s important to cover anyway.
Because lots of times we hold up our own happiness based on how we create another to be.
That’s what they called it at Landmark Forum to describe how our focus influences the way others to show up for us.
In fact, it was at Landmark that I saw powerful example of this influence …
There was a participant who shared that he called his girlfriend to ask her an important question and she said no, much as he unfortunately expected her to. The instructor said that’s because he called the girlfriend he expected would say no. “Now go call the girlfriend who can say yes.”
The guy came back five minutes later with tears in his eyes saying his girlfriend said yes to the exact same question she’d just said no to minutes before.
That got our attention about how people show up however we create them to.

It’s what happened to me when years ago I felt myself bracing for trouble as I realized Russ would soon be home to discover I had new foster kitties in the house. (He had made it abundantly clear he was not a fan of my foster activities.)
On this particular occasion when I noticed myself tensing with anticipation of his anger, I realized as I expected him to be angry, I was creating him that way.
I used that awareness to engage that little Landmark trick to create him differently.
Instead of thinking of him as being upset because I have kittens again, I imagined him being happy to see me doing what I loved, and supportive of the activity that mattered so much to me. Even if he couldn’t love kittens, he could love that I was doing what made me happy.
That’s all it was – just a couple little new thoughts and a better feeling to go with it.
The guy that arrived home two hours later was not my usual boyfriend. Instead of flashing an angry look after discovering kittens, slamming the door and giving me the cold shoulder for two days, this guy was delighted to see kittens. He got down on hands and knees to play with them on the floor. Asked me what I named them. Wearing a happy smile the whole time. I was dumbstruck.

At first I assumed he must have been abducted by aliens on the way home, and I was dealing with some sort of walk-in. But then I realized it’s just that I used my power differently – of how I created him to be.
We gotta watch where we point that thing! Crazy powerful!
It happened again last week when my coach diagnosed me as stuck in a story about what an asshole my ex is, and gave me homework of writing out a version of the story where he was the hero instead of the ass. A different story every day for seven days straight, where I cast him as the good guy instead of the bad guy.
Look, I know how this stuff works, I’ve played with it plenty of times, but for real – he’s got the jerk gene fully activated. A couple of scripts about him being a nice guy aren’t going to change things.
But she’s my coach, so I did it.
Halfheartedly. Just so I could say I did.
By the second day, he pulled a move that only nice guys pull. (“Holy sh*t, this is magic!” I reported in the forum.)
On the third day, he sent an email proposing happy resolution of an issue that had been a point of contention for us for well over two years. A hundred thousand dollar issue, to be exact. (Not the easiest one to ignore.)
I’d been telling the version about what an ass he is for so long that it was next to impossible for him to be anything but that (for me). Just even a halfhearted attempt at a new version gave him a chance to show up differently.
So it isn’t so much that he was a jerk, as it was that I was a pro at vibrating him to be a jerk.
I’ve learned this story many times, and yet the lessons continue.
It all makes perfect sense when we remember that the world just reflects/matches our own vibrations.
Here’s what Abe has to say about it:

… Source is looking through your eyes and has an opinion of everything that sometimes you’re in alignment with and sometimes not. And sometimes there is something about a person that causes you to focus yourself out of alignment so that you can’t see them as they really are. Because you (the hotseater) made it sound like something they were doing, and we want you to understand that it is ALWAYS something you are doing.

Some want to argue with that because some people just get in your face and they are just annoying, and it’s hard to believe that you are the reason for that.

As you practice and practice and practice and practice the frequency of what you want, you’ll see how LOA will sort out who comes near you and will also sort out what they say when they get there.

Everyone has many probabilities of what they may be inspired to and you have more control over what they are inspired to than you have ever even begun to realize. Abraham-Hicks, Cancun, 2013

Are you making your boss out to be a jerk? Your neighbor to be troublesome? Fellow drivers to be idiots? Politicians to be unreliable?
Or are you making them out to be lovely, generous, competent, and pleasant?
I’m intending this story helps you become more aware of how you’re creating others to be, and making edits where you see fit.
Wherever you see room for improvement, give yourself – and others – the gift of a new story. Lord knows I will be! 🙂

  • February 15, 2016

I Slept With Him Every Night

Manifesting a New RelationshipThat’s how she manifested the new love of a lifetime …
She went to sleep with him every night.
Before she knew his name. Before they’d even met.
She went to sleep with him every night.
She felt his arms wrapped lovingly around her as she drifted off to sleep. (Using a body pillow to help trick herself into the comforts of the cuddle.)
She actually had another guy in mind. A specific guy she thought would be a great candidate for love. He turned out to be a great stand-in to activate those feelings of love.
But because she knew not to be attached to anyone in particular, she put her intention out for “him or someone better.”
This was summertime that she started sleeping with her imaginary boyfriend. And doing some cleanup in the love department. (Tying up loose ends and upgrading beliefs, I gathered.)
By July she’d nixed the idea of online dating (didn’t appeal to her), but she did receive an inspiration to go speed dating in August. Just for fun.
That’s where she met a dozen different men, one of whom she felt an instant connection with.
And she’s been having fun with him ever since. (“Even better” than she ever dreamed a relationship could be, she reports!)
All from being willing to feel him (emotionally, vibrationally) before he was real. From being willing to release thoughts of the guy she thought it should be, and from being willing to take inspired action just for fun.
That’s manifesting at its finest.
If you’ve used this process yourself and have tips to share, please do so in the comments! 🙂

  • February 1, 2016

The Voodoo I Don't Do

I don't do voodooI’ve posted before about why I believe it’s ill-advised to attempt to manifest a specific person into your love life.
Maybe it’s because I have resistance to those requests that they continue to roll in.
So this post is written for those who think I am withholding secrets of attraction that are keeping them from the love they crave …
For the record, I believe your best practice for manifesting love is to focus on how you want to feel and let the powers that be deliver whoever best matches that vibe.
Universe knows better than you do.
Find a love vibe and let Universe do its job. Stop limiting your results by attaching to a specific somebody.

Instead of thinking there’s only one special someone who will ever make you feel complete …

Instead of believing you’ll never be happy until that One has declared their love and is in your arms …

Instead of limiting Universal power in delivering your True Love –

Instead, open to the possibility that there might be someone even better.
(I, in fact, am pretty sure there is.)
Plus, there’s something super magical when you stop clinging to the one you’ve got your sights set on and instead consider love may be more easily found elsewhere. (Like within, for starters.)
Very often releasing your attachment to that specific someone is the very thing that allows the one you were pursuing vibrationally to turn around and give you a good look-see. (Wrote about that, too.)
But maybe, just maybe, there is someone even better waiting for you to stop chasing the love that isn’t yours.
Regardless, I am not your girl for helping you manifest a specific someone into your arms. Would you want me helping somone you weren’t interested in get you into his bed? I didn’t think so. That’s the voodoo I don’t do.

  • January 17, 2016

How to Manifest a Keeper

manifest lasting love and romanceThis post is by request after Mia asked how I manifested the guy who felt like “home sweet home” the first time I laid eyes on him.
I’ve probably shared this story somewhere else, but I like it so much I thought it worth retelling. 🙂
It’s 2006 and I’ve been actively dating a bunch of fabulous men for about a year or two. I’ve had an absolute blast with amazing guys, but the whole “rotation,” we’ll call it, is starting to lose its luster.
I’m (finally) in the mood for a keeper.
Someone I can put some time in with. To get to know someone in a way that you don’t during 3 month stints. I want a relationship that’s got legs.
My name for him is “One of the Ones.” (Because I don’t believe in just One.)
But I’m ready for someone Significant. Someone to go the distance with.
So I decide to manifest One of the Ones. My attitude about it was, “Bring him on, Universe, I’m ready for a keeper!”
That wasn’t out of frustration with dating, or being treated poorly by men. I was having a great time. I was just ready for something else.
(I think that vibrational setup matters.)
I had loved being single and loved meeting new guys. But now I just wanted to love a new guy for a longer while.
After deciding this (not wanting it, not wishing for it, but deciding it), the next thing I did was make a list. The ubiquitous manifesting list.
Mine’s got 47 things on it, including that he’s a dog lover and drives a truck. (I’m thinking a down to earth kind of guy who loves animals.)
I wrote the list once and mostly forgot about it. (I might have read it once or twice after for fun, but it certainly wasn’t a regular practice.)
Due to what I knew about vibration and attraction, I strongly suspected I would meet this guy doing something that I loved. Right? Love your life, and life gets even better.
So I suspected I would meet my new guy while doing something with my dogs. Probably a dog walk up the canyon. But maybe Petsmart, maybe at the dog park. Maybe at a volunteer event. But probably up that favorite canyon of mine.
On every walk I had an eagle eye out for cutie patootie guys with no rings. “Oh, maybe that’s him!” I would think when I turned the corner to see another handsome stranger smiling at me. (I was probably throwing off some strange energy.)
Other than those dog walks where I knew I was eventually going to meet him, I’m enjoying other parts of my life as if he were already here

  • I grocery shop like I’m picking up things for me and my cool new boyfriend.
  • I sit in the movie theater like my date’s just out standing in the popcorn line.
  • I talk to girlfriends as if it’s already a done deal. I giggle like someone already in love, but really I’m just anticipating the delights of a new love. They aren’t sure what to make of me.

So basically I’ve got a couple of LOA elements in play:
I know he’s coming (because I said so). I’m expecting to meet him on a dog walk someday (no hurry, no time pressure). I’m enjoying myself in the meantime and also acting as if he’s already here (in certain moments where it works to do that).
In the meantime, back at the ranch, I am done with dating and have no interest in reactivating my online dating profile. Great entertainment, but no keepers. That was my assessment.
Here’s where Universe started to surprise me …
One day I’m on the computer and an ad gets my attention for eharmony. Never did eharmony; have no intention of starting now.
Except inspiration is crawling all over this thing.
Like, I can’t ignore it. I feel something pulling me to check out this eharmony thing.
Seriously, eharmony?! Sheesh. I don’t know what Universe is thinking – I’m meeting my guy at a dog park. But I know not to ignore inspiration, even when it makes no sense.
So fine. I put up a profile. Just to satisfy that guidance that said to.
And sure enough, it was such a bad idea that I asked eharmony for a refund when they only returned three matches. One of which was already hooked up and hadn’t taken himself off the site yet. They apologized for not having more matches and refunded my fee.
There was one match, though, who requested a fast track so we could exchange messages. I didn’t know the whole fast track routine, but I said yes and we exchanged a few notes. Nice enough guy. Kind of funny. Attentive, but respectful. I wasn’t having a bad time.
Until he shared his must-haves and can’t-stands. (I think it’s called something different now.)
His must-haves included something like “fashionable” or “stylish” and “financially responsible.”
Okay, stylish is the last thing anyone is ever going to call me. And the last time I balanced my checkbook was after mysterious untraceable money kept showing up in my account. I figured it was my easy money intention coming to fruition, and stopped tracking that balance. So if he’s looking for someone with her nails done and her bank balance accounted for, I’m not her.
I tell him it looks like we’re not a match and I shut down my profile.
Eharmony delivers his impassioned plea for me to reconsider. He thinks we have potential. He thinks there’s something worth exploring.
Something in me has a yes for this, although I really don’t want him to get in the way of the guy I’m meeting on my dog walk.
Okay, fine, I say, we can meet up in person.
Soon after I’m driving to meet him for a movie date.
As soon as I saw him, I felt like I’d come home. It felt like I’d been on vacation all my life and I was finally coming home sweet home.
He just felt so right.
It wasn’t that he was the most handsome guy I’d ever seen. It wasn’t that he was so charming and witty that he swept me off my feet instantly. It wasn’t that I was dazzled by his wealth and success in life.
I just knew this was where I was meant to be.
Bizarre, right? I’d never experienced anything like that with a guy before.
He didn’t have a dog and he didn’t drive a truck. But as we got to know each other I learned he was 43 of the 47 things I’d put on that list.
I had a girlfriend once who told me about how the first time she saw her husband, she knew they’d be married. He was just a guy in a bar, and she came to work the next day knowing they would marry. (They did! And they’re married to this day!) I didn’t understand how anything could work like that.
But I do now.
The time from deciding to call in One of the Ones to meeting my guy online was three weeks. That was nine years ago, he reminded me the other day when he said happy anniversary. 🙂
To recap this manifesting process:

  1. I believed he existed (lots of people have given up hope or think all the good ones are taken).
  2. I claimed it by deciding to manifest it.
  3. I got clear and focused using a list.
  4. I enjoyed myself in the meantime (not sitting on pins and needles waiting for him to show).
  5. I activated the vibration by acting as if (on occasion, not constantly).
  6. And I honored inspiration (even when it didn’t make sense).

What wasn’t part of it was looking for him on the dog walks. Go figure.

  • July 27, 2015