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The Tweak That Makes the Difference

Have you ever tried to manifest something new because you didn’t like what you had?

Like trying to conjure a new job because you’re miserable at your current one; or creating weight loss because you don’t like how you look; or manifesting money because you’re tired of going without?

If so, you probably know that’s not the best setup for success.

In fact, sometimes that approach can stymie the whole process (or even make things worse).

Engaging our creative powers is much more effective when driven by love for the new thing rather than frustration with the old.

But, you might be thinking, doesn’t everything start with what we don’t want? That’s where new desires come from.

Abe teaches that experiencing something we don’t like is where the whole party starts.

The key being where it starts.

Not where it stays.

At least, not for best results.

As long as we hang on to what we aren’t loving, even if it’s just through focus or awareness of it, our efforts to arrive at something better are handicapped.

Might sound nitpicky, but you can be sure this distinction matters to the field or the universe, whatever you want to call the powers that be responding to our vibrational instructions.

That’s why it’s worth asking what’s fueling your current manifesting process

  • Are you running away from something you don’t want, or skipping toward what you do?
  • Are you mostly tuned into what you’re looking forward to next, or still dialed on what frustrated you originally?
  • Are you more clear about the delicious thing coming, or super aware of the unpleasant details of what you’d like to get rid of?

It’s easy to fool ourselves about where we’re dialed in. In fact, it’s happened to me on more than one occasion.

Like that time I worked a job that became so detestable I wanted to manifest a better employment gig. Not because I wanted another job (what I really wanted was to be a coach), but because I needed to leave this company pronto. I didn’t want to be there for another single payday.

I manifested another job that seemed great at first but in short order became as unpleasant (albeit for different reasons) as the one I left.

Eventually the pull to coaching became strong enough (and I worked on believing in it enough) that I was able to create a highly satisfying new livelihood.

When I was driven by “I hate this job” I didn’t nearly as good results as when fueled with “Wouldn’t it be cool to be a coach?!”

Big vibrational difference.

If you’re wondering whether this is happening in your present manifesting process, the way you’re feeling is your first clue. If you’re frustrated instead of hopeful, or resentful instead of excited, or anxious instead of optimistic, that’s a sign your focus is on the “don’t want” instead of the “do want.”

The second clue is the results you’re getting (or not getting). If progress seems slow, or results turn out to be wonky, it might be worth evaluating your approach.

Here’s the remedy if you think this might be up for you:

Make some peace with where you’re at. (Maybe even turn on some appreciation if you’ve got the vibrational chops for that.)

Remind yourself why you want the thing you’re moving toward, and make sure it’s focused on the desire rather than the unwanted.

For example, if you say, “I want to be in a happy relationship because I’m tired of being single” – that’s no bueno.

The more effective perspective is something like, “I am looking forward to a happy relationship because there are so many aspects of life I enjoy that I would love to share with another person.” Or something like that.

It’s a small tweak but makes all the difference when we manifest out of love rather than resistance.

  • July 21, 2018

What Does Your Word Mean?

Once upon a time in middle school I made plans with my long time friend Jenny to go trick or treating together on Halloween.

But instead of meeting up with her, I went out with my new friend Cassie, without letting Jenny know or inviting her along. Not cool.

Dad let me know when I got home what a bad move that was. (Jenny’s mom had called looking for me on her daughter’s behalf, so he knew what was up.)

He admonished that when you give your word, you stick to it. When you say you’re going to do something, you do it.

Message received.

In Landmark Forum they make a point of driving that lesson home, too …

On day one our leader got everyone to agree to be in their seat and ready to go on time for the rest of the workshop. He even got us to agree to help each other be present and attentive on time. When there were loiterers still chatting in the lobby after first break was over, and when he asked why we didn’t help our classmates get in their seats on time, we all got the lecture about breaking our word.

It could seem like overkill and making a big deal about nothing (“I was 30 seconds late – chill out, buddy”), but the point – made by my dad and our forum leader – is that keeping your word is a big deal.

Do what you say you’re going to do.

Conscious creators know better than most the importance of keeping our word, since our “word is our wand,” as my bff Florence Scovel-Shinn says.

If we don’t treat our word as meaningful, how can we expect Universe to?

If we haven’t learned that our word has power (and to take that power seriously), how can we expect to experience its power in our manifesting?

When what you say doesn’t mean much, you train yourself not to believe what you say.

So when you declare, “I am a money magnet!” it’s easy to doubt because you’re in the habit of throwing your word around loosely. You’ve said other things that you didn’t take seriously. (“Sure, let’s do lunch soon!”; “No, I don’t mind at all.”) This is just another one for the list.

And vice versa – when you keep your word because that’s what you do, then you learn that your word means something. It has power and impact. Your word can be relied on. It’s happening, because you said so.

Okay, so that’s the backstory for what I wanted to share today …

This morning as I was reading Charles Duhigg on the importance of focus and how those with strong mental models succeed more often than those without, it inspired me to tune in again to what I’m creating in life.

(Duhigg’s right, I figured. Holding a strong mental model of what you want is the key to getting there. I don’t suspect he’s a studied conscious creator but he sure sounds like one in this chapter.)

So for good measure, I tuned in again to what I’m creating. Big beautiful brave things.

And as my gremlin tried to chime in with a thought along the lines of, “Who do you think you are (to think you could create such big things)?” that gremlin got dismissed so fast it wasn’t funny. That critical voice didn’t get a foothold because I automatically and immediately knew: it’s happening because I said so.

That’s what happens when I give my word.

It’s happening.

And I have been giving my word to this big dream! I have been speaking it for long enough that it feels natural, so it’s got some power invested in it!

I know that once I say so, it’s a done deal. There’s no backing out. There’s no waffling. It’s happening, because I said so. As drilled into me by my no-messing-around Marine Corps dad and that super strict Forum leader.

  • That’s why in my 20s divorce wasn’t an option for me. I gave my word to be married and I would hold up my end. (Fortunately for us both, my husband didn’t feel the same commitment!)
  • That’s why when I write an appointment on my calendar, I don’t change them. I have whiteout in the drawer for clients who request changes, but it is very rarely me who requests a reschedule.
  • That’s why when a friend asks casually as we part ways, “Talk to you tomorrow?” I think before just automatically answering, “Sure.” Am I going to talk to him tomorrow? Maybe, maybe not. So that’s what I say: “Maybe, maybe not.” Because if I said yes, then that’s a commitment I hold myself to.

For those who get frustrated because it’s hard to get a commitment from me, I’m not hard to pin down because I’m a Libra who changes her mind on a dime. (Okay, maybe that, too. Mostly I’m difficult to pin down because once I say I’m doing it, it’s a done deal. And I just want to make sure I want it before I say it.

Meaning, I have been trained to make my word meaningful.

And here’s the cool part …

Treating my word like it means something translates really well to my conscious creation practice.

It’s why when I put something in writing, whether it’s an affirmation or a pray rain journal entry or a calendar appointment or a signature on a marriage license, that thing is happening.

Now I sound like the one making small things a big deal, but it’s why I’m reliable at creating what I speak and write and think. My word means something.

I realize as I write this post that I have room for improvement on this habit. I’m not perfect, and maybe it’s good enough as is. But this really isn’t intended to be about me …

I share this so you can be more aware of how you’re using your word and what you’re speaking into reality.

Here’s to using our word with integrity so our manifesting practices have strength, too. 🙂

  • July 15, 2018

It’s Not About Positive Thinking

For the record, conscious creation is not about thinking positive thoughts.

That’s a common myth among muggles, and sometimes even among studied creators.

Lots of muggles dismiss – or even ridicule – conscious creation because they say expecting someone who feels terrible to think positive is downright cruel.

I would agree.

But creating reality isn’t about thinking positive thoughts 24/7.

It’s about finding ways to feel better. From wherever you are right now.

That could mean taking a break, or meditating, or yes, finding a new thought to think.

But the new thought doesn’t have to be positive. It just has to feel better.

And a better feeling thought is not necessarily a positive one. At least not all the time, and not to someone else’s ears.

  • Sometimes better-feeling thoughts sound rather negative.
  • Sometimes they sound hateful. And have swear words in them.
  • Sometimes they wish ill on another.

(Don’t judge – sometimes that’s what it takes!)

For example, sometimes the better feeling thought is, “Aw, who gives a &*$%.” Or “I hope he rots in hell.”

I’m not saying all hateful thoughts are better-feeling ones that create delightful realities, but I am saying that sometimes one person’s better-feeling thought can sound downright negative to another.

And that’s okay. Because it doesn’t matter how it sounds to anyone else. It only matters how it feels to the speaker.

Those “negative” thoughts are appropriate (and even life-saving) when we’re in a bad vibrational neighborhood. Getting to better territory sometimes includes thoughts that don’t sound very pretty.

And if we aren’t willing to think those things we can end up stuck in a negative place with no way out. (That’s why some folks who’ve learned to only think nice things get stuck in depression, because they’re not willing to get angry or pessimistic. Friend, that could be your ticket out!)

Abe says that’s because “you can’t get there from here,” meaning when you’re feeling depressed you don’t have access to joy and enthusiasm. It’s too big a vibrational leap.

You maybe can get to jealousy and revenge, for example. And the thoughts that get you to jealousy and revenge can lead to something incrementally better. And so on and so on.

It’s a process, not a quantum leap.

So I agree it’s unhelpful and even unrealistic to expect a discouraged or fearful person to engage thoughts of love and appreciation on a dime.

And that’s not what conscious creation is.

It’s about finding a way to feel better.

Which might include some swear words and things you wouldn’t want to post publicly.

So the next time someone tells you that “thinking positive” is a pollyanna approach that won’t solve anything in our negative world, well – you’ll find the thought that feels best to you. 🙂 And that’s what conscious creation is!

  • July 14, 2018

How to Manifest a World Cup Win

Quick post for those tuning in for the World Cup (although these tips can be applied to anything you’re creating) …

I’m not necessarily a sports fan, but I am a fan of using conscious creation to manifest whatever we want.

So for those wondering how to help their team bring home a World Cup win, here are my favorite law of attraction tips (as inspired by my chat with Zestology’s Tony Wrighton):

1. Forget about the odds (unless the odds are in your favor).

Odds are for muggles. (Unless it supports our desired outcome, in which case we leverage them! Because we’re flexible like that. We’re conscious creators who know how to set ourselves up for thought success!)

Whatever you do, stop thinking about how unlikely or difficult or challenging it is for your guys to win. Give up the story of how hard it is to pull off. That focus does not serve the manifestation you want. Instead …

2. Dwell on reasons to believe.

Make your desired outcome easy to believe in by reminding yourself why it could happen. What are the reasons to believe in a win? It doesn’t have to be a long list – even just a couple reasons will direct your attention in a way that amps up belief.

(And belief along with desire are the two keys to successful manifesting!)

When I’m not coming up with a bunch of reasons to believe in what I want, one of my favorite answers is, “Stranger things have happened.” I believe in strange things, and this could be one of those.

But you’ll likely have a nice compilation of reasons to believe, including a capable coach with a proven successful approach (he got us this far, didn’t he?!), strong players who have the whole country rooting for them, or even that we’re just plain due for a win!

You know what else always goes on my list? (And yes, I do write this list out on paper.) I know how the system works, and I’m working it right now. By focusing on reasons to believe, I am adding to the power of that outcome. (That’s one of my reasons to believe: I am engaging my manifesting superpowers!)

Another reason to believe, if your list feels light: it’s already happened, in one version of reality. You’re not even creating something that doesn’t exist – this version is already happening. It’s already a done deal (on some level, in some parallel universe). All you have to do is become the frequency of that version in order to experience it.

Bottom line: manifest your team as capable, not compromised. If the odds are in your favor, remember why your team is favored. You’re mentally exploiting whatever advantages you can conjure to enhance your belief in a win.

3. See it happen (before it does).

In your mind’s eye, play out this win in advance. Envision things coming together. The fans are incredibly enthusiastic. The team is gelled, the players are in the flow, they’re on fire! It’s happening – you can see it, right? You gotta be able to see it. And feel it … feel the player’s triumph. Feel the fans explode with joy. Feel the excitement from the announcers. Feel the pride and the camaraderie with everyone else celebrating this win.

If you’re feeling now how you’d feel then, you’re clicked in. Ruminate in it for 30-60 seconds. Repeat as inspired or know that just one activation is all it takes. For extra effect, you might even celebrate the win in advance, like this win was already cinched.

4. Decide to feel good no matter what.

With this tip I’m asking you to activate appreciation. When you’re in appreciation mode, you’re not attached. And attachment can kink up a vibe in a hurry.

So decide you’re going to enjoy it either way. Don’t make your well-being or happiness dependent on game results. I mean, hasn’t it been fun to get here? Isn’t it a delight to feel the excitement of an entire country? Aren’t you loving seeing all these fans come together for this purpose? It’s already been a good time. No matter how it turns out, that’s still true.

5. Let it go.

This can be a tricky ask for some, but it really does bring extra magic when you get the hang of it. I’m talking about doing your focusing work, then letting it go.

Hand it over. Let the powers that be play with it next. Your part is done.

Obsessively turning this over in your mind can sometimes be a sign of kinky vibes. Someone who was enjoying themselves wouldn’t constantly fret or worry about what might happen. They do their part and then let it go.

(That’s why so many of our easiest manifesting successes are the ones we didn’t care about too much – just one little light thought, we forget about it, and then poof! – it’s happening before we know it! It’s because we didn’t hold on to it.)

Thoughts that might help you accomplish this tip are to remember that it’s just a game and life is meant to be fun. Not important. Not serious. Everything goes our way much more easily when we hold our desires lightly and with joy. Making this win a big deal isn’t actually conducive to success.

Extra tip for athletes competing on the field: play like you’re a winner. Not like you’re trying to win, or hoping to, or even wanting to. And certainly not like you need to. Play like the winner. It’s a different vibration – can you feel it?

Don’t wait for some score or trophy to feel it. You lead this party. Feel it first, right now, and throughout. Good vibes there.

(That’s also why so many winners keep winning. They know the vibe! It’s why the rich get richer and the poor get poorer. The vibe we hold dictates what follows. So get the winning vibe in place and carry on!)

As I mentioned before, these tips are good not just for bringing home the World Cup but also for anything else you’re in the mood to manifest.

And for anyone asking “What happens if everyone does this, and we’re rooting for opposite outcomes?“, the answer is three-fold:

  • First of all, not everyone is doing it. So those who do have a nice advantage.
  • Second, everyone gets what they vibrate. We don’t have to agree and we don’t necessarily experience the same version of reality. So, mind your own (focusing) business.
  • Third, is this the question of a winner? That sounds like the question of a doubter, so get that handled, friend! 🙂

  • July 11, 2018

By the Power Vested In Me

I declare, by the Power vested in meLast weekend mom made a fabulous pasta salad filled with all sorts of good things – cucumbers, tomatoes, garbanzo beans, black beans, olive oil, cheese cubes, and other good stuff that I can’t go confirm because I ate all the leftovers already.

When we were enjoying our first helping, someone asked what kind of cheese it was. (Mozzarella.) Which launched a discussion about which kind of cheese is best for you.

We were remembering differently about what the healthy cheeses are, and that’s when I decided the consensus isn’t important to me.

I get to decide what’s healthy for me.

And I declare this cheese as the healthiest for me. Right now. Because I’m cool like that. I say what goes (for me).

Then earlier this week I was wondering about our puppy adoption process, and whether we needed to do home checks to make sure we got everyone in good homes. Just to confirm we did right by all those foster puppies.

As I was grappling with whether we needed to follow up or not, I decided that all those adoptions were fabulous, all those adopters are amazing, and all those puppies are set to live happily ever after where they are treasured and adored members of their new families.

Because I said so. Because I know how to use my conscious creation powers.

Instead of trying to figure out is it “this” or is it “that” – I remember that everything is happening. Everything “good” and everything “bad.” It’s all happening.

The only question is which do I choose? (i.e. which do I vibrate?)

So of course when I’m in my right LOA mind I choose the preferred thing. The one where mozzarella is good for me and puppies live happily ever after.

I’ve been liking this routine so much that I turned the process into an official declaration:

I declare, by the power vested in me as a Conscious Creator from Source Energy, that this is a good idea.

And it settles the matter. There’s no longer any doubt in my mind. I no longer entertain any unwanted options. It’s settled.

The Powers That Be have spoken. (Me being the “Powers that Be.”)

(Yes, I am name-dropping when I invoke Source Energy, but it makes it feel even more official. Kind of like a “Do you know who I am?” sort of acknowledgement. I am a Creator. Descended directly from Source Energy. It doesn’t get any more authoritative than that.)

It’s been really fun making new declarations:

  • I declare, by the power vested in me as a Conscious Creator from Source Energy, that things are looking up.
  • I declare, by the power vested in me as a Conscious Creator from Source Energy, that business is good.
  • I declare, by the power vested in me as a Conscious Creator from Source Energy, that my body is getting better every day.

I like it so much I could go on all day.

In fact, I have been. I’ve been pointing my power all over the good places. Because I can. (“I declare this tree will live.” “I declare this show will be worth watching.” “I declare they will call when my phone is recharged.”)

It kind of makes me giggle.

Thought I’d share it with anyone else who is in the mood to use their power by declaring good things for themselves. 🙂

  • June 13, 2018
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